Discourses useful for the vain modish ladies and their gallants under these following heads, viz. I. Of some of the common ways many vertuous women take to lose their reputation, &c. II. Of meer beauty-love, &c. III. Of young mens folly in adoring young handsom ladies, &c. IV. Of the power womens beauty exercises over most young men. V. Of the inconstancy of most ladies, especially such as are cry'd-up beauties, &c. VI. Of marriage, and of wives who usurp a governing power over their husbands. VII. Of the inequality of many marriages, with the sad end that usually attend such matches. VIII. Against maids marrying for meer love, &c. IX. Against widows marrying. X. Against keeping of misses. XI. Of the folly of such women as think to shew their wit by censuring of their neighbours. XII. Of the French fashions and dresses, &c. XIII. Of worldly praises which all ladies love to receive, but few strive to deserve. XIV. Useful advices to the vain and modish ladies, for the well regulating their beauty and lives. By the right honourable Francis Lord Viscou

THE FIRST DISCOURSE , Of some of the common ways many vertuous Wives take to lose their Reputation , tho' they keep their Chastity ; being vertuous in their inward Intentions , but indiscreet in their Talk and outward Actions ; and Men judge by what they see , not by what Women say they mean .

I Shall not here , Reader , pretend to present you with the Sum Total of the numerous and various Ways , many handsom Women take to be ill talk'd of , for that I am sure would be a Task as much above my Power to write , as I fancy 't would be above , your Patience to read ; and he that can perform that great work , must need at least a Prophet's Knowledge , and a Job's Patience ; and truly I pretend to neither : Nor have I so much as a Thought of undertaking singly to tell you all the Faults , Arts , Deceits and Indiscretions of all Wives , much less of all Women , since I fancy if all the Husbands in the whole World were assembled in one general Council , they could no more sum up all their Wive's Faults , than cure all their Vices ; for Miracles are ceas'd to the whole World , but the Papist , of whose Faith , I thank God I am not of : But of this opinion I am , that 't is sufficient for every Married Man to carry his own Burden and Proportion , in the Matrimonial Yoke , with Discretion and Patience ; which latter is a Vertue , their Wives will be sure to make them practise , if they be not more fortunate , than the generality of Husbands are , and I think ever will be , if one may judge of the future by the present .

I shall name but few , and write but little of the many , and several ways , diverse virtuous ( I do not say discreet ) Wives take to be ill talked of , and shall here skip troubling you with a Character of a vile sort of scandalous Wives , that are commonly known , and publickly branded for such , who have , by their wicked Lives , render'd themselves so contemptible , as they are to be us'd by all vertuous Women , as we do persons infected with the Plague : We are not bound to go see how they do , but we are oblig'd to avoid coming where they are , both for our own sake , and the sake of others ; and to remember to observe Solomon's good Advice as to a vertuous Woman's carriage towards an ill scandalous Woman , Remove thy way far from her , and come not near the door of her House .

These are a sort of beastly Women , that take upon them the vile employment of common censuring , and publick rayling at all strict Vertuous Women , arming themselves with downright Impudence , having lost all their shame with their Vertue ; for they that part with the one , soon casts off the other : And because they have render'd themselves contemptible by their ill Lives , they strive to make good Women appear bad by their foul Tongues , scandalizing the Vertues by all the ill Reports they can invent , being like those Solomon names , Who cannot sleep without having done some mischief , being so abominably bad , as their very Parents ( for Friends they have none ) want Confidence to excuse them , and they Impudence to justify themselves . These Herd of beastly Women , the Vertuous are bound in Charity to pity their bad Condition , but in Prudence to shun their ill Company ; and so I 'll leave them with a red Cross on their Door , and a Lord have mercy on their bad lives .

The first sort of Wives I shall here name , and but name , are a kind of Wives that have the Happiness to be thought vertuous by many , but the Unhappiness to be esteem'd vain and indiscreet by most ; they are careful to keep themselves Chast , but careless of what others say against their being so ; and because they think they do no ill , value not what ill others say they do , which is but a sad sort of Logick , and an ill way of managing their Reputation ; since tho' a Wive's Innocency may satisfy her own Conscience , yet it cannot protect her Husband's Honour , nor secure her own , since publick Censure may blemish both , if an outward discreet carriage doth not prevent : Therefore , doubtless , a Wife , who is truly vertuous , and truly desires to be esteem'd such , is as much concern'd in Honour to keep a good Name , as she is bound in Conscience to lead a good Life ; and the Wife which in point of Reputation , values little what others say , seldom care ; much what she her self doth , for what bad Censures she casts on others , or others cast on her ; and a Wife or Woman of that ill Temper usually loves more to commit a hundred faults , than to repent of one , or be told of any ; never considering that a handsom Woman's leaving a Vice , argues no defect in her Body , but a vertuous inclination in her Mind : For the very best Women in the World are subject to Faults and Errors , as well as the worst , tho' not so much ; and with this great difference , That a pious Woman Sins against her Will , a wicked Woman with it ; in the first 't is but the effects of the Frailty of humane Nature , in the second 't is the foul Issue of vicious Inclinations and habitual Practice . Therefore , 't is worth such Womens still carrying in their Mind , this useful Memorandum , That 't is always a bad Act , to commit an ill Thing ; but never an ill thing , to repent a bad Act ; the first being the Disease , the other the Remedy .

'T is a certain Truth , That all bad Women deserve Censure ; and , 't is as great a Truth , that many good Women undergo bad Censures , tho' they do not deserve them ; many young Men dealing with handsom Women's Reputation , as Pilate did with our blessed Saviour , condemn him , tho' he ownd ' be found no Fault in him . Indeed the very Air of this Kingdom is so infected with the Nauseous Distemper of Censuring , as I fancy 't will be as impossible to stop all ill natur'd Tongues from Censuring , as to stop all handsom Women's Eyes from stirring in their Head , or their Blood from running in their Veins ; for as long as they move , busy Censurers Tongues will stir .

Therefore , the best and most likely way I know to prevent others speaking ill of them , is , for them not to speak ill of others ; for if they do what they ought , you are unjust to Censure them ; and if they do what they ought not , you are unkind to do it ; since none can do an ill Act , without being punish'd by the very Act of doing it ; and , therefore , by the Rule of God ; Nature and true Charity , pious , vertuous Women , ought rather to be troubled , than pleased for the Faults of others , since she that is not , doth in some degree , make others Faults her own : As on the other Hand , she that shews Charity to a Man , doth good to her self , by doing good to him ; for Charity to another is Charity to ones self . A vertuous Wife may certainly say , she her self is vertuous ; but she cannot truly say such a Man's Wife is unvertuous , except she certainly knows she is so ; and all know that most Reports are false : But I am sure this is a great Truth , That tho' a Wife be never so vertuous , yet she ought to be most strictly careful , to prevent all others from thinking her the contrary , and to shun provoking ill Tongues , as well as committing bad Deeds ; since many a good vertuous Woman's Reputation has been by others false Tongues sadly blasted , and render'd unfortunate , tho' her Life and Carriage has been truly far from being Scandalous or undeserving ; so that no Woman ought to be so over-puff'd up with the inward knowledg of her Vertue , as to slight the outward Care she ought to take , and the prudent Means she is oblig'd to use to make all think her vertuous ; for tho' she be never truly such , yet she ought to take the same care , and use the same means and method to plant a good Reputation in the World , as good Gardners do in setting their Trees in Earth ; let the Ground be never so good and rich , which is , not to plant them too deep , for then they 'l rot ; nor yet too shallow , for then they 'l burn ; so that a mean between both is to be us'd in the very best Ground . So a Woman , tho' never so vertuous , ought not to place so deep a value on her own Reputation , as thereby to undervalue that of others ; nor so debase herself and lessen her own Character , as to plant too shallow an Esteem on her own Worth ; for then all others will be sure to do the like by her own Example ; very reasonably concluding , That she ought best to know her self . This is a way many a vertuous Woman takes to injure her good Reputation ; for she that will despise and censure others , must expect , and will find , that others will despise and censure her .

There are another sort of Wives , tho' inwardly vertuous , yet outwardly so overflow with Pride , Vanity and Ambition , as they are so very malicious as to despise all below them , and hate all Persons above them ; which is a wicked Humour as to others , and an uneasy one as to themselves . These Women , because some of their Neighbours Beauty is perhaps greater , or their Quality higher , or their Estate larger , or their Equipage richer , or their Wit quicker , or their House-keeping nobler , and the like ; these , because they cannot reach to their high rate of Life , condemn and censure their way of living as very bad , vain and extravagant ; and because they cannot live as splendidly as they do , give out , they do not livers prudent as they ought to do : And because these envious Women are themselves too proud , give out , that their Neighbours are so too ; and by their unjustly and enviously cersuring their Pride ( meerly upon the account of their own ) it often inflames , and causes , or rather forces , their great Neighbours to condemn their Folly in so doing , and perhaps their Chastity to boot ; and so to occasion many others to speak ill of them by their Example : For Persons of high Quality and great Reputation , their Censures , like Bullets shot out of great Guns , they carry farther , and pierce deeper than out of a lesser size , tho' of a much better Mettle ; the lesser must submit to the greater . Fertil Plains are not the worse , tho' they are commonly overtopt by barren Hills .

This is a usual way that many good Women make others censure their Vertue , meerly out of Revenge , ( a Fountain many ill and scandalous Streams flow out of ) and thus by their indiscreet Carriage and malicious Reports , and censuring others good Name , they lose their own , by causing others to condemn and censure them ; by which vain practice they are still like to come by the worst , which made Solomon rank among worldly Vanities , That a Man should not contend with one that is mightier than himself , Eccles. 6.10 .

There are another kind of vertuous Wives that occasion their being ill talk'd of , and Sacrifice their Reputation , because they will not follow the Manners and Fashions of the Country they live in , and those of Quality they are Neighbours to , being so vain , proud , and foolishly Self-conceited , that because they cannot be allow'd a Pattern to all , scorn to follow the Examples of any , tho' of higher Degree , larger Fortunes , and much better Reputation and Esteem than themselves .

I shall here name but one Example of the many I could give you , in order to convince you , That all Persons are oblig'd by the Rules and Order of civil Society , Prudence , and well and easy living , to follow the Manners , Customs and Dresses of the Country they live in , and of the best and most esteem'd Families they accompany with , and are Neighbours to ; and this one Example I shall take out of France , because it shall be stampt with the best , at least most currant and modish Authority in the World . And , in that Kingdom , 'T was in my time , and I believe still is , among Persons of Quality , near as great a scandal for a Lady to suffer a Man to sit on her Bed , as to admit him to lie in it . As for instance : I remember when King Charles II. liv'd with Queen Mother in Paris , a French Gentleman , of good Quality and great Estate , fell desperately in love with an English Lady , so as to desire to Marry her ( which I count Desperate Love ) and the Queen Mother had in a manner made up the Match ; but , by an unfortunate accident ( I mean only for the Lady ) a near Kinsman and Friend of hers and Counsellor in all her concerns ( excepting those of her private Amours ) came purposely out of England to assist her in setling her Jointure , and other Marriage concerns ; and this Kinsman of hers , ignorant of the nice Punctilio's of the French Ceremonies , did ( that he might the more easily hear her , and she him , he not knowing , nor she not remembring , how scandalous 't was for a Man to ) sit on a Lady's Bed , ( which is no very strange thing in England , where it may be done without the least harm , tho' it cannot in France , without the greatest scandal ) but unfortunately this Lady's Lover came in to visit her , at the very nick of time that he was sitting on her Bed , and the Monsieur seeing a Man sitting on her Bed , was so surpris'd at the Sight , and scandaliz'd at the Action , that tho' the Man's great Age had been of it self a sufficient Antidote against his Jealousy , especially knowing how near of Kin he was to her , and how few days he declar'd staying with her , yet , the Monsieur , without using any Words , or taking any Consideration , immediately left her and her Chamber , and could never be persuaded to return to her again . This is only to mind you , That the Custom of a Kingdom makes Rules and gives Laws in it's own Dominions , which no Woman ought to break , if she desires to keep her Reputation whole . And that Woman that knows she shall lose her Reputation , if she will admit a Man to sit on her Bed , in my Opinion , deserves to lose her good name for doing it ; let the Action in it self , and her intention as to her self , be never so innocent .

But this severe Custom in France is nothing in comparison to the Severities , or rather Cruelties that are generally practised in Italy , by Husbands towards their Wives ; for , there , all young Gentlewomen are kept and bred up in a strict Confinement , in Nunneries , till married ; and , when they are so , are kept but a kind of Prisoners in their own Houses : So that all the Writ of Ease a Maid gets by marrying , is , but the exchanging one Prison for another , which renders them the more eager after liberty ; as penn'd up Rivers swell for being confin'd , and run more violent when they get their freedom , for having been debarr'd of it , and hinder'd from their natural Course ; so most of these imprison'd Wives are kept chast by their Husbands strict confine ment of them , and careful watchfulness over them , rather than by the Motions of their own natural Temper , or vertuous Inclinations .

But for my own part as I utterly detest the Severities Husbands use to their Wives in Italy , so I do not altogether approve the great Freedoms that many Husbands do allow their Wives in England , ( or their Wives will allow themselves ) some Husbands granting them such large Ranges of Liberty , as they , by it , often shew more alonfidence in their Wives , than Discretion in themselves : Since a large liberty , without a suitable proportion of prudence to well manage it , often causes high Extravagancies , and foul Excesses ; and therefore , I believe , as many Husbands have made their Wives dishonest by too much mistrusting them ( for Revenge is very sweet and natural to Women ) so I also believe some Wives have been made dishonest by their Husbands too much trusting them : Opportunity often makes a Thief , which had not perhaps been a Thief , but for the opportunity . The Italians have a certain way of reasoning , as to the securing their Wives , by saying , That no Wife can be dishonest without an Opportunity to be so , ( Time and Action being inseparable ) therefore , say they , ever keep your Wife from an Opportunity , and you will ever keep her honest . But God forbid that all Men that have opportunity should be Thieves ; or that all Women that allow Men Opportunity , should allow them Enjoyment . For tho' the Italians say as true , That there can be no Enjoyment without Opportunity , so the English say as true , That there may be Opportunity , without Enjoyment . I Remember in Rome , upon a discourse with an Italian , of the great freedoms Wives were allow'd in England ; I heard him swear a great Oath , That he would not trust the great God with his Wife , when she was alone in Bed : And asked me , not only with a serious , but furious Countenance , if it were possible that strange Report could be true , That the Married Women in England had liberty to go abroad with Men , and to receive Visits from them in their Chambers ; nay , sometimes when they were in Bed ? I assur'd him , 't was very certain , That the Women of the highest Quality , greatest Esteem and best Reputation , do both go abroad with Men in their Company , and receive Men's Visits in their Cambers , and sometimes ; by Men , ( at the usual visiting hours , ) when they were in Bed , and by near Kindred at all times , and that this Freedom was allow'd by vertuous and great Women , to Men , without the least scandal ; for neerness of Kin , tho' it cannot greatly foul Actions , yet it can protect Freedoms . But for a Married Woman to admit the liberty to a Man that 's no way related to her self , Husband or Family ( except upon some good ground or extraordinary occasion ) argues , in my Opinion , great Weakness , and high Indiscretion , being a thing , I cannot with prudence approve , nor a Wife , I think , with discretion admit ; for tho' some may favour such a Freedom with an Innocent construction , yet others may brand it with a scandalous Interpretation ; and usually indiscreet Freedoms produce dishonourable Censures : And that married Man that allows young Gallants to visit his Wife more than ordinary , must allow Men to speak more than ordinary of her for it , or they will be sure to allow it themselves .

Therefore , a strict , vertuous Wife , ought seriously to reflect on the Hazard she runs , the Folly she commits , and the Dishonour she may suffer in her Reputation , by allowing a Man that 's unfitly qualified , so great a freedom . Now as an Antidote to prevent reacting the like Indiscretion , I shall advise that Wife that admits such Freedom to a Man at unvisiting hours , seriously to consider , and soberly to reason and argue with her self , by supposing that this her now dear Friend , she 's so fond of , and so much relies in , should chance to become her Enemy , and brag he has enjoy'd her ; ( for such things have been certainly done formerly , and may possibly be done again ) whether she can , after serious consideration and strict examination , satisfy her self , that she 's able in this case , to alledg more Reason , and produce better Arguments to justify her Chastity , than her Enemy can bring to accuse her Vertue , before unconcern'd and unbyass'd Judges .

Let her , therefore , suppose the worst of her late dear Friend , but now great Enemy , that he should swear , That he came often into her Chamber when she was alone in it in Bed , and that she order'd and assign'd him that opportunity and conveniency , that they might enjoy one another , as they then did ; and , to confirm the Truth of this Accusation , he says , she that was certainly so indiscreet as to allow the one , might possibly be so unvertuous as to admit the other ; and alledges his being alone with her , to back the Truth of what he now Swears , and to publish the Folly of that she then did ; and farther adds , That he can prove this her Indiscretion , by her own act . But she can never prove her Innocency , when they were so alone by her own Words .

Therefore , let her seriously reflect and consider , how weak and slight her Defence must be against her Enemies sworn Accusation , let her Wit be never so great , and her Innocency never so clear , since she cannot produce so much as one single Witness , to confirm the Truth of what she says , or to contradict the Truth of what he Swears , having only her own bare Word , and that in her own Cause , and to defend her own Honour , and Reputation , which she has expos'd to Censure , by the imprudent liberty she allow'd her then Friend , either on the account of her too little Wit , or too much Love , or at least too great want of Discretion and Consideration .

I suppose she may make to his Accusation , some kind of Defence of this nature , That in the first place , for his accusing her of suffering him to visit her at unusual visiting hours , when she was alone in her Chamber in Bed , that part she does not deny , because she cannot well do it ; says , 't was never but once , and that once was meer accidental . Secondly , At the time he so visited her , he swore he was , and she verily believed him to be an honest Man and her real Friend , as well as her long and intimate Acquaintance . Thirdly , She takes God , The Searcher of all Hearts , to be her Witness , that she did not then , or ever before or after , act any thing with him in Thought , Word or Deed , that was not truly vertuous and purely innocent , which his Heart knows to be a real Truth , as well as he knows , what he swears to the contrary , to be an errant malicious Lie . And , Lastly , she says , That scandalous Reports against Women of Quality and Reputation , ought only to be credited by sober and prudent Persons , but according to what they see themselves , and not according to what they hear from others ; because 't is in the power of any wicked Man , to raise and cast scandalous Reports on the most vertuous Woman in the World . All this I grant a Woman may alledge in her own Defence and Justification , which I cannot esteem much , because she could not well say less .

First , as to his Accusation of her suffering him to visit her when she was alone in Bed at unusual visiting hours ; as to her Answer , that 't was altogether undesignedly , and accidentally , and that 't was never but once , and that she was fully resolv'd it should never be so a second time .

To this part of her Justification it may be answered , That granting the Judges should take her own bare Word , ( For she can give no more , that what she says is a real Truth ) yet it may be objected , That a Woman that will allow her self to do one act of Indiscretion , in her carriage towards a Man , it may be indeed a reasonable inducement to believe she may be perswaded to commit another . But to draw an Argument , that tho' she committed one act of Indiscretion , yet we are to credit her bare word , that she will never be brought to commit a second , is but a weak and an irrational Conclusion ; for if a pure sense of Honour and true Love of Reputation , regulates all a Woman's Actions , and Carriage towards all Men , ( as certainly it ought ) that Woman would never be so imprudent , as to allow one freedom to her favorite Friend , at any time , which she could not honourably own , and publickly justify at all times , and in all Places and Companies , in case her Friend should become her Enemy ; but indeed most Women are too apt to mistake the difference between the word Lover , and the thing Friend ; for they will have them to be both one and the same thing , when in deed they are very oft'n far from being so ; for tho' every true Friend must be a true Lover , yet every pretending Lover is not a true Friend , as many Ladies can Witness by woful Experience : But if Venus Love had then the predominant Power over her Inclinations , as it certainly has over many Women , towards the favourite Man of her present fancy , it may be better , and much more rationally argued , That the same amorous Inclination which at that time over-ruled her Discretion , by admitting him one freedom more than she should , might as well at another time over-power her Discretion by admitting him a second liberty more than she ought ; for she that commits one act of indiscretion , shews , by it , a probability that she may be prevail'd with to act a second ; but no impossibility against her being perswaded to commit a third .

Next , as to that part of her justification , That the Man that did visit her when she was alone in her Chamber in Bed , at an unusual visiting hour , 't was never but once , and that once was by one she verily believed to be her true , faithful Friend , as well as her long and old Acquaintance : But to this it may well be answered , That 't is very common for great Friends , to prove great Enemies , and often the greater Enemies , for having been great Friends ; as the Weight of a Pendulum Clock , falls the more backward , for being shoved the more forward : And this I am sure , that there can be no Friendship in the whole World , that is so loosely Tack'd on , as that between a Man and a Woman , on a meer Beauty Account , which must of course be destroy'd by Death , impair'd by Sickness , and may be broken in pieces by a Thousand Accidents : Witness that common one , of a Man growing to like another Woman better than his Mistress , or she to fancy another Man better than him , ( a common Fate that attends most Beauty-Lovers ) , and so they grow to dislike one another ; for great Beauty , tho' it often creates great Fondness , yet it seldom contains a long constant Love : For as Beauty is pleasing , so 't is Clogging ; and we know that the finest Sweet Meats , make the foulest Surfeits .

For there we find it very usual among our young Gallants , that tho' one of them has in a manner forsaken his Mistress , yet that Man cannot indure to see her Love another Man ; and 't is ten to one she cannot indure to be without another Man to Love ; and this creates Anger and Revenge in her first Lover , and perhaps provokes him to cast out Words that may highly reflect on her Honour ; ( so vile and ill-natur'd is our present Age , as most Men are much readier to revenge a meer fancied Injury , than to requite a real received Obligation . ) And if a Wife that allows a Man the freedom of visiting her , when she is alone in Bed ( at unusual visiting Hours ) will but truly own the secret Thoughts of her Heart , I am confident she cannot deny , but that one of the principal Motives that induced her to grant her Lover that imprudent Freedom , was much occasion'd on this vain and foolish account , That she hoped , by her allowing extraordinary Liberty to him , it would produce extraordinary Returns of Kindness to her : Which is but a simple Fancy , since that Woman that enlarges her Favours and Freedoms to a Man , beyond the just Bounds and Limits of a prudent , modest , and a decent Carriage , tho' that Man may in Heat of Blood , seemingly embrace them with an eager Fondness , and a passionate Delight ; yet if he be either a Lover of Vertue , or a Master of Reason , he cannot , but in his own Judgment , despise her for it , and conclude , by her granting such over-large Liberties to him , it savors more of hot Love , than true Friendship ; and he cannot but in reason judge , That as her present fond Love makes her now grant to him more Freedom than is decent , so she may in a little time as well shew more Kindness to another than is discreet : For Beauty-love cannot be built upon any settl'd firm Foundation , but on a Hill of Sand , which looks high , but stands weak ; nor is it rais'd and maintain'd by true Reason or pure Friendship , but rather hangs by Geometry ; that is , depends on a meer flashy , airy , amorous Fancy , as little durable as Summers Rain , or Winters Sun ; and therefore that Person she fancies most , she will be sure to love best , and be fondest of , and kindest to , during the present amorous Fit . And for that Wife , taking God , the searcher of all Hearts , to be her Witness , That she never acted with that Man that accuses her , any thing but what was truly Vertuous . Indeed she does well to take the God of Heaven to be her Witness , for she can have none on Earth , except the Man , that Witnesseth against her : And , therefore , I shall desire her seriously to consider , how is it possible to judge of a Woman 's inward Intentions , but by her outward Actions ; and if they be indiscreet , how can any justly say , her inward intentions are not so , since none can judge of the one , but by the other ? For we are to believe according to what we see , and not according to what we hear , or the Woman vows she means , which ( unless to God , the Searcher of all Hearts ) can be only known to her self , and consequently she can only be a credible Witness to her self , and not others , as to her own inward intentions .

Lastly , for the excuse she alledges , That it lies in the Power of any wicked Man to raise and cast scandals on the Reputation of the most Vertuous Woman on Earth , as that she admitted such a Man to visit her , when she was alone in her Chamber a Bed , when perhaps she never saw him out of it , much less he her in it , having never possibly heard his Name , much less knew his Person ; These kinds of Reports , I grant lie in the power of every wicked Man , to raise on any Vertuous Woman : But I deny 't is in the Power of every wicked Man , to make a Vertuous Woman say , she admitted him to visit her alone in Bed , when she never did ; and to own an indiscreet Act , which she never committed . Indeed I have known many wicked Men disown ill things that they have done ; but I never heard of a discreet Woman own an ill thing she never did ; so that I think it needless to write any more than , That I look upon such groundless scandals , so falsly rais'd , and shot at Random at a good Woman's Reputation , to be only able to shew a malicious Man's ill Nature , not justly to brand a Vertuous Woman's good Name . But I fear I have already not only writ too much , but too sharp on this Nice Subject ; therefore , I shall only give this good , tho old Advice , to all vertuous Wives , which is , still to use an Enemy , as if he may become a Friend ; and a Friend ( especially in love matters ) as if he may become an Enemy ; that is , a prudent Woman ought not to shew too much Kindness to the one , nor declare too fierce a Hatred against the other ; but to manage with Discretion and Moderation , her carriage to both , and to admit Piety , Vertue and due Consideration , to regulate all her Actions ; and she that observes these good Measures , will be sure never to admit any Person ( especially a Lover ) any private freedom which she cannot honourably own , and publickly justify .

Farther , a Vertuous Woman ought still to carry in her Mind , That she is bound to satisfy all Persons as to her Vertue , as well as her self ; others Tongues , as well as her own Heart . Nor ought a vertuous Maid , or Wife , to depend much upon her Lover's Vows or Oaths of a true and constant Love , and a perfect unalterable Friendship ; since most of their Vows and Love Oaths , being built upon fading Beauty , which is but a Sandy Foundation , their Friendship commonly moulders away , with the Beauty that created it .

I shall , therefore , advise all handsom vertuous Women not to depend much on their Lovers fair Words , but on their own good Actions , strict prudent Carriage , and pure Vertuous Life ; and she that observes these good Measures , will be sure not to shew too much Love or Hatred to any Man , nor ever expose her Reputation to her Lover's Humor ; since by so doing , she 's no longer his Queen and Mistress , but his Subject and Servant , by trusting her Humour into his Power , and what is worse , to his Mercy : And Solomon , the wisest of Men , gives Men this good advise , Advoid Suretyship , and you shall be sure : And the like Caution and Prudence also leads Women , not to be bound for , nor to trust in any Beauty-Lover's Oaths , for this good reason , That if you never trust him , he can never deceive you ; but if you do , he may : And as 't is natural for all Women to hope the best , so 't is discreet in all Women to fear the worst , and to arm themselves against others bad Tongues as well as against their own ill Acts. And as Discretion must ever be a great Vertue among Women so Indiscretion must ever be a great Vice ; for all it 's being a great Mode , I esteem Indiscretion to be much alike to Wickedness , as Covetousness is to Evil , which is not only an evil Root , but the Root of all Evil. So Indiscretion is not that sole Issue of one Vice , but the fruitful Parent of many , if not most . Now remember this , That tho' 't is possible that a Woman may be vertuous , and not discreet in some Cases ; yet 't is impossible in any Case , that a Woman can be indiscreet by being Vertuous , since Discretion is a part of Vertue .

I shall not here give it as a general Rule , without any Exception , That a Vertuous Woman must still make a fond Wife ; for Vertue is still the Gift of God , but a Husband is often the gift of a Father , and sometimes forced by him , and not chosen by her : And I will appeal to all Men and Women-kind , if this be not a great and real Truth , That a Wife 's liking and loving a Husband , must depend solely upon her own free Choice , and not upon her Father's Will : She may , indeed , obey what pleases him , but she cannot love but what pleaseth her self : Love is to be led , not drawn : Vertue may make her a good Wife , but Love can only make her a fond one , and Content a happy one .

Now tho' 't is certain , That natural Heat still works strong in all young Women's Temper ; yet 't is far from being certain , That Women's Love to their Husbands , does still work strong in all young Wives Minds ; for tho' a brisk Heat still waits on a Woman's Constitution , whilst she is a young Woman , yet a brisk Love to a Husband does not still attend a Woman's Inclinations , whilst she 's a young Wife : And the reason of this is plain , because often a Woman's Love and liking in the choice of a Husband , only springs from , and is but the bare Issue of her then first Fancy ; which , perhaps , had not the least mixture of good Reason , or true Consideration in its composure , but was meerly to gratify her passionate , amorous Inclinations ; and such a kind of Love , or rather Frenzy , is usually but like a Fire of Straw , which tho' it lights quick , and burns fierce , yet it consumes soon ; and this causes her Love-flame , to last no longer than her Love-fancy , which is usually but of a short duration , as well of a fickle composition : But the natural Temper of a young healthful Womans Constitution , its Operation may be of long Continuance , and must last as long as her youthful Health does : Whereas the fickle Love to the Husband of her meer Fancy , may possibly not last so long as her Youth , or Health either .

This is the Cause that many of the hot , fiery Venus-Brood of young Wives , love their Husbands more for the Mans sake , than the Man for the Husbands sake ; for the Man's part oft'n creates Pleasure , but the Husbands part oft'n occasions Trouble , which makes many of the young Mettle sort of Wives , to like well enough coupling with their Husbands by Night , who cannot , with Gusto , relish their single Company by day ; for they can then entertain themselves with sweet Variety ; which plainly demonstrates what kind of Divertisement such sort of Wives Love to their Husbands aims at , and is delighted in .

I shall not here venture to lanch my Discourse into the vast Ocean of Reasons and Pretences that there happens in Husbands loving or hating their Wives ; nor shall I here pretend in the least , to mark out the just bounds and true Measures that Husbands ought to use in the Trusting or Mistrusting their Wives Carriage in the Management of their Chastity ; only thus much I may safely write , That there must be great Care taken in raising or falling this Spring , that must turn this Engine ; for over-Liberty , or over-Watchfulness and Restraint of Husbands to Wives , are of such dangerous Consequences , that a Failure of the exact Proportions , and just Measures of either side , may prove of fatal Consequence . Therefore I shall only say , That a wise Husband ought to observe a moderate Care between both these Extremities , which is the most discreet and secure way ; and doubtless a politick Husband ought so warily and prudently to steer his Course , and soberly and carefully to manage his Carriage towards his Wife , as to avoid shewing too great a Jealousie of her , or granting too great a Liberty to her , lest the first may make her what she should not be ; and the second cause her to make him what he would not be .

But 't is more than time to beg your Pardon for having led your Thoughts as far as Italy , the Garden of the World , only to shew and entertain you with the worst Weed in it , which is the Husbands of that Countrey 's jealous and barbarous Usage of their Wives . I shall now conclude this Branch of my Discourse by only adding , That many Vertuous Wives cause many ill Discourses , and sharp reflecting Censures on their Reputation and good Name , by their being so vain , proud and foolishly indiscreet , as not to follow the Fashions of their Betters ; for doubtless there are Rules and Measures in the Manners of Dresses , as well as other Things , which Women , by the Rules of Discretion and Decency , and the Orders of Civil Society , ought to observe and follow , according to the general Practice , that such of their own Quality wear , and the Country they live in , use ; and the best and most vertuous Persons they are Neighbours to , those to be Followers of , and to make a strict Friendship with ; for men commonly judge of Womens Inclinations , by the Company they make choice of , and are delighted in .

There are another sort of Vertuous Wives , which is the last Sort I shall speak of , who , for all their great Vertue , will yet make a hard shift but they will be ill talk'd of : These are a nice , delicate , squeamish sort of Virtuous Wives , who are , ( or at least would have all think they be ) great Criticks , and strict Followers of all the Punctilio's that belong to , and are useful for the maintaining a pure and clear Reputation in this World , so as to deserve and preserve a high and vertuous Esteem of all Persons , fancying they justly merit all Mens Praises , and no ones Censures ; having such nice and curious Palates , in point of good Reputation , as they cannot indure the Scandal of allowing a Gallant ; but yet can , at the same time , suffer the publick Censure of Entertaining a He-Friend , as a dear , intimate and constant Companion ; and hope the good Name of Friend , will smother the bad one of Gallant . Indeed the Name of Friend , may serve as a Blind against a Wives own Fears , but it cannot still prove a Defence against others Tongues . So vile and censorious is our present Age , as most of our young Mens Discourses of hansom Women , are so very Satyrical , as they generally interpret young Men and Womens entertaining one another , to be but Courtship , that savors more of pure Venus-Love , than true Platonick Friendship ; and I can too truly say , before hansom Women can make all young Mens Courtship to pass for true Friendship , they must weed out of this Country all the busie , sharp , ill-natur'd Censures in it , who snatch up any Pretensions to worry and devour a Womans Reputation ; for they will tell you , That the pure state of Innocency was never but in one Woman , which was the first of her Sex , and will be the last of that Kind : And as it begun soon , so it lasted not long ; for it left her , before she left the World . Now it may be argued , That if the Nature of the Mother of all Women-kind , when she was in perfect Soundness and Strength , would then yield to an Enemy in Paradise , what may be now expected from her Daughters in this wicked World , and vicious Age ? If a Woman could stumble then in a pure Light , why should any wonder that many Women should fall now in this our Age of Sin and Darkness ? And if a Woman could not defend her self against one Tempter then , why may not many Women yield to divers Tempters now , that there are near as many young Men that are Seducers , as there are young Women that are hansom ? Especially considering in what a superlative Degree , Vice , Vanity and Idleness possesses most of them ; and that our vain Ladies Love to their Gallants , is now as very much in Use , as great Beauty is in Esteem , and strict Piety out of practice .

And if when there was but one Man , and one Woman in all the World , so that sweet Variety could not be then in fashion ; yet all know , That one Woman could not then be true to that one Man , but did deceive him , meerly for deceiving-sake ; for she could not then leave one Man for another , which is now grown a common Womanish Practice . Therefore it may be argued , That by the same Rule and Parity of Reason , That as the Woman did deceive the one Man , when she was in Paradise , so may many Wives now deceive many Husbands , whilst they are here out of it ; for as there are plenty of Eve's Daughters that still retain the Subtilty of their Mother , so there will be ever plenty of Adam's Sons that will still retain the Folly of their Father , and be beguiled by their Wives ; which is a Weakness and Distemper that 's now grown so common and infectious , as 't is like the Plague that reign'd so universally in Egypt , as it overspread the whole Land . And all our most Learned Doctors are so very weak and ignorant in the means of prescribing a Remedy for this Distemper to others , as they cannot so much as compose an Antidote against it for themselves , tho' they shou'd all joyn in a Consultation .

And as the World is now more increased in Men and Women , so 't is also in Sins and Vices , Women having a thousand Arts , Cheats and Allurements to decoy Men with , which were not known then , tho' commonly practised now . Therefore all Women , not only of the vain modish Brood , but of the most vertuous and pious Kind , are in Duty oblig'd to make it their constant Endeavours , and hearty Prayers to the Almighty , That he will please to repair the Defects of their Earthly Nature , by the Supplies of his Heavenly Grace , that the Strength of this latter may conquer the Weakness of the former ; and that as they are by Nature frail , and inclin'd to do what 's ill , so they may , through Gods Mercy , love to practise what 's Good , and to shake off the wanton and vicious Inclinations of the Flesh , to put on the heavenly Motions of the Holy Spirit , which will certainly make a Woman love God , and keep his Commandments ; which will give her a happy Content of Mind whilst she lives , and a blessed Peace of Conscience when she comes to die And I am sure neither a vain Life , nor a Fop of a Gallant , can ever bring either .

It may be farther ask'd , Where is the great Difference between a meer Beauty-Lover and a meer Gallant 's Friendship , when 't is only the Womans Beauty that creates and maintains the Gallant 's Love , and his false subtil Craft that nick-names his meer Venus-Love , by miscalling it real Friendship ? And as many vertuous Wives deceive and flatter themselves in the Title of their Lovers , by calling their Gallants their Friends ; so many Women are cozen'd in the Nature and Measures of their Love : They 'll tell you , and with reason too , ( a thing not very common among Women ) That 't is immodest and scandalous for a Wife to admit a Man to make Love and publick Courtship to her : But they 'll tell you at the same time , That a Wife is not bound to take notice a Man makes Love to her , till he tells her so ; which , in my Opinion , is a very senseless fancy , since that makes the fault of a married Womans admitting a Mans making love to her , not to consist in her receiving it from him , but in his telling it to her ; not in her suffering him to do it , but in his acquainting her , that he do's it .

Sure that Woman's Judgment must be very dull , and her Eye-sight very dim , that can be so grosly mistaken , as to fancy a Man's making love to her , is not to be taken notice of , by seeing it her self , but by her hearing it from him ; when 't is most certain , that the Eye is a much quicker and surer Witness than the Ear ; as may be observ'd in firing a Cannon , the Flame of the Powder comes to the Eye before the Noise of the Gun do's to the Ear ; and that Woman must be strangely dull , that cannot discern a man's amorous Looks , and passionate Actions , and Carriage towards her , that he is in love ( or at least pretends it by acting as if he were ) without his downright telling her he is .

A Woman may possibly hear , and yet not believe what she hears ; but 't is impossible she can plainly see , and not believe what she plainly sees ; for seeing is believing ; and if we should deny Sight to be a sufficient credible Witness , we must by it deny the Foundation of all Christian Religion ; for the Apostles seeing our Blessed Saviour's Miracles that he did in his Life-time , and both seeing of him , and conversing with him , after he was risen from the dead , is the great Security we have that he is so .

I grant 't is not in a Wive's Power to hinder a Man from liking , loving , and esteeming her ; but sure 't is in any Wive's Power to avoid receiving , or at least countenancing a Man's private Visits , and entertaining his publick Courtship . And really it cannot possibly enter into my Belief , how a Woman that 's certainly assur'd that such a Man loves her passionately well on the account of her Beauty , and who confirms it in all his Words and Actions , and by his high Concerns for her , and abundant Courtship to her , which she receives with great Kindness , Freedom , and Satisfaction , seeming to be abundanly confirm'd of his great and passionate Love , and that she cannot but be assur'd that he knows she knows so much ; and yet that I must believe at the very same time , that she can be so very fierce , and barbarously ill-natur'd , as if that Man she knows so highly loves her , should yet dare to tell her , he do's so , she should from that moment shun him , and forsake him : This , I confess , seems to me such a Paradox in Love , and is so extravagant , so extraordinary , and so highly impracticable , as 't is much fitter for all Mens Wonder , than any sober Man's Belief .

Therefore let such wild Romantick humour'd Ladies say what they will , I am sure all Vertuous Women are to consider , as they ought , which is , That few young Men make Love to a Woman ( I mean upon meer Beauty-account ) but on this score , that either he fancies she likes him , and so is inclin'd to be civil , if not kind to him , or he has some hope , that in time she will be both ; or else he must be a great Fool , eagerly to strive for that he never expects to obtain , and fiercely to besiege that Place he never hopes to take ; and so might as wisely build in the Regions of the Air , or employ his time in weighing of Flames , or making his study to answer Solomon's Question , What Profit hath he that laboureth for the Wind ? I am sure , if he thinks there may be some , Solomon thought there was none .

Really , I have often entertain'd my self with the Thoughts of what a strange Brood of Lovers our next Age will produce , considering the Temper of our present one , in which many ( I think I might have said most ) handsom Womens Pride , Vanity , Idleness and Inconstancy reign in them so powerfully , and is practised by them so commonly , as nothing is more common , except the Debauchery of their Gallants ; and how Excellent and Religious a Brood , Vice , Idleness and Vanity will produce , the next Age will be able to tell you more , if possible , than this : I 'm sure in this 't is become common ( I had almost said natural ) for most of our handsom Women to be more inclin'd to Vice than Vertue ; and for our young Men to be readier to speak ill than well of them , and to be more apt to credit all malicious Reports , than to search into any real Truths ; to believe what Men say , than to examine what Women do , and what Character they justly deserve . And if in their Love-Rambles , and Beauty-Chace they meet with a handsom Woman that 's truly vertuous ( which is a kind of Rarity ) they usually avoid her , because she is so ; and if they light on a handsom Woman that is unvirtuous ( which is far from being a Rarity ) they despise her for being such ; many of our young Gallants being grown such subtile Logicians in the Politicks of making love , as to form to themselves this manner of arguing , That a handsom Woman that can be perswaded to become too kind to one Man , may by the same Rule of Folly and Wickedness , be perswaded to grow too common to many . And as a virtuous Woman still carries in her mind the agreeable Satisfaction of doing what she ought to do ; so an unvirtuous Woman often carries in her Body the sad Effects for doing what she ought not to have done ; which great ill in some Women , often occasions some good in many Men , by terrifying them from acting that common English Sin , for fear of meeting that common French Punishment that usually attends it ; for many of our fine young Gallants , tho' they do not fear the Sin of the Act , yet they dread the Sting of the Disease ; the Pain of the Body here , tho' not the Torment of the Soul hereafter .

To conclude in a word , The present modish superficial Love of most of the fine young Gallants to their Mistresses , is become like our present Coin , which either is so false , or so clipt , as there remains little of its outward Size , or inward Value . So most of our young Gallants pretended Love to their present Mistresses is so falsified and debased by their brutish Lust , and unvirtuous Designs , as they only cry up Women for their Beauty , not Goodness ; most of them praising the latter , but in hopes to enjoy the former ; most valuing their Mistresses Bodies more than their Souls or indeed their own either . Therefore a young , Gallants swearing to his Mistress that he loves her as well as his own Soul , tho' it be a Compliment that sounds great , yet in effect 't is an Expression that means little , because he loves his own Soul so .

THE SECOND DISCOURSE , Of meer Beauty-Love , and of some of the vile Arts , and wicked Deceits many of our Young Gallants use to ruine their Mistresses Reputation , under a false Pretence of true Friendship ; and of the great Folly of such Ladies who delight in Censuring others , but slight all others Censuring them , because they fancy they do not deserve it , with some useful Advices thereon .

I Shall begin this Discourse with my Desire to to the Reader , that he will please to believe this great Truth , That 't is far from my Opinion to think there can hardly be a pure , virtuous and innocent Friendship between a beautiful young Woman , and a handsom young Man , except grounded upon a Marriage-account , or a near Relation-score ; for tho' I confess I esteem any other , some a-kin to a Rarity , yet I am far from believing it an Impossibility ; tho' I look on meer Beauty-Friendship to be very fickle and undurable in most , because it seldom lasteth longer than the Womans Beauty that createth it . But where a Friendship is justly grounded , well suited , and vertuously fixed , between a Man and a Woman , such a Friendship is certainly one of the greatest , and most lasting Satisfactions of this Life , since it may , and in some do's last as long as life it self , and is the high Advantage a rational Man hath over a Beast , who , tho' he can love a Companion to eat with , yet he cannot chuse a Companion-Friend to converse with , to rely in , and make use of . And I am sure none allows , nay , loves and esteems more a well-qualified Friendship than I do ; I mean such a sort of Friendship between a young Man and Woman , as is contracted and maintain'd upon a lawful and honourable Account , being founded on vertuous Addresses , as those of true Friendship , Kindred-kindness . Marriage-design , or for Obligations done to ones Family in general ; and Obligations of that nature , every one of that Family is to acknowledge as done to himself in particular , and accordingly endeavour a Requital , or upon any other handsom or lawful Account ; for doubtless a Friendship that 's vertuously qualified , and piously grounded , is altogether lawful and unscandalous , as well as highly satisfactory ; but my Design is here only to write against the common modish , and meer superficial Beauty-Friendship that our young Gallants usually have , or pretend to have for their Mistresses , springing out of a meer amorous fit , without any good Reason , or true Consideration ; growing up , Mushroom-like , on a sudden , and rais'd only by a sight of a handsom Face at a Play , Park , Court , &c. which sort of Love ( or rather Fancy ) for a Woman , I esteem to be only great , because her Beauty is so , he only loving her well , because she looks so . And sure none can deny , but meer Face-Beauty is shallow , frail , inconstant and undurable , being as very fading as the Complexion 't is much compos'd of , and chiefly illustrated with .

I wish this sort of Lovers would take into their serious Consideration , where 's the real Satisfaction a Gallant can any way propose to himself to take , in gazing on his Mistresses Beautiful Face , since at best , it can be but a momentary Eye-pleasure , a thing next to nothing , and as little lasting as 't is little worth ; so slight and sandy a Foundation is meer Beauty built on , it being indeed only a fine bright burnish'd Clay , inamell'd with pure white and red , which by many of our fine Ladies now a-days , is oftner bought with Money , than given them by Nature ; and do but unmask the Skin of one of their Faces , whether her Beauty 's bought or given , and 't will certainly at first sight prove loathsom to ones Eyes , and in a very little time noisom to the Smell , being only fit for nasty Worms , not fine Gallants .

Next let us suppose that an amourous young Gallant should be so prosperous and fancically happy , as by the Expence of much time , many Oaths , and the Trial of a Thousand costly Effays , to gain not only her free leave to behold her beautiful Face , but to enjoy her beautiful Person . In the first place 't is most certain , That a Beauty-chase after a handsom Face , is but like a Fox hunting Recreation , which tho' you follow never so eagerly , yet the pleasure lies only in the pursuit , not in the taking of the Game . Next , I shall desire the young Gallant to ballance with the Pleasures he enjoys , the many Troubles he must suffer by the several Fears , Doubts , Jealousies and vexatious Disappointments he must rencounter in the keeping and securing his new Conquest ; and sure there needs no stronger an Argument to prove both the uncertainty and difficulty of keeping his Mistress constant to himself , than the easiness he found in perswading her to prove inconstant to another ; for on the same score that she left another for him , she may leave him for another . Next I shall desire this Beauty-Lover but to look into common Experience , and 't will tell him , That as he will certainly be soon cloy'd with her Face , so he will be soon weary of her Body , since he loves the last , but for the first ; and sure no Man can be so ignorant in our wife , amorous and Romantick Age , as not to know that sweet Variety is now all in fashion , and that Love , like Beauty , cannot always last , because great Beauty it self never did , nor never can : And tho' most of our fine , modish Ladies are , as to the Gallantry of having a Gallant very constant , yet as to the person of one Gallant , most of them are very inconstant and changeable , because one suits not with sweet Variety , which is now become the common Mode , great Delight , and usual Practice of most young Gallants and their Mistresses .

Now last of all , and indeed what 's worse , and most strange of all , let us suppose that our young Gallant 's Mistress should chance to prove vertuous ( which indeed is a chance ) and is fully and unalterably resolv'd to continue still so ; then must our hot , fierce , fiery Lover's eager desire after the enjoying her , render his enflamed Heart , to be here on earth , as Dives his Soul was in Hell , tormented with a Thirst never to be quenched ; that is , whilst her Beauty lives , or till his Love dies ; and indeed , the best of it is , both are mortal , and neither long-liv'd . In a word , If we seriously search into the true Nature , and common Effects that meer Beauty-Love usually produces , we shall find 't is ordinarily accompanied with great Fears , constant Jealousies , and daily vexatious Disappointments , which this sort of Beauty-Love is usually attended on , tormented with , and commonly expires in .

And truly , Reader , 't is only this sort of noisom Venus-Love , and meer Beauty Friendship that I exclaim against , having , as I said before , no mixture of Marriage-design , Family-Obligation , well-grounded Friendship , or so much of Kindred-pretence , as that of a Welsh Cousin , to shelter and countenance their long Visits , and great Familiarity : But many Women fancy that the vertuous Name of Friendship excuse the scandalous one of Gallant , never reflecting on the vast difference there is in the Carriage between a true pure Platonick Lover , and a meer Beauty-Gallant's Friendship towards the Woman they pretend a real kindness to , and a concern for , since he that 's a Woman's true Friend indeed , must make it his main Business and great Care so to order all his Looks , Words and Actions that any way relate to that Woman he pretends and vows a true and vertuous Friendship for , as to avoid giving all Persons the least Occasion or Umbrage to suspect he has any Design to be esteem'd her Beauty-admirer , or pretended Gallant , which is a Title , a real Friend , on the account of his true Friendship , ought as much to avoid , as a truly vertuous Woman , on score of her good Reputation , ought truly to detest , since 't is an undeniable truth , That no Man can heartily loves a Womans Person , that does not truly love , and heartily endeavour to preserve her good Name , and make her Honour part of his own . Nay , I am farther of opinion , that no Man does love a Woman as a real perfect Friend , that does not love her Reputation as much as if she were his real Wife , that is , to be a true Partner , and joint-sharer , in her good and bad Fame : Whereas on the contrary , a meer amorous Gallant , is a Friend to a Woman meerly because she 's handsom , and only loves her , because her Beauty likes him , and so is a concern'd party , only as to her good or bad look's , not her bad and good actions ; therefore he uses all his Arts , and employs all his skill and endeavours , to accomplish his wicked ends on her , he so eagerly Courts ; and if her Piety and Virtue is so great as she will not suffer him to enjoy her , yet his wicked design is so vile , as to strive to make all Men believe he does it .

In a word , this is the great difference between a true Friend , and a Fop Gallant , the first makes it his real design and hearty concern , to preserve her Reputation ; whereas the Amorous Gallant , makes it his grand business and sole aim to destroy it : But most Ladies are so vain ( I had almost said foolish ) as to fancy they can defend themselves against all scandalous reflections on their Reputation by the great Strength of their Wit ; but really the strength of such vain Wit , springs often but from the Weakness of their Judgment ; therefore I shall Caution that Woman who depend so much on the greatness of her own Wit , to beware of two things ; the first , is , Not to rely too much on her own Wit : The second , not to depend too much on her Gallants Oaths ; lest both fail her : For indeed 't is very common for young Women to have a better opinion of their own Wit than they ought , and to place a greater confidence in their Lovers Oaths than they should , and so run into a double Error , by trusting their own Wit too much , and by mistrusting their Gallants Oaths too little .

Truly I have often observ'd , that many a young modest and bashful Woman when her Lover makes the first approaches , as to the besieging and gaining of her Heart , behaves her self as many young Soldiers do at their first coming to the Siege of a Town ; they are then fearful and cautious of all Shots made towards them , lest they should wound or kill them ; but after the Siege hath continued some time , and they are accustomed to hear the Bullets fly about their Ears , and to see Men fall dead at their Feet , tho' their danger is full as great at last , as at first coming , yet the Custom lessens their Fears , tho' not their Danger ; and those Shots , which at the beginning of the Siege , they shun'd out of discretion , they afterwards slight through long Custom . Indeed 't is much alike with many a modest and bashful young Maid , when her Lover makes his first approaches to the besieging and gaining her Heart ; at the beginning of the Siege , she 's very wary and fearful , blushing at every Praise her Lover shutes at her , or Compliment he makes to her , lest he should wound or destroy her good Reputation ; but after she has allowed her Gallants Siege for some time , and she s accustomed to hear his frequent Compliments , and Vollies of Oaths in her Praises , to fly commonly about her Ears , as they grow more usual to her , so she grows less fearful of them , tho' they are not the less dangerous for being the more common , and the more they are trusted , the more they betray ; for all know , a false relied on Friend , is worse than a declar'd Enemy ; for the first you lie open to , the other you arm your self against . When I see a young Gallant highly praising , and eagerly courting his Mistress ( I still except Marriage ) and that she seems much delighted in hearing his extravagant Romantick Praises of her great Beauty and high Perfections , it puts me in mind of a story in Aesop's Fables , of a Fox that saw a Raven upon a Tree , with a Bit in his Mouth , which the Fox had a longing desire to get , which put him a thinking and casting about what way he might , Cheat the Raven of it ; at last he concluded , there was no better nor more likely way , than to praise him out of it ; and therefore he told the Raven , he was a most excellent Bird , and fell upon extolling and praising the gracefulness of his Person , the beauty of his Feathers , his admirable gift in Augury ; and now , says the Fox , if you had but a Voice answerable to all your other excellent Qualities , the whole World could not shew such another famous Creature : These high Praises , and Nauseous Flatteries , so transported the Raven , as it presently set him upon opening his Mouth to try to Sing , and in that Essay he dropt the Foxe's desired Bit , which he presently run away with , and bid the Raven to remember , tho' he extolled his Beauty , yet he commended not his Brains .

Indeed 't is much alike , that of a young Gallants courting his Mistress , and his over-magnifying and extolling her Beauty ; usually all the design his great Courtship aims at , is only for the desired Bit of Enjoyment ; which he no sooner obtains , but he presently quits his Fondness for her , and Courtship to her , and runs away in the pursuit of some new fresh Conquest ; and in effect , says the same to the Woman , as the Fox did to the Raven ; tho' he did commend her Beauty , he did not praise her Wit , but now Laughs at her Folly to be so deceived .

The Moral of this Story is , That a Woman that can be so vainly foolish as to be brought to believe she is , what indeed she is not , may possibly , by the same Rule of Folly , be perswaded to do what she ought not to do ; and to admit her Gallant to Stuff her Mind so full of the Praises of her Beauty , as she has no room left , or time to spare , to think of Countermining her Gallants Plots against her Virtue and Reputation ; for as many Lights blind the sight , so many Praises dim the Eyes of many Womens Understanding and Consideration ; and whilst her Gallant Swears she 's the Possessor of numbers of Virtues and Perfections , she ought never to claim ; she neglects her Chastity , which she ought ever to keep , leaving the substance of pure Virtue for the shadow of vain Praises .

Now I have done the Story of the Craft of the Four-legged Fox , I shall begin to name the Folly of many fine handsom Ladies , that suffer themselves to be cheated by the vile Arts of another sort of Two legged Foxes , which the Men call Gallants ; but most of the Ladies that entertain them , esteeming the name of Gallant too course and scandalous , call them ( or rather miscall them ) their Friends : I wish I could say they were , by the Ladies , more known than trusted ; but indeed they are trusted , because not known .

This sort of Two-legged Foxes , are full as Crafty , altogether as Treacherous , and abundantly more Mischievous than the Four legged Foxes ; because these only worry the Bodies of poor small inconsiderable Creatures , meerly to satisfy their Hunger ; but these Two legged Foxes , called Gallants , often rot their Mistresses Bodies , and sometimes damn their Souls for ever , only to satisfy their present Lust .

I shall now a little glanse my Discourse on these Gallants usual way of advancing their Approaches towards the gaining , their Mistresses favour and esteem , that is , the liberty to ruin their Reputation ; for tho' most of our young Gallants are grown too crafty and well-bred , to tell them in plain down-right English , That their aim is to debauch and make them their Misses ; yet most of their designs and endeavours are such , whatsoever they say or swear to the contrary ; and therefore they use many Stratagems , and put on several Disguises , that if one fail , another may take , garnishing all their Discourses with great Oaths of a most passionate and most undecaying Friendship and Reality , and many such like Lovers Canting Expressions , which usually are as constant to one Womans Beauty , as the Wind is constant to one Point of the Compass ; and indeed , both are so Wavering and inconstant , as 't is able to make a sober unconcerned person , to swell as much with Laughter , as the Ladies Gallant does with Love , to observe what Arts he uses , what Stratagems he practises , what Pains he takes , what Oaths he makes , nay , what Oaths he breaks , to make his Mistress believe him , what perhaps he is not , ( for indeed few Gallants are ) real , constant , and virtuous Lovers ; for most of their Love-Oaths are not the true Issue of a pious , well-meaning , and unalterable Affection , but meerly the amorous and flashy effects of a lustful violent Passion which they use to screw themselves up into their Mistresses Favour ; which the better to obtain , they cry her up for the best Woman and truest Friend in the whole World ; That her beauty is charming , her Carriage Civil and obliging , her Converse most agreeable , her Wit quick , her Motions taking , which make all that see her admire and praise her , and all that know her , love and esteem her ; in a word , she s Mistress of all the Perfections of all Kinds , Degrees and Qualities , that belong to the compleatment of the most perfect of her Sex ; which makes her Gallant Swear , He is so far from being able singly to express all her Merits , as 't is not in the power of all the greatest Wits in the World together to extract out of the 24 Letters so many Praises as her Merits justly claim and truly deserve . Now her Lover hath told her what she now is ; his next part is to Swear to her what he now is , and ever will be , in all his Pretences and Addresses to her , which is , that they shall be all ever pure , innocent and unbyas'd , free from all Self-interest and ill Designs , or so much as any unhandsom Thoughts , and so takes upon him whether she will or no , or at least she knows not why , the officious office of serving her in all her concerns , that is , in serving himself ; for he designs they two shall be all one . This part I believe he means really ; but for that of his constant Love , and unalterable Friendship , tho' he Swears to its Truth a thousand times , yet as to that , I fancy he only deals with his Mistress , as a Cheat does with a Merchant , that is Fool enough to trust him ; he promises him any thing , because he resolves to perform nothing ; and defies the Ware he takes to be so bad , as the Payment he means to make . So these sort of Beauty-admirers , love in effect but after this rate , Vowing to his present Mistress , tho' he knows she hath crowds of Adorers , yet none of them are to be compared to him ; for he loves her not only above the World , but he love the World only for her ; Swearing to her , That what she dislikes , he hates ; what she loves , he is fond of ; and that her Will is his Will in all things ; he being to her just like Clay in the Potters Hand , which she may Work into what shape she pleases : These are his ordinary Protestations ( I do not say real Meanings ) and is the common Prelude to the Tune of his making love ( or rather practising deceit ) since usually all his large repeated Oaths only aim to make his Mistress to him , as a Wife is to a Husband ; which is , That they two should be but one Flesh , ( Marriage still excepted , for he will be to her Beauty , only a Tenent at Will , not for Life ; ) and in order hereunto , he ventures telling his Mistress , That the Tye of Friendship is much more natural and agreeable , than the dull heavy Chains of Matrimony ; for the first is made wholly and and soly by the Womans own voluntary choice , the other usually by the advice and persuasion of Friends ; nay , often by the terrible and powerful awe and threatnings of Parents ; and sure such a Match as is made up by fear or force , and no Love nor liking , a Wife cannot but esteem such a Husband , to be rather a Trouble to her Days , than a Comfort to her Life .

And now I name Marriage , give me leave by the by to tell you , in a word , my Opinion and Observation on Heiresses of great Estates , That they are generally more unfortunately married than other Women that have but small Fortunes ; because rich Heiresses , are commonly sold by their Guardians , or betray'd by their Kinsmen or Favorite Waiting-Woman ; for 't is a fatal consequence that usually attends great Heiresses , that because they have greater Fortunes than they really need , they must have less content , than they truly want , and must enjoy little Comfort , because they possess much Riches . And as many Heiresses are render'd unfortunate by having very large Fortunes , so many young Women suffer many fowl Censures for having a large proportion of Beauty ; whilst other Women , that are very far from being handsom , live very far from Scandals , tho' perhaps not free from deserving them .

And now Reader , I have mention'd a few of the many Arts and deceitful words , young Gallants use to deceive their Mistresses with ; give me leave but only to name a few of the ordinary excuses or rather justifications , divers of their Mistresses ( tho perhaps other Mens Wives ) alledg in their own Defence and Justification , and with them seem fully satisfied , tho' their Friends and Relations are far from being so , to whom they owe a respect and ought to have a concern for , tho' they receive no Maintenance from ; and when once an Amour between a Mistress and her Gallant comes to flame out , to publick view , and so makes common Discourse , it must come at last to her Friends and Kindreds Ears ; for they cannot but hear , what all speak aloud to her Shame , and their Discredit , which must make them troubled at it , and be much concern'd for her , tho' perhaps she s not in the least for her self , and therefore when her Friends and Kindred come to discourse and argue with her about it , and assure her , tho' her , Intentions be never so innocent and virtuous , yet her keeping so much Company with such a Man cannot but raise scandalous Censures and ill Reflections upon their Credit and her Reputation ; but she to this part of their Accusation , seems more incensed at what they say , than at what she does , and instead of sinking into a Fit of Repentance for her own Deeds , she swells into a Fit of Anger at their Words , in questioning her virtuous Life and discreet carriage , protesting she does not in the least deserve her Friends ill Opinion , or the Worlds bad Censure , and therefore says , she has good reason to exclaim against their unjust Jealousy of her , and sharp Language to her , vowing she never led but a pure innocent Life in all her Thoughts , Words and Actions with that Man they accuse her of , and condemn her for , there having never been other than a pure Platonick Love and Friendship design'd by her , and she verily believes intended by him ; and therefore , instead of excusing her carriage to him , she falls upon extolling and magnifying his great Civility to her , how obliging and friendly he still shewed himself in all her Concerns , on all Occasions , and that with much Frankness , high Discretion , great Reality , and abundance of Generosity ; and as long as his Visits were kept in the bounds of strict Virtue and true Civility , she cannot any way conceive , how her keeping company with him , can in the least bring a dishonour to her Self , or Family ; and therefore she ought not to be so barbarously ill-natur'd and ungratefully unjust , as to withdraw her harmless Conversation and justifiable Friendship to this her Friend , by forbidding him visiting her , since that were in effect to proclaim to the World the falseness of his Love , and the scandal of his Company , and by it all may conclude , That he has either spoke ill of her Reputation , or has acted some rudeness to her Person already , or that she hath reason to fear he will do it hereafter , and therefore has for bid him her Company , either upon the account of revenge for what s past , or by the way of prevention for the time to come ; therefore , I am clear of opinion , a Woman ought not to forbid an old Friend and Acquaintance visiting her , except it be upon one of these two nam'd Accounts , or else upon the score that she has reason to believe her Husband does not well rellish his coming so often to her ; and if that be the Business , if this her Friend be what he really pretends to be , and she seems to believe he is , he cannot justly take it ill that she freely tells him , That his visiting her so constantly , tho' their Converse be never so Vertuous and Innocent , yet she has some cause to fear , it has , or may , if long continued , raise her Husbands Dislike , and the Worlds Censure ; therefore , to prevent both , and secure her own Quiet , and good Reputation , she friendly desires him , for the future , to make his Visits shorter , and seldomer , to stop all busy ill-natured Censurers Tongues , and any Jealousies their malicious Twatlings might raise in her Husbands Mind : And sure if this her dear esteemed Friend truly deserves that Title , he must value her Honour as part of his own , and make her Content his Satisfaction , since she freely and heartily assures him , 't is not at all upon the account of her lessening her true Esteem and Friendship for him , but meerly to secure her Husbands Love and Kindness to her , that she desires this of him .

Next , I shall advise that Woman who stands so much on her inward Vertue , as to slight her Friends Advice , and the Worlds Censure for keeping her Friend so much company , seriously to consider , That 't is above the power of any Mortal , to dive into a Womans inward Thoughts , and that Men can only behold her outward Actions , not inward Intentions : For tho' Men can see her Lips move , when she whispers , yet they cannot tell , what she speaks when she does so . Much less are they able to dive into either of their Meanings ; for that 's so great a secret , as one of them may deceive the other with for all their Vows and Oaths of an open Heart , a true Love , and an unalterable Friendship .

I could name a thousand Arts , Slights and Deceits , that many Gallants use to their Mistresses , but I am sure I should sooner tire my Readers Patience with their great numbers , than by their great numbers to confirm his belief of their great Truth , except it be the Truth of their great Folly and vile Falsity ; for indeed most of the young Gallants of our present sober and Vertuous Age , do commonly in their Courtship to their present Mistresses , carry little Truth in their Heart , but many more Romantick Lies on their Tongues than Teeth in their Mouth .

And now , Reader , pray give me leave to change a little the Scene of my Discourse of the great Beauty of the Mistresses , to add a word of the great and wicked actings of some of their Gallants , who having tried all arts and means they could invent to gain their Mistresses Heart ( I still except Marriage ) and after all their Essays , find it so strongly fortified , and fully Garrison'd with Vertue and Piety , as they see it impregnable against all their Batteries and Assaults , so as to cast themselves into an utter despair of ever gaining their wicked ends on them ; I say , can any Man of common Sense , not think it full time for him to found a Retreat as to following their Persons , tho' he cannot leave admiring their Beauty ? Indeed I have ever observed that Importunity still breeds Trouble ; but I never heard , it ever created Love in a Mistress . Yet this sort of wicked , foolish Gallants are so indefatigable in the folly of their endless Pursuit after their Mistress , as they will not believe they hate them , tho' their Words and Actions declare their scorn and aversion to them ; but they will tell you , what s three Kicks of denial to a Lover that has read the Patience of Job , or the sober Temper of Seneca , or has often experimented the Inconstancy and Fickleness of an ill humored Mistress , which perhaps exceeds both ? And therefore , by way of Revenge he quickly resolves , rather than be publickly ridiculed for missing his aim , losing his time , and not gaining his Mistress , since he cannot enjoy her fair Person , he will endeavour blasting her good Name , and make the World believe she 's kind to him , tho' she 's only really so to her own Virtue and Reputation , by despising him , and all his Courtship ; and the better to accomplish his base and treacherous Design on her , he alters his Course , changes his Battery , and comes and throws himself at his Virtuous Mistresses Feet , with the greatest seeming Joy imaginable , That God has so blessed him , as he is now become an intire religious Convert , who has abandoned all the vain Pleasures of this World , to contemplate the pure and endless Felicities of Heaven ; and that now , instead of being a Slave to the Beauty of her Body , he is become a devout well-wisher to the good of her Soul : And intends to be so vile an Hypocrite and wicked a Sinner , that since he could not gain her Body by all earthly means , he resolves to flie to Heaven it self for a religious disguise to ruin her Reputation , and satisfy his Revenge , since he could not his Love ; and therefore he now only pretends to pure Piety , strict Virtue , true Humility , much Gravity , and great Penitency in all his Discourses and Actions ( I mean before her only ) and seriously and devoutly protesteth to her ( for in this Disguise he dares not Swear ) that he highly rejoyceth that all the Courtship he made , and Perswasions he used , served only to try her Humour , not tempt her Virtue , which he now highly rejoyces to find proof against all Temptations , Vowing to her he is now more delighted with the true Virtue of her Mind , than ever he was formerly taken with the great Beauty of her Face ; for the first is pure and Heavenly , the last meer sensual ; the first relisheth of Angel-Love , the second may , and often does , savour of meer brutal Lust : And thus , whilst he makes up all his Discourses in praising and magnifying her great Virtue to her self , he uses all base , oblique and subtle Endeavours , and underhand Arts of Defamation , to brand and blemish her good Name to all others , and thus hopes to obtain his base revengful Ends , by a Holy and Heavenly means . And in pursuit of this his base wicked and Treacherous Design , he entertains her , with how highly he is delighted that he has quite stript himself of the Fools-Coat of a vain amorous Lover , to Cloath himself with the pious sober Dress of a holy Convert , and a Devout Christian ; and that he now does , and ever will , make it his hearty Prayers , real Endeavours , and main Concern , to keep her , as well as himself , always full of Heavenly Contemplations of the other World , by an intire forsaking and abominating all the Wickedness and Vanities of this ; and by this mounting her mind above , he hopes the easier to delude her Thoughts here below , and so to make her not to value any of this World 's concerns , and to over-look earthly Censures , as being things all pious Christians must of course meet with , in this their earthly Pilgrimage , not on the account of any particular affliction and punishment for their own private Faults , but as the common Frailty appertaining to all human Being . And thus he entertains her , or rather amuzes her , with heavenly Contemplations , and a meer seeming pure religious Platonick Friendship , that he may , by his good and pious conversation , repair often , talk much , and vifit long , unmistrusted by her , but much observ'd , and highly censur'd by all others , who see his long and often Visits to her , but hear not her religious Discourses with him , or his to her ; and by this base , treacherous Disguise , he hopes others will think him Master of her Body , whilst he pretends to her , to be only a devout Servant to her Soul , and pleaseth himself by putting a religious Cheat on her pious Meanings and virtuous Actions , and makes use of God's good Name , only to procure her a bad one .

There is a remarkable Story , something of this nature , to be read in Josephus , of a most rare Lady in Rome , called Paulina , who was much renown'd for her high Birth , great Virtue , admirable Wit , charming Beauty , abundant Wealth , transcendent Wisdom and Discretion ; and as an addition to all these , she was in the very prime and Blossom of her Age ; and what 's yet stronger than all these , she was reverenc'd by all , as a Mirror of Chastity ; and that so many rare Qualities should all center in one Woman , where there 's hardly one of them to be found in many Women , I am sure is not one of the smallest Miracles in Rome , which could never be nam'd the Holy City upon the account of the many holy and virtuous Women in it ; for in Rome all know Miracles are very plenty , but chast Women very scarce , and so are indeed chast Clergy-Men ; for the younger fort of them love more to make many handsom Women unvirtuous , but reprove few , if any , for being so , or Penancing them that they are so . This admirable Paulina , was married to a young Noble Man , that well match'd her in all her Excellencies , and Virtues . He was called Saturnam . There was a person of great esteem , nam'd Decius Mundus that fell desperately in love with her , but could not corrupt her , so as to enjoy her one Night , with all the Arts he could use , and vast Proffers he did offer to the value of two hundred thousand Drachmas , which in our Mony amounts to about six thousand Pounds ; but after having found all his Essays of gaining her , fruitless , her Heart being impregnable , he fell into so great a Melancholy , and so deep a Despair , as he resolved , since , he could not feast himself on her Beauty , he would Starve himself to Death , to be deliver'd from the Tyranny of his violent Love-passion for her , that so tormented him ; but a Woman , call'd Ida , being much troubled he should undergo such a sad Death , went to him and desir'd him not to die with Despair , for she had thought of a means , that for fifty thousand Drachmas , which she would so dispose as a Bribe , that he should enjoy his dear Paulina : To accomplish which , she practised this subtil , but wicked Policy , by addressing her self to a Priest of the Temple , who upon her large Promises and Offers of great Sums ( which is still a prevailing Argument among the Popish Clergy ) she laid him down 25000 Drachmas , and ingaging to him as much more as soon as he had perform'd what she desired . She then acquainted him with the violent Love-passion Mundus had for Paulina , begging him to contrive some way that he might enjoy her , or else he could not long enjoy his own Life : The Priest , possessed with the great Sum she gave him , and the much more that she engaged to give him , promised , That Mundus should enjoy Paulina for a whole Night ; And he having free access to her , desired he might speak with her in private , which she readily granted him , who told her , he was sent by the God Anubis , who was much inamored with her charming Beauty , and desired that she would give him a meeting that night . This Discourse so pleased Paulina , as she could not forbear telling some of her intimate Friends how she had been honoured with an amorous sollicitation of a God , ( for tho' she was an excellent Woman , yet she was still a Woman , and consequently vain and proud of her Beauty . ) Paulina thought fit , in the first place , to acquaint her Husband , how God Anubis had sent that he would come to her , which her Husband consented to , relying on her great Chastity ; she therefore , after she had supp'd at her usual hour , repair'd to the Temple , and in the Priest his House she went to bed , and the Gates being by the Priest shut and the Lights in her Chamber taken away , Mundus , that was hid in the Chamber , failed not to accost her , who she thought was God Anubis . By this art of his and mistake of hers , Mundus satisfied his wicked lustful desire of her all that Night , and early in the morning before the Priests were stirring ( who were privy to the Treachery , ) he retired himself , and Paulina also returned early in the morning to her Husband , and acquainted him how God Anubis had appeared unto her , and made her boast to some of her familiar Friends , what conference he had used with her , which some of them could not believe ; others were amazed at it , considering her great Chastity . About three days after , Mundus meeting Paulina , told her , she had saved him two hundred thousand Drachmas , which she might have put in her Treasure ; but , said he , I am not much troubled that you contemned me under the name of Mundus , since I have satisfied my desire by enjoying you under the Name of Anubis ; and so left her . She amazed at his high Impudence , and vexed at her own Misfortune , tore her Garments , and went and told her Husband of Mundus his base , wicked and subtile Deceit , and begged his assistance in the prosecution of her Revenge ; and presently acquainted the Emperour Tiberius of every particular of their vile Treachery ; who after a strict examination of the Priests concerning this base foul Fact , he condemned them and Ida the contriver of the Plot against Paulina , to be all hanged , the Temple to be pulled down , the Statue of Anubis to be cast into the River of Tiber , and Mundus to be banished .

This sad Story teacheth all Women this good Doctrin , That they are not to grant a Man extraordinary Opportunities , tho' upon never so extraordinary Pretences , witness this wicked Cheat practised on the Virtuous Paulina . The message sent to meet him , was no less than faom a God : The Messenger that brought it was no worse than a Priest of the Temple ; she had her Husband 's free consent to justify her , and her own pure Innocence to protect her ; yet when she lay that Night from her Husband , she stray'd that Night from her Prudence , by fancying a God had more need or desire to have her appear to him in Bed out of her House , than up and drest in it ; but it seems the Name of a God had a charming power to deceive a Mortal Woman , when vast Gifts , large Promises , and the most subtile Arts could not prevail , which I may well say again is a Pattern useful to instruct Women . This prudent Caution , not to trust Men with over-great Liberties and unusual Opportunities , tho' they bow down their Knees to the Ground , and lift up their Eyes to Heaven , humbly to make God a Witness of their unalterable Constancy and real Affection , I say a Wise , Virtuous Woman ought not to rely on either , since there may be Deceit in both .

Really as a Virtuous Wife cannot be too cautious and careful to maintain a good Reputation , so she cannot be too wary and watchful to avoid a bad one , and consequently to shun Mens Courtship , the grand occasion of it , since more handsom Women lose their Reputation by being publickly courted , than by being privately enjoyed ; for tho' the one is but a high Folly , the other a great Sin , yet the first raises a publick Scandal , whilst the other is but a private Crime between themselves , and cannot be talked of by many , because known but by few ; and indeed 't is held by divers Men , a measuring cast , and a disputable question , which is worse , a Wife that 's inwardly Virtuous , but outwardly in discreet , or a Wife that 's outwardly discreet , but not inwardly Virtuous : I dare not undertake to tell you which is the best of the two , but I am sure they are both bad ; yet I fancy the first is less ill , since 't is doubtless a greater crime to offend God , than injure Men , a Scandal not being so bad as a Sin ; for a Scandal may rise only for breaking a Country Custom , but a sin , can only rise from breaking a heavenly Command .

A Wife that 's outwardly scandalous in her carriage , tho' never so inwardly Vertuous in her intentions , yet that can give no satisfaction , or make any reparation to her Husbands Reputation ; for if a Mans Wife be generally reported faulty , 't is the same to her Husbands Honour , as if she were really so ; for tho' her inward Virtue and Innocency is hers , yet the scandal of the ill report is his , so that the Wives being free from the Sin , does not clear the Husband from the shame . Now of all that I have writ , good Wives ought to make this Conclusion , that since 't is not a Womans Innocency of Life , but her discreet living in the sight of the World , that must preserve , or ruin her Reputation in it , and as much of her Husbands Honour , as relates to it , this Consequence must needs be undeniable , that a good Wife is as well obliged to live discreetly on her Husbands account , as she is bound to live Virtuously on her own , and to be truly careful , strictly diligent , and purely modest in all her Looks , Words , and Actions towards Men , since as you just read before , many Men are so very false , treacherous and wicked , that if they cannot by all earthly means gain their Mistresses kindness , they will fly to Heaven it self for a disguise to ruin their Reputation .

Therefore that Wife that is truly Virtuous , and that truly resolves to continue so , and desires to be by all thought such , must not only avoid doing what 's really ill , but what 's seemingly imprudent ; and so may occasion , tho' not deserve censure , and in order thereunto she 's to avoid all scandalous company of either Sex , and not only to shun all Sin , but all Inviters to it , or Patterns of it ; for evil Communication not only corrupts good Manners , but creates a bad Reputation ; therefore a Virtuous Wife must not only abstain from making an intimacy with , but receiving Visits from , such as are branded with a general ill Reputation ; for 't is a fault to keep company with such as are commonly esteemed to be faulty ; for that Woman that truly hates such Womens Vices will Shun their Company for their Vices sake ; for as Virtue is only followed by the Virtuous , so Vice is only by the vicious , so that a good Wife ought to be discreet as well as virtuous , since if she be not the one , she will hardly pass for the other ; and 't is much to be doubted , that she that will not keep in the Bounds of a discreet outward Carriage , will hardly contain her self in the Limits of a pure inward Virtue . Lastly , since Self-interest ( to speak moderately ) governs the greatest part of the World in all things , sure it ought to govern all good Women in this one thing , especially since 't is so much for their advantage , which none can deny , who considers , that 't is a certain Rule , and a common Practice , that she that Censures others , must expect that others will Censure her , for in this rule , there is rarely any favour shewed , or respect given ; and therefore a Prudent Woman cannot but esteem it both reasonable and necessary to believe that by passing sharp Censures on others , whether they do much , little , or not at all deserve them , yet they are still received , and often returned , by those they are intended for , and level'd at , with great Anger , bitter Malice , and sharp Revenge ; for tho' they fall on those that are truly faulty , and so justly deserve them , yet that hinders not such from being transported with Fury against the Reporters of them ; for tho' many Women love to commit faults , yet most hate to be told they do .

And if you blame and censure those whose good and virtuous Life no way deserves such sharp Censures , they will be sure to be incensed against you for unjustly accusing them , so that both Good , and Bad will be angry to be ill spoke of ; and this methinks should disswade all Women , that pretend to Wisdom and Discretion , to avoid scandalizing any ; for if you speak ill of a Woman , as on your own knowledg , and yet do not certainly know it , you commit a divelish fault , by telling a Lie , and so raise a Blister on your own Tongue , by endeavouring to raise a Scandal on her Fame ; and if you report Scandalous things of a Woman as Truth , only upon the account of hearing them from others , 't is very possible you tell a Lye at 2d Hand , by telling that as a Truth , which you are not certain is so ; therefore , 't is my advice to all Ladies to root out of their practice , this base , tho' modish Crime of Defamation , which will do you hurt , but can never do you good ; for you will always get Hatred for it , but never gain Love by it ; so that indeed the best and most prudent Course , is , that of persons you cannot speak well of , be silent , and rather make their Faults the subject of your Trouble , than that of your Discourse , or the exercise of your Wit , which is in truth , but the practice of your Malice : And as Cheating can never make a part of true Wisdom , so ill Nature can never make a part of good Wit ; and indeed Women may rely upon this as almost an infallible Rule , that those that delight in Censuring others before you , will as well delight in censuring you before others , assoon as your back is turned . In a word , those that take pleasure in scandalizing others , whether it be to make Discourse , or to shew Wit , or to vent Malice , 't is not only Unjust and Unhandsom , but 't is what 's worse than both , irreligious and deceitful , if you will take St James's word for it , for he says , If any among you seemeth Religious , and bridleth not his Tongue , he deceiveth his own Heart , and his Religion is vain , James 1.26 .

Lastly , give me leave to mind you again , that she that will censure others , must expect others will censure her ; and you know that one that fights many , must needs fight upon great disadvantage ; so in matter of Censures and Scandals she that provokes many Tongues to Shoot at her own single Reputation , those many are much likelier to wound her , than she to wound those many ; since she that shoots at the Reputation of great numbers of Women , 't is improbable she should hit all ; but if great numbers shoot all at one , 't is very improbable that one should be missed by all ; so that 't is unfafe as well as unreasonable and imprudent for any one ; Woman to provoke many Women Certainly to cast sharp . Censures on her , meerly out of her uncertain hopes to cast Scandals on them .

And Censurer disguise your malicious ill nature , with the purest Gloss , and the best Wit you can : You shall never make it pass for true Wisdom and good Policy , to forfeit your Judgment , to exercise your Wit ; Therefore if your Prudence and Discretion cannot hinder you from ingaging in such an unequal Cambat , as one Tongue must be to fight against many , pray let Self-interest , upon the account of self-preservation , dissuade you from it ; and remember , to be worsted in fight is still disgraceful , as well as to be victorious , is ever glorious : Therefore , rather follow Prudence , than practise Malice ; and rather conceal your Wit , than divulge your Envy , or exercise your ill Nature ; and since foul censuring is ever bad , still remember , you can never shew good Wit , by doing an ill thing .

And now , Reader , to conclude all in one word ( for I know I have reason to believe that I have already writ too many , to tire your Patience , tho' perhaps not to convince your opinion , ) that a virtuous Woman ought to avoid publick Censures , as well as private Sins ; and to shun as much getting an ill Name , as committing a bad Act. Now to prevent both , let all your Thoughts be good , and all your Words and Actions discreet and Un-censorious , that tho' the Beauty of your Person , may cause some that are unvirtuous , to wish you so , yet let the Piety of your Life , and the Prudence of your Carriage , cause all such that are truly Religious and strictly Virtuous , to report you to be the like ; and make it always your great care , and constant concern , that you never scandalize any , and your great trouble , that any should ever scandalize you ; for let a Woman be never so purely virtuous , and free from deserving bad Censures , yet she must be unfortunate in receiving them ; for scandalous Reports must hurt a good Womans Reputation , tho' she does not deserve them ; as well as wound a wicked Womans Conscience , that does .

THE THIRD DISCOURSE , Of young Mens great folly , in adoring , and over-praising all young handsome Ladies ; and their greater folly in receiving it , and believing them .

'T IS not more natural for heat to attend Fire , nor more common for the Sun to exhale vapours from the Earth , than 't is for great Beauty to attract high Praises from young Men ; and truly such of them , as have wit to spare , time to lose , favour to hope for , and no other world to think of , are fittest to Court their Beauty in this , which is but modish breeding , and suitable to most mens practice and all handsom Ladies expectation , I do not say merit .

And such Men as are pretenders to raillying wit , and French breeding , may shew both , by entertaining them with Courtly Harangs , all set out with high Praises , and great Complements , ( which few Men speak as their belief , but most Ladies receive as their desert , ) and with such Idolizing postures , and Dying expresons , as if they design'd their fellow Creatures to be perfect Goddesses , who were made like Nebuchadnezzar's golden Image , only to be worshipped ; so naturally agreeable are such sinful adorations to vain Ladies , as the first temptation we read of in Scripture that ever prevail'd on Woman , was that of being made like to God , and that Woman then compriz'd in her self , the whole species of Women kind ; and indeed 't is very probable , that her aspiring presumption then to more knowledge than she ought , does still punish most of her Sex with less Wisdom than they need .

Really if handsom Ladies had but that share of Prudence which they ought to have as good Christians , and to use in the practical part of Christianity , to which all Women are called , ( though few strive to be chosen ) they would never endure , much less countenance , such young Men to Court and magnifie them at such an extravagant rate , as to present them with that Composition of Praises , meerly for vain pastime , or what 's worse , evil ends , which ought to be attributed to divine Worship only ; nor can there be a more clear and plainer Argument to prove Womens want of wisdom , then that many of them will receive such profane Praises , not as the vain Effects of young Mens wicked folly , but as the deserved Trophies of their own conquering beauty and merit . All I shall say is , that such courtly Incense , suits well with such a vain false Deity , and that such young Women are as foolishly guilty in receiving such vain Attributes , as such young Men are highly profane in offering them :

Thus Men by the deceitful reflexes of high praises , divert young Women from remembring their Creator in the days of their Youth , and possibly all the time of their Life , by Charming them with their own Charms , and disguising themselves , to themselves ; and by telling them so often what they are not , makes them forget what they really are ; and by these means they advance their minds so far above any dismal thoughts of their own mortality , that truly few of our young cry'd up beauties now adays , scarce hears any thing of Death , but what they are Romanticly told their own killing beauty does occasion , though in truth , if we read the Weekly Bills of Mortality , we shall find that the effects of Anger kill many more , than the passion of Love ; Men being often Angry with many Men at once , but never in Love with more than one Woman at a time , and that one it self , is too many by one .

But my design being not to Court the young Ladies with high Complements , but to serve them with great reality , I must assure them that these high praises , the more they are trusted , the more they 'll betray , and the more you Ladies confide in their worth , the more you 'll be deceiv'd in their value ; so that it follows by the plain Rule of common reason , that so much as you deduct of Mens overpraises , so much you lessen of your own self deceivings . Indeed these poysoned Darts of praises , have got such a predominant power over most young handsom Women , ( and the most handsom , are most subject to them , ) that most of them are in danger of being wounded by them , because the peril of flattery still mounts with the degrees of beauty , as the Suns heat still increases proportionable as it rises .

Flattery and vain-glorious praises are both insinuating Devils , two Twins begot by the father of Lies , and these not only attempt all , but possess most vain handsom Ladies ; and therefore they ought above all , to be very strict , and diligently active , to shun such tempting discourse , and avoid such dangerous Company , or at least when with them , to be sure still to carry about them S. James his good direction and antidote , resist the Devil , and he will flie from you .

Really if young Ladies would but take a steddy resolution to resist and slight all young Mens vain Courtships , and place no such high estimation on their own beauty , they would easily do the like on mens praises , and by this means young Gallants would slacken in their Courtships , proportionable to the young Ladies cooling in their receptions of it , and so make Men despise Womens beauty , suitable to their slighting Mens Love , and thus Womens prudence , would become Mens wisdom , for in real truth , 't is hope of gain makes love Merchants as well as others ; none watch Bees but for their Hony , and few Court fair Ladies but for some hopes of a return ; and therefore you never hear of any of the young Sparks that plant their Love Batteries against Nunneries , not because they think the young Women in them have too little beauty , but because they believe they shall meet there with too great a resistance , by the care they take , and strictness they use , to prevent Mens making any Addresses and near approaches to them : for as Mr. Cowley says , a well govern'd heart , like rich China , admits Men only to the Frontier part ; for a strict vertue sets certain bounds to young handsom Womens carriage and behaviour towards Men , which they are not to exceed ; as the Almighty gave to the Sea , so far you shall go , and no farther .

And though I know there 's no such thing now adays in practice among our young Men , as Angel Love , which is the pure Commerce of the Souls , yet I believe Venus Love does not rage so very much , nor is its infection so very strong and rife , as Censurers would fain have it , making our Age much worse than 't is , when God knows 't is but too bad , at best ; as if the youth of both Sexes were now so corrupt , as that a young Gentleman cannot visit a young Lady , nor a young Lady receive visits from a young Gentleman , without imputation of scandal , or the censure of ill and vicious designs on both sides ; tho I verily believe , some young Men , ( I do not say all , nor yet many ) love Womens company , and Women Mens , on no other account than for their great wit , good humor , and agreeable Conversation , without any farther ends .

And now I am beginning to enter into that part of this Discourse which principally addresses it self to the handsom young Maiden Ladies , and chiefly among them , to such as are innocently and modestly bred , for such sort of young Women often entertain discourses , and make acquaintances with young Men , without the least thought of love , or design of ill , many of them looking civilly , and talking freely to them , on no other account , than to shew and exercise their wit , and that may be more to please their own fancy , than on design to take that of others ; but yet I must advise such young Women to consider , that meer civil looks often tempt , and refusals may be given after such a manner , as may rather embolden one to ask more , than to beg pardon for having asked too much ; for as one well observes of strict vertuous Women , That Man comes too near to them , that comes to be denied by them . Indeed 't is not very rare now a days , for civil looks in young Women to breed Adulterous thoughts in young Men , for the Gospel tells us that there is an Adultery of the Eye , and I am sure we ought all to remember with grief of mind , that assoon as the Serpent had perswaded that the forbidden fruit was pleasant to the Eye , it soon follow'd that it became delightful to the Tast ; if Mens Vows of Love , and Oaths of Constancy , can but once tempt young Maids appetites to taste , 't will soon make them anticipate their fears to eat .

Therefore Ladies have a care of receiving Mens praises and flatteries , and though you believe your own Vertue never so strong , and yours Lovers Courtship never so innocent , as possibly they may be at first received by you , and design'd by him , only as the effects of pure civility , and not of any ill intention ; yet praises are so naturally agreeable to vain handsom Ladies , as they often unperceiv'd insinuate , and wind themselves so about their hearts , as to kindle there by degrees Love likings , though perhaps they do not feel so much as the least slight atome Love to creep on the superficies of their heart ; Love sometimes like a Tortoise makes its way , though it does not seem to stir , or like the hand of a Watch , which though you cannot perceive to move , yet you may plainly see its hourly advances ; Love often growing in young Womens minds , as Diseases do in their bodies , without ever giving the least Alarm or Advertisement of its approach , till it breaks out into a dangerous fit of Sickness .

Solomon says , a soft word breaks the Bone , therefore no wonder if smooth praises and complements should charm a young Ladies tender heart ; for sure 't is no wonderful operation in our times , for small freedoms like little Thieves to open the Doors to great Liberties , and venial wantonness , to turn to modish wickedness .

Therefore let me advise the vain Ladies , not to deceive themselves in fancying that they are more invincible in their Love railleries , in receiving praises from young Men , than King Solomon was with dallying with strange Women , which drew him into the Sin of Idolatry . This example may serve as a Caution to young Ladies , not to relie too much on their own strength ; for many Maids hearts , like strong Fortresses , have been lost by too great a dependency upon their own strength , and too mean an undervaluing of others attempts against them : I shall therefore advise all young Ladies , especially Virgins , by no means on any account , to suffer their beauty to lie under the pressing temptations of young Mens high praises , and constant Courtship which often enflames them beyond their own natural temper and strength ; for continual blowing , is able to kindle in time , a great Fire out of a little Spark : And also young handsom Women ought to avoid giving or receiving any favourable attracting looks from young Men ; for the Eye is as well the Pulse of the Mind , as the Door of the Heart , and no Love flames can enter into the heart , but it must first enter the Eye , as we see the Sun it self , still sends his light , before he brings his heat .

Next Ladies remember that the Scripture couples with the lust of the Eye , the pride of Life , as a lesson to teach you , that you ought as much to well order your looks , as to regulate your lives which you may perform much the easier and better , if you will but seriously reflect on the ways and means young Gallants use in making their approaches towards gaining their Mistrisses ; ( I do not here intend as to the making them Mistrisses in order to being Wives but Misses ) which is usually after this kind of manner ; first they present them with swarms of Praises and Complements , thick garnished with great Oaths and repeated Vows , of a never dying love , and a never failing constancy , and all attended with sad looks , deep sighs , and humble postures ; ( no matter though there be not one grain of reality among them all , ) and if these Counterfits can but work so powerful an Operation on their Mistrisses soft good nature , as to make them receive the constant repeated Oaths of their highly adoring them , with some kind of delight ; they are then in a sad yielding condition ; for such Womens hearts cannot pretend to be stronger than fortified Towns , which when they once come to admit of frequent parlies , seldom hold out after long Sieges , but yeild to a Surrender .

Certainly if young Gallants can by their eager courting their Mistrisses , but gain of them some returns of compassion and esteem , next of course follows a favourable liking of them , and then there 's no very great difficulty , after such prosperous advances , to create in them the beginnings of a Love fondness ; and fondness in a young Womans heart , like a weighty body down a steep Hill , it seldom stops till it runs to the very bottom ; and when a Gallant has work'd his Mistris into such a yielding temper , as to credit his Oaths , and be pleas'd with his Company , as believing he truly loves her , and highly admires her , and so grows delighted with the Repetition of them , esteeming all his Courtship real , then surely they cannot on the account of good Nature , and pure Civility , forbear presenting their Gallants , though to their own ruin , this new Article of their Faith , that they believe their Oathes , and love their Persons , and when once they declare that , common experience may soon teach them this , that 't is no great rarity in young Maids by liking of young Men , to stray into vicious actings with them ; and thus by these kinds of degrees and steps , Gallants commonly mount to their Mistrisses ruin ; for as the Poet says , Long waiting Love doth still a passage find , to the most unbelieving mind , at least to the blasting her Reputation , if not the utter undoing of her vertue , fortune , and freedom ; for when once a Gallant is become Master of his Mistrisses heart , he commonly swells to a Monster , and governs like a Tyrant , and instead of treating you like an ador'd Mistris , he uses you like a conquer'd Captive .

Now I have told the young Ladies some of the common ways their Gallants use to gain them by , give me leave here in a word or two , to tell you their usual manner of treating them , after they have gain'd an entire Conquest over their hearts , which is very bad , and sinful in then to suffer . Therefore , let me advise you to carry still this Memorandum about you , That all your Gallants dying expressions , Love-Oaths , Idolizing postures , and often repeated Vows , that their admiration , and love for you , shall be as lasting as their Lives , which translated out of the Lovers Language into true plain English , is no more but just as long as they shall fancy your Beauty ; for usually as fast as their Mistrisses beauty breaks , so do their Oaths of Love and Constancy , which they think they are bound to keep no longer , than their Mistrisses keep their beauty , as being but the meer effects of that cause , and the cause being remou'd , the effect must of course cease , and besides there 's nothing more certain than that skin deep beauty , seldom creates better than meer sensual love , which never contains reality , or long duration .

But Ladies if this were all it would not be so very bad , or indeed this is only the least part of it , and when your Gallant has enjoy'd you , methinks you ought not to wonder that he honours you no longer as his Mistris , when you dishonour your self by becoming his Miss ; for fancy what you please , an enjoy'd Mistris is no better , let her Quality be never so good , and her beauty never so great , and there 's no Woman ought to think it strange , that her Gallant after enjoyment , undervalues her , when by it , she shews him the way , by fiirst undervaluing her self , and so ought to expect little Love , and less Courtship , but rather much slighting , if not aversion ; for this is most certain , Ladies , that though your Gallants use all flattering means and arts , not sparing their Oaths or Money , Soul or Purse , to purchase your good Nature , ( I should have said sinful folly , ) to bless them , as they call it , with the enjoyment of you , ( that is , to curse your selves by admitting it , ) which when your Gallants have obtain'd on any terms , Swearing and forswearing not excepted they presently like greedy Hawks , who assoon as they have fully gorg'd themselves on their Quarry , slight and turn Tail to the very same Game , which just before they flew so eagerly after , and grow soon as weary of an enjoy'd Mistris , as most eldest Sons are of their long long liv'd Fathers , or their ugly monied Wives ; in a word , our Amorous Age is so very wicked and unchast , that really most of our young Mens fiery Love to the thing call'd a Mistris , is by our present mode become of the same nature of Fire it self , which all know cannot subsist long if not often recruited with fresh matter .

And I have yet , Ladies , something more to add , which is of a much worse consequence than all before , which is this , that after your Gallants have enjoy'd you , though never so much in private , they will not be satisfied unless they may boast of it in Publick , so vain are our young Sparks , as to take more satisfaction in the thoughts that others believe they enjoy their Mistrisses , than they themselves do in the actual enjoyment of them ; our young Men retaining still so much of the old Roman pride , as to love the Triumph more than the Conquest , and indeed I am of opinion , that on the bragging account of enjoying Mistrisses now so much in fashion among the late Debauchees ; those Men that boast they do , though they do it not , are not so bad , as those that boast of it in so vain-glorious a manner as to act a real Sin .

Then the young Gallant can tell their enjoy'd Mistrisses , that meer love of beauty is but a meer amorous desire , and that none but fools desire what they possess , possession being the full end and accomplishment of all desire , and consequently of all beauty Love , and so laugh at the simplicity of those that will endure long the scorching flames of a violent Love passion , fancying none but the foolish barbarous Persians can long adore that Sun which burns them .

And our young Gallants are now generally grown so very nice , that they cannot feed on any thing , but sweet variety , which makes them rant in the Hectoring Language of the Times , and say that 't is as unmodish to have but one Mistris , as to have none at all , and therefore Swear that Mistrisses enjoy'd though never so young and beautiful , are but like Romances read , and Plays once seen ; and indeed methinks enjoy'd Mistrisses , ought not to wonder at their Gallants sickleness , it being not at all strange that an unvertuous Love should make an inconstant Lover .

And now I must beg leave to glance my discourse a little on a Fault , which some young Ladies commit , without ever considering 't is one , which is sometimes to exercise their wit , shew their pride , and vanity , or gaity of humor , or what else you please to call it , to make themselves sport and entertainment , spread abroad their fine silken nets of inticing arts , and attracting allurements , to incourage and invite some young Fop , to become fond of one of their Company , as his dearly beloved , and highly admir'd Mistris , only that they may have thereby , the better means and occasion to railly , and make pastime with him , never considering that by making him thus to fall in love with one of them , he is obliged by the general Rules , and common practices of our Modern refin'd Lovers , to magnify and extoll her beauty ; and never to be sparing of his Oaths and Lies , in praising her perfections , and his own overflowing passion and so cause him to sin in earnest , though probably design'd by the Lady as a Jest ; but 't will be no sufficient excuse in this bad kind of raillery , to say your intention was innocent , since its effect is culpable , for we are not to do ill , that good may come of it ; and sure much less to do ill , where no good can come of it , and I am sure this is an undeniable truth , That she who makes another do an ill thing , does an ill thing her self , by her making another to do it .

Therefore Ladies , whether in Jest or Earnest , if you are truly vertuous , and desire really to continue so , and that the world should esteem you such , as designing to admit men only to admire your Persons but never to ruin your vertue ; the best way to effect it is never to let them Court your beauty ; for remember that the Fire of Love is like that of Anger , a short , but fierce madness ; for a Man that 's in Love , during the raging fit of his enflam'd lustful passion , talks light and idly , for a Lovers heart rises and falls , is happy and unhappy , according as his Mistris is kind or unkind , it being indeed but very suitable to the folly of being in Love , that such a Lovers heart , should never move according to the dictates of his own reason , but the vain motions of his Mistrisses fickle fancy ; and therefore because such Men know not what the do , their Mistrisses ought not to mind what they say , nor admit their Addresses , though they pretend them in jest , or for meer pastime , and not to kindle their hopes , when they mean never to feed their desires , but avoid conversing with them , and entertaining of them ; for surely all persons ought to avoid mad Bedlam acquaintances , and young Men during their distracted Love passion , value not what Praises they present , what Offers they make , nor indeed what price they give , to purchase the enjoyment of their dear Mistrisses , though it be at the damnable rate of long continued Idolatry , and often repeated Perjury .

O strange and wicked madness , that these kind of Lovers cannot be content to give their Mistrisses their heart for a little time , without giving their Souls to the Devil for ever , and fancy he is as very obliging as they are foolish , and inconstant , and that the Devil will as easily forget the Oaths they made to him , as they do theirs they made to their Mistrisses , which were intended but as meer Courtiers Complements , which are meant no longer than they are speaking , and therefore ought to be thought on no longer than they are hearing ; but though such Lovers fancy they give their Souls to the Devil but in jest , yet he will be careful to keep them in earnest , for if they will commit the sin of making such Oaths , let them have a care the Devil be not permitted to make them endure the Hellish Penance of keeping them , God will not be mocked .

I have enlarged this Discourse on the folly of Mens overpraising and Courting Women , with great Confidence , because I fancy with much Experience , though I am sure with little Prudence , for I confess such experience was bought too dear , yet I have this satisfaction , that the fault of committing a vice , do's not consist in the confession of it , but in the yeilding to it , and therefore I own I have served much more than a thrice seven years Prenticeship in the Trade of Love , and its foolish appendant Train of Fopperies , which was ( I confess ) a great fault against the well spending of my time , which might have been much better employ'd in the duties of Religion , than in the pastimes and vain company of modish Women ; but I have now serv'd out my Time , in that foolish Trade , and am become a perfect freeman , as to that folly of Courting all modish Ladies ; not that I am at all grown a Woman hater , or a precise Puritan , or such a true Disciple of Job , as to make a Covenant with mine Eyes , not to behold a handsom Woman , for I shall still own , I look upon all beautiful Women , to come nearest of all Creatures in brightness and splendor to the glorious Angels , and am very much pleased , when I can pass away an hour or two in an afternoon , among such of them as are not irreligious , but of a vertuous reputation , and are good Wits , free humor'd , and of pleasant Converse , for 't is not keeping company with , but paying an adoration to , Ladies beauty , that makes the crime sinful ; as 't is not making Images to adorn Churches , but building Churches to worship Images , that makes the Idolatry .

And since Recreation for the mind is as well necessary as Exercise for the body , I see no reason why it may not be lawful for me to recreate my self , now and then in an afternoon , in such good young Womens company and conversation , to hear their opinions , and discourses , ( which the rude sort of Men call Twatlings ) on the Stories of the place , and their several fancies and judgments on the divers Fashions then worn ; who are the Women most talk'd of , for whom , and what beauties are highest cried up , and which of them loves most , and carries on an Intrigue best , lives highest , wears the richest Clothes , keeps the finest Equipage , and has most Gallants , and this Gentlewoman is to be Married to that Gentleman , who in a little time will find her Debts much greater than her Beauty or Portion either , and such a pretty Maid is to be Married by a Match of her Parents making to such a one , in whom she will be very unhappy , her heart being prepossessed by another , and such an old Man is jealous of his young Wife without a Cause , and such a young Man is not jealous of his handsom Wife with one , and the like Subjects , which I grant in severe strictness , may be truly call'd an omission , in not spending our time so well as we ought , which I look upon to be more a venial vice , than an unpardonable sin , and therefore do not believe that the knowledge of my infirmity , ought to be the despair of my Recovery ; but I am truly pleas'd that all unlawful designs , and unchast desires as to Women , are banished from my heart , and that Vertue has made me quite leave them , before Age has made them quite leave me .

But 't is more than time to finish this Discourse , for I have dwelt longer on it than I intended , but the trouble of it , I hope the Ladies will the more easily pardon , since 't is not only a fault , but a habit , that I have been much subject to , and long infected with , which is to be loth to part with young Womens Company , when I am once got into it , and therefore I will conclude this Discourse , with this Complement to the Ladies , that I heartily wish it may prove as satisfactory and advantagious to them , as to make them all now as fond of piety , as I was once of beauty , and that they may continue to love it , as many years as I did them , and then I dare assure them this double blessing , That they shall neither live ill , nor die young .

THE FOURTH DISCOURSE , Of the extraordinary governing Power that Womens Beauty now exercises over most Men.

BLess me and deliver me ! What a strange Subject do I now fall on , and into what a vast Sea am I now Imbarking ! The Bay of Biskay with all its proud swelling waves , is but as a calm pond to it ; for that only tosses Ships into the Air , and presently brings them down again ; but this Subject elevates my Pen above the Skie , and there leaves it ; for Womens governing Power , has no certain Top nor Bottom , but Circle-like , is without beginning or end : How can it possibly be then describ'd , it being a meer Maze of difficulties , and a Labyrinth of Confusions , in which it has made so many cross Paths of pride and folly , vanity and power , as I know not which to take , or which to leave , where to advance , or how to retreat : And yet I find in my self an earnest inclination to venture on it , though I am sure to be lost in it ; for I must expect that this dull and short Discourse on the voluminous Subject of beauties mighty power , can have no other fate than that of Rivers , which still run with an eager , haste , though it be only to plunge themselves into the Sea , in which they are presently lost .

Story tells us of some English Frigats that sail'd up to Constantinople , and were there so generally admir'd , that the great Turk himself went to see them , and was very much taken with their beauty , shape and strength ; and being told there were hundreds finer in England , he commanded that the Map of the World should be presently brought him , that he might see that brave Kingdom , which produced such gallant effects ; the Map being come , he laid his finger carelesly on it , and ask'd whereabouts England was , but the person that was to shew it him , told him he could not do it , till he took off his finger , for it quite cover'd that Kingdom .

Thus one Inch of the Worlds Map serves to set out all Englands Confines , but a hundred sheets of Paper cannot half describe the extraordinary bounds of Womens usurping power : If I look up towards the height of it , I am confounded at the sight of so bright and clear a Scene of meer sanciful Splendor , and if I look downwards on it , I meet in my Compass , crowds of Adorers and Suitors thick prostrate at their feet , some courting their great beauty , others admiring their high power , some begging their favour , but most bribing their interest .

But though their beauty cannot at all dazle my sight , yet this Subject do's indeed puzzle my Pen , for really I am so far from knowing how to end this Discourse , as I profess I know not yet where to begin it , and indeed when I have writ all I can on it , I fancy I can make no other than this whole sale judgment of it , That beauties universal governing Power is of a miraculous nature like that of the Ebbing and Flowing of the Sea , every body may daily see its strange effects , but none can give a good reason for the true cause ; therefore I am sure my weakness ought not to attempt , what the strength of wit , and Philosophy could never perform .

So that I am resolv'd to venture on this Subject , but as little Boys do on a great River , not hazard far on it , for fear of being lost in it , but content themselves with wading a little on the Brink of it , and there to dable and wash them , out of the reach of its great depth , and fierce stream .

And though I know that the cause of Mens so enslaving themselves to handsom Womens power cannot spring but from a mean slavish nature , and so ought not to be look'd upon better by any considering Men , than a kind of Kingdom in the Moon or Fairy Land , only hatch'd by the fiery amorous Love , of a high , lustful , and enflam'd distemper'd passion ; seated in the vain Aiery Region , of meer foolish imagination , being not grounded on any foundation of true reason or good consideration .

Yet I cannot imitate the Map makers , who still leave a blank for their Terra Incognita , but I must fill up my Paper , and rather than not write more of it , I will leave of scratching my head , and breaking my brain any longer about it , to find out how , and where to begin this desperate Subject , it being like a Coal all over red hot , there 's no touching it in any part , without burning one finger , 't is like a Hedge-Hogg all over prickles , so that 't will be almost as hard a task for me to know how to hit upon a safe good way to begin this Discourse , as to find a sure means to put an end to Womens governing power . But since I must begin , I will as all Builders do , never mind to have the first foundation stone cut into any shape ; so I am resolv'd to lay my first entrance into this Discourse , on the Courtships , and power of the Welch Ladies , for there I fancy the Men take no pains , nor use any arts to square or polish their Addresses ; but only take what comes uppermost , as they arise out of pure Natures Quarry .

And truly I am of opinion that according to the Rules of sober reason , and naked truth , the Welch ought to be esteem'd the more for it , since as 't is a general approv'd Rule , that of evils we ought still to choose the least ; so sure by the same rule of proportion , we ought of troubles to choose the shortest , which being granted , we must necessarily come to own , that the Welch Courtship , and manner of making Love , must needs surpass our great Masters of that Trade the French ; for the Welch are all plain honest dealing Men , and good kind friends , who are well acquainted with one anothers humors ; and therefore esteem it superfluous to make many words to a Bargain , which makes them railly both the English and the French , who they say dare not approach their Mistrisses but with humble looks , and obedient postures , speaking as Solomon says , Prov. 6.13 . With their feet , by making so many Legs before they come to them , and those with as much exactness , as Poets make Verses , where every syllable must be weigh'd , that they may keep just Measures , and true Cadence , as well in their approaches as addresses : Nor dare they speak to them but with large Harangues of Praises , still besieging their Mistrisses with Armies of Complements , in admiration of their beauty and perfections , and most of these fierce great Lovers , ( I had almost said worse ) differ and excel one another , in their manner of Addresses , means of Approaches , expences in Presents , degrees of Courtship , and ways of Treating and the like ; whereas the plain dealing honest Welch-men , are most of an equal kind of breeding and birth , being all Gentlemen of Wales , and most of them high born , which is a truth , all that have Travell'd thorow their Country will easily believe , since really in one sense , few of them can be other , considering the many elevated Mountains their Country is made up with , and yet I often observ'd in my Travelling through it , that the Men of that Country , are generally of a very plain breeding , and much of a level Capacity , for though Wales is highly seated , yet 't is but of a short extent , which occasions the whole Country to lie under the same degree of Elevation .

And as the Welch Gentry have for the most part an aversion to the Roman Doctrin , so they have no fancy for Romance Courtship , few studying the one , and fewer practising the other , and yet for all they are both great Vertuosos , and expert Soldiers in the Art of expeditiously managing a Venus War , and can sooner take by storm the Fort of their Welch Mistrisses heart , than the English or French can finish their Approaches to gain so much as the outworks of their Mistrisses civil and favourable Looks .

But I am stray'd from my Theme , and therefore I 'll conclude my Welch Travels , and Interloping Discourses of Wales , leaving the Welch Cavaliers to the power of their own Country Mistrisses .

And take notice how we are now in England shrunk into such a Brood of unmasculine Petticoat Men that are such adorers of their Mistrisses beauty , as they cannot behold them but through the magnifying Prospective of their own enflam'd lustful passion , and amorous folly , which renders their Mistrisses beauty so large and Charming , and their Power so high and Mighty , that like the possessed man in the Gospel , they will run thorow fire and water , in their Love fit , and to feed their momentary flames , will venture those of everlasting Burning .

This wretched sort of Slaves to Womens Power , who in their Courtship and Addresses to gain their Mistrisses hearts , do so desperatly hazard the loss of their own Souls , by offending God in their words and actions , resemble exactly those People of Jerusalem and Judah , which the Prophet Isaiah cap. 3. v. 8. speaks of , They are fallen down because their Tongue and doings are against the Lord , provoking the Eyes of his Glory .

And now the Prophet has told you their fault , he will also tell you their punishment , The Lord of Host will take from them the Judg and the Prophet , the Prudent and the Ancient , and will give Children to be their Princes , and Babes to be their Governors ; and pray what is the consequence of this noble Infant Government ? why the Prophet tells you , Vers. 5. And the People shall be oppressed one by another , every one by his Neigbour , the Child shall behave himself proudly against the Ancient , and the base against the honourable , &c.

And as 't is a practical Art in Oratory to keep the best Arguments to bring up the Rear of the Discourse to leave the strongest Impression at the last , so God is pleased to reserve for the last , the greatest punishment of all , which he here threatens by the Prophet when he tells men , verse 12. And Women shall rule over them . Really 't is a sign the Peoples stay and strength are gone , and their prudence out of Power , when Women are placed to Rule over them , from whence without the help of Philosophy , I can easily extract this Observation , That the Almighty who sure best knows the abilities of his own Creatures , places Women in the same Rank with Children , thereby plainly denoting , That a Nursery kind of Government suits best with Womens Power ; and this kind of doctrin is in some manner confirmed by S. Paul , though in a larger Character , for he ascribes to Women as their fit sphere , and proper imployment the guiding of the house , that is , the Women in it .

There is an Author who in his discourse of Women very well observes , that they have but three States of Life , Virginity , Marriage , and Widdowhood ; for the first two they are , or ought to be , states of subjection to Parents , and Husbands ; and for that of Widdowhood , God himself counts that state of life to be desolate and sad , the Almighty having design'd them for subjection and therefore accounts Women most miserable , when most at liberty from Mans Power .

And now surely out of these reasons and considerations of his , I may here safely , because truly , draw this undeniable Argument and conclusion .

That it cannot but be very bad for Men to be under Womens Government , when God says 't is very sad for Women to be under their own .

And so I have done with the time , when 't was appointed for Women to govern over Men ; next of course follows the manner how they Ruled , and that we have an account of in few words , in the 12 verse of that Chapter aforementioned by the Prophet , O my people says the Lord , Those , ( that is the Women ) that lead ye , cause you to err , and destroy the ways of thy Paths : Thus we find that error and destruction , are the effects of Womens ruling power , it being contrary to the ways of Truth , ( for it causeth Error , ) and the Laws of Nature , of Reason , I cannot say of common Practice ; and it was here appointed to Women , not as a favour , but for a punishment , as an effect of Gods wrath against his People , it being a Reverse of the Fundamental Law which was made by God almost as soon as the World , I am sure as early as the first Man in it ; for Sacred writ tells , that 't was laid as a load on the first Woman for her disobedience to her Maker , that she should be subject to her Husband , and though to be so now , is but the practice of very few Wives of our Age , yet that do's not hinder it from being the duty of all from the beginning of the World .

Therefore let all our high spirited governing Women , who make their silly Husbands , and foolish Gallants , such slaves to their Power , because admirers of their beauty , remember what one very well observ'd , That the day of the date of Womens Power over Man , was the day of the date of her sin against God : It being most clear and plain , that from Adams time , the Woman ought to be in subjection to the Man , and therefore S. Paul said , I will not have the Woman usurp an authority over the Man , and seems to give the Reason , for first Adam was made , then Eve .

Seneca well observes in saying , There is something of meanness in the most seeming gallant and inviting sin ; I am sure there is a great meaness of Spirit in Mens so subjecting themselves to Womens power , since such must in effect declare , that they have lost not only the Courage of Men , but the very Nature of Gentlemen , what did I say , they have lost the Nature of Gentlemen , nay I might have added , the very natural right and reason of humanity , and deserve to loose the great honour of being English Men , for such Petty-Coat Men ought to be Transplanted into the Suburbs of England , Wales , where the Language of that Country fits exactly their effeminate humor , who by a kind of Welch Paradox , call the Man , hur , not he , and indeed hur , suits betten than he , with such a sort of female Gentry , who are composed of such unmasculine Spirits .

Really when I reflect on what Crowds there are of this pitiful rank of Men , who take so great pride and delight , in being constant adorers , and humble servants to their Mistrisses beauty , not in railery , but in reality , who are as very happy in their own conceit , if their Mistrisses do oblige them with a kind word , or favourable look , as if the Day Star from above had come to visit them , and to lead them into eternal light , and that all the Aspects of the Stars had combin'd together , to be propitious to them .

Yet after all 't is a very great pity , that these sort of Mistrisses , do not bestow on these kind of servants Lace to their Coats , for sure they are fools enough to deserve it , and I see no reason why such who are so ambitious of their service , should refuse to wear their Liveries , and be out of Countenance to be known Fools by their Coats , when they are not asham'd to deserve that name by their actions .

Solomon says a slothful Man shall be covered with rags ; and so indeed ought such Men , who are dull and drowsie in the exercise of their own power , and over-active in their obedience to Womens , for which they well deserve to wear the Colours of their Mistrisses Soveraignity , and their slavery , on the ragg'd Fools Coat of their own simplicity .

Sure all such Men as will debase themselves into such an effeminate servitude , as to render it both easie and habitual to them , cannot pretend in the least to possess a noble or generous spirit , for that must be averse to it , since it makes a Man not ony unfit to serve his King and Country , ( the duty of every good Subject , ) but even to be useful to himself , and family . Whereas if young Men studied noble Sciences , instead of courting handsom Women , who can only divert their Time , probably corrupt their Lives , whereas the practice of vertue , and the study of Men and business , with other useful Sciences , will refine and strengthen their knowledge , fortifie prudence in their actions , kindle Magnanimity in their hearts , raise glorious desires in their minds , and so polish and regulate all the weighty actions of their lives , so as to render them fit to serve their Country , both in War and Peace , and themselves and families to boot , which advantage can never redound on either , by courting and serving beauty never so long , for meer beauty sake : And I wonder your beauty Courtiers do not observe , that great beauties seldom esteem , the long attendance , or great services of their Adorers as they ought , because they value more their own beauty than they should , which makes it common for such Women to ruin their Lovers liberty , to proclaim their own Soveraignty over it , and therefore sure it cannot appear very unreasonable , that such Men as will make themselves Slaves to Womens beauty , should pass for fools in sober Mens thoughts .

Indeed there 's one Law ( and but one Law I know ) which though a French one , yet as great lovers as our English Ladies are of the French fashions ; they are so far from esteeming or allowing it , as they will not endure so much as to hear it nam'd , and that 's called the Salick Law , which in France prohibits the female Sex from wearing the Breeches , and Reigning , which our high spirited governing Women in England , so hate the Name of , as there was a report , they were about calling a Parliament of Women , to vote it high Treason , against the Power of their present Government , to but name bringing that Law into England ; but as good fortune would have it , they could not agree among themselves about chusing a Speaker , for every one would be one , and knowing where all will speak aloud , none can be heard , they were necessitated in Prudence to dissolve that Parliament design .

But truly in my opinion , at the high rate of power Womens beauty now Governs , the Ladies have no cause to be concern'd , that the Breeches are not given to them by Act of Parliament , since it is freely bestowed on them by the Custom of the Country , and Custom you know makes Laws , and those as binding as any she Act of Parliament , since they are ratified and confirmed by the Major part of the Lords Spiritual and Temporal , as well as the Knights Burgesses , and Commons , who by many Signs and Tokens give great cause of fear , that they have submitted , in a perfect obedience to beauties Soveraign power and Wives Government over their Husbands .

Indeed for the Protestant Clergy , they must be concern'd parties and fellow sufferers , in the general Calamity of having Governing Wives : but for the Roman Clergy , they are quite free from that misery and servitude , because they must never Marry , so that they can be no concern'd parties , as to their own Wives , and therefore may be aiding and assisting in promoting , and confirming Wives in their Universal Monarchy over their poor Husbands , which they are briskly sayling towards with a too prosperous Gail . But I hope the Fates will protect poor Husbands , from such an unnatural , shameful , and Tyrannical kind of Government ; for if ever all Wives should attain to that Supremacy of Power , ( which but too many have already , ) Wives would then make such a total destruction of all Husbands authority over them , as the Wives Monarchy would be then as absolute in England , as that of the French King is now in France , and would make then their Husbands as great Fools , as that King do's now his ordinary Subjects Slaves : In short I really fancy , English Wives would be then as very resolute in maintaining their new Franchises over all their Husbands in England , as the Pope is now steady in destroying the old Franchises of all Ambassadors in Rome .

Then we must conclude , that Diogenes his Prophecy is fullfill'd , who order'd himself to be buried with his Face downward , saying , The World will turn upside down , and then he shall lie in his right place . Then we shall reckon as the old Germans and Gauls did , by Nights , not Days : Then we shall look on all Government , as we read Hebrew , that 's backward . Then that Verse shall be razed out of the Bible , that says the Woman is the weaker Vessel : Nor shall S. Pauls instruction to Titus when he left him in Crete , pass for good practical Doctrin , 1 Tim. 12. That young Women , are to be sober , discreet , and obedient to their Husbands , the Apostle thereby plainly implying , That a Wives obedience , is a Wives discretion , Then shall the old Men see Visions , and the young Men , ( especially the married ) dream Dreams .

And now I would gladly hear what sort of answer and interpretation , the Governing-spirit Ladies will make to the Question of our blessed Saviour , Can the Servant be greater than his Lord ? For surely Wives assuming power , cannot render them so over senseless , as to fancy he ask'd it as a Question of doubt , but spoke it as a thing of impossibility , that a Servant can be greater than his Lord , any more than a Son elder than his Father .

And now Women are about impossibilities , and vain dreams , methinks they ought to endeavour getting the Philosophers stone , for that would be very convenient to carry about in their Breeches Pockets , so that as they have now got the powerful knack , to change Men into Women , and their poor Husbands Rentals into Shop-books , so they may then by the vertue of the same Elixir , and the more powerful Charms of their own killing beauty , turn all Metal into Gold , as well as too many Wives now a days turn their silly Husbands Lands and Woods into rich Gownes , and fine Coaches . 'T was the saying of a great Roman ; ( who I fancy Married a kind of an English humor'd Wife ) that the Womens rich Gowns destroy'd more Men , than all the Enemies Arrows .

And now Reader , I am sure you must be tir'd as well as I am of this Subject of Womens Power , tho many Men are not of their subjection to it , and therefore I will now take leave of these great beauty adorers , for I cannot as they do , Dream with my Eyes open , nor can I spare them so much of my patience , as to wait for the Chimera issues of their Dreams , my design being only to write of , not to dwell on this Subject , and perhaps I have already not only writ more on it than I should , but sharper of it than I ought ; for considering how generally , as well as powerfully Women now wear the Breeches , 't is dangerous provoking them , especially having now in my mind the saying of a great Philosopher , Those that consider little ( as most Women do ) are apt to be angry soon .

And sure if wise Solomon in his days , when certainly the Women did not then pretend to half the power they now usurp , could prefer dwelling in a Wilderness , before living with an angry Woman , how cautious , nay fearful ought the writers of this subject to be in offending them , when their Anger is as fierce , as their power is great ; and in some Women , their passionate revengeful humor suitable to both : Therefore if the Apostle thought he had good reason to pray to be deliver'd from unreasonable Men , sure Men may also pray to be deliver'd from unreasonable Women .

And doubtless as it suits well with all the measures of true Reason , and good Policy , that those who Command , ought to be wiser than they who are to obey . And therefore Women ought not to use a Soveraignty over Mens Actions , whilst they are Subjects to their own Passions , and sure none can deny this Truth , that she who cannot Rule her self , is very unfit to Govern another .

But 't is full time for me to begin to relinquish the argument of this dangerous Subject , having spent time enough in dabling my Pen on the brinks of it , for I did not dare venture farther , for fear I could not get out of it , so strong and fierce , is the stream of female power , that like an unruly torrent it runs so violent , that I am afraid instead of making it my business to diswade you against it ; I fancy my securest way to defend my self is by a retreat from it ; for I find I can only act on this Subject , as good Pilots do in great Storms , who tho they cannot shew their power to make the winds obey them , yet they may shew their skill , in making the best use to have them prosperous . And so in Soldiership , in extremity of danger , a well made Retreat is as commendable , as a great Victory obtain'd , and deserves to be Crown'd with Laurel as well as with the Trophies of a great Conquest , and that Soldier , who has only Courage to make a bold Charge , and wants skill to make a good Retreat , has learn'd but half that belongs to the making of a great Captain : We read that Homer the King of Poets , praised Achilles for understanding the great Art , of knowing how , and when to run away conveniently : Adversity hath her Vertues , as well as Night has her Stars , and a great General may shew his good Conduct , in the midst of his bad fortune , and ill success . So I cannot but hope , that this my attempt in writing for the moderating Womens over-ruling power , was good , tho my success in accomplishing is but bad , and therefore I will give it over . And as Ships of War , fire Guns in their Retreat out of their Stern , so shall I here in the end of this Discourse , discharge in my Retreat this farther Consideration , That Wives over governing Power runs its Course quite contrary to the overflowing streams of the River Nilus , for that by it produces great advantage where e'er it goes , without letting any know from whence it comes ; but all Men , ( and in a most especial manner the Married , ) can tell by woful experience , that Womens overflowing power , in governing their Husbands , must and does produce sad effects , and shameful disorder where e're it goes .

And do but ask one of these mean-spirited Husbands , from whence his Wives governing power comes , and he cannot deny , but it flows from the same spring his mean effeminate humor does , in allowing it , usurpation ; and I am sure our father Adam , for being rul'd by his Wife , did justly receive , as well as truly deserve , Gods wrath , and punishment for it , and therefore surely all such mean , tame , pittiful govern'd Husbands , well deserve all sober Mens contempt and scorn as the just demerit of so shameful a condescension , which argues either their want of wit or manhood . And now the only hope of Reformation that appears to me on this particular is , that Solomon tells us , there 's a time for all things , a time to mourn , and a time to rejoyce ; so that there may be yet a time hereafter , for Wives to obey , as well as they have now to command , and when they will submit as they ought to their Husbands Government , then they will certainly deserve that praise and respect that is due to the honour of their Sex , and receive the admiration of all Mens just courtship and esteem : then may be presented on the Stage again , the old-fashion Play , so very long out of date , ( as few Husbands remember it was ever Acted , ) call'd Rule a Wife , and have a Wife , which indeed very few Husbands dare say they do , ( I mean before their Wives , ) and few would be believ'd if they really did , so rare and strange a thing is this thing call'd Wife obedience , as many believe 't is only to be found at John Tredeskins , among his Collections of Antiquities .

So that I must be forc'd to yield that this rare Woman temper of Wife obedience is a thing only to be hoped , not expected , and therefore I will not vainly strive as Xerxes did , to level Mountains , nor with Nero , attempt to alter the Course of the Sea ; but instead of endeavouring such impossibilities , I will now wisely resolve , neither to trouble my self , nor ruling Wives , to disswade them to lessen their governing power , which I am sure , would be a Task as hard for me to obtain , as that of Xerxes or Nero was to perform : Womens governing power , being so long and deep rooted an usurpation , possessed by so many Wives , and yielded to by so many Husbands , as long Custom has made it a Disease in most Husbands minds , incident like the infirmities of sickness or age to their bodies , which commonly has such distempers that attend it , that they are worthy of all Mens pity , tho' past all Mens cure : Therefore I will imitate your good Physitians , who esteem it unsafe to stir up those humors , they cannot possibly purge away , and upon this consideration I shall now muzle my Pen , and found a Retreat , esteeming it more wise and safe , to think much , rather than write more on this extensive and dangerous Subject .

THE FIFTH DISCOURSE , Of the inconstancy of most young Ladies , especially that are cry'd up beauties , and the folly of any one that believes he is fully acquainted , and solely possessed of a vain Ladies heart , and can give good reasons for the various motions of her Love-Changes .

I Cannot deny but that young Womens Company may be very advantageous , as well as agreeable to young Men , as being very useful to whet their Wit , to civilize their behaviour , and to polish their Discourses ; but yet they ought still to remember , that the Conversation of these vain young gay Ladies , is to be us'd but like Sawce to Meat , good to quicken the Stomack , but bad to make a Meal on , being to be taken like strong Cordials , not too much , nor too often , and therefore to make their visits so moderate , as not to keep longer in their Company than just to refresh and fit their minds for better employment , and by these means young Men may relish young Ladies Conversation with great gusto , and return to them with a no less vertuous than agreeable inclination .

But instead of observing these wise measures , most of our young Gallants , make Courting of handsom Women , not only their pastime , but their business , so as to wast all their Time , and use all their endeavors in the pursuit , and attempts of gaining every new handsom face they see , and if it be but new , it must be handsom and taking , if 't were only for being new , on the modish account of sweet variety .

And truly most of our vain Ladies fall not at all short of them in the same act of Inconstancy , but are as extravagantly foolish , and as little real as they , and therefore if 't were possible to perswade young Gallants and Ladies , but to allow themselves time seriously to consider this matter , I am apt to think first that Men would be asham'd of their folly to rely on the airy , fickle and inconstant humors of most of our vain modish Ladies , especially that are the cried up beauties , and these our fickle Ladies no less blush ( I mean if their Peeter would give them leave , ) at their indiscretion in receiving those high praises , and believing those great Complements , and often repeated Oaths , their young Gallants make them , when in real Truth , these Gallants are as much inconstant to their Mistrisses as their Mistrisses can be to them , and their perjured Vows of constancy on both sides , weigh as little in themselves , as the breath that speaks them , which immediatly vanishes into meer Air , without ever making the least return , their Tongues and Hearts being so great strangers , as there 's seldom any correspondence between them ; so that 't is most certain that such Men may very rationally extract out of Womens fickleness , this true Conclusion , that the more they confide , either on Chance , Fortune , or handsom Womens Constancy , ( which are all three now a days much alike , ) the more folly as well as falsehood they entertain in their relyance and depending on them .

Sir John Sucklin was a person of great Wit and Parts , and not only highly esteem'd of by the applauded witty Men , but by the handsom Ladies of his age , and was one who had made many Philosophical Essays , on the wavering nature , and various windings of many of the Ladies humors , and inclinations , as far as an extraordinary Wit , a plentiful Fortune , a liberal Mind , an open Purse , and a Venus heart , could carry him ; and after having employ'd all these , with all the care and industry imaginable , he found most young Womens hearts , so volatile and inconstant , and to come so far short of real Truth , as nothing can be farther , which occasion'd this noble Knight-Errant , to leave behind him in Print , this friendly Caution , that it might appear as publick , as young Womens inconstancy , or young Mens folly , who pretend to a perfect knowledge , and sole possession of a young beauties heart ; you that propound to your selves propriety in Love , know Womens hearts like straws do move , and that which you vainly think is Sympathy with you , is really but Love to Jet in general .

Indeed the most experienc'd Venus Philosophers , and enlightned Inspectors into the humors of most Womens hearts , and affections , are apt to make as gross oversights , in their guesses , and fancies of their making good Wives , or true Lovers , as the ablest Seamen do often commit mistakes in their sight at Sea , sometimes taking Land for Clouds , other times Clouds for Land .

Really the very best and most able Masters of Art , and most Critical Enquirers with their greatest observations , and pretences of knowledge as to the Motions of Ladies hearts , can only make such imperfect guesses and speculations as Astronomers do of the Operation of the Stars , which is but by the great ; they can give an account of the general order of Providence in their Stations and Motions , but can give no certain Rule , or true Measure to discern their Influences upon particular actions , or bodies , no more , than they can give a reason , ( other than Gods Will , ) why constant success attends this Mans undertakings , and a continued ill fortune waits on another Mans endeavors , or why a wicked cursed Tyrant should live out his Natural Life prosperously among his abused Vassals , and our highly excellent , and truly pious Martyr King Charles the first , of ever Blessed Memory , should be barbarously Murder'd by his own free Subjects ; which is a most clear and plain Lesson of instruction , not to Judg the true right of Causes , by the false light of successes , and therefore sober religious Men , freely own their ignorance as to the certain Causes , of the divers effects of Gods providence as to the event of things in this world ; there being such an infinity of Causes that depend on one another , that good and wise Christians esteem it their best and safest way , to live in a state of Neutrality , as to a pretending knowledge , of the effects of Gods providence in the Issues either of his Mercies or Judgments .

And truly if our young Gallants were as wise as they ought to be , they would also live in a State of Neutrality , as to their Judgment of the motions of young Ladies fancies , and be satisfied with these general notions , that their minds , and inclinations are generally bent towards men , who are young , handsom , rich , witty , high born , well bred , and the like ; but how to discern special Causes , for particular Occurrences , and to be able to tell the true reasons , and give the just measures , for Womens so often differing and varying in their Love fancies , is I believe beyond the power of Man to Judge ; some Women esteeming the black before the fair , others the fair before the black , in which few agree ; or this handsom Man before t'other , and sometimes an ugly Man before them both , Womens likings to Men , being like their mode of governing , who tho the power be still the same and certain , yet the manner of it is always changeable and inconstant .

I say in all these changes or rovings of fancy , the most knowing , and experienc'd Lovers , can make at very best but imperfect Guesses , almost as very uncertain as Womens Constancy , or young Mens Love ; which indeed is much of the nature of common Hay and Stubble , which a little spark lights , and a small time consumes ; young Men being more inconstant in their addresses , than very beauty in its duration , most of our young Gallants Love , being not able to keep up to the same degree of Elevation , as the short space wherein their Mistrisses beauty does : In a word , I think the best Wit , and most knowing Lover , cannot say better of the nature of Womens Love , than what S. Austin said of the nature of the Times , I fancy I know it , when no body bids me describe it , but find I am ignorant of it , when any does .

Truly few of our 〈◊〉 L●●●es , guide themselves in their Love choices by the clear Light , and true Rule of Reason , which occasions their being so often misled by the vain Love flashes of their present Airy fancy . And indeed when a young Mans alluring beauty , ( or what else you please to call it , ) attracts a young Womans sight , and thereby moves her fickle fancy , and inconstant likings , and so stamps a fierce , but hasty impression of Love on her tender slippery heart , which commonly makes the newest object , the richest prize , for indeed most of our modish Ladies Gallants are to them like the Fashions , where usually the last Commer , is best lik'd , and most us'd .

And the Jest of it is , that many of these changeable Ladies being so smitten , are apt to believe that this their last Love is the only true one , and that all their former Loves were but a kind of Mushrom Love , which sprung up in a Night as Mushroms do , without any Root ; but that this their present Love is built on good reason , and true consideration , and therefore shall be like the Laws of the Medes and Persians , unalterable , being so deeply engraven in their marble hearts as 't is never to be altered or worn out but by death , forgetting all the Changes they formerly made , and by the same Rule of Inconstancy they may hereafter make , according to the taking objects which new conversation may present , and that 't is possible , if not probable , that their present passion of Love that is so newly kindled and fully lighted , may in some farther time be swallow'd up , and extinguished by a more inviting beauty , that may present more charming and agreeable , and 't is most certain that the Love which possesses and inflames a young Ladies heart last , Eclipses all former fancies , as the Suns appearance darkens all other Lights , the Sun being to be seen by no other light but his own . In short , most Womens hearts , and Love vows of Constancy , are to be read but like strange Prophecies , which are to be understood , not by their Words , but by their Events .

Indeed most of our airy Ladies , are so volatile and fickle in their Amours , as not only their Eyes , hearts and inclinations , but their whole nature is so addicted to change and variety , as one might as easily fix Mercury , or make brickle Glass malleable , as to fix a young Womans humor , and love-fancy , so as not to break out into change and inconstancy , they being more fickle and changable , than the very Wind it self , for there are Trade Winds that blow still certainly one way all the Year , without ever altering from the same Point and Place ; but a vain Ladies Constancy , is not certainly to be found at any time , or in any place , their Love-humors being like the Camelions Colours , whose property is to have no certain one . So that 't is no wonder to find a young Woman that is inconstant , but a greater one to find one that is not ; the Earth being not more variable in all her Properties , nor the Heaven in all its Influences , than most of the vain great beauties are in their Love-fancies ; and sure if the Basis and ground-work of their whole Love-nature be sandy , the more Men foundation on their Constancy , ( I mean only in point of Love ) the more they expose themselves to their deceit , and consequently to creating their misery .

Therefore I am clearly of opinion , that as to Ladies Constancy , when the greatest Criticks have made their most studious Observations , and Essay'd their most subtil experiments , on all the points of Loves Compass , they must own their Ignorance touching the various ways and diversity of motions of Womens minds , since Love often works upon their Imaginations , and flies to their Hearts , as Blushes do to their Faces , which they can neither command their going , or hinder their coming , since they still go and come at their own rate ; therefore I am fully of opinion , that the most able Artists , Naturalists , and Venus Philosophers with all their speculative Rules and Measures , ought to strike Sail , and yield to common practical experience , as to the Choices of young Womens several fancies in their Love-likings ; and to grant that Mens best Logick will be to Argue , in most young Womens way of Arguing , 'T is so , because 't is so .

Since then the discovery of the Ebbing and Flowing of young Womens hearts and minds , are like that of the Sea , a wonderful Motion , exposed to the publick view of all , but conceal'd from the true knowledg of any , for one may as rationally hope to find the Philosophers Stone , that turns all Metals into Gold , as to find the Art of turning all young Ladies Love-fancies so as to meet in one Centre of Constancy ; which is as impossible as to be able to measure the Sea with your Span , or what 's as feasible , to fathom the depth of a young Womans inclinations , with the Plummet of your reason , their changable Love being as very far from true certainty , as almost the drop of Ink that writes this is from the Ocean : Therefore I shall end this Discourse with this serious Consideration , and Resolution , that since 't is not in the power of Man to find it out , fairly to leave it as such , and hereafter only to wonder , at ones wondring , at my not being able to discover the various humors , and intricate windings of young Womens minds at all times , when few of them know their own at any time .

THE SIXTH DISCOURSE , Of Marriage , and Wives who usurp a governing Power over their Husbands , which is now so common , as it 's become almost the general grievance of the Nation .

THere are of Wives , as of most other things , two sorts , the good and the bad ; the good presents the Husband with much happiness , and great Content ; and the bad creates as much misery and dissatisfaction : The first is a kind of Heaven , the second a sort of Hell upon Earth , for there can be no Purgatory seated in the mid way between them ; for out of Purgatory 't is possible to be redeem'd for Mony , but from Marriage 't is impossible to be ransom'd but by death . All I shall say of Purgatory is , that if there 's such a Place , ( which I cannot believe ) tho' it may be much visited , yet I fancy 't is little inhabited , because such as have Mony may buy themselves out of it , and those that have none , are not worth keeping in it .

I shall here only name some of the main ingredients that go to make up the Composition of a real happy Marriage , to compleat which there must be on both sides , hearty love , and true liking ; that so they may joyn their Hearts , as well as the Minister does their Hands , and as their Marriage Vow makes them tho two , but one Flesh ; so it must make them both , to be but of one Mind , and one Concern , which is , to please one another ; and to this good Consort of Humors , and Inclinations , there must be added a like degree of Age , and a suitable manner of breeding as well as an equality of Families and Fortunes , and all these Flowers are to be bound up into a sweet and well made Nosegay , by a fervent Zeal , and a holy love to Piety and Vertue , for without a mixture of these , the Married Couple , do but found their happiness on the Sand , and build all their hopes of Content , with untempered Mortar ; for tho 't is as true as common , that meer beauties do often breed great fondness , yet it can never create true Love ; for beauty is but the slight fading varnish of the Face which soon wears off , but Vertue is the substantial lasting beauty of the Mind , and makes a handsom fine Lady , like the Kings Daughter all glorious within , and preserves her Marriage Love in a sweet , and perfect Harmony , without which , it can have no duration , but must soon fade , and ravel out into change and inconstancy .

And now I must tell you , I know not certainly where to direct you to find the great rarity of such a happy well match'd Couple ; but this I know , that where e'er they are to be found about this Kingdom , 't is a thousand pities that death should ever take them out of it because they are so very hard to be found in it .

And now I have nam'd some of the principal Ingredients , that are absolutely necessary to compleat a happy Marriage , I hope I shall not need here name any of those great Faults , and ill Humors , which go to the making up the Composition of a bad Wife , but shall refer you to the next Husband you meet , and know , who can certainly tell you by woful experience some of them that his Wife has , and the next you inquire after may tell you more , for every Husband can tell you more or less of his Wives faults ; for there is no Husband but knows some , and 't is well if she has not some more than he knows , so that I shall only need tell you here by whole-sail , that as many Figures joyn'd together make a great Sum , so many great Faults and cross peevish ill humors united in one Woman make an ill Wife .

Now if you would know the difference between such Husbands , who esteem themselves in their Wives very happy , and those that believe themselves to be made by them very miserable . Of the first kind , the Husband thinks , as good as his Wife is , that there cannot be a Wife that has no fault , the other thinks that there can be no fault , but what his Wife has ; so that the sum total of this difference is easily cast up in these few words , as to the belief that good , and bad Husbands have of their Wives faults , that all Wives have some , and some Wives have all .

But this truth , neither the good or bad Husband can deny , that tho there are as well bad as good successes in Mens choice of Wives , and Wives choice of Husbands , yet that does not at all lessen , or take from , the holy Institution of Marriage ; which is pure and comfortable in it self , tho more are made miserable than happy by it , Marriage being a Sacred Order , not only as old as our father Adam , but almost as Nature her self , for it began with the World , and is not like to end but with it , and can truly boast , both of the greatest Antiquity for its Parent , and the first rank of Miracles for its honour ; for Scripture tells us , that the first Miracle our blessed Saviour did in Canaa was at a Wedding , and we read in Genesis , that God had no sooner finished Creating the World , but he presently acted a Miracle in it , by making a Marriage , for the perfection of which , he miraculously divided one body into two , and united two bodies into one .

And in those blessed days of purity and innocency , before sin began to reign in the World , God the great Maker , and wise disposer of all things , thought one Husband sufficient for one Wife , and one Wife for one Husband ; but in our wicked Age of excess , wantonness and inconstancy , there are crowds of Men and Women that list themselves into the holy Order of Matrimony , that will not confine themselves to those limited bounds which God himself gave , and they themselves vow'd to keep , but will rather choose those Adulterous courses God has forbid , than use those lawful means , which God has given by Marriage : But 't is a sin descends to us from our father Adam ; to leave all the lawful fruit in the Garden , to eat of the forbidden Tree .

And now I fancy it need not pass for Raillery , or a meer Romantick expression , to say , 'T would be now another Wedding Miracle in England , to see our vain modish Ladies as just and obedient to their Husbands as they ought to be , or indeed our foppish young Gallants , as kind , and constant to their Wives as they should be ; for we are got into such a Brood of ill Wives , and bad Husbands , they commonly hunt in Couples , one still helping to make the other as infamous as they can , and so as many of the bad Wives think one Husband too little , so many of these ill Husbands think one Wife too much .

Now if any wonder at this new fashion , of ranking in writing , the Wife before the Husband , I fancy they will not much admire at it , when I tell them my reason is , because 't is the Wives right from the very beginning of the World , to take place and go before her Husband ; but yet you ought not to be either pleas'd or proud of it , when I remember you in what manner you took place , and went before your Husband , which was only in sinful disobedience , a misery Wives ought ever to mourn for , but never to boast of , and which is so far from a new fashion , as we may read in Scripture 't is as very old as the first Woman , and afforded Adam no other excuse for his being perswaded to disobedience by his Wife , than that the Woman beguiled me , and I did eat .

S. Paul orders the Wife to be subject to her Husband , and gives this reason for it , for first Adam was made , then Eve , to shew 't is the Mans place to go first , and the Woman to follow the Man , and not the Man to follow the Woman , so that 't is most clear by the Law of God , the Woman was made for the Man , and formed the weaker Vessel ; but by our new English practice , it seems to pass for good currant modish doctrin , that the Man was created for the Woman , and made the weaker Vessel , else sure Men would never endure , that so very many Wives should rule their Husbands , and so very few Husbands should govern their Wives .

The subtil Lawyers that can talk the craftiest Men out of their mony ; ( some giving them indeed only but talk for their mony ) cannot yet talk their Wives into due obedience , many of them only laughing at their Husbands threats of bringing Writs of Errors , and Actions of Trespass , against them , for usurping and practising an unlawful governing power over them , which tho contrary to Magna Charta , and the fundamental Law of this Kingdom , and all other Laws whatsoever , except that of Custom , yet Lawyers Wives will keep this Law in full force , ( I am sure they cannot say , and vertue ) for they break all Laws , both divine and human by it .

Nor can our Ministers with all their Canonical gravity , Divine Rhetorick , and eloquent Preaching , teach their Wives so effectually S. Pauls lesson of submission as to make them pay them so much as the Tythe of obedience , for if they could , sure they would never suffer them to wear such rich Clothes , which is not only unsuitable to the gravity and decency of a Clergy Mans Wife , but very contradictory to the Apostle Pauls doctrin , who orders in general all Women , and sure Ministers Wives above all , not to adorn themselves with rich , but modest Apparel ; nor can our great Merchants that Plow the Seas with their Ships to all Kingdoms of the World , in all their long Voyages , and great dealings , purchase any considerable quantity of this rare Commodity , call'd Wife obedience , and let me tell them , not for their comfort , if they can buy none of it abroad , they will hardly find any given them at home .

Nay I may yet go farther , and say , that the greatest , and most wise Statesmen with all their Politicks , cannot make their Wives pay them their just obedience , and I fancy their Husbands esteem it a great part of their wisdom and prudence not to expect it , because probably they in great wisdom do seriously reflect on the state of their Adam , who though he had all the Wit and Wisdom , Policy and Power , of the whole World solely and intirely in himself , yet when he got a Wife , or rather a Wife got him , we all know to his high shame , and our great misery , that she govern'd him , not he her ; by which all Husbands may receive this small Consolation , that Wives usurping the Government , is no new Error , but as old almost as the Creation .

All I shall say to our Nobility and Gentry on this sad Subject of Wives governing their Husbands , is only to desire most of them to lay their hands on their Hearts , and then tell me if seeing is not believing . In truth one need go no farther than the Streets to meet many Men that do not govern their Wives , but one must travel the whole Kingdom over to meet a few that do .

We find that Springs which move only by the meer course of Nature , will mount no higher than their Heads , because 't is against Nature to do it , and if we may believe S. Paul , and he is no good Christian that does not , he tells us that the Husband is the head of the Wife , and if the Wife will but believe that , sure she cannot tell how to deny this , that Africa it self , can produce nothing more monstrous , than for a Woman to grow above her head , which being the uppermost part of the body , nothing can grow above it , for if it did , then it cannot be the uppermost part . Sure such silly beast-like Husbands , that do not know their own strength , and so allow the Prerogative power of Governing to be in the Wife , could never wonder at Balaam's Prodigy , that the Beast should be wiser than the Rider .

Certainly this sort of Wives that make it their Practice , and believe it their right , to exercise a Sovereignty over their Husbands , never read , or forgot they ever did , S. Pauls doctrin , I suffer not the Woman to exercise an authority over the Man , God first Created Male , then Female , Gods command to the Wife to be subject to her Husband , was given as long ago as the first Woman , and really I believe , 't will be as long hence as the last Wife , before it be strictly observ'd by a general concurrence of obedience , if one may judge of all Wives , by the common rate most now adays govern at , and what 's worse , are like to do , for 't is most certain , that long Custom makes a firm Law , and what Men are long acquainted with , they are usually well contented at .

I have heard some of those high-spirited governing Wives , that have been so wickedly foolish , as to borrow some of the Devils sophistry to argue with , that because the Command of Wife obedience , is as old as the first Woman , and was then only given to one Woman , and that beyond the memory of any Man , that therefore it ought now to be out of the practice of all Women of our times , especially of such as are modish and witty , and consequently unfit for them to follow ; but those that instead of paying obedience , make it their sport to railly at Gods Commands , let such expect that Gods Judgment without raillery will follow them ; be not deceived , God will not be mocked .

There was among this Hectoring brood of Women , a Parson's Wife that govern'd her Husband , as too many of them do , but could not govern her Tongue , as too many of them do not , who was so very senseless , as to ask in a jeering ranting manner a grave learned Minister that came to visit her Husband who was not very well , ( and indeed no wonder , for his brains were never well in their right order since his Wife first govern'd him ) what S. Paul could mean by that saying , the Woman is the weaker Vessel . To which the learned Minister gravely reply'd , Truly Madam Governess what the Apostle meant I know not , except your Sex was the weaker Vessel in discretion and Continency .

Indeed 't were much better for these high-spirited governing Wives , to consider how they can exempt themselves of that great profaneness of daring to vie Miracles with the Almighty , as in effect all governing Wives do , for as God wrought a Miracle by taking the Woman out of the Man , so they would act another , by turning the Man into the Woman ; but Miracles are ceased , and I wish for the public good that all governing Wives power were so too ; but if that were , some may object , that then Miracles cannot be ceased , since that would be a new and great Miracle indeed .

Really if Wives were but as wise as they ought , then they would consider as they should do , and constantly observe , what they cannot but still truly believe , that 't is Gods positive Command , that the Wife should be in subjection to her Husband .

And now if I should ask one of these ranting governing Wives , this Question , how she can pretend to exempt her self from the foul fact , of beheading her Husband ; I really believe it would puzle her to give a rational and satisfactory answer , for if the Apostle S. Paul by saying the Husband is the head of the Wife , means that the Husband as head has the governing power over the Wife , which certainly is the true sense of these words , and no Wife that has sence can deny it ; then the Head signifying the Power , and the Power the Head , this conclusion must necessarily of course follow . That the Head being the Husbands governing Power , the Wife that cuts off the Husbands governing Power , cuts off the Husbands head , for if she will allow the first , she can hardly deny the latter ; but I shall end this Discourse , and seriously conclude , that if Husbands were as wise as they ought , governing Wives would not be so numerous as they are , nor rule so much as they do ; for then Men would never yield up so tamely and meanly their birthright of governing power , which the Law both of God and Man , ( and I wish I could say the Law of Custom too , ) has given the Husband over the Wife , that so it might become hereafter as strange in England to hear of a Wife that does govern her Husband , as now 't is to hear of a Wife that does not ; and that governing Wives may be as very scarce , as now they are very common , and as much out of fashion , as now they are in .

But methinks I hear some blaming me for being unreasonably severe , in writing against governing Wives in general , when I cannot but own that there are some governing Wives that for being so , are not blameable , but commendable , which are such prudent sober Women , as are Married to foolish sottish Men , who if their Wives did not govern , they could not govern themselves , and so their great noble Estates would soon be wasted , and moulder away into a foolish and shameful ruin ; which by their Wives wise and discreet management is prevented . To which I answer , that there 's no general Rule without an exception , and besides I do not design this Discourse against such governing Wives , as find their Husbands fools , but against those Wives as make their Husbands such meerly by their governing them ; but if a Husband be so foolishly blind in his Judgment , as he cannot see the right way to order his Person , and Estate , 't is a necessary duty and kindness of his Wife to govern him , and his fortune , and to lead him out of all the dangers and inconveniencies he might run both it , and himself into , and such a Wife deserves no more blame , for governing such a Husband , than a Servant does for leading about his Master , and shewing him the way , when he cannot see to find it being quite blind : But yet this governing power a Wife must perform with great respect and civility to her Husband , by lessening , and sheltering his weakness to all persons as much as possibly she can , that all may see , the occasion of her Governing is not an Act of Pride , but a Work of pure necessity ; not her delight , but trouble . In a word , she must be very far from saying of her Husband , what a ranting Widow did , that had three Husbands and govern'd them all , and for her fourth she chose a meer Fool , and being ask'd her reason , she answer'd , she was grown Lazy , and therefore Married a Fool , to save her self the trouble of making him one .

THE SEVENTH DISCOURSE , Of the Inequality of many Marriages , and the Inconstancy of most Wives , that Men Marry for meer Beauty , or their Parents Match for bare Mony , with the sad end that usually attends such Matches .

IN my Opinion , the great reason why disagreeing Marriages are now grown so rife , is because unequal Matches are now become so common , most Parents making it more their business to Match well Portions and Estates , than Sons and Daughters ; and so their Fortunes do but suit well , no matter if their Age , Humors , and Inclinations agree ill ; many Parents making it more their concern to provide their Children plenty of Livelihood , than contentedness of Living , being much more taken with a great Gingling of Guinnies , than with a Sweet Consort of Vertues , or a good Pedigree of Gentility , which occasions some fine great Ladies to have rich Husbands , and fair Estates , and yet but bad Fortunes , to be well Married , and yet but ill Match'd , because they do not fancy , and so are not satisfied with one another .

Content and Happiness are Twins , born out of the same Womb , and spring out of the same Root , and none can be content with what he does not like , no more than discontented with what he does ; for if he likes , he must be content , else he does not like . And 't is also the same , where there 's no Content , there can be no Love ; for if he loves he must be content with what he Loves , else he does not Love , and where there 's no Content and liking , there can hardly be any true Constancy , for none can affect a Constancy to that they do not like , but their Mind is still in pursuit after that they do .

Most Parents in Marrying their Children , are sure to remember Solomon's saying , That Mony answers all things , but forget his meaning , that is purchasable with it ; for several young Ladies that are richly Married , can tell by woful experience , that much Mony cannot still buy true Content , since many of them have little content , in the midst of their much Mony .

And farther , common experience , which is usually the effect of reason , assures us that it cannot purchase many things , as to give sight to the Blind , or Youth to the Aged , or what 's equally impossible as both , to create Love against liking . 'T is true indeed that Guinnies do often tye a fast Matrimonial Knot , but of themselves can never tye a true Lovers one , since no Medicine that has not a mixture of the Sympathetick Powder , can operate kindly on young Womens minds ; for as nothing can force a Mans belief contrary to his own reason , so nothing can compel a Womans Love against her own liking . 'T is true one may be forced to obey at the rate of a Tyrants Will , but 't is as true that none can believe or Love but proportionable to their own reason or fancy , which made the great Tyrant Nero say , that he had much rather be fear'd , than lov'd ; because said he , they that fear me , fear me after my rate , but those that love me , love me after their own .

Indeed most of these Matches that are made up on the account of Interest , and not Love , their kindness is but like a Winters Sun , faint , and of no duration , and tho it may now and then in some time of the Day , shine bright and clear to the Eyes of Spectators , yet it carries no true heat with it , and therefore can never bring forth any ripe fruit of true content or satisfaction ; and indeed no wonder since such a Winter Sun's Love can produce none of the pleasant Fruit of Marriage delights , when the Days civilities between them are very Faint , and the Night Embraces very Cold ; for these Matches of meer Conveniency , that are made up only for great sums of Mony , or meer fanciful beauty , no sooner that the Wives beauty is gone , or the Husbands Mony spent , ( they being the only Cement , that fastned a common civility between them , ) but the unbeautiful Wife appears disagreeable to her Husband . And the Monyless Husband , seems contemptible to the Wife , and both Husband and Wife , become not only unpleasing , but despisable the one to the other .

There was an Italian that writ a great Book in praise of good Wives , and concluded there was but one good Wife in all the world , and said that was enough for all , since every Husband that truly lov'd his Wife , might fancy 't was her ; but by the Italians leave , tho one good Wife that is trusted abroad , is more by one , than is in all Italy , for no Husband in that Jealous Country will venture on the desperate Experiment , of trusting his Wife abroad in Mens Company , to try whether she be vertuous or not , much of the Wives Chastity there depending on their Husbands strict watchfulness over them ; the Italians esteeming it a most excellent and Sovereign Antidote to hinder their Wives from becoming kind to Men , is to prevent Mens being able to come to be kind to their Wives ; for every Italian carries still about him , this old English Proverb , That 't is the occasion makes the Thief , nay and observes it with more reverence and punctuality , than all the Proverbs of Solomon together .

But in England there are many vertuous Wives , that go where they will , and keep what Mens company they please ; but this great trust of free liberty , is not convenient to be extended to all Women , since sometimes Husbands by it , shew more confidence in their Wives , than discretion in themselves ; and as too much liberty spoils some Wives , so a strict watchful Jealousie , makes many Wives worse than they would be , by believing them worse than they truly are ; for doubtless many Husbands make their Wives dishonest by mistrusting them ; for that breeds anger , and hatred , and they often create revenge , which some hot Womanish spirits will act upon any account , tho they themselves are the greatest sufferers by it .

I esteem Jealousie to be a most ridiculous folly , not only because Jealous Men , eagerly seek , what they highly dread to find ; but if a Man had more Eyes than Argos , yet as Argos was , he may be deceiv'd by a simple Woman ; for if a Woman will but put on the wickedness of the Devil , she will not fail being furnished with the subtilty of the Serpent .

And therefore it often happens , that great and wise Statesmen in the Politicks of Marriage , who trust in their Wives vertuous words , great modesty , and strict outward behaviour , may be deceiv'd ; for unvertuous thoughts and designs are usually disguised and set out in finer expressions , than plain honest dealing , and those commonly promise most , that mean to perform least , because they intend to pay in no other Coin than bare words and false assurances ; and therefore none ought to wonder if great Politicians as well as others , are now and then deceiv'd in their Wives vertue . We read that Sampson with all his Strength , tho he could not be out-witted by all the Philistines , was over-reached by the subtilty of a Woman .

A strict seeming outward modesty , is not still an infallible sign of a Wives true inward Vertue ; since 't is not extraordinary to see a Woman look like a Saint before Company , and act like a Miss in private ; for many handsom Women , that are of a good coming and melting nature , assoon as you are a little advanced into their acquaintance , and favour , yet seem very coy and severe at first entrance into it , imitating the Sea , which tho never so quiet and calm in the main , yet still casteth out rough waves near the shore .

And now , whatsoever men may think of me , I am sure my meaning is truly friendly , in advising them , that if they are in the happy state of freedom , not to yoak their Liberty in Marriage for meer Beauty , or bare Mony , but chiefly for vertue and goodness ; for if you but consider seriously , you will find certainly , that the misery of an ill Wife , is no new affliction , but as very an old one as Marriage , and almost Nature it self , witness Adam who lived in a continued innocency , and felicity whilst he remained in the Paradice of a single Life , but he was no sooner Married to Eve , but he was cast out of both .

And 't is most certain , let your Love range over Court , Town and Country , nay ramble over the whole World , you can never choose a Wife , that is not her Daughter ; and common experience tells us , that there are few Daughters that do not favour something of their Mothers humor , as well as nature , and therefore 't will be highly prudential in this sad and weighty affair , to consider that Marrying a bad Wife , ( as 't is more than an even Lay one does , ) has something in it of the nature of that sin , for which men can have no repentance or pardon , no more than they can have any ease , or relief for it while they live ; for one may as well pretend to free Deaths Prisoners from the Grave , as unchain the Married during their Lives ; no Skill of the greatest Artist , nor yet Argument of the most subtile Socinian , can ever evade or loose a Wedding Knot , it being of an extraordinary lasting Union , quite differing from all others , for Men can unbind all others whilst they live , but a Marriage Vow , can only be unbound by death it self .

And now I have given you this part of my Opinion as to meer Mony , or beauty Marriages , which many Husbands may truly call in the Apostles phrase , ( tho spoke in another and more divine sense , ) That Labor of Love . I hope 't will not appear an extraordinary fault , in saying it . S. Paul had foreseen the Romantic Gallantry , and extravagant folly , ( I think , I might have said madness , ) of many Marriages made now adays , which some of our vain inconsiderate Ladies are drawn into , by the common report , that such a Man has a great Estate , which suits well with her eager desire to keep a Coach and six Horses , ( which she vainly fancies , will not only carry her thorow all the miseries of Marriage , but into the Towring pastime of the Park ) without the least concern of getting a good prudent sober religious Husband , many of them not valuing , or at least not considering other , than the keeping a splendid Retinue , and glittering train of Liveries , than wearing rich Clothes adorn'd with Gold , and costly Pearl , when there are a hundred more weighty concerns , that are more needful Appendencies to compleat a happy Marriage .

Really this is one of the chief Causes why such Marriage Love decays , and wears out with their Wedding Coaches , and is as often out of order as they , ( 't were well if they still could be as easily mended ) which none ought to wonder at , it being but natural for effects to follow their Causes .

Among all the great and extravagant follies that are used in the inequalities of Marriages in our days , there 's none appears to me more irrational and unnatural , than an old Mans Marrying a young Woman , which in my Opinion seems a Match fitter to make sport for others , than to raise joy to themselves ; for an old Man is to his young Wifes Bed , but like juice of Orange to her Stomack ; it may create in her an Appetite , but of it self can never satisfie it ; such an old Man being not only unsuitable , undecent , but unwholesom too , being to her like a March Sun , which all the great Physitians concur in opinion , to be very unhealthful , as having only strength to exhale Humors , but wants force to dissolve them ; so that such a Match is so great a folly , as I shall only here need name one shameful misery that commonly attends it , and indeed I need name I think no other , either to fortifie my opinion against it , or to set out ones misery for doing it , which is this , That an old Man that Marries a handsom young Woman , tho his Wife may be so vertuous as not to Cuckold him , yet the world is so wicked in its reports to Censure him , so as it will always ; which minds me of a story of a Gentleman , whom both his Wife , and Neighbours agreed to proclaim the truth of his being a Cuckold , and she dying , he Married an old ugly rigid Puritan , that was so odiously deformed as he was satisfied , she wanted Power , and the world Charity enough to Cuckold him , for 't was impossible there could be a spark of Love , or liking in the Case , and he did believe that this Wife would not only be a perfect Antidote against horns for the time to come , but a Remedy for what was past ; but one of his Neighbours being of a contrary belief call'd him Cuckold , upon which he repaired to his learned Counsellor in the Law , to know if his present Wife being honest , ( though his former was not so , ) whether he was still a Cuckold , or not ? to which his learned Lawyer gravely answered him , That tho he was not one in pure strictness of Law , yet being once so , the Custom of the Country , was so civil as to give him the Title during his Life .

And now I have given you my opinion , and told you the usual fate that attends old Mens Marrying young Women ; next comes that of young Womens Marrying old Men , and tho they appear both alike foolish , yet there 's great difference in their folly , for as by this sort of Matches , old Men glut themselves with much more of the Woman than their age wants ; so young Wives ( if vertuous ) stint themselves with much less of the Husband than their Youth needs , and besides tho Marriage has the power tounite two Bodies into one Flesh , yet it wants that of uniting the two Fleshes into one temper or Constitution ; for a young Wife that is in the Spring of her age , is like the Sun in the Spring of the Year , it not only gets the ascendant every day higher and higher , but grows every day more strong and vigorous ; but an old Husband , is like Autumn , whose strength goes only downward .

Therefore I fancy an old Man Marrying a handsom young Lady , has nothing to plead , but Guilty ; but a young Lady for Marrying an old Man , may have some colourable excuse , to moderate the folly , and lessen the shame of such an unequal Match ; for perhaps she 'll tell you , she has heard a story , which if as true as strange is a rare one , That the reason that Stags live so very long , is , that when they find themselves to decay , they swallow a live Serpent , and as it consumes in their body , they revive in their strength and Spirits . So possibly a young Woman will say , That she did not Marry an old Man for being rich in Years , but Mony , and because she found her Fortune decaying , and almost quite decayed ; therefore she swallowed a Marriage with an old Man , as the Stag does a Serpent , in hopes that as her Husband consumes and dies in her bosom , so she may revive in her sprightly gay humor , and please her self with the delightful thoughts of the wealth he will leave her , and the ways she will Intrigue to spend it in the fanciful hopes she has , of suddenly gaining a young Husband suitable both to her Youth , and aiery Inclinations .

There is another sort of Women , but indeed their number is very small , who being not handsom in their own opinion , and therefore may besafely concluded very ugly in that of all others , who to supply the defects of nature and age , give out they are very rich , and that they hope will make amends for all , Gold being always young , handsom and taking , to all sorts of Men , and Ages , for Mony answers all things , and by these reports of their Wealth , tho often false , they decoy young Fops who have lost their Annuity at Play , or spent it in Debauchery , to Court them for their fame of having much Mony , and too eagerly press the Marrying them for it , Swearing that they Love their persons more than their Mony , valuing them a thousand times before it ; and no wonder that they that swear so commonly for nothing , should now lye for much Mony ; for in real truth they only put the Widow before the Mony , as we do in common speaking , the Box before the Jewels , which though first , is altogether inconsiderable to the latter , as only containing that Riches , which it self makes no part of .

And many of these old rich Widows are so doatingly senseless , that because their Mony Courters , swear they are handsom , they verily believe they are so , and credit others words before their own eyes , tho their spectacles are on , which renders some so sottishly impudent , as to tell their Gallants , that tho their beauty is in the fall of the Leaf , yet Autumn can breed Lovers as well as the Spring does , when in truth , an old withered Autumn face , does but Chill the blood , and dispirit the vigour of the most active and resolute Courtier ; and therefore a Spring beauty can only enflame the heart , and tho possibly a young Man may be sometimes foolishly taken with an old Womans great wit , good humor , or rather greater riches ; yet 't is , I think , impossible he can be really in Love with her deform'd face , person , or age , which must quench the fire of any amorous flames in a youthful or vigorous heart .

Therefore I shall advise all such Women , to be so prudent as to yield to the seasons of Age , as they must to that of the Year , and not hope to turn Winter into Summer , or Autumn into Spring ; but instead of striving for what 's impossible , yield to what 's reasonable , and submit to these true Measures , That Eighteen is the gay sprightly blossom age that a young Womans Life shines out in its brightest splendor and beauty : That Thirty is the stale year of a Maid , and the worst age of a Wife , ( I mean that 's an ill one , ) because a Wife at Thirty is old enough to be ugly , and young enough to live long ; but a Woman that is so far advanced in years as the frigid Zone of Sixty , ought in all reason to banish all vain Love thoughts , as to the youthful pleasures of this world , and to fix them on the other , so as to live only in order to die , imitating the good old Woman named in the Gospel , Luke 2.37 . Who kept in the Temple , who fasted and prayed to God night and day .

Indeed it becomes old Women much better to frequent the Church with the good old Godly Matrons so renown'd for gravity and religion in former days , than to visit the Park or the Play , with their vain young Gallants , lest their old Dress , and Antick Faces , should make Men say , such a one is more fit to be a Spectacle , than a Spectator ; wants good Mens Prayers , rather than young Mens Praises ; and is more apt to create thoughts of Mortality , than to raise motions of Love ; really I am of opinion that if 't were possible to turn beauty into the same nature of content , that the little Kingdom of England would swarm now more with handsom Women , than the Country of Palestine did ever with fighting Men , of which Scripture makes mention of many hundred thousands , for than every ugly Woman , young or old , as thought her self handsom , ( as most do , ) must be really handsom only for think it , as well as all those that believe themselves Content must be Content , or else they could not believe themselves so ; therefore all old , and ugly Women , that are not past all years of discretion , tho they are of beauty , should never strive for impossibilities , for youth will assoon come to the aged , as beauty to the ugly ; but since beauty will not come to content you , be you content without it , and strive for that you may obtain , which is the beauty of holiness , which infinitely excels all others , it being much better to live well , than look so , and to have a good soul , than a fine face , that being earthly and ever fading , but a pure soul is heavenly , and never decays being everlasting .

In short , that Man who is so simple to Marry great Age for meer Mony , when that 's spent , ( and you know that Mony , like Love , cannot always last ) all the use of consolation I can think of , is to send for a Minister to give him some spiritual advice , of which he may perchance receive some to ease the trouble of his mind , but as to the bodily distemper or plague of his broken infirmity I am sure there can be no remedy , but that of death ; for indeed it may be fitly said , of a young Mans Marrying an old ugly Woman , what the Apostle said of a greater folly in another sense , be that doth so , offends against his own body , and truly such a one hath in my opinion , no other plea left him to excuse his folly , than Adam had to excuse his first Sin , The Woman beguiled me ; I say in Cases like this possibly S. Paul might have thought it equal , for so indeed it is , things rightly considered , for such men to suffer , or rather indeed conquer the disturbance of a lustful burning , than endure the plague , and continual misery of an ill old ugly Wife , that can neither please the fancy , nor satisfie the appetite , and therefore coming to such a sad Marriage , is like coming to the age of fourscore , after which experience tells us , there 's only Labour , Infirmity , and Sorrow , young Husbands , and old Wives , being but meer names , things of form , not use , only made to torment one another , Living in one House , but Lying in two Beds , for the old Wife would have what the young Husband will not give , and the old Wife cannot give what the young Husband would have ; in short a bad Wife at Land , is like a Storm at Sea , which because a Man is so unhappy to be engaged in , and cannot be rid of it , must be suffer'd out with patience .

And so I have done with old Wives , for I am certain the Reader must be weary of them , as well as I am sure the Writer is , and therefore I will leave this extream of old Age , and treat on that of young beauty , and the folly of them , that Marry meerly for it , and here set you down in a few Lines , the common degrees , usual accesses , and woful events , of such hot , rash , hasty , meer beauty Marriages , as are now in fashion among many of our young Gallants , who choose Wives as the silly Indians do our Merchants Tynsel and Bawbles , who value their real worth only by their glittering show .

The first steps and degrees of a young Gallants growing love and fancy to his Mistris are generally these ; first he likes the Woman as we say in a Lump , or by whole-sale , then he admires her beauties apart , courts her person , loves her humor , thinks all she says is witty , and all she does is graceful and becoming , and all her actions agreeable and excellent , though possibly not one of them are so ; for you must know that beauty in Love , is like Charity in Religion , it covereth a multitude of faults . Then he presents his heart , and she becomes the sole Mistris of it , and as his passion increases , so he fancies her beauty does , till at last he believes the scorching flames of her beauty , to be more insupportable than a Midsummers Sun , in its full meridian heat and strength ; and therefore resolves to follow S. Paul's advice , 'T is better to Marry than Burn ; but then pray take this Caution with you , that tho of two evils , 't is best to choose the least , yet that argues neither to be good , ( as indeed it was not , when S. Paul first spoke those words , ) and in some sense may not be so now , yet however our fierce Lovers heart being all a fire , his mind thereby grows restless , and as very much out of order as his reason , ( if a Man in Love has any , ) for to say a passionate Lover that has lost his heart , and can yet keep his reason , is the greatest of follies , next to that of being so in Love .

But since our Amorous Gallant is so furiously smitten , rather than not quench the Amorous scorching flames of his lustful passion , she resolving not to admit him to her Bed , in any other shape , than that of a Husband , not confiding at all in his Vows of speedily Marrying her , possibly because she had tried anothers word before , and he broke it , and deceiv'd her , and therefore she resolv'd not to be cozened so a second time , by a second Tryal ; our hot Politick Lover , to enjoy the momentary delight of embracing her beauty , does with much desperatness , and little consideration , cast himself down that dangerous Precipice of Matrimony , and long-liv'd trouble of a Wife , tho he buy her at the dearest rate of Purchasing , and it may be worse sort of sooling an ill Marriage , a very sad bottom to Insure the content and happiness of a Mans life upon , since he who only Trades to get the Merchandise of beauty , may become a sad looser tho he gets his whole Adventure , since such a sort of Matrimony does usually bring the Husband , and often the Wife , Springs of misery and inconveniencies , but seldom so much as any drops of the Oyl of pure gladness , and true satisfaction .

And indeed one of the great reasons why Men that Marry for mere beauty , are commonly so unhappy in their Choice , is , That as their Mistrisses beauty is but a mixture of flashy and glaring colours , so is in a manner their reason ; for not considering , that beauty Love , is but like Gunpowder , which as it flames at the first Spark ; so it sets forth all its strength and fierceness at its first firing , and then soon expires into meer smoak and air .

The first falling in Love of an amorous Man , being just like the first surprize of Anger in a Cholerick Person , it runs on so violently , as it stays not to attend reason , nor consult discretion or conveniency , and so strips it self of true understanding , and therefore assoon as such a Husband has cloy'd his sensual Appetite , on that surfeiting Dish of a meer beauty Marriage , his stomack being used to feast on sweet variety , longs for other food , and then first Love grows indifferent , his passion soon cools , his eager fiery fancy grows quickly dull , and his mind suddenly changes ; so that he presently forms a new desire , or passion of love , and loaths his former beauty Companion , as the most irksom deformity ; and she whom he was so lately fond of , as the most pleasing Charm and Converse of his life , who was a kind of Elixir salutis to his very heart and soul , and the Center point where all the Lines of his happiness did meet ; She in whom he could find no discontent with , or content without ; She whose presence made a Village as agreeable as London , and her absence London as doleful as a Village . In short this very She , whose Company he esteem'd his Heaven upon Earth ; no sooner was the flower of her fair and youthful beauty worn off , but his fickle passion assoon decays and grows languid , and this late Soul of his soul , and Joy of his heart , turns to be the very clog and burden of his life , and from all Mistris , becomes all Wife ; that is , she falls from the top of all admiration , to the depth of meer misery , and from an extraordinary charming delight , to an ordinary necessary evil , called a Wife .

And such Husbands commonly call such Wives , and so do Wives such Husbands , the Yoaks of Liberty , and the Stocks of Love ; and all know that neither of them can be easie or pleasing in such a bondage , being an enemy , and destroyer of sweet variety , so that the Husbands love being decay'd with his Wives beauty , he grows weary of her , she of him , and both of one another .

And as to a young Mans Marrying an old ugly Wife , meerly for her Mony , all I shall need say of it is , that often such young Men fancy such Mony Wives , to be of the same Nature of Mony it self , whose vertue consists not in keeping of it , but in parting with it , and so commonly use such Wives accordingly ; and thus this wild passionate Love or meer Mony Marriages , like wild-fire , soon devours and consumes it self in its own flame ; and Torrent like , instead of refreshing , it destroys , and by over-pressing too violently the course and streams of its Waters , soon Ebbs and runs it self dry .

Therefore that Man that will sell his sweet Liberty , and enslave himself into Matrimonial Chains , meerly to enjoy a Womans beauty ; sure he does not know , or at least does not consider that still the richer the Metal , the heavier the Chain , and therefore though his Mistris be never so much the admired object of his present fancy , and that I should allow her golden Chains to weigh as long light on his mind , as she continues beautiful to his sight , yet to bind himself to herin a Matrimonial Vow only on the account of her beauty , till death them depart , on assurance that he shall feast on her beauty as long as he lives , is just such a kind of folly , as if a young Man that were a great Lover of Sweet meats , should leave all his business , imployments , and pastimes to bind himself an Apprentice for seven Years to a Confectioner , meerly on the account , and assurance , that during that time he should every day feast himself on them , when very common Experience is able to inform him , though his confidence be never so great , his inclinations never so eager , and his stomach never so good , yet 't is natural for him to eat so fiercely at first falling on , that like a greedy Howk , he soon over-gorges himself with his own Prey ; and after having taken a full draught of that sensual delight , seeing them continually exposed to his sight , and prostrate to his will , he comes to hate them as much after enjoyment , as he courted them before ; for though the Fire of Love still burns for enjoyment , yet enjoyment still quenches , ( if not extinguishes ) the fire of Love , and he grows in a little time so cloy'd , as he wants not only appetite to eat them , but almost patience to see them .

Then when t is too late , he accuses the unreasonableness of his prefancied delight , on which he built his confidence of a lasting pleasure , and allows it to be not only a great folly , but sin against reason , in any Man to believe , that his sensitive nature ought to be gratified , when it proposes only a bare satisfaction to the Appetite , and cannot secure any durable happiness or content to the reason and judgment of mankind .

And this is really the cause , why so many of our young Gallants now adays make Marriage a kind of Paradox in Love ; for one of these to obtain the Woman he is in Love with , turns his Mistris into a Wife , and then t is two to one , in a little time , to get rid of his late beautiful Mistris , being shrunk into the shape of a meer Domestick Wife , he parts for ever with his late Mistris , to get free from his present Wife ; and note that tho many Mistrisses turn to Wives , yet no Wives ever turn to Mistrisses ; Wife and Mistris being of the same differing nature as Water and Wine , 't is common to drink Wine with Water , but of Water to make Wine to Drink , was never done but once , and that by the first Miracle of our Saviour ; so that in effect they did but seemingly agree , really to fall out , piece together , to fall asunder , and Married to get rid of one anothers Company .

And 't is some of these unfortunate disagreeing Husbands that says the Translator of S. Pauls Epistles , hath left out the word , well , in one of them ; for where the Apostle says , He that gives in Marriage does well , it should have been , He that gives well in Marriage does well , for all know there are more bad Wives , than good ; and sure all believe , that S. Paul was too wise to write or think , that any Man could do well in Marrying ill ; so that I am of opinion , the sum of the Apostles meaning by saying , He that Marries well does well , but he that abstains from Marriage does better , has some reference to that good plain English saying , That next to no Wife , a good Wife is best , which occasions my pitying the many Husbands that have bad Wives , and the many Wives that have ill Husbands , and to wish those few , that fancy they have good ones , as truly content in their Marriages , as I am in my Resolution of never Marrying ; and I am sure none can deny , but that I have this advantage by the Bargain , that 't is impossible for me to meet a bad Wife that does not Marry , but 't is very possible , and common for him that does .

THE EIGHTH DISCOURSE , Against Maids Marrying for meer Love , or only to please their Parents Inclinations , tho' quite contrary to their own .

I Am against Maids Marrying for meer Love ; because they that Marry for meer Love , Marry in a manner for meer fancy , and so to feast their sensual appetite on what they then like , they often starve the body of what it will hereafter need ; for tho' your fancy may tell you that beauty great store makes Love a feast , yet truth can tell you 't is too slender a Diet to make a livelyhood on ; therefore in my poor opinion , 't would be a much wiser course for Maids to make up their Marriages with a good share , and large proportion of interest and conveniency , to mix with their Love-liking , and present fancy , for the true and durable content of Marriages is so founded on these two great Pillars , that without them Marriage-content can never flourish much or last long ; for a good sufficient Estate of Land is as necessary to buy rich Clothes , and maintain a handsom plentiful way of Living , as the Foundation under the Ground , is to support the fine Rooms above it .

Beauty is a fine Flower , but it must soon fade , and a young Womans Love fancy , may often change , but can never long hold , but a good Estate may continue longer than you can love or live , and last after you are dead , to your Childrens Children to the worlds end ; but a meer naked Love-match , is at very most , but a Tenant for Life , and usually not near so long ; a good Estate can keep you in sickness , and in health ; but a Love fastned on meer beauty or fancy , never can , for such a fancy-Love still fadeth away with the beauty that occasions it , since assoon as the flower of beauty begins to wither at the top , the admirers Love begins to die at the root .

Yet indeed I cannot think it very strange , that young Maids should be deluded with the delightful thoughts of pleasing and satisfying their present beloved fancy , of enjoying the Person of their inclinations , since in most young Maids , their fancy , makes their Reason , and not their Reason governs their Fancy , and therefore 't is not to be wonder'd that they should esteem it reasonable , that there is great happiness , and that there will be long content , in such meer and bare love Marriages , because they never tried the sad experiment of such a rash hasty Marriage , and therefore their want of experience , may well serve for some kind of excuse , to moderate their want of Consideration , but after a dear bought Tryal , too many of them find by woful experience , that a Marriage Love built on bare beauty , or meer fancy , ( which are much alike ) can never stem the Tyde of the troubles of disappointments , and inconveniences , ( the usual Issue of want , ) that commonly attend such hot and hasty Love-Marriages , since they cannot fancy so well of it , as they will find ill in it , yet there 's so great a Charm in this thing call'd a Husband , Maids representing the Man as they would have him , without considering what he really is , as poor silly Maids dance about him as merrily , as they do a Maypole on a Summers day , and one Sisters sad and unhappy Marriage will not serve the other for a Caution and Warning against it , because she fancies her wit is quicker , her humor better , her beauty greater , and her person more taking , so easily young Maids believe what they desire , and therefore doubts not , but her Fate will be kinder , and her Husband better , than her Sisters ; but 't is more than an even Lay , she will soon after her Marriage , experimentally find , she had more faith in believing her good fortune , than she had reason for depending on it , since she had on that account more danger to fear , than happiness to hope for , or at least to rely on .

Thus such Marriages , are to most young Maids , like the forbidden Tree in the midst of Paradise , pleasant to the Amorous Eye , and therefore they will be tasting of it , tho they are almost sure to be ever after miserable by it , by their abandoning , and ever after losing their great Virgin prerogative , the Apostle Paul ascribes them , of being exempt from the troubles of pleasing their Husbands , and being in subjection to them .

And sure none that 's Master of common reason , can deny but a Virgins life is much happier , because more innocent than any other , and as 't is much nearer the blessed state of Innocency , in this World , so also 't is much more secure as to the felicity of the next , especially in this one particular , That 't is much easier for a Virgin to keep her self vertuously Chast , than either a Married Woman , or Widow ; because both natural reason , and common experience teaches us this plain Philosophy , that 't is much harder to abstain from a pleasure one has often tasted , than 't is to live without a delight one has never enjoy'd , it being such a certainty as none can deny , that 't is less difficult to keep ripe Fruit that 's fair and sound , and was never touch'd , than 't is to keep any such after they have been so .

Therefore in a word , you Virgins that are so much in the State of happy freedom , as not to be yoak'd in such a sort of Marriage , and to the pinching troubles of want , ( for fancy can only feed the mind , not the body ) and possibly to the sottish humors and impertinent follies of a jealous Husband , for want is apt still to create jealousie . I say if you Virgins truly desire to continue in your freedom and happy Life , never allow Men to become your Masters , by swearing they are your humble servants , and by calling you their Queens , make you their Subjects , for by Marriage you make your Servant your Master , and from being Mistris of your self , you become little better than a Slave to your Husband .

Therefore as an Antidote against this misery , I shall advise all young Virgins to carry still this Memorandum in their minds , That tho beauty is still taking , yet 't is never lasting ; sweet , but frail , and that all Husbands love Sovereignty much , but few own beauty long , especially in the domestick face of a Wife .

And because 't is great pity these sort of unhappy Marrying Maids , should have no companions to solace them in their sad penitential state of Mourning , give me leave to introduce some Married Women into their dismal Society ; for as many Maids make themselves miserable by Marrying for meer Love , so many are also made unfortunate in Marrying meerly to please their Parents , not at all to satisfie themselves ; for really most Parents make it more their concern to match Fortunes than Children , or to suit inclinations or ages , when 't is but a kind of Reversing Nature it self , it being as feasible to unite two contraries , and make Fire and Water agree , and May and January meet , as by the Magick of Matrimony to make a very old Man , and a very young Woman to be but one flesh and temper ; for youthful beauty to the mind , is as cold old Age to the body ; Heat penitrates the pores of the body easily , because they expatiate themselves to receive it , but when Cold approaches and attacks it , presently it closes , as being contrary and averse to it .

Yet many Parents think to deal with their Childrens Marriages , as they do with their Fruit-Trees , and think they can Graft humors and inclinations between Husband and Wife , as they Graft different kinds of Fruits on one another , and by their Grafting and binding them together , they make their differing Natures to become but one by Marriage , but upon serious Consideration , which does not always attend Marriage ; they will soon find , that the Minister can only joyn their hands , but 't is the free-will offering of the heart , that can only unite and Graft their affections together , and this free-will offering is to be led by Love , not drawn by the Cords of Wedlock , for the Will is a free faculty , and consequently cannot be forcibly determined to any act , but yet is capable of admitting perswasions , and inducements , and so may be by them inclin'd , but without them cannot be forced .

And therefore tho Maids ought not to Marry without their Parents consent , yet they ought not to be compell'd against their own ; 'T is true indeed that large Estates can produce a plenty of Livelyhood , but 't is as true , that Content only can produce happy Living , for Content and Riches prove often to be no a kin to one another ; but Content and Happiness are Twins , and ever inseparable friends , and like Water and Ice , one still makes the other .

Content is certainly the greatest worldly happiness , for it makes the poor Rich with it , and the Rich poor without it , and very common experience tells us that many poor Men are made happy by their unrich Wives , and many wealthy heiresses are made miserable and unfortunate by their rich Husbands , for 't is not much but enough that satisfies , and the Weekly Bills of Mortality inform us , that more die with Surfeits , than starve with Hunger , the true Measures of Contentment not consisting in quantity , but quality , for many have much that have not enough , and many have enough that have not much ; some young Women being composed of such distempered Hidropick feaverish humors , as there 's no quenching the Thirst of their hot ambitious desires ; others are so temperately minded , and healthfully wise , as a moderate and indifferent kind of condition satisfies them , and those are happy in such a moderation to a high degree ; Content being the Throne of happiness , the very top of our ambition , and the end and accomplishment of all our desires , the sole want of which , is like that of wanting health , which is sufficient to unpleasure all our other enjoyments , in a word , Content is of such an obliging generous Nature , and of so universal value , as it furnisheth us with every thing , that either our real necessity wants , or our vain desires fancy .

And as Content is thus pleasing , so discontent is little less unpleasing , and therefore I cannot but highly blame and Censure such Tyranical ill natur'd Parents , as because they like such a Mans fortune , therefore they will make their Child Marry such a ones person , tho 't is as odious to her sight , as pleasing to her fathers Covetous humor , and so to satisfie his will , must force her inclinations to Marry him , tho utterly against her own . Indeed 't is such kind of forc'd Marriages that drives young Women into a double evil , and that of the worst sort too , being those of Perjury , and Treachery ; for how can you make it less than Perjury , in a young Woman , to make a solemn Vow in the face of the Congregation to Love that Man her whole Life , whom she knows she cannot Love a piece of a day , nay not so much as that very time of her Life , she is vowing to Love him , till death them depart .

And surely there is no less Treachery in such a Marriage Vow , that must be a kin to that black one of Judas , who under pretence to kiss his Lord and Master , brought a band of Soldiers to seize him , so averse forced Marriages under pretence of long continuing friendship and kindness , by shaking hands , but not joyning hearts , do often bring Bands of discontents and miseries to each others Lives , and Liberties .

Therefore to conclude this Discourse , my opinion is that Parents may choose their Daughters wealthy Husbands to live with , but 't is only themselves that can chuse Husbands to be delighted in , and therefore those Maids do well that Marry with their Parents liking , and they do ill , that Marry against their own .

THE NINTH DISCOURSE , Against Widows Marrying .

WHen I consider truly , and reflect serionsly , how many Widows have made themselves miserable by Marriage , and how few make themselves happy by Marrying , methinks it should be now as needless a Task to disswade such from Marrying as to advise them not to eat again of that Dish they came just from surfeiting on ; for sure she that makes her self unhappy by a second Marriage , deserves as much her own misery , and merits as little others pity , as the Man that steals again after having been burn in the hand , does the Gallows : for a repeated fault is a twofold Crime , and deferves a double punishment .

I know I need not mind the Reader of the old and common fable , of two Women that went assoon as they died , to S. Peter to get admittance into Paradise ; the first assured him , that her Husband was such a devilish wicked ill natured Man , that he made her life a kind of Hell on Earth , upon which account S. Peter thought it reasonable , that since she had suffer'd a Hell in this World , she should not endure another in the next , and so admitted her into Paradise .

The other Woman observing this , thought she had a double Key and Ticket , for she was not only tormented with one , but two bad wicked cross-grain'd Husbands , which render'd her life most miserable : but S. Peter answer'd her , that since she was so very simple as not to think one bad Husband enough , but she must have two , he bid her be gone , for Paradise was no place for fools ; indeed that Widow must be extravagantly foolish , and unreasonable , that did not think the misery of one base Husband sufficient , but she must try the experiment of a second .

I confess , I cannot at all agree in opinion with that Writer who says , a woman is but an imperfect Creature whilst she is without a Husband ; but had he said a Widow was not come to her full perfection of misery 'till she had one ; I fancy he had given a truer Character , and taken a more just measure of most Widows lives that Marry , since common experience may assure all Wives and Widows , that there are generally ten bad Husbands for one good one , and I believe there are few Widows in our age , that are so perfect Disciples of Seneca's wisdom , as to extract satisfaction out of misery , it being an Apostolical vertue to be satisfied , and contented in , whatsoever condition it pleaseth God to place one to .

But I am rather of the belief , that a young beautiful Widow , that leads a strict vertuous unmarried life , leads a kind of Miraculous one , in as much as she being born a Subject to the Law of Nature , and to the Lustful frailties of it , having not only tasted , but probably delighted in them , and yet can contain her self so in the bounds of such a vertue and pious Mortification , as to be so much Mistris of her self , and of her own youthful temper , and inclinations , as to resist the pressing temptations of young handsom Men with an unmoveable vertuous constancy ; such young Widows do really live in this world , as the Papists say the Nuns do in their Nunneries , That they live in the flesh , as if they had no bodies .

And sure since it cannot be denied , but a vertue that overcomes the highest difficulties , fiercest inclinations , and most youthful passions , must needs excel all others ; then it cannot be in the least doubted , but that a young handsom Widow that leads a retir'd , strict and unmarried life , must needs in that kind surpass all other Women , because she practises more the vertue of continence than any of them can , I mean as to the outward mark of our knowledge , since a Widow that lives in a true conformity to such a strict pious life resembles most , and approaches closest to the heavenly one , which must needs be the best as coming nearest to perfection , for she declines the natural commerce of the body , to enjoy the better and Spiritual Contemplation of the Soul . And 't is most certain the more Women keep their thoughts and desires from worldly delights and vanities , the more their minds will be fortified against them , and the more ready they 'll be to embrace true felicity .

We read in Scripture that the Womans subjection to the Man , was laid on her as a penance and punishment for her disobedience to her God . Truly most of the young Married Sparks of our Age , are very active in observing Gods pleasure herein , yet not at all on the account of the Almighty's design , but the worlds practice , which is for such Sparks to make Marriage a punishment to the Woman , as much as they can , that is as much as some Wives will ; for serve , honour , and obey , are grown but words of course , which all Women must repeat after the Minister at Marriage , but few will perform after they are Married , and their promise of obedience till death them do part , is seldom in their thoughts as long as they live .

Indeed I have known some young handsom Widows , who have lov'd their own Reputation and their Husbands Memory , so much as to continue some years in a strict deep Mourning , as well in their Life as Dress . And I have also known other Widows , of the wild brisk London brood , that have not so much Complemented their Husbands death , as to hold out one year a Widows Life , tho contrary to the Custom of the Country , and the common Rules of decency and civility .

And as shewing so little a concern for a Husband is very unbecoming , and highly immodest , not to speak worse ; so on the other hand overmuch grief and despair , are both imprudent , and irreligious .

But I need not speak much of this overabundant Mourning for a Husband , since 't is a distemper of mind , very few Widows of our age are inclin'd too , and therefore not in danger of being infected with ; for most Widows can tell us that they are so well read in the brave Roman Story , who though they had no other bounds to their aspiring hopes , than the Conquest of the whole world , yet they still placed their glory and praise , as much in suffering well , as in doing so , saying , as they ought not to be overmuch exalted by prosperity , so they ought not to be too much depressed or cast down by adversity , but to observe the Golden Rule of Mediocrity in both Cases , and therefore 't is not ill Wife like , but brave Roman like , to suffer all losses with Courage and Patience .

And 't is from these Considerations that many of our fine young gay brisk Widows say , They esteem more the Phylosophers Wit , than his Wisdom , who being in great affliction , and weeping most bitterly for the death of his Wife , one of his friends told him , his crying , could do neither him , nor her any good ; Therefore said the Philosopher I Cry .

But this is a kind of doleful Logick , that suits ill with the sprightly gaiety of our fine young Widows , and therefore it must be needless as well as troublesom to mind them of it , it being a very unmodish doctrin , to preach to such young Widows , that because their Husbands are out of the world , therefore they ought to live as if they were not in it , and bury themselves alive in a strict solitary retirement , which they will tell you savours more of great folly , than true wisdom ; since no Woman by her Matrimonial Vow , is engaged to Love her Husband longer than till death them do part ; and indeed as Wives now go , I think 't is very extraordinary to meet one that truly loves her Husband half so long . In a word , she that gives her Husband a more lasting Love than she promised , is generously kind , but she that pays him as much as she ingaged for , is truly just .

Next 't is most certain that all extreams are bad , and therefore Widows ought to avoid them on both sides ; either by shewing too little a Concern , or too violent a Grief , for their Husbands death ; I know I need not travel your thoughts so far as the East-Indies , to shew you the barbarous examples of Womens love to their dead Husbands bodies , by sacrificing themselves to the Devil , by burning themselves alive , soon after their Husbands death ; we have examples enough in the History of our Neighbouring Princes , of their Wives barbarous Cruelty committed against their own Lives , for their Husbands loss of theirs ; ( but then do not mistake me , so as to think , I believe there are any such kind of fond foolish Wives in our age , ) as Adymond Queen of Sweedland , who , when she heard her Husband was kill'd by the Danes , said she would soon follow him , and presently stabb'd her self . I might name you many more of this bloody Nature , but surely such kind of Tragical examples are to be look'd upon , but as the vile and wicked effects of madness or a devilish despair , and not at all the motions of a pious vertuous love , since good Wives may shew their kindness , without shedding their blood , and may mourn heartily , without dying Cruelly ; for such unnatural deaths utterly destroy that great Christian vertue , of well regulating their passions .

And certainly no Widow stands more engaged to her Husbands memory , either by the Laws of outward Civility and good manners , or by the inward effects of true love and real esteem , than to observe those kinds of measures , and degrees of mourning for their Husbands , which are usual according to the rules of custom and decency , which is to live a strict religious and unmarried life , for some considerable time , or longer as some Women do ; and among those many who continue so to the end of their days , and so are Widows indeed according to S. Pauls phrase , and so deserve his character of honour . And among those I cannot omit a just commendation of the three most Excellent vertuous Ladies , and kind Sisters , who live together near London , I need not name them , because I am sure , there are not three Widow Sisters of their high Quality , great Vertue , and clear Reputation , that live together in all England ; for which as they have the just admiration and praises of all true Lovers of Vertue ; so I wish all Widows would strive to imitate their religious example , that so like them , they might enjoy comfort of true devotion and felicity upon earth , as an earnest of more blessed comforts and happiness they do expect in the other World .

And who by leading such a constant religious , and unmarried Life , the world must plainly see , that such Widows have no particular fondness for any Man in the world , since their dear Husbands are out of it , and that they do still shew a constant affection , real esteem and memory of their Husbands vertues and reputation ; and by a particular kindness continued to all their Husbands Relations and Friends , as much as if they had been now actually living , and could be made sensible of the effects of their good or ill nature towards them . I say such a vertuous and discreet carriage in Widows is a most clear demonstration that Loves do not expire with their Husbands Lives ; and certainly such an affection must be more real , and less byassed , as to all appearances , than the love of any living Wife can possible be ; since that may only look counterfeit , and be disguised , by wearing a Mask of self-interest , or design rather than of true affection or value , and may be reckoned on the account , of living in good esteem or reputation as to the world , or be counterfeited for an outward seeming kindness to her Husband , tho she has no real inward one , in order to live at peace and quiet at home , both for her Childrens good , and for her own and families ease .

But a Widow that continues ( as I have said ) consonant kindness to her Husbands memory and Relations , and lives in the state of a private and religious widowhood ; such a one can expect no return , or hope for any praise or advantage , but from the just commendation of her vertue while she lives , or indeed the more certain comfort and assurance of her eternal happiness , when she comes to die .

But mortifying Discourses of this nature , I am sure must be far from making any agreeable musick to the fine young Widows , but it may be sound harsh , and unpleasant , as well as useless and unliking ; many of the fine gay young Widows , making the day of their Husbands death , the joyful Birthday of their own freedom .

And there are few of these brisk witty sort of Widows that are not so great Philosophers in the Politicks of Marriage , and so perfectly read in all parts of Scripture tending to that point , as to be wisely able to extract out of it , the vertue of Patience , and to possess it in so high a degree , and great measure , as to be able to raise to themselves satisfactory Arguments , of all sizes , degrees , and qualities whatsoever , to arm themselves against the loss of a Husband of any kind ; be he good or bad , poor or rich , so as to render his death at least easie , if not pleasing , by arguing and reasoning with themselves after this manner :

If my Husband was good and vertuous , and made a holy end , suitable to his religious life , sure I ought not to mourn for it , but rejoyce at it , that he is gone to Heaven , and that I have in a manner half my self there before-hand ; and therefore it must argue want of Charity , kindness and good nature to lament and mourn for his happiness , in living and dying so well .

If my Husband was wicked , lewd , and prophane , I have a double reason to rejoyce for his death ; first , that the world is rid of so bad a Man , and I of so ill a Husband , and am no more oblig'd to lie every night , with so much wickedness in my bosom , and that we are now no more one flesh , who were so far from being of one mind , and humor ; and I have also this second means of extracting this heavenly advantage by it , that having experimented the slavish misery of serving the Creature , I am now , or at least ought to be , the more ready and willing to dedicate all my remnant of Life , only to the service of my Creator , whose service is still perfect freedom , and everlasting felicity .

If my Husband was poor and needy , I have reason to be glad he is intirely delivered from the great misery of want , and that his poverty is dead and buried with him , for none ever feels want in the Grave .

But if my Husband died Rich , I have great reason to rejoyce that he has left me so , and has given me by his death , what he denied me all his life , the incontroulable Treasure of his Wealth ; and that I have now the range of the whole Kingdom , to ramble over , and spend it after what kind of manner , and with what sort of Company , as I fancy most , and love best ; and by being a Widow I am become the perfect Empress of my own Will , instead of being confin'd at home a Subject to my Husbands , and sure none can relish with more gusto , the ease and liberty , and the many pleasures of freedom , than she that 's newly deliver'd from the bondage of a Marriage confinement , and therefore what Seneca said of Vertue , that there 's no Passion , or Affliction in the World , that Vertue has not a Remedy for :

The same may be said in reference to most young Widows love to their Husbands , let their passionate kindness for them be seemingly never so great , whilst they live , yet they will be sure to find Remedies for their overmuch mourning for their death .

And therefore I shall advise Husbands never to Antidate their trouble , by fearing that their death will produce a long sadness in their Wives , at the common rate Marriage-Love now goes , there 's no great fear of it ; since in most Wives their good Jointure-Rents , outweigh their Love-sighs , or at least Counterpoise all their formal Mourning ; for there is really , so little pure Love in many of our Marriages now adays , as Husband and Wifes Love , is but of the same nature of that of great Sovereign Princes , whose Love is but meer Interest ; and a Husbands death to many of our Wives , is become as Repentance for Sin , which cannot come so soon or late , but it still brings Comfort with it .

And now lest you may take my speaking against Widows Marrying , to be but a kind of raillying Discourse , fit only to entertain , but not to convince ; and that my reasons against Widows Marrying are but meer Romantick , pleasant to be read , but needless to be believ'd ; I will wave my own weak reasonings , and quote you some Scripture ones , that seem not to favour Widows Marrying , but rather the contrary , to continue as they are , and for their encouragement to it , propounds to them great advantages by it , which are these , The first is out of the Old Testament , Lev. 22.13 . If a Priests Daughter be Married , she must not eat of the Offerings of holy Things , but if the Priests Daughter be a Widow , she may eat as in her Youth , that is , as if she had been never Married and was a Maid , which was a priviledge Women had by living Widows under the Mosaick Law , and which would not have it seems been granted , had she been made unclean by a second Marriage .

And S. Paul speaking of the happiness and advantages Virgins have over Married Women , gives this as one of his principal reasons , that they live free and exempt from the cares of observing and pleasing their Husbands , and being in subjection to them . And sure Widows enjoy at least as much , if not more , on this account than Virgins can ; for doubtless it must be a far greater degree of pleasure , and satisfaction to those that have cast off the Yoke of an ill Marriage , than it can be to those that never wore it ; as a sick Man that recovers his health must needs enjoy more pleasure by it , than another can in his health that was never sick ; and really in my opinion the Penance of an ill Marriage ought to be the best Remedy , to make a Widow well savour the happiness of an unmarried life , and the most perswasive Argument to make her continue so .

I shall further observe , that the same Apostle in his first Epistle to Timothy , chap. 5. vers. 5. Seems to divide Widows into two sorts , the good , and the bad ; the good he Characterises with the Title of being Widows indeed , and gives us this sign to know them by , She that trusteth in God , and continueth in Prayers , and Supplications night and day . This is the holy Mark , you may know a godly Widow by , and this is the Widow that the Apostle calls a Widow indeed , and orders Timothy to pay them great honour as such .

I am sure these are not at all a kin to the race of proud brisk ranting Widows that are in , and about London , who abstain not from Marriage upon the account of any retired religious Inclinations , or upon any want of desires to Marry , ( for most of these Widows desire more Husbands than Husbands desire them ) for they only abstain from Marriage because they cannot get Husbands to suit their fancy , for they must Marry such as are high enough to Match their Quality , Rich enough to maintain their Extravagancies , and fools enough to be govern'd by them ; but such a sort of Abstinence from Marriage , springs rather from great pride , than true devotion ; and so proves rather a Penance to their body , than proceeds from any principle of Vertue in their mind .

The bad sort of Widows the Apostle brands with the foul marks , of being not only idle , but tatlers and busie-bodies wandring from House to House , which among the London Ladies is called Visiting ; these sort of Widows S. Paul orders Timothy to refuse , and not to admit into the number , and seems to give this reason for it ; for when a Widow waxeth wanton against Christ , that is against holiness , she will Marry , ( where by the by , take notice Widows , that Marrying is a sign of waxing wanton ) and next , if that young Widows had not been naturally inclin'd to this sort of wantonness , the Apostle would never have given this strict charge about it , by ordering Timothy not to admit a Widow into the number under sixty , the Wife of one Husband , not two , which in effect was to admit no Widow , but such a one as resolv'd never to Marry ; for sure the Apostle might very well conclude , that a Widow that did not Marry before sixty , would never Marry after ; it being an unfit and undecent Age , as exceeding all the bounds of gravity and discretion , being an age altogether uncapable to answer one of those ends Marriage was chiefly ordained for , bringing Children into the world ; for S. Paul in the same Verse , Where he will that young Women should Marry , he orders them to bring Children . 1 Tim. 5.14 . So that 't is clear , that a Widow at sixty ought not to Marry , because a Widow at that Age cannot bring forth Children ; and tho I confess a Widow at sixty may with her great Wealth buy a young Husband , ( for Gallants are still to be had for Mony , ) yet 't is impossible that her years should ever breed a Child ; for though her Mony may bring her a Husband to Bed , yet all the Midwives in Christendom can never bring her so .

And now I have given you my opinion as to old Widows , I shall here present my advice to the young ones , which is , instead of venturing on the great uncertainty of meeting a good Husband , you will dispose your selves unto the service of a good God , where you will be sure to enjoy true content in this world , ( which is more than you will be sure to do in a Husband , ) and eternal felicity in the next , in such a perfect state of bliss , as you will have nothing to hope , or fear , wish , or desire ; for she that has all she desires , can have nothing to wish .

S. Paul says , she that liveth in pleasure , is dead while she liveth ; therefore all Widows will do well to reflect seriously on the vast difference , of living in vanity , sin , and pleasure , and that of living vertuously , and in a true love , and holy fear of God ; and so to be listed in the blessed number of those that S. Paul calls Widows indeed , who continue in supplication and prayer , night and day .

To conclude , this is the vast difference between the Widow that liveth in vain Pleasure , and she that liveth in the true fear of God ; The one is dead whilst she liveth , and the other shall live eternally after she is dead .

THE TENTH DISCOURSE , Against keeping of MISSES .

NOW I have finished my Discourse on the unpleasing Subject , of many Widows miseries by making second Marriages ; I shall change that doleful Scene , and now bring on the Stage the gay , brisk , modish vice of keeping Misses ; a sin grown so in fashion , as the great custom of the fashion , has overgrown the sense of the sin ; being a vice so common , as its commonness makes many forget 't is a vice , nay some of your young Atheistical Gentlemen are so far from condemning the sinfulness of it , as they pretend to justifie its practice as not sinful ; but for this sort of Satanists , they are only fit to be shut up with a Red Cross , and a Domine miserere upon their Doors , that they may be branded so for the plague of their impiety , as to keep in their infection to themselves , for these are steering directly before the Wind , with a full sail to Hell .

There are another sort , that steer almost the same course , but with a side wind ; and tho' these are of very wicked principles , yet they are not of so profane and debauch'd a kind , as the former ; for these own , that keeping a Miss is ill , but they hold it a less evil to keep a good-humour'd handsom Miss , than to live with an old ugly ill-natured Wife ; for say they , one need keep a Miss no longer than he likes and loves her ; but one is still bound to live with a cross-grain'd Wife , though he is so far from loving or liking her , as he hates her ; but this Argument carries no force , but in wickedness , being indeed as very senseless and ridiculous , as its maintainers are highly impious and extravagant ; since a Man by living with his ugly Cross Wife , may thereby often meet occasions to exercise his patience , which may prove a vertue in some kind ; but by keeping a Miss , he can never by it exercise a vertue in any kind ; besides a Man by living with his Wife , tho' never so deform'd , does but what he ought ; but a Man by keeping a Miss , tho' never so handsom , does what he ought not , since in so doing he offends his God .

There are another sort of vicious young Sparks , who you will easily believe have not attained to years of discretion by their pretending to Argue , that 't is not a greater ill to keep a handsom Miss , than for a Widow to Marry a bad Husband , but in my opinion this admits of no comparison ; for sure no Widow can be so mad , as to Marry a Man , that she is sure beforehand will be a bad Husband . But all Men that keep Misses know beforehand , that by so doing they act a great sin . A Widow by Marrying an ill Husband , only commits a fault against her own content , but he that keeps a Miss , offends against his Makers command ; which must needs be very much worse , since an ill Husband can only disturb the body , but a scandalous sin may destroy the soul .

But yet tho a Widows Marrying an ill Husband , cannot possibly be of so ill a nature as a Mans keeping a Miss , yet it may probably be of a much more lasting trouble , since an ill Husbands life is like to last much longer , than a fair Misses beauty ; for we all know 't is very customary , for Miss keepers love , to end with their Misses beauty , since their beauty only makes the love .

In a word , I have known ill men that have made kind Husbands , so that 't is possible a Widow may Marry an ill Man , and not be miserable ; but 't is impossible a Man can keep a Miss , and not be wicked .

'T is a common Proverbial saying , That a Wife is a necessary Evil , which I fancy , is not to be taken in the sense most do , that Men cannot not live without them ; but because Men are still bound to live with them ; for whilst they are Wives , tho far from being good ones , yet poor Husbands are oblig'd to serve out their time of bondage , according to agreement for better for worse , till death them do part . But now for the new Mode of protempore Wives , called Misses , they are generally look'd upon by our Gallants , and keepers of them , as only Tenants at will , to Mens Persons , and Purses ; being tied to them in no other manner , than we are to reading Romances , on which we may begin when we will , and leave off when we please , for we are not oblig'd to read longer in them , than they suit our humor , and please our fancy .

Indeed Misses are now become in most great Towns , ( especially London ) to Gentlemen , as Books are in Stationers Shops to Scholars , where they may pick and chuse , Read sometimes this kind of Books , another that sort , all , or any , and hire them by the Day , Month or Year ; and when they have read them over as oft as they please , and have no longer delight in them , or farther use of them , they may return them , and leave them where they found them , and there 's no harm done , they lying ready expos'd for the next Courteous comer .

Misses in Towns are like Free-booters at Sea , no Purchase , no Pay , they are never out of their way , ( except to Heaven ) so they can but meet a prize in it ; indeed our fine young Gallants are wise in this particular , ( but pray do not ask me in what other lest you puzle me , ) and this their wisdom consists only in chusing of two evils the least ; for they will keep Misses which is ill , but they will not be bound to keep them longer than during pleasure , which is less ill than a longer time ; that is , they will be tied to Misses by no other Law , than that dearly beloved one of sweet variety , Misses being to be us'd but like slight summer Garments , which are only useful in the youthful Spring or hot Summer Season of Mens Lives , and may without much Ceremony , or great difficulty be put on , or cast off ; ( 't were well if the sin of using them could be so too ) lightly worn , and cheaply bought ; Misses being but a kind of Summer-Fruit , for present eating , not long keeping , for their beauty will never hold out long after a hot Venus blast , or burning clap of thunder , and their Bodies are often withered and rotten before they are near ripe , in substance and perfection , as many of the Merchant Adventurers in that Trade , can tell you by woful experience .

And therefore young Men do wisely in not binding themselves to them , in Health , and Sickness , for then they are not only useless but chargeable ; not till death them do part , but till their Misses beauties does decay , or their Passion change ; for Miss-Love must still be Passionate , because it ceaseth to be Love , when it ceaseth to be Passionate , having no other motive to cherish and maintain it ; and therefore usually such Mens Love , expires assoon as their Misses beauty breaks , or may be sooner , if he be taken with a more agreeable object , for his present fancy and conveniency ; for though most of our young Gallants Love constantly , yet few are constant in their Amours ; for tho they are still Loving , 't is Women more than a Woman ; for considering they are only Constant to Inconstancy , they can only keep the name of Constant Lovers , as Rivers still keep the same Name , tho they are never two Minutes the same Water , they still running into the Sea , as Springs are still running into them .

Indeed if young Gallants were bound to keep their Misses during life , such an obligation would come so near to matrimonial bondage , as our young Gallant , on those terms , would as little love and like a handsom young Miss , as an ugly old Wife , all confinements to our Sparks of the times being odious .

O what a brave World and pleasant Age do we live in , when new setts of Misses , are now grown modish marks of Greatness , as numbers of Wives and Concubines were signs of Magnificence in Solomon's days , which is the only thing I know our young Gallants imitate him in , and their only grand reason for doing it , is meerly because Christs holy Gospel forbids them doing it .

Really the Drunkards in S. Paul's days , were a kind of sober Men to the Libertins of our Age ; for they knowing their deeds were evil and scandalous , had so great a sense of modesty and shame , ( tho not of sin , ) as to cast a vail of darkness over them , to hide themselves and their Debauchery from the sight of others , which is implied by S. Paul's saying , Those that are Drunken , are Drunken in the Night ; but the Debauchees of our times , so glory in their own unshamefulness as they expose their Persons and Vices , ( I might have said Sins ) to the open Sun-shine , and publick Assemblies ; and are so far from casting a vail , either to cover their own shame , or their Misses painted faces , as many of our young Sparks , nay , others that are more than middle aged Sinners , allow their Misses Coaches to themselves , but with Coachmen in their own Livery , for fear all might not know whose Misses they are , and who keeps them , to shew to the World that their vile impudence scorns all sober Mens censure , as well as it defies the great Gods punishment .

This base species of mercenary Miss Love , being grown as very common as themselves are , who are as impudent in their Carriage , as lewd in their Actions ; and really 't is now grown a disputable question which now abounds most in London , Hackny Coaches , or Hackny-Women , Tradesmen or Trading-women .

Thus impudence is now become a kind of Staple Commodity in our Kingdom of Love , it being now adays esteem'd a shameful meanness of Spirit in a young Gentleman , to be out of countenance for keeping a Miss , but grown no shame at all to keep one ; they being now looked upon but as marks of greatness and riches , and signs of Youth , health , fashion , and gaity ; but never in the least thought on , to be the sad effects of sin , shame , folly , and wickedness .

O strange change ! That sin should be thus supported by a customary impudence , and vertue suppressed by a general Custom : Thus the tolerated , nay I might have said incouraging mode of acting this sin , has taken away both the shame and conscience of committing it ; yet as very debauch'd as our Age is , we ought not to cast our faults on it , for there can be no time so bad , as to render sins necessary ; for general Custom , can never justifie particular faults , since we might all live well , if we did not spend our time ill ; for the will in her immediate operations , neither depends , nor moves by the temper of the body , or the fashion of the times , but by the motions of the mind , in her own Resolutions .

In a word , keeping of Misses , is now grown so common , not only among great Men , but others of as bad Lives , tho' not of so great Estates ; that now as to the keeping of Misses , there 's nothing in it so strange , as that any should think it so .

THE ELEVENTH DISCOURSE , Of the vain folly of such Ladies who think to shew their Wit , by Jeering and Censuring their Neighbours .

INdeed there would not need many Lines or Arguments on this Subject , to disswade Ladies from Jeering at others Faults , if they would but seriously reflect on their own ; for then certainly they would neither accuse others , nor justifie themselves , but avoid keeping Company with , or at least practising of , this base ill natur'd and uncharitable vice , of Jeering and Censuring their Neighbours .

We read in the Gospel of S. John , how the Scribes and Pharisees brought before our Saviour , the Woman that was taken in the Act of Adultery , to tempt him , saying , Moses in the Law commanded us , that such should be stoned , but what sayest thou ? and after often asking , Jesus said unto them , he that is without sin among you , let him cast the first stone at her ; and they that heard it being convicted in their own Consciences , went away one by one , and all left her ; for as Solomon says , who is so pure as to have no sin ?

If all Censorious Ladies would but truly and heartily apply this saying to themselves , and fancy our Saviour now saying unto them , the Lady that is free from fault among you , cast the first Jeer at your Neighbour , I am confident the Ladies would be so Conscious of their own Guilt , as they would presently all leave this filthy sin , as the Scribes and Pharisees did the Adulterous Woman .

For there 's no Woman in this World of so holy and pure a mixture , as to be free from any stain and fault , for then she must be more than a Woman ; and therefore all Ladies ought to make it their business rather to mend their own faults , than make it their pastime to Jeer at those of others , which very likely they are guilty of themselves , and to consider , since all are infected , none ought to censure any , but every one to repent in particular for himself , and to be sorry in general for all .

I have known some ordinary home-spun witty Women , who have proclaim'd themselves very foolish in great Companies , and have shew'd their want of wit in attempting to Jeer at others above their reach , having only slight Ideas , of which they pretended to have a perfect knowledge , and so have exposed their faint glimmering wit and flashy talk , of self conceitedness , on a Candlestick , to be judged , and look'd into by every prying and abusive Critick , which had been much better kept at home under a Bushel , among their Friends and Neighbours ; many of these pretenders to Rallying wit , fancying they have a perfect knowledge of things when they do not understand , nor so much as know , that they do not know it ; for there 's a knowledge of Ignorance , as well as an Ignorance of knowledge , and some sin by a presumption of knowledge , as well as others do by an ignorant presumption ; and therefore such Women pretenders to wit , may be assured that they have great reason to wish for a deliverance from their unknown ignorance , as well as holy David teacheth all Men to beg pardon of God for their secret and unknown faults . 'T is in ordering of wit , as in managing of a voyce , she that has an indifferent sweet low voyce , and sings within its reach , may do it agreeable enough ; but if she striving to sing better than she can , over mounts and stretches her voyce , by so overstraining it ; she raises her weak voyce to meer squeaking , and so renders it more discord than good vocal Musick .

So truly an indifferent Wit that moves in the Sphere of her own ability , may pass for good witty pleasant Company ; but if she pretends to talk of what she does not understand , and by endeavouring to make witty scoffs on others , to cast only some gross foul slanders on them ; such a one drowns her small Spring of wit , in the Ocean of her folly , and receives but contempt , instead of praise .

For my part I have a more nice opinion of that they generally call ignorance , than usually most have ; for many esteem ignorance to consist only in the want of School learning , others in that of History , Philosophy , Mathematicks , Politicks , or the not well understanding the Affairs of the World , and the Intrigues of Courts , and the Men and factions in it , when in real truth , one may be a perfect Master of Art in all these , and yet be an ignorant Fresh-man in the very dawning , and beginning of true Wisdom , the fear of God ; which truth is confirmed by a wiser Solomon , than any that dares contradict it ; 't is only that wisdom that leadeth to salvation .

Therefore I am of opinion that a Learned Man that knoweth much , and lives ill , and is uncharitable ; is much more ignorant , than that Lady who knows little , and prays much , and gives Alms plentifully ; and this occasioned the Wiseman to esteem Worldly wisdom but vanity , because it maketh not wise to salvation , and S. Paul tells us , that worldly knowledge puffeth up , but charity edifieth , and both Gods Word , and our own experience , ( if we are holy , ) can assure us , that a good Conscience , ( which our gracious God never denies to those that beg it with great zeal , and in good time ) is a continual feast .

Therefore your vain Ladies cannot but own in spight of all their aversness to it , that there must be much more wisdom in going to the House of Prayer , than pastime to go to the Play-house ; though if we look into the seats on Sundays , and at the boxes on all the Week-days , we shall find more Ladies set out at this , than that ; tho we know one is the great duty of Religion , and the other but a meer delight of fancy .

And if the fine Ladies and young Sparks , could read this and not be angry , I would desire them to consider seriously ; tho I know serious consideration is very unmodish , and consequently very unusual among them to practise , and so uncivil in me to ask , what are witty Plays , and fine Romances ; truly Plays of the very best sort are but fine pleasant Plots , sometimes taken out of true Story , sometimes raised by meer fancy ; well acted , and finely represented on the Stage , richly gilded and set out with fine Scenes , quick Wit , pleasant Fancy , good Humor , modish Dress , and pure double refined Language , exactly fitted and tun'd to the present temper of the Times ; and when all this is done , tho one may hear much wit in them , yet none can learn much wisdom by them ; Plays being writ for meer pastime to please the fancy , more than instruct the understanding , made to get the Poet praise , and the Players mony , rather than to teach the hearers vertue .

And so of Romances what are they other , than a pleasant ingenious mixture of fiction , made up in a large Volume of extraordinary Adventures , and witty well composed fancies ; rarely set out , and richly adorn'd , with pure smooth Romantick Language , of strange things done , and fierce love made , by Knights Errants in the Air , where the Lovers perform a thousand Miracles in Fights , and single Combats , killing Men without ever hurting them , or so much as drawing their Sword towards it ; ( for all such relations are writ to the height of Invention , no matter if it surpasses all possibility of performance , for those niceties are needless in Romances , ) and say all the fine things imaginable , without speaking aword , and follow their Mistrisses over many Kingdoms , without so much as stirring one step after them ; so that I may truly enough say , that a Romance , is a Monster , composed of great contrarieties , and high falsities .

In short , when you have once read over a Romance , tho it be never so good and pleasant , yet 't is but a kind of dull entertainment , to read it a second time , a Romance being like a Stratagem of War , never to be used well but once . And yet these Plays and Romances are so many in number , and so highly in esteem , with our vain young Ladies , and fine Sparkish Gallants , as among many of them , they make it the main imployment of their Study , and the Library of their Books , ( except perhaps an old Practice of Piety of the family , all mouldy through long keeping , and never using ) being the great Treasury of their Wit , and the chief subject of their Discourses .

Indeed the vain flashy Wit of Plays and Romances , is but like sweet Flowers , or a fine delightful Voice ; they can only for a little time , recreate and refresh the Senses , but can never benefit the Soul , or satisfie the necessities of the Body ; which can never be fully fed , either by the Ears or Eyes .

And as the light of the Sun , tho it be of a most excellent general influence , yet alone could produce nothing ; so a general Jeering wit , of it self can never bring forth any thing to strengthen the judgment , or improve the understanding ; because it will not make use of the good Guides of Vertue , Prudence , Sobriety , and Piety , to direct it , on what Subject it may fall on , on what occasion it should be imploy'd in , and by what degrees and measures it ought to move , with fitting considerations of the persons , time , and place ; and such Wits as will not observe these Rules , their drolling Wit will work like new Wine in old Bottles , which will be sure to burst and flie about , to the prejudice of themselves as well as others .

And now if the vain Ladies will but give themselves the trouble to observe carefully one of these common pretenders to rallying wit , ( for all jeering wits are but pretenders ; for if they had good wit , they would never be jeerers ) you will find such a one chiefly made up of those four Elements in composition , viz. Extravagancy and Dissimulation , Cowardise and Indiscretion , all which he practises to every point of the Compass , guiding all his rambling talk by them , which is commonly so rude and abusive , as it causes all modest and vertuous persons to shun and detest the company , and acquaintance ; for the hearts and tongues of such Men like ill Neighbours hardly ever meet in Unity and Communion one with another , they living in their bodies , as their eyes do in their heads , which tho still very near , yet never see one another ; in short your Jeerers commonly want justice and consideration , either to speak what they think , or to think of what they speak , shooting their words at meer random ; and so will be sure to have their share in the Proverb , That a fools bolt is soon shot , for their Tongue can only abuse themselves , not others : They hate a quiet setled Life , being never at rest , but whilst they are rambling from one Company to another , and never so well as when in motion ; like some froward Infants , that are never at quiet longer than they are Rock'd in the Cradle , and assoon as that is at rest , they are not . And now I have nam'd a Cradle , I cannot but fancy that many of these ignorant pretenders to wit , got a knock in their Cradle , which has hindered their Brains , and consequently their Tongues , from being well setled ever since .

And as one may rationally enough conclude of the common Habit and Dress of a Nation , by only seeing one just come out of it , that lived long in it ; so I fancy I may here venture to make a short description of the common nature of most of these drolling abusive Wits , by here making a Just representation , and giving you a true Picture of one of them , tho in little .

A common publick pretender to Jeer and abuse others , with his rallying Wit , is usually one , who makes it his great delight , and chief business to inquire , and prie into , others Mens words and actions , and to make his venomous Reflections on them , he only passing through their Discourses , as a Spie does an Enemies Country , with a mischievous design , to observe and return Intelligence of the defects and weakness in it , and then to be sure to attack those weaker parts with his sharp abuses ; for if a Man has never so many vertues , and has but one vice , he will be sure to skip them all , to fall foul on that one ; as flies leave the whole body , to fasten on the least gawl'd patch : for such abusive Wits are like Surgeons , who live by others hurts , and have nothing to do with those parts that are sound .

A censorious scoffing Wit , is ordinarily composed , and made up of such a kind of Stuff as Fire-ships are , which serve for no other use , and are built and kept for no other purpose than to do mischief ; the only good in them consists in doing harm , so the spirit and quintessence of these Mens ill temper'd venom , lies chiefly in abusiveness , turning all their Notes to the same Tune that the Philistins did Samsons words , only to raise and spend their mirth on , though to the prejudice of their dearest Friends , and nearest Relations , which they had rather lose than their Jest .

A common Talkative raillier ought by his Trade to be so couragiously stout , or rather fool hardy , as not to fear jeering every one ; and yet indeed the Generality of them are so tame and Cowardly ( for a generous mind scorns such a base and mean imployment ) as to endure ( as he well deserves ) the slights and contempts of all he plays upon ; for tho he makes War against the whole Kingdom with his Tongue , yet he dares not fight with one Man in it with his Sword , and indeed for this he may well pretend some reason , ( which I am sure he cannot for Jeering all Men , ) first because a Sword is much sharper , and can wound far deeper than his Tongue ; and next if he should fight with every Man he raillies , and takes the liberty to abuse , he must fight more Duels in the Field , than ever Captain Bessus received Challenges in the Play ; but my Gentleman is too wise in his Mirth to expose his body to such a sharp Encounter . In a word , if you desire to see this fierce Satyrist drawn to the life , you need but look on S. George's picture drawn a horseback , where he is still holding up his hand , but never strikes ; for he fears danger like a poor-spirited Mortal , though he lives , as if he thought he should never die .

This sort of Men that make it their business , with their pretending Wit , to abuse all Persons ; all the ill I need say of them , ( for they say enough of themselves ) is , that they take upon them an employment which they must have a great share of Wit to perform well , and must much want discretion to undertake at all ; for at best if they are Masters of any Wit , they employ it ill , since they do not live so much by their own wit , as by others folly .

I hope now the vain Ladies that are given to Jeering will please to take notice , that I have on this Subject used them with the same respect that Tutors do young Princes , who when they have committed any great fault , instead of whipping them , whip their favourite play-fellow , for their Fault ; that the Prince seeing the severe punishment used on their favorite boy , may by his Chastisement avoid acting himself , the like fault for the future .

So tho I do not here name the Ladies , that are given to this filthy ill-natured vice ; yet I assure them this Discourse was writ meerly for them , and aims only at them , as knowing it a Crime , that most of them through vanity do affect ; and truly this base fault of Censuring must needs appear worse in a young Lady , than in any other ; for as a black spot shews the clearer , the whiter the skin is that 't is placed upon ; so sharp raillery , and abusive wit , appear the more black and foul , coming out of the mouth of a beautiful Lady , whose words ought to be full of sweetness suitable to her looks .

And let me tell you this great Truth , that our pert Censorious Ladies might in a far shorter time , and with much less pains , and abundant more content to themselves gain the blessed Title of good Christians , than the bad Character of being witty and profane Jesters ; which can only for a little time give them the applause of some irreligious and ill disposed persons , whose praises are really but discommendations : Whereas a truly pious and vertuous Lady , will still justly deserve , and ever constantly receive the true esteem and commendation of godly sober Men in this World ; besides securing to herself Eternal happiness in the next .

Therefore if any of our vain Ladies desire to attain this happy state of bliss , let me here assure them , that their right way to it , is wisely and charitably to Judge themselves , and not others , and instead of Jeering at others defects to mend their own ; by first repenting of their own immoralities , and then being sorry for those that do not the like for theirs ; for as wise Seneca says , He that does good to another , does good to himself , not only in the Consequence , but in the very present act of doing it ; for the Conscience of well doing , is a very pleasant ample reward in it self ; and therefore ( I am sure ) tho it be a very unmodish advice , yet 't is a very good Christian doctrin , not to undo a Ladies reputation to please your own boundless and extravagant fancy in being admired and thought witty in doing mischief , and therefore 't is rather a Christian duty if you see your Neighbour lie under any affliction , or live under any imputation of scandal , that you are free from , to correct your proud and high minded thoughts in fancying that by this you merit so much better than she ; but rather thank God , that he is more merciful to you than her , and be still reforming other Womens faults , by your own good example , rather than continue to inflame them by your sharp invectives , and malicious Censures , which often create bitter Enemies , but seldom make good Friends or better Christians .

Solomon says , Prov. 20.3 . It is an honour to avoid strife , but every fool will be medling ; all Ladies ought so to govern their Discourses , as to make them civil and obliging , not indiscreet and Censorious ; but to be suited to the time , place , and company you are in , for airy talk , and rallying mirth , would not agree but look ill at a sad , and grave Funeral assembly ; and so on the other hand , an abundance of gravity and reservedness must be very unbecoming , as being very unsuitable to a Jovial Wedding-Company met only to feast , dance and be merry ; for then gravity would pass for a kind of dislike as if you censured others jollity .

We read in Scripture of Tongue Murderers , who tho they are bloudless , yet are not guiltless ; and Solomon says , That a whisperer separates chief Friends ; and yet how common is it among our vain young witty Ladies , to make defamation their chief talk , and whispering of lies against their Neighbours the main Topicks of their Discourse , if not the constant entertainment of their Visiters , esteeming it but a part of modish Repartee and fine breeding , to ralily at and censure others , and to make sport at their infirmities ; nay often create falts meerly to make sport , so they be but wittily invented , no matter how unjustly they are raised ; sure such Ladies never read that saying of Solomon , That to do mischief is the sport of a fool , and he that uttereth a slander is one ; and therefore she must be much worse than a fool , that not only vents , but invents slanders .

How common is it among our vain witty Ladies , to make a quarrel , rather than lose a Jeer , and disoblige a good Neighbour , sooner than stifle a witty Jest ; and so as the Wise man says , make sport with casting out Fire-brands , never considering , ( at least not caring , ) that an unjustice done to your Neighbour is a sin against God ; for tho you really only aim it at your Neighbour , yet being forbidden by God , your disobedience renders it a sin against God himself : And 't is little less to Jeer at any ones natural defects or infirmities , as being born ugly , crooked or the like , since 't is in a manner reproaching God for making them so .

But why should I spend time in taking notice of Ladies jeering at others ill shapes , bad faces , or little wit , when many of the young Atheistical fry of our times , are so profane , as to pick out faults , in Gods sacred Word , and so railly at , what they ought to adore , and can only hope to be saved by ; I am sure our blessed Saviours Doctrin is so far against the scandalous abuses and censures of the Age , wherewith some reproach their Neighbours , who have been possibly injurious to them ; that he forbids us to return them never so little , tho they are giving us never so much , but commands us not to rail and jeer at them , that jeer and rail at us ; but to pray for our Enemies , and to do good to those that spitefully use us ; God having instituted it as a Fundamental Law to Mankind , not to do our Neighbours any harm , in Body , Goods , or good Name ; but to do them all the good we can in every of them .

In short , this is the sad and unequal deportment of most vain handsom Ladies , both as to themselves , and others ; which is to be angry with their Neighbours without a Cause , and never to be angry at themselves , tho they have one , many of the vain Ladies esteeming it a sufficient ground of quarrel , and anger , at other young Ladies for being more handsom than they ; but forget at the same time to be offended at themselves for being less pious than them , in not loving their Neighbours as themselves , for if they did , they would never offer , what they would not take .

But so vain and wicked is our Age , as common Custom , and little Consideration , makes many of the vain witty Ladies to fancy , that Romantick Lies , and detracting Jeers , are but Wind , which if granted , yet it cannot be denied , but the often repetition may unite them into a storm of sins ; for does not experience teach us , that light flakes of Snow , that singly scarce weigh any thing , being but a kind of half congealed Atoms , yet do often by their long united Confluence swell into an ability of destroying Houses and Families in spite of their greatest resistance .

Solomon says , Prov. 16.27 . That an ungodly Mans lips is as a burning fire , and in the very next Verse seems to explain what he means by a burning fire ; a froward Man soweth strife , and a whisperer separateth chief Friends , as I said before ; how common is it among the vain Ladies of the times , to lessen their handsom Neighbours beauty , meerly on design that by Eclipsing it , they might make their own shine out the Clearer , and often to raise scandalous Reports to blemish her Reputation among her Friends , and Lovers ; it being indeed too common a practice among them to whisper about ill Reports of their Neighbours as told them abroad from others , when really they were Coin'd at home by themselves . O vain Ladies , if you will not for your own and shame sake , at least for vertue and honour sake , abandon raising all wicked scandals on your Neighbours , and banish from your practice , all impertinent senseless strifes , all censuring twatles , and sharp offensive scoffs , which tho a mode vice , is so great a Crime , as it truly requires a strict Repentance , and a high Reparation for the offence to the Persons so injured ; and that such scandalous Jeerers would for the future , as David says , Keep a Bridle in their Mouth , that they offend not with their Tongue ; and so new mould , and well regulate it , as instead of using it as an Engine to rack their Neighbours Reputation with , they may henceforward , employ and consecrate it to the setting out , and stretching forth , their vertue and good name ; and let all your strife be in a pious Emulation of vertue and holiness , and in religious endeavors who shall excel , and take place in the true and constant practice of them , in their lives and conversation ; for in them consists not only the greatest wisdom , highest wit , but also the best breeding , and most sublime and splended beauty , being the everlasting one of holiness , besides that of pure honour indeed ; for Gospel Heraldry must ever be the very best , for the greatest Monarch in this World must live a sinner , but the meanest Woman in it , by her living a godly and vertuous life , may die a Saint , and therefore it must certainly be much better to live well , and so die happily , than to be born great , left rich , or look handsom ; for the beauty of a fair delicate Complexion , may be a Womans own purchase , not Natures gift , and her high Title , and great Estate , may be left her by her friends , without being in the least merited by her self ; but to be highly pious , and truly vertuous , must most certainly be the true and lawful Issue of a Womans own Religious inclinations : Therefore I shall conclude this Discourse , with this undeniable Truth , That true goodness , is true greatness ; and that Lady will be the greatest in the other World , that lives the best in this .

THE TWELFTH DISCOURSE , Of French Fashions and Dresses , now used in England , by the modish Ladies , and young Sparks .

DIvines tell us , that perfect life may be seen in short measures , & Painters assure us that exact beauty may be drawn in small proportions , and experience shews us , that an infinity of words , is made of a few letters ; and 't is approv'd by the great Wits , and Poets of the Stage , that a short Prologue may suit well with a long Play ; and since I do not here pretend , nor indeed so much as ambition to keep company with their great Wit , I hope they will admit me to follow their short measures , and by their example justifie this my small discourse from appearing very unsuitable to this large Theme .

Solomon in his Character of a Covetous Person , says , He is one whom God hath given riches and honour to , so that he wanteth nothing of all that he desires , but God giveth him not the power to eat thereof ; which is an evil Disease , because such a Man wanteth even what he hath ; what can such a miserable be call'd better than a sad wretch , that makes himself a voluntary Slave , to labour in the Mines of his own wealth , and Vassal-like only to enjoy the drudgery part for his own share , making his wealth a burden , without reaping any true pleasure or advantage by it ; so that such a Man , tho' he be never so rich , must die in debt to himself ; for he strips himself of necessaries during his own life , to make his Children a Wardrobe after his death .

I am sure the prodigality of our London Gallants is after a quite different Manner ; for so they can but make a Wardrobe for themselves and Misses during their own lives many of them care not tho' they leave their Children in a condition to want necessaries after their death , which too many of them can justifie by woful experience ; several of their Fathers Estates , that did belong to them as their Birth-right , by their Parents luxury , pride , and folly , have been made a sacrifice to the extravagant expences , and vain profuseness of their Mistrisses pride , and their own sottishnefs , as that they have left nothing to their Heirs of Inheritance , but the wind , ( as Solomon expresses it , ) Prov. 11.29 . The certain loss of their fathers Estate , and the uncertain getting another for themselves if they can .

I have read of a Philosopher that was perswaded by his friends to leave his retirement for a little time to see a fine Shop plentifully stor'd with all manner of rich things , and fine knacks , and being asked what he thought of all those rare things : I am thinking ( said he ) what a World of things are here I do not want , for what 's more than we use , is more than we need .

I am confident if one of our fine London Ladies had been shewn that sight , and asked that question ; her answer had been , what a World of things I want that are not here , which much justifies a Writers saying , that the ancient Latins called Womens Wardrobe , Mundus , a World ; yet I find in the Map of Womens ornamental Dresses , reckoned by the Prophet Isaiah , the sum total of them there named , to be but twenty one ; which clearly shews the vast difference between the twenty one years of Men , and the twenty one Dresses of Women ; for by the Law of our Kingdoms , all Mens years under one and twenty , are not allow'd to reach discretion ; but our Prophet seems here to say , that by the Law of God , all Womens Dresses , that amount to , much more that pass beyond twenty one , must exceed all discretion ; for certainly they must be too many for Women to wear , whom God declares too many for him to like .

And tho without any dispute 't is a sin to doubt , that those ornamental Dresses which the Creator thinks too many , no Woman Creature but ought to esteem more than enough ; yet so extravagant and phantastical are many of our fine Ladies and Gallants , as they are so far from esteeming that Number sufficient , as they send almost every week to Paris , for such supplies of new fashion Dresses , as one might as soon Climb up to the Top of all Numbers , as to hope to reckon the numberless variety of Womens Dresses ; there belonging much more Rigging to set out a young Lady , than a Man of War ; so hard 't is to cast up the variety of parts , as now adays belong to compleat a great Modish Ladies Dress and Equipage .

And therefore I fancy an old Philosopher gave both a good Reason and true Character of the fashion of rich Dresses , That 't was the deadly catching Disease of Women , and the foolish passion of men . Indeed I find no reason to believe any of these kind of Ladies are knowing in Philosophy , because they cannot be lovers of Wisdom , that are haters of Discretion which makes a main part of it . But I have a great deal of reason to believe that they are knowing in Satans Arithmatick , and too well understand sinful Subtraction , and vain Multiplication , since we find so many of them can Subtract the Ten Commandments to the scarce keeping of one , and multiply the twenty one ornamental Dresses , to the using of hundreds .

And the worst of it , is , that not one of these twenty one Dresses are a kin to those S. Peter advised the Women of his time to wear , which was not putting on Gold , or curling Hair , or what is Corruptible , but the Ornaments of a meek and quièt Spirit , 1 Pet. 3.3 , 4. which exactly suits the true beauty of Religion , which the Apostle says , is of great price in the sight of God , for that will render Women of so pious a Temper , as tho the youthful gaiety of their human Nature , may make them think of the vain dresses of the times , yet their sanctified minds will never let them forget to be true followers of the state of Eternity .

Indeed 't is a hard measuring Cast , whether their variety of vain extravagant Dresses , deserves more Mens sober pity , or contempt , most , I am sure are fitter for either , than my description ; yet I must be Charitable to them , tho they are far from being so to themselves , as to wish that these our fine young modish Ladies , and their Gallants , would keep more Commandments , and use fewer Dresses , that they might thereby lessen their own particular vanities , and moderate the general English out-cry against French fashions , which many think have not only over-run , but near destroyed , all our noble ancient great way of Living ; and grave kinds of sober Dresses .

Sure if our fine young Ladies and great Modists , would but a little seriously reflect of what most of their fine Clothes are made , they would not be so proud to glory in , what they really ought to be asham'd off ; for the fine Silks we wear , are but the workings of poor little Worms , and our finest Cloth is made of the Wooll of Sheep ; so that our covering was but that of Beasts , till our pride and vanity robb'd them of it .

And indeed our great adored Mistris Mony , which all , of all sorts receive with so great joy , and entertain with so high delight , as the only true happy , and undecaying Mistris in this World , for all Love her passionatly at once , and what 's yet stranger than all , both Sexes are still constant in their eager love , and great fondness of her ; nay Solomon had so great an esteem and value for Money , as he said it answered all things , yet if we truly look into its Extraction , we shall find it as very mean as that of our Clothes , for as Seneca well observes , That Gold and Silver were still mixt , and never kept better Company than Earth and Dust , till avarice and ambition raised and parted them , and so they became our Masters as well as Mistrisses .

O how strangely is Apparel Metamorphosed ! We read in Genesis that it was first used to hide our Shame , but now 't is worn to shew our Pride , and God knows if we truly consider , we are very far from having any reason to boast of our Apparel , since 't is but the cover of Shame and Sin , and therefore we ought to wear it but as deep mourning for the great loss of our dear friend Innocency .

Nor can any deny , but that Mourning is a Garment fitter according to the strictest niceties of our very present Modes , to denote true sadness , than set out vain glory ; to manifest grief , than express joy ; yet so evil is our present Age , as many of the wicked brood of elder Brothers , who as one said , pray for their Fathers lives , but not their living , plainly shew at their Fathers death , in what a manner they are concern'd for his loss , ( not theirs ) by their chearful Countenance , and Gay Lives ; which clearly Proclaim that they Mourned rather because their Fathers lived so long , than died so soon , and so make their long funeral Cloaks , ( which usually weigh heavier on their Backs , than the cause of them on their Hearts , ) rather a Habit of great Joy , than true Mourning .

But real Mourning hath nothing to do with our French Dresses , therefore this discourse shall have no more to do with it ; and I will now return to my Subject , and mind you that the French have brought into England so many strange Fashions , as 't is to be feared our young fry of Nobility , and Gentry , will esteem piety and vertue as things quite out of fashion , and use ; and indeed their Lives cannot be more extravagant and vain , than their Apparel , if I can properly say they have any left .

Certainly if Sir John Suckling had lived to these times , he might well have added to that pithy saying of his , This trifle Woman , will unman us all , and uncloath us too , for Doublets are quite left off by all the Modists : And for the Breeches most of our young Sparks , and some of the old Fops have lost them also , being generally given by our Gallants to their Mistrisses , and by the meer Country Gentlemen to their Wives , which by the by , is a new Mode that contradicts the old Law , to confound the Habits of several Sexes ; so that if our Women increase thus in Power , and our Men continue so in folly , 't is very probable , that those of the next Age may see our English Modists pictur'd as they do Truth , that 's naked .

These sort of Men , if I may properly call them Men that have lost their Manhood , having left off their Doublets , and yielded up their Breeches , have nothing on to wear but their Coats , which may indeed serve to cover their Nakedness , but can never hide their Shame ; for so degenerating is their temper as to make themselves servants to Women , whom by their birth-right they ought to rule over as Lords and Masters ; and what is worse and stranger than all this , to be pleased and glory in their servitude .

I read of a great Politician that Counselled his Prince , to reflect on the dangerous consequence that might happen by admitting his Subjects to receive Pensions from forrein Kings ; and his reason was , that forrein food , was apt to breed forrein blood in them . And indeed 't is a saying as very true , as old , that use is a second nature ; we being apt to like best , what we are accustom'd to most ; both history and our own experience afford us many strange examples of the nature of Custom , and among those many , one of an English Gentleman , who was in my time in the Gallies at Marseillies ; where by long Custom of being so , he not only grew a Contended Slave , but if I may so say , a Voluntier ; for he was a good Gentleman of the Family of the Courtnies , and ( as he said ) had some prospect of an Estate in England ; yet he chose to continue that kind of Life , rather than enjoy his Liberty , which they say was offered to be procured for him ; which mad refusal of his , has totally defeated half the French Proverb , That there can be no such thing in Nature , as an ugly Mistris , or a handsom Prison .

'T is an old Curse among the Turks , I wish you as little rest as a Christians Hat , and I wish it may not grow a new Curse among the Christians , I wish you as little rest as an English Fashion , for they are now so much Frenchefied , as they change oftner than the Moon , and rest as little as the Sea , which is in a continual motion : And I think I may properly enough say of Fashions , what a Writer said of Serving-Men , such as are extraordinary Tall are entertained for Porters to Lords ; and such as are very Low , are taken to be Dwarfs to Ladies , whilst Men of a good middle-size Stature , often want Masters .

So all extremities of Fashions are worn by many of the Lords and Ladies , but a sober moderate Dress few will entertain .

So much have these extremities of French Fashions infatuated our minds , and debauch'd our fancies , that those that do not exactly follow their Measures ( tho they are above all needful use , and very much beside all decent sobriety ) are esteem'd as great Phanaticks , and Dissenters to the gentile Rules of modish Dressing , as any Nonconformist can be to the Government of Church Discipline .

Thus we have fool'd our selves into such ridiculous extreams , as to make the French superfluities , to become not only the Standard of our Fashions , but the very necessity of our Apparel ; Paris being for Fashions , like the Camelion for its Colours , who gives them to all beholders , whereas in all others we receive them from the Ideas of things we meet with .

And indeed the French Fashions change so often , and cost so dear , that many of our young Fops that are newly got into their Estates , but not at all into their years of discretion , do follow their vain fashions and so ( to be esteemed modishly well bred , ) in a little time , are forced to sell their real Estates for ever ; and if 't were not for fear of grating your Ears with the unsavory sound of a Clinch , I was just going to say , that they are the very worst sort of Fools , that will sell English Lordships to buy French Manners .

As our Conditions are not alike , so our Dresses ought not to be the same , for our Clothes must match our Revenue , as well as fit our Body , for great Expences become a poor Man , as a large Switzers Breeches does a Dwarf . The Cost of keeping a great Table , a rich Equipage , and a large Retinue , being only for a Person of great Quality , and good Estate ; and he that sells his Lands , only to live at such a ranting extravagant rate , in a few Months shews his great folly , as well as merits the misery of sad want .

Apparel like a River , is only good and useful , whilst kept within the Banks and Limits of Moderation , but when it begins to swell and break out into excess , it is so far from being useful , as it still proves pernicious if not destructive .

We read that the Romans were so very cautious and wise , as to banish out of their Republick , such as should attempt to give any new advice in it , and I fancy the reason for it was , that they believed there were more bad , than good Men in their Republic ; and therefore such more forward to receive ill Advice , than hearken to good Counsel . And since I put no Name here , I will venture to say , 'T were well the same Rule were used as to Dresses , and that any one that brought into England a new fashion'd Dress according to the Paris Mode , might be banished it ; because 't is most certain there are more of our young Men and Women , extravagantly given , than vertuously inclin'd ; and consequently more apt to imitate a new Mode , especially if a French Dress , than any sober decent Apparel of their own Country Growth ; for indeed it may be truly said of our English following French fashions , what a Writer said of Aristotle , that whatsoever indigested notions he vomited up , there were many young Philosophers ready to lick them up ; I am sure what extravagant fashions the French wear , too many people are apt to approve and follow .

Really I cannot now but laugh , as well as wonder , when I think how our young English Nobility and Gentry , are tied and confined to the strict Rules of the French fashions ; for our English Judgments ( in that grand affair of Dresses ) are only admitted to imitate and approve , and many imitate what they do not approve ; for their Fancies are not allow'd to invent or choose , scarce add or diminish , but we must forsooth with an implicit Faith , reverence what the French wear , and to be as infallible a rule to our English Modes , as a Church Decree is a Guide to those of the Roman Faith .

In a word , our young Gallants are grown so very vain in their Apparel and Dresses , that desiring to see change and excess of vanity , we need but look on one anothers vain change of Dresses , being almost as diverse as the Persons that wear them ; and therefore 't is impossible to view them all , but I can give you in a line this exact and true Character of them , That our Modes are become the effects of our vain fantastick Prodigality , and more irregular Inconstancy .

Indeed all our vain expensive French Dresses , may make the Ladies or Gallants finer , but never better or worser ; for Embroidered Clothes to our Bodies , are but like flowers of Rhetoric in Speeches ; they make the words sound the sweeter , but render not the sense the better , it may please the Ear , but it does not improve the Judgment : Or like silver Dishes on a Table , they may shew their own Costliness , but they make no addition or goodness to the Meat they contain , whatever they may do to the fancy of the Eater , or Observer .

Really if we would but allow Conscience or Reason a Vote in this affair , we should soon be assured by them ; that there appears more true wisdom , and satisfaction in giving one Penny , as an Alms-deed for Christ's sake , than in laying out many Pounds on bravery for our own ; more real fine in Clothing one that 's naked , on a pious account of true Charity , than by bedawbing twenty footmen in Gold or Silver rich Liveries on the score either of vanity or Fashion , and that because it suits the London or Paris Mode . For I esteem Livery-men ( excepting those that are really necessary to a Mans person and Quality ) but just so many Porters that are hired to carry about a Mans pride and folly , and the several Colours of his Liveries to be but so many Lures , and Jack Puddings to draw mens Eyes to behold a fair shew , not only of his own Pride , but often of his Merchants loss ; for 't is now grown no common wonder , especially in London , to see young Sparks Clothes , and their Footmens Liveries to last longer in their Merchants books , than on their own , or Footmens backs , and they turned off , before the Books are Crossed out .

In a word , I wish our French fashions , may not prove fatal follies , by being soon naturalized into English Customs ; for then let them be never so costly , ridiculous , and vain , like blackness among the Aethiopians , the commonness may remove their deformity , but can never smother the prejudices against them .

I will now only add this Consideration to conclude all , in reference to our fine young Frenchefied Ladies , and that is , that they would seriously reflect on the end of all their fine Modish Dresses , and their greater loss of pretious time they wast about them , which occasions their minding so much the fineness of their Bodies , as many of them neglect by it the care of their Souls , the best and only lasting part ; and therefore they should remember that they must die certainly , tho' they now live pleasantly , and then all their plenty of finch rich Frenchefied Dresses will be contained in one poor Winding-sheet , and their exact slender shape in a Coffin , and all their fine Gallants , and constant admirers , will leave them at the Grave , where their Bodies will be only fit to be enjoyed by nasty worms .

This ( young Ladies ) is the true Epilogue to the sad Tragedy of your vain Dresses , and what 's yet worse than all , your Souls will be in as sad a condition as your Bodies after death without a hearty Repentance , which can never be without a real amendment , in abandoning , not only great Sins , but vain excesses , as well in Dresses , as wasting time about them , and that you come to esteem them as Solomon did the pleasures of this World , only as vanity of vanities .

Therefore all you young Ladies , that desire to cloath your Souls in a Heavenly dress , adorn your Lives with constant Piety , and your Bodies with modest and decent Clothing , such as wasts not too much of your time or Estate ; but wear still what is most generally worn , and then you may be sure , that few persons will either gaze or laugh at you .

THE THIRTEENTH DISCOURSE , Of Worldly Praises , which all Ladies love to receive , but few strive to merit ; with the sad end of it and them , when they come to Die .

WOrldly Praise is a Subject I shall write little of , for these two Reasons , first that I need not write for it , and next that I dare not write against it , for as one the one hand it would be vain and superfluous to make that my business to commend , what all Praise ; so on the other side , it would argue a great folly to write against that all the World writes for ; therefore to prevent all I can writing superfluously or foolishly , I shall only glance this Discourse on the Worlds high esteem , and eager ambition after vain Praises ; the desires of gaining it being as inseparable from most Men and Womens Actions , as Light is from the Sun , or heat from fire , and shall only name the common ways to it , and the usual end of it , and them , when they come to die .

Praise is that great Idol , which all people in the World adore and flatter as the Supream object of their pleasure and delight , as having a perfect influence over all our Actions of what kind , degree , and quality whatsoever . And therefore let publick Writers say what they will , and pretend what they please , self Praise is the Jack they all Bowl at , tho many take several Grounds to it . And tho some Writers are more humble , and reserv'd ; more moderate , and less opinionaters of their own Writings , less apt to Censure those of others , that differ in Opinion from theirs , than usually most kind of Writers are ; yet all of them court Praise , tho in several shapes and differing manners .

Some court Praise by their ingenious Writing , others think to gain it by their witty speaking , and a third sort hope to procure it by a discreet silence , relying upon wise Solomon's saying , a Man of understanding holdeth his peace , and a Fool useth many Words .

The finest Ware is usually the closest wrapt up , and Silence is not only still useful to shelter a Fool , but often to discover a wise Man . 'T is wisdom to speak when one ought , and folly when we ought not ; he needs much Reason that speaks well , but a little serveth him that holdeth his Peace ; since he that takes upon him to speak wisely on a Subject , but does it simply , all hearers are Judges and witnesses of his folly , but he that is silent , none can justly tell whether he can speak wisely or not , and so as to him , ought to hold their Peace , because he does his .

There are as many Roads and Paths to Praise as there are employments , I think I might well venture to say all Actions in the World , and hope of Praise is the common Guide and Conductor general to them all , making the greatest Enemies , and most distant Inhabitants of the World , to agree in the bands of unity and friendship .

Praise is the greatest of all Levellers , for it brings the highest and lowest degrees of Men to an equality ; for the greatest Monarch in the World , and the meanest Subject in his Station are alike as to their desires of Praise , tho they vastly differ in the manner and degrees of aspiring to it ; Praise is as a Sum writ in Figures , 't is every Nations Language , and is , and will be every Countries ambition .

And 't is well worth observation , that this thing called Praise , is so light , airy , and volatile , as tho few are such Fools to hope for a Livelihood solely from it , yet many are so mad as to expose their Lives meerly for it .

Really the fine young Ladies need but open their Eyes , and they cannot but behold their partiality , in distributing of their Praises to others , and in receiving others praises to themselves ; for if one of the Ladies is Mistris of any one quality that they know is truly esteemable , they believe all the World looks on it , but then oversees all their vices that are apparently faulty ; so very wicked many young Women are , as to be more apt and ready , to see and blame their own faults in others , than to consider or mend them in themselves .

And the like measures they usually observe , as to the beauties , or defects of their bodies , if they have any part that is very handsom , they fancy all that look on them fix their eyes on it ; but if their Nose or Eyes be ugly , they think none takes notice of them ; but I desire the Lady that pretends to praises after this rate , to oblige me , or rather themselves , so much as seriously to consider this very plain question . If you should see a fine young Gentleman , of a fam'd vertuous Life , and most excellently well bred , and highly renown'd for his true humility , and great Charity ; in a word , that was a Person indued with all the excellencies both of body and mind , that can render a Man compleatly perfect and admirable , only that he wanted an Eye ; pray ask your self , if you should not be more ready to observe and blame the blemish of that one Eye , than to praise any of all his Excellencies ; I am confident you cannot deny but you should , and sure such a blind kind of imputation in you , is as bad as the want of an Eye in him ; for perhaps he lost his Eye by a fit of sickness , as many do in the Small Pox , which is now his great trouble , but never was at all his own fault , and therefore we ought rather to pity that misfortune , than jeer at that defect : Or suppose he met that loss in his Infancy , and was in a manner born so ; might you not then as wisely , and reasonably , despise the two grand Seasons of the Year , the Summer for being too hot , and the Winter too cold , when they are not too immoderate , but you too foolish , for esteeming them so .

There is no Womans beauty under the Sun , that is so intirely perfect as to be without some Fault , for then she must be more than Woman ; nay the very glorious Sun it self is not without its Eclipses ; yet sure none can be so very foolish as not to admire and praise its splendour and brightness , though 't is sometimes obscured with a Cloud .

Nor can you propose to your self , that 't is a think fitting or reasonable to despise and railly any man , because he cannot work Miracles , and perform impossibilities , by raising the dead to life ; for 't would be as ridiculous in any one to hope to restore a lost Eye , by wishing for it , as you to change the Seasons of the Year , by your blaming of them .

Therefore let me advise you instead of raillying at what cannot be help'd in others , strive to mend those Faults which may be yet cured in your self , which can never be well done , till you still behold the defects of others with a sad troubled Eye , which you cannot forbear doing , if you observe as you ought Gods Command of loving your Neighbour as your self , for his afflictions must be then yours , as well as yours are now your own : And his blemishes or faults would be but so many Memorandums of your own frail defects , and so must render you more fit , and better disposed to , support those of others , and rather make it your business to be concern'd for them , than your pastime to jeer at them .

In a word , the young Lady that enjoys that share of beauty , which perhaps her Neighbour is troubled for the want of , let it not render her proud , that she is more celebrated than another , but rather let her express her humility , and make it the great motive of her praise to God , that he has been so liberal to her in this perfection .

But to return to my design'd Subject , Praises that are not stampt with true vertue and great merit , are but meer Air ; all false Tongues can flatteringly give them , but 't is only your own vertues that can justly merit them .

'T is with Praises , as with Faults , they that charge you with those you are free from , do you no real hurt , and those that present you with praises you no way deserve , do you no real good ; therefore to apply to your self the right use of both , instead of being angry at others for accusing you of some vices you do not act ; be angry with your self for acting the many you do , which is the true way of having Praises , and deserving them too .

Praise is not only the dearly beloved Mistris of Christendom , but also of Turky ; for 't was Praise that was the octasion of making the grand Vizier Mustapha lose so many Men before Vienna ; for his Story tells us , that he did not attempt that Siege so much to serve his Master , as to Court his Mistris , more out of design to gain her , than out of hopes to take it ; but Mustapha was as much mistaken in his measures of Conquering his Mistrisses heart , as in those of taking Vienna ; for by destroying her Husbands life , he totally destroyed her Love , and so made his Mistris to revenge her Husbands death , to beg the Grand Seignior to take away Mustapha's Life , which he did , and by it , she shew'd her kindness to her Husband , and the Grand Seignior his Justice to her .

'T is desire of praise and ambition that makes the French King imploy such vast Sums of Mony , and Armies of Soldiers to work about his Palace of Versaillies , which is rather a Prodigy of Riches , than a Miracle of Nature ; fitter to be wondred at , for the vast expences laid out on it , than to be praised for any agreableness about it , except the Gardens and Water-works , which indeed excel all either of Rome or Florence , and consequently the whole World ; but for the House it self , I could observe nothing in it extraordinary except the rich Gildings both within , and without ; and therefore as to my own opinion of the Place , I think there 's nothing so wonderful in all that glory , as that any one should so much admire it , having neither River , Wood , good Land , or pleasant Prospect about it , being all round about close besieg'd by great coarse and ragged Hills , which cannot add much lustre and glory to the Situation of any place of such vast Expence and Magnificence , so as to be Celebrated by some as one of the Wonders of the World .

We read in History that Alexander the Great expressed much trouble , that he had no more Kingdoms left him to Conquer ; I am sure the French King needs no cause of trouble , for want of more Hills to Conquer and site about his Palace of Versaillies , as long as he lives , tho he had more Men and Mony to employ about levelling them , than now he has . Indeed such a Royal Building of Magnificence well deserved a most pleasant and Stately Situation , but it seems that King thought it more noble & better becoming his greatness to make one by the expence of Art , than to be beholden to one of Natures free bounty , that the World might know , he scorn'd so mean an offer , whilst he has Armies that can level Mountains as plain as he pleases , and Mony to mount Rivers as high as he desires .

And indeed if we range over not only France and Turky , but all the whole World , we shall find that Praise is the Butt all Shoot at , tho few hit the Mark ; for if we but look narrowly into Praises , and consider the Actions , as well as the Persons , they are commonly great Flatterers , and the breath of such Praises , is but like a Rain-bow , which is no other than a meer seeming Collection of many bright Colours , without any true substance , or long duration , one day discovering the folly of the other , and a few days will shew you your own end , and with it the vanity of them all .

Therefore if the young Ladies could but perswade themselves to think seriously of the little reality there is in the Praises Men present them , and the vain pastimes the World deludes them with ; both Women and Men will find that most of their delights are vain and despicable , for the possession of much beauty breeds great pride , and high concern ; and the decay of it creates in such as much discontent and envy at what they then lose , and afterwards see others enjoy . And so 't is the same with many of Mens Worldly delights , which soon become uneasie to the Mind , and often destructive to the Body ; for a debauch of drinking makes most sick and out of order after it , and the enjoyment of handsom ill Women , causes usually foul Pocky Diseases , ( such French punishment , suiting well with such an English transgression ) for the fondness of an unvertuous Love placed on an unchast Womans beauty , is like the Fire of a Candle , which lasts no longer than it flames , and Candle like assoon as its flame is consum'd , it presently expires in a stinking snuff . So such a debauch'd Love ; ( I should have said Lust ) commonly ends with the odious detesting thoughts , of such a foul and lustful passion , which makes him then loath the sinner , as he ought still the sin , and himself for having committed the folly .

And if any one of these Venus Courtiers falls in Love with a truly vertuous Beauty , & hopes to gain his base unchast desires of her , by fierce Courtship , great adoration , large offers of Presents , & all these thick larded with the common false Oaths of the praises of her great beauty , and his great and constant Love , the Lingua franca , of all Gallants which all still swear to observe , but few ever design to perform , and therefore handsom Ladies never ought to Credit ; for surely he that speaks what he does not believe , none ought to believe what he speaks , but is bound in Conscience and Honour , to slight his Courtship , and scorn his Offers , or else she must do much worse , slight her self , and reputation too . 'T is a Proverbial saying , that Love is blind , I am sure such a sort of Lover is ; for he will not see the unjust desires he makes to her , but only minds the unkind returns she makes to him , without ever considering that they spring from her Love to Vertue , and a good Reputation , but vainly fancies 't is her Love to some happy Lover , that 's in her favour , and keeps him out , which disquiets and torments his Amorous mind , with a fierce Jealousie , which Solomon calls the Rage of Love ; and tho young Men are more naturally enflam'd with eager desires in the pursuit of beauty , than old Men are ; for Age to Love , is like Water to Wine , the more quantity of Water , the less strength in the Wine ; but t is most certain old Men are as able Courtiers , and Lovers of Wealth , as any young Men can possibly be ; Riches being like the Sun , agreeable and comfortable to all , and indeed nothing is more common , than to see Covetousness to grow in most with their Age ; and the reason of it in my Opinion is , that all other youthful sprightly delights but that of gaining Wealth , decreases as Age increases ; but the pleasure of Mony , all Men can keep as the Heathen do their Gods they adore , under Lock and Key .

But yet this so adored beauty , Riches , carries its troubles , as well as delights , for there 's great labour in procuring Wealth , trouble in defending and preserving it , and also great Cares in the well spending it whilst one lives , and well disposing of it when we die ; and so if we look over , and search into most Worldly pleasures and vanities , we shall find them as contrary to the true repose of this life , as they are to the felicities of the next .

Certainly there is some great Charm in this thing called Praise , that tickles the ear , inflames the heart , raises the spirits , enlivens the resolution , deludes the reason , flatters the hopes , and deceives the sight , by giving a false gloss , and making a counterfeit representation of things ; for , the Bait of Praises , for which both Men and Women so strive , and eagerly pursue , is still painted and set out in the brightest and most oriental charming Colours that are imaginable , to allure our eyes , inflame our hearts , and enliven our ambition .

But the Hook that is hid in this Bait , that is , the great dangers , hardships , and thousands of vexatious disappointments , that one must necessarily meet , and run thorow , in the pursuit of this Idol folly , is so obscure & artificially drawn , as 't is not commonly seen , but very ordinarily felt by many , in some to their loss of Life , and to others of their greatest satisfactions in it .

And now to put my last finishing Touch to this Picture of Praise , the Mistris and Darling of the whole World , methinks we ought not to wonder that this adored beauty , is so Coy in her Carriage , and so difficult to be gain'd ; if we do but reflect , tho in a wholesail manner , the sad oversights , great mistakes , and blind pursuits of its followers ; of whom I shall only say in general , that some are so eager in gazing at it , others so over earnest in their seeking it , as really most oversee the right way to it , which is by true Piety , constant Charity , and a daily practice of Vertue and Godliness in all their actions : And no wonder that such as will not take these blessed Guides , should miserably miss their way to it , and be sadly defeated in their hopes of it .

And now having done with my Discourse of Praise , give me leave to change the Scene , and to pass by the uncertainty of your meeting it , tho to reflect on the certainty of deaths meeting you , and the terrors that then appear at the end of a vain wicked life ; and to beg the vain young Ladies Company for a little time , that I might lead their thoughts into the sad and dismal Regions of Mortality , that they may now consider it , to prevent it hereafter from surprizing them , and that they may carry their thoughts to the Grave , before their friends carry their Bodies .

The Seasons of our Lives resemble exactly those of the Year , the Summer of our Life swallows up the Spring of our Youth , and the Autumn of our Age makes us to decline , as the Sun does daily of its vigorous heat and influence , till all the fair days , and various productions of natures beauty at last yeild to old Age Winter , as their Grave ; for as the Apostle says , 'T is appointed for every Man once to die , and one day is still the death of the other ; and tho many things may keep back the thoughts of deaths coming , yet nothing can retard the time of his approach .

And now I must humbly beg our vain modish Ladies pardon , if I here a little mind them of the sad concluding Scene of their Life ; and in how miserable a condition some of them must necessarily be in when they come to die , and have wasted all their Life , in Vanity and Sin , little considering Reputation , and less fearing Scandal ; little valuing Conscience , and less esteeming Eternity .

It has often come into my mind , that the sad end of such vain Womens Lives , is like the last Scene of their Loves , to their Gallants , which is just as an Ague turned upside down , the cold fit after the hot ; for when the fiery passions of youthful Love are changed through their Inconstancy , or worn out by Age , or wasted by Sickness ; for you know that Loves-vanity , is but of a short date , it either vanishes in the act , and is nipped in its gay and vigorous blossom , like the tender-leav'd Plants , by a cold Northern-wind ; or else grows wrinkled and impotent , like crooked and deform'd shrubs , for want of fap and moisture , and so grows loathsom and deformed as the grim Jaws of Death , that will too at last come with a dreadful stroak to level all our fair Cedars to the ground , and make your beauty ( Ladies ) to consume away like a Moth fretting a Garment ; every Woman is therefore but vanity : and when you are thus brought to your Death-beds of pain and languishing ; O then Consider what a sad condition you must needs be in , when you will find all your fond beauty and vanity going off the Stage , when your life is just expiring , when the scorching thoughts of your past vain life come to inflame your mind more fiercely , than the burning Feaver can your body , and that the remembrance of your past extravagant pride and vanity will torment your troubled Conscience more , than ever before they pleased your sensual appetite , and that the shivering fit of guilt , not only seizes your heart , but pierceth your very soul , with sad and sober thoughts of your past sins , and the strict account that you must soon give of them , and of the terrible punishments that you must justly suffer for them ; when perhaps you cannot comfort your afflicted Conscience with the assurance of having so much as performed in your whole life one pious act , or charitable deed , when you had both time and means to have performed thousands ; and so as too many of you do , lose the blessings of the other World , meerly for slighting Gods mercies in this .

And farther 't will be well worth the consideration of our vain Ladies , that when they lie a dying , the sins of their life will flie about their troubled minds , as naturally as sparks do about fire , and will lighten them to a clear sight of their pride and vanity ; and their greatest trouble when they are leaving this World , is what will become of them when they are out of it ; and truly it will not be without great cause , since their Consciences will then assure them , that their Bodily pain in this Life , will be but the Prologue or first step to their Souls eternal misery in the next .

Whereas a pious young Lady who with holy David , makes a covenant with her Eyes that they should not behold vanity , but observe Gods commandments as her chief study and delight ; by truly living in his fear , she will certainly die in his favour , and will find at her death , that her good Conscience will be her real friend , and true comforter , and furnish her with a chearful readiness to submit her will to Gods , which will never fail to protect her against all those spiritual conflicts and temptations of Conscience , which still rack and torture ill Womens minds when they come to die ; for tho God casts her on her Bed of sickness and pain , yet he will be sure to lift her up with the arms of mercy ; and bless her with the assurance of a perfect state of Bliss , after her painful life is ended ; for tho Death be the wages of Sin , yet a Pious death , is but the passage to a Heavenly Life . And a Religious vertuous Woman at her death will as certainly enter into a state of eternal Felicity , as an impious vain and wicked one will into that of deserved misery .

Solomon says , That the fear of God is not only the beginning of wisdom but the end of it ; for it teacheth you to regulate your desires , and purifie your actions , as it will make you live well , in order to die so . So that indeed our good actions concur in their influence towards the happiness of our souls , as the Sun does in motion to the Dial ; the Dial is not the true cause of the Suns motion to it , yet by the Suns shining on the Dial , you may truly Judge of the true motion of the Sun .

But leaving aside that dispute whether good works can only merit Heaven , or not ( as the Papists teach , ) I am sure living a pious vertuous life in the faith of the holy Jesus , will certainly carry you there ; this all Ladies know , but few will practise , or so much as think of , I mean as you ought ; for you usually defer all thoughts of the other World , till you are just parting out of this , when alas the time present is only yours ; for that past is no more , and that to come is not yet , so that you do but live between them both ; the present being the only time you can properly call yours , for God well knowing what great Prodigals you are of it , is so providently merciful , as to trust you only with a Minute at a Time ; for as he gives you one , so he still takes away the other , as a Lesson of instruction , not to rely on any time but the present , and to perform all your Christian duties in it , as the only time appointed you by God for it . And Ladies if you will but employ this present time as you ought , you will certainly find time enough in it , to enjoy both the delights of this World , and to secure you the felicities of the next .

By this all our vain Ladies may easily know , and joyfully conclude , that there needs no great difficulty in obtaining Heaven , since it only requires , ( as I have told you ) a strict pious and vertuous life to compass it ; which may easily be done , if you will but spend half so much time in serving your God , as you daily wast in looking on your Glass ; in praying for your Soul , as in setting out your Face , which must certainly , nay perhaps suddenly , stink , rot , and be eaten up by nasty Worms . And really supposing there was no such place of Bliss , as Heaven for the Godly , nor yet of Torment , as Hell for the wicked ; yet a pious vertuous life , cannot but be more healthful for the body , and more satisfactory to the mind , than excess , pride and vanity , can be to either .

Next 't is worth your consideration to think , how little true content most of you can find in this World , and how little time 't is you can enjoy that little you do desire ; for such considerations cannot but render you somewhat sensible , of your great and extravagant folly in all your ludicrous sports and pastimes , unskilfully gaming away your souls ; so as in a manner to set Eternity against a Moment , I mean , the Momentary pleasures of this life , which cannot last , before the joys of Heaven , which are everlasting ; and sure there can be nothing more foolish than to rely on the duration of your abode on Earth , as any solid and lasting possession , there being nothing more frail and tottering than the Basis your life stands on ; for tho you are never so healthful , yet you cannot but find in your self , some marks and symptoms of Mortality , which may serve as Advertisements of the instability of this your earthly being , which is subject to a thousand Diseases , and a torrent of Accidents , especially in you fine young Ladies , whose bodies are so tenderly built , and nicely composed , as the leaving off a Hood , or wanting of a Skarf ; the least crum of Bread , that sticks in your Throats , or the smallest stop in the course of your Blood , ( I had almost said or motion of your Tongues ) puts the whole O●●onomy of your body in disorder , if not utter ruin , witness as an instance of this accidental mortality , Pope Adrian , who as story says , was choaked with a Flie ; nay your very food , the support and maintainet of your life , ought to be a Memorandum of your Mortality , since you cannot live without it ; and if sleep be the Image of death , you are by the very necessities of your nature , to die every night , during the few days you live .

But whether you live long , or die early , you must certainly Die ; and you are in this as well as in all things else , to submit your will to Gods , and to bend your greatest endeavors , and fix your strongest resolutions , in an intire obedince to it , which if you truly and heartily do , you must learn the great vertue , and Christian perfection of self-denial , and despise all those worldly flatteries and enjoyments ; mortifie all your excess of vanity and extravagant pleasures , that you may become truly amiable pure and holy in the sight of God ; when you live in compliance to his holy Laws , and submit in all things to his good will and pleasure , who is all love and beauty it self , in the highest measure and perfection ; and therefore the least spot or impurity in your lives , is a direct violence and contradiction to the most excellent nature , and being of an infinitely pure and holy God .

And now before I quite finish this Discourse let me beg one of you Ladies , to suppose your ' self to be in the actual possession of all the worldly pleasures you can fancy , that you enjoy as great honours as your ambition can aspire unto , and as much Beauty , and Riches , as your vain and Covetous humor can thirst after , and as many rarities as your appetite can wish for , and that your Gallant was as kind , handsom and constant as you could wish : In a word , that you thought him as beautiful , as you think your self ; pray do but now consider , what all these will amount to , at the hour of death , and in order to it , reflect a little seriously , what a weak Basis your life stands on ; for according to the common Law of the Land , a Life is valued but at seven Years purchase , and many times by the course of Nature , a Life does not last half so long .

Next if you will but condescend so far to mortifie your self , as to go and visit one of these Lovers of vanity , and railliers of Religion , one of these coynesses of folly , and despisers of vertue , lying sick on her Death-bed , past all hopes of recovery ; and do but observe how her Words and Looks are changed , and indeed the whole Scene of her Life , her Countenance being all shadow'd over with the pale and dismal Colours of Mortality , instead of her gay Vermillion paint ; for all beauty and worldly delights vanish and leave you with your health , being like a Sun Dial , only useful , whilst the Sun shines on it ; then you shall find the but naming her rich Diamond Pendants , and fine Pearl Necklace , her Embroidered Gowns , and Costly Points , will prove troublesom to her , and the sight or smell of her late beloved Dainties will then loath her Stomatch ; nay a visit of her dear Gallant , whom she was so fond of , and delighted in , will be odious to her sight , as well as the thoughts of having too much lov'd him , will be grievous to her mind : Then her Bottles of White-washes , or Cosmeticks will be thrown out , and filled with showers of penitent Tears for having used them : Then her Boxes of Peeter , and Patches , and all her Ornamental knacks and dresses , she was wont every day to wast so much time about , and to take so great pastime in , to adorn and set out her beauty , will only serve to disquiet her thoughts , and the Praises of her beauty , will be but so many disturbances in her Sickness , and she will be then as much troubled to hear them , as she was formerly delighted to receive them , and proud in the vain thoughts of deserving them .

In short , on her Death bed , all her late dearly beloved Vanities , will at that time appear her most afflicting Enemies ; and she will then loudly declare , that nothing but a religious Life , can produce a Comfortable death ; and will then tell you , that if she were the sole Mistris of all the Riches of both the Indies , she would give it all for the blessing of a good Conscience ; for that never leaves one , in Sickness , or in Adversity , but is still the best of Friends , in the worst of times .

THE FOURTEENTH DISCOURSE , Vseful Advices in order to vain modish Ladies well Regulating their Beauty and Lives .

I Humbly beg the vain Ladies pardon for beginning this Discourse so uncivilly , as to tell them , 't is the Opinion of most sober and observing Men , that many of you make but a self-deceiving Calculation in the account of your Christian duties , and holy performances ; by fancying your selves well secured , and diligently active , in the exercise of Gods Commands ; and in your obedience to him , if you do but rise early enough on Sunday to go to Church in the Morning , and can Dine so temperately as not to sleep at the Sermon in the Afternoon , and do say a kind of sizd Prayer like a short Grace of a few customary words , rising and going to bed all the week after , which perhaps may be said more out of long habit , than true devotion .

How many Ladies are there , and those of a good and sober sort , ( as Women go now adays ) that fancy because they live Chast , read the Bible now and then , and miss going to Church but seldom , who are Charitable to the Poor , Loving to their Neighbours , true to their Friends , good will to all , and in love with none , ( unless may be a little with themselves , ) think they perform all Christian duties perfectly , and therefore deserve all Mens Praises truly ; and indeed they would not think amiss , if they would be but near as just and exact to God in their daily account of their time to him , as they are in creating daily fresh pastimes and pleasures to themselves , and that they would measure out their time , according to Gospel Precepts , instead of imploying it in vain London follies and pastimes , which among the modish Ladies , are partly those :

So many hours for Dressing , so many hours for receiving and returning Visits , so many for the Play , and the Park , so many hours for Dining at this friends house , Supping with that , and playing late at Cards at t'others , or being at a publick Ball or Dancing at anothers , so many hours to sleep a Bed to satisfie Nature , so many more to lie a Bed , to continue their full Face , and good Looks ; besides hours for going to Court , to see new fashions , and ransacking Shops to buy new-fashioned Silks and fineries , besides other times of vain idleness and prodigality of excess and folly ; as such a great part of the Year for a pretended Disease , or rather diversion at the Bath , such a season for an infirmity , or recreation at the Wells of Tunbridge , or Epsom ; to raffle away it may be our time and money , to be profuse , and game at publick Lotteries , or to charm or decoy some rich Heir , or Gallant for next Winters service ; and now Ladies , when all these mis-spent hours are abstracted out of the twenty four , besides other parts of your lives accounted ; I am afraid you will find so great a consumption and ill management of your time , as you do often too sensibly of your Estates and Money , and so miserably condole those lost Minutes which you might have employed to better purposes , in being soberly modest and pious , to have performed the duties of Religion , which is the only true pleasure and pastime of the soul : And tho some of these divertisements I know are not barely in themselves sinful crimes , yet sure they are no better than venial sins , by their totally taking up , and so intirely devouring of young Womens whole time .

1. My first Advice therefore to the vain Ladies , is to alter the mispending of their time as now they do , to employ it as really as they ought to do ; which is in preparing to die well , rather than striving to live high , or look fair , and not to fancy they spend their time well , among such as they but lose it with ; for as Seneca says , They are idle , who might be better employed ; so such Ladies live in some kind ill , that may live in many degrees better .

Therefore as prudent Men manage and regulate their Estates , by dividing it into several proportions ; so much for House keeping , Servants wages , Apparel , private expences , and the like ; and so suiting their Income , to answer their several Charges , according to their ability to perform , as their occasions require ; which necessary Measures , because many of the young Estated Men will not observe , they steer without a Compass , run they know not where , spend they know not what , and live they know not how , extravagantly , without ease or order .

Now Ladies to prevent such an extravagant manner of spending , or rather wasting of your time , I shall advise you in order to the well managing of it , not only to divide it into several hours , for that is already done to your hand , by many good Clocks and Watches ; but you must subdivide the hours of the day , into so many portions set out for devotion , business , and pastime , according to your ability , and conveniency , always giving place to the duties of Religion , the first and principal part in all your designs , and actions ; still beginning the day with Prayer , and praises to your Creator ; who made both it , and you , in order to your worshiping and serving him , and by so dividing the day into so many several parts , and Stages of hourly employments , the changeable variety that 's in them , will afford you variety of pleasure , as well as business , to entertain and direct you , and prevent you Ladies from complaining , as I have heard many of you , O what shall we do to pass away this afternoon , since you will see all the days business and divertisments marked out before you ; and really nothing more distracts and vitiates vain young Womens minds , than emptiness of business and employment , the want of which fills you up with the ill vapours of idleness , that old Mother of wickedness , whereas certain hourly employments , fill and replenish your fancy with such diversity of change , and business , as is able to suppress , and allay , all fumes of vain idle thoughts , from arising in your minds , and save you the expensive trouble , of imitating many of the fine gay modish Ladies , who by chargeable means and studied Arts , purchase ways vainly to pass away their time , which by the course of nature , without their help , and beyond their power , runs away but too fast of it self .

2. My next Advice to the vain Ladies , tho I am sure 't is very good , yet I doubt 't will be little lik'd , and less follow'd ; which is to shun the infectious temptations of a vain London life , which often gets many young Ladies bad Reputations , but seldom good Husbands . London being become the very Center point , and Rendezvous , where all the vices and vanites of the Kingdom meet ; yet these vices and vanities , are among many of the fine Ladies , so richly gilt , finely painted , and splendedly set out , as they are so far from appearing deformed , as they seem beautiful and taking to most , I mean the inconsidering young Men of the Town .

Really the Air of London is so infected with Pride , Vanity , and Idleness , that 't is hard for one of you young Ladies to appear in young Mens Company , but you must have your Ears furr'd with Oaths and Profaneness , or else your person Complemented with vain Romantick Courtship , which is not exactly applied and fitted for any one Woman , but for all handsom Women in general ; like false flattering Looking Glasses , which Complements not only one , but every one that looks on them , not staying for a great beauty , but still flattering the first comer .

But Piety and Vertue is still like a pure wholesom Air , a comfort to all , and an Infection to none , and is so far from dislodging , or overcasting the lightsomness of any lawful pleasures , as it clears and dissipates any dark Clouds of fears that may hang over them ; for 't is most certain , Piety and Beauty , Recreation and Devotion , may live peaceably together , and yield a mutual aid and comfort to one another .

Indeed if you Ladies would but use to mix Piety with your pastimes , you would soon come to make a pastime of Piety ; and then instead of dividing the hours for vain London pleasures , you would make them so many Memorandums of the eflux of time , to put you in mind of the duties of Mortality , and of the hourly advances you make towards it , which requires hourly preparations for it ; for the same hours serve as well to tell you of your approaches to Death , as to divide your pleasures in Life , as the same Figures in your Watch serve to tell the hours of the night , as well as those of the day .

Then Ladies you will find that time laid out in Prayer and Devotion , is not spending , but gaining time ; and if you will but seriously reflect , and heartily practise this great Truth ; you will soon find , that Piety is as to advancing of worldly delights , and pastimes , but as Ballast to a Ship , which does not hinder , but only regulate its motion , not flackning but steddying its Sayling .

A fine Lady whose mind is only fraighted with the Airy Cargo of pride and vanity , can never steer steddy in her heavenly Course ; but is still tossed from one side of folly , to another extremity of vanity , for the want of the true blessed Ballast of godliness , which will Calm and dispossess your mind of all modish vanities , and irregularities , and will allay all kinds of immoderate heats , raised by the Feaverish distempers of Womanish Passions , and will fix your affection on what is immovable , and perpetual , and will soon cause you to abandon the vain empty undurable pastimes of London , for the true endless felicity of Heaven , and this is a Heaven upon Earth , To love God , and keep his Commandments ; for then you will truly love Vertue , and constantly practise Piety , and only delight in the beauty of holiness ; which as it transcends much , so it differs far from , all Earthly love , for that 's seldom or never enjoyed with true quietness , long satisfaction , or just and equal returns ; for the most passionate Love we can fancy , as a Mistris to her Gallant , or a Gallant to his Mistris , is commonly of so fickle , volatile , and inconstant a nature , as if a Woman thinks her Gallant loves any other Woman , she grows Jealous ; and if he fancies his Mistris loves another Man , ( as 't is ten to one she does ) he becomes inrag'd , for as Solomon says , Prov. 6.34 . Jealousie is the rage of a Man , here on Earth tho most are Lovers , yet many are false ones , but in Heaven all are Lovers , and are true ones ; since in your Heavenly Love , your act of loving , is the certain fruition of your Love : a Woman by loving Vertue , it becomes hers , but by loving a Gallant you become his ; for she that is under a Gallants command , cannot truly say she is under her own . In a word , all the Riches and Pleasures imaginable , that you abandon for the love of God , you enjoy them all , in loving God above them all .

And you may be certain Ladies , if you can but thus love God as you ought , you must despise the World as you should , and then you will take more true delight in the title of a good Christian , than you did ever before in the vain praise of a great beauty , and slight this , in comparison of that , for a handsom Woman like the Sun , is to be esteemed more for her Vertue , than Splendor . Beauty is but a fine outside Skin , but true Godliness is all glorious within , and will bestow on you more Celestial beauty in the other World , than all your false Glasses , and Gallants falser Tongues , can flatter you with in this .

3. My next advice to your vain Ladies is , when you are putting on your fine rich Gowns which so many of you adorn your selves with every day , with so great care , high excess , and vast expence , as well of time , as mony , which makes many of you by being so over careful in setting out your body , to be over careless in looking after your Soul , in not allowing it perhaps so much as a clean shift of Repentance once a Sunday , I mean a penitent Sigh or Tear in a Week , to blow off , and wash away your Sins , and Vanities , which your own corrupt Natures , and idle Company breeds in you every day : Therefore when you are putting on your new rich Gowns , if you could but remember at the same time , to Lace about your hearts this Memorandum of the Prophet , That Worms are breeding under your Covering ; doubtless such mortifying reflexions , would humble your pride , and abate your vanity ; and not only hinder you from leading such vain Lives , but wearing such rich Clothes , which though they may exactly suit with the Rules of the Modists ; yet I am sure 't is quite contrary to the Precepts of the Apostle , who orders Women not to adorn themselves with rich , but modest Apparel , as if rich Apparel , was not modest , nor to use painful Dresses , which is an excess of folly of another kind , by squeezing your selves into a fine slender shape , by pinching in , and thereby tormenting of your bodies , by lasing your selves so streight to take Mens sight , as you can hardly take your own breath ; and if this be not great pride , and high folly , I confess I know not what is .

4. My next advise to the vain Ladies , which ( I am sure ) is of great use , and high advantage , in order to their living vertuously , and dying religiously , is this : Not only to shun , but totally to banish that familiar companion of your Sex , Pride ; I shall not strive here to dive far into the depth of this vast Ocean of iniquity ; though all our actions run as naturally to it , as Rivers do to the Sea : Nor do I here pretend to make a subtile penetration , into any hard Conceptions of the sinful nature , and wicked consequences of this common , ( I had almost said Womanish ) Vice of Pride , my design being not to enlarge on it , but only to present you with some plain useful advices , and directions how to destroy , or at least Countermine this raging Sin , which must be done by a common practice of humility ; which if young Women would but consider truly , and follow carefully , it would soon perswade them , to lay aside their Delilah Creature of vanity , and to call in a more vertuous acquaintance of humility , and make her their bosom friend ; for Pride is one of the seven Sins Solomon tells us God abominates , and Scripture assures you , That God still rebuketh the Proud , and ever giveth grace to the humble .

Pride is now turned into a Cancerous humor very apt to grow in all young handsom Womens brests , and in most it swells and rankles , so as to become noysom , not only to humility , and piety , but indeed to very common Society ; and 't is easie to observe , that many handsom Women , whom Nature hath presented with a large proportion of beauty , which of it self had been able to render them agreeable , and taking to all persons ; yet many of them do so fully and overcast the glory of it with Pride , and self conceitedness , as to give it a disagreeable Air , and relish to most of its admirers , by their too apparent proud affected estimation of it . And 't is observable Ladies , that such of you as are always ready to place too high a value on your selves , are still apt to cast too low an esteem on others , and so cause most to undervalue you , for your slighting them . Whereas the vertue of true humility , ascends by the means of descending , as Trees mount and flourish upward , by rooting and growing downward .

Pride is a distemper of the mind , which most young Ladies are naturally inclined to , and easily infected with ; for the least enflaming their beauty by Praises , presently turns to the filthy ulcer of pride , which is of such an extraordinary malignant nature , as low birth , little wit , no beauty , great want , nay very ugliness it self , is not a sufficient Cure and Antidote against it ; Solomon says , Want of Bread will not starve Pride , and I am sure experience reacheth us , that want of beauty , will not starve some Womens proud fancies of being handsom , tho they have not the least feature of it ; so over-apt are young Women to believe themselves so , that if Men will be so great lyars as to tell them they are beautiful , they will be so great Fools as to believe them , and rather credit other Mens words , than their own Eyes ; sure Women so blinded , ought above all things to beg of our blessed Saviour , as the blind Man did in the Gospel , Lord grant me my sight , that they might clearly come to see themselves , and their own folly and ugliness .

Sure 't would be impossible that handsom Women , could so delight in this Devilish sin of Pride , if they would but remember , that humility is as well a certain improvement of beauty , as a constant inhabitant with vertue ; for humility makes a little beauty appear great , but Pride makes a great beauty to appear little ; the first being taking to all , the second odious to every one : The more beauty a pious young Lady has , the less pride she will shew , like a Pyramid , that still lessens as it rises , and as a Philosopher said , He is a brave Man indeed , whose wealth , honour , and power , makes the least part of his greatness ; so that young Lady is a real perfect beauty indeed , that makes the handsomness of her face , the least pride or concern of her mind ; so vast a difference there is between the vertue of the Soul , and the beauty of the Face ; as Seneca well observes , That Vertue is the only Immortal thing that belongs to Mortality , and we may also well observe , that the beauty of the Face is the most fading thing that belongs to frailty . Methinks our proud Ladies ought to remember the humility of David , who though a great King , was yet so humble as to stile himself a Worm and no Man , but most of our celebrated beauties , are so far from the humble thoughts of esteeming themselves Worms and no Women , as they are so highly proud , and ridiculously foolish , that like the Babel projectors , they hope to Toure themselves as high as the Heavens ; for some of them fancy themselves to be Stars of the first Magnitude , a kind of Goddesses raised up to the Skie ; but if you ask me how , I can but tell you , they were only raised there by the lofty Muse of their own vain imagination ; and therefore such proud puft up beauties , are really but like your School-boys Paper-Kytes , which are only mounted into the Skie , by the Wind , and fall to the ground again assoon as it ceases to blow them up .

Really if I durst venture to give my free vote as to my opinion of beauty , I should tell the Ladies that I think 't is a measuring cast , and a disputable Question , which is most unsolid and unlasting , either the matter of this fine composition called beauty , which is in the handsomest Woman but like the fading colour of a Tulip , only pleasant to the Eye ; for a little time , and there 's all ; or the maker of it , which is no other than the various opinion of every gazers inclination , beauty having almost as many Fathers , as there are Men Judges of it .

Surely these vain proud Creatures have read the Story of Theodosius , a Spanish Prince , who was raised to be Emperor for his good Face ; and therefore think they may well hope to be raised not only to an Empire over Men for their great beauty , but that they do well deserve a great transcendency over the ordinary rate of Women-kind , but indeed such high beauties are at very best , but like Meteors , which are exhaled but a little above the Earth , and are yet a great deal below the Heavens .

But suppose I should be so highly Complemental as to allow these great beauties , the full Swing , and extravagant range of their own vain proud and lofty fancies ; that they are as far above the ordinary sort of Women , as the Skie is above the Earth , and that their motions were very generous and sublime , imitating the Sea , which impatient to be confined by the bounds which God has given , is still swelling and striving to mount and raise it self above the surface of the Earth ; yet I would gladly learn , because I can no way fancy how they will pretend to be begot there , except it be by the Man in the Moon ; and indeed that may possibly be some reason , why our great beauties are generally so fickle and inconstant in their Love , as receiving their great mutability from the influence of the Moon , as their immediate Parent .

5. Therefore my next Advice to the vain Ladies , is still to remember that though your beauties may be extraordinary , yet your lives can never be Immortal on Earth ; and that your great beauty , and proud thoughts , must both perish with you ; for it may be truly said of great beauties , what the Psalmist said of great Princes , Though you are stiled Gods , yet you must die like Men ; so though you may be called Goddesses , yet you must die like Women ; and though your beauty could make as great a Conquest of hearts , as ever Alexander did of Kingdoms , who had no more to subdue ; yet as death has certainly put a period , to his success and life ; so he will certainly do the like , to your beauty and days .

For indeed the greatest beauty , is but like the finest Glass , the more clear , the more frail , and easily broken ; for alas , take beauty in its very highest Altitude , and greatest vigour , 't is a fabrick composed , and made up of so many tender pieces of such brittle ware , and delicate Contexture , as the least spot or flaw , in any one part , spoils , or at least blemishes the lustre of the whole ; and as the Poet says , One that is all over Heart , Every place proves a Mortal part .

Now Ladies if you resolve to be all over vertuous , and discreet in Reputation , so as to live Shot-free , from all the wounding Darts of censure , you must arm your selves with a clear and innocent complexion of vertue ; to procure which , you must not only abstain from evil , but the very appearance of it , not only from doing bad Actions , and keeping ill Company , but even the hearing , much less receiving vain praises ; and as you ought to shew a general civility to all , so you ought not to give a particular freedom to any .

In a word , you must manage all your actions with a strict prudence , a perfect modesty , a real humility , a vertuous behaviour , and a constant fear of God in all you say and do , and these will gain you praises , and make you well deserve to be admired ; for Solomon says , Prov. 31.30 . 'T is the Woman that feareth God shall be praised , and by such a blessed and holy kind of life , you will secure your self against all the Censorious talk of envious bablers , against the venom of those lying malicious Tongues , who are not fit to be believed , nor worthy to be feared .

Indeed Ladies , the best way to make your earthly beauty , continue good and lasting , is to be humble in your own thoughts , and not to pride , or value your selves more than you ought ; since 't is so vain , and uncertain in its most lovely colours and complexion ; for this will give Men a just admiration of your prudence and modesty , and preserve the vertue of it Immortal , beyond the duration of this fair and naked substance , which some sudden accident or disease can soon blast and rob of all its blooming and youthful vigour , strip it of all its gay attirement , and you of that vain delight in your own self-admiration ; so then beauty is only less commendable in her , who makes it her only pride and concern to set it off ; and such a Lady , thus trigg'd up , and furnished out , by great art and invention , by glittering apparel and proud ostentation , is but like a fire of Straw , it may blaze much , but it cannot last long , and whilst it lights others , it consumes it self . But a handsom Lady that 's free from affectation and pride , and is blessed with great Piety , and true Humility , is like the Heavenly fire in Moses Bush , which burnt and lighted others , and yet never consum'd it self .

A handsom woman that is very proud , does but enjoy her beauty , as the Miser does his Wealth , who does not so much possess it , as it possesses him ; and therefore your truly pious Ladies , do but use their worldly beauty , as the Apostle says we are to use this World , that is , as if we used it not , by a godly habit of mind , consuming all the usual vanity affected by others in the pious reflection , that there 's no true vertue , or durable satisfaction in it .

We read in Genesis that good old Abraham , made no other use of all his wealth , than to purchase him a Grave ; O why should not all proud Women imitate him , and though they be never so rich in beauty , employ it all in Purchasing a Grave of Humility , to bury the dust of their Pride in ; and by so doing , they will certainly find a Resurrection of true Glory out of it , which will raise to them Garlands of perpetual Praises , of so Heavenly a nature , and vast an extent , as they will as much excel all the false vain glittering splendor of this World , as the noon day brightness , of a Summers Sun , does the small glimmering light of a little Glow-worm , which cannot be seen , but by the help of darkness .

6. I shall next advise the vain Ladies , to resolve to new mould their Lives in this Spiritual frame of Reformation , and to square out all their actions by the Golden Rules of Piety and Vertue . I heard of a Gentleman that being dangerously ill of a Dropsie , went to a famous Physician for his Advice , who bid him abstain from all Drink for a Twelve Month , and it would Cure him : I am confident the like kind of Remedy would cure the fine Ladies , let them but abstain from all vain thoughts on themselves , and not hearken to the vain flatteries , and praises of others but for one Year , and 't will certainly cure them of that Devilish distemper of Pride ; for by one Twelve Months banishing it , and conversing only with vertue and humility , which are inseparable friends , they will certainly make them so religiously prudent , and happily vertuous , as to hate and shun all proud desires , and flatterers Praises , and cause them to love only those that Court them in the holy Language of Truth , to the Love of Godliness ; which is the very best way , they can express their Love to you , or you your Love to your selves ; and truly Ladies I cannot see the least reason , why you should be against this holy change , since it will not be a parting with , nor so much as a Retrenching of your love delights , but rather be a better means , to enlarge and improve them , by placing and fixing your mind , on a much more noble object , and a far finer entertainment , by transplanting your affections , into a far richer soil , from Earth to Heaven ; from the fading vanities of this World , to the never decaying felicities of the next ; and when once a young Ladies Inclinations are firmly rooted in a real desire and hearty endeavour for this blessed Change , she will soon find that her Love will become so piously purified , that instead of her fixing it on mortal Man , she will only dedicate it to the service of the ever living God , whose service is still true happiness , and perfect freedom .

Then such a Lady will be happy above the low Region of all worldly flatterers and the more vain concerns of a fading beauty , she 'll not value the rallying scoffs and contempts of those who deride her humble and strict deportment , now so much out of fashion among the vain Ladies of our times ; for such a reformed Lady , whose mind is truly sanctified , will extract uses of vertue , out of such extravagant Womens vanities , like the Bee , that sucks Hony out of all sorts of venomous Herbs , and like Fire , that turns all things within its compass to its self ; and such a Ladies holy course of Life , will be steady and certain in its progress like the Sun in his daily motion , nothing of Storms or changable weather , can ever hasten , or retard its regular course ; for a Lady that 's in the holy state of true Mortification , her constant Piety will so purifie and draw off her inclinations from all vain pastimes and modish vanities , and from those foul dregs of impurity , that are the usual attendants of a vain idle London Life , that by this Transfiguration of Mind , and pious habit of Life ; her Conversation will be as the Apostle says , fixed up in Heaven , and we all know that the upper Region of the Air it self , will admit of no Storms or Thunder , for they are all formed below it .

And farther that Lady who is so blessed as to have her heart touch'd with this Magnetic vertue of true godliness , her thoughts will be elevated to such a heavenly pitch of spiritual vertue and religion , as she will despise all the young Gallants fine words , deep sighs , and languishing looks , with all their high Praises , and showers of Complements , which will work no more on her sanctified Mind , than showers of Hail on the tops of well covered Houses , which fall off , as soon as it falls on , without ever touching any of the inward part .

And whereas our vain Ladies receive the extravagant encomiums and flatteries , I might have almost said Adorations , of their vain Gallants as the Lawful Issue of their own applauded Merit ; a truly pious Lady , will only hearken to all the Airy Praises young Men ascribe to her beauty , to be but the Bastard brood , of their own abundant sin , and folly , and she will make such pious reflections on such young Mens overmuch praises , grounded on a sense of her own unworthiness of them , as she will not only despise their extravagant speeches , but themselves for speaking of them ; which doubtless cannot but be very acceptable to God the searcher of all hearts , who still giveth grace to the humble .

Therefore Ladies , if you really desire true piety and humility , I must advise you again , and again , never to hearken with delight , or hear with belief , or indeed suffer with patience , but shun with diligence , young Mens airy praises and Complements , nor yet countenance their flatteries ; for multitude of Praises cannot but perplex young Ladies Minds , as many Lights still confound the Sight ; and therefore when you hear young Men give their Tongues such loose liberties , and over large ranges , in magnifying your beauty , remember such high Complemental expressions are to be trusted no more , than the Christian Flag of a Turkish Pyrat , which he only hangs out , that you might esteem him your friend , that thereby he may make you become his Slave .

Therefore Ladies keep still about you this preservative of your vertue , that you look upon on all the vain Gallants , that Court you with high Complements , and great praises , to be but so many Judas's that come to betray you with a kiss , and do not believe their Oaths , either on the account of what they swear , as to your great beauty , or their own true Love ; for really flattery and vain praises , are now grown such common Arts , among fond Lovers , as well as great States-men , and Complemental Courtiers , as we often meet the truth of their meaning , in the contradiction of their words .

7. My last concluding advise to the vain modish Ladies is , when one of you is curiously beholding and admiring your fine Face in your Glass , and find that the great beauty of it , raises proud thoughts in your heart , ( which is almost as common among handsom Ladies , as 't is for them to look in their Glass , which nothing can be more common ) humble your pride with these mortifying reflections , that this very fine Face of yours , that you like so much , love so well , and are so taken with , and fond of , must unavoidably in a little time become loathsom , rottenness , stink , and corruption , turn odious either to be seen or smelt , which is as very certain , as mortality it self ; and death you know is not only sure to meet you , but your are exposed by a thousand accidents to meet it , whilst you are travelling in this Earthly Pilgrimage ; for the spritely gaiety of your blossom youth , can only let you know how long you may possibly live , but can give no advance security how long you certainly will ; therefore young Ladies as well as old Men ought still to march under the safe Conduct of a vertuous Life , and not to trust to the temptation of a long Life , but to rely only on the blessed security of a good one .

I shall conclude this Discourse and Book with the good saying of an excellent religious person , That the vainest beauty on Earth , cannot justly deny this great Truth , that beauty is not absolutely necessary to the good of this Life , but that Piety is essentially necessary both to the good of this Life , and the next too , since one may live well , without beauty , but one can neither live or die well without Piety .

FINIS .