MONICA is better known by the branch of her issue , then root of her parentage , and was born in or nigh Tagasta in Africk . * * August . confess . lib. 9. c. 8. Her parents , whose names we find not , were Christians , and carefull of her education , committing her to the breeding of an old maid in the house , who , though herself crooked with age , was excellent to straighten the manners of youth . She instructed her with holy severity , never allowing her to drink wine , or between meals . Having out-grown her tuition , she began by degrees to sip , and drink wine , lesser draughts like wedges widening her throat for greater , till at last ( ill customes being not knockt , but insensibly scru'd into our souls ) she could fetch off her whole ones . Now it happened that a young maid ( formerly her partner in potting ) fell at variance with her , and ( as malice when she shoots draws her arrow to the head ) called her Tos-pot , and drunkard ; whereupon Monica reformed her self , and turned temperate . Thus bitter taunts sometime make wholesome Physick , when God sanctifies unto us the malice of our enemies to perform the office of good will .

After this was she married to Patricius , one of more honour then wealth , and as yet a pagan ; wherein she brake S. Pauls precept , To marry onely in the Lord . Perchance then there was a dearth of husbands , or she did it by her parents importunity , or out of promise of his conversion : and the history herein being but lamely delivered us , it is charity to support it with the most favourable construction . He was of a stern nature , none more lamb when pleased , or lion when angry ; and which is worse , his wild * * August . confess . lib. 9. c. 9. affections did prey abroad , till she lured them home by her loving behaviour . Not like those wives who by their hideous outcries drive their wandring husbands farther out of the way .

Her own house was to her a house of correction , wherein her husbands mother was bitter unto her , having a quarrell not so much to her person as relation , because a daughter in law . Her servants , to climbe into the favour of their old mistresse , trampled on their young , they bringing tales , and the old woman belief ; though the teeth of their malice did but file her innocency the brighter . Yea at last her mother in law , turning her compurgatour , caused her sonne to punish those maids which causelesly had wronged their mistresse .

When her neighbours , which had husbands of far milder dispositions , would shew her their husbands cruelty legible in their faces , all her pitying was reproving them : and whereas they expected to be praysed for their patience , she condemned them for deserving such punishment . She never had blow from , or jarre with her husband , she so suppled his hard nature with her obedience , and to her great comfort saw him converted to Christianity before his death . Also she saw Augustine her sonne , formerly vitious in life , and erroneous in doctrine ( whose soul she bathd in her Tears ) become a worthy Christian , who coming to have his eares tickled , had his heart touched , and got Religion in to boot with the eloquence of S. Ambrose . She survived not long after her sonnes conversion ( God sends his servants to bed when they have done their work ) and her candle was put out , as soon as the day did dawn in S. Augustine .

Take an instance or two of her signall piety . There was a custome in * * August . confess . lib. 6. c. 2. Africk to bring pulse bread and wine to the monuments of dead Saints , wherein Monica was as forward as any . But being better instructed that this custome was of heathenish parentage , and that Religion was not so poore as to borrow rites from Pagans , she instantly left off that ceremony : and as for pietie's sake she had done it thus long , so for pietie's sake she would do it no longer . How many old folks now adayes , whose best argument is use , would have flown in their faces , who should stop them in the full career of an ancient custome .

There was one Licentius a novice-convert , who had got these words by the end , Turn us again , O Lord God of hosts : show us the light of thy countenance and we shall be whole . And ( as it is the fashion of many mens tongues to echo forth the last sentence they learnt ) he said it in all places he went to . But Monica , over-hearing him to sing it in the house of office , was * * August . lib. 1. De ordine , c. 8. highly offended at him : because holy things are to be suted to holy places ; and the harmonie could not be sweet where the song did jarre with the place . And although some may say , that a gracious heart consecrateth every place into a Chapell ; yet sure though pious things are no where unfitting to be thought on , they may somewhere be improper to be uttered .

Drawing near her death , she sent most pious thoughts as harbingers to heaven , and her soul saw a glimpse of happinesse through the chincks of her sicknesse-broken body . She was so inflamed with zeal , that she turned all objects into fewell to feed it . One day standing with S. Augustine at an East-window , * * August . confess . lib. 9. c. 10. she raised her self to consider the light of Gods presence , in respect whereof all corporall light is so farre from being match'd , it deserves not to be mentioned . Thus mounted on heavenly meditations , and from that high pitch surveying earthly things , the great distance made them appear unto her like a little point , scarce to be seen , and lesse to be respected .

She died at Ostia in Italy in the fiftie sixth yeare of her age , Augustine closing her eyes , when through grief he had scarce any himself .

HAving formerly described a good Wife , she will make a good Husband , whose character we are now to present .

Maxime 1 His love to his wife weakeneth not his ruling her , and his ruling lesseneth not his loving her . Wherefore he avoideth all fondnesse , ( a sick love , to be praised in none , and pardoned onely in the newly married ) whereby more have wilfully betrayed their command , then ever lost it by their wives rebellion . Methinks the he-viper is right enough served , which ( as * * Plin. Nat. hist. lib. 10. cap. 62. Pliny reports ) puts his head into the she-vipers mouth , and she bites it off . And what wonder is it if women take the rule to themselves , which their uxorious husbands first surrender unto them ?

2 He is constant to his wife , and confident of her . And sure where jealousie is the Jailour , many break the prison , it opening more wayes to wickednesse then it stoppeth ; so that where it findeth one , it maketh ten dishonest .

3 He alloweth her meet maintenance , but measures it by his own estate : nor will he give lesse , nor can she ask more . Which allowance , if shorter then her deserts and his desire , he lengtheneth it out with his courteous carriage unto her ; chiefly in her sicknesse , then not so much word-pitying her , as providing necessaries for her .

4 That she may not intrench on his prerogative , he maintains her propriety in feminine affairs : yea , therein he follows her advice : For the soul of a man is planted so high , that he overshoots such low matter as lie levell to a womans eye , and therefore her counsell therein may better hit the mark . Causes that are properly of feminine cognizance he suffers her finally to decide , not so much as permitting an appeal to himself , that their jurisdictions may not interfere . He will not countenance a stubborn servant against her , but in her maintains his own Authority . Such husbands as bait the mistris with her maids , and clap their hands at the sport , will have cause to wring them afterwards .

Knowing she is the weaker vessell he bears with her infirmities . 5 All hard using of her he detests , desiring therein to do not what may be lawfull , but fitting . And grant her to be of a servile nature , such as may be bettered by beating ; yet he remembers he hath enfranchised her by marrying her . On her wedding-day she was like S. Paul free born , and priviledged from any servile punishment .

He is carefull that the wounds betwixt them take not ayre , 6 and be publickly known . Jarres conceald are half reconciled ; which if generally known , 't is a double task to stop the breach at home , and mens mouths abroad . To this end he never publickly reproves her . An open reproof puts her to do penance before all that are present , after which many rather study revenge then reformation .

He keeps her in the wholsome ignorance of unnecessary secrets . 7 They will not be starved with the ignorance , who perchance may surfet with the knowledge of weighty Counsels , too heavy for the weaker sex to bear . He knows little , who will tell his wife all he knows .

He beats not his wife after his death . 8 One having a shrewd wife , yet loth to use her hardly in his life time , awed her with telling her that he would beat her when he was dead , meaning that he would leave her no maintenance . This humour is unworthy a worthy man , who will endeavour to provide her a competent estate : yet he that impoverisheth his children to enrich his widow , destroyes a quick hedge to make a dead one .

I Intend not to range over all his life as he stands threesquare in relation , Husband , Father , Master . We will onely survey and measure his conjugall side , which respecteth his wife .

We reade not that ever he upbraided her for her barrennesse , as knowing that naturall defects are not the creatures fault , but the Creatours pleasure : all which time his love was loyall to her alone . As for his going in to Hagar , it was done not onely with the consent but by the advice of Sarah , who was so ambitious of children she would be made a mother by a proxie . He was not jealous of her ( though a grand beauty ) in what company soever he came . Indeed he feared the Egyptians , because the Egyptians feared not God ; suspecting rather them of force , then her of falsenesse , and beleeving that sooner they might kill him , then corrupt her .

Yet ( as well as he loved her ) he expected she should do work fit for her calling . Make ready quickly three measures of meal and knead it . Well may Sarah be cook , where Abraham was caterer , yea where God was guest . The print of her fingers still remain in the meal , and of crumbling dow she hath made a lasting monument of her good houswifry .

Being falsely indited by his wife , he never travers'd the bill , but compounded with her on her own terms . The case this . Hagar being with child by Abraham , her pride sweld with her belly , and despiseth her mistresse : Sarah , laying her action wrong , sues Abraham for her maids fault , and appeals to God . I see the Plaintiff hath not alwayes the best cause ; nor are they most guilty which are most blamed . However Abraham passes by her peevishnesse , and remits his maid to stand or fall to her own mistresse . Though he had a great part in Hagar , he would have none in Hagars re●bellion . Masters which protect their faulty servants hinder the proceeding of justice in a family .

He did denie himself to grant his wives will in a matter of great consequence . Sarah desired , Cast out this bondwoman and her sonne . Oh hard word ! She might as well have said , Cast out of thy self nature and naturall affection . See how Abraham struggles with Abraham , the Father in him striving with the Husband in him , till God moderated with his casting-voyce , and Abraham was contented to hearken to the counsel of his wife .

Being to sacrifice Isaac , we find not that he made Sarah privie to his project . To tell her , had been to torture her , fearing her affections might be too strong for her faith . Some secrets are to be kept from the weaker sex ; not alwayes out of a distrust , lest they hurt the counsel by telling it , but lest the counsel hurt them by keeping it .

The dearest Husband cannot bail his wife when death arrests her . Sarah dies , and Abraham weeps . Tears are a tribute due to the dead . 'T is fitting that the body when it 's sown in corruption should be watered by those that plant it in the earth . The Hittites make him a fair offer , In the chiefest of our sepulchres bury thy dead : But he thinks the best of them too bad for his Sarah . Her chast ashes did love to lie alone ; he provides her a virgin tombe in the cave of Machpelah , where her corps sweetly sleep till he himself came to bed to her , and was buried in the same grave .

HE beginneth his care for his children not at their birth but conception , giving them to God to be , if not ( as * * 1. Sam. 1.11 . Hannah did ) his Chaplains , at least his Servants . This care he continueth till the day of his death , in their Infancy , Youth , and Mans estate . In all which ,

Maxime 1 He sheweth them in his own practice what to follow and imitate ; and in others , what to shun and avoid . For though The words of the wi●e be as * * Eccles 12.11 . nayles fastened by the masters of the Assemblies , yet sure their examples are the hammer to drive them in to take the deeper hold . A father that whipt his sonne for swearing , and swore himself whilest he whipt him , did more harm by his example then good by his correction .

2 He doth not welcome and imbrace the first essayes of sinne in his children . Weeds are counted herbs in the beginning of the spring : nettles are put in pottage , and sallads are made of eldern-buds . Thus fond fathers like the oathes and wanton talk of their little children , and please themselves to heare them displease God . But our wise Parent both instructs his children in Piety , and with correction blasts the first buds of profanenesse in them . He that will not use the rod on his child , his child shall be used as a rod on him .

3 He observeth * * Give● each child a part , Versteg . O● decayed intell . cap 3. Gavel-kind in dividing his affections , though not his estate . He loves them ( though leaves them not ) all alike . Indeed his main land he settles on the eldest : for where man takes away the birth-right , God commonly takes away the blessing from a family . But as for his love , therein , like a well-drawn picture , he eyes all his children alike ( if there be a parity of deserts ) not parching one to drown another . Did not that mother shew little wit in her great partiality , to whom when her neglected sonne complained that his brother ( her darling ) had hit and hurt him with a stone , whipt him onely for standing in the way where the stone went which his brother cast ? This partiality is tyrannie , when Parents despise those that are deformed , enough to break them whom God had bowed before .

He allows his children maintenance according to their quality : 4 Otherwise it will make them base , acquaint them with bad company and sharking tricks ; and it makes them surfet the sooner when they come to their estates . It is observed of camels , that having travelled long without water through sandy deserts , * * Plin. Nat. Hist. lib. 8. c. 18. Implentur cum bibendi est occasio & in praeteritum & in futurum : and so these thirsty heirs soak it when they come to their means , who whilest their fathers were living might not touch the top of his money , and think they shall never feel the bottom of it when they are dead .

In choosing a profession he is directed by his childs disposition : 5 whose inclination is the strongest indenture to bind him to a trade . But when they set Abel to till the ground , and send Cain to keep sheep ; Jacob to hunt , and Esau to live in tents ; drive some to school , and others from it ; they commit a rape on nature , and it will thrive accordingly . Yet he humours not his child when he makes an unworthy choice beneath himself , or rather for ease then use , pleasure then profit .

If his sonne prove wild he doth not cast him off so farre , 6 but he marks the place where he lights . With the mother of Moses , he doth not suffer his sonne so to sink or swim , but he leaves one to * * Exod. 2.4 . stand afarre off to watch what will become of him . He is carefull whilest he quencheth his luxury , not withall to put out his life . The rather , because their souls , who have broken and run out in their youth , have proved the more healthfull for it afterwards .

He moves him to marriage rather by arguments drawn from 7 his good , then his own authority . It is a style too Princely for a Parent herein , To will and command , but sure he may will and desire . Affections like the conscience are rather to be led then drawn ; and 't is to be feared , They that marry where they do not love , will love where they do not marry .

8 He doth not give away his loaf to his children , and then come to them for a piece of bread . He holds the reins ( though loosely ) in his own hands , and keeps to reward duty , and punish undutifulnesse ; yet on good occasion for his childrens advancement he will depart from part of his means . Base is their nature who will not have their branches lopt , till their bodie be fell'd ; and will let go none of their goods , as if it presaged their speedy death : whereas it doth not follow that he that puts off his cloke must presently go to bed .

9 On his death-bed he bequeaths his blessing to all his children : Nor rejoyceth he so much to leave them great portions , as honestly obtained . Onely money well and lawfully gotten is good and lawfull money . And if he leaves his children young , he principally nominates God to be their Guardian , and next him is carefull to appoint provident overseers .

HE is the heart in the midst of his houshold , primum vivens et ultimum moriens , first up and last abed , if not in his person yet in his providence . In his carriage he aimeth at his own and his servants good , and to advance both .

He oversees the works of his servants . Maxime 1 One said that the dust that fell from the masters shooes was the best compost to manure ground . The lion * * Plin. nat. Hist. lib. 8. cap 16. out of state will not run whilst any one looks upon him , but some servants out of slothfulnesse will not run except some do look upon them , spurr'd on with their Masters eye . Chiefly he is carefull exactly to take his servants reckonings . If their Master takes no account of them , they will make small account of him , and care not what they spend who are never brought to an audit .