A discourse of the married and single life Wherein, by discovering the misery of the one, is plainely declared the felicity of the other. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A20499 of text S116956 in the English Short Title Catalog (STC 6908). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 72 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 65 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2018 A20499 STC 6908 ESTC S116956 99852171 99852171 17480 2240947226

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 Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 2, no. A20499) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 17480) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1446:11) A discourse of the married and single life Wherein, by discovering the misery of the one, is plainely declared the felicity of the other. Jardin, Roland du. [14], 115, [1] p. Imprinted [by F. Kingston] for Ionas Man, London : 1621. Translated or adapted, at least in part, from R. Du Jardin's "Lettre du philosophe Lyndorach au roy Culteber"--STC. Printer's name from STC. Reproduction of the original in the Bodleian Library. eng Marriage -- Early works to 1800. Celibacy -- Early works to 1800. eebo A discourse of the married and single life. Wherein, by discovering the misery of the one, is plainely declared the felicity of the other. [no entry] 1621 130 13355 2 0 0 0 0 0 1.5 B The rate of 1.5 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the B category of texts with fewer than 10 defects per 10,000 words. 2009-05 Assigned for keying and markup 2009-06 Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2009-07 Sampled and proofread 2009-07 Text and markup reviewed and edited 2009-09 Batch review (QC) and XML conversion

A DISCOVERSE OF THE MARRIED AND SINGLE LIFE .

WHEREIN , BY DISCOVERING THE MISERY OF THE one , is plainely declared the felicity of the other .

Bona pudicitia coniugalis , sed melior continentia virginalis .

LONDON , Imprinted for Ionas Man .

1621.

The Preface to the Masculine Reader .

NEuer was there any thing so perfectly good , that by traducing tongues hath not been made to seeme euill , neither hath there any thing been so absolutely euill , that either by colourable speeches , or faire pretences may not be made to seeme good .

Some men apply themselues to reading onely , to procure matter of contradiction , that what others defend , they would disproue , and what by others is disallowed , shall by them be highly commended . But such as are wise , haue learned to suspend their iudgements in , concerning that which either pleaseth or displeaseth them , vntill they haue laid such infallible grounds , as may iustly cleere them from al suspition , either of folly for approuing that which in it selfe is knowne to be ill , or of maliciousnesse , for disprouing that , the goodnesse whereof . ( it is likely ) they neuer vnderstood . The Authors intent in this ensuing discourse , is not to breede in mens minds a dislike of that which in it selfe is good , both in respect of him that ordained it , as also the ends wherefore it was ordained , which are most good . But since his discourse is of Marriage , he is to be conceiued either as a detector of the miseries thereof , proceeding rather from the persons , then the thing it selfe , or as a director to the comforts thereof ; which chiefly consist in such qualities and dispositions , as are directly contrary to such as here be mentioned . As therefore we haue iust occasion to loue them that shew vs a good way , and direct vs in it : so are we not to despise them that by detecting vnto vs the euill way , teach vs to auoide it .

The differences that are betwixt the married and the single life , as there was neuer any man so wise as to know them all , so neuer as yet hath any man discouered them all , which makes it a poynt of great difficulty for a man to know which is the better , vntill hee haue tasted both ; and then shall he only learne , that the inferiors of the one doe only exceede the inconueniences of the other .

If we should take this Authors opinion , who will perhaps be iudged partiall , hauing neuer tried both , he doth certainly prefer the single before the double , and in so doing , will also giue vs some reason why he may be beleeued , because the actions of many of the best men haue witnessed the truth of that which he maintaineth ; and so much the rather also , because there are many reasons why that should be preferred before this , & but one only , why this should be preferred before that .

The temptations of the single life , are subiect to perswade a man to marry ; the incumbrances of the married life , to disswade a man therefrom . Let vs consider of that happinesse wherein man liued before be inioyed the company of a woman , and so behold that miserie wherein he is inwrapped since the time he partaked therein ; and it will be an argument sufficient to induce a man to approoue that , which in it selfe was good , rather than of that which in it selfe was the onely cause of the deprauation of that onely good . Let but a man consider the many qualities , wherewith he that will be married must bee burthened , and those few that will serue for the single life , and he shall be rather induced to chuse that whereunto nature of her selfe hath fitted him , one only being wanting , than desire that whereunto there is so much requisite , as it is not almost possible for a man to attaine in the whole course of his life . He that would liue without a wife , needs striue for no other qualitie , but Chastitie , all other will offer themselues ; he need only entertaine her . But he that will be married , must measure both his words and his actions according to the disposition of his wife ; he must both be diligent in looking to her , that her steps goe not awry , and he must be also carefull to looke to himselfe , lest he incurre the suspition of Ielousie .

The subiections , that hee must yeeld both to her and her kindred , if he be any thing imperious ( and so he will if he be not a naturall ) are most intolerable : the censures that hee must vndergoe , and the hard taxations that will be imposed vpon him , euen for his priuatest speeches , will , if he come to know them , make him wish he had neuer felt them .

Let a man also consider the qualities , wherewith women are indued , which for the most part are opposite to those of men : as , her wantonnesse , to his sobrietie ; her frowardnesse , to his meekenesse ; her stubbornnesse , to his patience ; her pride , to his humilitie ; her lightnesse , to his grauitie ; her disliking , to that which he approueth ; her coueting of which he denieth : wherein they iustly resemble the shadow of a mans body , which if a man pursue , it will runne from him ; if he goe away , it will follow him : this is all the comfort that a man in his choyce can haue , that perhaps it may be his fortune , inter malos , non habere pessima : amongst many that are euill , not to light of that which is worst of all : but as this Prouerbe is , that amongst blinde men , hee is counted happie that hath but one eye ; so in a world of miseries and inconueniences , he is not the worst , whose fortune it is , either to light of the fairest , or to beare the easiest . Many haue thought it impossible to know which is the worst qualitie of a woman ; some haue made it a great question , whether it were better for a man to marrie a shrew , or a sheepe , but hardly can it be resolued . If the former , then is shee Tyrannicall ; and the greatest cruelty , is the crueltie of a woman ; if the latter , then can she not be endured : for there is no burthen more grieuous than the folly of a woman . Let a man but weight the infidelity of women , and that in matters of greatest importance , and then let him iudge what secure trust can be reposed in them , by whom he shall vnder stand , not onely Townes and Citties , but also Kingdomes and Dominions haue been vtterly ruinated , either by their treacherous practices , or for the satisfying of their ambitious humours ; so that when there shall be nothing to restraine them , but the feare of the Husbands displeasure , which , when occasion is offered , is as likely to change the mischiefes of their intent , as the breath of a man to refell the fury of the winde ; or the shaking of a straw to daunt the heart of a Lyon ; I cannot see by what means he can auoide or escape destruction , that violently casteth himselfe vpon the edge of her ouer-sharpe patience .

Let a man but further consider the great dissiculty that consisteth in the bringing vp of Children , if he haue them ; the infinite discomfort , if he haue them not . For their bringing vp , we see by daily experience , that in their tender yeeres , they are either by too much lenity made to become dissolute , and effeminately prone to all manner of vice , seeing that indulgence is the onely bellowes to Kindle the sparke of a corrupt nature ; or else by ouer-much seuerity they are made vnapt and vncapeable of any thing that is good ; and so the expectation of the chiefest happinesse , is turned into the fruition of the greatest euill : and he that will diligently obserue , shall finde , that children haue by the badnesse of their mothers disposition , bin made the only instrument of their fathers discontentment : yea , and sometime the author of their destruction .

The husband is , by the very institution of marridge , ordained to be the head ; and the head was made to rule and gouerne the body . Now , the difficulty that is incident to this regiment , is such , and so great , that few men take pleasure in possessing it , none at all performe it in that manner they should ; the greatest wisdome that herein is required , consisteth in the counselling and discouery , as occasion serueth , of his passions , and in the right applying of his affections , according to the condition of his wiues humor . If he loue her too much , then will she condemne him : for plenty alwaies breeds lothsomnes . If he do not manifest his loue in that sort that she desireth or expecteth , then she presently imagineth , that he bestoweth it some-where else ; and so being possest of that Ielousie , there is no misery that will not follow of it . If he let her haue her will , souerainety is straight turned into Tyranny : If he abridge her , she then falls into a thousand inconueniences . If he be ready to obey her commandements , then will she be most importunate . If he deny her request , though it be neuer so vnreasonable , then is he presently iudged vnkinde and hard-hearted .

Many men ouer-venturous , will put their hands into the Hiues for hony ; but at the last they are stung with Waspes ; and no maruaile is it , where there are more Wasps than Bees . Yet the stings of a thousand Waspes do not so wound , as the tongue of one woman : for of the one there be many remedies ; the other remaineth alwaies incurable : for diseases that be mortall , men should be carefull to preuent , because there remaineth no hope to cure them : and such are they that are herein mentioned , namely , the diseases of marriage , the which when men study to cure , the remedy doth oft-times proue worse , and procure them more danger , then the euil it selfe was likely to haue done ; which as it is not vnknown to any that haue obserued the vsuall proceedings of the world , so haue they felt the smart thereof , whose fortune it hath been to partake therein . He therefore that would know the difference betwixt the married , and the single life , shall neither finde the one to be absolute good , nor the other to be altogether euill : but herein he shall see the difference chiefely to consist , that the inconueniences of the one may be remedied when a man wil , the miseries of the other remaine vncurable ; which as they are many , so it is not possible to recken them vp : some of them in this discourse are touched , the most remaine discouered , he that plungeth not into all , shall be sure to leape into some ; the benefit he shall get by reading of this , is , that though perhaps hee cannot bee forewarned by wisdome to preuent them , yet he may be forewarned with patience to endure them ; which is the onely drift which herein is aymed at .

A DISCOVERSE OF THE MARRIED AND SINGLE LIFE .
CHAP. I. A Letter of Lindorach the Philosopher , to Cultibert King of the Indians , concerning the inconuenience and discommodities of the married Life .

I Vnderstand that of the cooking , which I thought I neuer should haue vnderstood , for which cause I am inforced to write that vnto thee , which I neuer thought to haue written .

I heare , thou art about to purchase vnto thy selfe a wife , and the price that thou must giue , is thy liberty ; that of a King , thou wilt make thy selfe a Vassall ; of a Lord , a seruant ; and of a man of wit and vnderstanding , wilt shew thy selfe to bee voyd of both .

I vnderstand , thou bearest on thy head the crown of India : but looke vnto thy selfe , thou dost not beare another of patience , or to speake more properly , of folly , and perhaps one worse then both , that thou dost cause other men to frame and publish : the proceeding against malefactors , will now bring to thy house for thy daily expence , a Notary and Examiner , a dayly informer and publisher of the whole proceedings of thy life .

And to be briefe , that thou wilt bring a Queene ouer the Indians ; a mischiefe ouer thy mother , a Lady ouer thy seruants , a Tyrant ouer thy riches , and a madnesse ouer thine owne head .

The Indians reioyce at it , hoping , that thou with thy Mistris , shalt make a cruell station of them .

The wife which thou shalt take with her imperiousnesse , shall make a most cruell example of thee .

The people of Antia are sorrow full , fearing that whereas they are now gouerned of one that hath reason , they shall be then ruled by a man that is gouerned of a woman without reason ; thy mother lamenteth , for that in the day wherein the insolency of a daughter in law shall interre the duty of a naturall some .

Thy seruants are grieued , that wheras now their estate is miserable , in being seruants vnto a mistris , they shal be then most miserable , in being seruants to a seruant .

Thy riches seeme to complaine : for that thy treasury and thy store , which ought to be imployed in the honorable reward of seruants , and especially of souldiers , is turned into wantonnesse , into Iewels , into Chaines , into Rings , into Bracelets , into Girdles , into Frontlets , and other such like things that tend to the adorning of the Wife , and vndoing of the Husband .

Thou onely in so great misery , glad and merry , goest laughing to the place of Iustice , and singing , when thou art at the Tribunall of that sentence that toucheth thy selfe .

The seruants alwaies goe with a slow pace to the Inchantor .

The Colt is carried vnwillingly to the bridle . The Bullock is brought by force to the yoke . The thiefe is drawne by violence to the stocks , and so to the halter .

Yet thou runnest violently , and ioyfully to thy Inchanter , to thy bridle , to thy yoke , to thy stocks , and to thy halter .

O man , thou deseruest double pitty and compassion . First , because thou art miserable : secondly , because thou art blind , and dost not see thy misery . Thou and I doe both of vs offend , through folly thou , because by marrying , thou perswadest thy selfe to find contentation in thy minde by thy wife : And I , in thinking by writing vnto thee , to finde fidelity , and present change in thee .

As for my folly , it is much lesse then thine , for that I attempt a thing , howsoeuer not easie , yet at the least possible ; and thou hopest for that which both is hard , and also impossible euer to be done .

The letter which I write vnto thee , I know thou wilt reade it laughing : but whensoeuer thou readest it , know that I haue writ it sorrowing .

And know further , that thou wilt not laugh so much at my letter , as others here after will laugh at thy harme .

Now if thou shalt despise my counsell , yet grant at the least my request , that though perhaps thou maist cast away my words , yet keepe this my letter by thee , and after a little time that thou hast beene with thy Spouse , turne her to reade it ; and if in reading of it , she doe not lift her face vp to heauen ; if she do not turne vp the white of her eye ; if she do not strike her nailes vpon her teeth ; if she doe not beate thee vpon thy cheekes ; if she doe not ruffle and disorder thy beard ; if shee doe not smite thee vpon thy brest : Then am I no Philosopher , then am I no man , then is thy wife no woman .

For that beleeue me , if thou wilt belieue the truth , that to marry , and to repent , are as neere alike one to the other , as to day & to morrow ; so that if thou meanest to marry to day , thou shalt be sure to repent to morrow .

CHAP. II. A Letter of Lindorach , wherein is declared the conditions of many married folkes , chiefly of the manners & conditions of Wiues .

HArd and opposite , euen as Scilla and Charibais , are the show of diuers conditions , the which it is necessary that from time to time I doe propound them vnto thee , that thereby thou maiest see , wherevnto wiues of necessity do often slide , and with them draw their husbands vnto danger .

The wife which thou hast to take , but I mistake my selfe , and will returne , the wife of whom thou art to be taken , shee must for her being , either be faire or foule .

If shee be faire , shee will then be adorned , if foule , she will deserue to be reiected : if shee be faire , shee shal be loued of many ; if foule , she shal be abhorred of all .

For a man to keepe that to himself , which is beloued of many , is hard to possesse 〈◊〉 that which is abhorred of all , is noysome .

If she be faire , many will enuy thee .

If foule , all men will pitty thee : and whoso is enuied or pittied , is alike vnfortunate .

If she be faire , shee wil be proud : for pride accompanieth beauty , euen as the shadow doth the body .

If she be foule , then will shee bee iealous : for if shee haue any wit , she may in her glasse espy her want of beauty , and knowing thee not to be blinde , she will soone imagine that thou seekest other company , and by this perswasion will perhaps procure some also for her selfe .

If she be faire , then will she neuer consent that the law is fulfilled , which saith , Thou shalt not couet thy neighbours wife .

If she be foule , she wil not desire to haue that precept fulfiled which saith , Thou shalt leaue father and mother , and follow thy wife .

If she be faire , she can neuer goe abroade , but shee shal be like the marke in a But , where at the minds and eyes of all men doe shoote and ayme ; or as an Owle set vpon a Pearch , about whom all other birds doe flye and wonder .

If she be foule , she is like the Snake or Adder that a man no sooner sees , but presently turnes away his eyes from beholding it .

If she be faire , and be at meetings and gossippings , she can neuer be named , but as the praier which is made vnto the Sunne , which being long , and conuenient that it should be pronounced with one breath , sighed , as it is said .

If she be foule , then is she like the drawling disease , at the very naming whereof , cuery man by nature is moued in Spirit .

If she be faire , all thy busmesse abroad is sure to goe to wracke : for her bewitching and attracting beauty will inforce thee to stay within dores .

If she be foule , thy busines at home will go worse : for that by reason of her noysomnesse , thou wilt haue but little list to bee at home .

What then shall I say more concerning those loue qualities ?

If she be faire , it will giue cause to the world to thinke her dishonest ; for that beauty and chastitie seldome dwell vnder one and the same roofe .

If she be foule , the world shall haue occasion to iudge thee blind , and a religious obseruer of the Feast of Venus , the faire will make thee doubt of keeping thine owne , with losse of labour and infamy .

The foule will cause thee to seeke other mens , with danger of life , honour and foule .

If she be faire , thy house shall then bee a Stage , the people Spectators , and thy wile the Actor of a Comedy .

If she be foule thy house wil be hell , thy wife the diuell , and thy selfe the miserable foule tormented .

If thy wife which thou wilt take , be yong , shee will alway be importunate for her better attyring .

If old , her neuer-leauing to counsell thee , wil be intolerable .

If she be yong , thy heart wil be alwaies pricked with feare of infamy .

If old , thy thoughts will bee alwaies troubled with her inequality of yeeres .

If yong , shee knowes not how to gouerne thy house .

If she be old , she will neuer be able , the one wil not haue wit to gouerne , nor the other strength to beare children .

If shee be poore , then looke to haue with her vnhappinesse .

If rich , then expect pride .

If she be poore , prepare then to consume thy patrimony , perhaps before thy matrimony .

If rich , bee ready to bee her slaue , not her companion , and thinke thy selfe to bee made of her feete , not that shee was made of thy rib .

But let not any thing that I tell thee of marriage , seeme strange ; for I write it not so much as a matter belonging to thee and thy equals , but rather to men of another degree and condition . And to returne to what I said .

If that thy wife bee meane , then shall shee be despised .

If shee be noble , then will she be disdainefull .

If thou takest one that wanteth friends , then shalt thou not be esteemed : if she hath many friends , it is not possible for thee to tame her .

If thou takest her of a better degree then thy self , her brethren will not bee thy kinsmen , but thy masters ; her father will not be thy father in law , but thy Lord .

If thou takest her of a lower degree , then must thou be protector ouer her friends , so that whereas the one sort will alwaies bee imperiously commanding of thee , the other sort will neuer leaue needy intreating of thee .

If perhaps honest , she will expect , that for hauing that vertue , thou shouldest beare with her in all other vicos .

If dishonest , I omit what to say : then come all miseries . Dores and windows must be shut , eies and cares must be open . Then euery thing is diligently looked into , euery thing is harkned carefully after and obserued , all her doings being feared : then would there be putting chaines to her hands , making lawes for her feete , and restraint for her eies : then is there strict account kept of her paces , of motions , of her gestures , of the signes she maketh , of her writings , of her speeches , yea euen of the turning of her eies . If thou makest the suspition known , how art thou pointed at , as an infamous man ? if thou keepest it secret , thou art condemned as an ignorant person . And if she be dishonest & shamelesse , she will publish her owne shame : If thou sufferest her to liue so , by that meanes she becommeth worse : for she who once loseth her honor , there is as much hope of amendment , as there is of wooll that once was died blacke , euer to become white againe .

If thy wife be a widdow , shee will alwaies be either praising or praying for her first husband .

If a maide , she is then vnacquainted with thy conditions , and vnexpert in wiues duty and businesse .

If simple , then must thou bee beholding to thy neighbours to gouerne thy house .

If witty , then her husband must euen commend himselfe to God , the simplicitie of the one suffreth houshold matters to go vp and downe . The wittines of the other , will almost make the husband distract of his little wit .

If barren , the husband liues then in great discontent , esteeming himselfe to be in hatred with God and nature , in being denied that comfort , for which chiefly he married : And not giuing him the fruite of that blessing , the want whereof maketh him reproachfull , whereby he shameth to accompany with men , as seeming himselfe to be lesse then a man . And seeing other mens children , hee grecueth , and wisheth , that the worst of them were his , and so seeketh carefully to adopt some other mans child .

If thy wife he fruitfull , so that she hath many children that increase much , both the charge in bringing of them vp , and thy trouble in looking to them , should make busmes for thy selfe ; thou must then prouide dainty meates , rich apparell , and other strange delights , diligent Nurses , worshipfull Gossips , and learned Schoolemasters : thou must satisfie her fantasticall desires , in her time of being with child , and her troublesome frowardnesse , night-cries of children , and the importunate demands of Nurses , and oftentimes the negligence of Seruants , losing more then the diligence of the master can gaine .

If thy children be good , and it fortune that they die , that greeueth thee much .

If they proue ill , and liue , that greeueth thee more .

If they be good and die , the father must comfort himselfe and the mother , from the fatherly sorrow of such mishaps as are befalne to them , then shall the father know that all his passed ioyes giue place to those piercing sorrowes .

If the children being good , doe liue , then the father greeueth he cannot bring them vp according to his desire , or their desert , also hee greeueth that hee hath not so many possessions as sonnes .

If they liue and proue euill , the father lamenteth that euer hee had begot them , and sighes that euer he married .

If hee chance to haue daughters , he can neither chuse , nor so gouerne them , but that they wil be beloued , sued vnto , and followed .

If they be faire , it is hard to keepe them ; if they be foule , it is hard to bestow them .

If they be noble , it behoueth the father to seeke husbands of like degree .

If they want their dowry or honour , the father hath then all the care , to him onely remaineth trouble and trauaile .

If the daughters marry against the will of their fathers , the father is dishonoured .

If they stay and marry with their fathers consent , he then resteth in bonds ; and when he hopeth to be quit of trouble , hee then falles into great troubles by them or their children , &c. he must supply all their wants : the daughters are alwaies complayning , and sometimes returne to the father . The sonnes bring their wiues to the father , and which is more intolerable , the grand-child hopeth to be made heire .

If the wife be sharpe and hasty , thou imaginest shee loueth others besides thee .

If shee fawne vpon thee , then thou maist well perswade thy selfe , that either formerly shee hath deceiued thee , or now intendeth to deceiue thee .

If shee be merry , thou thinkest it is , because shee hath receiued some good newes from her Louers .

If she be sad , thou thinkest , some new loue tormenteth her .

If shee be good , thou fearest she will die before thee .

If shee be ill , thou desirest her death euery day .

If she be brauely apparelled , then art thou iealous .

If she be carelesly apparelled , then art thou offended .

If thou apparellest her gallantly , thou makest her to be the more gazed at .

If thou keepest her meanly , she disdaineth it : for the one , thy neighbours and friends will accuse thee of too much softnesse , and for the other , they wil condemne thee for very couetousnesse .

If shee conuerse with men , thou fearest they be adulterers .

If with women , thou imaginest they be Bawdes .

If she conuerse with her kinred , thou suspectest thy goods .

If with strangers , then art thou iealous of thine honour .

If thou leauest her without a watch , thou art perswaded that shee seekes by meanes of opportunitie , which maketh thecues whðilde ; it is offered them .

If thou beest watchfull ouer her thy selfe , she shall be constrained to erre , for want of necessaries , which thou ( perhaps ) deniest her . For it is the nature of women , to be quieted with abundance , wheras they are discontented with scarcity .

If thou settest others to watch her , then they themselues doe that which they prohibit others , for which , there must bee others to watch also ouer them ; but howsoeuer , thy wife is either honest , or else shee is dishonest .

If honest , she ought not to be guided : if dishonest , shee cannot be guided enough .

If thou giuest her the gouernment of thy whole house , thou must then serue her at command .

If thou reseruest any part thereof to thy selfe , shee then complaineth of the little trust thou reposest in her .

If thou makest her gouernour of all , thou maist not doe any thing , thou canst not be in any place , thou canst not inuite any friend , thou canst not giue any thing , but she knoweth of it , & must first giue thee leaue : nay , often-times therein shee breakes with thee , and so causeth that thou canst not be so good as thy word , constraining to haue saw , for that wherin thou art not faulty .

If thou giuest her a limited gouernment , either she will not accept it , or else she will not execute it , finding her selfe discontent , seeing that there is no difference made betwixt her and thy seruants .

If shee praise any , thou fearest that she loueth him whom she praiseth .

If she blameth any , thou thinkest she dissembles ; for that it often happens that wit in women blames most those whom they best loue .

If she can write and read , shee then writeth vnto her Louers , and receiueth lettets from them also .

If shee can neither read nor write , shee causeth others to read and write for her ; and when thou art from home , and doest but write to her , others must see what thou writest .

If shee can read printed Bookes , in reading , shee mingleth that of the Serpent , with that of the Scorpion .

If shee cannot read , then being idle , she hath many euill thoughts , which produce and grow to euill actions .

If she be slow of speech , then thou remembrest , that where the stream is slowest , the water is deepest .

If shee commands one seruant more than another , then thou fearest that shee loueth him whose businesse best contenteth her , and whom also shee commandeth not , thou perswadest thy selfe that shee loueth him also , for that , in not commanding him some labour .

If shee ouer liue thee , thou dyest with doubt of honour .

If thou ouer-liuest her , thou remaynest with the troubles of thy house ; then must thou bethink thy self , in burying of thy old wife , how to get thee a new .

If thou hast Children , thou carest how to gouern them .

If thou hast none , thou must restore halfe of thy wiues dowry .

If thou marriest a new wife that hath children , then thine owne will go to wracke , and perhaps neither of them both will thriue .

If she be a widow , and hath no children , thou shalt be in doubt also not to haue the benefit of marriage .

If thou giuest her too much liberty , then thou spoylest her .

If thou giuest her too little , then wil she be angry .

If thou sufferest her to beautifie her selfe , the world will say thou art too holy , meaning too horney .

If she would doe it , and thou dost contradict it , then wilt thou seeme too rigorous .

If thou dwellest in the towne , thy children are brought vp without manners or vertue .

If in the City , thy wiues louers will alwaies be solliciting her either by letters or messengers , and when thou art at home , she will alwaies be quarrelling , and when thou art abroade , thou shalt neuer be free of suspition .

If thou lettest her bee seene , either abroade or within dores , then beware the horne .

If thou keepest her close vp , then neuer looke to be at rest .

If thou leauest her alone when thou goest abroad , thou dost very ill ; for though perhaps shee may not offend , yet yong womens fame is for the most part slippery .

If for company sake thou dost couple her with a young woman , they two wil be sure to agree in committing euill , to pardon one the other .

If thou leauest an old woman with her , then thou feedest a Bawd .

If a man of lowe condition loue her , thou canst not perceiue it .

If a Noble man loue her , then must thou be content to heare and see , but in any case be silent .

If she be beloued , and doe not manifest it vnto thee , thou hast reason to be iealous .

If she do make it knowne to thee , it is either because shee feares that thou hast knowledge of it already , or else she tells thee , to indanger thee some way , or else she doth but draw the hooke with the one hand , to put it to againe with the other ; or at least she doth it , thinking thereby to obtaine thy greater trust , that so with more security she may after deceyue thee .

If she loue thee not , thou eatest and sleepest with an enemy .

If she seeme to loue thee , thou eatest and drinkest , and sleepest with a spie .

If she loue thee not , art thou not alwaies sorrowfull ?

If she breedeth child , then hast thou trauell .

If she beare it , thou hast more :

If she be sicke , thou art amazed .

If she so dies , thou art much perplexed .

If thou marriest a wife agast her parents will , then is it likely thou shall lose her dowry , and therewith gettest many enemies .

If thou takest he against the will of thine owne friends , thou art in danger to lose thine owne inheritance , and gettest hatred for her .

If she be forced to take thee then is there no peace .

If thou beest forced to take her , there is alwaies strife .

If thou marriest her for loue onely , then after the first affection is extinguished , and her prime of beauty past , her loue changeth to hatred , and loue was made onely for marriages , but it is like flowers which the Sunne quickly withereth .

If thou takest one of another mans choosing , it behooueth thee to look that her dowry bee qualified , whereby thou mayst afterwards liue so , that thou be not iealous of her , nor discerne that others bee iealous of thee .

If thy parents compell thee to marry her , then hast thou no ioy , and reuengest anger vpon thy wife .

If her friends force her to take thee , she liueth alwayes sorrowfull , and reuengeth her selfe vpon thee : and what ioy or peace can be expected in that house , where one of the Principalls is alwaies discontented : there neuer hapneth one earthquake , but it maketh the buildings beate together . Where the Ocean is troubled , all lesse springs must needs partake ; when the Sunne is eclipsed , all the seuen Elements suffer ; and when the head akes , all the other members languish .

If the mother and kindred of thy wife which thou wilt take , were chast , thou then fearest , remembring that nothing vnder the Sun continueth stable , as Seeds & Vines alter with time , and all things grow worse with age , and how Vertue is altered with Vice , and Vice with Vertue .

If they were dishonest , thou knowest that a Heifer bringeth not forth a Fawn ; and when thou seest an alteration , thou knowest that euery one is more prone to euill then good .

If her father were a foole , thou thinkest shee must be like her father .

If wise , thou knowest that wise fathers haue oftentimes foolish children . And the reason is , that when they beget them , their wise mindes are oftentimes besotted of foolish matters .

If before shee was married to thee , she had other Loues , thou hast cause to feare , left they they continue so to her still .

If shee knew not how to loue before shee was married , thou fearest that shee doth it neither now effectually .

If in her maydenhead she had thee onely a suter , and was then vnkinde vnto thee , that will often cause hatred betweene you euen till death .

If she then graunted thy request being vnmarried , thou maist iustly feare , she will doe as much for others when as she is married .

If thou fulfillest all her desires , thou makest her vnbridled and licentious .

If thou doest not fulfill them , shee will then be alwayes melancholy and wrathfull .

If thou dost then reproue her , she sinnes of custome .

If thou threatnest her , she calls her friends to witnesse .

If thou entreatest her , she laughes thee to scorne among thy neighbours .

If thou correctest her , she will neuer be pleased .

If thou forgiuest her she will be intolerable .

If thou dost not clothe her honorably , thou leauest her honor in great hazard .

If when thou goest to bed , thou findest her cold , thou fearest lest shee hath bin far from her owne bed .

If thou feelest her hot , thou imaginest shee hath beene about some other mans businesse .

If she haue beene thy fellow Citizen , then will shee be much familiar with you . If she was a stranger , thðilde ; hast thou not knowne her life .

If thou hast loued her , know , that after faire weather , comes raine , and after loue , hatred .

If thou hast not loued her , then hast thou no pleasure with her .

If thou doest reueale any secrets vnto her , she discloseth them .

If thou keepest them from her , then shee complaineth that thou trustest her not .

If thou dost not adorne and decke her vp , she will neuer care for thee .

If thou doest adorne her , then wil she please others as well as thee ; and if she desire to please thee only , she would not then beautifie her selfe in that morning when she is to goe abroad : but rather in the euening when she is to come vnto thy bed .

CHAP. III. Wherein is discoursed of other conditions of many folkes .

COncerning the estate and conditions of the married life , what shall I say more ?

If thou art poore , hauing a wife , and beholding thy children , thou art consumed euen with care of enriching thy selfe .

If thou art rich , then art thou troubled with care of keeping of them , as also tormented with feare of losing them , for that as before I said , I doe not so much speake vnto thee that art a King , as to other men that are not of the honour , but of that humour that thou art in againe .

If thou beest poore , thou learnest least .

If either pouerty , or the prouocation of all euill , or riches , the corrupters of chaste mindes , doe oppugne , and in time cleaue , wish away the honesty of thy wife .

If thou beest rich , thouart much afraid , lest wanton ease and delicate lasciuiousnesse afford too many imaginations to the hurt of thy Spouse .

If thou liuest alone , then thou liuest contrary to the custome of all humanity .

If thou hast much acquaintance , thou art then suspected of much deceit .

If thou hast no friends , thou wantest then the chiefest good that is in the world .

If thou hast many friends , thou pleasest not thy wife , for that she couets alwayes to haue all thy loue bestowed on her .

If thou beest married to a yong woman , she is ouer-quicke and hasty .

If to an old wife , she is ouer-slow : and herein a yong wife vnsinnewes the body of his chiefe strength , wasteth and consumeth thy pleasant age , brings for thee children of little value and account , and an old wife becommeth iealous , thou art called foole , hauing wealth , and wanting posterity to inherite it .

If thou beest studious , thou canst not intend thy booke and thy wife too .

If the study of hunting , and of Armes doe delight thee , either the one , or the other displeaseth thy wife , and breeds contrariety in thy matrimony .

If thou beest a Tradesman , and intending thy businesse and affaires , thou canst haue but little care of thy wife .

If thou beest a Gentleman , a Citty set on a hill cannot be hid . What then wilt thou doe in such a necessity ? Hence the Hammer , thence the Anuill ; here the dore , there the wall ; whatsoeuer thou willest , vexation and trouble is on all sides ; to one of those extremities thou art forced . That which the husband oftentimes desireth , that , for the most part , the wife contemneth .

But if thou shalt say vnto me , that I carry things too much one way , and too little another way , and that thou wilt bee aduised to finde the golden way , betwixt so great excesse ; I answere thee , that if thou canst possibly finde a wife , that is neither faire , nor foule ; neither rich , nor poore ; neither base , nor noble ; neither foolish , nor witty ; neither , honest , nor dishonest ; neither barren nor fruitfull ; and as I haue discoursed , through all the proposed conditions : and on the contrary , if there can a husband be found , that is neither rich , nor poore , neither old , nor yong ; neither base , nor noble ; neither foolish , nor witty ; neither honest , nor dishonest , nor in any of those extremes which I haue before touched ; then will I content my selfe that thou beest married .

But where are they , that we may seeke them ? when shall they come , that wee may behold them ?

CHAP. IIII. Concerning some other miseries incident to the married life .

OWretched man , if thou dist but know how deare it did cost thee to be married , that in the very day in which thou art to bee betrothed vnto a wife , thou makest thy selfe more ready to be intombed in thy graue .

A wife , ah a wife ! alasse , ther 's not one member , that will not cost the weight in gold . Her haire is valued at as much as the Pearles , the Imbroderings , the Aglets and Roses , with which shee adorneth her selfe .

Her forehead , as the Frontlets which she weareth therevpon .

Her Eares , as the Pendants that hang thereat .

Her eyelids and her breath , as the odours and sweete perfumes which she imployeth therein .

Her Cheekes , as the painting both of white and red which she consumeth .

Her lips , as with the soft furres wherewith she ouershadoweth them .

Her mouth , as the dainty meates which shee ministreth vnto it .

Her Necke , as the Currals and Amber , the chaines and other wanton toyes that she hangeth about it .

Her brests , as the precious stones wherewith she inuironeth them .

Her shoulders , as the vayles and Cypres wherewith she is couered .

Her armes , as the bracelets which she weareth .

Her hands , as the sweet waters , precious oyntments , perfumed Gloues , and gallant Fannes wherewith she adorneth her self .

Her fingers , as the Iewels and Rings , wherewith she couereth them .

Her sides , as the Girdle wherewith she imbraceth her selfe .

Her feete , as the shooes which shee spendeth vpon them .

Finally her whole body , as the Garments wherewith she is clothed , which euery day she changeth and rechangeth , yet being vnsatiable , is neuer pleased nor contented .

Her eies being such , as no sooner seeing such hangings , such ornaments , but straight shee coueteth them .

Her tongue so impudent , that shee no sooner seeth them , but presently demandeth them .

Shee will be alwayes demanding of apparell , and must alwayes haue Chests full .

Shee careth little though her children goe as naked as the Trees in December , though her house bee as much noted as that of the Fencers : So that for getting her apparell , her husband becomes a begger , and they are faine in the end to betake themselues to an Hospitall .

In the day , the husband must labour abroad , and in the night at home , strife & contention is in his bed ; trouble and sorrow at his Table ; when hee thinketh to eate , then is he compelled to brawle ; and when hee thinketh to sleepe , hee must hearken to her reuilings .

O wretched man that intendest to marry a woman ! thou must goe vnto the eyes of Argus , to keep her ; the eares of Faues , to hearken after her ; the nosethrils of a Wolfe , that thou maist smel out her defects : The tongue of a Fish , that thou be silent at her brawlings : The stomake of an Estridge , to disgest her reproches : The necke of a Bull , to support the heauy yoke : The Crowne of Pan wouen with thornes , to couer thy horne : The feete of a Hart to runne from her snares : The riches of Crassus , or rather of Croesus , to satisfie her : The lust of a Spaniard to content her : The strength of a horse to endure her : The drowsinesse of a Slow-worme , to sleepe amidst her chidings : The hunger of Eriseton , to deuoure her clamours .

Wee mortall men commit all things to the trust of other men ; but it is wel , so long as we commit them to the trust of men : As our fields to the Husbandmen : our Heards to the Pastors : our Gardens to the Gardiners : our house to our men-seruants : our chambers to our Maid-seruants : our secrets to our friends : our writings to the Notaries : out Robes to the Aduocates : our Merchandizes to the Mariners : our sons to their Tutors : our daughters to their friends : our heads to the Barbers : our liues to the Phisicians : But our honour , which is more precious then all these , we commit into the hands of a silly woman , in such sort , as we must neuer againe demand it , neuer can release it , nor neuer can be sure of it .

Thou canst not be called a Blasphemer , if thou didst neuer curse ; nor a periured companion , if thou didst not sweare , in that which is false , nor a despiser , if thou didst not contemne the gods ; nor an homicide , if thou neuer committedst murther ; nor a thiefe , if thou didst neuer steale ; nor a coozener , if thou didst neuer deceiue ; nor a trecherous person , if thou didst neuer deale falsly with thy friends ; nor an adulterer , if by no meanes thou didst neuer attempt another mans wife ; neither can any of these faults bee imputed vnto thee , if thou didst neuer offend , nor desire to commit them . But thou maist be iniuried by a greater matter then all these , if ( though without thy will , or without thy fault ) another man goeth with desire to thy wife .

O wretched man , it is a wonder to see , what danger thou art come in : All other things are seene and considered on , before they are bought : A house , if it be to be bought , is marked and obserued : the Instruments are heard ; the Melons are smelled vnto ; the wine is tasted of ; the cloth is felt ; the timber is fitted ; the glasses are touched , to see if they be found on all fides ; the Lute is chosen ; the strings are stretched ; the wood is measured ; the shooes are pulled on ; the Horse is backed ; the Cow is chosen out : and to bee briefe , all things are proued , when we buy them to gaine by them . But if in our marriage the bargaine be once concluded , then art thou married to the Sunne , thou canstineuer refuse , whilst thou liuest , but must remaine with thy wife euen vntill death : she is taken blind-fold , as men vse to play at blinde ; as the Cat , or rather the Cat in the sacke , she is not proued , lest she should be refused vpon the triall : neither is shee seene , for that if shee were , she would sooner be refused then accepted .

Whoso will buy flesh , they may goe to the Shambles , and pay for it : and if they will haue fish , they may haue it in the Fish-market .

And she that will be married , let her pay her husband first for taking of her .

It is maruaile if shee should stand , and be fresh & new .

It is strange that her friends should haue such desire to hunt her out of the house , and that she is so willing oftentimes , to returne againe . Looke how much the greater thy bargaine seemes to be , so much the worse is the flesh , and looke by how much the richer thy wife is in dowry , so much the poorer is shee in vertue .

If thy Garments do not fit thee well , thou mayst cause them to be made againe .

If thou hast a Ring , that is either too great or too little for thee , thou mayst cause it to be new cast .

If the money thou hast , like thee not , thou mayst change it .

If one house like thee not , thou mayst remoue to another .

If thy field please thee not , thou canst sell it away .

If a seruant be not for thy purpose , thou mayst dismisse him .

If thou hast a sister that is offensiue vnto thee , thou mayst marry her to a husband .

But thy wife , howsoeuer she come vnto thee , thou must of necessity keepe her vntill her death .

If her friends would bid thee marry her for a touch , as when we buy Capons : O , for a taste , as we vse to buy Millions : Or for a proofe , as we vse to buy Shooes : Or for a time , as we vse to buy our Cattell : Or for so long as she shall remaine good , as we vse to buy horses : Or vntill wee might change her as we doe our money .

Then would I counsell thee to take her , and to proue her : if she like thee , to hold her : if not , refuse her , and all she brought , euen as thou wert married to her .

But the law is ouer-strict , and for this cause is it ouer-strict , for that if the second day thou shouldest refuse her , and all thou hadst with her , then no woman will euer care for thee againe .

Thy friends will neuer more speake for thee : thy enemies will begin to reioyce at thee : thy parents wil be sorry for thee : thy daughters will diminish thy substance : thy house will increase thy trauell : the honour of thy family will begin to die : thy wife will begin to shorten thy life : thy sonnes will begin to desire thy death : thy dowry will not serue to begin another contract .

Thy wife can bee no more assured to thee , for that shee belongs to another man .

Thy Children may bee taken from thee , because they are not thine owne .

What a foole shall he be accounted , that buyeth a house , to the doore whereof euery man hath a key ?

Is not he such a foole , that taketh a wife ?

Is there not any man in the world , that keepeth a key for the honesty of any woman ?

There are foure things that deceiue a man out of his owne house , smoke , fire , a rotten roofe , and a churlish wife .

The smoke is remedied , by putting out the fire .

The fire is quenched , by casting on water .

The roofe is amended , by laying on new Tyles .

But for the frowardnes of a wife , there is no remedy can be found ; that is intolerable for euer .

But I end , lest that thou thinke I make a history .

CHAP. V. Wherein is recollected diuers examples of Women , that haue murdred their husbands .

FOr the proofe , and example , and confirmations of this , there shall be brought the examples of things not onely past , but also to come ; for that the Stars , in contemplating vpon which , I am wont to spend many a faire night , do prognosticate vnto me a thousand grieuous euents to happen , and amongst others , great plenty of such as these to happen , which makes so infinit a number of husbands to go to their wiues sorrowing .

Agamemnon was slaine by his wife Clitemnestra ; the sonnes of Aegistus , of the daughters of Danaus : and so it hapned to the husbands of the sisters of Albina : Alexander Fereus , of his owne wife ; Albinus of Rosamond ; Antioch of Laodicea : so it hapned in like manner to Antonius , being murdred of Lucilla , Gandulph also of his owne wife , Saleotus of his spouse , Ninus Fabius of Fabia , Tybertus Caesar of Agrippina , and a thousand more , which to collect would be too long : The greater of those either had beene , or after should haue beene kings .

CHAP. VI. Wherein is shewne how hard and difficult a thing it is , to keepe the honesty of a woman .

DOst thou not imagine , that with thy gates shut , thy windowes locked , thy eares open , thy eies watching , a thousand keies , neuer so many chaines , vigilant friends , infinite guards do keep the modesty of thy wife , when she is in her conceite ? choose thee the contrary , shut her in the highest and strongest Tower , that she cannot get out to talke with her louers , by which meanes the wife of old Fuldericus kept her faith , being in amored of faire Ordancus .

Commit her to thy Parents , and she is not safe in their custody , which is made plaine in A. B. that was inamored of her owne Brother .

Commit her to her owne friends either , she is as ill , as the example of Francis , Queene of Armenia .

Neither is there any safety in committing her to thy Nephewes ; for so Tractanus fell in loue with Hilippia .

Neither is she in safety in being commited to thy sonnes in law : for we know , Phoedra did not spare to sport with Hyppolita .

Neither is she secure in being committed vnto thy friends : for so Gabrina could not content her selfe to make one kill her husband , but afterwards fell in loue with the murtherer .

If she be not chaste , why did shee not at the first accord with thee , to place another in her stead , as Elippo did to Marisso ?

If she once telleth thee all her loue , then know , she goeth about to betray thee , and so to gaine opportunity of gayning him .

So did Edatrice , the wife of Eganus : and if she with him deceiue thee , she will yet perswade thee , that it is some other woman , as Izabel did to her husband Agnutius .

Count her thy Godren : and if any man tell thee that her loue is within thy house she will make thee beleeue that it is but a false report ; for so did the wife of John Latharinus .

If thou settest a watch for her at thy gates , she will make shift to bring in her Louer at the roofe of the house , as did the wife of Galosus . Nay though she hath sometimes two louers in the house , yet wil she make thee beleeue , that which she knoweth , shal be sure to make most for her purpose . At one time she will haue Leanettus , at another time , Lambertius .

If thou beest minded to shut her out of doores , shee will preuent thee , and shut thee out first : for so did the wife of Latonus .

Thought thou dwellest with her in the house , and dost listen after her , and talke with her , yet at the very same time , also will she sport with her louers , as did Poronella , who hauing placed her husband in the Barke , whiles she sayled along the shore , made the horns to shew on his head .

Yea though thou shouldest see it , and behold it with thine eyes , yet will she make thee conceale it with thine owne eyes , and compell thee to say , thou sawest not that which thou didst see .

Such is the wonderfull audaciousnesse of women , as we see Lidia dealt with Nichostratus . To be briefe , when thou sleep'st , though she lye on the selfe-same Bed with thee , though thou shouldest take another man with thee , to watch her , yet shee , in the middest of you both , will admit a hyred company , and so deceyue and defraud you both ; for so was Faustus and Fecundus betrayed of the harlot Fiometta .

What then wilt thou do ? in what brazen Tower wilt thou shut her ? with what chaines wilt thou bind her ? vnder what locks and keyes wilt thou keepe her ? what Champions wilt thou haue to guard her ? into whose custody wilt thou commit her ? for though her husband had as many eyes , as haires , yet will his wife deceiue him . When it shall therfore happen that thou art minded to marry , thou must pray to God to send thee a good wife , and to take from her all opportunities of offending .

CHAP. VII . Wherin are touched diuers customes vsed at Marriages .

AT the First touching with the hand , it is a custome with many , to buy their wiues with a Ring , that by compassing her finger with a Ring with a precious stone , or with gold , shee thereby circumuents her heart with a desire of gold , of Iemmes and Iewels .

When the Marriage is solemnized , there are none admitted to be present , except the parents , to preuent that the wife may not in one day become both a wife and a Louer .

The husband and the wife are both couered with one vaile , to giue her to vnderstand , that shee must conceale her affections from all , except her husband .

At the solemnity of the Marriage , is brought in fire and water , and presented to the husband , to shew therein , that to what end soeuer he turneth himselfe , he is in danger either in being burned or drowned .

Before the Bride , is vsed to be carried Torches burning , and behinde her , a hooke hanging downe ; which is done , to signifie , that the house into which she goeth , shee will set fire to it , and that she draweth out of the house , from which shee commeth , as much as she can .

The Nuptials are commonly solemnized at night , as if the Sunne scorned to behold them .

The Spouse is not permitted to tread vpon the threshold of the dore , because the very gate thorow which the husband must passe , reiecteth the euill , which it should receiue from the feete of the wife , which vseth also to bee anointed and sprinkled with oyle , that it may the lesse smell of that hard cruelty and sharp seuerity that the wife bringeth with her , who at her first entrance into the house , alwayes setteth her right foote forward , to signifie , that the last thing , which shee putteth vnder her husbands roofe , is her heart .

Moreouer , in some places for those customes , which I reckon vp , are not all vsed in our Countries ; but in others the wife neuer vseth to cooke any thing that the husband eateth , to signifie that all her workes be raw .

The day in which the wife is espoused vnto her husband , shee banqueteth amongst her friends , and inuiteth company with her , which is done to the end , that that day shee might be satisfied .

Her body is girt in a girdle of diuers colours , to giue vs to vnderstand , that her heart is compassed with diuers and strange imaginations .

The husband presents to her the Spindle and the Rocke ; and for that , shee restoreth to him the Spindle vntwisting or winding backward : to represent her owne ingratitude , that in recompence maketh him as an vntwisting Spindle .

The Husband settes the Rocke to his Wiues sides , because shee will set a Helmet on his head , and sometimes giue him one cuffe to begin withall , and so hee may correct her faults , which hee may doe iustly without fault .

Sometimes at marriages Walnuts are scattered vp and downe ; which sheweth , that a woman is like vnto a Walnut , that hath a great shell , but a little kernell , faire without , but rotten within : to pull off the first barke , we vse to bruise them in our hands , and to breake the second , wee indanger our teeth .

What fruit maketh more noyse then a Walnut when it is broken ?

And what creature hath more pratling thðilde ; a woman ?

Vnder the barke of a Walnut is a faire iuyce , that hee that keepeth it in his hands , is defiled therewith : so a woman with her beauty hurteth whomsoeuer beholdeth her .

He that is vnmarried , is called Callibas , as it were Coelestis , and remaineth free from bands .

But marriage is called Ligam , because it bindeth a knot , because it knitteth a string , and because it tyeth : and a yoke , because it burdeneth : yet is it farre better to carry a yoke , then to marry a wife , for that a yoke is borne in the day , but laid downe at night ; but a woman must bee endured euen to the death .

In the Italian tongue , marriage is called Maritarice , as Tarse il marie , to commit to the Sea : and Spousuer , in which language the letter S vndoeth the signification of the very posure , with which it is compounded , into a contrary meaning , as the one signifies to depose ; being compounded with S , is to be without repose : so hee that will marry , must bee sure to forsake all pleasure and delight .

And very well is marriage in the same language called Rote , as Dotansa , doubting , that those that are inticed to marry , do alwayes liue in feare , doubting a womans Dowry is giuen in Cuffes , in Garments , in Chaines , and such like .

But if it bee called for gaine , it must bee restored in Vineyards , in Lands , & in Houses , it is receiued slowly , but restored quickly .

A wife with her children quickly consumeth the apparell she brought , and the goods shee found in the house : and if it chance she dye , her Dowry must bee restored , which is sure neuer to be lost .

But let the Patrimony of her husband be consumed , there is none to restore that againe .

Yet a man should thinke it better with reason , that children should rather consume the goods of the mother , then those of the father , for that they are alwayes more surely her children then his .

He therefore that will be married to a wife , let him first think with himselfe for what cause hee marrieth her .

If thou marriest her to gouerne thy house , why , thereby thy seruants which thou maist leaue behinde thee or take , thou maist change them at thy disposition , reprehend them after thine owne will , looke vnto them at thine owne pleasure , and without controlement , giue or take from them thy keyes .

If thou marriest her for desire of children , thou maist adopt sonnes to thy selfe , and discharge them after thine owne pleasure and heart .

But if thou couetest to haue them legitimate , and thine owne , neither can this desire of thine bee fulfilled by hauing a wife , and it is better for thee , that more reprehend the folly of thy seruants then of thy wife :

If thou desirest to haue children of thine owne , I wil tell thee what thou shalt doe : Cause the mother that beares them , to bestowe them as a gift vpon thee , wherupon thou maist then , without lying , say they are thine owne .

If thou marriest , thinking with thy wiues Dowry to pay thy debts , thou hadst then better take vp money at interest , though thou shouldst pay a hundred for a hundred .

If yet thou thinkest with these Dowries to match thy daughters , it is better for thee to keepe them thy selfe , then to commit them to other solkes custody .

And to be briefe , If thou wouldst marry for loue , remember that thy wife hath eyes blinded , that her yeres are childish , and vndiscreet , her hands stinging , her father ( perhaps ) an old limping man , and her mother a wanton and lasciuious woman , her shoulders are winged , her hands polluted , & her body vncleane .

CHAP. VIII . Wherein is shewed diuers examples of witty men , that haue reprehended Marriage .

NOw that I haue bound vp all in so small a Faggot , these my speeches would seeme too long , if I should by example endeuour to prooue all that I haue before spoken ; I will therefore for breuity sake content my selfe with a fewe .

A certaine young man liued , reprehended for taking a wife of a very small stature , excused himselfe , by saying , Of many euils he had made choyse of one of the least .

A certaine man being counselled to marry , by a Philosopher , who himselfe had neuer beene married , desired him to bestowe of him one of his daughters .

Some haue beene of opinion , that the gods would descend and dwell with vs , if it were not that women liued amongst vs .

There is no man but remembred that Phoromis , the King and Law-maker of the Argiues , vsed to say , that if hee had not a wife , hee should haue all felicity .

Socrates , one of the chiefest Philosophers , had nothing that so much annoyed him , as his wife Xantippa .

A certaine Philosopher , who whiles hee was yong , was often demaunded why hee married not ? alwayes answered , that it was too soone : of whom the same being asked when hee was old , then replied , that it was too late .

A wise man that was poore , being requested of an exceeding rich woman to marry her , hee refused , saying , that she being rich , would thinke to be a husband and mistris of him that was poore .

One being reprehended for giuing his daughter in marriage to his enemy , said , that he knew not how to be better reuenged of him .

There is nothing in the world more proud then a woman .

Socrates , of whom we spake before , was requested of one , that he wold giue him leaue to marry : He said , that whether he married or not , he would after repent him . Onely this difference there was , If , saith he , thou repentest of not taking a wife , thou mayst mend thy selfe , when thou wilt : but if thou repentest when thou hast taken her , thou canst not any way finde redresse .

Arri●s , being himselfe a married man , and seeing one lamenting and making great moane , that three of his wiues , one after another , had all hanged themselues in one tree in his Garden ; he with great desire requested a branch thereof , maruailing that the man should sorrow for so good successe , bade him proyne and dresse that tree well , which brought him forth so good fruite , as to rid him of that which so much annoyed him .

I remember , that before I compared the wife to an Owle , that is the gazing stocke and wonder of all that passe by her .

I will now compare her husband to a Cuckow , who is wont to couer and hide the egges of other birds , for that some woman will rather be content with one eye and one hand , then with one man .

Marchants being at Sea , and seeing their Shippe in danger to miscarry , resolued to cast forth some of their heauiest wares . Whervpon one cast forth his wife , saying , It was hard for the Ship to sustaine such a weight .

A wise man repented him of three things ; of a day lost , a voyage made by sea , when hee might haue gone by land , and a secrete reuealed to his wife .

The conclusion of the Letter .

I Should haue a long web to weaue , if I should produce examples out of all those sayings , which confirme these my speeches : If I should onely repeate the examples of children , that most cruelly haue tortured and murdered their parents ; I will therefore conclude , telling thee onely one thing .

That the first night that thy wife shall enter into thy marriage bed , she will beginne to hope for thy death , which thou shalt better beleeue , if thou doest but obserue one suspitious custome that women haue , That the first night she lies with thee , will withall diligence obserue , whether they or their husbands fall first asleepe , prognosticating thereby , that their death is neerest .

If I should repeate vnto thee all the secrets and vanities of women , what strange things shouldst thou then heare of me ? But I refuse to relate them , because indeed it is a shame to know them .

Some ( I know ) will condemne me , for that I haue spoken , which will be such as then are newly married , or doe intend to marry .

But let them goe on , and in the end they shall blame themselues , for beleeuing me no better .

The first moneth that a man is married , I know , he will thinke me a foole .

The second moneth he will call my name in question .

The third moneth , hee will contend with me .

The fourth moneth hee wil withdraw the sentence .

The fift moneth he will pay the charges , accounting me a wise man , and himselfe a foole .

But thou wilt say , I am no competent Iudge , hauing neuer had experience , what a woman is .

I answere thee , that when two men wrastle together , he that looketh on , beholdeth the game better then themselues .

But let mee say what I will , I know , thy resolution is wholly bent vpon marriage , and to a man deliberate we seldome vse to giue counsell .

Yet let mee aduise thee , that with thine eyes shut , thy nose stopt , thy fist closed , & thy stomack armed , thou wilt take thy wife as a medicine of Rubarbe . And so I desire the gods to giue thee grace to beleeue this my letter , and to keep thee from euil : which thou shalt best do , if thou keepe thee from a wife .

FINIS .