YOur Remarks upon my politick Capacity , tho' they are sharp , touch me not , but recoil on those that have not made use of the Advantages they might have drawn from thence ; and are doubly to blame . First in sending a Person , in whose Ability , Sense , and Veracity , they cou'd not confide ; and next , not to understand when a Person indifferent tells 'em a probable Story , and which if it come to pass , wou'd sufficiently punish their Incredulity ; and which if followed , wou'd have put 'em on their Guard against a vigilant and industrious Foe , who watch'd e'ery Opportunity of returning the several Repulses , and Damages they had met with of late from them . But I have often observ'd your busie young Statesmen , so very opinionated of their own Designs , that they are so far from encouraging those of another , if good , that they cannot forgive their Proposal , and sacrifice a publick Good to their particular Pride .

But I have let these Idle Reflections ( for such must all be that regard our wretched Statesmen ) divert me from a more agreeable Relation : To comply therefore with your Request , in its full Extent , I shall give you an Account of both my own Adventures , and those of a Lady of my Acquaintance ; and with her I 'll begin , for 't is but civil to give place to a Stranger . I shall convey her to your Knowledge by the Name of Lucilla . She is of a gay , airy Disposition , middle-siz'd , fine black Eyes , long flowing dark Hair . Nature has drawn her Eye-brows , which are dark , much finer than Art usually does those of the affected Beauties of our Acquaintance ; her Mouth is small , her Lips plump , ruddy , and fresh , I won't say moist ; her Hand small ; Fingers long and taper , and her Shape better than is usual among the Flemish Ladies : To this I must add , That her Wit is much above the common Rate .

With all these Accomplishments , you may imagine that she was not without her Admirers ; among which Number , none came so near her Heart , as the eldest Son of Ramirez , an old sordid Miser , that loved his Money much above his Sons , or ev'n himself ; which made the Allowance he gave his Two Sons but very small , and not fit to enable them to make any tolerable Figure in the World . For the real Names of these two Brothers , I must give that of Miguel and Lopez , and for the Grace of the Matter , add Don to 'em .

Don Miguel , and Don Lopez , I know not how they came by 'em , had Souls as brave and generous as that of their Fathers was wretched and base ; they with Pain saw their many Advantages of a liberal Education their Fathers Covetousness robb'd 'em of ; and by their natural Parts , and winning Behaviour , touched their Relations so nearly , that they long contributed to their Improvement , ev'n till now the Brothers were become two of the most accomplish'd and gallant Youths of the City ; their Quality gave them Admittance to the best Families , and their Accomplishments to the Hearts of the fairest Ladies : but few ever pass'd farther than the Confines of theirs ; and the lighter touches of an Amoret was all that made them sigh , till they saw the incomparable Lucilla , and her fair Cousin , of whom not knowing her , I shall say nothing . Don Miguel , as gay as he was , and as insensible as he fansied himself , no sooner saw Lucilla , but he found the Difference betwixt the Force of her Eyes , and those of the rest of the Ladies of his Acquaintance : And as a Proof of it , he was not sooner touch'd with Love , than Jealousie ; for her Cousin sitting by her , he observ'd his Brother's Eyes often cast that way , and was very uneasie at it ; and that Friendship that grew up with their Years , and increas'd as they grew , found now a sudden Check . I will not , like your Romance-Writers , give you an Account of all his private Reflections on this Occasion , nor the Conflict and Struggling betwixt his old Guest Friendship , and this new Intruder Love . It is enough to tell you , that assoon as Opportunity serv'd he took Care to put himself out of Pain , or at least to give himself a Certainty , whether his Brother was his Rival or not ; and was not a little pleas'd , that Lucilla had only found the way to his Heart , while his Brother saw nothing so fair as her Cousin . Don Miguel and Don Lopez , as they were in Love , so they were too accomplish'd to be unsuccessful ; and there remained no Obstacle to their Happiness , but their Father's Avarice , which wou'd never be brought to any Reason , in allowing them what was fit for Persons of their Rank . They coming therefore to a Consultation , what Measures to take to cure their Father of so ungenerous Distemper of the Mind ; and by that Means , accomplish what they both longed for more than Glory .

They found their Father's Avarice had not so engross'd his Soul , as to beat off all Sentiments of Religion ; on the contrary , he was extreamly credulous of all the superstitious parts of religion , and particularly of all Narrations of Spectres , Witches , Apparitions , &c. they therefore concluded to attack him on that side that cou'd make the least Defence . He constantly spent part of the Morning in telling his Money , and counting his Bags : His Sons therefore having procur'd a Pick-lock to his Closet , took Care to place in it a Figure that was very dreadful , so that the old Gentleman shou'd find him counting his Bags and Money when he came in ; which happen'd accordingly . He was not a little frighted , and hastily retir'd , nor came thither again in three or four Days , but on his next coming , he was extreamly surpriz'd , to find the Number of his Bags increas'd , which for some time had been lessen'd e'ery Morning , so that he concluded it was a Reward of his Abstinence from a Sight that pleas'd him too much : Yet was so well pleas'd with this Increase , that he repeated his Visits for three or four Mornings together , and found his Bags decrease on that . He was very much troubled in Mind , and consulting his Confessour on all that had happen'd , he assur'd him it cou'd be none but the Devil he had seen ; and that he was to fear the Consequence of taking Possession of any of the Money so left there by that evil Spirit , and it was much to be doubted whether he had not exchang'd the whole . So concluding with some wholsome Advice against Avarice , he dismiss'd his Penitent , who again for some time forbore his Closet ; and on his next Visit , finding all he had ever loss'd returned , and abundance more added , a Fit of Avarice coming on him , he resolv'd to try if he cou'd out-wit the Devil ; and by removing it from that Place , which he suppos'd taken Possession of by the foul Fiend , secure both the Money and his own Peace of Mind . Accordingly in the Night he digs a hole in the Garden , and conveys all the Bags into it , and covers them safely up . His Sons the next Day , coming to the Closet , and finding all removed , were not a little disappointed and troubl'd , to think how they shou'd at least recover that Money which was lent 'em by their Friends to carry on this Design . All the Difficulty lay in discovering where their Father had hid it , and to do that nothing occurr'd that wou'd hold Water , till Don Lopez concluded to make once more the Experiment of his Fear of Apparitions , against the next Night ; therefore they prepared the Chamber for their Design , and invited some of their Friends , on purpose to make the old Gentleman drunk ; which having effected , he was carefully carried to Bed , and three or four Statues , out of the Garden , convey'd up into his Room , and placed on each side and corner of his Bed , with People behind 'em to flash and make lightning , to discover to him these imaginary Spectres . All things being in this Order , a Mastiff Dog , with a great Iron Chain , was let into the Room , the ratling of which , in a little time , waken'd the old Gentleman , who began to pray very heartily ; but Fear still prevailing , as in Despair , made him think to get out of the Room , when he heard the Noise on the other side of the Room , the most distant from the Door . On his first Motion to rise , the Person behind the Image flash'd with his Lightning , and discover'd a white pale Ghost to the frighted Miser : So he started back into his Bed again , and thus he was serv'd on each side till in Despair , and ready to die with Fear , he cou'd scarce utter so much as one Prayer . Then he heard a Voice with a thousand Terrours and Threats , demand him , he having taken the price of his Soul in the Money he had removed : The old Man replied , with a thousand Crosses to guard himself , That the Money was in such a place , and that he wou'd surrender not only that , but his own too , to be at ease . When they had thus got the Knowledge of the place where the Treasure was hid , they easily , in the Fear he was in , convey'd away the Statues , and left all things in Order , as if nothing had happen'd ; and repairing to the Garden , found the Money , but took no more thence but what they had before put there .

The next Day , the old Gentleman sends for them to his Chamber , ill with the Fright , and lets 'em know , That he had thus long been in an Errour , in setting his Mind on hoarded Bags , which ought to be plac'd in Heav'n at his Years ; but having had various Warnings against it , he now resolv'd a new Life , and in order to that , wou'd immediately settle his Affairs . So he divided his Estate equally betwixt them ; and having found his own Sum of Money left , as he thought by the Devil , he gave a third part to charitable uses , and divided the other betwixt his Sons , and retir'd to a Monastery , where he soon made a very Religious End .

The Sons having , by these means , gain'd their Point , did not long deferr the Happiness for which they undertook this ; and thus was my Friend Lucilla , and her Cousin , made the most fortunate of our Sex , if Love and Money cou'd make 'em so .

But I have been too long in this to add some pleasant Adventures of my own , which I must defer till the next Opportunity , having only room enough left to subscribe my self your Friend and Servant ,

I Have strove often to tell you the Tempests of my Heart , and with my own Mouth scale the Walls of your Affections , but terrified with the Strength of your Fortifications , I concluded to make more regular Approaches , and first attack you at a farther Distance , and try first what a Bombardment of Letters wou'd do ; whether these Carcasses of Love , thrown into the Sconces of your Eyes , wou'd break into the midst of your Breast , beat down the Court of Guard of your Aversion , and blow up the Magazine of your Cruelty , that you might be brought to a Capitulation , and yield upon reasonable Terms . Believe me , I love thee more than Money ; for indeed thou art more beautiful , than the Oar of Guinea , and I had rather discover thy terra incognita , than all the Southern incognita of America : Oh! thou art beautiful in every part , as a goodly Ship under sail from the Indies . Thy Hair is like her flowing Pennons as she enters the Harbour , and thy Forehead bold and fair as her Prow ; thy Eyes bright and terrible as her Guns , thy Nose like her Rudder , that steers my Desires , thy Mouth the well-wrought Mortar , whence the Granado's of thy Tongue are shot into the Gun-room of my Heart , and shatter it to pieces ; thy Teeth are the grappling Irons that fasten me to my Ruin , and of which I wou'd get clear in vain ; thy Neck is curious and small , like the very Top-mast Head , beneath which thy lovely Bosom spreads it self like the Main-sail before the Wind ; thy Middle's taper as the Bolt-sprit , and thy Shape as slender and upright as the Main-mast ; thy Back-parts like the gilded carv'd Stern , that jets over the Waters , and thy Belly , with the Perquisites thereunto belonging , the Hold of the Vessel , where all the rich Cargo lies under Hatches ; thy Thighs , Legs , and Feet , the steady Keel that is ever under Water . Oh! that I cou'd once see thy Keel above Water ! And is it not pity that so spruce a Ship shou'd be unman'd , shou'd lie in the Harbour for want of her Complement , for want of her Crew ! Ah , let me be the Pilot to steer her by the Cape of good Hood , for the Indies of Love . But Oh! Fair English Woman ! Thou art rather a Fireship gilded , and sumptuous without , and driven before the Wind to set me on Fire ; for thy Eyes indeed are like that , destructive , tho' , like Brandy , bewitching ; Alas ! they have grappl'd my Heart , my Fore-castle's on fire , my Sails and Tackling are caught , my upper Decks are consum'd , and nothing but the Water of Despair keeps the very Hulk from the Combustion , so you have left it only in my Choice , to drown or burn . O! for Pity 's sake , take some Pity , for thy Compassion is more desireable , than a strong Gale when we are got to the Wind-ward of a Sally-Man ; your Eyes I say again , and again , like a Chain-shot , have brought the Main-mast of my Resolution by the Board , ●ut all the Rigging of my Discretion and Interest , blown up the Powder-Room of my Affections , and shatter'd all the Hulk of my Bosom , so that without the Planks of your Pity , I must inevitably sink to the Bottom . This is the deplorable Condition , Transcendent Beauty , of your