Many doe I see here whom I know well , and of whom I am likewise knowne : and now am I a Spectacle for them to be looked on , whom in former times ( and in all mens accounts ) they held neuer likely to come to such an end . But herein he hold the iustice of God , who is so oppos'd against sinne , because that if we forget to seeke him whilst we may , he will finde vs out when we would not be found of him .

It is expected I should say something of the fact which I haue committed : And hither am I come resolued to cleare my conscience ( before I depart this world ) of all matters which I either knowe , or can now remember . And so much I haue already deliuered in writing to my Lo . Chiefe Iustice : : and to proue that which I wrote is true , I yesterday confirmed it with the receiuing of the blessed Sacrament , wishing vnto you all as much comfort by those holy Mysteries , as I tooke by them : and I doe heere ( though not with such a bloud ) yet with mine own bloud , seale that which I haue written . For my selfe , I will hide nothing to make my fault seeme lesse , but will rip open this very heart of mine , and confesse before God myne owne vncleannesse .

I haue sinned exceedingly against thee O my maker , and in this am I most faulty , that I did not reueale to the King , so soone as I my selfe had knowledge of the busines . But ( alas ) feare to loose these worldly pleasures , and the loue to promotion , made me forget my duty to my Soueraigne , and not to regard my God , who is a swift auenger of blood : and would to heauen I had trusted to his prouidence , and set the thinges of this world at nought , for heauens sake , and a good conscience . You see , Gentlemen , promotion cannot rescue vs from the iustice of God , which alwaies pursues after sinne : And therefore I exhort you not to trust in men ( how great soeuer ) for they cannot hide themselues when God is angry ; neither can they protect you from shame , when God will consume you : he that sitteth in heauen , will deride and scorne their foolish Inuentions . As for me , I will not spare to lay open my owne shame : Thinke you I care for the reputation of this world ? No , I weigh it not . This my soule shall receiue more comfort from God in my vpright dealing .

My sinne , in this foule fact , was great , for vpon me lay all the blood , shed , and to be shed : I haue made many children fatherles , many wiues husbandles , many parents childelesse : and I my selfe leaue a comfortlesse wife and eight children behinde me for it too : for if I had reuealed it when I might , I had freed much blood from being spilt , in so much as I could wish ( Gods Iustice and charity reserued ) I might hang in chaines , till I rotte away by peecemeale : nor cared I what tortures my body were put vnto , so I might expaite or free the bloud of so many , ( some in one place , and some in another ) which is both like to bee shed , and is already shed , and the Lord knowes when it will haue an end .

Concerning my selfe , I will aggrauate the crime , by speaking of euery circumstance I can remember . And now it comes into my mind , what trust that gentleman put into me : hee reputed me to bee most faithfull vnto him ; ( Oh the vildnesse of my heart ! ) I proued vnfaithfull , and was his deadly deceitfull friend .

And here ( Gentlemen ) I exhort you all that you would take notice of this , euer to bee faithfull to those who put you in trust .

Sir Thomas O. trusted me , and I was vnfaithfull and treacherous to him , in drawing tickets for him to his disaduantage . I promised him secrecy , yet betrayed him , onely to satisfy greatnesse : But God , who sees the secret thoughts of mans heart , will disclose all vnuist actions at last : nay , I am perswaded that whosoeuer they bee that commit sinne in their child-hood , at one time or other it will be reuealed .

In this place it commeth to my mind , that in my yonger dayes ( as wel beyond the Seas as here ) I was much addicted to that idle veyne of Gaming , I was bewitched with it indeed : And I played not for little for final summs neither , but for Great-ones , yet euer haunted with ill lucke : And vpon a time , being much displeased at my losse , I sayd , not in a carelesse maner , Would I might be hanged ; But seriously , and aduisedly ( betweene God and my selfe ) clapping my hands vpon my breast , I spake thus , If euer I play again , then let me be hangd . Now gentlemen here you may behold the ustice of God , paying mee my wish and imprecation home . Bee carefull therefore I exhort you , that you vow nothing but that vnto which you will giue all diligence to performe : for the powerful God , before whom you make such vowes , will otherwise bee auegned :

Jn this place Doctor Whiting putting him in mind to satisfie the World touching his Religion thus he went on .

THe matter you speake to mee of , faith hee , is well thought vpon : for I heare that abroad hath beene some murmuring and questions made about mee for my Religion ; Some giuing out that I was infected with Anabaptisme : A fond , ridiculous , foolish and phantasticall opinion , which I neuer affected but rather despised .

Many may thinke that the manner of my death doth much discourage mee , that I should dye in a halter : I would haue you all to thinke that I scorne all such worldly thoughts : I care not for it , I value not any earthly shame at all , so as may haue honour and glory anon in Heauen : and I make no doubt , but I shall sodainely be more happie then you all , and that I shall see GOD face to face : and if there be any point of innocency in mee at all , I doe vtterly cast it from mee , and I doe commit it wholly to GOD .

And for any matter of Glory , I doe with the Saints of GOD expect it through the merits of Christ , at the Resurrection : yea it is my glorie to die thus . I might haue died in my Bedde , or shooting the Bridge or else haue fallen downe sodainly , in which death I should haue wanted this space to repent , being the sweet comfort and assured hope of Gods fauour which of his mercy he hath vouchsafed mee ; So that it swalloweth vp all feare of death or reproch of the World : wishing vnto all you ( Gentlemen ) who now behold mee , that wheresoeuer you shall dye , ( either in your Beddes or else-where howsoewer ) you may feele such comfort and resolution as God in his mercy hath bestowed vppon mee and my wounded Soule for this and the rest of my grieuous Sinnes .

But mee thinkes I heare some of you coniecture and say , that I expresse no great Arguments or signes of sorrow : You think my heart should rather dissolue and melt into teares , then to appeare so insensible of feare as I may seeme : but I must tell you , teares were neuer common in mee : I may therefore feare though I do not weepe . I haue been couragious both beyond the Seas and heere in mine owne Country : but ( Gentlemen ) that was when there was no perill before mee . But now the stroke of death is vppon mee . It affrights mee , and there is cause to feare : yet notwithstanding , my heart seemeth vnto you to be rather of stone than of flesh . But I would haue you vnderstand , that this boldnes doth not proceed from any manly fortitude , for I am a man , fraile as you are , and dare as little look death in the face as any other : ther terors of death doe as much trouble my humane sense , as of any man whatsoeuer : but that which swalloweth vp all manner of feare in me , & maketh me to glory and to reioyce in , is , the full assurance which I conceiue of the vnspeakable loue of God to those who are his , of which number I perswade my selfe to bee one , and that I shall presently enioy it .

I confesse I haue sinned exceedingly , against thee ( oh God ) many wayes , in prophaning thy holy Sabaoths , in taking thy glorious name in vaine , in my concupiscence in turning all thy graces into wantonnes , in my Riotous wasting so many of thy good Creatures , as would haue relieued many poore people , whose prayers I might haue had this day .

I haue sinned against thee in my Child-hood : but Childrens sinnes are childishly performed : but I confirmed them in my manhood , there was my sinne . I am perswaded , there is no sinne , that a man committeth in his life , knowing it to be a sin , and not repenting of it , but the Lord will iudge it .

I admonish you therefore that are heere assembled , to take good notice of your sinnes , and let none escape you vnrepented . And yet when you haue done the best you can , there will lie buried some one sinne or other sufficent to condemne you .

O Lord clense mee from my secret sinnes , which are in me so rife . I abused the tender education of my Parents . You perhaps that knew mee will say no ; I liued in an honest forme , and was not bad in my life .

But I know best my selfe what I was : & if I who was so esteemed of amongst Men , shall scarcely be saued , what will become of those , whom you point at for notorious lieuers ?

The last night God put into my mind the remembrance of one sinne of mine , which heere I will lay open , that others may take heed . I tooke a vaine pride in my pen , and some of my friendes would tell me I had some induments and speciall gift that way : ( though I say nor so my selfe ) but mark the iudgement of God in this ; that Pen which I was so proud of , hatch struck mee dead , and like Absolons hayre hath hanged me : for there hath dropt a word or two from my Pen , in a letter of mine , which vpon my Saluation I am not able to answer , or to giue any good accompt of . At my Arraignment I pleaded hard for life , & protested my Innocency , but when my owne Pen came against mee , I was forthwith not able to speake anything for my selfe : for I stood as one amazed , or that had no Tongue .

See ( Gentlemen ) the iust Iudgement of GOD , who made that thing of which I was most proud , to be my bane : take notice how strangely sinne is punished , and learne euery-one to striue against it .

I haue heard the word of GOD , and often read it ( but without vse ) for I must tell you these two worthy , Gentlemen ( to whom I am so much bounden , God reward them for their loue ) euen they begat mee very lately , for I am not ashamed to confesse that I was to be begotten vnto Christ within these three daies : yea I haue often prayed against sinne , and made many vowes to forsake it , but vppon the next occasion , my foule heart hath beene ready to runne with the wicked .

Had I learned but this one lesson in the 119. Psalme , ( Depart from mee ye wicked , I will keepe the Commandements of my God &c. ) I had beene likely to haue enioyed many dayes heere on eath : whereas now you all see mee ready to bee cut short by reason of my sinne .

But ( O LORD ) albeit thou slayest mee , yet will I put my trust in thee : let the LORD doe to me what hee will , I will dye vpon this hand ( of trusting in him ) if I faile many a soule hath miss'd , but I haue sure hope of mercy in him ; hee hath sufficed and succoured mee , I am sure , euer since the sentence of death hath passed vppon mee : such comfort flowing from the Godly indeauors of these Gentlemen ( the Diuines ) that neither the Reproach of this Death , nor the Torment of it hath any whit discouraged me ; nay , let me tell you , the last night when I heard the time was appoynted , and saw the warrant in Master Sheriffs hand for my death , it no whit daunted me : But what put this courage into me ? onely the hope which I had in GODS mercies .

This Hope was a Seede , and this Seed must come from a Roote ; I looked vpon my selfe , and there was rather cause despaire ; and iust cause , that I should not approach GODS presence . Thus then I disputed with GOD : This Hope being a Seede must haue a Roote , and this Roote is not any thing in Man , no , it is Praescientia ( thy fore-knowledge , ) O God , who hast elected me from eternity .

I will tell you , I receiued more comfort this morning , comming along the streetes , than euer I did in all my life . I saw much people gathered together , all the way as I came , to see mee brought to this shamefull end : who with their hearty prayers and well wishings gladded and comforted my very soule : insomuch as I could wish that I had come from Westminster hither . I protest vnto you , I thinke I could neuer haue dyed so happily in my bed .

But you will say , these are but speechees , and that I being so neere death , my heart cannot be so free , as I seeme in my speech : I confesse , there are in my brest frailties , which doe terrifie , and will still be busie with me , but I beseech you when I am at the stroake of death , that you would praie to GOD ( with mee ) that neither Sathans power , nor my weakenesse , may hinder my confidence . And I beseech God that amongst all who this daie heare mee , some may profit by my end : If I get but one Soule , I shall haue much comfort in that ; for that one soule my beget another , and that other another .

I haue held you too long , but I will draw to an end : intreating you all to ioyne in praier to God for me .