WHo shal giue water vnto Esai . 9. my head , and a fountaine of teares for mine eyes , that I may be able to lament and bewayle the losses of my soule with griefe agreeable thereunto ? for there is a manifest and great cause of sorowe , when with the sight of my minde I behold mine auncient dayes , and my youthfull yeeres : in this meditation my Psal. 76. spirite hath failed me : for I Psal. 79. knowe what I was , yea rather what I should haue beene , and vnderstand what I am , and feare what I shall be : and the lesse I sorowe , so much the more I feare . I would to God I sorowed more , that I might feare lesse . But woe to me , O Lorde , for nowe a long time thou smitest , and yet I sorowe not : thou callest , and yet I heare not : thou knockest , and yet I open not the barre of my heart . The sorowes of death Psal. 114. compasse me rounde about : and being filled with many sorowes without , I feele inwardly no sorowe that may worke vnto saluation . And I feele not onely the sorowes of old age , but I am a man of sorow from my youth vpward , and all my Psal. 87. dayes are full of trauaile and griefes : and yet I sorowe , because that alway sorowing , I Psal. 53. cannot sorowe . O marueilous Eccles. 2. and vnspeakeable wisedome of the heauenly Physitian ! O wonderfull goodnesse of the high King ! O singular benefite of him that is the giuer of all good things ! for thou , O God , giuest vnto me sorowe , least I perish in pleasures , and that I may learne to reioyce without offence : thou giuest me sorowe for a time , that I may not suffer euerlasting paines : thou afflictest my body , that thou mayest saue my soule : thou scourgest , that thou mayest heale : and killest , that thou mayest quicken . But alas , vnwillingly doe I receiue thy salue out of the secrete hand of thy mercie : and being ignorant , doe not acknowledge the soueraigne medicine of healthfull sorowes , wherewith thou art mercifully seuere against me , and how doe I acknowledge it . If I earnestly desire to be deliuered from sorowes , who without sorowes cannot be healed ? for howe shall he be healed without sorowes , who by delightes is made sicke ? Therfore , O Lord , make me to sorowe , and teach me a sauing sorowe , that my griefe may be turned into ioy , Iohn 16. Psal. 12. and that I may reioyce in thy saluation , saying : Glory be to the Father , and to the Sonne , and to the holy Ghost . As it was in the beginning , &c.

DAyes passe , and yeeres slide away : but I vnhappie man , who after so many corruptions of my soule , after so many most grieuous and long falles , doe not yet repent , nor am afflicted for my sinnes , neglect the often falling againe into them , care not for rising from them , heaping newe vnto olde , and greater vnto lesse . What shall I doe , O Lord ? or whither shall I goe , Psal. 138 when my last time shall come ? where shall I be hidden from the countenance of thy wrath ? or whither shall I flie away from thy face , when thou shalt call me vnto iudgement , and require of me accompt of the talent giuen vnto me ? What shall I answere vnto thee ? or howe shall I excuse my negligence , when thou shalt sit vpon the throne of thy Maiestie , and command me to giue accompt of my stewardship to Matth. 5. Luke 16. the vttermost farthing ? Surely I will say , Lord , I suffer violence , answere for me : for who Esai 38. am I that I shoulde answere vnto thee in iudgement ? But what if thou compel me to answere ? I will say as a man confounded , fearing , and trembling : O Lord , I haue gained Matt. 25. nothing thereupon . Yea I haue Luke 15. wickedly and vainely consumed thy talent , and by loose liuing I haue spent thy goods . surely I haue spoken foolishly , by saying liuing : for I should better haue sayed by dying . But I then thought I liued , and loe I was dead , because I liued without thee my true life . And if I liued at any time with thee , I scarce remember it . Yea , if the life of a wicked man , may rather be called death , then life , I may worthily say , that I sooner began to die , then liue . For I did not perfectly vnderstand what life was , when I had forsaken thee that art the life of liues , and the fountaine of life , & malice did supplie mine age in manifold wickednesse . I was scarce come out of my mothers wombe , and already was a sinner . Comming into the world , being yet ignorant of sinne , I did bewaile the sinne wherein my parents begotte me : neither did I altogether leaue bewailing others sinnes , when I committed mine owne which I knowe , and did not be wayle . Being an infant , I followed iniquities , and spent my childehood , wherein I S. August . should haue beene pure , vnpurely : there breathed sinfull vapours from the slimie concupiscence of my flesh , and the spring of my youth , and did shadow my heart , that it could not discerne light from darkenesse , and the cleerenes of the mind , from the mist of lust : and traitrous and craftie pleasures did carie my weake forgetfull loose age , into the headlong rockes of lust , so as I boyled vp in whorings , desiring to be satisfied in hell : from my childehood I grewe to growing yeeres , neither was I sooner growing towards youth , then my wickednes did growe ripe : and I was bold to growe wilde in diuers and shadowie lustes , by the which being drawen and entised with the gulfe of wickednesse , I was Iames 1. 1. Tim. 6. drowned to death and destruction . The euill and wicked dayes of my growing yeeres passed on , and I grewe toward youth : but I returned backward so much filthie in vanities , as I was elder . I was a yong man , and came to be a man : but vice alwayes florished in me in steade of vertue . I waxed olde and gray , and did not walke in thy wayes : but as a child of an hundred yeres , being nowe an olde man , I liue childishly . Where then haue I beene at any time innocent that I would be iudged of thee according vnto the time of mine innocencie , though thou diddest appoint it me vnto iudgement ? For Psal. 118. Psal. 61. Iob. 9. thou art iust , O Lord , and righteous is thy iudgement , and thou renderest to euery man according to his workes . And I feare all mine , because they are the workes of darkenesse : and I haue beene a worker of iniquitie from the beginning , and haue alway willingly followed the pathes of the vnrighteous . I haue wallowed in sinne as the swine in filthines , and as he was fed with coddes : so was I delighted with filthie and vaine wordes , and grieued with earnest & profitable sayings . I did communicate with those that wrought iniquitie , & did banquet with the chiefe of them , & did glorie in sinne , Psal. 51. being mightie in iniquitie . I loued to excuse , and could not accuse my selfe , and made heauie my heart : and the more vncurable is my sinne , for that I did not thinke my selfe to be a sinner . Neither did I only not seeke a medicine for my soule , that was sicke vnto death , but refused it being offered : yea , with an vnreuerent and vntamed mind was wroth against them , that would minister it vnto me . I persecuted them that reprooued me , and imbraced them that spake pleasingly to me , and was delighted in their speeches , that had not their heart right vnto thee . I studied deuises and lies , and in all things loued rather darknesse Iohn 3. then light . Beholde , O Lord , I haue declared my selfe vnto thee : this is the course of my life , wherein I haue deserued thy wrath . This will I answere vnto thee , when thou shalt aske me of me : But doe Psal. 25. not remember the offences of my youth , nor my ignorances , O Lorde : and enter not into Psal. 142 iudgement with thy seruant , for no liuing creature shall be iustified in thy sight : but if thou Esai . 61. wilt enter , because thou art a God that louest iudgement , doe iudgement vnto me , but not iustice , and iudge me according Psal. 18. to the iudgement of those that loue thy name , that I may sing vnto thee mercie Psal. 106. and iudgement . Remember , O Lord , that though I am wicked , yet am I thy seruant , and the sonne of thy handmaide , Psal. 81. and doe not looke vnto the multitude of my miseries , but vnto the greatnes of thy mercies : Abak. 3. and when thou shalt be angrie against me for my wickednesse : remember thy mercie , that thou bee not angrie with me for euer , but haue mercie vpon thy afflicted seruant , that my soule may praise thee , and confesse thy mercifulnesse . Glory be to the Father , and to the Sonne , and to the holy Ghost . As it was in the beginning , &c.

WOe vnto me , O wretched man , because I haue made my Redeemer angrie against me , and haue rebelliously neglected his Law . I haue willingly forsaken the right way , and as a sheepe that Psal. 62. refuseth his shepheard , I haue beene caried farre and wide round about through drie vnwatered places , wandring in the wildernesse , and not in the way . I haue gone to all rough vnaccessable places , and euery Sapi. 3. where was anguish and tribulation . I haue beene wearied in the way of iniquitie and perdition , and haue walked in hard wayes , seeking rest , & finding none , because I did not seeke thee , O Lord , but was in a barren lande , in the countrie of death , where is no rest , but continuall labour and affliction of the spirit dwelleth there . When I was in honour , I did Psal. 48. not vnderstand : but as one of the flocke of brute beastes , my dwelling was among the walkes of wilde beasts . I dwelt in anguish with pleasures , and among thornes did I make my bed , and slept in death , and hoped for rest in torments . Nowe therefore what shall I doe ? whither shall I turne my selfe in these so great dangers ? All the hopes of my youth are fallen downe , and I am made like one that hath suffred shipwracke , who hauing lost his merchandize , swimmeth away naked , being tossed with wind and sea . I am caried farre from the hauen , and doe not take hold of the way of saluation , but am caried away on the left hand . The enemie hath placed nets for me which way soeuer I went , and snares for my feete : and I despised them , and walked securely in slipperie places , and flattered my selfe in sinnes . I thought youth was not helde by the lawe of death , and being deceiued by this confidence , I followed the filthie desires of my flesh , and gaue the raines beyonde all measure to sensualitie , following it whither soeuer the force thereof did carie me : and said , a foole in my heart , wherfore Psal. 5● . doest thou thinke of the ende before the middle ? thou hast many dayes yet remaining , and maiest be conuerted when thou listest . So waxed I olde in sinnes , and a most wicked custome was turned into nature : and nowe like a bondslaue vnto Barnard . sinne , I serue as it were inchained , and as a mad man haling his owne flesh , seeketh to hurt himselfe , all reason of deliberation being quenched : so I more grieuously and dangerously haue hated mine owne soule : for the impenitence of my heart , and obstinate wilfulnesse , hath layed violente and wicked hands vpon me , and hath torne in pieces and exulcerated my soule : and so hauing brought vnto my selfe the heapes of hell , euery day more and more according to my hardnesse and impenitent Rom. 2. heart , I doe whoord wrath against the day of wrath . I haue made triall sometime to shake off the olde yoke , but am not able , because it cleaueth to my bones . O that at length it may fall from my necke , that I may loue thee though late , it shall surely sal away , if thou O Lord command , and send me helpe from aboue . I confesse I haue not deserued it , but thou , O most gracious giuer , who makest the Sunne to rise indifferently vpon the good and bad , and grauntest temporall blessings to the vnworthy , euen when they aske them not : how canst thou denie spiritual things to those that shall require them ? Haue mercy therfore vpon me , O Lord , and fulfill the desire of a poore man , thou that art riche in mercie , Ephes. 2. and art woont cheerefully to Rom. 12. haue mercie , and doest purge the will from euill custome , and hearest the gronings of Psal. 101. those that are bound , and loosest vs from the bands which we haue made vnto our selues , vnlesse we raise vp against thee the hornes of false libertie . Giue thy right hand vnto the Iob 14. Psal. 36. worke of thine owne hands , that when I fall , I may not be bruised , and being bruised , I may not be drawen into the Esai . 14. deepe lake , wherein is no water . Deliuer me from the mouth Psal. 16. of the cruell lyon , that is ready for the praye , and gapeth after my soule , that he may deuoure it : for thou onely art my protectour and deliuerer , and in thy mercie alone is all my hope . Let thy mercie therefore Psal. 3● Psal. 3● be done vnto me , according as I haue trusted in thee . I haue trusted , and shall not be confounded , but obtaining my desire , shall sing vnto thee : Glory be to the Father , and to the Sonne , and to the holy Ghost . As it was in the beginning , &c.

MY nightes passe away in griese , and vexe me with innumerable terrors : my conscience shaketh me while I am awake , and I am tormented therewith as if I were wounded with a two edged sword : my sleepe is troubled with diuers illusions , bringing me no rest but trauaile : I watch all night in my thoughts , & when as being wearied I endeuour to giue some sleepe to mine eye lids , by and by sleepe departeth from mine eyes , and I sleepe alwayes in sorowes , being wakened with an vnquiet wearines from the care of the Iob 30. day , and all my inward partes are inflamed without rest . The Iob 33. meate which before I desired , is made abominable vnto my soule , and my drinke is mingled Psal. 101. with teares , and confusion is before mine eies , and rednes in my cheekes , when I remember how grieuously I haue offended thee , O my God , and in howe many sortes I haue abused my strength and thy gitfes : I haue spent my dayes in vanities , euerlasting cares haue consumed me , and being caried hither and thither with senseles cogitations , I haue spent my time . I fained to my selfe dreames oftentimes , and reioyced : and vanished away being deluded in my vanities and madnes : I ascended into Psal. 106. heauen , and by and by descended vnto the deepe : and while Psal. 41. one deepe calleth another , my soule did consume in euill , & I did rot before the eies of men . I wished impossible things , & by the fantasticall fruition of them , I was made like vnto them that sleepe , and rising from their sleepe , haue found nothing in their hands . I am a vile worme , and yet , O Lord , I did neuer know thee , but with an high forehead haue exalted my selfe alone aboue all . I haue rashly boasted of my wordes , and in pride thought them to be wisedome . I was an enemie vnto my companions , and being angrie with many did reproche them without cause . I hated patience & loued wrath , and would be angry without reason . I cursed my seruants and familiars , yea and my selfe also when I was angrie , and scornefully reproched my friends . I did vnwillingly beare mine aduersities , and haue put my trust in man , more then in God . I heard the trueth vnpatiently , and answered the wise in furie . I sought iniuries and reuenges willingly , and neuer reserued reuenge vnto God . I waxed cruell against him that defended his owne cause : neither did a soft answere , or a Prou. 6. gentle man please me . I tooke pleasure in strife and contention , and as a wicked man , did often sow discord & hatred among brethren . I receiued with mine eares wholesome and good counsels , but did not apprehend discipline . I did with a milde countenance beholde such counsailours as tickled mine eares : but those that spake vnto mee with a free minde , I put farre from me . I Tobia . helde not out my hand to the needie , neither did I eate my Tobit . bread with the hungrie : the beggers and lepers did lie in the streetes , and I passed away turning mine eies from them , least my bowels should be stirred , and I moued with mercie , should giue almes vnto them . I payed not my debt to them that did lende vnto me , and did borowe to satisfie my inordinate desire . I coueted to be rich , that I might doe vnlawfull things , and in all godly dueties shewed my self poore : and what I wanted to godlinesse , did largely abound vnto my lust . I reioyced beyonde measure in all gluttonie and bankets , and with vnsatiable greedinesse , offended nature that is contented with little . My belly was as it were my Philip. 3. god , & my glory in the shames of those that sauour earthly things . I sought the sweetest and most exquisite meates : and with the pretence of necessitie I did often shadowe the desire of pleasure . I put my Psal. 49. portion among the adulterers , and my familiar conuersation was among fornicators . I was immoderately conuersant in blood : and being like vnto bruite beastes , I was so ouerthrowne in this vice , that I shame to speake , what I shamed not to doe . Mine eare and my tongue serued vanitie , whilest by the one , the oile of sinners did make my head fat , and with the other I supplied often that , which others seemed to want concerning my prayse : and as oportunitie serued , I did set foorth to others mine owne prayse , and did alwayes reioyce to be set foorth both by mine owne , and other mens speeches . To conclude , I liued in all kinde of pleasure of this world , being banished farre and wide from the delightes of thy house : and if at any time the feare of death , and the last iudgement did quicken my slouth , and for a litle time call me from the deepe gulfe of pleasure , by and by I returned as a dogge to his vomite . Being dead in them , I yet liue , and abiding in death , I hasten to death , and see death also swift by comming vnto me . But let thy mercy , O Lord , Psal. 78. quickly preuent me , before that terrible day of miserie and calamitie doe come , the great Psal. 25. and bitter day , that though I Zeph. 1. die , I may liue , and declare thy mercies aboue all thy workes , Looke backe , O Lord , and beholde howe my soule lieth in her concupiscences sicke of the palsie , and is euill vexed there with : deliuer it from the fast birdlime of death , that it may cleaue vnto thee alone , who onely art the true life , and leauing all others follow thee that art aboue all . Say vnto my soule , O Lord God of my saluation , Psal. 27. 54. Math. 15 be it vnto thee as thou desirest : make me to heare this thy voyce , a voyce of reioycing and saluation , that I may runne after it , and take hold of thee , and keepe thee fast , and not let thee goe , vntill thou sendest me whole away . For being sicke , to whom shall I goe but to thee , that I may be cured : or who can heale mine infirmitie , but he that for man & mankind came downe from heauen , that they might be healed of their griefs ? who can 1. Reg● quicken , but he that doth mortifie & quicken all things ? who can saue but thou , O my God my Sauiour , in the time of tribulation ? saue therefore and quicken me , thou that art the life and euerlasting saluation of al that put their trust in thee . And to thee that art without 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . beginning , be glorie without end : to thee be praise and honour , to thee be continual worship , thankesgiuing , thou that art the euerlasting spring of mercies : for I was gone farre from thee , and did runne away , and yet thou doest speedily come to him that is sicke and runne away , when he calleth vpon thee , & doest graunt him health , before thou hearest his sighes : for to be willing to be healed is ynough , that thou shouldest heale , and to be willing to liue , that thou shouldest graunt life , and in the blessing of thy sweetenes doest thou preuent the desire Psal. 20. of a sinner that doeth knowe himselfe . Therefore I will say vnto thee , O Lord , and it shall suffice vnto me , I knowe mine Psal. 50. iniquitie , & what is it to know ? but I will bee healed ? and howe doe I know ? because all my bones are vexed within me , and my soule is very much Psal. 60. troubled for my sinnes . Behold nowe , I lay all mine iniquities before thy sight , O my God , Psal. 40. that thou mayest cure & heale my soule , because it hath sinned against thee . For as thou Psal. 5. art a God , that desirest not iniquitie : so wilt thou not the death of a sinner , but rather Ezec. 18. that hee should be conuerted , and liue . For the dead shall not prayse thee , O Lord , but wee Psal. 105. that liue , doe blesse the Lord , and confesse vnto him : for he is good , and his mercie is euerlasting . Glory be to the Father , and to the Sonne , and to the holy Ghost . As it was in the beginning , &c.

I Haue reuealed my miseries vnto thee , O Lord , not to make knowen my wayes vnto thee , that diddest know them all from the beginning , and hast numbred all my steps : for Iob 31. thou knowest the hidden places of darknesse , and all things Psal. 43. are naked and open to thine eyes , and thou doest not onely see , but also discerne the lurking Hebr. 4. places of our thoughtes , and the marrowe of our affections : but I vncouer that thou maiestcouer , and protect , I reueale that thou mayest hide , and knowe in me an humble and contrite spirite , and by the Psal. 50. offring of this sacrifice , which is most acceptable vnto thee : be mercifull vnto me , and forgiue Luke 18. my sinnes : I haue spoken many and great things , and yet haue saide little : for the worme of my conscience doth Barnard . pricke me in more , I would to God it might gnaw away the rottennesse , that by gnawing it might consume it , and withall be it selfe consumed : and that it begin not to be cherished in immortalitie , but let it bite , that it may die , and by little and little by biting leaue biting . But woe vnto me , for when I thinke I haue made an ende of telling my euils , then am I constrained to begin againe as it were , and my memorie being full of vncleannesse , doeth more abundantly remember much more filthinesse : for I haue sinned aboue the number of the sands of the sea : and if I had a hundred tongues , & a hundred mouths , I shall skarse answere one of a thousand thousand : yet that increaseth my griefe , that I can not remember all my filthines past , and the fleshly corruptions of my soule : for while I commit newe sinnes , I forget the olde , but those that I remember , I will not hide , not that I wil loue them any more , but that I may loue thee most earnestly , O my God : and that I remembring my most wicked wayes in the bitternesse of my remembrance , thou mayest S. Augu. be sweete vnto me , O sweetenesse that art not deceaueable , O amiable sweetenes , O happie and secure sweetenes , then enuie was familiar vnto me , and charitie was estranged from me , I slandered Kings & Princes , and the Ministers of the Church , and did bite them with a lying murmuring , I did disgrace the desertes and praises of the iust , and allowed the doings of the wicked : if at any time there were a commendable Fra. Petrarch . speeche concerning good men , I obiected false spots , and did discouer their secret infirmities , & for most light things did accuse them to others , as guiltie of a greater crime . Againe , if there were any infamie of the wicked , I did by and by set forwarde their slender vertues , and preferred them in desert before their betters , and so was cause of their greater ruine . If I sawe a thiefe , I did Psal. 44. runne with him , and to fulfill mine iniquitie , I raysed offence against my mothers sonne , & spared not to slander and deceiue my kinsefolke . I wished to my neighbours sorrow and ill happe , and in his death onely did I set my hope . I did not defend the cause of the innocent , & did vpbraide the guiltie as if I reioyced at their torments : I rashly iudged many guiltie of faultes , and seeing a litle moate in my brothers eie , I did not feele a great beame Luke 6. in my owneeie : I loued slouthfulnesse as my mother , & idlenesse was as my brother , and I did auoide all honest exercise and labour : I waxed heauie from day to day , and did not giue God thankes for his dayly benefites bestowed vpon me : and thou , O Lord knowest howe seldome I did by night meditate vpon thy lawe , and thy wonderfull workes : I often spent the whole night without sleepe , and when my mind did wander from thee hither and thither to many things , thou diddest neuer meet with it . I went to bed without thee , I lay in my bed without thee , I rose from my bed without thee , without thee the day shined vpon me , & passed wholly away without thee , and therefore was I alway without thee , because I was alway with my selfe , who in my darke affections am farre from thee : yet if at any time thou camest into my minde , and that I did begin to consider thy marueilous workes , suddenly the burthen of the worlde ( as in sleepe is vsuall ) did sweetely presse me downe , and my thoughtes wherewith I did meditate on thee , were like the endeuours of those that would wake , and yet conquered with the depth of sleepinesse , are drowned againe . I often purposed to determine of the affaires of my conscience , but the present day doeth alway delude me with the expectation of that which is to come . I rested vnto a brittle and deceitfull foundation , and leaned vpon a broken reede , & when as trusting thereto , I thought I stood sure , I fell into the fire , and when I S. Augu. fell , I knewe howe weakely I had stood . I gaped with an vnquencheable thirst after honour and gaine , and in these desires I suffered most cruell difficulties . Euery disordered & vndisciplined man was my friend , and I defiled the veine of friendship with the filth of concupiscence , and obscured the whitenesse thereof with hellish lust . Tragicall spectacles full of the showes of my miseries , and the foode of my fire did drawe me : and I did not only not shut the passages against death , but opened also S. Barnar . the windowes vnto it , and all my members were seuerall windowes through the which death entred into my soule . And so newe filthinesse growing on , I haue not purged the olde : nay rather from thence did spring in me many sinnes , for which I am cast out from before thy face , O my God , & being depriued of the comfort of thy presence , I fall almost into desperation , knowing not whither I goe : but departing from thee , whither shall I goe ? and who wil looke vpon my face , if thou turne thine away from me ? and as a reprobate depriue me of thy sight ? I shall vndoubtedly become hatefull vnto all men , and as a wanderer and runnagate in the land , I shal be made a shame & skorne vnto them , when they shall aske of me , where is thy God ? and wherefore Psal. 73. hath he put thee from him ? what shall I doe therefore , O wretched man that I am , when I see my selfe estranged from thy protection , and forsaken in the middest of mine enemies that fight mightely against me ? I wil seeke thy face , O Lorde , and with sighes beseech thy countenance not to leaue me , nor in anger to depart from thy seruant : for all mine enemies followe me as a fugitiue , that they may take & kill me , and therefore I must seeke refuge at thy hands , to whom I doe flie , O my God , my strength , my refuge , and my vertue , in the day of my tribulation : for as there is no Esai . 45. God beside thee , so also there is no Sauiour besides thee . Thou therefore , O Lord , that knowest all my miseries , and Psal. 102 from whom the worke of my weakenesse is not hidden : cast behind thy backe all mine offences , Psal. 7● . and doe not remember my old iniquities , but saue me Psal. 50. according to thy mercie , from all those that persecute me , and deliuer me , because there is none that can redeeme nor saue , but thou , O Lord , who sauest all that trust in thee , and Psal. 71. deliuerest the poore from the mightie , and from the handes of them that are stronger then he : hide not therefore thy face from me , O Lord , neither despise me , my sauing God , my strength , and my deliuerer : for Psal. 85. Psal. 10. I am poore and very needie , and thine eyes looke vpon the poore , and if thy iustice seeke me , hide me in the bosome of thy mercie , wherein thou hast with long suffering borne me , and inuited me to repentance : for thou art long suffering , patient , Psal. 102. and very mercifull , and excellent aboue al wickednes : Ioel 2. yea nothing is more proper vnto thee , then to spare and haue mercie alwayes : and therefore thou hast mercie on all , because thou canst doe all , and dissemblest the sinnes of men for repentance , and thou Sapi. 11. sparest all , because they are thine , O Lorde , who louest soules . Turne therefore vnto me , who am turned vnto thee , & deliuer mine afflicted soule from all danger , that my mouth may be filled with thy prayse , and say vnto thee : Blessed be Psal. 123. the Lord who hath not suffered me to be deliuered vnto the teeth of mine aduersaries : Except the Lorde had beene my helper , they had perhaps swallowed mee quicke : my soule as a sparrowe was deliuered from the snare of the fowlers , the snare is broken , and I am deliuered . Glory be to the Father , and to the Sonne , and to the holy Ghost . As it was in the beginning , &c.

O Wretched man that I am , what shall I doe ? for the great wilde beast hath deuoured my soule , and I haue bene made a praye to the enemie , he hath spoiled me of all those goods wherewith thou , O Lord , hadst beautified me , and I am afraide to appeare naked before thee : I departed rich and beautifull from thy Esai . 37. Ierem. 11 Osee . 5. face , and went wandring after filthinesse in a corrupt way , and in the wickednesse of my heart : and my soule is made blacke vpon the coales , and the excellent colour thereof is Thren. 4. changed , and I that was nourished with spices , haue imbraced dung , and I haue so impouerished and deformed my selfe by wearing the vile garments of sinners , according to the likenesse of Adams offence , as thou , O Lord doest not nowe knowe me , according to the image wherein thou hast created me : and wilt not suffer mee as a scabbed sheepe , to dwell among the sheepe of thy pasture . Howe then shal I presume to returne vnto the presence of thine infinite Maiestie , ( in whose sight Iob 15. the Heauens are not cleane ) being emptie , vile and vncleane ? or howe shall I presume to communicate with thy chosen people , being made foolish by offending . I would hauereturned vnto thee though ashamed and afraide , trusting to thy mercie : for thou art a sweete father to thy sonne that is trauailing into a farre countrey ; but much sweeter vnto him when he returneth from a long pilgrimage : But , O my God , I lacke the power to come vnto thee : for I am kept fast bound by a most cruell robber , not with strong iron , but with the iron of mine owne will , whereof the enemie hath made a chaine for me , and bringeth my heart in hard workes and all wicked Exod. 1. slauerie to bitternesse . My refuge Psal. 118 is farre from me : for saluation is farre from sinners , and I am compelled to die in most miserable bondage , vnlesse thou , O Lord , looking downe from Heauen , doest helpe me : I sticke fast in the slimie claie of the deepe , and a tempest of temptations , euen like the waves of the cruel sea , hath ouer whelmed and crowned me so that I am in despaire of auoiding these imminent dangers , vnlesse thou , O God , shalt take me vp : for the more I endeuour to arise , the more am I bruised : I am both within and without troublesome vnto my selfe , & euery where I finde domesticall enemies , that doe beate me downe : I looke on the right hand and the left , and I see none to whom I may safely commit my selfe : but euery where feare doeth shake me , and to whom so euer I come , I finde not a faithfull friend , & how should I finde any , that my selfe doe not keepe my faith giuen to my God ? I haue sought any to comfort me in my afflictions and calamities , and there was none of all my deare Thren. 1. friendes that woulde comfort me : but I met with men that were too full of wordes , nay dumbe rather , and therefore dumbe , because thy word , O my God , did not sound from their lips , but the offence of Psal. 58. their mouth , the wordes of their owne lips , who did condemne my wantes without compassion , and triumphing ouer me , did hardly and fiercely prouoke strife against me . I haue often consented vnto Prou. 18. foolish deceiuers , and swaruing from the right pathe , I ignorantly agreed to their opinion , and by little and little was by them brought to such toyes and madnes , as ( though by the helpe of thy grace , I neuer departed from the true religion ) yet I did beleeue many fables : yet am I an vnexcusable man , for that ( when I did knowe thee to be alwayes a God in trueth , I did not worship Rom. 1. thee in spirit and trueth : ) but changed thy trueth into lyes , and serued the creatures rather then the Creatour , and sought my selfe and my pleasures in corruptible things : but thou , O Lord , my sweetenesse , and my trust , proceede on , and as thou hast made me by true faith to acknowledge thee , waken mee vp that sleepe in Psal. 12. sinne , and open mine eyes , that I neuer sleepe vnto death : Lighten , kindle & lift them vp Psal. 83. vnto thee , that in thy light they may behold thee , the euerlasting light , the vnquencheable light , that neuer faileth , the Eccle. 24. sweete and delightfull light , that they may see and reioyce Sapi. 4. and couet thy light , and know Eccle. 11. Psal. 68. that nothing is to be loued beside thee , but in and for thee . Iohn 1. Thou , O Lord , which art the true light , that doest illuminate all men comming into this world : cause this light to rise in my darkenes , and make me to desire thy iustification , that my soule being melted away by the force of loue , may faint into thy sauing health , Psal. 188. and thirste after thy delightes : my soule , I say , but let me call it thine , because thou diddest make it , and giue it vnto me , and mine , because I receiued it from thee : keepe therefore thy creature , which thou hast specially framed according to thine owne image , and suffer not thy precious gifte to perish , wherein thou hast lifted me vp aboue all the workes of thine owne hands : vpon my body and members , worke whatsoeuer pleaseth thee , let my flesh be clothed with rottennesse , Iob 33. and consumed with wormes : But I beseech thee , O Lord , onely spare my soule , and stretch not out thy hand against it , bring me backe againe into thy wayes , before the going downe of the Sunne : for it groweth towarde Euening , and compell me to come vnto thee , if to call be too little , constraine me as it pleaseth thee : so I may come and not perish , not for my selfe , who hauing so often abused thy mercie , haue made my selfe vnworthy thereof : but for thy holy Name , take from me a stonie heart , and giue vnto Exec. 36. me a fleshy heart , and place thy Spirite in the middest of me , that I may walke in thy precepts , & keepe thy iudgements : I come too late vnto thee , O Lorde , I confesse , I would to God I had come sooner : but I knowe and am assured , that thou prescribest no time to them that come , so they come , and receiuest the last as gently as the first : for that although thou hatest Sapi. 1. sinne , thou hatest not the sinner , neither doest thou reioyce in his destruction : and therefore , though hee tarrie very long , thou doest patiently looke for him : O how sweete and pleasant is that thy saying , O Lord ? wherein thou hast giuen hope vnto my Psal. 118. Hiere. 3. soule ? Thou hast played the harlot with many louers , yet returne thou vnto me , & I wil receiue thee . How delightfull and pleasant is that worde , wherewith thou comfortest sinners that are in despaire of themselues ? If a sinner repent Ezec. 18. him from all his sinnes , he shall liue and not die : for is the death of a sinner according to my will ? With great ioy I heare thee when thou sayest , that the sheepe that Luke 15. had gone astray , shall be brought home with ioy vpon the shepheards shoulders , and S. Augu. that the groate shall be layed vp in thy treasures , neighbours reioycing with the woman that found it : and the ioy of the solemnitie of that house doeth force teares from me , when I did reade of the yonger sonne , that he was dead , and liued againe . Therefore Psal. 67. giue , O Lord , vnto my soule , the voyce of thy vertue , and not of thy vertue alone , which shaketh off the slouthe of soules , but also the beame of thy light , which doeth both shewe vnto men their sinnes , and giueth light also to the hidden places of darkenesse . Cant. 2. Let thy voyce sounde in the eares of mine heart , and say vnto my sleeping soule , why art thou so long oppressed with a deadly sleepe , and kept captiue in bandes ? It is nowe Rom. 13. Esai 55. Cant. 6. time to rise from sleepe , and that thou forsake thy waye , and returne to me that haue redeemed thee : returne , O Esai . 44. thou Sunamite , returne that we may behold thee : returne , and deferre no longer to come vnto me , for I am the Lorde thy God that call thee , I am , I am he , that blot out thine iniquities Esai . 43. for my selfe , neither carie in remembrance things past : then will I say boldly to my soule , turne thee to thy Psal. 144 rest , for the Lorde hath done well vnto thee : goe safely vnto him , and though thou art wearied by thy wicked wayes , goe the swifter , that thou maiest the sooner take rest : be not made afraid for thy sinnes , for if they be as redde as scarlet , Esai 1. & 44. they shal be made as white as snow , as a cloude they shall be put away , and feare not to be accused of boldnes , where thou art praysed for obedience . Goe and make haste my soule vnto him , that came not to call the righteous , but sinners , and Matth. 8. if thou art a sinner , thy God is the God of sinners . Wherefore then doest thou feare to goe , thou that art not called by a cruell iudge , but by the father of mercies , that thou mayest obtaine mercie : therefore goe now willing being called to mercie , that thou be not compelled hereafter to goe vnto iudgement . In thee , O Lorde , my noble Father doe I trust , and will not be ashamed to confesse vnto thee my deformities , S. August and blasphemies , who was not ashamed to professe them before men , and to barke against thee . Let the Marke 2. Pharise murmure & say , who can forgiue sinnes but God alone ? for it is God that speaketh vnto me , whose worde is liuely and effectuall , he that Psal. 76. calleth me is milde and pitiful , and is not wonted to containe his mercies in his wrath : And therefore vpon thy words will I assuredly come vnto thee , O my God , my trust , and my portion in the land of the liuing . I wil come and fall downe before thee , and not feare thy Maiestie , because thou callest me , and that I offende not thine eyes when I shall appeare vncleane in thy sight . I will wash away my filthinesse with continuall teares , and mine eye lidde shall not rest from weeping , but my bed shall be priuie vnto my sorrowe , wherein I please thee , though I displease my selfe : and being by thee conuerted vnto thee , I repent me of those things I haue committed , that I may praise thee with a cleane Psal. 88. heart , saying , O Lord , who is like vnto thee ? for then is thy Eccl. 15. Psal. 125. praise bountifull in the mouth of a sinner , and hee that hath sowed in teares , shall reape in gladnesse . Glory be to the Father , and to the Sonne , and to the holy Ghost . As it was in the beginning , &c.