Old Fortunatus Dekker, Thomas This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A20076 of text S105256 in the English Short Title Catalog (STC 6517). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. Martin Mueller Incompletely or incorrectly transcribed words were reviewed and in many cases fixed by Madeline Burg Kate Needham This text has not been fully proofread EarlyPrint Project Evanston IL, Notre Dame IN, St.Louis, Washington MO 2017 Distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License A20076.xml The pleasant comedie of old Fortunatus. As it was plaied before the Queenes Maiestie this Christmas, by the Right Honourable the Earle of Nottingham, Lord high Admirall of England his seruants. Dekker, Thomas, ca. 1572-1632. 45 600dpi TIFF G4 page images University of Michigan, Digital Library Production Service Ann Arbor, Michigan 2003 March (TCP phase 1) 99840985 STC (2nd ed.) 6517. Greg, I, 162. 5535 A20076 2264185729

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 The pleasant comedie of old Fortunatus. As it was plaied before the Queenes Maiestie this Christmas, by the Right Honourable the Earle of Nottingham, Lord high Admirall of England his seruants. Old Fortunatus Old Fortunatus. Comedie of olde Fortunatus. Dekker, Thomas, ca. 1572-1632. [86] p. Printed by S. S[tafford] for William Aspley, dwelling in Paules Church-yard at the signe of the Tygers head, London : 1600. 1599

Anonymous. By Thomas Dekker.

Partly in verse.

Printer's name from STC.

Signatures: A-L4 (-L4).

Running title reads: The comedie of olde Fortunatus.

Some copies lack E2; a deliberate cancel related to the fall of Essex?.

Reproduction of the original in Harvard University. Library.

 A20076 shc Old Fortunatus Dekker, Thomas Madeline Burg Kate Needham 1599 play comedy shc no A20076 S105256 (STC 6517). 90 31654 0 0 0 3 0 0 0.94 B The rate of 0.94 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the B category of texts with fewer than 10 defects per 10,000 words. Incorporated ~ 10,000 textual changes made to the SHC corpus by Hannah Bredar, Kate Needham, and Lydia Zoells between April and July 2015 during visits, separately or together, to the Bodleian, Folger and Houghton Libraries as well as the Rare Book Libraries at Northwestern University and the University of Chicago Harry Ransom Center, The University of Texas at Austin, PFORZ 277 PFZ

THE Pleasant Comedie of Old Fortunatus .

As it was plaied before the Queenes Maiestie this Christmas , by the Right Honourable the Earle of Nottingham , Lord high Admirall of England his Seruants .

LONDON Printed by S. S. for William Aspley , dwelling in Paules Church-yard at the signe of the Tygers head . 1600 .

The Prologue at Court : Enter two old men . 1

ARe you then trauelling to the temple of Eliza ?

2

Euen to her temple are my feeble limmes trauelling . Some cal her Pandora : some Gloriana , some Cynthia : some Delphaebe , some Astraea : all by seuerall names to expresse seuerall loues : Yet all those names make but one celestiall body , as all those loues meete to create but one soule .

1

I am one of her owne countrie , and we adore her by the name of Eliza .

2

Blessed name , happie countrie : Your Eliza makes your land Elizium : but what doe you offer ?

1

That which all true Subiects should : when I was young , an Armed hand ; now I am crooked , an vpright heart : But what offer you ?

2

That which all straungers doe : two eyes strucke blinde with admiration : Two lips ( proud to sound her glorie : ) Two hands held vp full of prayers and praises : What not , that may expresse loue ? what not , that may make her beloued ?

1

How long is t since you last beheld her ?

2

A iust yeere : yet that yeere hath seemd to me but one day , because her glorie hath beene my howrely contemplation , and yet that yeere hath seemd to me more then twice seuen yeres , because so long I haue beene absent from her . Come therefore , good father , let s goe faster , least we come too late : for see , the Tapers of the night are already lighted , and stand brightly burning in their starrie Candlestickes : See howe gloriouslly the Moone shines vpon vs . Both kneele .

1 Peace foole : tremble , and kneele : The Moone saist thou ? Our eyes are dazled by Elizaes beames , See ( if at least thou dare see ) where shee sits : This is the great Panthaeon of our Goddesse , And all those faces which thine eyes thought starres , Are Nymphes attending on her deitie . Prithee begin , for I want power to speake . 2 No , no , speake thou , I want words to begin . Weepes . 1 Alacke what shall I doe ? com'st thou with me , And weepst now thou beholdst this Maiestie ? 2 Great land-lady of hearts , pardon me . 1 Blame not mine eyes , good father , in these teares . 2 My pure loue shines , as thine doth in thy feares : I weepe for ioy to see so many heads Of prudent Ladies , clothed in the liuerie Of siluer-handed age , for seruing you , Whilst in your eyes youthes glory doth renue : I weepe for ioy to see the Sunne looke old , To see the Moone mad at her often change , To see the Starres onely by night to shine , Whilst you are still bright , still one , still diuine : I weepe for ioy to see the world decay , Yet see Eliza flourishing like May : O pardon me your Pilgrim , I haue measurd Many a mile to find you : and haue brought , Old Fortunatus and his family , With other Cipnots ( my poore countrie men ) To pay a whole yeeres tribute : O vouchsafe , Dread Queene of Fayries , with your gracious eyes , T' accept theirs and our humble sacrifice . 1 Now i le beg for thee too : and yet I need not : Her sacred hand hath euermore beene knowne , As soone held out to straungers as her owne . 2 Thou doest incourage me : I le fetch them in , They haue no princely gifts , we are all poore , Our offrings are true hearts , who can wish more ? Exeunt . OF Loues sweete war , our timerous Muse doth sing , And to the bosome of each gentle deare , Offence her Artles tunes , borne on the wing Of sacred Poesy . A benumming feare , ( That your nice soules , cloyd with dilicious sounds , Will loath her lowly notes ) makes her pull in Her fainting pineons , and her spirit confounds Before the weake voice of her song begin . Yet since within the circle of each eye , ( Being like so many Suns in his round Sphere ) No wrinckle yet is seene , shee le dare to flie , Borne vp with hopes , that as you oft do reare With your faire hands , those who would els sinke down , So some will deigne to smile , where all might frown : And for this smal Circumference must stand , For the imagind Sur-face of much land , Of many kingdomes , and since many a mile , Should here be measurd out : our muse intreats , Your thoughts to helpe poore Art , and to allow , That I may serue as Chorus to her scences , She begs your pardon , for shee le send me foorth , Not when the lawes of Poesy doe call , But as the storie needes , your gracious eye Giues life to Fortunatus historie . Exit .
THE COMEDIE OF Olde Fortunatus . Enter Fortunatus meanely attired , hee walkes ere he speake once or twice about cracking Nuts . Fortunatus .

SD , ho , ho , ho , ho .

Eccho

within , Ho , ho , ho , ho ,

Fortun.

There boy .

Eccho .

There boy .

Fort.

And thou bee'st a goodfellow , tel me how thou cal'st this wood .

Eccho .

This wood .

Fort.

I this wood , & which is my best way out

Eccho .

Best way out .

Fort.

Ha , ha , ha , that s true , my best way out , is my best way out , but how that out will come in , by this Maggot I know not , I see by this we are all wormes meate : well , I am very poore and verie patient , Patience is a vertue : would I were not vertuous , that s to say , not poore , but full of vice , ( that 's to say , ful of chinckes ) Ha , ha , so I am , for I am so full of chinckes , that a Horse with one eye may looke through and through me , I haue sighed long , and that makes me windie : I haue fasted long , and that makes me chast , marie I haue praied little , and that makes mee I still daunce in this coniuring circle : I haue wandred long , and that makes me wearie ; but for my wearinesse , anon I le lie downe , in steade of fasting i le féede vpon Nuts , and in stead of sighing will laugh and bee leane , Sirra , Eccho .

Eccho ,

Sirra Eccho .

Fortu.

Here s a Nut .

Eccho

Here s a Nut .

Fort.

Cracke it .

Eccho ,

Cracke it .

Fort.

Hang thy selfe .

Eccho ,

Hang thy selfe .

Fort.

Th' art a knaue , a knaue .

Eccho ,

A knaue , a knaue ,

Fort.

Ha , ha , ha , ha .

Eccho ,

Ha , ha , ha , ha .

Fortunat.

Why so , two fooles laugh at one another , I at my little tattle gammer eccho , and shee at me . Shortly there will créepe out in print some filthie booke of the olde hoarie wandring Knight , meaning me : would I were that booke , for then I should be sure to créepe out from hence : I should bee a good souldiour , for I trauerse my ground rarely , marrie I sée neither enemie nor friends , but Popiniayes , and Squirrels , and Apes , and Owles , and Dawes , and Wagtailes , and the spite is that none of these grasse-eaters can speake my language , but this foole that mockes me , and sweares to haue the last word ( in spite of my téeth ) I , and shee shall haue it because shee is a woman , which kind of cattell are indéede all Eccho , nothing but tongue , and are like the great bell of S. Michaels in Cyprus , that kéepes most rumbling when men would most sléepe .

Eccho ,

a poxe on thée for mocking me .

Eccho ,

a poxe on thée for mocking me .

Fortunat.

Why so , Snip snap , this warre is at an end , but this wildernesse is world without end , to sée how trauell can transforme : my teeth are turn'd into Nut crackers , a thousand to one I breake out shortly , for I am full of nothing , but waxing kernels , my tongue speakes no language but an Almond for Parrat , and cracke me this Nut : If I hop thrée daies more vp and downe this cage of Coockooes nests , I shall turne wilde man sure , and be hyred to throw Squibs among the Comminaltie vpon some terrible day . In the meane time to tell truth here will I lie . Farwell foole .

Eccho ,

farwell foole .

Fort.

Are not these comfortable words to a wise man ? All haile Signior trée , by your leane i le sléepe vnder your leaues , I pray bow to me , and i le bend to you , for your backe and my browes must , I doubt , haue a game or two at Noddie erre I wake againe : downe great heart , downe . Hey , ho , well , well .

He lyes downe and sleepes : Enter a Gardiner , a Smith , a Monke , a Shepheard all crown'd , a Nimph with a Globe , another with Fortunes wheele , then Fortune : After her fowre Kings with broken Crownes and Scepters , chained in siluer Giues and led by her . The foremost come out singing . Fortune takes her Chaire , the Kings lying at her feete , shee treading on them as shee goes vp . The Song . Fortune smiles , cry holyday , Dimples on her chéekes doe dwell , Fortune frownes , cry wellada , Her loue is heauen , her hate is hell : Since heauen and hell obey her power , Tremble when her eyes doe lowre , Since heauen and hell her power obey , When shée smiles , crie holy day . Holy-day with ioy we cry And bend , and bend and merily , Sing Hymnes to Fortunes deitie , Sing Hymnes to Fortunes deitie . All . Let vs sing , merrily , merrily , merrily , With our song let heauen resound , Fortunes hands our heads haue crown'd , Let vs sing merrily , merrily , merrily . 1. King . Accursed Quéene of chaunce , what had we done , Who hauing sometimes like young Phaetons , Ryd in the burnisht Charriot of the Sun , And sometimes béene thy minions , when thy fingers Wean'd wanton loue-nets in our curled hayre , And with swéete iugling kisses warm'd our chéekes : Oh how haue we offended thy proud eyes , That thus we should be spurnd and trod vpon , Whilst those infected limmes of the sicke world , Are fixt by thée for starres in that bright Sphere , Where in our Sunne like Radiance did appeare . All the Kings . Accursed Quéene of chaunce , damn'd sorceresse . The rest . Most powr'full Quéene of chaunce dread soueraignnesse . Fort. No more : curse on : your cries to me are Musicke , And fill the sacred roundure of mine eares , With tunes more swéete then mouing of the Spheres : Curse on : on our celestiall browes doe sit Un numbred smiles , which then leaps from their throne , When they sée Peasants daunce and Monarches groane . Behold you not this Globe , this golden bowle , This toy cal'd worlde at our Imperiall féete ? This world is Fortunes ball wherewith she sports . Sometimes I strike it vp into the ayre , And then create I Emperours and kings : Sometimes I spurne it : at which spurne crawles out That wild beast multitude : curse on you fooles , T is I that tumble Princes from their thrones , And gild false browes with glittering diadems , T is I that tread on neckes of Conquerours , And when like Semi-gods they haue béene drawne , In Iuorie Charriots to the capitoll , Circled about with wonder of all eyes , The shouts of euery tongue , loue of all hearts , Being swolne wit their own greatnesse , I haue prickt The bladder of their pride , and made them die , As water bubbles ( without memorie ) I thrust base cowards into Honours chaire , Whilst the true spirited Souldiour stands by Bare headed , and all bare , whilst , at his skarres They skoffe , that nere durst view the face of warres . I set an Idéots cap on vertues head , Turne learning out of doores , clothe wit in ragges , And paint ten thousand Images of Leame , In gawdie silken colours : on the backes Of Mules and Asses I make asses ride , Onely for sport , to see the Apish world Worship such beasts with sound idolatrie . This Fortune does , and when this is done , She sits and smiles to heare some curse her name , And some with adoration crowne her fame . Monck . True center of this wide circumference , Sacred commaundresse of the destinies , Our tongues shall onely sownd thy excellence . The rest . Thy excellence our tongues shall onely sound . The second King . Thou painted strumpet , that with honied smiles , Openest the gates of heauen and criest , Come in , Whose glories being séene , thou with one frowne , ( In pride ) lower then hell tumblest vs downe . All Kings . Euer for euer wil we banne thy name . Fort. How swéete your howlings rellish in mine eares ? Stand by ; now rise , behold , here lies a wretch , She comes downe . To vex your soules , this begger i le aduaunce Beyond the sway of thought , take instruments , And let the raptures of choice Harmonie , Through the hollow windings of his eare , Musicke a while , and he waketh Carrie their sacred sounds , & wake each sence , To stand amaz'd at our bright Eminence . Fortunat. Oh , how am I transported ? Is this earth ? Or blest Elizium ? Fortune . Fortunatus , rise . Fort. Dread Goddesse , how should such a wretch as I Be knowne to such a glorious deitie ? Oh pardon me : for to this place I come , Lead by my fate , not folly ; in this wood With wearie sorrow haue I wandered , And thrée times séene the sweating Sun take rest , And thrée times franticke Cynthia naked ride , About the rustie high-waies of the skies Stucke full of burning Starres , which lent her light To Court her Negro paramour grim night . Fortune . This trauell now expires : yet from this circle , Where I and these with fairie troopes abide , Thou canst not stir , vnlesse I be thy guide . I the worlds Empresse am Fortune my name , This hand hath written in thicke leaues of stéele , An euerlasting booke of changelesse Fate . Showing whoo 's happie , who vnfortunate . Fort. I feuerie name ( dread Quéene ) be there writ down . I am sure mine stands in Caracters of blacke , Though happines her selfe lie in my name , I am sorrowes heire , and eldest sonne to shame . The Kings . No , we are sons to shame , and sorrowes heires . Fortune . Thou shalt be one of Fortunes minions : Behold these foure chain'd like Tartarian slaues , These I created Emperours and Kings , And these are now my basest vnderlings : This sometimes was a Germane Emperour , Henry the fift , who being first depos'd , Was after thrust into a dungeon , And thus in siluer chaines shall rot to death . This Frederick Barbarossa Emperour Of Almaine once : but by Pope Alexander Now spurn'd and trod on when he takes his horse , And in these fetters shall he die his slaue . This wretch once wore the diademe of Fraunce , ( Lewes the méeke ) but through his childrens pride , Thus haue I caused him to be famished , Here stands the verie soule of miserie Poore Basazet old Turkish Emperour , And once the greatest Monarch in the East ; Fortune her selfe is said to veiw thy fall , And grieues to sée thée glad to licke vp crommes At the proud féete of that great Scithian swaine , Fortunes best minion , warlike Tamberlaine : Yet must thou in a cage of Iron be drawne In triumph at his héeles , and there in griefe Dash out thy braines . The third King . Oh miserable me . Fortune . No teares can melt the heart of destinie : These haue I rain'd and exalted those : These hands haue conquerd Spaine , these browes fill vp The golden circle of rich Portugall . Uiriat a Monarch now , but borne a shepherd . This Primislaus ( a Bohemian king ) Last day a Carter : this Monke Gregorie Now lifted to the Papall dignitie , Wretches , why gnaw you not your fingers off , And teare your tongues out , séeing your selues trod downe , And this Duch-Botcher wearing Munsters crowne ? Iohn Leyden borne in Holland poore and base , Now rich in Emperie and Fortunes grace . As these I haue aduaunc'd , so will I thee . Six gifts I spend vpon mortalitie , Wisedome , strength , health , beautie , long life , and riches , Out of my bountie : one of these is thine , Choose then which likes thée best . Fortunat. Oh most diuine : Giue me but leaue to borrow wonders eye , To looke ( amaz'd ) at thy bright maiestie , Wisedome , strength , health , beautie , long life and riches , Fortune . Before thy soule ( at this déepe Lotterie ) Draw foorth her prize , ordain'd by destinie , Know that here s no recanting a first choice . Choose then discréetly ( for the lawes of Fate , Being grauen in stéele , must stand inuiolate ) Fortunat. Daughters of Ioue and the vnblemisht night , Most righteous Parce , guide my Genius right , Wisedome , strength , health , beautie , long life , and riches . Fortune . Staie , Fortunatus , once more heare me speake , If thou kisse wisedomes chéeke and make her thine , Shée le breath into thy lips diuinitie , And thou ( like Phebus ) shalt speake Oracle , Thy heauen-inspired soule , on wisedomes wings , Shall flie vp to the Parliament of Ioue , And read the Statutes of eternitie , And sée what s past , and learne what is to come . If thou lay claime to strength , Armies shall quake , To see thée frowne : as Kings at mine doe lie , So shall thy féete trample on Emperie ; Make Health thine obiect , thou shalt be strong proofe , Gainst the deepe searching darts of surfetting . Be euer merrie , euer reuelling , Wish but for beautie , and within thine eyes , Two naked Cupids amorously shall swim , And on thy chéekes i le mixe such white and red , That Ioue shall turne away young Ganimede , And with immortall armes shall circle thée . Are thy desires long life ? thy vitall thread Shal be stretcht out , thou shalt behold the chaunge Of Monarchies , and sée those children die , Whose great great Graundsires now in cradles lie . If through Golds sacred hunger thou dost pine , Those gilded wantons which in swarmes doe runne , To warme their slender bodies in the sunne , Shall stand for number of those golden piles , Which in rich pride shall swell before thy féete , As those are ; so shall these be infinite . Awaken then thy soules best faculties , And gladly kisse this bounteous hand of Fate , Which striues to blesse thy name of Fortunate . The Kings . Old man , take héede , her smiles wil murder thée Th' other . Old man , shée le crowne thée with felicitie . Fort. Oh , whither am I wrap't beyond my selfe ? More violent conflicts fight in e'rie thought , Than his whose fatall choice Troyes downfall wrought . Shall I contract my selfe to wisedomes loue ? Then I lose riches : And a wiseman poore , Is like a sacred booke that s neuer read , To himselfe he liues , and to all els séemes dead . This age thinks better of a gilded foole , Then of a thréed bare Saint in wisedomes schoole . I will be strong : then I refuse long life , And though mine arme should conquer twentie worlds , There s a leane fellow beates all conquerours : The greatest strength expires with losse of breath . The mightiest ( in one minute ) stoope to death . Then take long life , or Health : should I doe so , I might grow vgly , and that tedious Scrole Of Months and yeeres , much miserie may enrole : Therefore i le beg for beautie ; yet I will not , The fairest chéeke hath oftentimes a soule Leaprous as sinne it selfe ; then hell more foule . The wisedome of this world is Idiotisme , Strength a weake réede : Health sicknesse enemie , ( And it at length will haue the victorie . ) Beautie is but a painting , and long life Is a long iorney in December gon , Tedious and full of tribulation . Therefore dread sacred Empresse make me rich , Kneele downe . My choice is store of gold ; the rich are wise . He that vpon his barke rich garments weares , Is wise , though on his head grow Midas eares . Gold is the strength , the sinnewes of the world , The Health , the soule , the beautie most diuine , A maske of Gold hides all deformities ; Gold is heauens phisicke , lifes restoratiue , Oh therefore make me rich : Not as the wretch , That onely serues leane banquets to his eye , Has Gold , yet starues : is famisht in his store : No , let me euer spend , be neuer poore . Fortune . Thy latest words confine thy destinie , Thou shalt spend euer , and be neuer poore : For proofe receiue this purse : with it this vertue , Still when thou thrusts thy hand into the same , Thou shalt draw foorth ten pieces of bright gold , Currant in any Realme where then thou breathest ; If thou can'st dribble out the Sea by drops , Then shalt thou want : but that can nere be don . Nor this grow emptie . Fortunat. Thankes , great deitie . Fortune . The vertue ends when thou and thy sonnes end , This path leades thée to Cyprus , get thée hence ; Farewel , vaine couetous foole , thou wilt repent , That for the loue of drosse thou hast despised Wisedomes diuine embrace , she would hane borne thée On the rich wings of immortalitie ; But now goe dwell with cares and quickly die . The Kings . We dwell with cares , yet cannot quickly die . Exeunt all singing , manet Fortunatus . Fortunat.

But now goe dwell with cares and quickly die ? How quickly ? if I die to morrow , i le be merrie to day : if next day , i le be merrie to morrow : goe dwell with cares ? Where dwels care ? Hum ha , in what house dwels care , that I may choose an honester neighbor ? In princes courts ? No , among faire Ladies , neither , there s no care dwels with them : but care how to be most gallant . Among gallants then ? Fie , fie , no : care is afraid sure of a guilt Rapier , the sent of Muske is her prison . Tobacco choakes her , rich attire presseth her to death . Princes , faire Ladies and gallants , haue amongst you then , for this weteide wench Care dwelles with wretches : they are wretches that féele want , I shall féele none if I be neuer poore , therefore care I casheire you my companie . I wonder what blinde Gossip this minx is that is so prodigall , she should be a good one by her open dealing : her name's Fortune : It s no matter what she is , so she does as she saies . Thou shalt spend euer , and bee neuer poore : Masse , yet I féele nothing here to make mee rich , here s no swéete Musicke with her siluer sound . Trie déeper : ho God be here : Ha , ha , 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7 , 8 , 9 and 10 , good , iust ten . Its gold sure , it s so heauie , trie againe , 1 , 2 , &c. Good againe , iust ten , and iust ten . Ha , ha , ha , this is rare a leather mint , admirable : an Indian mine in a Lambs skinne , miraculous : I le fill thré or fowre bagges full for my sonnes , but kéepe this for my selfe . If that leane tawnie face Tobacconist death , that turnes all into smoke , must turne me so quickly into ashes , yet I will not mourne in ashes , but in Musicke , hey old lad be merie . Here s riches , wisdome , strength , health , beautie , & long life . ( If I die not quickly , swéete purse I kisse thée , Fortune , I adore thée , Care , I despise thée , death , I defie thée .

Enter Ampedo , Shaddow after him , both sad : Andolocia after them . Andelo.

S'hart , why how now : two knights of the post ?

Shad.

I , master , and wee are both forsworne , as all such woodden knights be , for we both tooke an oath ( mary it was not corporall ) you may sée by our chéekes , that we would not fast twentie fowre houres to amend , and we haue tasted no meate since the clocke told two dozen .

Andel.

That lackes not much of twentie fowre , but I wonder when that halfe faced Moone of thine wil be at the ful .

Sha.

The next quarter , not this , when the signe is in Taurus .

Andel.

Ho that s to say , when thou eat'st bull beefe . But Shadow , what day is to day ?

Shad.

Fasting day .

Andel.

What day was yester-day ?

Shad.

Fasting day too .

Andel.

Will tomorrow be so too ?

Shad.

I , and next day too

Andel. That will be rare , you slaue : For a leane dyet makes a fat wit . Shad.

I had rather be a foole & weare a fat paire of chéekes .

Andel.

Now am I prowder of this pouertie , which I know is mine owne , then a wayting gentlewoman is , of a frizled groatesworth of haire , that neuer grewe on her head : Sirrha Shadow , now we can all thrée sweare like puritans at one bare word : this want makes vs like good bowlers , we are able to rub out and shift in euery place .

Shad.

That s not so , we haue shifted our selues in no place this thrée moneths : marrie , we rub out in euery corner , but here followes no amendement either of life or of liuerie .

Andel.

Why , brother Ampedo , art thou not yet tir'd with riding post ? Come , come , light from this logger-headed Iade , and walke a foote , and talke with your poore friends .

Shad.

Nay by my troth he is like me ; if his belly be emptie , his heart is full .

Andelo.

The famine of Gold gnawes his couetous stomacke , more then the want of good victuals : Thou hast lookt very deuilishly euer since the good Angel left thée : come , come , leaue this broad brim fashions , because the world frownes vpon thée , wilt not thou smile vpon vs ?

Ampe. Did but the bitternes of mine owne fortunes Infect my taste , I could paint ore my chéekes With ruddy-coloured smiles : t is not the want Of costly dyet or desire of gold , Inforce this rupture in my wounded brest . Oh no , our Father ( if he liue ) doth lie . Under the Iron foote of miserie , And ( as a Doue gript in a Faulcons claw ) There pant'th for life being most assur'd of death . Brother , for him my soule thus languisheth . Shad. T is not for my old Master that I languish . Amped. I am not enamoured of this painted Idoll , This strumpet world ; for her most beautious lookes Are poysned baits , hung vpon golden hookes , When fooles doe swim in wealth , her Cynthian beames Will wantonly daunce on the siluer streames : But when this squinteide age sées vertue poore , And by a litle sparke sits shiuering , Begging at all , relieu'd at no mans doore , She miles on her ( as the Sunne shines on fire ) To kill that little heate , and with her frowne Is proud , that she can treade poore vertue downe : Therefore her wrinckled brow makes not mine sowre , Her gifts are toyes , and I deride her power . Shad.

T is not the crab-trée fac'd world neither that makes mine sowre

Andelo.

Her gifts toyes : wel brother vertue , we haue let slip the ripe plucking of those toyes so long , that wee florish like Apple trées in September , ( which hauing the falling sicknes ) beare neither fruit nor leaues .

Shad.

Nay by my troth , master , none flourish in these withering times , but Auncient bearers and trumpettors .

Andelo.

Shaddow , when thou prouest a substance , then the trée of vertue and honestie , and such fruit of heauen shall florish vpon earth .

Shad.

True , or when the Sunne shines at midnight , or women flie , and yet they are light enough .

Andelo.

T was neuer merie world with vs , since purses and bags were inuented , for now men set lime twigges to catch wealth : And gold , which ryseth like the sunne out of the East Indies , to shine vpon euery one , is like a Conte taken napping in a Pursenet , and suffers his glistring yellow face deitie to be lapt vp in Lambskins , as if the innocencie of those leather prisons , should dispence with the Cheuerill consciences of the Iron harted Iaylers .

Shad.

Snudges may well be called Iaylers : for if a poore wretch steale but into a debt of tenne pound , they leade him straight to execution .

Andel.

Doth it not vex thée , Shaddow , to stalke vp and downe Cyprus , and to méete the out-side of a man , lapt all in Damaske , his head and beard as white as milke , onely with coniuring in the snowie circles of the field Argent , and his nose as red as Scarlet , onely with kissing the ruddie lippes of Angels , and such an Image to weare on his thumbe , thrée mens liuings in the shape of a seale King , whilst my brother vertue here ,

Shad.

And you his brother Uice .

Andel.

Most true , my little leane Iniquitie , whilst wee thrée , if we should starue , cannot borrow fiue shillings of him neither in word nor déede : does not this vexe thée , Shaddow ?

Shad.

Not me ; it vexes me no more to sée such a picture , then to sée an Asse laden with riches , because I know when hee can beare no longer , he must leaue his burthen to some other beast .

Andel.

Art not thou mad , to see money on Goldsmithes stalles , and none in our purses ?

Shad.

It mads not me , I thanke the destinies .

Andel.

By my pouertie , and that s but a thréed-bare oath , I am more then mad , to see silkes and veluets , lie crowding together in Mercers shops , as in prisons , onely for feare of the smell of waxe ( they cannot abide to see a man made out of waxe ) for these Satten commodities haue such smooth consciences , that thei le haue no man giue his word for them , or stand bownd for their comming foorth , but vow to lie till they rot in those shop Counters , except Monsieur money baile them . Shaddow , I am out of my little wits to sée this .

Shad.

So is not Shaddow : I am out of my wits , to sée fat gluttons feede all day long , whilst I that am leane , fast euery day : I am out of my wits , to sée our Famagosta fooles , turne halfe a shop of wares into a suite of gay apparrell , onely to make other Ideots laugh , and wisemen to crie who 's the foole now ? I am mad , to sée Souldiours beg , and cowards braue : I am mad , to sée Schollers in the Brokers shop , and Dunces in the Mercers : I am mad , to see men that haue no more fashion in them then poore Shaddow , yet must leape thrice a day into thrée orders of fashions : I am mad , to sée many things , but horne-mad , that my mouth féeles nothing .

Andel. Why , now shaddow , I sée thou hast a substance : I am glad to sée thée thus mad . Amped. The sonnes of Fortunatus had not woont , Thus to repine at others happines : But fooles haue alwaies this loose garment wore , Being poore themselues , they wish all others poore , Fie , brother Andelocia , hate this madnes , Turne your eyes inward , and behold your soule , That wants more then your body : burnish that With glittering Uertue : and make Ideots grieue , So see your beautious mind in wisedome shine , As you at their rich pouertie repine . Enter Fortunatus gallant . And. Peace , good vertue , Shad here comes another Shadow Shad. It should be a Camelion : for he is all in colours . Amp. Oh , t is my Father , With these teares of ioye , My loue and duetie greete your faire returne : A double gladnesse hath refresht my soule ; One , that you liue , and one , to sée your fate Lookes freshly howsoeuer poore in state . And. My father Fortunatus , & thus braue ? Sha. T is no wonder to sée a man braue , but a wonder how he comes braue . Fortunat. Deere Andelocia and sonne Ampedo , And my poore seruant Shaddow : plume your spirits With light-wingd mirth : for Fortunatus hand Can now powre golden showres into their laps , That sometimes scorn'd him for his want of gold . Boyes , I am rich , and you shall ne're be poore ; We are gold , spend gold , we all in gold will féede , Now is your father Fortunate indéede . Andel.

Father , be not angrie , if I set open the windowes of my mind : I doubt for all your bragging , you 'le prooue like most of our gallants in Famagosta , that haue a rich outside , & a beggerly inside , and like Mules weare gay trappings , and good Ueluet foote-clothes on their backes , yet champe on the Iron bitte of penurie , I meane , want coyne : You gild our eares with a talke of Gold , but I pray dazell our eyes with the maiestie of it .

Fort. First will I wake your sences with the sound Of golds swéete musicke : tell me what you heare ? Amp.

Belieue me , Sir , I heare not any thing .

Andel.

Ha , ha , ha . S hart , I thought as much , if I heare any gingling , but of the purse strings that goe flip , flap , flip , flap , flip , flap , would I were turnd into a flip-flap , and solde to the Butchers .

Fort.

Shaddow : I le trie thine eares , harke dost rattle ?

Shad.

Yes , like thrée blew Beanes in a blew bladder , rattle bladder , rattle : your purse is like my bellie , th' ones without money , th' other without meate .

Fort. Bid your eyes blame the error of your eares : You misbeléeuing Pagans , sée , here s gold , Ten golden pieces : take them , Ampedo . Hold , Andelocia , here are ten for thée . Ampe.

Shaddow , there s one for thée , prouide thée foode .

Fort.

Stay , boy : hold , Shad . here are ten for thée .

Shad.

Ten master ? then defiaunce to Fortune , & a Fig for famine .

Fort. Now tell me , wags , hath my purse gold or no ? Andel.

Wee the wags haue gold , Father ; but I thinke there s not one Angell more wagging in this sacred Temple ; why this is rare : Saddow , fiue will serue thy turne , giue me th' other fiue .

Shad.

Nay , soft master , liberalitie dyed long agoe : I sée some rich beggers are neuer well , but when they be crauing : My ten Duckets are like my ten fingers , they will not ieopard a ioynt for you : I am yours , and these are mine if I part from them , I shall neuer haue part of them .

Amp. Father , if heauen haue blest you once againe , Let not an open hand disperse that store ; Which gone , life s gone : for all treade downe the poore . Fort. Peace , Ampedo : talke not of pouertie , Disdaine , my boyes , to kisse the tawnie cheekes Of leane necessitie : make not inquirie , How I came rich : I am rich , let that suffice ; There are sowre leathern bags trust full of gold : Those spent , i le fill you more : goe lads , be gallant : Shine in the stréetes of Cyprus like two starres , And make them bow their knées that once did spurne you ; For to effect such wonders gold can turne you : Braue it in Famagosta , or els where , I le trauell to the Turkish Emperour : And then i le reuell it with Prester Iohn , Or banquet with great Cham of Tartarie , And trie what frolicke Court the Souldan kéepes ; I le leaue you presently : teare off these rags . Glitter , my boyes like Angels , that the world May ( whilst our life in pleasures circle comes ) Wonder at Fortunatus and his sonnes . Andel.

Come , Shaddow : now wée 'le feast it royalty .

Shad.

Doe , master , but take héede of beggerie . Exeunt .

Musick sounds : Enter vice with a gilded face , and hornes on her head : her garments long , painted before with siluer halfe moones , increasing by litle and litle , till they come to the full : in the midst of them in Capitall letters this written : CRESCITEVNDO : her garment painted behind with fooles faces & diuels heads : and vnderneath it in the midst this written , Ha , Ha , He : she and others wearing gilded visards , and attirde like deuils , bring out a faire tree of Gold with apples on it : after her comes Vertue , a coxecombe on her head , all in white before , and this written about the middle : Sibi sapit : her attire behind painted with Crownes , & Laurell garlands , stuck full of starres , held out by hands , thrust out of bright cloudes , and among them thus written , Dominabitur astris : Shee and other Nimphes all in white with coxecombs on their heads , bring a tree with greene and withered leaues mingled together , and litle fruit on it : after her Fortune , one bearing her Wheele , another her Globe ; and last , the Priest . Fortune . You ministers of Uertue , Uice , and Fortune , Teare off this vpper garment of the earth , And in her naked bosome sticke these trées . Vertue . How many kingdomes haue I measured , Onely to find a Climat apt to cherish These withering braunches ? but no ground can prooue So happie , ( ay mee ) none doe vertue loue ; I le , trie this soyle ; if here I likewise fade , To heauen i le flie , from whence I tooke my birth , And tel the Gods , I am banisht from the earth . Vice . Uertue , I am sworne they foe : if there thou plant , Here opposite to thine , my trée shall florish , And ( as the running wood-bind ) spread her armes , To choke thy withering boughes in their embrace , I le driue thee from this world : were Uertue fled , Uice as an Angel should be honoured . Fort. Seruants of this bright diuell & that poore Saint . Applie your talke whilst you are labouring : To make your paines séeme short our priest shall sing . The song : whilst he sings , the rest set the trees into the earth . Priest . Uertues braunches wither , vertue pines , O pittie , pittie , and alacke the time , Uice doth florish , Uice in glorie shines , Her gilded boughes aboue the Cedar clime . Uice hath golden cheekes , O pittie , pittie , She in euery land doth monarchize . Uertue is exilde from euery Cittie , Uertue is a foole , Uice onely wise . O pittie , pittie , Uertue wéeping dies . Uice laughs to see her faint ( alacke the time ) This sinckes : with painted wings the other flies , Alacke that best should fall , and bad should clime , O pittie , pittie , pittie , mourne , not sing , Uice is a Saint , Uertue an vnderling . Uice doth florish , Uice in glorie shines , Uertues braunches wither , Uertue pines . Fort. Florish or wither , Fortune cares not which , In eithers fall or height our Eminence Shines equall to the Sunne : the Queene of chance Both vertuous soules and vicious doth aduance . These shadowes of your selues shall ( like your selues , ) Striue to make men enamoured of their beauties , This groue shall be our temple ; and henceforth Be consecrated to our deities . Vert. How few will come and knéele at vertues shrine ? Vice . This contents vertue , that she is cal'd diuine . Fort. Poore Uertue , Fortune grieues to see thy lookes Want cunning to intice : Why hang these leaues , As loose as Autumnes haire ( which euery wind , In mockerie blowes from his rotten browes ? ) Why like a drunkard art thou pointed at ? Why is this Motley-scorne set on thy head ? Why stands thy Court wide open , but none in it ? Why are the Christall pauements of thy temple , Not worne , not trod vpon : All is for this , Because thy pride is to weare base attire , Because thine eyes flame not with amorous fire . Vert. Uertue is fairest in a poore aray . Fort. Poore foole , t is not this badge of puritie , Nor Sibi sapit , ( painted on thy breast , ) Allures mortalitie to seeke thy loue . No : now the great whéele of thy Globe hath runne , And met his first point of creation . On Crutches went this world but yester-day , Now it lies bed-rid ; and is growne so old , That it s growne young , for t is a child againe , A childish soule it hath , t is a méere foole : And fooles and children are well pleasde with toyes : So must this world , with shewes it must be pleased . Then Uertue , buy a golden face like Uice , And hang thy bosome full of siluer Moones , To tell the credulous world , As those increase , As the bright Moone swelles in her pearled Spheare , So wealth and pleasures them to heauen shall reare . Vert. Uertue abhorres to weare a borrowed face . Vice . Why hast thou borrowed then that Idiots hood ? Vert. Fooles plac'd it on my head that knew me not , And I am proud to weare the scorne of fooles . Fort. Mourne in that pride & die ; all the world hates thée . Vert. Not all , i le wander once more through the world : Wisedome I know hath with her blessed wings Fled to some bosome : if I méete that brest , There i le erect my temple , and there rest . Fortune nor Uice , shall then ere haue the power , ( By their loose eyes ) to intice my Paramour ; Then will I cast off this deformitie , And shine in glorie , and triumph to sée You conquerd at my féete , that tread on me . Fort. Uertue begins to quarrell : Uice , farewell . Vice . Stay , Fortune , whilst within this Groue we dwel , If my Angelicall and Saint-like forme Can win some amorous foole to wanton here , And taste the fruite of this alluring trée , Thus shall his sawcie browes adorned bée , Makes hornes . To make vs laugh . Fort. It will be rare : adiew . Ver. Foule hel-bred fiend , Uertue shall striue with you , If any be enamoured of thine eyes , Their loue must néedes beget deformities . Men are transformed to beastes , feasting with sinne ; But if ( in spite of thée ) their soules I winne , To taste this fruite , though thou disguise their head , Their shapes shall be re-metamorphosed . Vice . I dare thée doe thy worst . Vert. My best i le trie . Fort. Fortune shall iudge who winnes the soueraigntie . Enter Chorus . Exeunt . Chorus . The world to the circumference of heauen , Is as a small point in Geometrie , Whose greatnes is so little , that a lesse Cannot be made : into that narrow roome , Your quicke imaginations we must charme , To turne that world : and ( turn'd ) againe to part it Into large kingdomes , and within one moment , To carrie Fortunatus on the wings Of actiue thought , many a thousand miles . Suppose then since you last beheld him here , That you haue saild with him vpon the seas , And leapt with him vpon the Asian shores , Béene feasted with him in the Tartars palace , And all the Courts of each Barbarian kings : From whence ( being cald by some vnluckie starre , ) ( For happines never continues long ) Helpe me to bring him backe to Arragon ; Where for his pride ( Riches make all men proude ) On a slight quarrell , by a covetous Earle , Fortune's dear minion is imprisoned : There thinke you see him sit with folded armes , Teares dropping downe his cheekes , his white hairs torne , His legges in rusty fetters , and his tongue Bitterly cursing that his squint-eide soule Did not make choice of wisedome's sacred love ; Fortune ( to triumph in unconstancie ) , From prison bailes him ; ( libertie is wild ) For being set free , he like a lustie eagle , Cuts with his ventrous feathers through the skie , And lights not till he finds the Turkish court . Thither transport your eyes , and there behold him , Revelling with the Emperour of the East ; From whence ( through feare ) for safegard of his life , ( Flying into the armes of ugly night , ) Suppose you see him brought to Babylon ; And that the Sunne ( clothed all in fire ) hath rid One quarter of his hot celestial way With the bright morning , and that in this instant , He and the Soldan meete , but what they say , Listen you , the talke of Kings none dare bewray . Exit . Enter the Soldan , his Noblmen , and Fortunatus . Sould. Art thou that Fortunatus , whose great name , Being carried in the Charriot of the winds , Has fild the Courts of all our Asian Kings , With love and envie , whose dear presence tyes The eyes of admiration to thine eyes ? Art thou that Iove that in a shower of gold Appearedst before the Turkish Emperour ? Fort. I am that Fortunatus , mightie Souldan . Sould. Where is that purse which threw abroad such treasure ? Fort. I gave it to the Turkish Soliman , A second I bestowed on Prester Iohn , A third the great Tartarian Cham received : For with these Monarches have I banquetted , And rid with them in triumph through their courts , In crystall Charriots drawne by Unicornes . England , Fraunce , Spaine , and welthy Belgia , And all the rest of Europs blessed daughters , Have made my covetous eye rich in th' embrace Of their celestiall beauties ; now I come To see the glory of faire Babylon . Is Fortunatus wel-come to the Soldan ? For I am like the Sunne , if Iove once chide , My gilded browes from amorous heaven I hide . Sould. Most welcome ; and most happie are mine armes In circling such an earthly deitie : But will not Fortunatus make me blessed By sight of such a purse ? Fort. Ere I depart , The Soldan shall receive one at my hands : For I must spend some time in framing it , And then some time to breathe that vertuous spirit Into the heart thereof , all which is don By a most sacred inspiration . Sould. Wel-come , most welcome , to the Soldans court ; Stay here , and be the King of Babylon , Stay here , and I will more amaze thine eyes With wondrous sights , then can all Asia . Behold you towre , there stands mine Armourie , In which are Corslets forg'd of beaten gold , To arme ten hundred thousand fighting men , Whose glittering squadrons when the Sunne beholds , They seeme like to ten hundred thousand Ioves , When Iove on the proud backe of thunder rydes , Trapt all in lightning flames : there can I shew thee The ball of gold that set all Troy on fire ; There shalt thou sée the skarfe of Cupids mother , Snatcht from the soft moyst Iuorie of her arme , To wrap about Adonis wounded thigh ; There shalt thou sée a whéele of Titans care , Which dropt from heauen when Phaeton fir'd the world : I le give thée ( if thou wilt ) two siluer Dooues Compos'd by Magicke to diuide the ayre , Who ( as they flie ) shall play their siluer wings , And giue straunge musicke to the Elements , I le giue thée els the fanne of Proserpine , Which in reward ( for a sweete Thracian song , ) The black-browd Empresse threw to Morpheus , Being come to fetch Euridice from hell . Fort. Hath euer mortall eye beheld these wonders ? Sould. Thine shall behold them , and make choice of any , So thou wilt giue the Souldan such a purse . Fort. By Fortunes blessed hand ( who christned me , ) The mightie Souldan shall haue such a purse , Prouided I may sée these prizelesse wonders . Exeunt Nobles . Sould. Leaue vs alone : neuer was mortal eare Acquainted with the vertue of a Iewell , Which now i le shew , ( out-valuing all the rest . ) Fort. It is impossible . Sould. Behold this Casket , — Draw a Curtaine . Fettered in golden chaines , the Lock pure gold , The key of sollide gold , which my selfe kéepe , And here s the treasure that s containd in it . Takes out the Hat Fort. A course felt Hat ? is this the precious Iewel ? Sould. I le not exchaunge this , for ten Diadems . On paine of death , none listen to our talke . Fort. What néedes this solemne coniuration ? Sould. O , yes , for none shall vnderstand the worth Of this inestimable ornament , But you : and yet not you , but that you sweare By her white hand , that lent you such a name , To leaue a wondrous purse in Babylon . Fort. 〈…〉 I will not violate , But now vncouer the vertues of this Hatte . Sould. I think none listen ; if they doe , they die . Fort. None listen : tell : what néedes this iealousie ? Sould. You sée t is poore in shew ; did I want Iewels , Gold could beget them , but the wide worlds wealth Buyes not this Hat ; this clapt vpon my head , I ( onely with a wish ) am through the ayre , Transported in a moment ouer Seas , And ouer lands to any secrete place ; By this I steale to euery Princes court , And heare their priuate councels and preuent All daungers which to Babylon are meant . By helpe of this I oft sée armies ioyne , Though when the dreadfull Aluarado sounds , I am distant from the place a thousand leagues , Oh , had I such a purse and such a Hat , The Souldan were , of all , most fortunate . Fort. Oh , had I such a Hat , then were I braue . Where s he that made it ? Sould. Dead , and the whole world Yeelds not a workman that can frame the like . For. No does ? by what trick shal I make this mine ? Aside . Me thinkes , me thinkes , when you are borne o're Seas , And ouer lands , the heauinesse thereof Should waigh you downe , drowne you , or breake your necke . Sould. No , t is more light then any Hat beside : Your hand shall peise it . For. Oh , t is wondrous heauie . Sould. Fie , ya 're deceau'd : trie it vpon your head , Fort. Would I were now in Cyprus with my sons . Exit . Sould. Stay , Fortunatus , stay , I am vndone . Treason , Lords , treason , get me wings , i le flie After this damn'd Traytor through the ayre . Enter Nobles . Nob. Who wrongs the mightie king of Babylon ? Sould. This Fortunatus , this fend wrongs your king . Nobl. Locke the Court gates , where is the diuell hid ? Sould. No gates no grates of Iron imprison him , Like a Magician breakes he through the clouds ; Bearing my soule with him , for that Iewell gon , I am dead , and all is drosse in Babylon . Flie after him , t is vaine , on the winds wings , Hée le ride through all the Courts of earthly kings . Nobl. What is the Iewell that your grace hath lost ? Sould. He dies that troubles me : call me not king ; For i le consume my life in sorrowing . Exeunt . Enter Andelocia very gallant , and Shaddow . Andel.

Shaddow ? what haue I lost to day at dice ?

Shad.

More then you will win againe in a month .

Andel.

Why sir , how much comes it to ?

Shad.

It comes to nothing , Sir , for you haue lost your wits , and when a mans wistes are lost , the man is like twentie pounds worth of Tobacco , which mounts into th' aire , and prooues nothing but one thing .

Andelo.

And what thing is that , you Asse ?

Sha.

Marrie sir , that he is an asse that melts so much money in smoke .

Andel.

T were a charitable déed to hang thée a smoking .

Shad.

I should neuer make good bacon , because I am not fat .

Andel.

I le be sworne thy wit is leane .

Shad.

Its happie I haue a leane wit : but master , you haue none ; for when your money slipt away , that went after it , and euer since you haue béene mad , here com's your brother ; borrow a dramme of him . Enter Ampedo . If his be not mouldie : for mens wits in these daies , A're like the Cuckoo , bald once a yeere and that makes Metley so deere , and fooles so good cheape .

Andel.

Brother , all haile .

Shad.

There s a ratling salutation .

Andel.

You must lend me some more money : Nay neuer looke so straunge , and you will come off , so : if you will barre me from square play , doe : come come , when the old traueller my Father comes home , like a young Ape , full of fantasticke trickes , or a painted Parrat stucke full of outlandish feathers , hae le leade the world in a string , and then ( like a hot shot ) I le charge and discharge all .

Shad.

I would be loth , master , to sée that day : for he leades the world in a string that goes to hanging .

And. Take héede I turne not that head into the world , and leade you so ? Brother wilt be ? Hay any ends of Gold or Siluer ? Amp. Thus wanton reuelling bréedes beggerie . Brother , t were better that you still liu'd poore . Want would make wisedome rich : but when your Coffers Swell to the brim , then ryot sets vp sayles , And like a desperate vnskild Mariner Driues your vnsteddie fortunes on the point Of wracke ineuitable ; of all the wealth , Left ( by our Father , when he left vs last ) This little is vnspent , and this being wasted , Your ryot ends ; therefore consume it all , I le liue ; or dying , find some buriall . Thankes for my crownes . Andel.

Shaddow , I am villainous hungrie , to heare one of the seuen wise Masters talke thus emptily .

Shad.

I am a villaine , master , if I am not hungrie .

Andel.

Because i le saue this gold , sirra Shaddowe , wée le féede our selues with Paradoxes .

Shad.

Oh rare : what meat 's that ?

Andel.

Meate , you gull : t is no meate : a dish of Paradoxes is a feast of straunge opinion , t is an ordinarie that our greatest gallants haunt nowadaies , because they would be held for Statesmen .

Shad.

I shall neuer fil my belly with opinions .

And.

In despite of sway-bellies , gluttons , & swéet mouth'd Epicures , I le haue thée maintaine a Paradox in commendations of hunger .

Shad.

I shall neuer haue the stomacke to doo 't .

And.

Séest thou this Crusado ? do it , & turne this into a feast

Shad.

Couetousnesse and lecherie are two diuels , they 'le tempt a man to wade through déepe matters : I le doo 't though good cheare conspire my death , for speaking treason against her .

Andel.

Fall to it then with a full mouth .

Shad.

Oh famine , inspire me with thy miserable reasons . I begin , master .

Amp.

O miserable inuocation .

Andel.

Silence .

Shad.

There s no man but loues one o l these thrée-beastes , a Horse , a Hound , or a Whore ; the Horse by his goodwill , has his head euer in the maunger ; the Whore with your ill will has her hand euer in your purse ; and a hungrie Dogge eates durtie puddings .

Andel.

This is profound , forward : the conclusion of this now .

Shad.

The conclusion is plaine : For since all men loue one of these thrée monsters , being such terrible eaters , therefore all men loue hunger .

Amp.

A very leane argument .

Shad.

I can make it no fatter .

Andel.

Procéede , good Shaddow ; this fats me .

Shad.

Hunger is made of Gun-powder .

Andel.

Giue fire to that opinion .

Shad.

Stand by , lest it blow you vp : hunger is made of Gun-powder , or Gun-powder of hunger ; for they both eate through stone walles ; hunger is a grindstone , it sharpens wit , hunger is fuller of loue then Cupid , for it makes a man eate himselfe ; hunger was the first that euer open'd a Cookes shop ; Cookes the first that euer made sawce ; sawce being lickerish , lickes vp good meate ; good meate preserues life : Hunger therefore preserues life .

Amp.

By my consent thou shouldst still liue by hunger .

Shad.

Not so , hunger makes no man mortall : hunger is an excellent Physition : for hee dares kill any body : hunger is one of the seuen liberall sciences .

Andel.

O learned ? Which of the seuen ?

Shad.

Musicke , for shée le make a man leape at a crust : but , as few care for her sixe sisters , so none loue to daunce after her pipe : Hunger , master , is hungrie and couetous , therefore the Crusado .

Andel.

But hast thou no sharper reasons then this ?

Shad.

Yes one : the dagger in Cyprus had neuer stabd out such sixe penie pipes , but for hunger .

And.

Why , you dolt , these pies are but in their minority .

Shad.

My belly and my purse haue beene twentie times at daggers drawing , with parting the little vrchins .

Enter Fortunatus . Ampe.

Peace , Idiot , peace , my Father is return'd .

Fort.

Touch mee not , boyes , I am nothing but ayre , let none speake to me , till you haue markt me well .

Shad.

Now speake your mind .

Amp.

Uillaine , why hast thou chalkt my Fathers backe ?

Shad.

Onely to marke him , & to trie what colour aire is of .

Fort.

Regard him not , Ampedo : Andelocia , Shaddowe : view me , am I as you are , or am I transform'd ?

And.

I thought trauel would turne my father , mad man or foole .

Amp.

How should you be transform'd I see no chaunge .

Shad.

If your wits be not planet strucken , if your braines lie in their right place , you are well inough ; for your body is little mended by you fetching fegaries .

Andel.

Mee thinkes , father , you looke as you did , onely your face is more withered .

Fort.

That s not my fault , age is like loue , it cannot be hid .

Shad.

Or like Gun-powder a fire , or like a foole , or like a young no uice new come to his lands ; for all these will shew of what hause they come : now sir , you may amplifie .

Fort.

Shaddow , turne thy tongue to a shaddow , be silent : Boyes be proud , your Father hath the whole world in this compasse , I am all felicitie , vp to the brummes . In a minute am I come from Babylon , I haue béene this halfe howre in Famagosta .

And.

How ? in a minute , father ? Ha , ha , I sée trauellers must lie .

Shad.

T is their destinie : the Fates doe so conspire .

Fort.

I haue cut through the ayre like a Falcon ; I would haue it séeme straunge to you .

Shad.

So it does , Sir .

Fort.

But t is true : I would not haue you belieue it neither

Shad.

No more we doe not , Sir .

Fort.

But t is miraculous & true : desire to sée you , brought me to Cyprus ; i le leaue you more Gold , and goe visite more Countries .

Sha.

Leaue vs gold inough , and wée le make all Countries come visit vs .

Amp. The frostie hand of age now nips your bloud , And strowes her snowie flowers vpon your head , And giue you warning that within few yeeres , Death néedes must marrie you : those short lines minutes , That dribble out your life , must néedes be spent , In peace not trauell : rest in Cyprus then . Could you suruaie ten worlds , yet you must die ; And bitter is the swéete that s reapt thereby . And.

Faith father , what pleasure haue you met by walking your stations ?

Fort.

What pleasure , boy ? I haue reueld with kings , daunc'd with Quéenes , dallied with Ladies , worne straunge attires , séene fantasticoes , conuerst with humorists , béene rauisht with diuine raptures of Dorick , Lidian and Phrigian harmonies , I haue spent the day in triumphes , and the night in banquesting .

Andel.

Oh rare : this was heauenly .

Shad.

Me thinkes t' was horrible .

Andel.

He that would not be an Arabian Phenix to burne in these swéete fires , let him liue like an Owle for the world to wonder at .

Amp.

Why , brother , are not all these vanities :

Fort.

Uanities ? Ampedo , thy soule is made of lead , too dull , too ponderous to mount vp to the incomprehensible glorie , that trauell lifts men to .

Shad.

My olde masters soule is Corke and feathers , and being so light doth easily mount vp .

Ande.

Swéeten mine eares , good father , with some more .

Fort, When in the warmth of mine owne countries armes We yawn'd like sluggards , when this small Horizon Imprison'd vp my body , then mine eyes Worshipt these clouds as brightest ; but , my boyes , The glistring beames which doe abroad appeare , ( In other heauens ) fire is not halfe so cleare . Shad. Why , sir , are there other heauens in other countries ? Andel. Peace , interrupt him not vpon thy life . For. For still in all the Regions I haue séene , I scorn'd to crowd among the muddie throng Of the rancke multitude , whose thickned breath , Like to condensed Fogs doe choake that beautie , Which els would dwell in euery kingdomes chéeke . No , I still boldly stept into their Courts , For there to liue t is rare , O t is diuine ; There shall you sée faces Angelicall , There shall you see troopes of chast Goddesses , Whose star-like eyes haue power , ( might they still shine ) To make night day , and day more christalline . Néere these you shall behold great Heroes , White headed Councellors and Iouiall spirites , Standing like fierie Cherubins to gard The Monarch , who in God-like glorie sits . In midst of these , as if this deitie Had with a looke created a new world ; The standers by , being the faire workemanship . Andel. Oh how my soule is rapt to a third heauen . I le trauell sure , and liue with none but kings . Shad.

Then Shaddow must die among knaues ; and yet why so ? in a bunch of Cards , knaues waite vpon the kings .

And.

When I turne king , then shalt thou waite on me .

Shad.

Well , there s nothing impossible : a dog has his day , and so haue you .

Amp. But tell me , father , haue you in all courts Beheld such glorie , so maiesticall ? In all perfection ? no way blemished ? Fort. In some Courts shall you see ambition Sit piecing Dedalus old waxen wings , But being clapt on , and they about to flie , Euen when their hopes are busied in the clouds , They melt against the Sunne of majestie , And downe they tumble to destruction : For since the heavens strong armes teach kings to stand , Angels are plac'd about their glorious throne , To gard it from the strokes of Traitrous hands . By travell , boyes , I haue seen all these things , Fantasticke complement stalkes up and downe , Trickt in out-landish Fethers , all his words , His lookes , his oathes , are all ridiculous , All apish , childish , and Italianate . Enter Fortune : after her three destinies working . Shad. I know a medicine for that maladie . Fort. By travell , boyes , I have seen all these things . Andel. And these are sightes for none , but gods & kings . Shad. Yes , and for Christen creatures , if they be not blind . Fort. In these two hands doe I gripe all the world . This leather purse , and this bald woollen Hat Make me a Monarch : here s my Crowne and Scepter . In progresse will I now goe through the world . I le cracke your shoulders , boyes , with bags of gold Ere I depart ; on Fortune's wings I ride , And now sit in the height of humane pride . Fortune . Now , foole , thou liest ; where thy proud feete doe tread These shal throw downe thy cold & breathlesse head . Fort. O sacred deitie , what sinne is done All kneele . That deaths Iron fist should wrestle with thy sonne ? Fortune . Thou art no sonnne of Fortune , but her slave : Thy Cedar hath aspir'd to his full height . Thy Sunne like glorie hath advaunc'd herselfe Into the top of prides Meridian , And downe amaine it comes . From beggerie I plum'd thee like an Estrich , like that Estrich Thou hast eaten Metals , and abusde my giftes , Hast plaid the Ruffian , wasted that in ryots , Which as a blessing I bestowed on thee . Fort. Forgive me , I will be more provident . Fortune . No , endlesse follies follow endlesse wealth . Thou hadst thy fancie , I must have thy fate , Which is , to die when th' art most fortunate . This inckie thread thy ugly sinnes have spun , Black life , black death : faster that it were don . Fort. Oh , let me live , but till I can redeeme . Fortune . The destinies denie thee longer life . Fort. I am but now lifted to happiness . Fortune . And now take I must pride to cast thee downe . Hadst thou chosen wisedome , this blacke had been white , And deaths sterne browe could not thy soul afright . Fort. Take this againe ; give wisedome to my sonnes . Fortune . No , foole , 't is now too late ; as death strikes thee , So shall their ends sudden and wretched bee . Ioves daughters ( righteous destinies ) make haste , His life hath wastefull beene , and let it waste . Exeunt . Andel.

Why the pox doest thou sweat so ?

Shad.

For anger to see any of Gods Creatures have such filthie faces as these Semsters had that went hence .

Andel.

Semsters ? why , you asse , they are destinies .

Shad.

Indeede , if it be ones destinie to have a filthie face , I know no remedie but to goe maskt and crie , Woe worth the Fates .

Amp. Why droopes my father ? these are onely shadowes , Raiz'd by the malice of some enemie , To fright your life , o're which they have no power . Shad.

Shaddowes ? I defie their kinred .

Fort.

O Ampedo , I faint ; helpe me , my sonnes .

Andel.

Shaddow , I pray thee runne and call more helpe .

Shad.

If that desperate Don Dego death hath tane vp the Cudgels once , here s neuer a Fencer in Cyprus dare take my old masters part .

Andel.

Runne , villaine , call more helpe .

Shad.

Bid him thanke the destinies for this . Exit

Fort. Let him shrincke downe , & die betweene your armes , Helpe comes in vaine . No hand can conquer Fate , This instant is the last of my lifes date . This Goddesse ( if at least shee be a goddesse ) Names her selfe Fortune : wandring in a wood , Halfe famisht , her I met . I haue , quoth shee , Sixe gifts to spend vpon mortalitie , Wisedome , strength health , beautie , long life and riches , Out of my bountie one of these is thine . Amp. What benefit did from your choyce arise ? Fort. Listen , my sonnes : In this small compasse lies , Infinite treasure : this shee gaue to mee , And gaue to this , this vertue , Take ( quoth shee ) So often as from hence thou drawst thy hand , Ten golden peeces of that kingdomes coyne , Where er'e thou liu'st , which plenteous sure shall last , After thy death , till thy sonnes liues doe waste . Andel. Father , your choice was care , the gift diuine . Fort. It had beene so , if riches had beene mine . Amp. But hath this golden vertue neuer faild ? Fort. Neuer . Andelo. O admirable ; heare 's a fire Hath power to thaw the very heart of death , And giue stones life , by this most sacred death , See brother , here s all India in my hand . Fort. Inherite you ( my Sonnes ) that golden land . This Hat I brought away from Babylon , I robd the Souldan of it , t is a prize Worth twentie Empires . In this Iewell lies . Andel.

How , father ? Iewell ? call you this a Iewell ? It 's course Wool , a bald fashion , and greasie to the brim ; I haue bought a better Felt for a French crowne fortie times : Of what vertuous blocke is this Hat , I pray ?

Fort. Set it vpon thy head , and with a wish , Thou in the moment on the winds swift wings , Shalt be transported into any place . Andel. A wishing Hat , and a golden mine ? For. O Andelocia , Ampedo , now death Sounds his third sommons : I must hence : these Iewels To both I doe bequeath ; diuide them not , But vse them equally ; neuer bewray What vertues are in them ; for if you doe , Much shame , much griefe , much daunger followes you . Peruse this booke : farwell : behold in me The rotten strength of proud mortalitie . Dyes . Ampe. His soule is wandring to the Elizium shades . Andel.

The flowre that s fresh at noone , at Sun-set fades . Brother , close you downe his eyes , because you were his eldest ; and with them close vp your teares , whilst I ( as all yonger brothers doe ) shift for my selfe : let vs mourne , because hee s dead , but mourne the lesse , because he cannot reuiue : the honour we can doe him , is to burie him royally , let s about it then , for i le not melt my selfe to death with scalding sighes , nor drop my soule out at mine eyes , were my father an Emperour .

Amp.

Hence , hence , thou stop'st the tide of my true teares . True griefe is dumbe , though it hath open eares .

Andel.

Yet God send my griefe a tongue , that I may haue good vtterance for it : Sob on , brother mine , whilst you sigh there , i le sit & read what Storie my father has written here .

They both fall asleepe : Fortune and a companie of Satyres enter with Musicke , and playing about Fortunatus body , take them away ; They gone , Saddow enters running . Shad.

I can get none , I can find none : where are you , master ? Haue I tane you napping ? and you too ? I sée sorrowes eye-lids are made of a Dor-mouse skin , they seldome open , or of a misers purse , that 's alwaies shut : So ho , master .

Andel.

Shaddow , why how now ? what s the matter ?

Shad.

I can get none Sir , t is impossible .

Amp.

What is impossible ? what canst not get ?

Shad.

No helpe for my old master .

Andel.

Hast thou béene all this while calling for helpe ?

Sha.

Yes sir : he scornd all Famagosta when he was in his huffing , and now hee lies puffing for wind , they say they scorne him .

Amp. The poyson of their scorne infects not him ; He wants no helpe . Sée where he breathles lies : Brother , to what place haue you borne his body ? Andel.

I beare it ? I toucht it not .

Amp.

Nor I : a leaden slumber prest mine eyes .

Shad.

Whether it were lead or lattin that haspt downe those winking casements , I knowe not , but I found you both snorting .

Amp. And in that sléepe ( me thought ) I heard the tunes Of sullen passions apt for Funerals , And saw my Fathers liuelesse body borne By Satyres : O I feare that deitie Hath stolne him hence , that Snudge his destinie . And.

I feare hée s rysen againe , didst not thou méete him ?

Shad.

I sir ? doe you thinke this white and red durst haue kist my swéete chéekes , if they had séene a ghost ? But , master , if the destinies , or Fortune , or the Fates , or the Fayries haue stolne him , neuer indite them for the Felonie : for by this meanes the charges of a Tombe is sau'd , and you being his heyres , may doe as many rich Executors doe , put that money in your purses , and giue out he dyed a begger .

Andel. Away , you Roague , my Father die a begger ? I le build a Tombe for him of massie Gold . Shad.

Me thinkes , master , it were better to let the memory of him shine in his owne vertues ( if hée had any ) than in Alablaster .

Andel.

I shall mangle that Alablaster face , you whore son vertuous vice .

Shad.

He has a Marble heart , that can mangle a face of Alablaster .

Andel.

Brother , come , come , mourne not , our Father is but slept to agrée with Charon for his boate hyre to Elizium . Sée , here s a Storie of all his trauels ; this booke shall come out with a new Addition : I le treade after my Fathers steps ; i le goe measure the world , therefore let s share these Iewels , take this or this .

Amp.

Will you then violate our Fathers Will ?

Andel.

A puritane ? kéepe a dead mans Will ? Indéed in the old time , when men were buried in soft Church-yardes , that their Ghosts might rise , it was good but , brother , now they are imprisond in strong Brick and Marble , they are fast : feare not : away , these are fooleries , gulleries , trumperies ; here s this or this , or I am gon with both .

Amp. Doe as you please , the sinne shall not be mine . Fooles call those things prophane , that are diuine . Andel.

Are you content to weare the Iewels by turnes ? I le haue the purse for a yéere , you the Hat , and as much gold , as you le aske ; & when my pursourship ends , i le resigne , and cap you .

Amp. I am content to beare all discontents . Exit . Andel.

I should serue this bearing Asse rarely now , if I should load him , but I will not , though conscience bee ( like Physicke ) seldome vsed , ( for so it does least hurt ) yet i le take a dram of it : this for him , and some gold : this for me : for hauing this mint about me , I shall want no wishing Cap : gold is an Eagle , that can flie to any place , and like death , that dares enter all places .

Shaddow , wilt thou trauell with me ?

Sha

I shal neuer fadge with the humor because I cannot lie .

And.

Thou dolt , wee le visit all the kings courts in the world .

Shad.

So we may , and returne dolts home , but what shall we learne by trauaile ?

Andel.

Fashions .

Shad.

That s a beastly disease : me thinkes it s better staying in your owne countrie .

Andel.

How ? In mine owne countrie ? like a Cage-birde and see nothing ?

Shad.

Nothing ? yes you may see things enough , for what can you see abroad that is not at home ? The same Sunne cals you vp in the morning , and the same man in the Moone lights you to bed at night , our fields are as greene as theirs in summer , and their frosts will nip vs more in winter : Our birds sing as sweetly & our women are as faire : In other countries you shall haue one drinke to you , whilst you kisse your hand , and ducke , hee le poyson you : I confesse you shall meete more fooles , and asses , and knaues abroad then at home ( yet God be thanked we haue prettie store of all ) but for Punckes , wee put them downe .

And. Prepare thy spirits , for thou shalt goe with me , To England shall our starres direct our course , Thither the prince of Cyprus ( our kings sonne ) Is gon to see the louely Agripyne , Shaddow , wee le gaze vpon that English dame , And trie what vertue gold has to inflame . First to my brother , then away let s flie , Shaddow must be a Courtier ere he die . Exit . Shad.

If I must , the Fates shall bee seru'd : I have seene many clownes Courtiers , then why not Shaddow ? Fortune , I am for thee . Exit .

Enter Orleans melancholike , Galloway with him , a boy after them with a Lute . Orle.

Be gone : leaue that with me , and leaue me to my selfe , if the king aske for me , sweare to him I am sicke , and thou shalt not lie , pray thee leaue me .

Boy . I am gon , Sir . Exit . Orle.

This musicke makes me but more out of tune O , Agripyna .

Gall. Gentle friend , no more . Thou saiest loue is a madnes , hate it then , Euen for the names sake . Orle. O , I loue that madnes , Euen for the names sake . Gall. Let me tame this frenzie , By telling thee thou art a prisoner here , By telling thee shee s daughter to a king , By telling thee the king of Cyprus sonne Shines like a Sunne betweene her lookes and thine , Whilst thou seem'st but a starre to Agripyne : He loues her . Orle.

If he doe : why so doe I .

Gall.

Loue is ambitious and loues maiestie .

Orle.

Deere friend , thou art deceiuued , loues voice doth sing As sweetely in a begger as a king .

Gall. Deere friend , thou art deceyu'd : O bid thy soule Lift vp her intellectuall eyes to heauen , And ( in this ample booke of wonders ) read , Of what celestiall mold , what sacred essence , Her selfe is formd , the search whereof will driue Sounds musicall among the iarring spirits , And in sweete tune set that which none inherits . Orle. I le gaze on heauen if Agripyne be there : If not : Fa , La , la , Sol , la , &c. Gall. O , call this madnes in , see from the windowes Of euery eye Derision thrusts out cheekes , Wrinckled with Idiot laughter ; euery finger Is like a Dart shot from the hand of scorne , By which thy name is hurt , thine honour torne . Orle. Laugh they at me , sweete Galloway ? Gall. Euen at thee . Orle. Ha , ha , I laugh at them , are not they mad , That let my true true sorrow make them glad ? I daunce and sing onely to anger griefe , That in that anger , he might smite life downe With his Iron fist : good heart , it seemeth then , They laugh to see griefe kill me : O , fond men , You laugh at others teares , when others smile , You teare your selues in pieces : vile , vile , vile , Ha , ha , when I behold a swarme of fooles , Crowding together to be counted wise , I laugh because sweete Agripine 's not there , But weepe because shee is not any where , And weepe because whether shee be or not , My loue was euer and is still forgot : forgot , forgot , forgot . Gall.

Draw backe this streame , why should my Orleans mourne ?

Orle. Looke yonder , Galloway , doest thou see that Sunne ? Nay good friend , stare vpon it , marke it well , Ere he be two howres elder , all that glorie Is banisht heauen , and then ( for griefe ) this skie , That 's now so iocund , will mourne all in blacke , And shall not Orleans mourne ? Alacke , alacke , O , what a Sauage tyrannie it were , T' inforce care , laugh and woe : not shed a teare ? Dead is my loue , I am buried in her scorne , That is my Sun-set , and shall I not mourne ? Yes by my troth I will . Gall. Deere friend forbeare , Beautie ( like sorrow ) dwelleth euery where . Race out this strong Idea of her face , As faire as hers shineth in any place . Orle. Thou art a Traytor to that white and red , Which sitting on hex cheekes ( being Cupids throne ) Is my hearts soueraigne : O when she is dead , This wonder ( Beautie ) shall be found in none . Now Agripyne 's not mine , I vow to be In loue with nothing but deformitie . O faire Deformitie , I muse all eyes Are not enamord of thee : thou didst neuer Murder mens hearts , or let them pine like wax , Melting against the Sunne of thy destinie , Thou art a faithfull nurse to Chastitie , Thy beautie is not like to Agripynes , For cares , and age , and sicknesse hers deface , But thine 's eternall : O Deformitie , Thy fairenes is not like to Agripynes , For ( dread ) her beautie will no beautie haue , But thy face lookes most louely in the graue . Enter Prince of Cyprus and Agripyne . Gall.

See where they come together hand in hand .

Orle.

O , watch sweete Galloway , when their hands doe part , Betweene them , shalt thou find my murdred heart .

Cypr.

By this then it seemes a thing impossible , to know when an English Lady loues truely .

Agrip.

Not so , for when her soule steales into her heart , and her heart leapes vp to her eyes , and her eyes drop into her hands , then if shee say , Here s my hand , shee s your owne , else neuer .

Cyp.

Here s a paire of your prisoners , let s try their opinion .

Agrip.

My kind prisoners well encountred , the Prince of Cyprus here and my selfe haue beene wrangling about a question of loue : My Lord of Orleans , you looke leane , and likest a louer ; Whether is it more torment to loue a Lady and neuer enioy her , or alwaies to enioy a Lady , whome you cannot choose but hate ?

Orle.

To hold her euer in mine armes whome I loath in my heart , were some plague , yet the punishment were no more then to be enioyned to keepe poyson in my hand , yet neuer to taste it .

Agri.

But say you should be compeld to swallow the poyson .

Orle.

Then a speedy death would end a speeding miserie : But to loue a Lady and neuer enioy her , oh it is not death , but worse then damnation ; T is hell , t is .

Agrip.

No more , no more , good Orleans , nay then I see my prisoner is in loue too .

Cypr.

Me thinkes , souldiers cannot fal into the fashion of loue .

Agrip.

Me thinkes , a Souldier is the most faithfull louer of all men els : for his affection stands not vpon complement : his wooing is plaine home-spun stuffe : there s no outlandish thred in it , no Rethoricke : a Souldier casts no figures to get his mistris heart , his loue is like his valour in the field , when he payes downe-right blowes .

Gall.

True , Madam , but would you receiue such paiment ?

Agrip.

No , but I meane , I loue a Souldier best , for his plaine dealing .

Cypr.

That s as good as the first .

Agrip.

Be it so , that goodnesse I like : for what Lady can abide to loue a Spruce silken face Courtier , that stands euery morning two or three howres learning how to looke by his Glasse , how to speake by his Glasse , how to sigh by his glasse , how to court his Mistris by his Glasse . I would wish him no other plague , but to haue a Mistris as brittle as glasse .

Gall.

And that were as bad as the horne plague .

Cypr.

Are any louers possest with this madnes ?

Agrip.

What madmen are not possest with this loue ? yet by my troth , wee poore women doe but smile in our sleeues to see all this fopperie : yet we all desire to see our louers attirde gallantly , to heare them sing sweetely , to behold them daunce comely and such like ; but this apish monkie fashion of effeminate nicenesse , out vpon it : Oh , I hate it worse then to bee counted a scould .

Cypr.

Indeede men are most regarded , when they least regard themselues .

Gall.

And women most honored , when they shew most mercy to their louers .

Orle.

But is t not a miserable tyranie , to see a Lady triumph in the passions of a soule languishing through her crueltie ?

Cypr.

Me thinkes it is .

Gall.

Me thinkes t is more then tyrannie .

Agrip.

So thinke not I : for as there is no reason to hate any that loue vs , so it were madnes to loue all that doe not hate vs : women are created beautifull , onely because men should wooe them : for t were miserable tyrannie to inioyne poore women to wooe men : I would not heare of a woman in loue for my fathers kingdome .

Cyp.

I neuer heard of any woman that hated loue .

Agrip.

Nor I : but we had all rather die then confesse wee loue ; our glorie is to heare men sigh whilst we smile , to kil them with a frowne , to strike them dead with a sharpe eye , to make you this day weare a feather , and to morrow a sicke night-cap : Oh , why this is rare , there 's a certaine deitie in this , when a Lady by the Magicke of her lookes , can turne a man into twentie shapes .

Orle.

Sweete friend , shee speakes this but to torture mee .

Gall.

I le teach thee how to plague her : loue her not .

Agrip.

Poore Orleans , how lamentably he lookes : if hee stay , hee le make me surely loue him for pure pittie . I must send him hence , for of all sortes of loue . I hate the French : I pray thee , sweet prisoner , intreate Lord Longauile to come to me presently .

Orle.

I will : and esteeme myselfe more then happie , that you will imploy me . Exit .

Agrip.

Watch him , watch him for Gods sake , if hee sigh not or looke not backe .

Cyp.

He does both : but what misterie lyes in this ?

Agrip.

Nay , no misterie , t is as plaine as Cupids forehead : why this is as it should be : And esteeme my selfe more then happie , that you will imploy me : my French prisoner is in loue ouer head and eares .

Cypr.

Its wonder how he scapes drowning .

Gall.

With whom thinke you ?

Agrip.

With his keeper , for a good wager : Ah , how glad is he to obey ? And how proud am I to command in this Empire of affection ? Ouer him and such Spungy-liuerd youthes , ( that lie soaking in loue ) I triumph more with mine eye , then euer he did ouer a Souldier with his sword . I st not a gallant victorie for me to subdue my Fathers enemy with a looke ? Prince of Cyprus , you were best take heede , how you encounter an English Lady .

Cypr.

God blesse me from louing any of you , if all bee so cruell .

Agrip.

God blesse me from suffring you to loue me , if you be not so formable .

Cyp.

Wil you commaund me any seruice , as you haue done Orleans :

Agrip.

No other seruice but this , that ( as Orleans ) you loue me , for no other reason , but that I may torment you .

Cypr.

I wil : conditionally , that in all companie I may call you my tormenter .

Agr.

You shall : conditionally , that you neuer beg for mercy . Come , my Lord of Galloway .

Gall.

Come , sweete Madam . Exeunt .

Manet Cyprus . Cypr. The Ruby-colourd portals of her speech Were closde by mercy : but vpon her eye , ( Attir'd in frownes ) sat murdring crueltie . Enter Agrip. and listens . Shee s angrie , that I durst so high aspire . O , shee disdaines that any straungers brest Should be a Temple for her deitie : Shee s full of beautie , full of bitternes . Till now , I did not dally with loues fire : And when I thought to try his flames indeede , I burnt me euen to cinders : O , my starres , Why from my natiue shore did your beames guide me , To make me dote on her that doth deride me ? She kneeles : he walkes musing . Agri.

Hold him in this mind , sweete Cupid , I coniure thee . O , what musick these hey-hoes make ? I was about to cast my litle litle selfe into a great loue trance for him , fearing his hart had been flint : but since I see t is pure virgin wax , he shal melt his belly full : for now I know how to temper him . Exit .

Cypr. Neuer beg mercy ? yet be my tormenter . I le spies her . I hope shee heard me not : doubtlesse shee did : And now will she insult vpon my passions , And vex my constant loue with mockeries . Nay , then i le be mine owne Physician , And our face loue , and make her thinke that I Mournd thus , because I saw her standing by . What newes , my Lord of Cornewall ? Enter Cornewall . Cornew. This faire Prince , One of your Countrie-men , is come to Court , A lustie gallant braue in Cyprus I le , With fiftie bard Horses prawncing at his heeles , Backt by as many strong limbd Cypriots . All whom he keepes in pay : whose offred seruice , Our king with Armes of gladnes hath embrac'd . Cypr. Borne in the I le of Cyprus ? what s his name ? Cornw. His seruants call him Fortunatus sonne . Cypr. Rich Fortunatus sonne ? Is he ariu'd ? Enter Longauile , Galloway , and Chester with Iewels . Longa. This he bestowed on me . Chest. And this on me . Gallow. And this bounteous hand inforc'd mee take . Longa. I prize this Iewell at a hundred Markes , Yet would he needes bestow this gift on me . Cypr. My Lords , whose hand hath beene thus prodigal ? Gallow. Your countrieman my Lord , a Cypriot . Longa. The gallant sure is all compact of gold , To euery Lady hath he giuen rich Iewels , And sent to euery seruant in the Court Twentie faire English Angels . Cypr. This is rare . Enter Lincolne . Lincol. My Lords , prepare your selues for reueling , T is the kings pleasure that this day he spent In royall pastimes , that this golden Lord , ( For so all that behold him , christen him ) May tast the pleasures of our English court . Here comes the gallant , shining like the Sunne . Trumpets sound : Enter Athelstane , Andelocia , Agripyne , Orleans , Ladies , and other attendants , Insultado a Spanish Lord : Musicke sounds within . Andel. For these your royall fauours done to me , ( Being a poore straunger ) my best powres shall proue , By Acts of worth , the soundnes of my loue . Athelst. Herein your loue shall best set out it selfe , By staying with vs : if our English I le Hold any obiect welcome to your eyes , Doe but make choice , and claime it as your prize . The King and Cyprus conferre aside . Ande. I thanke your grace : would he durst kéepe his word , I know what I would claime : Tush , man , be bold , Were shée a Saint , shée may be wonne with gold . Cypr. T is straunge I must confesse , but in this pride , His Father Fortunatus ( if he liue ) Consumes his life in Cyprus : still he spends , And still his Coffers with abundance swell , But how he gets these riches none can tell . The King and Agripyne conferre aside . Athelst. Hold him in talke : come hither , Agripyne . Cypr. But what intic'de young Andelociaes soule To wander hither ? Andel. That which did allure , My soueraignes sonne , the wonder of the place . Agr. This curious heape of wonders , ( which an Empresse Gaue him ) he gaue me , and by Uenus hand , The warlike Amorato néedes would sweare , Hee left his countrie Cyprus for my loue . Athelst. If by the soueraigne Magicke of thine eye , Thou canst inchant his lookes to kéepe the circles Of thy faire chéekes , be bold to trie thy charmes , Féede him with hopes , and find the royall veine , That leades this Cypriot to his golden mine . Here 's Musicke spent in vaine , Lords , fall to dauncing . Cypr. My faire tormentor , will you lend a hand ? Agrip. I le try this strangers cunning in a daunce . Andel. My cunning is but small , yet whoo 'le not proue To shame himselfe for such a Ladies loue ? Orle. These Cypriots are the diuels that torture me . He courts her , and shée smiles , but I am borne , To be her beauties slaue , and her loues scorne . And.

I shall neuer haue the face to aske the question twice .

Agrip.

What s the reason ? Cowardlynes or pride ?

Andel.

Neither : but t is the fashion of vs Cypriots , both men and women , to yéeld at first assault , and we expect others should doe the like .

Agrip.

It s a signe , that either your women are very black , & are glad to be sped , or your men very fond , & wil take no denial .

Andel.

Indéede our Ladies are not so faire as you .

Agrip.

But your men more ventrous at a breach then you , or els they are all dastardly souldiers .

Andel.

Hee that fightes vnder these swéete colours , & yet turnes coward , let him bee shot to death with the terrible arrowes of faire Ladies eyes .

Athelst.

Nay Insultado , you must not denie vs .

Insultad.

My Corocon es muy pesada , my Anima muy atormentada , No per los Cielos : La piede de Espagnoll , no haze musica in Tierra Inglesa .

Cypr. Swéete Insultado let vs sée you daunce . I haue heard the Spanish daunce is full of state . Insultad. Verdad Signor : la danza spagnola , es muy alta , Maiestica , y para Monarcas : vuestra Inglesa , Baxa , Fantastica , y muy humilde . Agrip.

Doth my Spanish prisoner denie to daunce ? Hee has sworne to me by the crosse of his pure Toledo , to bee my seruant : by that oath ( my Castilian prisoner ) I coniure you to shew your cunning , though all your body bee not frée , I am sure your héeles are at libertie .

Insultad.

Nolo quire contra dezir : vuestra oio haze conquesto a su prisionero : Oyes , la pauyne Hispanola , sea vuestra musica y , y : Paie , dadime Tabacca , Ton●a my capa , e my espada . Mas alta , Mas alta : Desuiaios , Desuiaios , Companieros , Mas alta , Mas alta .

Hee daunces . Athelst. Thankes , Insultado . Cypr. T is most excellent . Agrip. The Spaniards daunce , is as his déedes bee , full of pride . Athelst. The day growes old , & what remaines vnspent , Shall be consum'd in banquets , Agripyne , Leaue vs a while , if Andelocia please , Goe beare our beautious daughter companie . Exeunt Agrip. and Andel. and Ladies . And. Fortune I thanke thée : now thou smil'st on me . Athe. This Cipriot beares a gallant princely mind . My Lord , of what birth is your country-man ? Thinke not , swéete Prince , that I propound this question , To wrong you in your loue to Agripyne : Our fauours grace him to an other end . Nor let the wings of your affection droope , Because shée séemes to shun loues gentle lure . Belieue it on our word , her beauties prize Onely shall yéeld a conquest to your eyes . But tell me what s this Fortunatus sonne ? Cypr. Of honourable bloud , and more renownd In forreine kingdomes ( whither his proud spirit , Plum'd with ambitious fethers , caries him ) Then in his natiue Countrie . but last day , The father and the sonnes were through their riots , Poore and disdainde of all , but now they glister , More bright than Midas : if some damned fiend Fed not his bags , this golden pride would end . Athelst. His pride wée le somewhat tame , & curb the head Of his rebellious prodigalitie : He hath inuited vs , and all our Péeres , To feast with him tomorrow , his prouision , I vnderstand may entertaine thrée kings . But Lincolne , let our Subiects secretly Be chargde on paine of life that not a man Sell any kind of Fewell to his seruants . Cypr. This pollicy shall clip his golden wings , And teach his pride what t is to striue with kings . Athelst. Withdraw a while : Exeunt . Manet Athelstane . None fild his hands with Gold , for we set spies , To watch who fed his prodigalitie : He hung the Marble bosome of our Court , As thicke with glistring Spangles of pure gold , As ere the spring hath stucke the earth with flowers . Unlesse he melt himselfe to liquid gold , Or be some God , some diuell , or can transport A mint about him , ( by inchanted power ) He cannot raine such shewers : with his owne hands He threw more wealth abroad in euery stréete , Then could be thrust into a Chariot : Hée s a Magician sure , and to some fiend , His soule ( by infernall couenants ) has he sold , Alwaies to swimme vp to the chin in gold . Be what he can be , if those doting fires , Wherein he burnes for Agripinaes loue , Want power to melt from him this endlesse Myne , Then ( like a slaue ) wée le chaine him in our Tower , Where tortures shall compell his sweating hands To cast rich heapes into our treasorie . Musicke sounding still : A curtaine being drawne , where Andelocia lies sleeping in Agripines lap , shee has his purse , and her selfe and another Lady tye another ( like it ) in the place , and then rise from him . Agrip. I haue found the sacred spring that neuer ebs . Leaue vs : Exit Lady . But i le not shew 't your maiestie , Till you haue sworne by Englands royall crowne , To let me kéepe it . Athelst. By my Crowne I sweare , None but faire Agripyne the Iem shall weare . Agrip. Then is this mine : sée , Father , here 's the fire , Whose gilded beames still burne , this is the Sunne , That euer shines , the tree that neuer dies , Here growes the Garden of Hesperides , The out-side mockes you , makes you thinke t is poore , But entring it , you find eternall store . Athelst. Art sure of this ? How didst thou driue it out ? Agrip. Feare not his waking yet , I made him drinke That soporiferous Iuice which was composd , To make the Quéene ( my Mother ) rellish sléepe , When her last sicknes sommond her to heauen . He sléepes profoundly : when his amorous eyes Had singde their wings in Cupids wanton flames , I set him all on fire , and promist loue : In pride whereof , he drew me forth this purse , And swore , by this he multiplyed his gold . I tride and found it true : and secretly Commaunded Musicke with her siluer tongue , To chime soft lullabies into his soule , And whilst my fingers wantond with his hayre , ( T' intice the sléepie Iuice to charme his eyes ) In all points was there made a purse , like his , Which counterfet is hung in place of this . Athelst. More then a second kingdome hast thou won . Leaue him , that when he wakes he may suspect , Some els has robd him , come déere Agripyne , If this strange purse his sacred vertues hold , Wée le circle England with a wast of Gold . Exeunt . Musicke still : Enter Saddow very gallant , reading a Bill , with emptie bags in his hand singing . Shad.

These English occupiers are mad Troians : let a man pay them neuer so much , thei le giue him nothing but the bag . Since my master created me steward ouer his fiftie men , and his one and fiftie horse , I haue rid ouer much businesse , yet neuer was gald , I thanke the destinies : Musicke ? O delicate warble : O these Courtiers are most swéete triumphant creatures . Seignior , Sir : Monsieur : swéete Seignior ; this is the language of the accomplishment : O delicious strings : these heauenly wyre-drawers haue stretcht my master euen out at length : yet at length he must wake : master ?

Andel.

Wake me not yet , my gentle Agripyne .

Shad.

One word Sir , for the billets , and I vanish .

And.

There s heauen in these times : throw the musicians A bounteous largesse of thrée hundred Angels . Andelocia starts vp .

Shad.

Why sir , I haue but ten pound left .

And.

Ha , Shaddow ? where 's the Princesse Agripyne ?

Shad.

I am not Apollo , I cannot reueale .

Andel.

Was not the princesse here , when thou cam'st in ?

Shad.

Here was no Princesse but my princely selfe .

Andel.

In faith ?

Shad.

No in faith , Sir .

Andel.

Where are you hid ? where stand you wantoning ? Not here ? gone ifaith ? haue you giuen me the slip ? well , t is but an amorous tricke and so I embrace it : my horse , Shaddow , how fare my horse ?

Shad.

Upon the best Oates my vnderiteward can buy .

An.

I meane , are they lusty , sprightly , gallant , wanton , fiery ?

Shad.

They are as all horses are , Caterpillers to the Commonwelth , they are euer munching : but Sir , for these billets , and these fagots and bauins ?

Andel.

S'hart what billets , what fagots ? doest make mee a Woodmonger ?

Shad.

No swéete Seignior , but you haue bid the King and his Péeres to dinner , and he has commaunded that no Woodmonger sell you a sticke of wood , and that no Collyer shall cosen you of your measure , but must tie vp the mouth of their Sackes , least their Coales kindle your choler .

Andel.

I st possible ? is t true , or hast thou learnt of the English gallants to gull ?

Shad.

Hée s a gul that would be taught by such guls .

Ande.

Not a sticke of wood ? Some child of enuie has buzd this stratagem into the kings eare , of purpose to disgrace me : I haue inuited his maiestie , and though it cost me a Million , i le feast him : Shadow , thou shalt hyre a hundred or two of Carts , with them post to all the Grocers in London , buy vp all the Cynamon , Cloues , Nutmegs , Licorish and all other spices , that haue any strong heart , and with them make fires to prepare our Cookerie : Ere Fortunatus sonne looke red with shame , Hée le dresse a Kings feast in a spiced flame .

Shad.

This diuice , Sir , will bee somewhat a kin to Lady Pride , t will aske cost .

And.

Fetch twentie Porters , i le laid all with gold .

Shad.

First , master , fil these bags .

And.

Come then , hold vp , how now ? trickes , new crochets , Madam Fortune ? Drie as an Eele-skin ? Shaddow , take thou my Gold out .

Shad.

Why Sir , here 's none in .

Andel. Ha , let me see : O here s a bastard chéeke , I sée now t is not mine : t is counterfet , T is so : slaue thou hast robd thy master . Sha. Not of a peny , I haue béene as true a steward . And. Uengeance on thée and on thy stewardship . Yet wherefore curse I thée ? thy leaden soule Had neuer power to mount vp to the knowledge Of the rich misterie closde in my purse . Oh no , i le curse my selfe , mine eyes i le curse , They haue betrayd me , I will curse my tongue , That hath betraid me : I le curse Agripyne , Shée hath betraid me : Sirens cease to sing , Your charmes haue tane effect , for now I sée , All your inchantments were , to cosen me . Musicke ceaseth . Shad. What shall I doe with this ten pound , Sir ? Andel. Goe buy with it a Chaine and hang thy selfe . Now thinke I on my Fathers prophecie . Tell none ( quoth he ) the vertue , if you doe , Much shame , much griefe , much danger follows you . With teares I credit his diuinitie . O fingers , were you vpright Iustices , You would teare out mine eyes : had not they gazde On the fraile colour of a painted chéeke , None had betraid me : henceforth i le defie All beautie , and will call a lovely eye , A Sun whose scorching beames burne vp our ioyes , Or turne them blacke like Ethiopians . O women , wherefore are you borne mens woe , Why are your faces fram'd Angelicall ? Your hearts of spunges , soft and smooth in shew , But toucht , with poyson they doe ouer-flow . Had sacred wisedome béene my Fathers Fate , He had died happie , I liu'd fortunate . Shaddow , be are this to beautious Agripyne , With it this message , tell her , i le reprooue Her couetous sinne the lesse , because for gold , I sée that most mens soules too cheape are sold . Sha. Shal I buy these spices to day or to morrow ? And. To morrow ? I , to morrow thou shalt buy them , To morrow tell the Princesse I wil loue her , To morrow tell the king , i le banquet him , To morrow , Shaddow , will I giue thée gold , To morrow pride goes bare and lust acold . To morrow will the rich man féede the poore . And vice to morrow vertue will adore , To morrow beggers shall be crowned kings , This No-time , morrowes-time , no swéetnes sings : I pray thée hence : beare that to Agripyne . Shad.

I le goe hence , because you send me : but i le goe wéeping hence , for griefe that I must turne villaine as many doe , and leaue you when you are vp to the eares in aduersitie . Exit .

Andel. Shée hath robd me , and now i le play the thiefe , I le steale from hence to Cyprus , for blacke shame . Here ( through my riots ) brands my loftie name . I le sell this pride for helpe to beare me thither , So pride and beggerie shall walke together : This world is but a Schoole of villanie , Therefore i le rob my brother , ( not of gold , Nor of his vertues , vertue none will steale : ) But ( if I can , ) i le steale his wishing Hat . And with that , wandring round about the world , I le search all corners to find miserie , And where shée dwels , i le dwell , languish and die . Exit . Chorus . Gentels , if ere you haue beheld the passions , The combats of his soule who being a king , By some vsurping hand hath béene deposde From all his royalties : euen such a soule , Such eyes , such heart swolne big with sighes and teares , The star-crost sonne of Fortunatus weares . The thoughts crownd him a Monarch in the morne , Yet now hée s bandyed by the Seas in scorne , From waue to waue : his golden treasures spoyle Makes him in desperate language to intreate , The winds to spend their furie on his life : But they ( being milde in tyrannie ) or scorning To triumph in a wretches funerall , Tosse him to Cyprus . O what treacherie Cannot this Serpent gold intice vs to ? He robs his brother of the Souldans prize , And hauing got his wish ( the wishing Hat ) He does not ( as he voud ) séeke miserie , But hopes by that to win his purse againe , And in that Hope from Cyprus is he fled . If your swift thoughts clap on their wonted wings , In Genoway may you take this fugitiue , Where hauing cozened many Iewellers , To England backe he comes , step but to court , And there ( disguizde ) you find him bargoning For Iewels with the beautious Agripyne , Who wearing at her side the vertuous purse , He claspes her in his armes , and as a Rauen , Griping the tender-hearted Nightingale , So flies he with her , ( wishing ) in the ayre , To be transported to some wildernesse : Enter Andelocia and Agripyne . Imagine this the place : sée here they come . Since they themselues haue tongues , mine shall be dumbe . Exit . Enter Andelocia with the wishing Hat on : Agripyna in his hand . Agrip. What diuell art thou that affrightst me thus , Haling a Princesse from her fathers court , To spoyle her in this sauage wildernesse ? Andel.

Indéed the diuel and the pick-purse should alwaies flie together , ( for they are sworne brothers : ) but Madam Couetousnes , I am neither a diuel as you cal me , nor a Iewellers as I call my selfe , no , nor a Iugler , yet ere you and I part , wée le haue some legerdimain together : do you know me ?

Agrip. I am betrayd : this is the Cypriot . Forgiue mee , t was not I that changde thy purse , But Athelstane my Father , send me home , And here s thy purse againe : here are thy Iewels , And I in satisfaction of all wrongs . Andel.

Talke not you of satisfaction , this is some recompence that I haue you , t is not the purse I regard : put if off , and i le mince it as small as pie meate : the purse ? hang the purse : were that gon , I can make another , and another , & another , I and another : t is not the purse I care for , but the purser : you , I you . I st not a shame that a kings daughter , a faire Lady , a Lady not for Lords , but for Monarches , should for gold sell her loue , and when shée has her owne asking , and that there stands nothing betwéene , then to cheate your swéete heart ? O fie , fie , a shée cony-catcher ? You must be dealt soundly with .

Agrip.

Inioyne what paines thou wilt , & i le endure them , so thou wilt send me to my fathers court .

Ande.

Nay gods lid , y' are not gon so : set your heart at rest , for I haue set vp my rest , that except you can runne swifter then a Hart , home you goe not : what paines shall I lay vpon you ? Let me sée : I could serue you now but a slipperie touch : I could get a young King or two , or three of you , and then send you home , and bid their grand-sire king nurse them : I could pepper you , but I will not .

Agrip.

O , doe not violate my chastitie .

Andel.

No , why I tell you I am not giuen to the flesh , though I sauor ( in your nose ) a little of the diuell , I could run away else , and starue you here .

Agrip.

If I must die , doome me some easier death .

Andel.

Or transforme you ( because you loue picking ) into a Squirell , and make you picke out a poore liuing here among the Nut trees : but I will not neither .

Agrip.

What will my gentle Andelocia doe ?

Andel.

Oh , now you come to your old byas of cogging .

Agrip. I pray thée Andelocia , let me goe : Send me to England , and by heauen I sweare , Thou from all kings on earth my loue shalt beare . And.

Shal I in faith ?

Agrip.

In faith , in faith thou shalt .

Andel.

Here , god a mercie : now thou shalt not goe .

Agrip.

Oh God .

Andel.

Nay doe you heare Lady ? crie not y' are best : no nor curse me not : if you thinke but a crabbed thought of me , the spirit that caried you in mine armes through the ayre , will tell me all : therefore set your Sunday face vpon t . Since you 'le loue me , i le loue you , i le marrie you , and lie with you , and beget little Iuglers : marie home you get not : England you 'le say is yours : but Agripyne , loue me , and I will make the whole world thine .

Agrip. I care not for the world , thou murdrest me , Betwéene my sorrow , and the scalding Sunne I faint , and quickly will my life be done , My mouth is like a Furnace , and drie heate Drinks vp my bloud . Oh God , my heart will burst , I die , vnlesse some moysture quench my thirst . Andel. S'hart now I am worse then ere I was before : For halfe the world I would not haue her die . Here s neither spring nor ditch , nor raine , nor dew , Nor bread , nor drinke : my louely Agripyne , Be comforted , sée here are Apple trées . Agrip. Clime vp for Gods sake , reach me some of them . Andel. Looke vp , which of these Apples likes thée best ? Agrip. This hath a withered face , t is some swéete fruit . Not that , my sorrowes are too sowre already . Andel. Come hither , here are Apples like gold . Agrip. O , I for Gods sake , gather some of these . Ay me , would God I were at home againe . Climes vp . Andel. Stand farder , least I chance to fall on thée . Oh here be rare Apples , rare red-cheekt Apples , that cry come kisse me : Apples , hold your peace , i le teach you to cry . Eates one . Agrip. O England , shal I ne're behold thée more ? Andel.

Agripyna , t is a most Sugred delicious tast in ones mouth , but when t is downe , t is as bitter as gall .

Agrip. Yet gather some of them . Oh , that a Princesse Should pine for foode : were I at home againe , I should disdaine to stand thus and complaine . And.

Here s one Apple that growes highest , Agripyna , & I could reach that , i le come downe .

Hee stands fishing with his girdle for it , Agrip.

Make hast , for the hot Sun doth scald my chéekes .

Andel.

The sunne kisse thée ? hold , catch , put on my Hat , I will haue yonder highest Apple , though I die for 't .

Agrip. I had not wont be Sun-burnt , wretched mée . O England , would I were againe in thée . Exit . He leapes downe . And. Swounds Agripyna , stay , O I am vndone , Swéete Agripyna , if thou hearst my voice , Take pittie of me , and returne againe . Shée flies like lightning : O she heares me not , I wish my selfe into a wildernesse , And now I shall turne wilde : here I shall famish , Here die , here cursing dye , here rauing die , And thus will wound my brest , and rent mine hayre . What hils of Flint are growne vpon my browes ? O me , two forked hornes , I am turn'd beast , I haue abuzde two blessings , welth and knowledge , Wealth in my purse , and knowledge in my Hat , By which being borne into the Courts of kings , I might haue séene the wondrous workes of Ioue , Acquirde Experience , Learning , Wisedome , Truth , But I in wildernesse tottred out my youth , And therefore must turne wild : must be a beast , An vgly beast : my body hornes must beare , Because my foule deformitie doth weare . Liues none within this wood ? If none but I Liue here ( thankes heauen ) for here none els shal die . He lies downe and sleepes vnder the tree : Enter Fortune , Vice , Vertue , the Priest : Satyres with Musicke , playing as they come in before Fortune . They play awhile . Fortune . Sée where my new-turnd diuel has built his hel . Vice . Uertue , who conquers now ? the foole is tane . Vert. O sléepie sinne . Musicke awhile , and then cease . Vice . Swéete tunes wake him againe . Fort. Uice sets too heauie on his drowzy soule , Musicke swéete concord cannot pierce his eare . Sing and amongst your Songs , mix bitter scorne . Vert. Those that teare Uertue , must by Uice be torne . The Song . Uertue stand aside : the foole is caught , 1. Verse . Laugh to sée him , laugh alowd to wake him , Follies nets are wide , and neately wrought , Mocke his hornes , and laugh to sée Uice take him . Quire . Ha , ha , ha , ha , ha , laugh , laugh in scorne , Andel. wakens & stands vp . Who 's that foole ? the foole , he wears a horne . Uertue stand aside , mock him , mock him , mock him 2. Verse . Laugh alowd to sée him , call him foole . Error gaue him sucke , now sorrowes rocke him , Send the riotous beast to madnes schoole . Quire . Ha , ha , ha , ha , ha , laugh , laugh in scorne , Who 's the foole ? the foole , he weares a horne . Uertue stand aside : your schoole hee hates . 3. Verse . Laugh alowd to sée him , mocke , mocke , mock him . Uanitie and hell kéepe open gates , Hée s in , and a newe nurse ( Despaire ) must rocke him . Quire . Ha , ha , ha , ha , ha , laugh , laugh in scorne , Foole , foole , foole , foole , foole , weare still the horne . When they haue done singing , Vice and Vertue hold Apples out to him , Vice laughing , Vertue grieuing . Andel. O me , what hell is this ? fiends , tempt me not . Thou glorious diuell hence . Oh now I sée , This fruit is thine , thou hast deformed mée : Ideot auoide , thy gifts I loath to tast . Away : since I am entred madnes Schoole , As good to be a beast , as be a foole . Away , why tempt you me ? some powrefull grace Come and redéeme me from this hideous place . Fort. To her hath Andelocia ( all his life ) Sworne fealtie , wouldst thou forsake her now ? Andel. Whose blessed tongue names Andelocia ? Fort. Hers , who ( attended on by destinies ) Shortned thy Fathers life , and lengthens thine . Kneeles . Andel. O sacred Quéene of chance , now shorten mine , Else let thy deitie take off this shame . Fort. Wooe her , t' was shée that set it on thy head . Andel. Shée laughes to sée me metamorphosed . Vert. Wooe me and i le take off this vgly scorne . Rises . Vice . Wooe me , and i le clap on another horne . Andel. I am beset with anguish , shame and death . O bid the Fates worke fast , and stop my breath . Fort. No Andelecia , thou must liue to sée Worse torments ( for thy follies ) light on thée . This golden trée , which did thine eyes intice , Was planted here by Uice : loe , here stands Uice : How often hast thou sued to win her grace ? Andel. Till now , I neuer did behold her face . Fort. Thou didst behold her at thy fathers death , When thou in scorne didst violate his will , Thou didst behold her , when thy strecht-out arme Catcht at the highest bough , the loftiest vice , The fairest Apple , but the fowlest price . Thou didst behold her , when thy lickerish eye Fed on the beautie of faire Agripyne , Because thou 'dst gold , thou thoughtst al women thine , When look'st thou off from her ? for they whose soules Still reuell in the nights of vanitie , On the faire chéekes of Uice still fixe their eye . Because her face doth shine , and all her bosome Beares siluer Moones , thou wast enamord of her . But hadst thou vpward lookt , and séene these shames , Or viewd her round about , and in this glasse Séene Idiots faces , heads of diuels and hell , And read this ha , ha , he , this merrie storie , Thou wouldst haue loathd her : where , by louing her , Thou bearst this face , and wearst this vgly head , And if shée once can bring thée to this place , Lowd sounds these ha , ha , he , shée le laugh apace . Andel. O , re-transforme me to a glorious shape , And I will learne how I may loue to hate her . Fort. I cannot re-transforme thée , wooe this woman . Andel. This woman ? wretched is my state , when I , To find out wisedome , to a foole must flie . Fort. Foole , cléere thine eyes , this is bright Arete , This is poore Uertue , care not how the world Doth crowne her head , the world laughes her to scorne , Yet Sibi sapit , Uertue knowes her worth . Runne after her , shée le giue thée these and these Crownes and Bay-garlands : ( honours victories : ) Serue her , and shée will fetch thée pay from heauen , Or giue thée some bright office in the starres . Ande. Immortall Arete , Uertue diuine , Kneeles . O smile on me , and I will still be thine . Vert. Smile thou on me , and I will still be thine : Though I am iealous of thy Apostasie , I le entertaine thée : here , come tast this trée , Here 's Phisicke for thy sicke deformitie . Andel. T is bitter : this fruit I shall ne're disgest . Vert. Trie once againe , the bitternes soone dies . Vice . Mines swéete , tast mine . Vert. But being downe t is sowre , And mine being downe has a delicious taste . The path that leades to Uertues court is narrow , Thornie and vp a hill , a bitter iorney But being gon through , you find all heau'nly swéetes , The entrance is all flintie , but at th' end , To towres of pearle and christall you ascend . Ande. O delicate , O sweete Ambrosian rellish , And sée , my vglinesse drops from my browes , Thankes beautious Arete : O had I now My Hat and purse againe , how I would shine , And gild my soule with none but thoughts diuine . Fort. That shall be tride , take fruit from both these trées , By helpe of them , winne both thy purse and Hat , I will instruct thée how , for on my wings To England shalt thou ride ; thy vertuous brother Is ( with that Shadow who attends on thée , ) In London , there i le set thée presently . But if thou lose our fauours once againe , To taste her swéetes , those swéetes must prooue thy bane . Vert. Uice , who shall now be crownd with victorie ? Vice . Shée that triumphes at last , and that must I . Exeunt . Enter Athelstane , Lincolne with Agripyne , Cyprus , Galloway , Cornewall , Chester , Longauile and Montrosse . Athelst. Lincolne , how set'st thou her at libertie ? Lincol. No other prison held her but your court , There ( in her chamber ) hath shée hid her selfe These two daies , onely to shake off that feare , Which her late violent rapture cast vpon her . Cypr. Where hath the beautious Agripyna béen ? Agrip. In heauen or hel , in or without the world , I know not which , for as I oft haue seene ( When angrie Thamesis hath curld her lockes , ) A whirle-wind come , and from her frizeld browes , Snatch vp a handful of those sweatie pearles , That stoode vpon her forhead , which awhile , Being by the boystrous wind hung in the ayre , At length hath flung them downe and raizd a storme . Euen with such furie was I wherryed vp , And by such force held prisoner in the cloudes , And throwne by such a tempest downe againe . Cornw. Some soule is dam'd in hell for this black déede . Agrip. I haue the purse safe , and anon your grace Shall heare this wondrous historie at full . Cypr. Tel me , tormenter , shall faire Agripyne , Without more difference be now christend mine ? Agrip. My choice must be my Fathers faire consent . Athelst. Then shall thy choyce end in this Cyprus prince . Before the Sunne shall sixe times more arise , His royall marriage will we solemnise . Proclaime this honord match , come Agripyne , I am glad th' art here , more glad the purse is mine . As they are all going in : Enter Andelocia and Shaddowe , like Irish Coster-mongers , Agripyna , Longauyle , and Montrosse stay listening to them , the rest Exeunt . Both .

Buy any Apples , féene Apples of Tamasco , féene Tamasio peepeins : péeps feene , buy Tamasco péepins .

Agrip. Damasco apples ? good my Lord Montrosse , Call yonder fellowes . Montr.

Sirra Coster-monger .

Shad.

Who cals : péeps of Tamasco , féene péeps : I sat t is de swéetest apple in de world , t is better den de Pomewater , or apple Iohn .

Andel.

By my trat Madam , t is réet Tamasco péepins , looke here els .

Shad.

I dare not say , as de Irishman my countrieman say , tast de goodnesse of de fruit : No fayt t is farie téere mistris , by Saint Patrickes hand t is téere Tamasco apple .

Agrip. The fairest fruit that euer I beheld , Damasco apples , wherefore are they good ? Longa.

What is your price of halfe a score of these ?

Both .

Halfe a score , halfe a score ? dat is doos many mester .

Longa.

I , I , ten , halfe a score , that s fiue and fiue .

Andel.

Féeue and feeue ? By my trat and as Créeze saue me la , I cannot tell , wat be de price of feeue and feeue , but t is trée crowne for one Péepin , dat is the préez if you take em .

Shad.

I fat , t is no lesse for Tamasco .

Agrip.

Thrée crownes for one ? what wondrous vertues haue they ?

Shad.

O , t is féene Tamasco apple , and shall make you a great teale wise , and make you no foole , and make feene memorie .

Andel.

And make dis fash be more faire and amiable , and make dis eyes looke alwaies louely , and make all de court & countrie burne in desire to kisse di none swéete countenance .

Montr. Apples to make a Lady beautifull ? Madam that s excellent . Agrip. These Irishmen , Some say , are great dissemblers , and I feare , These two the badge of their owne countrie weare . Andel.

By my trat , and by Saint Patrickes hand , and as Créez saue me la , t is no dissembler : de Irish man now and den cut di countrie-mans throate , but yet in fayt hee loue di countrie-man , t is no dissembler : dis féene Tamasco apple can make di swéete countenance , but I can take no lesse but thrée crownes for one , I weare out my naked legs and my footes , and my tods , and run hidder and didder to Tamasco for dem .

Shad.

As Créez saue me la , hee speakes true : Péeps feene ,

Agrip. I le trie what pawer lies in Damasco fruit . Here are ten crownes for thrée , So fare you well . Montr.

Lord Longauyle , buy some .

Longa. I buy ? not I : Hang them , they are toyes , come Madam , let vs goe . Exeunt . Both .

Saint Patricke and Saint Peter , and all de holy Angels looke vpon dat fash and make it faire .

Enter Montrosse softly . Shad.

Ha , ha , ha , shée s sped , I warrant .

Andel.

Peace , Shaddow , buy any péepins , buy .

Both .

Péeps féene , féene Tamasco apples .

Montr.

Came not Lord Longauyle to buy some fruit ?

Andel.

No fat , master , here came no Lords nor Ladies , but di none swéete selfe .

Montr.

T is well , say nothing , here s six crownes for two : You say the vertues are to make one strong .

Both .

Yes fat and make sweete countenance & strong too .

Montr. T is excellent , here : farwell , if these proue , I le conquer men by strength , women by loue . Exit . Enter Longauyle . Both .

Ha , ha , ha , why this is rare .

Shad.

Peace , master , here comes another foole .

Both .

Péeps féene , buy any péepes of Tamasco ?

Longa.

Did not the Lord Montrosse returne to you ?

Both .

No fat , swéete master , no Lord did turne to vs : Péepes féene .

Longa.

I am glad of it : here are nine crownes for thée : What are the vertues besides making faire ?

Andel.

O , t will make thée wondrous wise .

Shad.

And dow shall bee no more a foole , but swéete face and wise .

Longa. T is rare , farwell , I neuer yet durst wooe . None loues me : now i le trie what these can doe . Exit . Andel.

Ha , ha , ha . So , this is admirable , Shaddow , here end my torments in Saint Patrickes Purgatorie , but thine shall continue longer .

Shad.

Did I not clap on a good false Irish face ?

Andel.

It became thée rarely .

Shad.

Yet that s lamentable , that a false face should become any man .

Andel.

Thou art a gull , t is all the fashion now , which fashion because wée le kéepe , step thou abroad , let not the world want fooles : whilst thou art commensing thy knauerie there , i le procéede Doctor Dodipoll here : that done , thou Shaddow and I will fat our selues to behold the transformation of these fooles : goe flie .

Shad.

I feare nothing , but that whilst wee striue to make others fooles , we shall weare the Coxcombes our selues , Pips fine &c. Exit Shaddow .

Enter Ampedo . Andel. S'hart , here 's my brother whome I haue abuzde : His presence makes me blush , it strikes me dead , To thinke how I am metamorphosed . Féene paepins of Tamasco &c. Amp. For shame cast off this Maske . Andel. Whilt thou buy any pips ? Amp. Mocke me no longer With idle apparitions : many a land Haue I with wearie féete and a sicke soule Measurd , to find thée ; and when thou art found , My greatest griefe is , that thou art not lost : Yet lost thou art , thy fame , thy welth are lost , Thy wits are lost , and thou hast in their stead , With shame and cares , and misery crownd thy head . That Shaddow that pursues thée , fild mine eares With sad relation of thy wretchednesse , Where is the purse , and where my wishing Hat ? Andel.

Where ? and where ? are you created Constable , you stand so much vpon Intergatories ? the purse is gone , let that fret you , and the Hat is gone , let that mad you : I runne thus through all trades to ouer-take them , if you le bee quiet , follow me , and helpe , if not , flie from me , and hang your selfe : wilt thou buy any pippins ? Exit .

Amp. O , how I grieue , to sée him thus transformd ? Yet from the circles of my iealous eyes , He shall not start , till he haue re-possest Those vertuous Iewels , which found once againe , More cause they ne're shall giue me to complaine . Their worth shall be consum'd in murdring flames , And end my griefe , his ryot , and our shames . Exit . Enter Athelstane , Agripyne , Montrosse and Longauyle with hornes , Lincolne and Cornwall . Athelst. In spite of sorcerie trie once againe , Trie once more in contempt of all dam'd spels . Agrip. Your maiestie fights with no mortall power . Shame and not conquest , hangs vpon his strife . O , touch me not , you adde but paine to paine , The more you cut , the more they grow againe . Lincol. Is there no art to coniure downe this scorne ? I , ne're knew Phisicke yet against the horne . Enter Cyprus . Athelst. Sée , prince of Cyprus , thy faire Agripyne Hath turne her beautie to deformitie . Cypr. Then I defie thee , Loue , vaine hopes , adew , You haue mockt me long ; in scorne i le now mocke you . I came to sée how the Lord Longauyle Was turnd into a monster , and I find And obiect , which both strikes me dumbe and blind . To morrow should haue béene our marriage morne , But now my bride is shame , thy bridegrome scorne . O tell mee yet , is there no Art , no charmes , No desperate Physicke for this desperate wound ? Athelst. Al meanes are tride , but no meanes can be found . Cypr. Then England , farwell : haplesse maide , thy stars , Through spitefull influence set our hearts at warres . I am infor'st to leaue thee , and resigne My loue to griefe . Enter Orleans and Galloway . Agrip. All griefe to Agripyne . Cypr. Adew I would say more , had I a tongue Able to helpe his master : mightie king , I humbly take my leaue , to Cyprus I , My fathers Sonne , must all such shame defie . Exit . Orle. So doth not Orleans , I defie all those , That loue not Agripyne , and him defie , That dares but loue her halfe so well as I . O pardon me , I haue in sorrowes Iayle , Béene long tormented , long this mangled bosome Hath bled , and neuer durst expose her wounds , Till now , till now , when at thy beautious feete , I offer loue and life , O cast an eye Of mercy on me , this deformed face Cannot affright my soule from louing thée . Agri. Talk not of loue , good Orleans , but of hate . Orle. What sentence will my loue pronounce on me ? Gall. Will Orleans then be mad ? O gentle friend . Orle. O gentle , gentle friend I am not mad : Hée s mad , whose eyes on painted cheekes doe doate , O Galloway ; such read beauties booke by roate . Hee s mad , that pines for want of a gay flowre , Which saves when grief doth blast , or sicknes lowre , Which heate doth wither , and white ages frost Nips dead : such fairenes , when t is found , t is lost , I am not mad , for louing Agripyne , My loue lookes on her eyes , with eyes diuine , I doate on the rich brightnes of her mind , That sacred beautie strikes all other blind , O make me happie then , since my desires Are set a burning by loues purest fires . Athelst. So thou wilt beare her far from England sight , Inioy thy wishes . Agrip. Locke me in some caue , Where staring wonders eye shall not be guiltie To my abhorred lookes , and I will die To thée , as ful of loue as miserie . Athelst. I am amazde and mad , some speckled soule Lies pawnd for this in Hell , without redemption , Some fiend deludes vs all . Cornw. O vniust Fates , Why doe you hide from vs this misterie ? Lincol. My Lord Montrosse , how long haue your browes worne This fashion ? these two feather-springs of horne ? Montr. An Irish kerne sold me Damasco apples , Some two howres since , and ( like credulous foole ) Hee swearing to me that they had this power , To make me strong in body , rich in mind , I did beleeue his words , tasted his fruit , And since haue béene attirde in this disquize . Longa. I feare that villaine hath beguild me too . Cornw. Nay before God he has not cozend you , You haue it soundly . Longa. Me he made beleeue , One apple of Damasco would inspire By thoughts with wisedome , and vpon my chéekes Would cast such beautie , that each Ladies eye , Which lookt on me , should loue me presently . Agrip. Desire to looke more faire , makes me more sowle , Those apples did intice my wandring eye , To be enamord of deformitie . Athelst. This prooues that true , which oft I haue heard in schooles , Those that would séeme most wise doe turne most fooles . Lincol. Here 's your best hope , nene néedes to hide his face , For horned foreheads swarme in euery place . Enter Chester bringing Andelocia like a French Doctor . Athelst. Now Chester , what Physitions hast thou found ? Chest. Many , my leige , but none that haue true skill To tame such wilde diseases : yet here 's one , A Doctor and a Frenchman , whome report Of Agripynes griefe hath drawne to court . Athelst. Cure her , and Englands treasorie shall stand , As frée for thée to vse , as rayne from heauen . Montr. Cure me and to thy Coffers I will send , More gold from Scotland then thy life can spend . Longa. Cure Longauile , and all his wealth is thine . Andel.

He Monsieur Long-villaine gra tanck you : Gra tanck your mashestie a great teale artely by my trat : where be dis Madam Princeza dat be so mush tormenta ? O Ieshu : one , 2 : an trée , 4 & 5 , seez horne Ha , ha , ha , pardona moy prea wid al mine art , for by my trat , me can no point shose but laugh , Ha , ha , ha , to marke how like trée bul-beggera , dey stand . Oh , by my trat and fat , di diuela be whoreson , scurme , paltry , ill sauore knaue to mocke de Madam , and gentill-home so : Ha , ha , ha , ha .

Lincol.

This Doctor comes to mocke your maiestie .

Ande.

No by my trat la , but me loua musha musha merymant : Come Madam , prea-artely stand still , and letta mee seele your dis horne , O t is prettie horne , dis be facile , easie for pull de vey but Madame dis O he grand , grand horne , difficill , and very deepe , t is perilous , a grand Laroone . But Madam , prea be patient , we shall take it off vell .

Athe.

Thrice haue we parde them off , but with fresh paine , In compasse of a thought they rise againe .

Andel.

Its true , t is no easie mattra , to pull horne off , t is easie for pull on , but hard for pull off , some horne bee so good fellow , hee will still inhabit in de mans pate , but t is all one for tat , I shall snap away all dis: Madam trust dis downe into your little belly .

Agrip. Father , I am in feare to taste his physicke . First let him worke experiments on those . Andel. I le sawce you for your infidelitie . Aside . In no place can I spie my wishing Hat . Longa. Thou learned Frenchman , trie thy skill on me , More vgly then I am , I cannot be . Montr.

Cure me , and Montrosse welth shall all be thine .

Andel.

T is all one for dat : shall doe presently ; Madam , prea marke me : Monseiur , shamp dis in your two shaps , so , now Monsieur Long-villaine , dis so : nowe dis , feare noting , t is eshelent medicyne : so , now cram dis into your guts , and belly : So , now snap away dis whoreson fowre diuela ; Ha , ha , Is no point good ? Puts Gallowayes hornes off .

Athelst. This is most strange . Wast painefull Longauyle ? Longa.

Ease tooke them off , and there remaines no paine .

Agrip.

O trie thy sacred Physicke on me .

Andel.

No by my trat , t is no possibla , t is no possibla , al de mattra , all de ting , all de substance , all de medicyne , be among his and his belly : t is no possibla , till me prepare more .

Athelst.

Prepare it then , and thou shalt haue more gold From Englands Coffers , then thy life can wast .

Andel.

I mush buy many costily tings dat grow in Arabia , in Asia , and America , by my trat t is no possibla , till anoder time , no point .

Agrip. There 's nothing in the world , but may for gold Be bought in England , hold your lap i le rayne A shower of Angels . Andel.

Fie , fie , fie , fie , you no credit le dockature ? Ha , but vel , t is all one for tat : t is no mattera for gold : Uel , vel , vel , vel , vel , me haue some more , prea say noting , shall bee presently prepara for your hornes .

Shee has my purse , and yonder lies my Hat , Worke braines , and once more make me fortunat .

Uel , vel , vel , vel , be patient Madam , presently , presently , be patient , mee haue two , trée , fowre and fiue medicines for de horne : presently Madam , stand you der , prea wid all mine art , stand you all der : and say noting , so : nor looke noting dis vey : so , presently , presently Madam , snip dis horne off wid de rushes & anoder ting by and by , by and by , by and by , prea looke none dis vey , and say noting . Gets his Hat vp .

Athelst. Let no man speake , or looke , vpon his life . Doctor , none here shall rob thée of thy skill . Andel.

So , taka dis hand : winck now prea artely wid your two nyes : why so .

Would I were with my brother Ampedo . Exit with her .

Agrip.

Helpe , Father , helpe , I am hurried hence perforce .

Andel. Draw weapons , where s the princesse , follow him , Stay the French Doctor , stay the Doctor there . Cornwall and some other run out , and enter presently . Cornw. Stay him , sh'art who dare stay him ? t is the diuell In likenesse of a Frenchman , of a Doctor . Looke how a rascall kyte hauing swept vp A Chicken in his clawes , so flies this hell-hound In th' ayre with Agripyne in his armes . Orle. Count euery man vpon his swiftest horse . Flie seuerall waies , he cannot beare her farre . Gall. These paths wee le beate . Exeunt Gall . & Orleans . Lincol. And this way shall be mine . Cornw. This way , my Leige , i le ride . Athelst. And this way I : No matter which way , to séeke miserie . Exit Athelst. Longa.

I can ride no way , to out-runne my shame .

Montr. Yes , Longauile , let s gallop after too , Doubtlesse this Doctor was that Irish diuell , That cozend vs , the medicine which he gaue vs , Tasted like his Damasco villanie . To horse , to horse , if we can catch this fiend , Our forked shame shall in his heart bloud end . Longa. O how this mads me , that all tongues in scorne , Which way so ere I ryde , cry , Ware the horne . Exeunt . Enter Andelocia , with Agripyne , Ampedo and Shaddow . Agrip. O gentle Andelocia pittie me , Take off this infamie , or take my life . Andel.

Your life ? you thinke then that I am a true Doctor indéede , that tie vp my lining in the knots of winding shéetes : your life ? no , kéepe your life , but deliuer your purse : you know the theifes salutation , Stand & deliuer . So , this is mine , and these yours : I le teach you to liue by the sweate of other mens browes .

Shad.

And to striue to be fairer then God made her .

Andel.

Right , Shaddow : therefore vanish , you haue made me turne Iugler , and crie hey-passe , but your hornes shall not repasse .

Agrip.

O gentle Andelocia .

And.

Andelocia is a Nettle : if you touch him gently , hée le sting you .

Shad.

Or a rose , if you pul his swéete stalke , hée le prick you .

Andel.

Therefore not a word , goe , trudge to your Father : sigh not for your purse , money may be got by you , as well as by the little Welsh woman in Cyprus , that had but one horne in her head , you haue two ; and perhaps you shall cast both : as you vse me , marke those words well , as you vse me , nay , y' are best flie , i le not endure one word more . Yet stay too , because you intreate me so gently , and that i le make some amends to your Father , although I care not for any King in Christendome , yet hold you , take this Apple , eate it as you goe to court , and your hornes shall play the cowards and fall from you .

Agrip.

O gentle Andelocia .

And.

Nay away , not a word .

Shad.

Ha , ha , ha , &c. Ware hornes . Exit Agrip. weeping .

Andel.

Why doest thou laugh , Shaddow ?

Shad.

To see what a horne plague followes coueteousnesse and pride .

Amp.

Brother , what misteries lie in all this ?

Andel.

Trickes , Ampedo , trickes , deuises , and mad Herogliphickes , mirth , mirth , and melody . O , there 's more musicke in this , then all the Gammoth ares , and Sol fa Res , in the world ; here 's the purse , and here 's the Hat : because you shal be sure i le not start , weare you this , you know his vertue ; if danger beset you , flie & away : A sort of broken-shind limping legd Iades runne hobling to séeke vs : Shaddow , wée le for all this haue one fit of mirth more , to make vs laugh and be fat .

Shad.

And when we are fat , master , wée le doe as all gluttons doe , laugh and lie downe .

Andel.

Hie thée to my chamber , make ready my richest attire , i le to Court presently .

Shad.

I le goe to Court in this attire , for apparell is but the shaddow of a man , but shaddow is the substance of his apparell . Exit Shaddow .

Andel.

Away , away , and méete me presently .

Amp. I had more néede to crie , away to thée . Away , away with this wilde lunacie , Away with ryots . Andel.

Away with your puritie , brother , y' are an Asse , why doth this purse spit out gold but to be spent ? why liues a man in this world , to dwell in the Suburbs of it , as you doe ? Away forren simplicitie , away : are not eyes made to sée faire Ladies : hearts to loue them ? tongues to court them , & hands to féele them ? Out you Stocke , you stone , you logs end : Are not legs made to daunce , and shall mine limp vp and downe the world after your cloth-stockin-héeles ? you haue the Hat , keepe it , anon i le visit your vertuous countenance againe , adew , pleasure is my swéete mistris , I weare her loue in my Hat , and her soule in my heart : I haue sworne to bee merry , and in spite of Fortune and the blacke-browd destinies , i le neuer be sad . Exit .

Amped. Goe , foole , in spite of mirth , thou shalt be sad . I le burie halfe thy pleasures in a graue Of hungrie flames , this fire I did ordaine To burne both purse and Hat : as this doth perish , So shall the other : count what good and bad They both haue wrought , the good is to the ill , As a small Pible to a mightie hill . Thy glorie and thy mischiefes here shall burne , Good gifts abuzde to mans confusion turne . Enter Longauile , and Montrosse with Souldiers . Longa. This is his brother ; Souldiers , bind his armes . Montr. Bind armes and legs , and hale the fiend a way . Amp. Unciuill : wherefore must I taste your spite ? Longa. Art thou not one of Fortunatus sonnes ? Amped. I am , but he did neuer doe you wrong . Longa. The diuell thy brother has , villaine , looke here . Montr. Where is the beautious purse and wishing Hat ? Amped. My brother Andelocia has the purse , This way hee le come anon to passe to court , Alas , that sinne should make mens hearts so bold , To kill their soules for the base thirst of gold . The wishing Hat is burnt . Montr. Burnt ? Souldiers bind him . Tortures shall wring both hat and purse from you , Uillaine , i le be reueng'd for that base scorne , Thy hell-hound brother clapt vpon my head . Longa. Aud so will Longauyle . Away with him . Montr. Drag him to yonder towre , there shackle him , And in a paire of Stockes , locke vp his héeles , And bid your wishing Cap deliuer you . Giue vs the purse and Hat , wée le set thée frée , Els rot to death and starue . Amp. Oh tyranny , you néed not scorne the badge which you did beare : Beasts would you be , though hornes you did not weare . Montr. Drag hence the cur : come noble Longauyle , One's sure , and were the other fiend as fast , Their pride should cost their liues : their purse and Hat Shall be both ours , wée le share them equally . Longa. That will be some amends for arming me . Enter Andelocia and Shaddow after him . Montr. Peace , Longauyle , yonder the gallant comes . Longa. Y' are well encountred . Andel. Thankes , Lord Longauyle . Longa. The king expects your presence at the court . Andel. And thither am I going . Shad. Pips fine , fine apples of Tamasco , ha , ha , ha . Montr. Wert thou that Irishman that cozend vs ? Shad. Pips fine , ha , ha , ha , no not I : not Shaddow . Andel. Were not your Apples delicate and rare ? Longa. The worst that ere you sold ; Sirs , bind him fast . Andel. What , wil you murder me ? helpe , help , some helpe . Shad. Helpe , helpe , helpe . Exit Shaddow . Montr. Follow that Dog , and stop his balling throate . Andel. Uillaines , what meanes this barbarous trechery ? Longa. We meane to be reueng'd for our disgrace . Montr. And stop the golden current of thy wast . Andel. Murder , they murder me , O call for helpe . Long. Thy voice is spent in vaine , come , come , this purse , This wel-spring of your prodigalitie . Andel. Are you appointed by the king to this ? Montr. No , no , rise , spurne him vp : know you who 's this ? Andel. My brother Ampedo ? Alas , what fate Hath made thy vertues so infortunate ? Amp. Thy ryot and the wrong of these two Lords , Who ( causelesse ) thus do starue me in this prison . Longa. Striue not y' are best , villaines , lift in his legs . Andel. Traitors to honor , what doe you intend ? Longa. That ryot shall in wretchednesse haue end . Question thy brother with what cost hée s fed , And so assure thou shalt be banquetted . Exeunt they two . Amp. In want , in miserie , in woe and care , Poore Ampedo his fill hath surfeted : My want is famine , bolts my miserie , My care and woe should be thy portion . Andel. Giue me that portion , for I haue a heart Shall spend it fréely , and make bankrowt The proudest woe that euer wet mans eye . Care with a mischiefe ? wherefore should I care ? Haue I rid side by side by mightie kings , Yet be thus bridled now ? I le teare these fetters . Murder , crie murder , Ampedo , alowd . To beare this scorne our Fortunes are too proud . Amp. O folly , thou hast powre to make flesh glad , When the rich soule in wretchednesse is clad . Ande. Peace , foole , am not I Fortunes minion ? These bands are but one wrincle of her frowne , This is her Euening maske , her next mornes eye Shall ouer-shine the Sunne in maiestie . Amp. But this sad night will make an end of me . Brother , farwell , griefe , famine , sorrow , want , Haue made an end of wretched Ampedo . Andel. Where is the wishing Hat ? Amp. Consum'd in fire . Ande. Accursed be those hands that did destroy it , That would redéeme vs , did we now enioy it . Amp. Wanton farwel , I faint , deaths frozen hand Congeales lifes little Riuer in my brest . No man before his end is truely blest . Dyes . Andel. O miserable , miserable soule . Thus a foule life makes death to looke more foule . Enter Longauyle and Montrosse with a halter . Longa. Thus shall this golden purse diuided be , One day for you , another day for me . Montr. Of daies anon , say , what determine you , Shall they haue libertie , or shall they die ? Long. Die sure : and sée , I thinke the elder 's dead . And. I , murderers , he is dead . O sacred wisdome , Had Fortunatus béene enamored Of thy celestiall beautie , his two sonnes Had shind like two bright Sunnes . Longa. Pul hard , Montrosse . Andel. Come you to strangle me ? are you the hangman ? Hell-hounds y' are dam'd for this impietie . Fortune , forgiue me , I deserue thy hate , My selfe haue made myselfe a reprobate : Uertue , forgiue me , for I haue transgrest Against thy lawes , my vowes are quite forgot , And therefore shame is falne to my sinnes lot . Riches and knowledge are two gifts diuine . They that abuse them both as I haue done , To shame , to beggerie , to hell must runne . O conscience hold thy sting , cease to afflict me . Be quicke , tormentors , I desire to die . No death is equall to my miserie . Cyprus , vaine world , and Uanitie farwell . Who builds his heauen on earth , is sure of hell . Lon. He 's dead : in some déepe vault let s throw their bodies . Montr. First let vs sée the purse , Lord Longauyle . Longa. Here t is , by this wée le fill this towre with gold . Montr. Frenchman , this purse is counterfeit . Longa. Thou lyest . Scot , thou hast cozend me , giue me the right , Els shall thy bosome be my weapons graue . Montr. Villaine , thou shalt not rob me of my due . They fight : Enter Athelstane , Agripyna , Orleans , Galloway , Cornewall , Chester , Lincolne , and Shaddow with weapons at one dore : Fortune , Vice , and their attendants at another dore . All . Lay hands vpon the murderers , strike them downe . Fortune . Surrender vp this purse , for this is mine . All . I le these two diuels , of some powers diuine ? Shad.

O , see , sée , O my two masters , poore Shaddowes substances ; what shall I doe ? whose body shall Shaddow now follow ?

Fort. Peace , Ideot , thou shalt find rich heapes of fooles , That will be proud to entertaine a Shaddow . I charme thy babling lips from troubling me . You need not hold them , sée , I smite them downe Lower then hell : base soules , sincke to your heauen . Vice . I doe arrest you both my prisoners . Fort. Stand not amazde , you gods of earth , at this , Shée that arresteth these two fooles is Uice , They haue broke Vertues laws , Vice is her serfeant , Her Iayler and her executioner . Looke on those Cypriots , Fortunatus sonnes , They and their Father were my minions , My name is Fortune . All . O dread deitie . Fort. Knéele not to me : if Fortune list to frowne , You néed not fal downe , for shae le spurne you downe . Arise , but fooles , on you i le triumph thus . What haue gaind by being couetous ? This prodigall purse did Fortunes bounteous hand Bestow on them , their ryots made them poore , And set those markes of miserable death , On all their pride , the famine of base gold Hath made your soules to murders hands be sold , Onely to be cald rich But Ideots sée The vertues to be fled , Fortune hath causd it so , Those that will all deuowre , must all forgoe . Athelst. Most sacred Goddesse . Fortune . Peace , you flatterer . Thy tongue but heapes more vengeance on thy head . Fortune is angrie with thée , in thée burnes A greedie couetous fire ; in Agripyne Pride like a Monarch reuels , and those sinnes Haue lead you blind-fold to your former shames , But Vertue pardond you , and so doth Fortune . Athelst. & Agrip. All thankes to both your sacred deities , Fort. As for these Mettall-eaters , these base thieues , Who rather then they would be counted poore , Will dig through hell for gold , you were forgiuen By Vertues generall pardon ; her broad seale Gaue you your liues , when shée tooke off your hornes . Yet hauing scarse one foote out of the Iayle , You tempt damnation by more desperate meanes , You both are mortall , and your paines shall ring Through both your eares , to terrifie your soules , As please the Iudgement of this mortall king . Athelst. Faire Empresse of the world , since you resigne Your power to me , this sentence shall be mine , Thou shalt be torturd on a whéele to death , Thou with wild horses shalt be quartered . Vice . Ha , ha , weake Iudge , weake iudgement , I reuerse That sentence , for they are my prisoners , Embalme the bodies of those Cypriots , And honour them with princely buriall , For those doe as you please , but for these two , I kisse you both , I loue you , y' are my minions , Untie their hands , Uice doth repriue you both , I set you frée . Both . Thankes , gracious deitie . Vice . Be gon , but you in libertie shall find More bondage then in chaines , fooles , get you hence , Both wander with tormented conscience . Longa. O horrid Iudgement , that s the hell in déede . Mon. Come , come , our death ne're ends if conscience bléede . Both . O miserable , miserable men . Exeunt . Fortune . Fortune triumphes at this , yet to appeare , All like my selfe , that which from those I tooke , King Athelstane I will bestow on thée , And in it the old vertue I infuse : But , king , take héede how thou my gifts doest vse . England shall ne're be poore , it England striue , Rather by vertue , then by wealth to thriue . Enter Vertue , crownd : Nymphes and kings attending on her , crownd with Oliue branches and lawrels , musicke sounding . Vice . Uertue ? alas good soule , shée hides her head . Vert. What enuious tongue said , Uertue hides her head ? Vice . Shée that will driue thée into banishment . Fort. Shée that hath conquers thée ; how dar'st thou come , Thus trickt in gawdy Feathers , and thus garded , Which crowned kings and Muses , when thy foe Hath trod thus on thee , and now triumphes so ? Where 's vertuous Ampedo ? See , hée s her slaue , For following thée this recompence they haue . Vert. Is Ampedo her stane ? Why that s my glorie . The Idiots cap I once wore on my head , Did figure him , those that ( like him ) doe muffle Uertue in clouds , and care not how shée shine , I le make their glorie like to his decline : He made no vse of me , but like a miser , Lockt vp his wealth in rustie barres of sloth : His face was beautifull , but wore a maske , And in the worlds eyes seemd a Blackamore . So perish they that so keepe vertue poore . Vice . Thou art a foole to striue , I am more strong , And greater then thy selfe , then Uertue flie , And hide thy face , yeeld me the victorie . Vert. Is Uice higher then Uertue : that s my glorie , The higher that thou art , thou art more horrid , The world will loue me for my comlynesse . Fortu. Thine owne selfe loues thy selfe : why on the heads Of Agripyne , Montresse and Longauyle , ( English , Scot , French ) did Uice clap vgly hornes , But to approue that English , French and Scot , And all the world els , kneele and honour Uice , But in no Countrie , Uertue is of price ? Vert. Yes , in all Countries Uertue is of price . In euery kingdome some diuiner brest Is more enamord of me then the rest . Haue English , Scot , and French bowd knees to thee ? Why that s my glorie too , for by their shame , Men will abhor thee and adore my name . Fortune , thou art too weake , Uice th' art a foole , To fight with me , I suffred you awhile , T' ecclips my brightnes , but I now will shine , And make you sweare your beautie 's base to mine . Fort. Thou art too insolent , see here 's a court Of mortall Iudges , let s by them be tride , Which of vs three shall most be deifide . Vice . I am content . Fort. And I . Vert. So am not I . My Iudge shall be your sacred deitie . Vice . O miserable me , I am vndon . Exit Vice and her traine . All . O stop the horrid monster . Vert. Let her runne . Fortune , who conquers now ? Fort. Uertue , I see , Thou wilt triumph both ouer her and me . All . Empresse of heauen and earth . Fort. Why doe you mocke me ? Kneele not to me , to her transfer your eyes , There sits the Queene of Chance , I bend my knees , Lower then yours : dread goddesse , t is most meete , That Fortune fall downe at thy conqu'ring feete . Thou sacred Empresse that commandst the Fates , Forgiue what I haue to thy handmaid don , And at thy Chariot wheeles Fortune shall run , And be thy captiue and to thee resigne All powers which heau'ns large Patent haue made mine . Vert. Fortune th' art vanquisht : sacred deitie , O now pronounce who winnes the victorie , And yet that sentence needes not , since alone , Your vertuous presence Uice hath ouer-throwne , Yet to confirme the conquest on your side , Looke but on Fortunatus and his sonnes Of all the welth those gallants did possesse , Onely poore Shaddow is left comfortlesse , Their glorye 's faded and their golden pride . Sha. Only poore Shadow tels how poore they died . Vert. All that they had , or mortall men can haue , Sends onely but a Shaddow from the graue . Uertue alone liues still , and liues in you , I am a counterfeit . you are the true , I am a Shaddow , at your feete I fall , Begging for these , and these , my selfe and all . All these that thus doe kneele before your eyes , Are shaddowes like my selfe , dred Nymph it lyes In you to make vs substances . O doe it , Uertue I am sure you loue , shee woes you to it . I read a verdict in your Sun-like eyes , And this it is : Uertue the victorie . All . All loudly cry , Uertue the victorie . Vert. Uertue the victorie : for ioy of this , Those selfe same himnes which you to Fortune sung Let them be now in Uertues honour rung .
The Song . Uertue smiles : crie hollyday , Dimples on her cheekes doe dwell , Uertue frownes , crie wellada , Her loue is Heauen , her hate is Hell . Since heau'n and hell obey her power , Tremble when her eyes doe lowre . Since heau'n and hell her power obay , Where shee smiles , crie hollyday , Hollyday with ioy we crie , And bend , and bend , and merily , Sing hymnes to vertues deitie : Sing hymnes to Uertues deitie .
As they all offer to goe in , Enter the two old men .
The Epilogue at Court . 1. NAy stay , poore pilgrims , when I entred first The circle of this bright celestiall Sphaere , I wept for ioy , now I could weepe for feare . 2 I feare we all like mortall men shall proue Weake ( not in loue ) but in expressing loue . 1 Let euery one beg once more on his knee , One pardon for himselfe , and one for mee , For I intic'd you hither : O deere Goddesse , Breathe life in our nombd spirits with one smile , And from this cold earth , we with liuely soules Shal rise like men ( new-borne ) & make heau'n sound With Hymnes sung to thy name , and praiers that we May once a yeere so oft enioy this sight , Til these yong boyes change their curld locks to white , And when gray-winged Age sits on their heads , That so their children may supply their Steads , And that heau'ns great Arithmetician , ( Who in the Scales of Nomber weyes the world ) May still to fortie two , and one yeere more , And stil adde one to one , that went before , And multiply fowre tennes by many a ten : To this I crie Amen . All . Amen , Amen . 1 Good night ( deere mistris ) those that wish thee harme , Thus let them stoope vnder destructions arme . All . Amen , Amen , Amen . Exeunt . FINIS . Tho. Dekker .
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vs. See howe gloriouslly the Moone shines vpon vs boarie out in print some filthie booke of the olde hoarie wandring Knight , meaning me : would I were forceresse Accursed Quéene of chaunce , damn'd sorceresse . ▪ No more : curse on : your cries to me are Musicke 〈◊〉 our celestiall browes doe sit Un numbred smiles , which then leaps from their throne , When ▪ Images of Leame , In gawdie silken colours : on the backes Of Mules and Asses I make this grace . As these I haue aduaunc'd , so will I thee ▪ Six gifts I spend vpon mortalitie , Wisedome ▪ As these I haue aduaunc'd , so will I this . Six gifts I spend vpon mortalitie , Wisedome obiest féete trample on Emperie ; Make Health thine obiect , thou shalt be strong proofe , Gainst the amorousty and within thine eyes , Two naked Cupids amorously shall swim , And on thy chéekes ile mixe ▪ Musicke with her siluer sound . Trie déeper : ha God be here : Ha , ha , 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 ha Musicke with her siluer sound . Trie déeper ▪ ho God be here : Ha , ha , 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , G●d with her siluer sound . Trie déeper ▪ ha God be here : Ha , ha , 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , be ast , he must leaue his burthen to some other beast . Monsteur they rot in those shop Counters , except Monsieur money baile them . Shaddow , I am out of Famag●sta euery day : I am out of my wits , to sée our Famagosta fooles , turne halfe a shop of wares into Antumnes intice : Why hang these leaues , As loose as Autumnes haire ( which euery wind , In mockerie blowes Fied Wisedome I know hath with her blessed wings Fled to some bosome : if I méete that brest , de formitie intice my Paramour ; Then will I cast off this deformitie , And shine in glorie , and triumph to sée beaven once chide , My gilded browes from amorous heaven I hide . Corsiets there stands mine Armourie , In which are corslets forg'd of beaten gold , To arme ten hundred sqaudrons thousand fighting men , Whose glittering squadrons when the Sunne beholds , They seeme like thre●● Thracian song , ) The black-browd Empresse threw to Morpheus , Being come to fetch Euridice Mopheus song , ) The black-browd Empresse threw to Morpheus , Being come to fetch Euridice from hell vn●● 〈…〉 I will not violate , But now vncouer 〈…〉 of this Hatte . 〈…〉 〈…〉 I will not violate , But now vn●● the vertues of this Hatte . 〈…〉 I think none listen ; if they doe , they die . 〈…〉 None lis●●● : tell: what néedes this iealousie ? 〈◊〉 You sée tis poore in shew ; did I want Iewels , Gold could ▪ Stay , Fortunatus , stay , I am vndone . Treason , Lords , treason Iewellgon clouds ; Bearing my soule with him , for that Iewell gon , I am dead , and all is drosse in Babylon snowle age now nips your bloud , And strowes her snowie flowers vpon your head , And giue you warning fantastic●●s with Ladies , worne straunge attires , séene fantasticoes , conuerst with humorists , béene rauisht wxetched strikes thee , So shall their ends sudden and wretched bee . Ioves daughters ( righteous destinies ▪ O Ampedo , I faint ; helpe me , my sonnes . Reague Away , you Roague , my Father die a begger ? Ile build a Tombe sadge I shal neuer fadge with the humor because I cannot lie . preue a poore straunger ) my best powres shall proue , By Acts of worth , the soundnes of my slucke Spangles of pure gold , As ere the spring hath stucke the earth with flowers . Unlesse he melt Abounteous heauen in these times : throw the musicians a bounteous largesse of thrée hundred Angels ▪ Shal I buy these spices to day or to morrow ? ▪ red-cheekt Apples , that cry come kisse me : Apples , hold your peace , ile teach you thon stay , O I am vndone , Swéete Agripyna , if thou hearst my voice , Take pittie of me , and ▪ , Take pittie of me , and returne againe . Shée flies like lightning : O she heares soule : my body hornes must beare , Because my foule deformitie doth weare . Liues none within hatt Oh now I sée , This fruit is thine , thou hast deformed mée : Ideot auoide , thy gifts thorten O sacred Quéene of chance , now shorten mine , Else let thy deitie take off this ▪ Tis rare , farwell , I neuer yet durst wooe . None loues me : 〈◊〉 Agripyne , and him defie , That dares but loue her halfe so well as I . O pardon me , I ▪ Will Orleans then be mad ? O gentle friend . ▪ can no point shose but laugh , Ha , ha , ha , to marke how like trée bul-beggera , dey pertious horne , difficill , and very deepe , tis perilous , a grand Laroone . But Madam , prea be A●●e. Athe. Thrc● Thrice haue we parde them off , but with fresh A●●●l. Andel. ▪ de medicyne , be among his and his belly : tis no possibla , till me prepare more . ppesently nor looke noting dis vey : so , presently , presently Madam , snip dis horne off wid de rushes Ainpedo Would I were with my brother Ampedo . I●e Ile these two diuels , of some powers diuine ▪ not fal downe , for shaele spurne you downe . Arise , but fooles , on you ile triumph slatterer Peace , you flatterer . Thy tongue but heapes more vengeance on ▪ both your eares , to terrifie your soules , As please the Iudgement of this mortall vestow from those I tooke , King Athelstane I will bestow on thée , And in it the old vertue I infuse attendin Enter Vertue , crownd : Nymphes and kings attending on her , crownd with Oliue branches and sarred Fortune th'art vanquisht : sacred deitie , O now pronounce who winnes the ▪ sung Let them be now in Uertues honour rung . intie'd pardon for himselfe , and one for mee , For I intic'd you hither : O deere Goddesse , Breathe