Humor Out of Breath

ACTVS 1. Scena . 1. Enter Octauio Duke of Venice , Hippolito and Francisco his sonnes , Florimell his daughter : Hortensio and others attendants . Octa. SOnnes , hopefull buddes of fruitfull Italy , Hauing banisht war which like a prodigall Kept wastfull reuells with our subiects bloud : Since proude Anthonio our arch-enemy Is in his iourney towards th' vnderworld , Or houers in the shade of banishment ; Let vs in peace smile at our victory , And euery brest passe his opinion What pastime best becomes a conqueror . Fran. What sport but conquest for a conqueror , Then with our wounds vndrest , our steeds still reind , Branded with steele ere we wipe off the bloud Of conquerd foes , le ts with our shriller bugles Summon the surly Landlord of the forrest , The Kingly Lyon to a bloudy parle , Combat the Hart , the Leopard or the Bore , In single and aduenturous hardyment : The spirit of mirth in manly action rests , Hauing queld men le ts now go conquer beasts . Oct. Manly resolu'd ; Hippolitoes aduise . Hip. Rather like souldiers , and Octauioes sonnes , Let s throw a generall challenge through the world , For a proud turney , at the which our selues Consorted with a hundred of our knights , Accoutred like so many Gods of warre , Will keepe the lists gainst all aduenturers , Which like the suns light figurd in a star , Should be a briefe Epitome of war . Oct. Noble and royall , your opinion daughter . Flo. Faith I shall anger souldiers , I woulde poure Spirit of life , Aurum Potabile Into the iawes of chap-falne schollership , That haue since amorous Quid was exild , Lyen in a swowne , y aue many holds for war , I would once view a garrison for witte : T were heauenly sport to see a traine of schollers Like old traind soldiers skirmish in the schooles , Trauerse their Ergoes and discharge their iests Like peales of small-shot , were this motion granted My selfe would be free woman of their hall , And sit as sister at their festiuall . Oct Haue we not Padua Flo. Yes , but the commaunders Deale with our graduates , as the generall Doth with his souldier , giues him place for fauoure , Not for deseruing , looke intoo 't your selfe , You haue Courts for tennis , and me thinkes t' were meet , Learning should not stand balling in the street For want of houseroome : oh t is much vnfit Courtiers should be all pleasure and small wit . Oct. All that you speake is but what we command Flo. But Officers fother cannot vnderstand Their Lords at first : wert not a gallant sight , To see wits army royall come from fight ? Some crownd with gold , others with wreath of bayes , And whilst they hold their solemn holydaies , Musick should like a louer court the skies , And from the world wrest ringing plaudities . Hip. My sister would make a rare beggar . Fra.

True , shee 's parcell Poet , parcell fidler already , and they commonly sing three parts in one .

Oct. Wrong neither art nor musicke , they are twins Borne and begot in heate , your thought of both . Flo. I thinke my Lord that musick is diuine , Whose sacred straines haue power to combine The soule and body ; and it reason beares , For it is said that the Celestiall spheres , Dance to Apolloes lyre whose sprightly fires Haue tamd rude beasts and charmd mens wild desires : The author was immortall , the first strings , Made by a King , therefore an art for Kings : The world 's a body , euery liberall art A needfull member , musick the soule and hart . Oct. Well for hir sex hath Florimell discourse Of heauenly musicke , and since all conclude It is an art diuine , we were too rude Should we reiect it , musick , I take great pride , To heare soft musick and thy shrill voice chide . Flo. To please your grace , though J want voice and skill , I le shew my selfe obedient to your will . sing . Fra. This would haue done rare at a schollers window , How do you like it father ? Oct. Highly my boies , I rellish all delight , For when the fiery spirit of hot youth Kept house within me , I was all delight : Then could I take my loue , no loue more fayre By the smooth hand , and gazing in loues ayre Tell her her beauty beautifide the skie , And that the sunne stole lustre from her eye . Fra.

I do admire to heare my princely father thus merrilie discourse of trifling loue .

Oct. Nay more my boyes , when J was at your yeares , I went a pilgrimage through Italie , to find the shrine of some loue-hallowed saynt . Deuote to beauty , I would pray for loue , Desiring beauty I would sue for loue , Admiring beauty I would serue for loue : Pray , sue , and serue , till beauty graunted loue . If she denyd me , I would sweare she graunted , Jf she did sweare that she could neuer loue me , Then would I sweare she could not chuse but loue me : Let her sweare nere so much , still haue I sworne , Till she had said , I should not be forsworne . Flo. I marry brothers , here was cunning loue , Learne like good schollers , hee le make you wise in loue : He was a man in loue , were you such men , Then were you men indeed , but boyes till then . Fr. To please my Father , i le inquest of beauty , And neuer make returne till I haue found , A loue so faire , so rich , so honorable , As fits the honor of Octauioes sonnes . Hip. The like ( you pleasd ) vowes young Hippolito . Oct. Doe boyes , and I will teach you how to chuse them . Elect not mongst whole troupes of Courtly dames , For amongst many , some must needs be ill : The seld seene Phoenix euer sits alone , Ioue courted Danae when she was alone : Alone my boyes , that is the onely way , Ladies yeeld that alone , they els say nay . Flo. An expert souldier ; how shall they choose them Father ? Oct. If her bright eye dim not the Diamond , Say it is bright , but brighter iems delight you , Jf that her breath do not perfume the ayre ; Say it is sweet , but sweeter sweets content you . Jf that her cheeke compared to the Lilly , Make not the Lilly black with whiter whitenesse ; Say it is Lilly white , but black to white , When your choise white must haue such high exceeds . Flo. Father you do exceed things possible , Faith say how many Ladyes haue you seene , Much fayrer then my selfe , in all your trauayle ? Oct. Should the Crow teach me , then no Lady fayrer , If iudgement tell me , then a many fayrer : Thou art myne owne , J must thinke well of thee , Yet Florimella many doe excell thee . Flo. Should the Crow teache , I am not all Crowblacke . Though iudgement ; J not all perfection black , Though you haue seene Ladyes that dim the day , Yet will J thinke my selfe as fayre as they . Oct. Doe Florimella , and i le one day get , A husband for thee that shall thinke thee fayre . Flo. And tyme ifaith , that prety sport would be , Wiue it for them , you shall not husband me . Oct. Yet you will take my counsell in your choise . Flo. Yes , if I had not yeares ynough to choose , Would you direct me as you doe your sonnes ? With daughter take a man with such a nose , With such an eye , with such a colour beard , Thus big , thus tall , with all his teeth afore ; Thus lipt , thus legd , thus handsome , thus apparrelld , Were not this pittifull ! o pittifull : Now by the soule of soule-commanding loue , I will not stoope to such obedience , I must be bid to blush when I am kist , Bid my loue welcome , and I thanke you sir , With no indeed , I know not what loue is , I neuer heard so much of loue before , I pray take heede , nay fie you goe too far , With such a rabble of prescriptions , As neuer mayd of a Conceiuing spirit , Will follow them , yet brothers goe you on , Take you good counsell , Florimell will none . Exit . Oct. I daughter ? are you so experienced ? An elder woman might haue spoken lesse , Yet by your leaue mynion , i le watch you so , Your I shall still be gouernd by my no . But come my sonnes take patterne of great Ioue , Early i th' morning suit your selues for loue . Exeunt . Enter Anthonio Duke of Mantua , Hermia and Lucida his daughters , they with angels and he with a net . Ant. Go daughters with your Angels to the brooke , And see if any siluer-coated fish , Will nibble at your worme-emboweld hooks : Deceiue the watry subiects , yet the name Of foule deceit me thinks should fray them from you , Alack , alack , I cannot blame the world , That in the world there is so much deceipt ; When this poore simple trade must vse deceipt . But with what conscience can J make this net , Within whose meshes all are caught that come : They cousen one at once , this cousens many , I will vndoo 't it shall not cousen any . But daughters go practise that little sinne , I le mend this great fault ere the fault begin . O cousening fortune how hast thou deceiu'd me , Turning me out a doores to banishment , And made another Lord of Mantua . I that was Lord now slaue to misery . Her . Take comfort yet deare father . Ant Comfort ? no : My brest 's turnd prison , my proude iaylor woe , Locks out all comfort : wher s your valiant brother ? Her . All discontent like to a wounded lyon He forrages the woods , daring proude fortune At her best weapon , he accounts this smart , As a slight hurt , but far off from the hart . Anth. How holds his humour ? Luc. The same fashion still : But somwhat sadder-colourd death may end But neuer change him , see our words haue raisd him . Enter Aspero . Anth.

Fitly applide for a walks like a ghost . Why how now sonne ?

Asp. Peace . Her . Brother . Asp. Good now peace , Wake me not as you loue me . Luc. What a sleepe ? Asp.

I , in a most sweet sleepe , blisters o' your tongues for waking me .

Anth. Thou forgettest thy selfe . Asp.

J should not be a Courtier els , mee thought J was at a strange wedding ?

Anth. Prithee what wedding ? Asp. Of a young Lawyer and old Madam Conscience . Anth. I scarce beleeue that . Asp.

Nor J neither , because it was a dreame , but mee thought the yong man doted on the old woman exceedingly .

Anth. That was miraculous ! did they liue together ? Asp.

In the country they did , and agreed passing well , all the long vacation , and but for two things he would haue carried her vp to the terme with him .

Ant. What things were those ? Asp.

One was , because her gowne was of the old fashion , the other was cause he would not haue her by when he tooke fees .

Ant. His reason for that ? Asp.

For feare if a bribe had bin offered , she being by he shold haue had the bad conscience to take it .

Anth. His wife and he liued together . Asp.

Conscience and the Lawyer , as louingly as men and their wiues do , one flesh but neither medle nor make one with another

Ant. Man and wife part , that s strange ! Asp.

O lord sit , profit can part the soule and the body , and why not man and wife , now you haue had my dreame father , let me vnderstand yours .

Anth. How can he dreame , that neuer sleeps my sonne ? Asp.

O best of all : why , your whole world doth nothing but dreame , your machiauell he dreames of state , deposing kings , grounding new monarchies : the louer hee dreames of kisses , amorous embraces : the newe-married wife dreames , that rid of her young husband she hugs her old loue , and likes her dreame well ynough too : the Country gentle woman dreams that when her first husband 's dead , she marries a knight , and the name of Lady sticks so in her mind , that shee s neuer at hearts-ease till she get her husband dub'd ; the Captaine , he dreames of oppressing the souldiers , deuising stratagens , to keep his dreame , and that dreame wakes in the pate of Octauio your Arch-enemy , who is not content to hurle vs into the whirlepoole of banishment , but binds waights at our heeles leaden pouerty , to sinke vs to the very depth that we should neuer rise againe .

Her . Then since all dreame , let vs dreame of reuenge . Asp.

I marry sister , that were a dreame worth dreaming , and i le sleepe out my braines but i le compasse it .

Anth. Pretty content ; we kill our foes in dreames . Asp. Vds foot , i le doe it waking then . Anth. Aspero . Asp. At Counsell table . Anth. Heare me . Asp. In his Dutches armes , t were base to go disguisd , No , my reuenge shall weare an open brow ; J will not play the coward , kill him first And send my challenge after ; i le make knowne My name , and cause of comming , if I thought Griefe like a painter had so spoyl'd my visage He could not know me , on my breast i de write How ere I am disfigured through woe , J am the thing was made for Aspero . Speake not , I am as constant as the Center , Some fortune good or bad doth beckon me , And I will run , bitter reuenge tasts sweete , Jf here on earth farewell , in heauen wee le meete . Attendance sirra , your low Commedie , Craues but few Actors , wee le breake company . Anth. As many blessings as the sea hath sands Exit cum Puero Attend thee in thine honorable iourney : Come pretty maides we haue not wrought to day , Or fish , or fast , our neede must needs obey . Exeunt . Enter Hippolito , Francisco , Florimell , and Page meeting them . Fr. Now sirra what haue you been about ? Page . About my liuing sit . Hip. What s that ? feeding ? Pa. No sir , looking into the vnderofficers about the Court . Hip. Canst get any liuing out of them ? Pa.

I sir , my betters get good liuings out of officers , and why not I ? but to be plaine , I haue bin seeking your good Lordship .

Fr.

But your boyship hath so sought vs , that wee haue found you .

Page . Will you sell your findings my Lord ? Hip. They are scarce worth giuing . Flo.

Yes , a boxe to keepe them in , for feare you loose them againe .

Pa.

And I were a man as I am no woman , i d'e pepper your box for that ieast .

Flo. You ieast . Pa. In earnest law I would Madam . Fr. Well sir , no more , here comes our royall Father . Enter Octauio , Hortensio , Flamineo , &c. Oct. How now my boyes ? prouided for your iourney ? Beauty conduct you : what , attyrd like shepheards ? I thought t' haue seene you mounted on your steeds , Whose fiery stomackes from their nostrills breath The smoke of courage , and whose wanton mouthes Do proudely play vpon their yron bits : And you in stead of these poore weeds in robes , Richer then that which Ariadne wroughte , Or Cytharaes aery-mouing vestment . Thus should you seeme like louers suited thus , y 'oude draw faire Ladies harts into their eies , And strike the world dead with astonishment . Fr. Father such cost doth passe your sons reuenues We take example from immortall Ioue , Who like a shepheard would repaire to loue . Oct. And gentle loue conduct you both my sonnes , Daughter go bring them onward in their way , Were not we cald back by important busines , We would not leaue you thus : Hortensio Is my disguise prepard , for J vnknowne Will see how they behaue themselues in loue . Hort. T is done my Lord . Oct. Once more my boyes adieu : He sends you forth that meanes to follow you . Exit . Flo , Now brothers you must amongst these wenches , Faith for a wager which shall get the fairest ? Fr. I le gage a 100. crownes mine proues the fairest . Hip. A match , i le venter twice so much of mine . Flo.

And i le lay gainst you both , that both your loues Get them when you can where you can , or how you can , shall not be able to compare with me in beauty .

Fran. That wager i le take for t is surely won . Hip. Las thou art but a star to beauties sun . Flo. Star me no stars , go you and stare for loue , I le stay at home , and with my homely beauty Purchase a loue , shall thinke my looks as faire , As those faire loues that you shall fetch so far ; But take your course , fate send you both faire lucke . Fr. How if 't be fowle ? Flo.

Nay if t be forked , you must beare it off with head and shoulders .

Fr. Oh stale , that ieast runs o th' lees . Flo.

You must consider t is drawne out of the bottome of my witte .

Fr. O shallow wit , at the bottome so soone . Flo. Deepe ynough to lay you in the mire . Page . Or els t is shallow indeede , for they are foundred already , but I must play dun , and draw them all out o' th mire , What s a clock my Lord ? Flo. Which of them dost aske ? thou seest they are two . Pag. What two are they Madam ? Flo. Why two fooles . Fr.

Is it not past two , doth it not come somewhat neere three sister :

Page .

Shew perryall and tak 't , but come my Lord you haue stood fooling long ynough , will you about your busines in good earnest ?

Fra. Indeed we will . Flo.

And they are deeds you must trust too , for women will respect your words but slitely without deeds .

Page .

Why , are women called Angells but because they delight in good deeds , and loue heauen , but that it will not be won without them .

Fr. They shall haue deeds . Flo. Brother , and good deeds too : They are tongues that men must speake with when they woo . Hip. That tongue wee l practise , sister to loue we leaue you . Exeunt brothers . Flo. Louers take heed least cunning loue deceiue you . Exit with Page . Finis actus primi .

ACTVS SECVNDVS . Enter Octauio disguised , Hortensio Flamineo . Oct. NO more ; thus suted i le attend my sonnes , Impute it not to any ruffian vaine , But to a fathers wakefull prouidence , Louers like bees are priuiledgd to tast , All buds of beauty : should they chance to light Vpon some worthles weed i le hinder it : The eies of youth will now and then dwell there , Whereas they should not glance , this doubt I feare . Fla. And well aduisd my liege should they incline To loue not fitting their estates and births , You with your present counsell may preuent them . Oct. That s my intent , and further in my absence I leaue my land and daughter to thy charge , The girle is wanton , if she gad abroad Restraine her , bound her in hir chamber dore ; My word 's thy warrant , let her know so much : Farewell , at home I leaue my feare with thee And follow doubt abroad . Hor. I le carefull be . Exeunt . Oct.

Now to my busines , I haue a strange habit , and I must cut out an humour sutable to it , and humours are pickt so neere the bone , a man can scarce get humour ynough to giue a flea his breakfast , but I am a stale ruffian , my habit is braue , and so shall my humor be , and here comes one to giue me earnest of it .

Enter Aspero and his boy . Asp. Send him a letter that I come to kill him . Boy . T were great valor but little pollicy my Lord . Asp. How long haue you bin a matchiauilian boy ? Boy . Euer since I practisd to play the knaue my Lord , Asp. Then policy and knauery are somewhat a kin . Boy .

As neere , as penury and gentry , a degree and half remou'de no more .

Asp. How came in the kindred twixt gentry and penury ? Oct. Shall I tell you sir . Asp. First tell me what thou art ? Oct.

Lyme and haire : playster of Paris , kneaded together with rye dowe and goats milke , I am of a hot constitution , wonnot freeze .

Asp. Thy profession . Oct. A foole or a knaue choose you which . Boy . Then thou art fit for any gentlemans company . Oct.

True boye , for your sweete foole and your fine knaue are like a paire of vpright shooes , that gentlemen weare so long now of one foote , then of another , till they leaue them neuer a good soale .

Asp.

That makes your foole & your knaue haue such bad soales ; but what dost thou seeke ?

Oct. Mine owne vndoing sir , seruice . Asp.

Indeed seruice is like the common law , it vndoes any one that followes it long , canst describe seruice ?

Oct.

Yes , t is a vacant place , fild vp with a compleate knaue , a miserable pandar , or an absolute beggar .

Asp. your opinion boy . Boy . I say a seruingman is an Antecedent . Oct. Because he sits before a Cloakebag . Boy .

He is likewise a nominatiue Case , and goes before his mistrisse .

Oct.

That s when the verbe he goes before his mistrisse and he can agree togither .

Boy . If not , he turnes Accusative and followes his master . Asp. Woot follow me fellow . Oct. To a tauerne , and thou woot pay for my ordenary . Asp. My businesse is more serious , thou dost not know me . Oct. Nor my selfe neither so long as I haue maintenance . Asp.

Didst neuer heare of the wars betwixt Venice and Mantua .

Oct. I cut some few of the Mantuans throates . Asp. And wert not a knaue for 't . Oct.

No , J was a Venetian commander , a great man : the reason of this question .

Asp. Dost know the Duke of Venice ? Oct. I am his right hand . Asp. Woot do me a message to him . Oct. What is 't ? Asp.

Tell him J hate him , my name 's Aspero , has banisht my father , vsurps his Dukedome , and I come to be reuengd .

Oct. Anthonioes sonne ? vesfoot hast any gold . Asp. Thy reason . Oct

Shalt be reuengd , giue me money , i le be thy snaile & score out a siluer path to his confusion .

Asp.

No , my reuenge shall be like my fathers wrongs in Aperto lend me any honest aide .

Oct.

Pax of honesty , it goes a begging vpon crutches , and can get reliefe out of few but schollers , I shall not kill him ?

Asp. I de be thy death first . Oct. Yet you say you hate him . Asp. Equall with my shame . Oct. Make him chew a bullet then . Asp. No , though my state with pouerty be tainted , Mine acts and honor shall liue still acquainted . Oct. True moulded honor I admire the temper Of thy mild patience , that not all the wrongs J layd vpon thee can enforce thy spleene To fowle requitall , had thy comming tane Any base leuell , it had cost thy life , But beeing free and full of honour liue , Thy vertues teach me honor freely goe , A secret friends worse then an open for : You are too honest for my attendance , farewell sir . Asp. And thou too knauish for my employment . But here comes more company . Enter Florimell and Page . Flo. Boy , let your attendance waite further of , Vnder this shade J meane to take a sleepe . Pa. And may you madam like a souldier sleepe . Flo. How boy in alarums . Pag.

No Ladye but in armes , and you had neede of them too , for see the enemy comes downe , shall I sound a parlee ?

Flo. Peace wag . Pa Peace , O coward , offer peace and but two to two of them . Flo. Boy dost know what gentleman it is ? Pa. Gentle madam no , but he is a man . Flo. Beleeue me boy he is a proper man . Pa.

Man is a proper name to a man , and so he may be a proper man .

Flo. I loue him hee s a very proper man . Pa,

She loues him for his properties , and indeede many women loue men only to make properties of them .

Flo. Pray gentleman if no more , tell mee where you were born . Asp.

Faire virgine if so much , no where some where any where , where you would haue me .

Flo. Faith I would haue it . Asp. Marry and you shall haue it Ladie . Flo. What shall J haue sir . Asp. Why a kisse . Flo.

Nothing els : we Courtiers count them trifles , not woorth taking .

Asp. Why then bestow one of mee i le take it most thankfully . Flo.

I wil not stand with you for a trifle , sir pray where were you borne ?

Asp. In Italy , but neuer yet in Venice . Flo. You may in Venice , gentle sir adieu . Exit . Asp. Gentle Lady thrice as much to you . Pa Farewell sweet heart . Exit . Boy . God a mercy bagpudding . Asp. You may in Venice gentle sir adieu ? this begets wonder . Boy . Y are not wise then , what do you take her for ? Asp. Some great woman . Boy .

Some woman great with child , be ruld , shee s a pynk board her .

Asp. But how ? the meanes . Boy .

Make but a shotte of flattery at hir broad side , and shee le strike saile presently .

Asp. Flattery ? Boy .

I flattery , women are like fidlers , speake them faire thei le play of any instrument .

Asp. I , that they can play of , Boy . Shee s a botcher cannot play a little of all . Asp.

And to common that wil play too much of any , but come i le vse meanes to get her .

Boy . Nay you must first haue meanes to giue her . Asp.

Why in the course of schollership , the genitiue Case goes before the Datiue .

Boy .

The Grammarians are fooles that plac'de them so ; for in Rerum Natura , the Datiue goes before the genetiue , you must alwayes giue before you can get , louers are fooles , and fooles must be liberall .

Asp. Will not women respect a man for his good parts ? Boy .

yes , some few ; but all for his good guiftes , a gentleman with his good guifts sit at the vpper end of the table on a chayre and a cushion , when a scholler with his good partes will be gladde of a ioynd stoole in the Lobby with the Chambermaids .

Asp.

I will haue good guifts & shew my selfe liberall to , though I beg for 't .

Boy .

I thinke that will be the end , for penury has tane a leafe of your pocket to keep Court in this Christmasse .

Asp. Well , how so ere , shee 's faire and courteous , And courteous faire , is a faire guift in Ladies : She may bee well discended , if shee be , Shee 's fit for loue , and why not then for me . Exeunt . Boy .

And you be not fitted in Venice t is straunge , for t is counted the best flesh shambles in Italie : but heer 's no notable coward , that hauing suffered wrong by a man , seeks to right himselfe of a woman .

Exit . Enter Hippolito Francisco like shepheards , Octauio in disguise . Oct.

Looke you sir , I am like an irish beggar , and an English bur , will sticke close where I finde a good nap , I must and will dwell with you .

Fr. What canst do : Oct.

Still Aquauitæ , stampe Crabs , and make mustard , I can do as much as all the men you keepe .

Fra. Prithee what ? Oct.

Why vndo you , and twenty could do no more , but busines , come my wits grow rusty for imployment .

Fr. Canst keepe counsell ? Oct. My mother was a midwife . Hip. Hast any skill in Loue ? Oct.

I am one of Cupids agents , haue Ouids ars amandi ad vngues , know causam and can apply remedium , and minister effectum to a haire , but why do you aske ? haue you trauerst an action in loues spirituall court ?

Fra. Not to dissemble , we haue . Oct.

And without dissembling you le neuer come out of it , but tell me true , are you in loue already ? or have you the desire to bee in loue

Fra. Indeed I am in loue to be in loue . Hip. And I desire to liue in fond desire , And yet I doubt to touch blind fancies fier . Oct. T is good to doubt , but t is not good to feare , Yet still to doubt , will at the lest proue feare ; Doubt loue , t is good , but t is not good to feare it , Loue hurts them most , that least of all come neere it . Fr. Then to doubt loue is the next way to loue . Oct. Doubtles it is if you misdoubt not loue . Hip. Doubt and misdoubt ? what difference is there here ? Oct. Yes , much : when men misdoubt , t is sayd they feare . Fra. But is it good in loue to be in doubt ? Oct. No not in loue , doubt then is iealousie : T is good to doubt before you be in loue , Doubt counsells , how to shun loues misery . Fra. Your doubtfull counsell counsells vs to loue . Oct. To equall loue , I like experience speake . Hip. Experiencd louer , you haue spoken well . Oct. Experience wanting louers , truth I tell , Yong wits be wife , in loue liue constant still , You need nor doubt good hap not misdoubt ill . Enter Lucida and Hermonia with Angles .

And see your discourse has coniurd vp beauty in the likenesse of two countrimaides , but you shall not come in the circles of their armes if J can keepe you out .

Fra. These are too meane for loue , brother le ts leaue them . Oct. What ? speechles ? will you make dumbe virgins of them ? Hip. Oh we are sonnes of a great father . Oct.

So is the sun of heauen , yet hee smiles on the bramble aswell as the Lilly , kisses the checke of a beggar as louingly as a gentlewoman , and t is good to imitate , him t is good .

Her . Say sister , had we not fine sport to day ? Luc. We had , if death may be accounted play . Her . Why t is accounted pleasure to kill fish . Luc. A pleasure nothing pleasant to the fish . Her . Yet fishes were created to be kild . Luc. Cruell creation then to haue liues spild . Her . Their bodies being food , maintaine our breath . Luc. What bodies then haue we to liue by death ? Her . Come , come , you vainely argue , it is good . Luc. What is it good to kill ? oh god oh god ? Her . If it be sin , then you your self 's a sinner . Luc. I thank proud fortune for t , my woes beginner . Oct.

Foot are yee not ashamd to stand by like idle ciphers , & such places of account voyde ? and they had bin rich offices and you poore Courtiers , you would haue bin in them in halfe the time .

Fra. Though against stomack . — Oct. Nothing against stomack and you loue me . Hip. Faire maids if so you be you are well met . Her . Shepheards or be what els you are well met . Fra. T is well , if that well met we be to you . Luc. If not to vs you are vnto your selues . Hip. We did not meet , you saw vs come togither . Her . What ere we saw , you yet ere you came hither . Fr. We did , we met in kindred , we are brothers . Luc. So shepheards we did meet for we are sisters . Hip. Then sisters , let vs brothers husbands be . Her . So brothers without our leaues you well may be . Fr. Say we desire to husband it with you . Luc. Know we desire no husbands such as you . Hip. A shepheard is an honest trade of life . Her . Yet honest shepheard has with honest trade some strife . Hip. He seldome sweares but by his honesty . Her . So honest men do too aswell as he . Fr. But will you trust a shepheard when he vowes , Luc. No neuer , if his oath be that he loues . Hip. Yet if I sweare , that needs must be mine oath , Her . Sweare not , for we are misbeleeuers both . Fr. Let vs perswade you to beleeue we loue you . Luc. First we intreat you giue vs time to proue you . Hip. Take time , meane time wee le praise yee to our powers . Her . Oh time , sometime shepheards haue idle howers . Fra. I le say thy cheek no naturall beauty lacks , Luc. Good , if it had bin spoke behind our backs . Hip. I le say this is the heauen of heauenly graces . Her . O heauen , how they can flatters to our faces . Exeunt . Fr. Brother the last is fayrest in my eie . Hip. I but the first brother is first in beauty . Fr. First in your choice , but not in beauty sir . Oct.

Come yee so neere as choice : then t is time for mee to stop for feare the musick run too far out of tune , how now gallants ? in dumps .

Fr. No , but in loue . Oct. That s a dumpe , loues nothing but an Jtalian dumpe or a French brawle . Hip. Me thinkes t is sweeter musicke . Oct.

And t were in tune I confesse it , but you take your parts too low , you are trebble Courtiers , and will neuer agree with these Country Mynnikins , the musicke s too base , neuer meddle in 't .

Fra. Peace doatard , peace , thy sight of loue is done , Thou canst not see the glory of loues sunne . Spent age with frosty clowds thy sight doth dim , That thou art blind to see and apt to sin . Oct. Is it accounted sin to speake the truth . Hip. And worse , when age spits poyson against youth . Oct. They do not fit your callings , let them go . Fr. Yet they are faire : we loue , thou art loues foe . Oct. J am your friend , and wish you from this loue . Hip.

Canst thou heaue hills ? then thou my thoughts maist moue . but neuer els .

Oct. Neuer ! Fr. No neuer . Oct. Stay . Hip. We are bound for loue . Oct. Hate . Fra. Hinder not our way . Exeunt brothers . Oct. J boyes ? will Eagles Eglets turne to bastards . Then must J change my vaine , and once more proue , To teach you how to hate as well as loue . Exit . Finis actus Secundi .

ACTVS TERTIVS . Enter Page and Florimell . Pa.

SWeet hony candy madam , if it be no forfeit to tell tales out of Cupids free schoole , tell what proficient your louer Aspero proues .

Flo.

Now so loue helpe me lot , a passing weake one and verye vnready .

Pag.

The better , for women would haue their louers vnreadye to choose .

Flo. Now ready you are to play the knaue ? but to Aspero Pa.

I do not thinke but ther s good musick in him , your tongue harps so much vpon his name .

Flo. J shall neuer forget him . Pa. I faith Lady then I know what J know . Flo. What do you know I prey ? Pa.

Marry that if you neuer forget him , you shall euer remember him , was he neuer in your chamber .

Fio.

Yes , but he shewed himselfe the strangest foole : And by my troth loe . J am sorry for 't to , J had as good an appetite to maintaine discourse ; but here a comes , if euer I choose a man by the fulnesse of his Calfe , or a cock by the crowing , looke and the bashfull foole do not blush already .

Pa. You may do well to kisse him , and make him bold Madam . Pa Boy , go know what strange gentleman that is . Asp.

Slid what a strange Lady 's this madam though I seeme a stranger to you , J lay with one last night that 's well acquainted with you .

Flo. Acquainted with me ? Asp.

And knowes you , and loues you , and you loue him , & haue bestowed kind fauours of him to .

Flo. I bestow fauors ? what fauours ? Asp.

Though t were but a triffle he tooke it as kindly as some would haue done a kisse .

Flo.

Lord what a while this iest has bin a brooding ? and it proues but addle too now it is hatched .

Asp.

T is a pig of your owne sow madam , and I hope your wit will bestow the nursing of it .

Flo.

So it had need , I thinke t is like to haue but a drie nurse of yours .

Pa.

O drie ieast , all the wit in your head will scarce make sippits in 't , what a ground ? and such a faire landing place ? get a shore , or be ranke amongst fooles for euer .

Flo.

And faith i st not pitty such a proper man should keep company with a foole .

Asp. I keepe company with none but you Lady . Flo. You keepe mine against my will . Asp.

So do I the fooles I protest ; but take away yours , i le soone shift away the fooles .

Pag.

I haue not seene a foole so handsomely shifted in Venice .

Asp. But come , shall the foole and you bee friends ? Flo. The foole and J ? y' are too familiar . Asp. Why , J hope a foole may be a Ladies familiar at all times . Flo. Come y' are too saucy . Asp. Indeed t is a fooles part of Ioue to be in the sauce afore my Lady ; otherwise I am neither foole nor saucy . Flo. Not , proude sir ? Asp.

Not , coy Lady ; come why should your tongue make so many false fiers that neuer come from your heart : you loue me , I know you loue me , your spirit , your looke , your countenance bewrayes it .

Flo. You ieast . Asp.

Jn earnest you do , and you shall know 't in earnest too , lend me this iewell .

Flo. Iewell ? away you sharking companion . Asp. How ? Flo.

Wandring strauagant , that like a droane flies humming from one land to another .

Pa. Slight and thou hast any wit , now shew her thy sting . Flo. And lightst vpon euery dayry maid and kitchen-wench . Asp. And now and then on a Ladies lip as — Flo.

You did of mine you would say , and J am hart sory you can say it , and when by your buzzing flattery , you haue suckt the smallest fauour from them , you presently make wing for another .

Asp. Marry buz . Flo.

Double the zard and take the whole meaning for your labour .

Pa. The buzzards wit 's not so bald yet I tro . Asp. A word in your eare , madam the buzzard will anger you . Flo. With staying you do . Asp. With going I shall . Flo. Away . Asp.

I away , neuer intreat , t is too late , if you send after me , I wil not come back , if you write to me , I will not answer , drowne your eyes in teares , I will not wipe them , breake your heart with sighes , J will not pitty you : neuer looke , signes cannot moue me , if you speake , t is too late , if you intreate , t is bootles , if you hang vpon me , t is needlesse , I offred loue & you scornd it , my absence will be your death , and I am proud on t'

Exit . Flo. Js he gon boy ? Pa. Yes faith Madam . Flo. Cleane out of sight ? Pag.

And out of mind to , or els you haue not the mind of a true woman .

Flo.

Thou readst a false comment boy , call him againe ; yet doe not , my heart shall breake ere it bend .

Pa.

Or els it holdes not the true temper of woman-hood , but faith tell me Madam , do you loue him ?

Flo.

As a Welchman doth toasted cheese , I cannot dine without him , hee 's my pillow I cannot sleep quietly without him ; my rest , I cannot liue without him .

Pa. O that he knew it Lady . Flo. He does , he would neuer haue left me els , he does Pa.

You calld him foole , but me thinks he prooues a physitian , has found the disease of your liuer , by the complexion of your lookes , but see he returnes .

Enter Aspero meditating . Flo.

And now me thinks J loath him more then I lou'd him ; goe run for Hortensio my guardian , bid him come armd , thet's intent of treason tell him .

Pa.

My Lady cannot choose but dance well , shee s so full of prety changes .

Exit . Flo.

I wonder you dare come in my sight , considering the wrong you did me .

Asp.

I came I confesse , but with no intent to see you J protest , and that shall be manifested by the shortnes of my stay .

Flo.

T is too long and t were shorter then t is , will he not court me ? not ? nor speak to me neither ? nay neuer ask pardon , t is to late , we shal ha' you come to my window one of these mornings with musicke , but doe not , my patience is to much out of tune , out of my sight I hate thee , worse then I loath painting , I hate thee , out of my sight .

Asp.

Inough , will you be a quiet woman yet ? will you , speake afore my resolue take strength ? will you , do but say you are sorry I aske no mends but a kisse , kindly , come : shall I ha t'e ?

Flo. I le kisse a toad first . Asp.

You will , remember this another time , a toade you will : J know thou lou'st me , and J see the pride of thy humour ; I doe , and thou shalt know I doe ; halfe an hower hence wee shall haue you weeping on your knees , with O my Aspero would I had died when I reiected thee , but doe , weepe till J pitty thee ; a tooad ! i le make thee creepe on thy knees for a kisse .

Flo. you will . Asp. Thy bare knees , J will , and goe without it to . Flo. Out humourd ? O I would sell my part of immortality . Asp. But to touch my hand , thou wouldst , I know thou woldst , Flo.

O how spleene swells mee ? helpe Hortensio , creepe a my knees ? Hortensio .

Enter Hortensio with his man Assistance . Hort.

How fares my beautious charge ? weeping Lady ? the law shall fetch red water from his veynes that hath drawne bloud of your eies , is this the traytor ?

Asp. Traytor ? in thy disloyall throte thou liest . Pa. O monstrous , a wishes you choakt my Lord . Hort. How ! choakt ? Pa.

I choakt ? for a wishes the traytor in your throate , and hee 's a very small traytor that is not able to choake a wiser man then your Lordship .

Hort. Downe with him . Pa. I , downe with him , if he stick in your throat , and spare not . Flo.

Do not kill him , though hee deserues death yet doe not kill him , onely disweapon him ; so .

Hor. But madam . Flo.

I will not heare him , keepe him ; but keepe him safe on your liues , if he get away or miscarry in prison : as I am heire of Venice i le haue your heads for 't . they bind

Hort. I warne you madam , if yrons will hold him . him . Flo.

Fie , fie , with a cord ? here , bind him with my scarfe , that wil hold , and yet stand away , I le doo 't my selfe , I cannot trust him with you , least you should let him sometime scape free : besides , you cannot vse him according to the quality of his offence , and because i le glory in his bondage my chamber shall bee his prison , let him haue neither light meat nor drinke , but what J prouide him my selfe .

Hort. Your will 's a law , we obey it madam . Asp. She knowes me sure ; well , though my ioyes be thrall , My comforts this , a speedy death ends all . Exit with Hort. and Ass. Flo. Oh you are not gone then . Page .

Heer 's a newe kinde of courting , neuer seene before J thinke .

Flo. He would anger me . Pa. Nay you take a course , to anger him first J thinke . Flo.

Should J haue let him go , ( as I could no other way detaine him in modesty ) and he had set his loue on some other , t' would haue fretted my hart strings a sunder .

Pa. Why did you set him so light then ? Flo. Not for any hate , but in pride of my humour . Page .

Why did you commaund him close prisoner to your chamber .

Flo.

That I may feede mine eie with the sight of him , and be sure no other beauty can rob me of his company : I will ha 't all , I will not loose an ynch of him : And in this , I but imitate our Italian dames , who cause their friends to clap their iealous husbands in prison , that if they haue occasion to vse them within fortie weekes and a day , they may surely know where to find them .

Exit . Pa.

If I had any knauēry in mee , as J am all honesty , I could make a notable sceane of mirth betwixt these two Amorists .

Enter Enter Antonio with a net . Anth. Early sorrow , art got vp so soone ? What ? ere the Sun ascendeth in the East ? O what an early waker art thou growne ? But cease discourse , and close vnto thy worke ; Vnder this drooping mirtle will I sit , And worke a while vpon my corded net ; And as I worke , record my sorrowes past , Asking old Time , how long my woes shall last : And first , but stay alas what do J see ? Moist gum like teares , drop from this mournfull tree And see , it sticks like birdlyme ; t will not part ; Sorrow is euen such birdlyme at my hart . Alas poore tree , dost thou want company ? Thou dost , I see 't , and J will weepe with thee , Thy sorrowes make thee dumb , and so shall mine . It shall be tongueles , and so seeme like thine ; Thus will I rest my head vnto thy barke , Whilst my sighes tell my sorrowes ; harke tree , harke . Enter Hippolito and Francisco . Fr.

Fie , fie , how heauy is light loue in me ?

Hip.

How slow runs swift desire ?

Fr. This leaden ayre , This pondrous feather , merry Melancholy . Hip. This passion , which , but in passion Hath not his perfect shape . Fr. And shapelesse loue Hath in his watch of loue oreslept himselfe . Hip. Then sleepy wakers , let these graue le ts wander And waite th' ascension of beauties wonder : But stay , a man striuing twixt life and death . Fr. Nay then t is so , my heauenly loue 's gone by , And struck him dead with her loue-darting eye . Hip. If speech-bereauing loue will let thee speake , Then speechles man , speake with the tongue of loue , And tell me , if thou saw'st not Cynthia Seeking Endimion in these flowry dales . Anth. Dales for Endimion and faire Cynthia fit , But neuer heauenly goddesse blest this groue , These woods are consecrate to griefe , not loue . Fr. Out Atheist , thou prophan'st loues deity , For , false-reporter , I in them haue seene A loue that makes a Negro of Loues Queene : One that when as the sunne keeps holliday , Hir beauty clads him in his best array , Anth. Now truly shepheard none such soiourn here Please you suruey the Cell , go in and see , I 'me hearst , and none but sorrowe lies with me . Enter Lucida . Fra.

Call you this sorrowes caue ?

Hip. Rather a Cell , Enter Octauio & whisper with Antonio . Where pleasure growes , and none but Angels dwell . Fra. To what compare shall I compare thee to ? Vncomparable beauties Paragon . Hip. I will compare her beauty to the sunne , For her bright lustre giues the morning light . Fr. I le say she is like Cynthia when day 's done , Or Lady to the mistrisse of the night . Hip.

O speake but to me , and J shall be blest .

Fr.

One smile would lay my iarring thoughts at rest .

Enter Hermia . Her .

How now faire sister ? you are hard beset .

Hip.

Nymph .

Fr.

Goddesse .

Hip.

Saynt , once more , y' are both well met .

Fra.

O she is faire .

Hip.

She fairer .

Fra. Both more faire Then rocks of pearle , or the chast euening ayre . Hip.

Say sweet , intend you not to fish to day ?

Her .

No , shepheards , now fish do not bite but play .

Fr.

What time , sweet loue , keepe fishes when they bite ?

Luc.

Early i th' morning , or els late at night .

Hip.

Come , will you talke with me till time of fishing ?

Her .

My father , sir , will chide if I be missing .

Oct.

The match is made , th' are euen vpon going .

Ant.

What should we do ?

Oct.

Why as poore parents and dutifull seruants should doe , run amongst the bushes and catch flies .

Ant.

Stay forward daughters whether are yee going .

Her .

Father , I thinke these shepheards come a wooing .

Ant. A wooing daughters ? nere imagine so : What man 's so mad to marry griefe and woe ? Fra.

Why where liues sad griefe ? heer 's all speaking ioy .

Hip.

O I would liue and die with such annoy .

Ant.

But they are poore , and pouerty is despisde :

Hip.

No , they are faire , beauty is highly prizde .

Oct.

T will be a match , they are beating the price already .

Ant. They once were faire , sorrow from that hath changd them They once knew wealth , but chance hath much estrangd them , Fra. Haue they bin faire ? what fayrer then they are ? Why t is not possible , this heauenly faire Hath only in it selfe beauties exceed , O then rich , fayre , and onely selues exceed . Ant. Come daughters , and come shepheards , if you please , I le leade you to the lodge of little ease , Where I will feast you with what cheere I may , Griefe shall turne mirth , and keepe high holliday . Exit cumfiliabw . The brothers going out Octauio staies them . Oct.

A word with you , you meane to marry these wenches ,

Ambo .

We doe .

Oct.

And are going to contract your selues .

Ambo .

We are .

Hip.

And what say you to this ?

Oct.

God speede you : I would haue you marry on saint Lukes day .

Fr.

Why ?

Oct.

Because J would offer at your wedding .

Fr. Come , th' art all enuy , feed vpon thy hate , This day our quest of loue shall terminate . Exeunt manet Octauio , Oct. Not if I liue , this maladie of loue , Js grown so strong , it will not be driuen out . To see the folly of a doating father ; What toyle I had to fashion them to loue , And how t is doubled to misfashion them . They shall not wed , yet how shall J preuent it ? Fearing th' euent I haue forethought a meanes , And here it lies , swaggering becomes not age , Now like the Fox , i le goe a pilgrimage . Frollick my boyes , I come to mar your sport , Your Country musicke must not play at Court . But first , i le write back to Hortensio For apprehension of yong Aspero : They haue not yet dynde , i le bid my selfe their guest Religion beg ? a fashion in request . Exit . Enter Aspero and his boy . Asp.

Art sure she hates me boy .

Boy .

More then hir death , J haue bin in hir bosome sir , and this day she intends your execution .

Asp.

My execution ! the reason of hir hate ?

Boy .

Hir humour , nothing but a kind of strange crosse humor in that you reiected hir loue .

Asp.

That s not capitall .

Boy .

Not to crosse a great ones humour ? no treason more : great personages humours are puritanes , thei 'l as liue indure the diuel as soone as a crosse , and can away with him better .

Asp.

I will submit , aske pardon on my knee .

Boy .

Is your proud humour come down ifaith , your high humor that would not stoop an ynch of the knees ; I le help 't vp againe , and 't be but to vphold the ieast ; I must bring her as low ere I haue done ; O base , J woulde rather lay my necke vnder the Axe of her hate , then my sporte vnder the feete of hir humor ; but be counselld , i le teach you to preuent both , & perchance make her vpstart humor stoope gallant too .

Asp.

I le hold thee my best iewell and thou dost .

Boy .

And pawne me as poore Lords do their iewells too , will you not ? receiue me ; you shall counterfet your selfe dead .

Asp.

The life of that ieast .

Boy .

It may be she dissembles all this while , loues you , and puts on this shew of hate of purpose to humble you : she may , and I beleeue —

Asp.

What ?

Boy .

That most intelligencers are knaues , and some women dissemblers ; being thought dead ( as let me alone to buz that into the credulous eare of the Court ) if she haue any sparkes of loue , thei l kindle and flame bright through the cinders of her hart .

Asp.

If not ,

Boy .

If not , t will be a meanes for your escape : i le say you requested at your death to be buried at your natiue Citty : and what Courtier , if a Christian can deny that ?

Asp.

I am all thine , my humor 's thy patient .

Boy .

And if I do not kill it , I am not worthy to be your physitian .

Exeunt . Enter Florimell and hir Page . Pa.

I mary Lady ; why now you credit your sex : a womans honor or humour should be like a ship vnder sayle , split her keele ere she vaile . Enter Boy .

Flo.

I le split my heart ere my humor strike saile : here comes his Page , how now boy ? how doth your master .

Boy .

Well madam he .

Flo.

Well ?

Boy .

Very well .

Flo.

Where is he ?

Boy .

Where none of your proude sex will euer come , I thinke : in heauen .

Flo.

Is he dead ?

Boy .

See madam , and seeing blush , and blushing shame , that your vngentle humor should be the death of so good and generous a spirit .

Discouer Aspero lying on a Table seeming dead . Flo. My Aspero dead ! Boy See madam , what a mutation Flo.

I see too much , and curse my proud humour that was the cause of it : Aspero , kind soule , proud sullen Florimell , disdainefull humor , that in one minute hast eternally vndone me : I would not kisse the liuing substance , that being dead doate on thy picture : oh I lou'd thee euer with my soule : O let me kisse this shrowd of beauty : I would not accept thee liuing , that being dead on my knees adore thee : could kisses recouer thee , I would dwell on thy lips : kneele till my knees grew to the ground , deere gentle Aspero she that procurde thy death will die with thee ,

And craue no heauen , but still to lie with thee .

Aspero starts vp . Asp.

I take you at your word Lady :

Nay neuer recant , I haue witnes on 't now : is your proud humor come downe ? could you not haue said so at first ? and sau'd me a labour of dying ?

Flo.

Liues Aspero ?

Asp.

Liue quotha ? sfoot what man would bee so mad to lye in his colde graue alone , and may lie in a warme bed with such a beautifull wife as this will be ? haue I tane your humour napping yfaith ?

Flo.

Am I ore reacht ?

Asp.

In your humour Madam , nothing els , and I am as proude on 't .

Flo.

Do not flowt me ; and you doe , I shall grow into my humour againe .

Asp.

In ieast .

Flo.

In earnest I shall , and then I know what I know .

Asp.

You may : but and you do , I shall die againe .

Flo.

In ieast .

Asp.

Nay in earnest madam , and then —

Flo.

No more , thou hast driuen mee cleane out of conceite with my humor , I loue thee , I confesse it , shalt be my husband , i le liue with thee , thou art my life , and i le die with thee .

What more I meane is coated in my looke , If thou acceptst it , sweare , Asp.

I kisse the booke .

Flo.

Boy , run to the master of my Gundelo , and will him attend me after supper at the garden staires , I meane to take the euening ayre , tell him .

Pa.

It shall be done madam . Exit .

Flo.

Nay if I say the word , it shall be done Aspero .

Boy .

Look to your selfe my Lord , I lay my life , my Lady means to steale you away to night .

Asp.

Away ? i le call Hortensio , i le not be accessary to your fellony madam .

Enter Hortensio and his man Assistance with a letter . Flo.

The foole comes without calling .

Ass.

You shall know him by these signes .

Hort.

Good figure , very good figure , for as the house is found out by the signe , so must this traytor be sented out by the token , vp with the first signe good Assistance .

Ass.

A proper man without a beard .

Hor.

How ? a proper man without a beard ? we shall scarce finde that signe in all Venice : for the propernesse of a man liues altogether in the fashion of his beard , good Assistance the next .

Ass.

Faire spoken and well conditioned .

Hort.

More straunge : you shall haue many proper men fayrespoken , but not one amongst twenty well condicioned , but soft , this should be the house by the signe , I must pick it out of him by wit .

Flo.

As good say steale my Lord , what mary-bone of witte is your iudgement going to pick now ?

Hort.

I must , like a wise Iustice of peace , picke treason out of this fellow .

Flo.

Treason ?

Hort.

I , treason madam ; know you this hand ?

Flo.

My roiall fathers :

Hor.

Then whilst you and your fathers letters talke togither , let me examine this fellow : are you a proper man without a beard ?

Asp.

My propernes sir contents me : for my beard , indeed that was bitten the last great frost , and so were a number of Justices of peace besides .

Hort.

T is rumourd about the Court that your name is Aspero .

Asp.

I am call'd Aspero .

Hor.

Sonne to the Duke of Mantua that was .

Asp.

The duke of Mantuaes sonne that is .

Hort.

Then the Duke of Mantua has a traytor to his sonne , lay hands of him and to close prison with him .

Flo.

Can he be closer then in my custody ?

Hort.

I do not thinke so madam , but your father has imposde the trust vpon me .

Flo.

And dare not you trust mee ?

Hor.

With my head if you were my wife , but not with my profit , if you were my mother : will you along sir ?

Asp.

With all my heart sir , see what your humour 's come to now go my Lord ? as willingly as a slaue from the gallies : for as I shall haue a stronger prison , so J shall bee sure of a kinder and a wiser iaylor .

Flo.

Do you obserue how he flowts you my Lord ? that I had bin his keeper but one night longer : but keepe him close , if he escape ( though against thy will ) as I am a mayd ,

Hort.

A maide against your will .

Flo.

Shalt pay as deere for 't as thou didst for thy office .

Hort

If he scape , hang me . Exit & As . with Aspero .

Flo.

I shall wish thee hangd , if he do not : treason ! I may thanke my peeuish humor for t .

Enter Page . Page .

Madam the Gundelo is ready .

Flo.

Thou bringst physicke when the patient 's dead boy : our ieast 's turnd earnest .

Pa.

Is a dead in earnest ?

Flo.

As good , or rather worse , hee 's buried quick .

Pa.

O madam , many a good thing has bin buried quick and suruiu'd againe , I would bee buried quicke my selfe , and I might choose my graue .

Flo.

Hee 's buried in close prison boy , hee 's knowne for the duke of Mantuaes sonne , and by my fathers letter attached for a traytor .

Pa.

Good gentleman , and I be not sorrie for him : who is his keeper ?

Flo.

The testie asse Hortensio .

Pa.

Vds foot le ts enlarge him ,

Flo.

Not possible boy .

Pa.

Not possible ? t is : wee le cousen his keeper .

Flo.

We cannot .

Pa.

Cannot ! we can : your father made a Lord of him , but be rul'd by me , his daughter shall make a foole of him : you are not the first woman has made a foole of a wiser Lord then he is .

Flo.

Shall he be cousend ?

Pa.

As palpably as at the Lotterie , my brains are in labour of the stratagem alreadie .

Exeunt . Finis actus Tertiis .

ACTVS QVARTVS . Enter Anthonio , Francisco , Hippolito , Hermia , Lucida and Octauio disguisd , Anth. Sons of Octauio if your princely thoughts Can stoope to such meane beauty , from this hand Receiue your wiues , but should the Duke your father — Fr.

Feare not old man , he was the meanes that breath'd this spirit into vs .

Hip. Wood vs to this course . But should he proue Apostata , denie Loue which he first enforcd vs to profes , So firme are our inseparate affections , To winne our loues weed loose the names of sonnes . Oct. Your father thanks you , but hot-sprighted you that , Take counsell from experience , ere yee tie The gordian knot which none but heauen can loose , Craue his consent : when an imperiall hand Shakes a weake shed , the building cannot stand . Fr.

Not stand ? it shall : not Ioue himselfe can ruine the ground-worke for our loue .

Oct. Not Ioue ! Hip. Not Ioue , Should a speak thunder ; then go boldly on , Our loue admits no separation . Oct.

Then to 〈…〉 your loue is chast .

Fra.

As innocence white soule .

Hip.

As innocence white soule .

Oct.

And yours .

Herm.

And ours ,

Lucid.

And ours ,

Oct. Then lend me all your hands , Whilst thus a fathers tongue forbids the bands , discouers himselfe Forgetfull boyes , but most audacious traytor , That durst in thought consent to wrong thy Prince , Out of my fight ; no Land that calls me Lord , Shall beare a waight so hatefull as they selfe : Liue euer banishd , if ( three daies expirde ) Thou or these lustfull strumpets . Hip.

Father .

Oct. Boyes ; If you be mine show 't in obedience : If ( three daies past ) you liue within my dukedome , Thee as a slaue i le doome vnto the gallies , And these thy brats as common prostitutes ▪ Shall drie their lustfull veynes in the Burdello . Come boyes , to Court ; he that first gaue you liues , Will to your births prouide you equall wiues . Fr.

They haue our loues .

Hip.

Our oathes .

Fr.

Our hearts and hands .

Oct. Tut , louers othes , like toyes writ down in sands Are soone blowne ore , contracts are common wiles , Tintangle fooles , Ioue himselfe sits and smiles At louers periuries , bawd , strumpets hence , My bosome 's chargde , giue way to violence : Come doe not mind them . Exeunt Anth , and his daughters . Fran. How ? not minde them father ? When in your Court you courted vs to loue , You red another lecture , women then Were angells . Oct. True , but that was before Angells Had power to make them diuells ; they were then Fiends to themselues , and Angells vnto men . When vpon Po thou find'st a cole-black swan , Th' ast found a woman constant to a man . Fr.

And not afore ?

Oct.

Neuer afore .

Hip. Your tongue Vnspeaks your former speech . Oct. It doth ; new theames Must haue new change of Rhetorique ; all streames Flow not alike one way ; when I spake like a louer , Jt was to breake you from your souldiers humour ; Hauing made you louers , I , like Enuy , speak To make you hate loue ; Art still striues to breake Bad to make better : Brothers .

You haue your wish .

Oct. Then onward to the Court , Make vs of loue , as schoole-boyes do of sport . Exeunt . Enter Florimell and her Page . Flo.

Call out the iaylor boy , yet doe not ; hast got a beard like Hortensio ?

Page .

Yes , madam , J haue got his hayre , if I coulde come as easily by his wit .

Flo.

Wouldst rob him of his wit ?

Pa.

If I shold , he could not hang me for 't : t is not worth thirteen pence halfe penny , but what shall I do with it ?

Flo.

Put it on boy .

Pa.

That shall J madam , O forward age , I am a man already : how do you like me Lady ?

Flo.

Very ill , and my plot worse .

Pa. Then leaue 't of , if you be grounded in the plot , You will but marre the Comedy . Flo.

I purposde , thou in the habit of Hortensio , shouldst vnder pretence of remouing Aspero to a new prison , haue freed him out of the old one .

Tut , J can tell you a trick , worth two of that : madam , your eare , take some care in the managing , and let me alone to prepare it .

Exeunt . Enter Aspero and his Boy . Boy .

Vdsfoot breake prison my Lorde , t is but swimming the Riuer .

Asp.

Breake prison ? t were both dishonour to my name , and treason to my loue , what benefit wer 't for me to free my body , & leaue my heart in bondage ? i le die , ere i le harbour a disloyall thought .

Pa.

Jt beares no rellish of disloyaltie : being in prison you liue as far from loue as liberty : being abroad , you may by letters , or a thousand meanes purchase hir company , and compasse your content .

Asp.

Shalt be my Lawyer boy and counsell me .

Boy .

I le looke for my Fee then .

Asp.

If thy Counsell prospers .

Boy .

That s an exception Lawyers neuer respect , but come my lord , leape , as we haue risen togither , wee le fall togither ,

Enter Hort. Florimell and Page . Asp.

Blame me not loue ,

Boy.

Vdsfoot your iaylor my lord .

Asp.

Am I preuented ?

Boy .

Yes faith , there had bin a Counsellors fee cast away now .

Hort.

You haue heard his vsage Lady , seene his lodging , and if it please you , you both may and shall confer with him .

Flo.

Prithee call him .

Boy .

My Lord , your keeper hath brought a Lady or two to see you .

Asp.

To see me ? why am I turnd monster ? doth he take money to shew me ? what doth a take a peece troe ?

Flo.

Why how now gallant , not gone yet ?

Asp.

Not , I thanke you Lady , and yet I was neer 't .

Hort.

How do you man ?

Asp.

Musty for want of ayring .

Flo.

Wee le haue you hangd out i' the fresh ayre , one of these mornings .

Asp.

You l be glad to take me in then .

Flo.

Yes , when you had hangd abroad a little : but my Lorde Hortensio ( for I think I must be your Lady when all 's done ) what sport ? I would be merry a purpose to make him mad ; the room 's priuate and fit for any exercise .

Pa.

Vdsfoot to her , can a woman offer fairer for 't ?

Hort.

Why shall we go to span-counter madam ?

Pa.

To span-counter , best ask her and shee le go to Coits .

Flo.

No , I loue some stirring exercise , my body 's condiciond like the sun ; it would neuer be out of motion .

Hor. I hau 't yfaith , when I was student in Padua , We vsde a most ingenious pastime . Flo

The name my Lord .

Hort. I cannot giue it a name equall to the merit . T is vulgarly calld Blindmans buffe . Pa.

Blind mans buffe ? ha , ha , ha ,

Hort.

Do you laugh at it ?

Flo.

At the happines of your wit my Lord , that you shoulde hit vpon that sport , which of all other I delight in .

Hor.

Will you heare an Apology I made in the commendation of it ?

Flo.

Wee le haue the thing it selfe first ; and as we like that , wee l heare your Apologie after : who shall be hud-winckt first ?

Pa.

Who but the Author ?

Hort.

I , I , none shall be blind but I ; helpe of with my gown boy .

Pa.

What shall we haue to blind him ?

Flo.

My scarfe , take my scarfe my Lord .

Pa.

There 's a simple fauour for you .

Hort.

And most fit , for indeed nothing blinds louers sooner then Ladies fauors , but who shall blind me .

Flo.

Mary that will I my Lord , let me alone to blind you .

Hort.

Good againe ; for who should blind men , but beautious women ? come sweet madam .

Flo.

But how if you take me ? as I know that will be your ayme ,

Hort.

Jf J take you prisoner madam , you must either bee hudwinckt your selfe , or giue your conqueror a kisse for your ransome .

Flo.

An easie ransome : i le not be prisoner long , if a kisse will enlarge me .

Pa.

Lord what scambling shift has he made for a kisse and cannot get in neither ; a little higher , so , so , so , are you blind my Lord ?

Hort.

As a purblind Poet : haue amongst you blind Harpers .

Flo.

Me thinks he looks for all the world like God Cupid .

Pa.

Take heed of his dart madam , he comes vpon you ,

Flo.

He cannot come to fast , O I am taken prisoner .

Hort.

Your ransome 's but a kisse .

Flo.

Is that your law of armes ?

Hort.

Yes madam , but i le take it on your lips .

Flo.

My lips like faithfull Treasurers shall see it dischargde .

Hort.

And here are my honest receiuers to take it .

The Page puts his Pantoflle to his lips , he kisses it . Flo.

Am I freed now ?

Hort.

As if you had seru'd seauen yeare for 't : sweete kisse , rare lippe .

Pa.

Has she not a sweet breath my Lord ?

Hort.

As perfume .

Pa.

And a soft lip ?

Hort.

And smooth as veluet : I could scarce discerne it from veluet : i de pawne my office for the fellow on 't , madam .

Pa.

Here .

Flo.

Here Aspero , on with this beard and gowne : I thinke hee followes me by the sent , his hat , so : a narrowe misse yfaith my Lord ?

Hort.

Gone madam ?

Flo.

Euen vpon going , one of you counterfet my voice , there I deceiud you my Lord .

Hort.

Haue you deceiu'd me madam ?

Flo.

Not yet , but I will , and you look not the better too 't , busie him till you thinke we are out of the Court , and then followe vs : you shall find vs at the south port , now or neuer my Lord .

Hort.

Why then t will neuer be Lady .

Boy .

Here .

Hor.

Where ?

Boy .

Here .

Hort.

Scapt againe ?

Pa.

Shee 's scapt indeed my Lord , you may cast your cap after her , for I see you can do no other good vpon hir .

Hort.

What haue I catchd you ?

Pa.

Kisse her and let her goe .

Hort.

Kings truce till I breath a little .

Pa.

And you had neede so , for I thinke you are almost out of breath , if you be not , you shall be , and that s as good , but breathe and spare not .

Enter Aspero like Hortensio , Florimell , and Assistance on the vpper stage . Asp.

Did you euer conuerse with a more straunger dissolute , madam ?

Flo.

Peremptory iacke , iaylor , as you respect your office , lay speciall watch that none of what degree soeuer haue accesse to him .

Asp.

Without me .

Ass.

Or your signet .

Asp.

Signet mee no signets , your goldsmiths shop is like your Swans neast , has a whole brood of signets , and all of a feather , & amongst many , one may be like another , let none enter vpon the stage where Aspero playes the madam , without Hortensio .

Ass.

Is he mad my Lord ?

Asp.

As the Lord that gaue all to his followers , and beg'd more for himselfe .

Flo.

If he call for me , tell him I scorne him .

Asp.

If he counterfet my voice ( as mad fellowes will counterfet great mens hands , and their tongues too ) rate him for 't , threaten him with the whip .

Flo.

But come not at him .

Asp.

Jf he call for meat promise him faire ;

Flo.

But giue him none .

Ass.

If for light .

Flo.

He may fire the house , let him haue none .

Asp.

Jf he chafe , laugh .

Flo.

If he rayle , sing .

Asp.

Jf he speake fayre , flowt him .

Flo.

Do any thing to vexe him .

Asp.

But nothing to content him , you heare my charge , as you respect your office regard it .

Ass.

I warne you my Lord , let mee alone , and we knew not how to abuse a prisoner , we were not worthy to be a Iaylor .

Exeunt . They renew Blindmans Buffe on the Lower stage , Pa.

Are you in breath my Lord ?

Hort.

As a bruers horse , and as long-winded ; look to your selfe madam , I come vpon you .

Boy .

J am ready for you sir ; O for a bul-rush to run a tilt at 's nose .

Pa.

A fayre misse yfaith .

Hort.

I le mend it next course you shall see .

Pa.

In the corner of the left hand ; vdsfoot ware shins my Lord ,

Hort.

Madam .

Boy

Here .

Hort.

Where ?

The boy throwes him downe ,

Helpe me vp Madam ,

Boy .

O strange , cannot you get vp without helpe ? there 's my gloue , but come no neerer , as you loue me .

Hort. I do loue you madam . Boy . Oh blind loue . Hort. True madam ; your beauty has made me blind . Pa. Indeed loues sonnes like spaniells are all borne blind , Hort. But they will see . Boy . Not till they be nyne daies old my Lord , Hort.

But will you giue mee the fingers that hold this gloue madam ?

Boy .

And the whole body to pleasure you my Lord , but let me go a little .

Hort. I will not loose you yet Lady . Boy . But you shall my Lord ; hist , then keepe me still . He fastens the gloue to a post . Pa.

Faith let go my Lord , for she growes sullen , and you had as good talke to a post , and as good answer t would make you .

Exeunt . Hort.

Nay but deere madam , doe but answer me , may I presume , vppon my knees I beg it ; but to take a fauour from your sweet lips ? shall I ? las I am not the first man , that loue has blinded , may I presume 't I would be loth to offend your milde patience so much , as with an vnreuerend touch : speake ; if I shall reape the haruest of my honest defires , make me blest in proposing the time when ; what ? not a word ? are you displeased ? or shall I take your silence for a consent ? shall I ? speake ; or if modesty locke in your syllables , seale my assurance with a kisse : not ? neither ? shall I haue neither your word nor your bond ? nay then I must make bold with modesty ; by this kisse madam , O my hard fortune ? haue I made suit to a poast all this while ? what block but I , would haue bin so sencelesse ? my excuse is , 't was but to make my Lady sport : and : Madam ? how ? Lady ? madam ? boy ; madam , Aspero : but whist , I haue the conceit , 't was excellent in my Lady , and J applaud it , suppose my Lady and hir prisoner had an intent of priuate busines in the next roome ; was it not better in her to blinde me , then I should as gentlemen vshers ( cases so standing ) haue blinded my selfe ? againe , J applaud her , and adore my starres that made me rather a blind then a seeing dore-keeper : shall I interrupt them ? no : madam ? they haue not done yet , sure they haue not : what haue we here ? a base violl ! though J cannot tickle the mynnikyn within , i le ( though it be some what base ) giue them a song without , and the name of the Ditty shall be ;

The Gentleman Vshers Voluntarie .

He sings . Peace , peace , peace , make no noyse , Pleasure and feare lie sleeping ? End , end , end your idle toyes , Iealous eies will be peeping . Kisse , kisse and part , though not for hate for pittie , Ha done , ha done , ha done , for I ha done my dittie .

And if you haue not done now too , let me be as base as my fiddle , if I rowze you not : madam for shame , what doe you meane to make of me , how ? sfoote what haue you made of me already ? all gone ? Iaylor ?

Enter Assistance aboue . Ass. How now ? who calls ? Hort. Why saucie knaue t is J. Ass. You , what you ? Hort.

A single V , I came in double , but I thanke them , they are gone out , and left me here a single . —

Ass. Foole , and so I leaue you . Hort. Knaue , I am Hortensio , I charge thee let me out . Ass.

Foole , you lye , you are Aspero , and I haue charge to keepe you in .

Hort. From whom ? Ass. From my Lord Hortensio . Hort.

Sfoot knaue J tell thee I am hee , and thou wilt not beleeue me , trust thine eies , come in and see .

Ass.

'T will not serue your turne , J like a whole skinne better then a pinkt one : content your selfe to night , and in the morning i le tell you more .

Hort. Where 's my Lady , send hir hither , Ass.

Shee 's busie with my Lord Hortensio , but if you haue any vse for a woman , i le send you one of the Laundresses : fare you well sir , bee content , you shall want nothing of any thing you haue .

Hort.

Hortensio gone outland my Ladie busie with Hortensio ? I am gulld , palpably guld : whilst I like a blocke stood courting the post , Aspero is in my apparrell escapde : villains , traytors , open the doore , the Duke 's abusd , his daughter 's fled : I proclaime yee all traytors that hinder me in the pursuit .

Ass.

O for a reasonable audience to applaud this sceane of merryment : i le goe call my Lady and my Lord Hortensio .

Exit Hort.

Blindmans buffe ? I haue bufft it fairely , and mine owne gullery grieues me not halfe so much as the Dukes displeasure , iaylor , not a word ? iaylor , there 's no way to please a knaue but fayre words , and gold : honest kinde iaylor , here 's gold for thee : doe but take pittie vpon me , a miserable cony-catchd Courtier : not ? neither fayre nor foule ? thou art a degree worse then a woman ; what shall I doe ? I can compare my fortune and my vnfortunate selfe to nothing so fitlie as my Base here , wee suffer euerie foole to play vpon vs for their pleasure : and indeede 't was the intent of our Creator that made fiddles and seruitors to nothing but to be playd vpon , and playd vpon wee shall be , till our heart strings crack , and then they either cast vs aside or hang vs vp , as worthy no other imployment ; well , if I can worke my meanes , of escape , so : if not , I must lie by it .

Exit . Finis actus Quarti .

ACTVS QVINTVS . Enter Octauio , Francisco , Hippolito Flamineo . &c. MY daughter fled ? and with Hortensio , It beares no formall shape of likelyhood , Hir Eagle spirit soard to proud a pitch , To seize so base a prey ; let priuy searche Look through the citties bosome till they find her : For gone she is not . Fr. Has not Anthonies sonne Sent them by some base practise to their death ? Oct. His breasts too full of honor ; trusty Iulio ? Enter Iulio . What waighty businesse drawes thee from thy charge ? Iul. Came not the cause afore me ? the proud Mantuans Basely reuolt , deposde me from the seate And chayre of Regentship , sending in quest Of proude Anthonio their late-banishd Duke , Him if they find or Aspero his sonne Enter Assist . Thei le reinstall him in the regiment . Oct.

Him let them seeke in the vast shades of death , as for his sonne .

Ass.

Hee 's sure ynough my Lord , he was a mad knaue when he came in , but J thinke , I haue made a tame foole of him by this time : for a has neither had bread nor water these foure and forty houres .

Oct. More villain thou . Ass.

My Lord , Hortensio was the villain , he left such command with mee , hee 's the wheele that turnes about , and I a Country Iack must strike when I am commanded .

Oct. Although my foe , hee 's honorably tempred , Yet armd against my life goe call him forth , Guard in my safety with a ring of steele , And marke how proudly hee le demeane reuenge . Enter Assistance and Hortensio bareheaded with his Crowd , Ass. Goblins , spirits , furies , faeryes , the prison is haunted . Oct. With a knaue is 't not ? Ass.

Yes , and an olde foole my Lord , in the likenesse of Hortensio .

Oct. Villain where 's Aspero . Ass.

I know not my Lord : I let him in and my Lady to laugh at him , and it seemes , he consented to treason , and let him out in his apparrell .

Hor.

They consented togither to cousen me , for taking delight ( as my betters may doe ) in a foolish pastime called Blindmans buffe , they stole away my gowne , escapt the prison , and left mee in fooles paradice , where , what song I haue playd , my Violl can witnesse , they made me a little better then a bawd my Lord .

Fr. In act : Hort.

Not meerly in act : sed cogitatione , & id satis est vt inquit Suetonius .

Oct. Js hee escapt : and Florimell with him ? Hortensio thy head shall answer it . Hort.

I pray let my tongue be my heads Atturney , and pleade my excuse .

Oct. Vrge no excuse , away with him to prison . Ass. It shall be done my Lord . Oct.

Nay you sir too , shall taste of the same sauce , away with both ,

Flamineo . Come my sonnes , Let s leauy present armes gaynst Mantua . Being scarce come home we must abroad againe , The Common good 's a carefull Princes payne . Exeunt . Enter Anthonio , Lucida , Hermia and Lords . Anth. You that in all my banisht pilgrimage , Would neuer alienate your naturall loues , But in desire to see me reinstalld , Haue thrust out proude Octauioes substitute , And seated me in antient dignity , I am yours , and ready at your best dispose . Lord Your owne , my liege , we like inferiour lights Take life from your reflection , for like stars Vnto the sunne , are Counsellours to Kings : He feeds their orbes with fier , and their shine Contend to make his glory more diuine . And such are we to great Anthonio . Anth. The veynes and arteries of Anthonio Through which the bloud of greatnesse flows in vs . Our life , and cause efficient of our state , And these our prety partners in exile . Lord . We ha yet performd but the least part of duetie , Your reinstalment : it rests , that with our bloud , We keepe out innouative violence . Ant. You new-create me , and breath second life Into my dying bosome , knew my soone Of this vnlookt-for Fortune , but ill Fate Has playd the Traytor , and giuen vp his life To coward treason . A shout within . Enter Aspero and Florimell with their Pages . Asp.

Vdsfoot what offence haue I committed against the state , that these yron-handed Plebeians so applaud me for ?

Flo. T is a signe they loue you . Asp.

I had rather thy should hate me , it makes mee suspect my bosome , for they loue none , but the masters of factions , treasons , and innouasions .

Flo. Then you doe not loue the Commons . Asp.

Yes , as wise men doe their flattering wiues , only for show : the popular voyce is like a crie of bauling hounds , and they get the foote of a fantasticke and popular-affecting statesman , they neuer leaue him , till they haue chac'd him into disgrace , & then , like hounds , are at a losse , and with their losse , see , I haue found my father , safety attend you .

Anth. Welcome thou hope of Mantua and of vs , We now are honors new beginners boy , And may we better thriue then heretofore . Asp.

Neuer doubt it father , I haue attractiue stuffe that will draw customers .

Anth. What Lady 's that . Flo.

One that has playd the part of a Constable , brought you home a Runaway .

Asp.

A friend of mine Father , but daughter to your Arch-enemy .

Anth. Octauioes daughter ? Asp.

Yes faith , you are out with the Father , and i le see if I can fall in with the daughter .

Flo.

And am I not a good child to leaue my fathers loue at sixe and seauen , and hazard my honor vpon your sonnes naked promise , and your hopefull acceptance .

Asp. She has followed me through much danger . Anth. The better welcome , I loue her for 't . Asp.

Like her and you please , i d'e haue no body loue her but my selfe .

Anth. And Lady , though your Father be our foe , The vertuous loue betwixt our sonne and you , May nerethelesse retaine his simpathie . Flo. Shall nerethelesse retaine his simpathy , Anthonio know I am loues resolute , Confirmd and grounded in affection : I lou'd your sonne , not for he was a Prince , But one no better then his present fortunes , I le loue him still , since first I lou'd him so , Let Father , friends , and all the world say no . Asp.

There 's mettle Father , how can wee choose but get cocking children , when father and mother too are both of the game .

Enter Messenger . Mess. To armes my Lord , Octauio comes in armes To giue a proud assault vnto the Citty . Asp. Proud his assault , as proud be our resist , Vye shot for shot , and stake downe life for life , Our brest 's as bold as theirs , our bloud as deepe , All that wee 'l loose , or this our gettings keepe . Her . Come brother , talke not of deuouring war , Say messenger , comes not Octauioes sonnes ? Mess. They do , as proudly as the morning Sunne Beating the azurd pauement of the heauen . Her . Then feare not father , my sister and my selfe , Will be your champions and defend the Citty . Flo. Why Ladies , haue you such large interest in our brothers . Fr. Princesse , we haue , within there : reach our shields , When beauty fights , the God of battaile yeelds . Exeunt . Enter Francisco , Hippolito , Flamineo , Iulio . Enter Anthonio , Aspero , Florimell , two Pages Lords and Messenger aboue . Flo. They offer parlee , let mee answer them . Brothers , how now ? who made you souldiers ? Faith een my father as he made you louers : What ? hath he chang'd your shepheards hooks to swords ? Of Amoradoes made you armed knights ? O seld-seene metamorphosis ! J haue knowne Souldiers turne louers , but for amorous louers To re-assume their valour , t is a change , Like winter-thunder , and a thing as strange . Fr. Our sister prisoner ? Hip. Tell me Florimell , Dost thou liue there enforc'd , or of free-will ? Flo.

Free will , brothers , mine owne free will , all free in Mantua , here 's free will yfaith , speake am I not a free-woman ?

Pa.

As if you had seru'd for 't , any man may set vp vnder hir copy without a protection .

Fr. J wag ? are you there too ? Pa.

Yes faith my Lord , my Lady has had my attendaunce to a hayre .

Flo. You lie boy . Pa. If not mine , some bodies els : there 's one has done — Asp. What haue I done sirra ? Pa.

Nay nothing , but what my Lady was very well content with .

Fr. Why sister , shame you not to set your loue On one , that is our Fathers enemie . Flo. Shame ? not a whit : but come , your wenches brothers , I make no question , I haue won my wager : Are they as faire as I ? Hip. Leaue that to triall . Aspero make surrender of our sister . Asp. And haue her in quiet possession ? what do you thinke me . Fr. We thinke thee a proud villain and our foe . Flo. By heauen , th' are villains all that thinke him so , Hip. Why doe you loue him . Flo. I should curse my selfe if I should hate him : Fr. Bring the ladders forth , Brauely assault to separate their liues , As they are sealing the walls , the Ladies come forth . Her . Stand proud Francisco . Pa. Sand ! O excellent word in a woman ! Luc. Hold Hippolito . Pa. Hold ! vp with that word , and t is as good as the other . Fr. What nymphe or goddesse in my Hermiaes shape , Stands to debar my entrance to the towne : Pa. Madam , I wonder they enter not . Flo. Why boy it seemes they dare not , Pa. O cowards and haue two such fayre breaches already , Fr. Immortall Pallas that art more diuine , In my loues beautie that thou cloth'st thee in , With drawe thy selfe , and giue our fury limits . Her . I will , but first Francisco take my shielde . Luc. And mine as challenge to a single combat , Her . Read the conditions and returne your answers . Flo.

Well done yfaith wenches , O that the olde gray-beard my Father were here , i de haue about with him as I am honourable .

Fr. What s here ! A shepheard wooing of a Country maide , As she sits angling by a Riuers side , By them an aged man making a net ! The Motto : Sic ! this Emblems morrall is , The former loue I had with Lucida , And this hope tells me that 's faire Lucida . Hip. Brother , my shield the like presents to me , But holds far more familiar reference , Here doth the amorous shepheard kisse the Nymph ; Which she with a chast blush consents vnto : And see , a gloomy man , clad like a pilgrim Comes in , and seperates their sweete delights : The Motto , Sic ! I so my Father came , and banisht me from beautious Hermia , and this hope tells me is faire Hermia . Fr. The more I looke , the more me thinkes t is she . Hip. The more I think the more I find t is she . Fr. What should I thinke to proue it is not she ? Flo. Looke , thinke , find , proue , doe what you can , These are the wenches that you courted than : Then hony bees lay by your smarting stings , and buz sweet loue into your Ladies eares , Tell them of kisses , and such prety things , These drumming dub adubs loues pleasure feares . Fr. O heauen , oh fortune , and most happie stars , Do I find loue , where I expected wars ? Hip. I that but now was all for war and death , am made all loue , wars humour 's out of breath . Enter Octauio , Iulio , and others . Oct.

How , my sonnes loue the daughters of my foe ! it cannot be ,

Iul. Then question them your selfe . Oct. Why how now sonnes , is this your worth in armes . Fr. Why are we not in armes father . Hip. Yes , and in such armes as no Coward , but woulde venture life to march in . Oct. Then boies , you loue the daughters of Anthonio . Fr. We lik'd them first . Hip. WE keepe that liking still . Oct. And you will loue them . Flo. Father infaith they will . Oct.

I , run away are you there ? whome has your Ladyship got to your husband ?

Flo.

One that I stumbled on at Blindman buffe , a proper man , a man euery ynch of him : and you would say so , and you knewe but as much as I — meane to know ere I haue done with him .

Oct. Is he not sonne vnto Anthonio ? Asp. Great Duke I am , and prostrate on my knee , I beg a peace , which if your spleene deny , I proudlie stand where erst I mildly kneel'd , and east downe bold defiance from theis walls . Oct. No more your loues make my proud hart asham'd , Your consort 's sweet , and i le not be a meane To make it iar : what my sonnes like shall stand , By my consent , allowed and perfected ; all hate is banisht , and reuenge lies dead . Asp. Then stead of speares , let Hymens torches flame With hallowed incence , and the God of spright , Swell vp your vaines with amorous delight : and so that vp our single Comedy , With Plautus phrase : Si placet , plaudite . Exeunt Omnes . FINIS .