I Know very well that you have often advis'd me against the Hurry , and Extravagance of the Town , and I know that your Advice was the result of not only your Friendship for me , but also of your real Sentiments , that is , of Reason : Nay , I am extreamly sensible how often you have silenc'd me , when I have ventur'd to engage with you on this Subject , and that you prov'd beyond Controversy , That the preference ought to be given to a sedate and thoughtful Life : Yet , when I am absent from you , I know not how it comes to pass ▪ Whether by my forgetfulness of your Arguments , or my inclinations to converse , and company , the force and vigour of your Reasons vanish ( for The words in which they were couch'd , I 'm sure I still retain ) which makes me flatter my desires , that it was rather the Awe of him that spoke , than the matter of the Discourse that perverted ( for so ●ow I call it ) my Opinion . Back'd with these Considerations , methinks I may own that I am relaps'd from those Resolutions you left me , and that I fancy I have some Difficulties in Dispute , which you have not yet decided ; this makes me begin to imagine , that you are in the wrong to despise Conversation so much , since without doubt it polishes that imperfect Model of a fine Gentleman ; which Books but begin , and generally leave very rough , and unfinished . Conversation does not only give us a better taste in Reading , but also improves our Thoughts to a good Practicable Habit , and our Words , and Discourse to a greater Elegance than all the stiff and laborious Trifles of the plodding Academics ; and I must tell you , Friend , that you your self wou'd never have been master of all that fineness of Sense , if you had not in your Youth been much conversant with the better part of Mankind .

Nay , I must proceed farther , and own , that the lighter Sallys of Youth appear not so criminal to me , as your nicer Reason represents them ; 't is true , I have not forgot what you us'd to urge against them , viz. That however diverting they might seem to those engag'd in a fond Attachment to 'em , yet that their apparent Folly render'd them not only ridiculous , but odious to the more considering part of the World , and that it was impossible they cou'd give real Satisfaction and Pleasure to a reasonable Man , being commonly the effect of a hot-headed Rashness , begot by the prevailing Fumes of the Bottle , when Reason has bid 'em good night , and thought less Accident assum'd the direction of all their Actions . Yet my Friend , you must pardon me , if I tell you , That as Fables of Cocks and Bulls , &c. seem but an odd sort of Divinity , or Philosophy , to employ the Thoughts of a man of sense , which yet have always had such a valuation with the Learned for their Morals , that it has given a Life to Aesop , almost thrice as long as that of Methusaleh ; so ●tho the Extravagances of Witty Youth may seem but odd Lessons of Wisdom , yet I am sure there is not one without its excellent Moral , if that be but improved by a judicious Reflection ; by this you 'll find , I include not the Adventures of e'ry noisy Fop , or Bully , but of the Youths of true Witt , of which Sir , I can say with some assurance my conversation is composed , whose worst Extravagancies come not short of the practical Precepts of your old Friends the Lacedemonians , in making their Slaves drunk for the instruction of their Youth , who by that sight cou'd gain but one half of the Knowledge that was requir'd to make them understand all the inconveniences of Drunkenness ; they saw indeed what a ridiculous Figure the poor intoxicated Wretches made , but they knew not but that it gave them a sufficient pleasure to recompence that appearance of Folly which was often put upon the Noblest of Actions of the Wisest of Men , they might have heard that the Abderites thought Democritus mad , when he was imployed in the search of Nature in the ●issection of Animals , till Hyppocrates convinc'd them , by the Authority of his Word , of the contrary ; besides many a man wou'd run the risque of looking like a Fool , for an hour or two , to enjoy a Pleasure for twice the time ; especially an unexperienc'd pleasure , which is always magnify'd by Imagination . But if they had been permitted to be drunk themselves , the Pain and Sickness that attended it , would have instructed them , that it was none of the most desirable of Pleasures ; the other punishments that are the consequences of this Vice , which wou'd have deter'd them from it , were wanting , that is , the spending of Estate , which brings the boon Companion to contempt and Infamy ; for the Slaves of Sparta were made drunk at the publick Charge .

But not to dwell too much upon the Vindication of the worst of our Crimes , and which we our selves condemn , and are very seldom guilty of , I will by sending you a Relation of one of our Frolicks , convince you , that we make a better use of our extravagances , than you do imagine ; and that they proceed from choice , not accident : For while your Virtuos● are poring over the unaccountable Secrets of Dame Nature , we are busy in searching into full as intricate a Subject ; The Humours , and Nature of Men , while they are conversing with Labour and Study , with the Mineral , Vegetable , and Animal Kingdoms , our pleasure leads us in chase of the Secrets of the Rational World : Their Studies may have the Face of more harmless Innocence ; but I 'm sure , our Delights are more profitable , and more to the purpose of Living . They are like our Travellers who ramble abroad to see Foreign Countries , before they know any thing of their own ; for your great Naturalist will seldom arrive to any knowledge in Man , and in Conversation , and in the Affairs of the World wou'd merit that Name in its worst sense . Mankind walks in a mist , and cannot be seen at a little distance ; you must keep close to it , or you loose sight on 't , at least till you have got a competent Knowledge to secure your self from the Assaults which are continually offer'd to the Innocent , that is , the Ignorant part . No man almost is what he appears to be ; we are all Ianus's and have two or more Faces in all our Actions , as well as Designs , as you 'l find by what I send you , which is part of those Letters which our Club in a frolick made bold to borrow of the Post. Perhaps you 'll condemn our Frolick of a fault in prying into the Secrets of our Neighbour , and in doing them some damage in detaining those Letters from them , which perhaps requir'd a speedy dispatch , a minute being many times critical and irreparable ; as to the first , my Friend , I must answer you , 't is but a Vulgar Error●that makes that a Crime ; for e'ry man ought to live so as not to be ashamed of his most secret Actions , and deserves to be exposed when he deserts that Justice or Wisdom which he stickles so much for in the Actions of others , without regard to them in his own . As to the second , I must inform you , that what Letters we found of that nature that had an honest End in the speed they requir'd , we took care to send as directed ; the others I now by common consent make publick , to save them the trouble of writing again on the same subject , if they have not by their impatien●e prevented our Civility .

But before I present you with the Letters , it will not be altogether undiverting to give you an account of the whole matter in the very manner it sell out , and like a State Historian give you the Causes as well as the matter of Fact .

You may remember the Weather was lately very wet , and transform'd the Summer into an excentric Winter , which made very much for the advantage of H●ckney-Coach-men , and Vi●tners , obliging us to retreat to the Hospitable Bottle , when the inclemency of the Weather had driven us from all the Divertisments of the Season . Among others that chose to wash their in-sides with better Liquor than Heav'n wash'd their outsides , our Club , tho prorogu'd till next Winter , made an extraordinary Sessions .

And here it will not be improper to gi●e you some Account of what Number our Club is compos'd , the Muses are Nin● , and therefore we have eq●al'd that number in the Membe●s of our So●iety , adding ● Tenth to complete the Kingdom of Wit , having ●●ill one as , President , or Apollo of the rest ; but his Dignity , like the rest of humane Conditions , is 〈◊〉 short and transitory ; for he is e'ry ●ight succeeded by a New ●lection , for our State being jealous of her Liberties , wil allow no longer time , for fear Ambition shou'd creep even into our ●reasts , and so aiming at Tyranny , disturb our Repose and Tranquillity . This is the admirable Policy of our Common-Wealth , not inferiour in my Opinion to any of the mighty Republicks of Old , or the ●esser busy Ones of the fresher Date . Now have I a strange fancy , that you won't be satisfy'd unless you know the Names of our Members too ; and therefore I 'll save you the labour , and my self the expence of a Letter upon that Subject . These are they , Mr. Temple , Mr. Church , Mr. Chappel , Mr. Grave , Mr. Brook , Mr. River , Mr. Fountain , Mr. Summer , Mr. Winter , and your very humble servant Timothy Weleter . Thus in full House we met by the same cause and occasion I have mentioned already .

But our Delight being not down right drinking , like some of those walking Tunus of good Fellows that are never in their Kingdom , but when the Pint Bumpers are chased about the Table without intermission , as if their Pleasures consisted in nothing else but to see whose Cask was best hoop'd , or held most ; nor the rambling and impertinent Discourse of senseless Rake-hells , and politick Citts , when they Roar , or Chirp over a Bottle ; there was a motion therefore made concerning some Adventure , which might afford us business during this sitting , but not yet coming to a Resolution , Mr. Chappel pulls a Letter out of his Pocket , which he said he had just receiv'd by a mistake , as the Contents discovered ; it being sent to another of the same Name , who often frequenting the same Coffe-house , gave occasion to the deceiving of the Porter . This other Gentleman to whom the better belong'd of right , was known to all our company , and had in the esteem of the World the Reputation of a man of great severity of Life , both as to Justice in his Dealings , and Chastity , which indeed his Age wou'd endeavour to persuade , unless the lewdness of his Mind out-liv'd that of his Body ; but this Letter discover'd him to be a Secret Sinner against both . It was from a Young Girle of a small Fortune , who being committed to his charge by Will , he had not only cheated her of the greatest part of it , but very earnestly sollicited her to yield her tender budding Beauties to his shrivel'd Embraces , building his assurance of success on her Necessities , which he had brought upon her , by depriving her of the means of redress in keeping her to so small an Allowance , that she co●'d not procure mony enough to purchase Friends , or Justice against him . Her Parents had given her a Vertuous Education in their lives time , or at least so well instilled good Principles into her , that they were not easily corrupted by the importunities of this Old Man , whose seeming Piety had gain'd the Tutelage of her from her deluded Parents , who it seems were too simply good to examine farther than the outward appearance , which sometimes in Religious Pretenders ought to be understood , like Dreams , by contraries . The Letter I 'll defer till we come to the rest , where you shall be sure to meet with it , only I shall here give you some Reflections we made upon it , which gave Rise to the Frolick I have mentioned .

As soon as we had perus'd the Letter three or four times over , that we might be sure of what we read , Mr. Chappel ▪ cou'd no longer contain , but propos'd to the compan● to relieve the distressed Damsel , that nothing cou'd better deserve the thoughts of true Knights of Honour , and Members of Chivalry . Whether he were serious or no , I won't determine ; but Mr. Temple was of another opinion , assuring him the season of the Weather was not at all proper ●or Feats of Arms , Rain bein● a great Enemy to Noble Atchievements ; for then must the Knight skulk unde● a Hedge , for fear of wetting his Armour ▪ or spoiling his Plume . Mr. Church was of the same opinion , adding , That nothing was more agreeable to the doing of Justice , than Fair Weather . Mr. Grav● waving all these Jocular Reflections , was for considering what use might be made of this Discovery for the present advantage of the Company , which he back'd with this Observation . That the World being a Masquerade , where borrow'd Vizors so disguised e'ry one , that none knew ev'n his own acquaintance , if not privy to his dress ; Letters were the pulling off the Mask in a corner of the Room , to shew one another their Faces . Very well observed , said Mr. Fountain , for we are apt to write that in a Letter to a Friend , which we would not have all the World know of , either our Concerns , or Inclinations . Thus , said Mr. River , we find Cicero , that in publick had extoll'd Caesar above all the great men before his time , making him not only the Father , but the Soul of his Coun●ry , without which it cou'd no longer live , yet in his Epistles to his Friend Atticus , not only rails at him , but declares that his Royalty ( as he enviously phras'd it ) wou'd not be of half a years continuance . We need not go so far as Old Rome for a proof of this ( pursu'd Mr. Brook ) for 't is obvious enough to any man that has convers'd in the world , and given himself the trouble of diving into Affairs of this nature , as my Friend here — Hold — ( interrupted Mr. Summer ) if my Transgressions must be known , I had better generously declare 'em my self ; you must therefore Gentlemen , know that dining at the Mitre about a Week ago with some grave Relations , who love to get drunk by Day-light , I had got my load by four in the Afternoon , that is , as much as I car'd to drink , or cou'd carry off with Honour , and without a Foil ; I gave the Old Gentlemen the slip , and leaving them to Politicks , and Vsury , steer'd my course to seek out one of you ; going down St. Martins-lane , there justles me a blundring Fellow in great haste ; I unable then to put up such an Insolence , with my trusty stick laid my Gentleman o're the Pate , who being stunn'd let fall his ●acquet of Letters ; ( for you must know it was the Post-man ; ) a sudden Revenge inspir'd me ; I cap'd hold of as many as I cou'd , whipt into the next Coach , and made him drive away as if the Devil were in him , to Iack Brooks Lodging , whom I found in his Study reading of Voiture of the second Edition , I mean the Gentleman of six Foot high , as he ingeniously intimates to a glorious Vizor-mask . Prythee Iack , said I , cast aside this new Paradoxical Dogmatist , and here let us peruse Nature ; and having here in its proper place I inform'd him of this Adventure , then in comes Ned Winter , and puts me to the fatigue of repeating it again , which done , we apply'd our selves to our business , and upon occular demonstration found five of the six Letters to be of some of our Acquaintance : But such a Discovery we made , that it surpriz'd us with several effects of Passion , one laugh'd , the nother swore , and the third preach'd . There were she Saints that had the Word of God in their mouths mornings , and evenings , most religious frequenters of Pews , and wearers out of Hassocks , found to be back-sliding Sisters , and that they had the Devil in their Tails . There was this protesting Friend , found a damn'd Rascal , that sought nothing but his own advantage , with the Wife of him he hug'd in his Arms , only caressing him that he might embrace her .

For my part , Gentlemen ( said I ) 't is not fair , you shou'd only enjoy the Pleasure your selves , you ought either to produce your Letters for the good of the Company , or be particular in your Names , and account of the matter . No 'faith ( return'd Winter ) I made the Rogues have that Justice to write a Line of Advice under each Letter , and sealing 'em up , send 'em by the Penny Post to the place directed .

I know not ( pursu'd Temple ) whether you 'l approve of my Thought or no ; but I think we cannot have a more agreeable Entertainment , than such another Frolick , the Posts are now on the Road , let each man to his Horse ; and two in a company go upon the Adventure , and having got our purchase , meet all at the Bull-head , and divert our selves with the Scene of Hypocrisy uncas'd .

Gentlemen , for my part ( said Winter ) I am not extreamly fond of the Pillory , Gallows , or a swinging Fine : Nor do I think the pleasure this Adventure may afford us , will recompense the hazard we run to obtain it , especially since we are not us'd to the Pad . I am of your side , ( pursu'd Grave ) for tho I shou'd not be much displeas'd with the perusal of them , yet I am not for giving more for pleasure than 't is worth , or for laughing for an hour , at the expence of an Age of Sorrow .

But these two Opposers were fain to acquiesce in the Judgment of the Company ; and tho● perhaps I might encline to the Opinion of the few , yet having a great Veneration for the Clergy , I chose to imitate them in siding with the strongest side . Things being thus concluded in the Affirmative , we immediately adjourn'd , and in the order above-mentioned , took Horse , perform'd our work , and met at the place appointed : River and my self were the first that entred , and had not toss'd off our sober Pint , but Brook and Winter came in all over-bespattered with dirt . Thus by degrees we found our Company complete , tho' Summer and Temple , and Church and Chappel stay'd some time after the rest . We gave order for our Horses to be immediately rub'd down , and cloath'd , and thought it wou'd be safer to retreat to our several Lodgings , and new dress , before we proceeded to our Examination , or an account of our Adventure , all the Pacquets being convey'd to my Chamber , and there to be put into a great Box or two , that we might convey 'em ●p the Water to Summer's Country-house , where with the greater liberty and security we might peruse them , and make our several Remarks .

By that time we were all ready , his Barge was waiting for us , and in it , with our purchase we row'd for Putney against Tide , which however turn'd for us by that time we got to Chelsey . And now we began to have time to run over each his several Fortune . But the greatest part of us met with nothing worth taking notice of , having done our work as decently , as if we had serv'd a long Apprentiship to the Road. But poor Winter and Brook having a little awkardly perform'd , and left the Post-boy his Horse , were ●ain to make more speed than they desir'd , and so through thick and thin were most neatly bedabl'd . And Temple and Summer , not contenting themselves with the Mail that was coming in , resolv'd to wait for that which was outward-bound , and had like to have spoil'd all for their Works of Supererogation ; for the first Post-boy being according to Art dismounted aside of Illford in Essex , in the Forrest , they left him to take care of himself , whose Horse was gone on his Errand before him toward London . After this they be thought them , that e'ry day was P●st downward on that Road , and therefore resolv'd , flush'd with good success , to venture to Chadwel , and there wait the coming of the other Post ; but having stay'd a good while there to no purpo●● , they boldly set forward on the Road for London ; they had not rode half a mile but they met the other Boy with two Gentlemen ▪ however , they ventur'd on them , and whilst Summer remov'd the Mail , T●mp●e secur'd the Sparks ; but one of them whilst he was busy with the other , got by him , and made full speed back to Illford , which made them immediately strike over into the Forrest , and away crossing into Epping Road , as fast as their Horses cou'd bear them ; but not being very perfect in the way , were oppos'd in their Passage with a pretty large Ditch , which was not so deep as muddy ; Temple's Horse jumpt clear over , but Summer's Rising False came a little short , and so tumbled into the Ditch : This scurvy Adventure , cost them above a quarter of an hour to disengage him , and his Horse , from these ill circumstances , which they cou'd not very well afford at that time , not doubting but by this time the Country were in pursuit of them . On which account being now mounted again , and on firm ground , they redoubled their speed , and spight of two or three other little Accidents , they got safe to the rest of us .

Chappel and Church who had taken the Kentish Road , met with no disturbance , but came cleverly off with their Prize by a very remarkable Accident , the two Post-Boys meeting , just as they came up to them , they did their business at once , and so brought away both the Mails , tho' by riding further out of Town than the rest , they made it something the longer before they return'd to the place of Rendezvous .

Having laugh'd , and run over our several Adventures , we got safe to Putney , by twelve a Clock at night : And then being all tir'd enough with the Fatigue of the day , we retir'd to our Beds . And get●ing up next morning very early , we retreated into the Summer-house in the middle of the Garden , and there enclosing our selves with some Bottles of good Wine to give us a Whet betwixt whiles ; we began to open our several Pacquets , and according to Agreement , for our better diversion , we mixt them all together on the large Stone Table there .

I Receiv'd yours yesterday by your man Ra●ph , in which I am extreamly troubl'd to find that you still persist in your Resolution of my undoing . But assure your self 't is not all your Threats shall make me yield to your brutish Desires , and I question not but God will so far vindicate my Innocence and punish your Hyppocrisy , as to raise me some Friend to rescue me from your hands . But if you can entertain such an Opinion of my Vertue , to think I wou'd part with it on the terms you propose , can you imagine I wou'd make so wretched a choise , as to sacrifice it to the Arms of an Old Man , when Nature has given me a Face not the most contemp●ible , and one that need not dispair of more agreeable Conquests . Pray now consult your Glass , if you forget your Age , and there you 'l see what wondrous Charms there are to win a fair Ladies ●eart . For shame , for shame , Mr. Chappel give o're such vain Thoughts , and now you are just dropping into your Grave , think not of adding to the Villanies of your Life , by betraying that trust my poor mistaken Parents so entirely repos'd in you , as not only to wrong her of the small Fortune they left her , but also , endeavour to rob her of her Honour . 'T is not your keeping me to such hard meat will do ; for I have now a prospect of Relief , and of bringing you to your just punishment . Your Knaveries to me have made me enquire into those things , I else shou'd ne're have thought of , which the more I do , the more I find your Guilt encreas'd ; and the more hopes I have of satisfaction for the Injuries you have done me . But it is not yet too late to do me Justice ; restore me my Fortune , and I promise to forget all that 's past , who shall then with some colour subscribe my self , but not till then ,