THE FIRST CHAPTER . He inuokes Almightie God for the amendement of his life and manners .

O LORD my God! bestowe vpon my hart . that I may desire thee ; that by desiringe thee , I may seeke thee ; that by seekinge thee , I may finde thee ; that by findinge thee I may loue thee , that by loueing thee , I may be freed from all my sinns ; and that once being freed , I may returne to them noe more . O Lord my God! grant repentance to my hart , contrition to my spirit , a fontaine of tears to mine eyes , and liberality in giueinge almes , to my hands . O my King ! extinguish all desires of sense , and kindle the fire of thy loue in me . O thou my Redeemer , driue away the spirit of pride ; and grant me , through thy mercy , the treasure of thy humility . O thou , my Sauiour ! remoue from me the fury of anger , and vouchsafe me ( of thy grace ) the sheild of patience . O thou my Creator ! take all rancor from me ; and through thy meekenes , inrich me with a sweete , and gentle minde . Bestowe on me , ô most mercifull Father , a solide faith , a conuenient hope , and a continuall charity ! O thou my Directour ! remoue from me , vanity and inconstancy of minde , vnsetlednes of body , scurrility of speech , pride of eyes , gluttony of diet , the offence of my neighbours , the wickednes of detractions , the itch of curiosity , the desire of riches , the oppression , which is imposed by the mighty , the appetite of vayne glory , the mischeife of hipocrisy , the poyson of flattery , the contempt of the necessitous and poore , the oppression of the weake , the biteinge of couetousnes , the rust of enuy , and the death of blasphemy .

Cutt away from me , O thou who art my maker ! all vngodly temerity , pertinacy , vnquietnesse , idlenes , sleepinesse , slothe , dullnes of minde , blindnesse of hart , stiffnes of opinion , harshnesse of conuersation , disobedience to vertu , and opposition to good aduice , vnbridlednesse of speech , oppression of the poore , violence of the riche , slaunder of the innocent , sharpnesse towards my seruants , ill example towards myne acquaintance , and hard-hartednes towards my neighbours . O my God , and my mercy , I beseech thee , by thy beloued Sonne , grant that I may performe the workes of mercy , and pitty ; sufferinge with the afflicted , aduising such as erre , succourring such as are miserable , supplying such as are in want , confortinge such as are in sorrow , releiuing the oppressed , refreshing the poore , cherishinge the spirits which are wounded ; forgiueing those that trespasse against me , perdoninge such as doe me wronge , loueing them , who hate me , rendringe good for euell , dispiseing none , but honouringe all , imitating the good , takeing heed of the bade , imbraceing vertue , reiectinge vice , haueing patience in aduersity , and moderation in prosperity ; and , that , keepeing a guard vpon my mouth , and shuttinge the doore of my lipps , I may despise , all earthly , and aspire to heauenly things .

CHAP. II. The accusation of man , and the commendation & praise , of the diuine mercy .

BEhold , ( O thou who haste framed me ) how many things I haue desired , while yet I deserue not , so much as a fewe . I confesse , woe is me . I confesse that not onely these graces , which I haue begged , are not due to me , but rather many , & most exquisite torments . Yet doth the example of the Publicanes , and Harlotts , & murthering theeues , giue me harte ; who beinge suddenly drawne out of the very iawes of the enimy , haue beene imbraced , in the bosome of the good sheepheard . And thou , ô God , the Creator of all things , though in all thy workes thou be admirable , yet we beleiue that thou art much more admirable , in the workes of mercy . Wherupon thou saidst , by a certaine seruant of thine , His mercyes are ouer all his workes . And we doe confidently hope , that it was , as if thou hadest spoken it of euery one of vs in particuler , when thou didst thus expresse thy selfe of the whole people : saying , But I will not remoue mercy from it : For thou despisest noe man , thou reiectest noe man , thou abhorrest noe man , vnlesse perhaps it be some one , who is so mad as to abhorr thee .

When therefore thou art angry , thou dost not onely not strike the offenders , but euen impartest blessings to them ; if they giue ouer offending .

O thou , my God! the very horne of my saluation and my vpholder , I wretched creature , haue offended thee : I haue done wickedly in thy sight : I haue deserued thy wrathe : I haue prouoked thy fury : I haue sinned , and thou hast suffred me : I haue offended , and thou yet endurest me . If I repent , thou pardonest ; if I returne , thou receiuest ; nay more then this , whilest I am deferring , thou expectest me . Thou dost reduce me when I err : thou inuitest me when I resiste : thou staiest for me when I am dull , thou imbracest me when I returne : Thou teachest me when I am ignorant : thou cherrishest me when I am afflicted : thou raisest me whilest I fall : thou restorest me when I am fallen : thou giuest me when I aske : thou art found when I seeke thee ; and thou openest when I knock .

O Lord , the God of my saluation ! behold , I know not what I may alledge : I know not what to answere : I haue no refuge , nor hole to retire my serfe into from thee . Thou hast showed me the way of good life , and thou hast giuen me knoweledge how to cōduct my selfe : thou haste treatned me with the feare of hell , thou hast allured me with the hope of the glory of heauen And now , O Father of mercyes ! ô God of all consolation , strike through my very flesh with thy feare ; to the end , through feare I may auoide that which thou threatnest ; and restore to me the ioy of thy sauing grace , that by loue , I may obteyne the thinges which thou promisest .

O Lord ! my strength , and my fundation , my God , my refuge , & my deliuerer , inspire me with what I ought to thinke of thee ; teach me with what words I should inuoke thee ; impart the power of performeinge those workes , wherby I may please thee . I know there is one thing , wherby thou art appeased , & an other which thou art not wont to despise . To witt an afflicted soule , is a sacrifice to thee : and thou vouchsafest to accept an humble and contrite hart .

O my God , and my helper ! inrich me , I beseech thee , with these guifts ; defend me against mine enemy by these graces ; impart this refreshinge to me , against the burninge heat of sensualityes , and lett this refuge be open to me , against the importunity of all inordinate desires . O Lord ! the strength of my saluation , doe not permitt me to be of them , who beleeue in thee for a season ; but in the tyme of temptation departe from thee . Ouer shadow this head of mine , in the day of battell O thou who art my hope in the tyme of affliction , and my saueing health in the tyme of tribulation . Behold , ô Lord ! ô thou my light , and my saluation ! I haue begged those things of thee which I neede : I haue intimated those things which I apprehend and feare , but my conscience fills me with remorse , the secretts of my hart reprooue me , and that which loue gathered together , feare scattereth ; and that which zeale moues me too , distrust drawes me from . My sinns , giue me terrour , but thy pitty putts me into hope ; thy bounty exhorts me , though myne owne malignity holds me back . And that I may confesse a truth , the images , and representations of my old sinns , be still obtrudeing themselues on my memory , & they hold me downe from presumeing too farr .

CHAP. III. The complainte of a man who is not heard by our Lord , through his disobedience .

FOr in fine , when a man is worthy of hate , with what face shall he desire fauour ? To whome punishment is due , what rash boldnes is it for him , to expect glory ? He prouoketh his Iudge , who instead of giueinge satisfaction for his offence , pretends to be honored with rewards . He insults vpon his Kinge , who beinge obnoxious to punishment , will aduenture to begg a prize which is not due to him . And that foolish sonne , would exasperate the tender hart of his father , who ( hauinge reproached the same father ) would presume to vsurpe the honour of the inheritance , before he had disposed himself to pennance . What is this , ô my deare Father , which I say I haue done ! I haue deserued death , and yet I aske life . I haue offended my souueraigne Kinge , whose aide I doe yet thus impudently implore . I haue despised my Iudge whome thus rashly , I desire to be my helper . Most insolently haue I refused , so much as to harken to my Father , whom yet I am presumeinge , to haue for my defender . Woe be vnto me , how late doe I come : woe be to me , how slack am I in makeing haste ; woe be to me , who am runninge still , hauing receiued fresh wounds and yet vouchsafe not when I am wel , to preuent the pearcinge of new arrowes . I haue neglected to forsee the darts before they came ; but now that I behold my death at hand , I am full of trouble . I added wounds to wounds , because I feared not , to add crimes to crimes . My ancient scarrs , I haue broken through with new violence ; because my late iniquities , haue corresponded with my ancient sinns ; and that which thy diuine phisick had cured , and closed ; the itch of my frensy , hath opened againe . The skinn which being drawen ouer my wounds , did conceale my infirmity , hath putrified by the breaking out of filthy blood ; whilest that iniquity which I iterated , did euacuate the mercy which thou dist grante . For I well know , how it is written : In what houre soeuer the iust man shall sinn , all his iustice shal be forgotten . And now if the iustice of the iust man shal be forgotten when he falls , how much more shall the peunance of a sinner be forgotten , if he returne againe to comitt those sinns ? How often , like a dogg , haue I returned to my vomitt , and like a sowe , haue I weltered againe , in the mire ? I may wel confesse it , for it is impossible , but I should remember it . How many ignorant persons haue I taught the way how to sinn ? how many haue I persuaded , who had no minde to it ? I haue compelled such as resisted ; and I haue consented to such as desired . For how many haue I laide a snare , who were already in the right way ? and for others who sought that way , I haue digged a pitt , and to the end that I might not abhorr the doeinge of these things , I feared not to cast them out of my minde . But thou ô iust Iudge , who sealest vp the accounts of my sinns , and who standest watchinge ouer all my wayes , and haste numbered euery one of my stepps ; thou I say , heldest thy peace , thou hast euer beene silent , and euer patient . But woe is me , thou wilt at length cry out , like a woman who is in the torment of child-bedd .

CHAP. IV. The feare of the Iudge .

O God , of Gods , O Lord who art too hard for the malice , and sinn of man . I knowe that one day thou wilt appeare ; I know that thou wilt not be allwayes silent , when the fire shall burn in thy sight , and that strong tempest , shall compasse thee inn round about ; when thou shalt call the heauen & earth , at such tyme as thou wilt iudge thy people . And behold all my iniquities shal be discouered then , before so many thousands of nations ; and all my greiuous crimes not onely , deeds , but euen words , and very thoughts themselues , shal be manifested , to so many legions of Angells . Before so many iudges , shall I , desolate creature , stand , as there wil be men , who haue farr outstripped me in good workes . By so many reprouers shall I be confounded , as haue giuen me examples of good life . And by so many witnesses shall I be conuinced , as haue taught me by good speeches ; and instructed me , toward an imitation of them , by their good examples . O my Lord , I can lighte vpon nothinge which I may say ; nothing doth occurr which I can answere . And now , whilest I am subiect to this sharp triall , my conscience racks me , the secrets of my hart torment me , couetousnesse streightens me , pride accuses me , enuy consumes me , concupiscence inflames me , lust importunes me , gluttony dishoners me , ebriety ouercomes me , detraction tears me , ambition supplants me , greedinesse disquiets me , discorde scatters me , anger disturbes me , mirth dissolues me , heauinesse oppresseth me , hypocrisy deceiues me , flattery alters me , fauour exalts me , & slaunder wounds me . Behold ô thou , who art my deliuerer from these feirce nations ! behold who they be , whome I haue liued with all , from the very day of my birth ; whome I haue obserued , and to whome I haue dedicated my selfe . Those very imployments which I loued , condemn me ; they which I praised , dishonored me . These are those frends with whome I did so carefully comply ; those Maisters , whose direction I followed , those Lords whome I haue serued ; those Counseillers whome I haue beleeued ; those citzens with whome I haue dwelt ; & those domesticks whome I haue consented too . woe is me , ô my King , and my God , that my habitation here , is so much prolonged . Woe is me ! O thou light of mine eyes , that I haue dwelt amongst the inhabitants of Cedar . And if holy Dauid could say that he had dwelt much with them , how much more , may I wretched creature say ( O thou my God , and my strong fundation ) that my soule hath dwelt too much with them ; for in thy sight , noe man liueinge can be iustifyed .

My hope is not reposed in the sonnes of men , for if thou iudge them ( when thy mercy is laide a side ) whome wilt thou be able to finde iust ? And if thou preuent not the wicked man by showeing mercy ? thou wilt not finde any good man , vpon whome to bestowe thy glory . For I beleeue ( O thou who art my saluation ) that which I haue beene told , that it is thy mercy which bringeth me to pennance . Those lipps of thy mouth more sweete then Nectar , haue sounded forth these words : Noe man can come to me , vnles my Father who sent me , drawe him . Because therfor thou haste instructed me : because by that instruction , thou hast mercifully framed me ; as now I am ; I doe with the most inward marrow of my soule , and with all possible strife of my hart , inuoke thee , ô Omnipotent Father , with thy most beloued Sonne ; and thee , ô most sweete Sonne , with the most excellent souueraigne Holy spirit , that thou wilt draw me towards thee , & that so I may runn after the fragrance of thy pretious odours : and that I may doe it most dearely .

CHAP. V. The Father is inuoked by the Sonne .

INuoke thee , ô my God! I inuoke hee , because thou art present , to all such as call vpon thee , in the way of truth : for thou art Truth . Teach me , ô holy Truth , by thy mercy , how I may inuoke thee , in thee , because I know not how that must be done ; and therefore I doe most humbly begg of thee , to be taught by thee For to be wise without thee , is to play the foole ; but to knowe thee , is perfectly to be wise . Teach me , ô diuine Wisdome , and instruct me in thy lawe , for I beleeue that he whome thou teachest , and whome thou instructest in thy lawe , shal be happy . I desire to inuoke thee , and I beseech thee , that it may be in all Truth What is it to call vpon Truth , in Truth , but to call vpon the Father in his Sonnes . Thy speach therfore , ô holy Father , is Truth , and Truth is the beginninge of thy words . For this , is the beginninge of thy words , that in the beginning was the word . In the very beginning doe I adore thee , who art the prime , and supreame beginninge . In that very worde of Truth , doe I also inuoke thee ô perfect Truth , in which word I beseech thee , who art that very Truth , that thou will direct , and teach me that Truth . For what is more delightfull , then to inuoke the Father , in the name of his onely begotten Sonne ; to induce the Father to mercy , by the remembrance of his Sonne ; & to mollify the Kings hart by the mention of his dearest Sonne . For thus doe prisoners vse to be freed from their restrainte : So are slaues , freed from their chaines ; and men who are lyable to the sadd doome of death , are not onely absolued ; but growe intitled , sometymes , to extraordinary fauour , when they putt angry Princes in minde , of the loue they beare to theyr progeny : And when the intercession of the Sonne is imployed , the poore slaue is wonte to auoide the punishment of his Lord .

Iust so , ô thou Omnipotent Father , I begg of thee , by thine Omnipotent Sonne , that thou wilt drawe my soule out of prison , that I may confesse to thy name . I beseech thee , by that onely begotten Sonne of thine , who is coeternall with thee ; that thou wilt discharge me , from these fetters of my sinns ; and that by the mediation of thy most pretious issue , who is sitting at thy right hand ; thou wilt , of thy goodnes , restore me to life , who for my great demerits am threatned with the sentence of death . For I know not what other intercessor I should be able to vse towards thee , but him who is propitiation for our sinns , and who sitteth at thy right hand pleadinge for vs . Behold , ô God the Father , him who is my aduocate with thee . Behold that supreame Bishop , who hath noe need to be expiated by any others blood , because he is resplendent by being all bathed , in his owne . Beholde here the holy Sacrifice which is holy , perfect , and wel pleasing ; & which is offered in the odour of sweetnes , & so accepted . Behold the lamb without spott , who is silent before the shearrer ; and who being beaten vpon the face with blowes , and defiled with spittle , and reproached with scorne , did not yet so much as open his mouth . Behold , he who neuer committed sinn , hath borne our sinns ; and by his owne wounds , hath cured our diseases .

CHAP. VI. Here man representeth the Passion of the Sonne to the Father .

BEholde deare Father , thy most holy Sonne , who hath suffered such bitter paines for me . Behold ô most clement Kinge , who it is that suffers , and mercifully remember , for whome he suffers . Is not he , ô my Lord , that innocent person , who beinge thine onely Sōne , was deliuered by thee , to the end that he might redeeme thy slaue ? Is not he the author of life , who yet is carried like à sheepe to slaughter ; and being made obedient to thee , did not feare to vndergoe a most outragious kinde of death , which was most hydeously greiuous ? Call to minde , ô thou who art the dispenser of all saluation , that this is , that very he , whome although thou didst begett , out of thyne owne substance , and strength ; thou didest yet ordeyne to be partaker of my infirmity . Yea this indeed is that Deity of thyne , which apparelled it selfe with my nature , & that nature ascended vp to the tree of the Crosse , & endured bitter torment in the flesh , which it assumed . Send downe , ô Lord my God , the eyes of thy Majesty , vpon this worke of thy vnspeakable piety . Behold thy sweete Sonne , beinge stretched out from head to foote . Beholde those innocent hands all distillings with his pretious blood , and thou beinge once appeased , forgiue the wickednes which my hands haue wrought . Consider that disarmed side of his , which is pearced by the pointe of a cruell Launce ; and renew me in that most sacred springe , which I beleeue flowed downe from thence . Cast an eye towards those immaculate feete of his , which neuer stood in the way of sinners , but did alwayes walke in thy Lawe . See how they are fastned , with cruell nailes , and doe thou perfect my paces in thy pathewayes , and mercifully make me hate all wayes of wickednes . Remoue the way of iniquity from me , and of thy goodnes , make me choose the way of truthe . I beseech thee , ô Kinge of Saynts , by this Redeemer of mine , that thou wilt make me runn with speed through the way of thy Commandemētes , that so I may be vnited to him in spiritt , who disdayned not to be vested with my flesh .

Dost thou not , ô holy Father , obserue how that most deere head of thy Sonne ( he being yet but in the flower of his youth ) is hanging downe vpon that necke , which is as white as snowe , and doth resolue it selfe into a most pretious death ? Beholde , ô thou most meeke Creator , the humanity of thy beloued Sonne ; and take pitty vpon the weakenes of our fraile nature . That bare brest of his , is lilly-pale ; that side is all read , and goared with blood , those bowells are withered , with being stretched out , those sweete bright eyes doe languish ; that imperiall face is all discoloured ; those long and gracefull armes , are growen stiffe ; those marble thighes are hanging downe ; and those springs of that pretious blood , doe bedew , & bathe , his transperced feete . Behold ô glorious Father the torne lymms of thy most beloued Sonne ; and in thy mercy , remember that he carrieth my nature about him . Behold the punishment of that man , who is God ; and release the misery of that man who was created by him . Behold the punishment of the Redeemer , and remitt and pardon his offence who is redeemed . This is he , ô my Lord , whome thou didst strike for the sinns of thy people , though he be still that beloued , in whome thou art so well pleased . This is that innocent person , in whome noe guile was found , and yet , he was esteemed to be one of the wicked .

CHAP. VII . Here man acknowledgeh that himselfe by his sinnes , is the cause of the Passion of Christ our Lord .

WHAT hast thou committed , ô thou most sweete childe , that thou shouldest so be iudged ? what hast thou committed , ô most amiable yonge man , that thou shouldest be treated so ? what is thy wickednes ? what is thy cryme ? what is the cause of thy death ? what is the occasion of thy condemnation ? It is I , it is I , who am that wound , which putts thee to payne , and I am the cryme which kills thee : and I am the man who deserued that death which thou endurest . I am the wickednes , wherof reueng is taken vpon thee . I am that sornes of thy Passion : I am the labour of thy torment . O admirable kind of sentence ! O disposition of an vnspeakable mistery ! The wicked man sinns , and the iust man is punished : The guilty person offends , and the innocent man bears the blowes ; the impious man errs , and the holy man is condemned . That which the wicked man deserues , the holy man endures ; that which the slaue borrowes , his Lord pays ; that which man committs , God vndergoes . How lowe , ô Sonne of God , how lowe did thy humility descend ? how high did thy charity burne vp ? how farr did thy piety proceed ? howe wide did thy benignity extend ? whither did thy loue aspire ? and where did thy compassion arriue ? For it is I , who haue done wickedly , and thou art punished . I , who haue committed the cryme , and thou art layd vpon the Racke . I , grewe proude , and thou art humbled . I was puffed vp , and thou art extenuated . I haue showed my selfe disobedient , and thou being obedient , dost answeare for the paine due to that disobedience . I haue obeyed the temptation of gluttony , and thou art halfe consumed for lacke of meate . Distempered affection drewe me on apace to vnlawfull concupiscence ; and perfect charity was that , which led thee on to the Crosse . I presumed to doe that which was forbidden , thou didst vndergoe torments . I am delighted with meate , thou art in labour vpon the Crosse . I am fed with delight : thou art torne with nailes . I tasted the sweetnes of the apple ; thou the bitternes of gall . Eue laughs , & congratulats my sinn with me ; but Mary weeps and takes compassion with thee . Behold , O Kinge of glory , behold how my impiety , and thy piety , are made apparent by one another . Beholde how my iniustice & thy Iustice are made cleerly manifest . What! O my King , and my God , shall I render for all those things , which thou hast bestowed on me ? For there is nothinge to be found in the hart of man , which can beare any portion to thy singular benefites . Can the sharpnes of mans conceite , thinke of any thinge , to which the mercy of God may be compared ? Noe , it is not in the power of a creature to performe any seruice that can make full amends to his Creator .

But yet , O Sonne of God , there is somewhat in this admirable dispensation of thine , there is some what , wherein my frailty may answeare , in some small proportion to what I owe if by the visitation of thy holy Spiritt , my contrite hart , may crucify my flesh with the vices , and concupiscences therof . And when this fauour is granted me by thee , I doe already , as it were , beginn to suffer sweetly with thee , because thou didest vouchsafe to dye for my sinns .

And thus by the victory of the inward man , he is prepared through thy help , toward an euident triumph ; so that the spirituall persecution being ouercome , he fears not to submitt himselfe , for the loue of thee , to a materiall sword . And in this manner , if it be pleasinge to thy mercy , the weakenes of our condition wil bee able , accordinge to our litle strength , to correspond with the greatenesse of our Creator .

This , O deare Iesus , is that celestial medicine : this is the antidote of thy loue . I beseech thee , by those ancient mercyes of thyne , infuse some such thing into my wounds , as wherreby , I ( casting vp the contagion of vipers , which I haue suckt ) may be reintigrated to my former health , and that vpon the taste of the Nectar of thy diuine sweetnes , I may be drawen to despise the inticeinge vanities of this world , with my whole hart ; and that , by thy goodnes , I may not be freighted with any aduersity which can happen here ; but , being mindefull of that nobility which is to last for euer , I may still loath the windes of this transitory world . Lett nothinge , I beseech thee , be delightfull to me , witheut thee . Lett nothinge be pleasinge , nothinge be pretious , nothinge beautifull besides thee . Lett all things , I beseeche thee , growe base , & odious without thee . That which is contrary to thee , lett it be troublesome to me , and lett thy good pleasure , be my eternall desire . Lett it be à tedious thing to me , to reioyce without thee ; and lett it delight me , to be greiued for thee . Lett thy very name , be a ioy to my hart ; and lett the comfort of thy memory , bring my tears , which may be the bread I feed on , day and night , whilest I seeke thy lawe . And lett that lawe be esteemed by me , beyonde thousands of gold and siluer . Lett it be an amiable thinge for me , to obey thee , and execrable to resiste thee . I beseech thee , ô my hope , by all thy workes of pitty , that thou wilt haue mercy vpon my sinns . Make mine ears stand open to thy Commaundements . And I beseech thee , by thy holy Name , lett not my hart decline towards the words of malice , to the makeinge of excuses vpon excuses , of my sinns : and I beseech thee also , by that admirable humility of thine , that the foote of pride may not come towards me , and that the hand of a sinner may not stirre me .