The first Chapter . Of the ground and foundation of true & Christian friendship .

THe ground and foundation of true & Christian Friendshippe , is the admiration of vertue , or of some speciall gift of God that is in an other : the praise & vse whereof , respecteth either God himself , or els man . 1. Sam. 18. verse 1. and 27. & . 30. This mooued Ionathan to knit himselfe in most firme friendship with Dauid : whom for his valiaunt heart and noble courage in vanquisshing proud Goliath , he highly estéemed , honoured and entierly loued . Such persons therefore as either for some singular gift of true Godlinesse , or for some speciall praise of some morall vertue ( as namely , Iustice , fortitude , liberalitie , &c. ) doe excell others , and are worthily therefore inuested with the title of deserued commendation , we doe throughly loue , entierly reuerence , and hartily fauour . And this later is the neerest & the next cause , that wee commonly vse to respect , and to haue regarde vnto . But the former of the twaine is that , which is occasioned , bredde and brought forth by a secrete instinct of the Spirite from God : to wit , the mutuall knitting together of myndes , and a like inclination and conformitie of willes . For al true and holy Friendship hath his ground from GOD , in whome it is firmely established , and by whom only it continueth sure , stedfast and permanent .

The second Chapter . Who be fit to lincke together in fast friendship , and betweene what persons it may be .

ALthough many sortes and kindes of Familiaritie be tearmed by the name of Friendship , yet of them all , is there but one onely kinde , that of right may chalenge the name of true Friendshippe . And this can be among none others , sauing onely those , which be faithfull and true hearted Christians : such ( I say ) as are ledde by the Spirite of God , and haue his feare before their eyes .

For when Infidelles and vnbeleeuers doe ioyne together in consent about any matter among themselues , they doe it either for reward , hyre and gayne sake : or els for their priuate pleasures : or finally , for their aduauncement and honours sake : all which endes are most farre from true Friendshippe . Therefore ( I say ) it can be among none others , them onely such , as be godly and faithful , and feare the Lord effectually . For there can be neither fellowship nor agreement of mynds betwene a beleeuer and an Infidell : yea , 2. Cor. 6.14 . the Apostle Paule warneth vs not to companie with such : but to come out from them , and to separate our selues from their familiaritie . Now , although wee bee in some sorte allowed , and not altogether flatly forbidden a certaine kinde of common conuersation with Infidelles and vnbeleeuers , so farre forth as the societie and necessitie of this our humaine life for mutuall entercourse of commodities and curtesies one with an other requireth : yet may we not linck our selues in that neere familiaritie , or vse that ordinary companie , and friendly conuersation with them , 1. Cor. 5.1.2 . 2. Thes. 3.14 . wherby any inward heartie friendship or good liking one of an other may growe and be engendred . In this godly sorte was the fast friendship betweene Dauid and Ionathan made and confirmed , which were both of them godly persons , and fearing the Lord . For like with like ( according to the old Prouerbe ) doe best agree , and are easiliest brought to keepe companie together .

The third Chapter . What true and Christian friendship is .

WE must therefore plainely declare , what true Friendship is . Wherein we must first note the distinction and difference that is made betweene fauourable goodwill called Beneuolentia : and perfect Friendship tearmed Amicitia . For a fauourable goodwill is that , when men being absent one from an other , yea , which neuer sawe one an other , doe yet heartily loue one an other , drawne thereunto by a kinde of admiration of vertue , or some notable and singular gift of God , which the one doth perceiue , espye and knowe to bee resiaunt in the other . So , when as Paule had as yet neither seene Peter , Gala. 1.18.19 . Iames , nor Iohn , yet did he loue them : and this kind of loue , was this fauourable good will , and this Beneuolentia , which wee speake of , beeing knitte and combined together betweene persons absent .

But Friendship requireth both the companie , the sight , and the familiar conuersation of friends together among themselues . Therfore it is onely among them , which are either daiely conuersaunt one with an other : or els such as haue aforetyme liued long tyms together . For , familiar conuersation , and frequent companie keeping , encreaseth ( as the Prouerbe saith ) this friendship , and sowdreth men together in this indissoluble agreement of myndes . Now , Friendship is such a kinde of loue and inwarde affection , as that there can not possiblie be any greater , and vnto which , there cannot any thing be either added or put vnto more . It requireth therefore a mutuall frequentation and familiar conuersation , because thereby our goodwill , liking and affection is vsually encreased , strengthened , and made greater . In this sorte was that friendship betweene Dauid and Ionathan , not only at the first occasioned and begun , namely , by that their domesticall and familiar conuersation at home in Saules house : but was also thereby much encreased and furthered . 1. Sam. 18. & . 20.5 . For this same dailey being in companie together ( which I speake of ) or at least , Psal. 41.9 . this often meeting and conference together , doth feede ( as it were ) this newe kindled fier or flame of ardent affection , which burneth alike in the breastes of either partie .

Neither yet doth friendship ceasse or vtterly perish , through absence , growing vpon iust and reasonable causes : as we may see in Dauid and Ionathan , whose friendship continued and lasted still , the one ( notwithstanding ) being absent from the other : for such deepe rooted goodwill , and such ardent affection can not be easely quenched . Therefore , Friendship being first well and surely grounded betweene persons present , 1. Sam. 23.16 . continueth still euen betweene them being absent : and the further they be asunder , the greater commonly is the longing desire of either partie to other : and the more vehemently doth their enflamed myndes encrease . But if this absence and discontinuaunce be long deferred , protracted or delayed : or if this Friendship were not at the beginning well and throughly settled and grounded , then truely ( such is the fickle condition and inconstancie of the worlde now adaies ) it is wont commonly either to slyde quite away and take his leaue , or at least to waxe cold , and not to haue such great heates and desires as before . For Aristotle saith , and that very truely , Silence and absence dissolueth many friendships .

What is therefore this true and Christian Friendship whereof wee now speake ? Many men doe bring many reasons , whereby they goe about ( if not altogether and plainly to explicate and at large to displaye , yet at least wise ) to depaynt and somewhat to shadow out the force and nature thereof . Some therfore define it with too large circumstaunces , and some againe , hemme it in within too narrowe a compasse . For they which say , that Friendship is a consent of mindes in all causes and all matters whatsoeuer , doe not well aduise themselues , what they say : for that , they doe stretch the force of Friendshippe further then they ought to doe . For , there may bee many things , wherein two men or moe doe not alwaies agree together in one , but be of diuers and sundrie opinions . As namely , they may at some tymes agree together to doe some good thing , and oftentymes againe , they may consult together to do some things naughtie and wicked : So that in such a case , this consent of mindes in them ought rather to be termed a secrete compact , a whispering assemblie , or a close conference , rather then true and stedfast Friendship . For they that so define Friendship , that they make it to be a consent of goodmen among themselues , touching their priuate affayres and dealings onely , doe make of Friendshippe as it were a kinde of Merchandize .

But wee doe thinke that Friendship may very well be thus defined , if wee say , that it is a Pact or Couenaunt made betweene two persons , ( God himselfe beeing called to witnesse ) wherein they faithfully promise , th' one to th' other , mutually to loue , cherish , and entierly to conserue , protect , maintaine and defend one the others person , estate , and goods , so farre foorth as it may lawfully bee done , without breach of God his lawe , or dishonour to his worde . Which definition being particularly examined , shal the better appeare , and be found to carie in it the more certaintie and trueth . Hierome in his 5. Epistle doth thus define it : Friendshippe is a mutuall loue engraffed in the mynde , and a strong linking of the harts together , chast , sincere , and without emulation .

And first it is called a Pact or Couenant , because in Friendshippe this seemeth to be a thing thereunto singularlie and peculiarlie appropriate , that there is alwaies betweene faithfull vowed Louers , a certaine bargaine or agreement solemnely made . So did Ionathan and Dauid agree and consent betwene themselues , making a Couenaunt betweene them , and that not only once , but many times renewed and repeated . For , 1. Sam. 18.3 . & . 20.8 . & . 17. & 23 18. 1. Cor. 1.10 . as loue and charitie doth generally commaund and will euery one of vs to bee knit together in a most firme consent of myndes and agreement of iudgements : so specially & namely in true Friendship , it is among Friends most chiefly required , that their faithfull hearts and true affections may not bee smoothered in secrecie , or kept vnknowne , but be apparaunted , made open and manifested .

For , such is the force and efficacie of this loue and affection which knitteth and linketh them together , that it will not in any wise bee hidd , but will breake foorth into open shewe . Wherby it commeth to passe , that the one vttereth and testifieth to the other , what affection raigneth in him , and what desire he hath to bee loued againe of the other , whom he so ardently fauoureth . Among other kindes of men , the mutuall goodwill that one beareth to an other may many tymes be kept secrete and vnuttered : But betweene Friends it can not in any case so be . Therefore they doe vse this testification of their mutual affection and will , as it were , the liuely voyce of both their hearts , and the firmer bond and stronger Buttresse for perpetuitie and continuaunce .

Now , the name of God is vsed , and in this case called to witnesse , because he is the true Author and very Fountaine of al firme , faithfull and stedfast Friendship , without whom no maner of Friendship can be good , godlie , or commendable . For a higher , greater , mightier or surer witnesse , pledge , or token , of their inward minde and will , then God himself is , can they haue none : and therefore doe they reuerently in this behalf , and for this purpose call him as Witnesse to their Conscience and protestation . And what better witnesse of their professed promise can they bring then God himselfe ? Whose name or authoritie can they vse , that can and wil more seuerely and sharply punish their breach and contempt , then he ? For , their desire and wishe is , that the couenant , pact , league , promise , vowe , protestation agreeement and consent so betweene them mutually made , and enterchaungeablie receiued and taken , should not be for a tyme but for euer : not momentanie , but perpetuall : not fleeting and fading , but permanent and stable . For this intent therefore ( I say ) doe they vse and enterpose the name of God , building their matters vpon him , who is the strongest and surest foundation . And thus doe we reade that Ionathan and Dauid knit their Friendship & made their couenaunt before the Lord . 1. Sam. 23.18 .

It is further also written of the same Ionathan , that he gaue vnto Dauid , as a pledge , bonde or pawne of their newe begon Friendshippe , not onely the solemne cyting of the name of God , but also other visible giftes and outward testifications , to wit , his Robe , 1. Sa. 18.3 . Girdle , Sword , Bowe , and such other garments and furniture , as at that tyme he had : for such heartie curtesies maketh men , not onely the mindfuller , but also more religious keepers and obseruers of their promise and couenant .

It is said in the definition to be betweene two : because neuer or very seldome is firme and fast Friendship among moe then twaine . And therefore for the preseruing of it stable , stedfast and vnuiolated , there must not a third be taken into this knot of true Friendshippe . Now , whereas it is written of Dionysius King of Sicile , that he earnestly requested to be taken into the perfect bond of sincere amitie together with Damon & Pythias , it maketh nothing against this our saying . For , there was no such nere coniunction of mynds with him , as was betweene them two them selues , the one with the other : but it was rather an admiration of that most rare Friendship and surpassing goodwill of men among themselues : which vnto a most mightie King seemed admirable , happie and entierly to bee wished for , and which also seemed farre safer and blessedder then that his royall estate and condition . So were Ionathan and Dauid friendes together , being but onely two . For , Friendship betweene moe then two , groweth out of estimation , looseth of his dignitie and price , is contemned and lesse accoumpted of , and in trueth forfaiteth his wonted force and proper vertue .

It followeth in the definition : Of mutually louing , defending , cherishing , & mainteyning one an other . For these be the very chiefest and principallest effects of Friendship , that such as bee true friendes in deede , must mutually loue one the other , and that not faynedlie and clokedlie , but euen truely and sincerely : and because of such their mutuall sinceritie and true loue , they doe also mutually defend , cherish , maintaine and protect one an other .

Last of all , there is added in the definition : so farre foorth as may lawfully bee done without offence to GOD , or dishonor to his most glorious Maiestie . Wherein be set downe the endes whereunto , and the bounds how farre Friendship may stretch : beyond which bounds it is not in any wise lawfull to passe . So that hereby we see three especiall poyntes most necessarie and behoouefull for the better explication and further opening of the force , vertue , efficacie & nature of Frendshippe , namely , to bee heere opened , handled and discussed , viz.

1 The scope and marke whereat Frends doe ayme . 2 The very effects of Friendship . 3 The Endes and bounds that must bee layed out : and of Frindes in their Friendship to be kept and obserued .

Which three poynts I purpose here particularly to prosecute , after that I haue first laied downe myne opinion and iudgement of this question : Whether an holie , firme and neere friendship , lincked and vowed betwene certaine godly and faithfull persons , bee any way repugnaunt to that charge and Commaundement of our heauenly Father , touching the louing of all men in generall .

The fourth Chapter . Contayning a question : Whether the lawe of Friendship doe any whit oppugne the generall Commaundement of God , touching loue and charitie to all men .

FIrst , such men as holde opinion that there is herein a repugnancie , doe alledge two reasons : The one is , The generall Commaundement of God , Rom. 13.8 wherby we are charged to loue one an other . Now , if it bee lawfull for some particular persons to contract within them selues a kinde of more streict and nere amitie then with others , then thinke they , that this generall Rule of louing all men indifferently , is transgressed and broken .

Their second reason is this : Our dueties , ( commaunded and enioyned vnto vs in that generall Commaundement of Loue ) ought to bee so great towards all men , yea towards our very Enemies , that greater , better , or faithfuller can there not , ne possiblie ought there to be shewed vnto those , whom wee call and tearme Friendes . What force or effect then ( say they ) is there in this singular and speciall goodwill , mutuall agreement and inward Friendshippe onely betwene some two , Mat. 5.44 . and no moe ? By these two Arguments they thinke this same neere bond , infringible consent , firme loue and singular force of speciall Friendship is encountred and taken away : because it maketh vs ( say they ) the more remisse , negligent and slacke to loue , ayde , assist and relieue others , which are not so fastlie ioyned in heart vnto vs : & because thereupon wee haue more minde to please and benefite those whom we haue specially chosen for our deare and neere Friends : letting all others ( in a maner ) to passe by , without any helpe at our handes at all .

For answere whereunto , we say , Answere . that there be other , and the same most strong and inuincible Arguments to confirme , approue , establish and warrant this speciall kinde of entier Amitie among men : prouing the same to bee to the godlie not onely lawful and allowable , but also honest , lawdable and necessarie .

First , the authoritie of the Sacred Scriptures , which teacheth vs that wee ought to loue such as wee admit and receiue into our inward Friendship . And therfore the Spirite of GOD , thundreth out threates , Psal. 41.9 . Psal. 55.21 Isaiah . 3.5 . Mic. 7.5.6 . Eccl. 22.25 comminations and punishments against violaters and breakers of this inward amitie and profession of speciall Loue .

Secondly , the example of godly men , who both publiquely and priuately haue sundrie tymes solennely entred into , & religiously with mutuall consent professed this neere & strict bond of Amitie . Which deede and purpose of theirs , God himself both praiseth and also setteth the same forth vnto vs , as a patterne to imitate . 1. Sam. 18.3 . & . 19.1 . In this sorte were Dauid and Ionathan lincked together in a most firme bonde of perfect Friendship . And those couenants which among Kinges and Princes and high Estates are called Leagues , are among priuate persons tearmed Amitie . But Leagues are allowable and warrantable by the lawe of God : 1. Kin. 4.5 . And therfore Amitie and Friendship also .

Thirdly , Nature her self : together with the common speach and settled opinion of al Nations : for there is no people but highly extolleth the vertue of Frendship , and hath deuised notable sentences of praise in condemnation thereof : as namely this : Wee haue no lesse neede for the vse of this life of Friendship , then we haue of water and fier . Notablie and excellently is the same discoursed vpon , and commended vnto vs in their learned works , both by Aristotle and Cicero . And it is the common receiued opinion and vsuall tearme of Nature , & of all people of the world generallie : against the which , whosoeuer resisteth and againe saieth , speaketh euen against his owne Conscience .

Finally , these former Arguments of the againsayers , are vnsufficient and prooue nothing : because they may both of them be easily answered and quickly confuted . As first , I say and answere that ( by entring into a certaine hearty and inward friendship with some one particuler person ) the generall Commaundement and Precept of almightie God is neither hindred nor taken away . For , God himself who teacheth vs to loue all men , hath ( notwithstanding ) by his Lawe appoynted certaine degrees of Loue , for vs to followe , whereby wee are to loue some more tenderly and dearely then other some . For , he willeth vs not to yeeld alike and equall loue vnto all men indifferently and without respect : Gen. 2.24 . Mat. 19.5 . Ephe. 5.25 . Col. 3.20 . Gal. 6.10 . seeing that , wee are commaunded to loue our wife more then our parents : our Children aboue Straungers : and them which bee of the houshold of Faith , more then Infidels . Seeing therefore in respect of consanguinitie , kindred and proximitie of bloud , it is lawfull for vs to make a difference , by louing our neerest friendes more ardently and with greater affection then others : and to discerne betwene the inwarde heartie loue which wee beare to them , and the common generall loue which vniuersallie we beare to all others : why may wee not also bee allowed the same , in respect of our vowed promise , sworne couenant and professed Amitie ? And our Sauiour Iesus Christ , Ioh. 21.20 . & . cha. 13.23 . being the patterne of all true Loue , is saied to haue loued Iohn aboue all the rest of his Disciples .

Their second Argument is vaine , and friuolous . They demaund this question : what is there left for any speciall Friendship , when as all men in generall ( yea our very Enemies ) ought of vs to be vnfaynedly loued ? To whom let this briefly suffice for answere : that albeit we loue all , and shewe our selues ready and willing to helpe , relieue and defend all : yet be some more specially commended vnto our care then other some . Therfore the goodliest and fayrest fruite of Loue , is this noble vertue Friendship .

The fifth Chapter . To what scope and drift true friendshippe tendeth .

THE common & vulgar sorte of men ioyne together in friendship , one with an other for many considerations and for sundry endes & purposes . For either they knit themselues in league together in respect of some priuate gayne , commoditie and profite that the one hopeth to reape by the other : or els for some respect of pleasure : or finally because they seeke thereby to attaine some preferment honour , dignitie , praise or countenaunce . The true Christian friend of whom we here speake is farre from any of these endes : neither respecteth he any of all these aforesayd purposes : but his chiefe and principall drift is , that in this his Friendship , God specially may be truely honored , and his Neighbour vnfainedly loued . For , this onely thing doe al the godlie specially care for , and this marke doe they in the whole course of their loue chiefly ayme and shoote at .

But as there may be assigned many endes and scopes wherefore Friendship is sought for and concluded among men : so is there one speciall , and ( as it were ) a proper , chiefe and peculiar ende thereof . And that is this : looke whome GOD hath adorned and blessed with some speciall giftes aboue others , and therby mooued vs to haue the same partie for his rare qualities in admiration , vnto such an one doe we willingly adioyne our selues , and with him desire wee most gladly to enter into entier familiaritie .

The first meanes therefore , that firmely knitteth this moste friendly agreement of mindes together , is the will of God , which mooueth and draweth our hearts so to doe . And next is the admiration of the rare vertues and singular giftes , which we see in an other : in so much that we earnestly desire ( because of the same ) to bee in his companie , to haue his vnfained loue , and to stand assuredly in his fauour . And because we commonly admire and most especially loue those vertues , wherein wee chiefly take most delight , and whereunto we feele in our selues by God his good gift , some sparkes and inclinations : it commeth therfore to passe thereby , that there is seene in those that enter into this fast bond of friendship , a similitude and likenesse of maners and affections , the one with the other : and that being thus linked together , they doe ( by a certaine inwarde testimonie and secrete iudgement ) retaine one and the same consent in all things , and still iumpe together in one opinion .

This third cause therefore for the procuring and piecing of firme and true Friendship , is of most excellent force , and beareth most effectuall sway , I meane , the similitude of maners , and like delight in studies and affections . For , to will and iust alike , ( that is to say , what the one willeth , the other to will the same : and what the other nilleth , the other to be alike affected , ) is firme and stedfast Friendship . Friendes therefore commonly take delight in thinges alike , and chiefly for the most parte frame themselues by natures conduction and inclination , vnto the loue and studie of one and the selfe same vertue .

The first foundation therefore of Friendship , is grounded vpon likenes of studies and similitude of maners . For , in that we hope to be defended , maintained and protected by our friendes : in that , we our selues desire to be amiable and admirable to the good and godly : in that , finally we seeke a faithfull companion and helper , vnto whome to impart our whole deuises and counsailes , all these are rather effects of true Friendship , then ends thereof . Certes , in that firme and fast agreement of mynds betweene Dauid and Ionathan , there was none other scope or ende respected , then this which we here mention .

As touching that sentence of our Sauiour Christ , Make you friendes of the vnrighteous Mammon , 1. Sa. 18.3 . Luc. 16.9 . it is not to bee otherwise vnderstood , then that we must learne to bestowe our wealth and money better , then the common sorte of men doe : namely vpon the poore and needie , which may commend vs vnto God by their prayers : and not vpon the rich and wealthie , whom we commonly ( notwithstanding ) are more readie to pleasure and benefite . To conclude therefore with Cicero : Where is this holy Amitie & godly Friendship , if the partie whom wee professe to loue and choose to our friende , bee not truely , sincerely , vnfainedly , and onely for himselfe and by himselfe , ardently , affectionatly , and hartily loued ? Lib. 1. de ●ragib .

The sixt Chapter . Of the effects of true Friendship .

THere bee three especiall effects of true Friendship : to witte , mutuall loue in God : an holie consent of myndes : and an interchaungeable or reciprocall defence , maintenaunce , assistaunce and protection one of an other to the vttermost of abilitie and power .

First , as touching Loue : It is an affection of the heart , by the which wee especially loue some one , more than others : wishing vnto him all welfare and prosperous successe . And this Loue is called Dilectio , as who should say , Delectio , which signifieth a choyse or an election & culling out : & the word Diligere to loue , is so named of an other like worde Deligere , which signifieth to pick or choose out : because that party whom we tenderly loue , we specially pick and choose out from among all others , and haue a speciall care and desire for his well doing and prosperitie more then for all others besides . Therefore we loue all men in a generalitie , but we tenderly and affectionatly embrace but fewe , or but some one onely , or paraduenture none at all . For there is a greater vehemencie , and a more effectuall signification in this word Diligere , then there is in the word Amare , although to loue be the signification both of the one and the other : which difference is wel noted by that most eloquent Marcus Cicero in one of his familiar Epistles , written to Paetus .

Whereby wee may see , that force and violence is not the way to procure and knit firme Friendship betweene parties : nor yet feare : but rather a free choyse of the mynde , and an hartie good liking toward some peculiar person , vpon whom ( God so disposing our heart ) wee franklie and in full measure bestowe the whole zeale of our entier fauour . For , a man that enrolleth himselfe once in the Register of a perfect and sincere friend , doth so effectuously and dearely loue his friend , that he euen accoumpteth and acknowledgeth him , as an other himselfe : and wisheth no better in any respect to himselfe , then he doth vnto that his newe chosen Friend . For , if there should bee allowed neuer so little difference herein , the name of Frendshippe were vtterly gone and quight quayled , and might no longer enioye that title : Lib. 1. de tragib . as the same Cicero no lesse eloquently then truely hath set downe .

For , such is the force of Friendship , that whensoeuer a man wisheth any better happe to himself , then he doth to his friend , it by & by ceasseth and dyeth . And such effect doth this Loue worke in the mynds of faithful frendes , that the one reioyceth at the prosperous estate and welfare of the other : and contrariwise , soroweth and is greatly greeued at his mishap and aduersitie : euen as wee see , came to passe in Ionathan , 1. Sam. 20. vers 34. & . 41. who greatly sorowed at the calamitie and affliction of Dauid . Yea , so mightie is the force of this Loue and coniunction of myndes , that they weepe together , and reioyce together .

Finally , when a man is faithfully professed in this league of sincere and true Friendship , he preferreth and more esteemeth his friende then he doth any other whomsoeuer : and beareth vnto him a farre greater affection and zeale then to all other men , ( for so seemed Ionathan to preferre his deare friende Dauid before his owne naturall father ) so farre forth as Gods glorie is not thereby eclipsed , nor his holy will and commaundement wilfully transgressed . For , he bewrayed and opened his fathers secrete counsell vnto Dauid , and tried out by deuises , what his fathers purpose sayinges and meaninges were toward him : yea , 1. Sam. 20.4 . & . 9. this Ionathan feared not a whit to discouer and open vnto him such practises as greatly sounded to the shame and reproach of his owne father King Saule .

This so vehement mutuall Loue , breedeth likewise among friendes a mutuall consent and an holy agreement of mynds in al things yea , it ingendreth also betweene them a sweete pleasure and longing desire of the one toward the other . And the further that they bee asunder by distaunce of place , the more ardently do they desire and long the one for the other : as it were , one entier Soule , being separated and vehemently desiring the other halfe of it selfe being absent . Finally , the neerer they be together , the more is the flame of their inward mutuall affection inkindled , and through daily conuersing together , is still made sweeter , and pleasaunter .

This kinde of vehement Affection is not lightly seene among any other persons : for it commonly falleth out , that this daily conuersation and frequent familiaritie together , breedeth and soweth among them either flat hatred , or at least apparant contempt . But betweene Frendes it is the meanes that bindeth and tyeth them the surer and the faster together . For , their naturall dispositions so rightly agree together , that what the one thinketh good , the other thinketh not amisse : and in all things they commonly retaine one and the selfe same iudgement , striuing within themselues , whether of them may surmount and ouercome the other in curtesies and benefites .

They drawe moreouer in one equall yoke , they haue one will , one minde , one purpose and meaning , whereby their mutuall consent in all respects is not onely inuiolably conserued , but also much the more encreased . Therfore there is no iarring , no dissension , no brawling , no chyding , no contention , no froward ouerthwarting betweene them that be friendes in deede : but the one beareth with the other : the one yeeldeth to the other : in giuing of honour the one goeth before the other : the one not so wedded to his opinion , but that he suffreth himself to be easily persuaded or dissuaded by the other , so farre as the honor of God is not thereby any way empayred or emblemished .

The third and last effect of true Friendship , is the interchangeable curtesie , defence , protection , assistaunce , ayde , maintenance and conseruation to the very vttermost of abilitie and power , of one Friend for an other : with no lesse care for his preseruation , safetie , preferment , commoditie , and all other benefites whatsoeuer , both touching himselfe , and also all them that depend vpon him .

For , if by that societie & loue which ought to bee betweene all the godlie among them selues , we accoumpt those that by nature are ioyned and lincked vnto vs as our owne , and doe studie which way wee may doe them any good , either in mainteyning them with necessaries , or defending them from extremities : how much more ought one Frend to be carefull for the good estate and welfare of an other , and to accoumpt him as his owne , yea as himselfe : specially hauing vowed and promised ( and that with an oth ) so to doe ? Therfore he will bee readie in trueth to say and to promise the same that Dauid spake and vowed to Abiathar : ● . Som. 22.23 . He that seeketh thy life , shall seeke my life also . Their Guestes , their familiars , their friendes , and their enemies shal be common betweene them , and no more to the one then to the other . And to conclude : All things among friendes ( according to the olde Prouerbe ) are common .

Chiefly , principally and afore all thinges , the one ought to haue an especiall care for the saluation and soule health of the other : next , for the safetie and welfare of the bodie : and thirdly , for their other goodes ioyntly appertayning vnto them , either in common , in the right of faithfull Friendship : ( of which sorte be worldly goodes , Cattaile , money , wealth , and the francke vse thereof at either of their pleasures ) or els priuately and singularly belonging vnto the one of them : as for example , his wife . Therfore , if the one shall vnderstand of any conspiracie or practise deuised , imagined , or intended to the hurte and hinderaunce of the other , he will discouer and reueale it . For so dealt Ionathan toward Dauid . 1. Sam. 19.2 . & . 20. vers. 2.12 .

They will also hazard themselues the one for the other , and put themselues in present daunger for their defence and rescue , aswell in their absence as in their presence . 1. Sa. 1.20.30 . Ioh. 15.13 . For so did Ionathan put himselfe into most apparant perill for his faithfull friend Dauid . In al respects , and at all assaies they are helpfull and assistaunt , the one to the other .

To conclude , by their most friendly and syncere admonitions , aduises , assistaunce and ayde ( so farre as by the warrant of the Word of God and of a good Conscience is lawfull ) they vnfaynedly relieue , succour , helpe , cherish , comfort , encourage , maintaine , nourish , cheere vp and sustaine the one the other . For , Friendes doe mutually helpe the one the other , either with their wealth and goodes : or els with their aduise and counsell : or finally with their trauaile , and labour .

In their giuing of counsaile , and aduise , or in their admonitions and frendly directions , one Friend doth not flatter an other : neither doth he conceale and hide from him , if he espye and knowe in him any faultes worthie of reprehension . For , Christian Friendship tendeth vnto , and respecteth the aduauncement of Gods glorie , and not the fostring and nourishing of men in their errors . He that is a godly friend , remembreth and vseth this notable sentence of Phocion the Athenian : Thou canst not haue mee to bee both a Flatterer , and a Friend to thee also .

For a Flatterer and a Friend doe not onely differ in deed and in name : but sure and certaine it is , that Flatterie is the rankest poyson & the most daungerous plague to Frendshippe that possiblie can bee . The which , although it carie an outward shewe of great affection and syncere goodwill , yet ( doubtlesse ) doth it vtterly vndoe the bond of Friendship , vtterly weaken and enfeeble his strength , and vtterly each way destroye and marre the nature thereof . For , the Flatterer resembleth and counterfaiteth the wordes of an vnfained Friend , but not his honest mynde , neither his syncere loue , nor his true hearted Affection .

Moreouer , all these three poyntes aboue specified , ought among Freendes to bee common . For , Friendes not onely straine them selues mutually to requite curtesies , but also in these their curtesies , couet the one to surmount & passe , yea , & to preuent ( as much as in them is ) the one the other . And therfore these perfourmances of mutuall Loue , of mutuall Consent , & of mutuall Defence , Protection and Assistaunce , bee actions enterchaungeable , and reciprocall . But yet not so , as that a Friend should purposelie bestowe a curtesie vpon his Friend , in hope of as good a turne or as large a benefite at his handes againe : ( for no other godly honest man extendeth his loue and charitie toward his neighbour , mercenarywise , or as it were , letting and fearming it out for hyre and gaine ) but because the force and nature of Friendship is such , that it will not haue these things otherwise , then mutually and reciprocally returnable .

All curtesies therefore are betweene them giuen , taken , restored , and requited mutually : howbeit ( and let this bee well noted ) not alwaies alike , not alwaies equally , nor in semblable proportion . For many tymes the one receiueth at the handes of the other , more curtesie and greater benefite , then he is able againe in the like measure to requite and repay : either by reason of the great oddes of the estate and condition of friendes , or els for the difference of their wealth and abilitie . As for example : the one peraduenture is very rich , the other poore : the one fortunate , the other miserable : the one exiled and banished , the other liuing at home in his natiue Countrey . But ( all these notwithstanding ) he that hath lesse stoare and smaller pittaunce of abilitie , although ( perchaunce ) he requite not so amplie and beneficially as hee receiued , yet requiteth hee and returneth as much as he is able . Wherevpon I say , that curtesies and benefites among Friendes , are alwaies mutuall and enterchangeable , but yet not alwaies alike and equall , as appeareth in Ionathan and Dauid . 1. Sam. 20.41 .

Yea , Friends doe not onely mutually protect , defend and maintaine one an others person , credite , state , wealth and possessions , but also ( as much as they are able ) procure the same to bee bettered and augmented . And therefore there is no maner of rancorous enuie or spightful disdaine betweene them . For there is not a greater nor a certainer plague , nor a more fretting Canker vnto syncere and true Frendship ( next to Adulation and Flatterie ) then is Spight and Enuie .

The seuenth Chapter . The right Ends of true and Christian Frendshippe .

IN discussing the Boundes and Endes of true and Christian Friendship , there bee two especiall poynts to bee decided , that are commonly brought into question . The first is , of the Tyme : how long it ought to remaine and bee continued . The second , of the maner and way how it ought to be obserued , retayned and kept : that is to say , what , how farre and how much one friend is to perfourme and to doe for an other .

Concerning the first , which is of the Tyme : let this stand for a definitiue and resolute answere , that ( if the syncere vowe and vnfained goodwill of them that godly enter into this Christian league of Friendship be aduisedly considered ) it ought to be endlesse , and to continue betweene them perpetually , euen so long as they both shall liue in this world .

And yet many tymes without any fault of theirs , by some casuall error and mishappe , it may so fall out , that there may be good cause , either vtterly to renounce and breake of , or at least to withdrawe and relent Friendshippe . For , what if the one of the Friendes should renye his faith , and of a faithfull beleeuer , become a faithlesse Infidell ? and of a Christian become a Turke or a Pagan ? Certes , in this case all Friendship is vtterly to be forsaken , and all Amitie ( if after sundrie exhortations and admonitions hee still persist in his obstinate miscreancie ) must be quight renounced . Howbeit , such a greeuous Apostacie and such an horrible backsliding , breedeth in the mynd of a Friend , no small heauinesse and sorowe , yea , and many tymes also causeth him for a tyme to suspende his determination , and to linger some while in hope of amendment and repentance . For , euen so likewise , at the death of our Friend , ( although wee verily beleeue and rest assured that his soule is receiued into euerlasting blisse ) yet doe wee sorowe and lament , 1. Sa. 1.26 . and that sometyme very much , as wee may see in Dauid . But yet must wee obeye the lawes of God and of our frailtie : Least otherwise , wee should ( like the olde Gyaunts ) goe about to make warre against God , or irreligiously to preferre our owne affections before the feare of the Lord our maker .

Therfore , there may oftentymes be giuen most iust occasion to breake and renounce Friendship : but yet the vowe and purpose at the first , ought so syncerely to be made and intended , as that it should last , continue , and be retayned for euer . And therefore that tearme and sentence which by some is vsed , is most beastly and reprooueable : Loue , as though thou shouldest one day hate . Which sentence and aduise , if it should preuaile and bee allowed , then farewell all fast Friendship : for then is all the force , pith and strength thereof vanished : then bee all the synewes of it loosed and weakened : and all that firme trust and assured opinion that ought to be among Frendes , ( safely , boldly and willingly to impart and communicate together their myndes one with an other , and one to reueale and open his secretes vnto an other ) is vtterly dashed and put to flight . For why ? neither will they , neither dare they aduenture so to doe , for feare of afterclappes .

Finally , to the ende they may thankfully , pleasantly , trustily and boldly liue together , this silthie Deuilish tearme of diffidence and distrust ( Loue , as though thou shouldest one day hate ) must bee quight banished and vtterly remoued out of their mynds : although ( as I said afore ) it may sometyme so fall out , that we may and ought to hate those whom aforetyme wee haue right dearely loued : but this thing happeneth contrary to the hope , desire and wish of Friendes . Therefore let this sentence of trust and good opinion rather take place & be heard , Loue , as though thou shouldest neuer hate .

So long therefore , as those two Friendes doe liue together , they ought in heart & vowe to conserue , keepe and maintaine their Frendshippe with all maner of behoouefull curtesies : and not to conceiue so much , as any suspition , either of breaking , or vtter dissoluing thereof . For this course doe they still take , that are true and faithfull Friendes within themselues .

But there is an other question here moued : When the one of the Friendes is dead , what ought the other Frend being aliue , to do with the deceased parties Children ? and how is he in respect of the Friendshippe which hee bare to their father , to deale with them ? and whether , the same Friendshippe ought to be continued towarde the Children of him beeing dead or no ?

Truely , it very well standeth with the rule of Equitie and Reason , that as Children bee heyres of their fathers Landes and Goodes , so also to enherite their fathers Friendship : accordingly as Isocrates writing to Demonicus hath most excellently set downe . Because among the fathers Goodes , his Frendship is also reckened , and is many times farre better and profitabler , then al the enheritance that the Father leaueth or can bequeath vnto his Children . And to such effect commonly , is Friendship embraced and entred into , with an heartie desire and affectionate vowe of the Parents : that the fruite thereof may redound and bee continued euen vnto their posteritie and Children .

Thus did the Friendship betweene Ionathan and Dauid reach and extend vnto the Children of Ionathan . 2. Sam. 9. vers. 1. & . 7 1. Sam. 20. vers. 15. & 42. Which although it may seeme to bee done by Pact and Couenaunt , at the first agreed vpon betwene them : yet ( doubtlesse ) is this euer included in the wish and desire of all Friendes , that the fruict of their mutuall Friendshippe and loue , should also after a sorte appertaine and be entailed vnto their children : for that , euery godly and faithfull person hath speciall respect to prouide , not onely for himselfe , but also for his Children & those that depend on him . Therefore are both the Wife and Children of the deceassed Friend to be tenderly loued , and all other thinges besides , that appertained vnto him : yea , the very Dogges and the Cattaile that belonged vnto him : and all this , through an inward affection of hearty goodwil borne vnto the late owner , and by the law and duetie of perfect Friendshippe : Howbeit not in such measure and proportion as the partie Friend himselfe being deceassed : but the exceeding great loue & vehement zeale of their late firme Amitie and stedfast coniunction liueth still in the breast of him that remayneth aliue , and sendeth foorth many sparkes of his vnfayned loue , wheresoeuer he beholdeth and is brought into godly remembraunce of his deceassed Frend , by his true and liuely Images , which be his Children left behinde .

Hereupon there groweth yet an other question , about that gift of Goodes , which Dauid bestowed on Ziba the seruant of Mephibosheth : which ( gift notwithstanding that he was afterward better enfourmed of the trueth of the matter , and of Ziba his treacherous infidelitie towarde his Maister ) : yet did he not wholly and entierly reuoke . For , the Goodes which in right belonged vnto Mephibosheth ( who was the Sonne of Ionathan , ) he gaue vnto Ziba : whereas he had afore , in remembraunce of his Friend Ionathan appoynted the same vnto this his Sonne , and had giuen commaundement that the same should be assigned and assured vnto him : thereby to shewe himselfe thankfull and myndfull of the firme Friendshippe betweene himselfe , and Ionathan , 2. Sam. 9. vers. 7. father of the sayd Mephibosheth . Yet Dauid being afterwards suttly beguiled and craftily deceiued by Ziba , reuoked his former gift made to Mephibosheth , and tooke away from him , 2. Sam. 16. vers. 4. all that he had afore bestowed vpon him .

Now , the question is this , whether this last fact of Dauid may bee defended : or how can hee any wayes bee excused , but that he dealt herein , directly and flatly against the lawes and endes of true Friendship ?

First and formost , when as the same Dauid might easilie haue espyed the falshood of Ziba , and how cunningly he had bene deceiued and circumuented by his treacherie and false tales : yet shewed hee not so much fauour and compassion vnto his deare Friendes Sonne , as either seuerely to punish and sharpelie reuenge so notable a villanie and fraudulent cosenage , wrought against him by his owne seruaunt : 2. Sam. 19. vers. 29. nor yet to restore vnto him all his Goodes againe .

Certes , in this case , ( as I thinke ) Dauid cannot at any hand bee excused , but that hee greatly offended and sinned , and that moe waies then one : to wit , first in respect of being a King : and secondly as being the professed and sworne Friende of Ionathan the father of this Mephibosheth .

In that , he was a King , his office and duetie had beene to haue punished and reuenged the open treacherie and manifest falshood of the Seruaunt against his Lord and Maister . And in that he was a Friend : his duetie had bene to haue relieued & protected the Sonne of his deceassed Friend , being shamefully abused and lewdly deceiued through the fraude of his owne Seruaunt , and pitifully despoyled of all his Goodes by him that was his Vassall . His office and duetie ( I saye ) had bene , in remembraunce of the great Friendshippe betweene him and Ionathan , to haue defended and supported his Sonne being oppressed and afflicted : and being well able , to haue restored him to his fathers inheritance .

But in that , Dauid neglected and omitted so to doe , surely therein he is worthy of great reprehension , and to be deemed and accoumpted as one vtterly vnmyndfull of his office and duetie . Furthermore to haue transgressed the Boundes , and to haue sinned against the lawes of true Friendship , yea and quight to haue forgotten both his promise and the benefites which he had afore receiued . Therefore this fact of Dauid is not by any that are professed Friendes to be imitated and followed , neither to be drawne into example .

If any man to excuse Dauid , will say : that because he had bound himself by an Oath , and had now alreadie giuen the same Goodes vnto Ziba , that therefore he could not lawfully call backe his promise : the answere hereunto is easilie shaped . For Dauid had afore giuen the very same Goodes vnto Mephibosheth : and therefore in that partition of them which hee graunted to bee equally made betweene them both , hee cleared not himselfe from the Conscience of his Oath before God . For , he sware also vnto Ziba , that he would giue vnto him all the whole Goodes of Mephibosheth , and not a moytie or portion of them onely . And yet he assigned vnto him but onely a part , and tooke an other part away from him . And therefore , euen in this same partition , Dauid brake his Oath , and therein is he manifestly culpable afore God , for taking his Diuine name in vaine .

To be short , there can no excuse bee pretended , nor any reason ( as I thinke ) alledged , whereby Dauid in this case can bee cleared either from the foule fault of breach of Friendship , or of his solemne Oath long afore sworne vnto Ionathan .

The second thing , that in the discussing of the Endes of Friendshippe , is brought into question , is of the Maner and Way , how and in what sorte , and how farre , by the lawes of Friendshippe , Friendes must doe one for an other . Summarily , such Maner , such Bounds , such Endes , such Limites and Markes must to the same bee appoynted , and so farre must mutuall curtesies among Friendes be enterchaungeably perfourmed , as that at no hand the Maiestie , Will , and glorie of God be any way hindered or in anywise dishonoured . For further then so , neither ought they to goe , neither is it in anywise lawfull for a Christian man further to presume .

For , although among vs men , that Friend is highly and dearely to be loued , vnto whom by Vowe and Oath wee haue most strictly bound our selues : yet is God more to bee loued , vnto whom we owe both our selues , and our Friends , and all things els that we haue : and in whose name and authoritie al the force , substaunce and effect of Friendship is founded and established . Gal. 2.14 . So did Paule loue Peter , but yet he loued the glorie of God more . So did Aristotle loue Plato , but yet ( as he him selfe saieth ) he loued the trueth more . And the very Heathen and Paynim people , being demaunded concerning the boundes of Friendship , and how farre one Friend were to deale and to doe for an other , could eloquently and pithily answer , euen as did Pericles , that they would both speak , doe , & goe for their Frend , but yet no further then to the Aultar , that is , no further then Religion and Conscience should warrant them . Their opinion therefore & their doctrine was this , that a man lawfully may doe for his Friend all the pleasure he possiblie can , sauing and forprising his conscience and obedience to the word of God : but no further . And herein truely saied they well . As also Aulus Gellius hath likewise noted .

For , Noct Attic. lib. 1. cap. 3. although we bee to hazard the losse of our owne state and wealth , yea and of our life also , for our Friendes sake ( neither ought this losse and daunger to be refused , Ioh. 15.13 . if we will bee true Friends in deede ) yet the glorie of God , and the eternall saluation of our Soule , ought more to bee esteemed and regarded then any cause of our Friend whatsoeuer it bee . And we neither may , neither ought to bee thought herein to faile , or to come shorte in the office and duetie of a faithfull Friend , if we denye , at our Friends request ( be it neuer so earnest ) to doe any thing that is vnlawfull and vniust , or against the law of God and Godlines : yea wee must rather doe the parte of a godly and Christian Friend , in shewing our selues readie rather to obey God then Man : and also to haue more care of our Friends saluation and Soule health , then of any worldly wealth or transitorie commoditie .

And let him ( whosoeuer he bee that requesteth vs to doe for him any vnlawfull act ) blame and accuse himselfe for asking : rather then vs for denying and for not obeying and feeding his humour . For , he it is which transgresseth and breaketh the true bounds of perfect and faithfull Friendshid , and not we .

Wee must not sticke many times to suffer our name & fame to bee vniustly reported and spoken of , among the vulgar sorte of People : but neuer must wee either for Friend or any man els , commit that which is filthie , vngodlie , fraudulent , vnhonest or wicked . Whereby it euidently appeareth , that that sentence of Marcus Tullius Cicero in his Booke of Friendship , and other Philosophers also , is erroneous , false , and vtterly to bee reiected : for they say : If the case so stande , or if the matter so fall out , that our Friends willes in vniust causes must bee furthered & holpen , whereon either dependeth their life and death , or their fame and credite : Wee may in such a case for their sakes digresse , swerue and wander somewhat out of the path of honestie , so that it be not in a matter extreemely villanous , or wherein vtter shame and reproach may grow . For there bee certaine boundes : how farre to wade in our Friends behalfe , and wherin a man in respect of Friendship is pardonable .

Wee both may , and also ought ( I say ) to gratifie and pleasure our Friend : but by committing sinne , or offending the Commaundements of God , to cast away both our Friend and our selues , we may not , nor ought not in any wise . Therefore maye wee not for our Friends cause , or at his request , either waste , spoyle , consume and set on fier Churches , Palaces and houses , neither ought we to warre and beare Armes against our Countrey , neither violently to assault or contemptuously abuse the Magistrate , neither any way iniuriously to hurt any priuate person . For Loue ( saieth the Apostle ) reioyceth not in iniquitie . 1 Cor. 13.6 .

Neither is it lawfull to lye for our friends sake , therby to helpe his cause , or to bring him out of any extremitie : albeit at some tyme , and in some cases , it is not forbidden vs in our Friendes cause to dissemble a matter , or to make semblaunce & countenaunce as though some things were true , which in deed are not so : such things I meane , as whereby neither God is dishonored , nor our Neighbour damnisted . An example whereof we haue in Ionathan , as appeareth 1. Sam. 20. vers. 29. 1. Sam. 20.29 .

So that , wee neither allowe the example and fact of Hushai the Archite , neither in any wise thinke it meete and lawfull to be imitated : who for that duetifull seruice that hee would seeme to doe vnto Dauid , and for that entier and loyall Friendship that he bore vnto him , circumuented and entrapped an other , 2. Sam. 16. vers. 16.17 18.19 . ( to wit , Absolon ) by craft and subtiltie . For , he lyed , and dissembled with Absolon , and therein hee greatly sinned , although hee was not onely aduised and admonished , but also requested and earnestly entreated by Dauid so to deale and so to doe . 2. Sam. 15.34 .

But in all these things we must diligently marke , and carefully respect not onely what our Friend requesteth at our handes to be done for him : but much rather to consider what beseemeth vs or any Christian man in duetie and Conscience to perfourme .

And thus much of Friendship , and of the Endes , Bounds and Circumstaunces thereof , briefly and summarily haue wee hitherto discoursed , vpon aduised consideration and diligent meditation of that faithfull Friendshippe that was betweene Dauid and Ionathan .

Laus Deo . FINIS . Tho: Newtonus , Cestreshyrins . Ad adyta , virtuti aditus .