THE FRUITLESS PRECAUTION . The First Novel .

A Gentleman of Granada , whose true name I shall forbear to discover , and on whom I will bestow that of Don Pedro of Casteel , Aragon , and Toledo , or what you please , since that a glorious name in a Romance costs no more than another , ( which is haply the reason that the Spaniards , not content with their own , ever give themselves of the most illustrious , nay hardly sit down with one : ) this Gentleman , I say , ( now Don Pedro ) being arriv'd at the twentieth year of his age , lost both Father and Mother , and by their death came to a very great estare : all which hapning to the same person contributes very much to his miscarriage if he be born a fool ; but , if nature hath been more indulgent to him , puts him int●● capacity of improving himself to some esteem in the world . During the year of his mourning , he very prudently wean'd himself from most part of the divertisements , which persons of his age are ordinarily addicted to , and busied himself in looking into the posture of his estate , and putting his affairs into a good order . He was a very graceful person , of an excellent wit , and behav'd himself , in his youth , with a prudence and conduct such as might have become grey hairs . There was not in Granada any Lady who would not gladly have had him to her husband , nor any Father so prepossess'd with the deserts of his daughter , as not to wish him his Son-in-law . Of the Beauties in Granada , which stood in competition for the Monarchy of hearts , one onely there was able to captivate that of Don Pedro. Her name was Seraphina , beautiful indeed as a Seraphin , young , rich , well descended , and , in a word , though of a fortune somewhat below that of Don Pedro's , yet a person as well accomplish'd to make a wife , as he a husband . He made no question , but that upon the first proposal of marriage made to her Friends , he should obtain their consent to become her Servant : but he chose rather to gain her by his own worth and desert , than their compliance , and resolv'd to court her with all the passion , submissions , and services imaginable , so to make a conquest of her heart , before he became possessor of her person .

His design was noble , and might accordingly have prov'd more successful , if Fortune , who is , many times , maliciously pleas'd to disturb things manag'd with the greatest conduct and circumspection , had not rais'd him a Rival , who was become Master of the place he would have taken , while he was but yet making his first approaches . His name we have here little to do with , he was much about the age of Don Pedro , perhaps as lovely as he , and without doubt much more belov'd .

It was not long ere Don Pedro perceiv'd he had a Competitor , and was not much troubled at it , as having the advantage of him in point of estate . He was at the charge of Musick in the street where his Mistress liv'd ; his Rival had the pleasure of it in her Chamber , and haply receiv'd more than ordinary kindnesses from her , while poor Don Pedro's teeth shatter'd in his head . At last he grew weary of hunting the bats , I mean , of the charge and inconveniences of that kind of Courtship , without making any progress in his business : Yet so as this ill success caus'd not any remission of his Love , but onely made him quit the design he had to be too prodigal of his addresses to his Mistress , before he had obtain'd her of her Friends . He therefore went and demanded her of them , and they very liberally g●ve their consent he should have her , without ever advising with , or communicating the business to , their daughter ; out of an excess of joy , to be intreated , to do what they earnestly desir'd , and indeed durst hardly hope . They soon after acquainted Seraphina with the good fortune that came to court her , and prepar'd her to entertain the addresses of Don Pedro , and ; within a few days , to marry him . The news , which she should have receiv'd with joy , rais'd in her no small disturbance ; insomuch , that , not able to smother the loss she was at , she hardly made a shift to conceal the occasion thereof from them , by persuading them it proceeded from the affliction , it would be to her , to part with those , for whom she had so dutiful an affection . She acted her part so handsomely , that , out of pure tenderness , the old people could not forbear tears , nor commending the good nature of their daughter . She us'd all the intreaties she could to persuade them to put off the marriage for four or five months , representing to them , that the decay of her health was visible in her countenance ; and pressing , that , if ever she married , it might not be till she had recover'd her perfect health , to the end she might be in a better disposition to please her husband , lest he might take any occasion to be dissatisfi'd with her , in the dawning of their marriage , and repent of his choice .

Now whereas it was indeed true , that for some time before she seem'd not to have her health as she was wont , her Friends were well satisfi'd with what she had said to them , and gave an account of it to Don Pedro , who also had nothing to except against it , as conceiving it argu'd the discretion of his Mistress . Nevertheless , they thought it not amiss to put things in order , as to the contract of marriage , and the settlement to be made thereupon .

But though things were brought to this pass , the amoro●s Don Pedro omitted not any of those Expressions of Gallantry and Courtship , expect●d in the carrying on of a Match with consent of all parties . He sent his Mistress many presents , and writ to her every day . She on the other side return'd him such answers as were at least very civil , thouh they betrai'd much less of passion than was visible in his Letters . But she would not by any means be seen in the day time , excusing her self by reason of her indisposition ; nay in the evenings was seldom seen at her window , which rais'd in Don Pedro a great admiration of her reserv'dness . He was better conceited of his own worth than any way to question the success of his applications , or doubt his being deeply in the favour of his Mistress , when he should be better known to her than he was , even though she might have had an aversion for him before she knew him .

His affairs hitherto went on smoothly without any rub ; but , on a suddain , it happen'd that he could not get a sight of his Mistress in four or five days . He was extremely troubled at it , or at le●st pretended it ; he writ verses upon that occasion , or , it may be , hired , or bought some , and caus'd them to be sung under her window : but notwithstanding these great attempts of a most passionate Love● , all he could do was to speak with one of the Chamber-maids , who told him , that his Mistress was much sicker than she had been . His Poetick vein swell'd at this account of h●r , or , if not his , that of his mercenary Poet must breathe and bleed for it : for I could never be truly inform'd whether he himself had any gift in rhiming . Having got what he had , set to some doleful tune , and loaden , besides his offensive and defensive arms , with a Guitarrhe , ( which I am apt to believe was the best the City could afford ) he took his way very boisterously towards his Mistress's , either to move her to compassion , or to set the dogs thereabouts a barking . 'T is not unlikely he should have done one of the two , or both together , and yet it so happen'd he did neither .

Being come within fifty paces short of the blessed mansion of his Divinity , he perceives the door open , and a woman coming out , who seem'd much like his almost-invisible Angel . He could not imagine what should oblige a Woman , all alone , and at such a time of the night , to enter , of set purpose , into a great desolate building , destroy'd not long before by a fire that had happen'd . To find out what the matter should be , he walk'd round about those ruins , into which there were several ways to get in , so , with as much convenience as he could , to get near the person whom he had follow'd in thither . It came into his imagination , that it might be his Mistress who had appointed his Rival a meeting in that strange place , as not daring to be seen at her house , and haply unwilling to have any third person privy to an action , which it concern'd him so much to be kept secret ; and if what he did as yet but onely suspect , should prove tru● , his inviolable resolution was to be the death of his Rival , and to be reveng'd of Seraphina , by loading her with the greatest reproaches he could think on . He thereupon crawl'd along with as little noise as he could , till he came to a place whence he saw her ( for it was she ) sitting upon the ground , bemoaning her self , as a person ready to give up the ghost , or what signifies little less ( to give it you in a word ) in Labour , and with inexpressible pain , upon the delivery of a little creature , in the making whereof she had haply taken a great deal of pleasure . She no sooner saw her self disburthen'd , but deriving strength from her courage , she return'd the same way she came , without taking any further thought , what should become of the Child she had brought into the world .

I leave you to judge what astonishment Don Pedro was in at this strange accident . Now was he satisfi'd what was the true cause of his Mistress's sickness : he was a little frighted at the danger he was likely to have fallen into , and made his acknowledgment to Heaven , that he had escap'd it . And being of a noble and generous disposition , he would not be reveng'd of one that had put such a treacherous trick upon him , to the dishonour of an illustrious Family , nor in his just resentment suffer the innocent little creature to perish , which he saw at his feet expos'd to the mercy of the first dog or swine that had come that way . He took it up in his handkerchief , for want of something else to wrap it in , and , with as much haste as he could , went to a Midwife of his acquaintance , to whose care he recommended the Child he put into her hands , and gave her mony to buy all things necessary for it . The Midwife , well paid , did what might have been expected from her , insomuch that the very next day , the Child was put out to nurse , christned , and ( proving a girl ) named Laura .

In the interim , Don Pedro went to see a certain Kinswoman of his , one in whom he repos'd very much confidence : he told her that he had chang'd the design he had of marrying so young into that of travelling , entreated her to take upon her the management of his estate , and to entertain into her house a little Girl , whom he made her believe was his own , to be very liberal in what concern'd her education , and , for certain reasons , which she should one day know , as soon as she were three years old , to put her into a Nunnery , and above all things to take order that she should have no acquaintance with the things of this world . He gave his kinswoman Letters of Atturney , and what else was necessary for her management of his estate , furnish'd himself with mony and jewels ; got a trusty servant ; and , before he left Granada , writ a Letter to Seraphina . She receiv'd it much about the time that she was acquainting her Friends , that her sickness would not any longer delay her marriage : but Don Pedro's Letter , wherein he discover'd what he knew of her condition , fill'd her with other thoughts . And those were wholly directed towards God , insomuch that , not long after , she went into a Nunnery , never to come out again , it being not in the power of her Friends , with all their entreaties and tears , to divert her from that resolution , which they thought so much the more strange , the more they were to seek what the motives of it should be .

But we will leave them bewailing their daughter , now turn'd Nun : Her , on the other side , bewailing her own miscarriage ; the little Laura g●owing up , and blooming forth ; and overtake Don Pedro upon his way to Sevil , not able to divert his thoughts from running upon the adventure that had happen'd to him , and thereupon entertaining a cruel aversion against marriage , after his having so great a desire to taste of it . All the women he meets he is frightned at , and without any reflection that , as well as men , there are some good , some bad among them , he concludes with himself , that a man must ever be distrustful of them , and much more of those who pretend to wit , than the simple ; being apt enough to embrace their opinion , who hold that a woman knows more than she ought , if she knows any thing beyond what belongs to House-keeping , and the bringing up of her Children .

Embracing these Heresies with some persuasion , he enters Sevil , and went to the house of Don John — ( His name is quite out of my head ) a rich man , and a person of quality , who was not onely his Kinsman , but much his Friend , and so kind as that he would not suffer him to lodge any where else . The pleasantness of Sevil raised in him an inclination to make a longer stay there than he thought to have done : which his Cousin Don John perceiving , and wishing his divertisement yet greater than it was , spent some time in shewing him whatever that place afforded that were any thing rare or considerable .

One day , as they were riding through one of the principal Streets of the City , they saw , in a Coach that went into a great persons house , a young Lady , habited like a Widow ; but so handsome , so attractive , that Don Pedro was surprized at her beauty , and made Don John laugh to hear the exclamations and oaths he made , that he had never seen any thing comparable to her in his Life . This angelical Widow reconciled to his favour all those of the female Sex , whom Seraphina had made abominable in his apprehension . He intreated Don John to ride once more through the same Street , and acknowledg'd to him , that ever so little more sight of her had really wounded him . 'T is more than needed , replied Don John ; for , if I am not much mistaken , you are so far wounded as requires some remedy . Ah , Cousin , says Don Pedro to him , I think I may confidently tell you , that I should esteem my self very happy , might I pass away my days with so excellent a person . Nay , if you take that course , replies Don John , and make such haste as you do , you may soon come to your journeys end , and be master of the happiness you propose to your self . Not but that such an enterprize must needs be difficult , Elvira is a person of quality , and very rich , her beauty is such as you have observed it , her virtue not inferiour , and for the space of two years that she hath been a Widow , the wealthiest fortunes in Andaluzia have not raised in her any motions to change her condition . But a person of your endowments and excellencies may conquer that which others have not been able to stand against . She is a Kinswoman of my Wives , and I sometimes visit her . I shall , if you please , acquaint her with your inclinations , and I am the more apt to hope my negotiation may prove effectual , in regard I have the honour to see her in her Balcony which is over against us , a favour not ordinary from a Lady so reserv'd , since she might as well shut up her own jealousies and her windows together , and so make us be laugh'd at after all our gallantry .

With which words both the Cavaliers made each of them an obeisance to the Spanish Lady , which it cost them no small pains to acquit themselves well of . But particularly Don Pedro did his with such contorsion and violence to his whole body , that a little more he had injur'd his reins . The Lady in the Balcony return'd them one not much to be found fault with , which engag'd Don Pedro and his companion to revy it with two others ; But seeing the Sun from th' Balcony was gone , They thought it full time to depart , One went away well , and as sound as a Bell , But the other was struck to the heart .

Ah! Cousin , says Don Pedro to Don John , what probability is there that a stranger should storm a heart that hath stood out the assaults of all the best and noblest Champions as to quality and desert that Sevil affords ? But , continued he , since the little hope I have of obtaining her favour is enough to occasion my death , it will come but all to one , if I hazard my Life upon her denials and disdains . Let me therefore , dear Cousin , intreat you to speak to her , as soon as possibly you can , and press not to her so much the greatness of my quality or estate , as the violence of my passion .

Don Pedro was so over head and ears in love , that he could not speak of any thing else , in so much , that his Cousin perceiv'd the greatest kindness he could do him , was , to speak with the soonest to Elvira . He did it , and that with good success . The fair Widow entertain'd so kindly the Proposition he made on the behalf of his Friend , that she discover'd rather a satisfaction , than any displeasure thereat . But , in Answer thereto , she told him , that having made a vow she would not hear of any addresses in order to a second Marriage till three years were expired after her former Husband's death , no consideration in the world should prevail with her to break it . She added further , that out of an exact observance of what she had promised the memory of her late Husband , she had till then behaved her self inflexibly towards all those that had made their addresses to her ; and that if Don Pedro had so much command of himself as to continue his devotions to her for the space of one whole year , during which time they might become better acquainted one with another , she would promise never to be any man's Wife but his .

Don John , upon his return , gave Don Pedro an account of his negotiation , and render'd him the most satisfied and most amorous man in the world . The long time he was to expect troubled him not at all , resolving to employ it in all manner of courtships , worthy atchievments , and adventures , befitting a spruce Lover . He bought a Coach and Horses , took a House , and entertain'd Servants , set the Embroiderers and Tailors of Sevil a sewing , and the Musicians a singing . He would have presented Elvira with some things ; but she would by no means permit it . Her Maids were much more easily intreated , and received his Presents as willingly as he bestow'd them . In a short time , Elvira's Servants were more at his devotion than at hers , they causing her to shew her self in the Balcony , though much against her humour , as often as Don Pedro was singing in the Street ; in which employment , as I have been told , he was grown to be a Crafts-master , not making use of his lips and tongue to quaver out the notes as many good Singers do .

Six Moneths were already past since Don Pedro had laid a Siege to the affections of Elvira , yet had not the least private Parley with her ; which added daily more and more to the esteem and devotion he had for her . At last , upon an importunity of Prayers and Presents , one of her Gentlewomen , better stored with confidence than any of the rest , or rather better brib'd , promised to bring him in the night-time to her Lady's Lodgings , and so to dispose of him as that he should see her put off her cloaths before she went to bed , walking in her Smock about the chamber for coolness , and singing and playing upon the Lute , which she did admirably well .

This took Don Pedro so highly , that he gave his Intelligencer much beyond what he had promised her ; so that , night being come , the bold Granadine , according to the Gentlewoman's directions , comes into Elvira's house , slunk into her lodgings , and there , from a little ascent , which was over against her chamber-door , he saw her sitting on a couch , reading in a Prayer-book , how attentively I know not , while her women were undressing her . She had onely a thin loose coat about her , and was upon getting into bed when Don Pedro's Pension-Gentlewoman , desirous to give him cause to be as much satisfied with her as she with him , entreats her Mistress to sing . To her's , her Companions added their intreaties ; yet Elvira put them off a long time , telling them , she was melancholy , nay , assuring them she had some reason to be so : but the Gentlewoman who was so much at the devotion of Don Pedro , having put a Lute into her Mistress's hands , Elvira had the compliance to sing , and did it with so much excellency and delight , that Don Pedro could hardly forbear casting himself at her feet , there to act the part of the ecstatick Lover . She sung not long , but went to bed : her Women withdrew into their chambers , and Don Pedro , who would gladly have gotten into the Street , was at a cruel loss what to do when he found the great Gate fast . There was no other course to be taken , than to expect till it were day . He sate down on the brink of a Well which was at one corner of the Court , in no small disturbance , by reason of the fear he was in of being discovered , and to incur the displeasure of his Mistress , for his presumption .

While he was thus engaged , his thoughts running upon thousands of designs , and those attended by so many fruitless wishes , he perceives a Door opening that belonged to some part of Elvira's Lodgings . He turn'd toward that side on which he heard the noise , and was much at a loss to see coming into the Court the fair Widow whom he thought fast asleep . By the light of a small Wax-candle she had in her hand , he perceiv'd her night-cloaths were very neat about her head ; that she was bare-neck'd , had an excellent Neck-lace of Pearl on , and that upon her Smock , about which was abundance of Lace , she had onely a long rich Mantle . She had in her hand a Silver-plate cover'd with Jelly , Sweet-meats , and Conserves ; and in that strange posture she was so full of charm and attraction , that Don Pedro was once in a mind to satisfie himself with the enjoyment of looking on her , though he should thereby draw on himself all the displeasure , which a presumption so great might justly deserve . But upon better thoughts he hid himself behind the Well , yet so as that he still observ'd his Mistress , flattering himself sometimes with an imagination , that he was the person she sought after . She went on towards the Stable , whither Don Pedro , at a distance , follow'd her , and saw her go into a little Chamber . The first apprehension he had , was , that his Mistress , out of an excess of pious charity , went to visit some servant of the House that was sick , though , without any prejudice to her charitable inclinations , she might have put that employment upon some one of her women . He hid himself behind a horse , which stood not far from the door of the Chamber , and thence observing his dear Widow , he saw her set down , on a little Table , the Candlestick , the Plate , and whatever else she had brought that was burthensome to her Ivory hands ; and perceiv'd , in a bed which took up almost all the Chamber , a Blackamore that was sick , who seem'd to be about thirty years of age , but so deformed , and of so dreadful a look , that he was in a manner frightned at the sight of him . His meagre countenance , and the painful emission of his breath argu'd him very sick and much spent . Don Pedro could not but admire the unparallel'd goodness of the fair Elvira , who took up the Negro's coverlet , and having thrust up his head , sate down by the sick person , and put her hand on his fore-head , all wet , haply with the sweats and pains of approaching death . The Negro beheld , with a gastly look , the charitable Angel that came to comfort him , and who still view'd him with tears in her eyes . Don Pedro knew not what he should think of a charity so transcendent , and having for a while admir'd it , he began to think it excessive : but as yet he had not seen any thing .

At last , the fair Widow breaking forth into discourse , yet weeping as if it had been at the taking of a final farewel , she ask'd the Negro , How he did ▪ My dear Anthony , said she to him with a voice interrupted by sobbs , Art thou then resolv'd to dy , and , with thy own , to be my death too ? Thou speak'st not to me , my dearest ; take heart , my soul , take heart , if thou desirest I should live , and eat a little of this jelly , for my sake . Thou dost not vouchsafe so much as to look on me , cruel man ; not on me , who love thee , who adore thee ; kiss me , my Angel , kiss me , and recover thy health , if thou wouldst not have my company to Death , after I had so much lov'd thee whil'st thou hadst any Life .

To this effect were her expostulations , joyning her angelical face to the diabolical countenance of the Moor , which she bedew'd with her tears . I am apt to imagine that who ever had seen such a Vision , would have taken it for an Angel embracing a Devil . As for our Don Pedro , he began to think his fair Elvira as ugly as her Negro , who at last casting his eyes on his importunate Mistress , whom he had not till then vouchsaf'd a look , and with his scraggy hand removing her face from his own , said to her , with a hollow voice ; What would you have of me , Madam , and why will you not let me die in quiet ? Do you not think it enough that you have reduc'd me to the condition I am in ? or do you expect I should , at the point of death , sacrifice the few minutes I have left , to the satisfaction of your insatiable inclinations ? Take a Husband , Madam , take a Husband , and expect no more from me . I shall not see you any more , nor taste of what you have brought me ; all my business now is onely to die , since I am not good for any thing but the grave .

Having so said , he slunk down into the bed , so suddenly , that the unfortunate Elvira could not get a word from him by way of return , notwithstanding all the kindnesses both of words and gestures she us'd towards him ; whether it were that he was already dead , or obstinately resolv'd , not to speak to a person whom he thought the occasion of his death . Elvira , melted into tears , and in a manner out of her self , to see what a sad condition she left her dear Negro in , and most of all to consider his inhumanity towards her , took up all she had brought with her , and return'd to her chamber , with so much sadness and affliction in her countenance , that it was much to her loss , she had not been seen in that posture by her apostate Lover , Don Pedro.

He in the mean time lay close and undiscover'd , in the most obscure part of the stable , so astonish'd as that he had not been half as much , when he was present at the happy delivery of Seraphina . He saw the counterfeit Matron returning to her chamber , disconsolate as a Widow at the Funeral of a Husband she dearly lov'd ; and , not long after , finding the great gate open , he got into the street , not much sollicitous whether he were seen or not , as not esteeming the reputation of Elvira worthy the least tenderness or respect . Yet even in that did he follow the dictates of his own vertue , so far as that he discover'd not what he had seen even to his Friend . He pass'd by Elvira's door the next day just as the Moor was carried out to his burial . Her Woman told him , that she was sick , and for the space of four or five days that he pass'd to and fro that way , she was not to be seen at her window , so incapable was she of any consolation upon the death of the African . Don Pedro was much desirous to hear from her . One day as he was in discourse with Don John , a slave of Elvira's brought him a Letter from her Mistress . He open'd it with some impatience , and read in it what you are like to do , if you please .

A LETTER .

TWo persons , between whom there is a mutual affection in order to marriage , need no third person to sollicite the business between them . You would have me believe , that you think me not unhandsome , and I cannot but acknowledge I am so far taken with you , as that I am willing to grant you immediately , what I had not promis'd till a year were expir'd . My Person and Estate are at your disposal , when you please to command them ; and I am to desire you to believe , that though I cannot be too circumspect in a business of this nature , yet your merit and my own affection shall be my security , and enable me to overcome what difficulties soever I may meet with therein .

ELVIRA .

Don Pedro read over the Letter twice or thrice , so much ado had he to believe what he read . He consider'd with himself that he had been twice in danger to have been as unfortunately married as any man in Spain , and sent up his hearty thanks to Heaven which had enabled him to escape it , by discovering to him two secrets of so great importance . The resolution of marrying suddenly , which the Negro's death had put Elvira upon , rais'd in Don Pedro a quite contrary , which was , that of getting from her as soon as he could . He therefore told Don John , that it concern'd both his life and honour , that he should be out of Sevil within an hour , and that he would take along with him onely that servant whom he had brought from Granada . He intreated him to sell his Coach and Horses , and with the mony to discharge his Servants ; but above all things he desir'd him not to make any enquiry after the occasion of so sudden a change , and so unexpected a departure , promising to give him an account in writing from the first place he should make any stay at . He writ to Elvira , while some were gone to take up two Mules for him ; he deliver'd his Letter to the slave , and , the Mules being come , took his way towards Madrid , confirm'd , more than ever , in his former opinion , of being distrustful of all women of more than ordinary wit , nay indeed to have a horrour of them . While he is spurring on his Mule , Elvira opens his Letter , and finds in it these words .

A LETTER .

HOw violent soever the affection I had for you might have been , yet have I ever preferr'd the desire of preserving your honour , before the pleasure of enjoying your person . Thence you might have perceiv'd with what discretion all my Courtships and addresses were attended . I am naturally a person of a very nice conscience , and therefore cannot without some remorse answer your proposal of marriage , you being a Widow but since yesterday . You are much more oblig'd to the memory of the poor Negro , who hath lost his life in your service , and can bestow no less than a year in bewailing the miscarriage of a person , whose performances you thought so extraordinary . In the interim , we shall both of us have time to consider what we have to do .

DON PEDRO .

Elvira was almost out of her self at the reading of this Letter ; the affliction she conceiv'd thereat made her more sick , than she had been upon the loss of her Lover of Guinny . But bethinking her self that Don Pedro had left Sevil , and another person , whom she thought furnish'd for her turn , making his addresses to her in order to marriage , she took him at his word , and entertain'd him , to supply the place of the Negro . Not but that there were other Negroes choice enough ; but she had heard say that there were several sorts of Negroes , and that they are not so far Devils as they seem black .

By this time was Don Pedro got to Madrid , where he alighted at an Uncle 's of his , who entertain'd him very kindly . This Uncle was a Gentleman of a very great estate , had onely one son , destin'd in marriage for a Cousin of his , an Heiress , one that being but ten years of age was kept in a Monastery , till such time as she were ripe for the enjoyments of her Cousin . This Cousin's name was Don Rodrigues , a person as lovely as could be look'd on , every way so accomplish'd , that Don Pedro entred into a friendship with him much beyond what a man hath for a kinsman , whom yet he may love very well ; for they are not always of his kindred that a man loves best .

Don Rodrigues had many times his thoughts so taken up with some reflections unknown to any but himself , that he minded not much what he did , or what company he was in , and these fits were often accompani'd with certain agitations and disturbances . Don Pedro , having observ'd it , acquainted him with his adventures , to oblige him , by th●t confidence , to give him an account of his , and , in case there were any thing wherein he might serve him , to assure him of his being much more his Friend than his Kinsman . Whereupon he to●d him how he h●d taken notice of his sadness and disquiet , and intreated him to discover the occasion of it ; or otherwise , that he should think his friendship not answerable to his own .

Don Rodrigues desired nothing so much , hoping to be disburthen'd of his grief , when he had communicated it . He thereupon told Don Pedro , that he was passionately fallen in love with a Gentlewoman at Madrid , design'd in marriage to a Cousin of hers whom she expected from the Indies , and whom she had never seen , much after the same manner as he was made sure to a Cousin of his whom he staid for till she were of age to be married , and whom he had but little acquaintance with .

But not unwilling to make a full discovery of himself ; This conformity of Adventures , said he to Don Pedro , very much heightned the mutual love we had for one another , though it still kept us both within the limits of civility and our duty , when ever our passion would have advis'd us to prefer our satisfaction before the engagements wherein we were involv'd upon the account of our Families . Hitherto had my love had the success I could have wish'd my self , I mean , so as not to obtain the final reward of it , which she put off till after the arrival of her Husband , that is , when the cloak of Marriage might cover all the inconveniences likely to ensue upon an appointment which supposes somewhat more then a private conversation . I shall not tell you any thing of the beauty of Virginia , but onely that it is impossible to say too much of it , and that I could say as much of it as would haply puzzle your faith to believe . I shall forbear , till you have seen her , and her Cousin Violanta , who lives with her , which when you have , it will haply force an acknowledgment from you , that Spain can hardly afford any thing fairer than these two incomparable Cousins , and , when you come to discourse with them , that you never met with any Women more witty .

Ah! that 's it makes me the more to pity you , replies Don Pedro. And why so , says Don Rodrigues ? Because a subtil Woman , replies Don Pedro , will be sure , sooner or later , to put a trick upon you . You know by the Relation I have given you of my adventures , how I had been like to be trapann'd by them ; and I am to assure you that were I but in hopes to find a Woman as simple , as I know there are witty , I would court her in the highest manner imaginable , and prefer her before prudence it self , if she would entertain me to be her Servant . Sure , you do not speak seriously , replies Don Rodrigues ; for I never knew any understanding man , but thought it the most insupportable thing in the world , nay , a certain torment , to be but a quarter of an hour in company with a Woman that 's little better than a natural Fool. 'T were most irrational , that , while our eyes , our hands , in a word , our whole body , finds something of diversion , our souls , our noblest part , should be upon the rack of a tedious conversation , such as must needs be that of persons that have nothing in them . Let 's have no more disputing , says Don Pedro to him , since there is but too much to be said upon this subject ; be it your business to bring me as soon as you can to a sight of this admirable Lady , as also of her Cousin , to the end , if she suit with my humour , I may have something to trifle away the time withal while I stay at Madrid . I believe you will find them much otherwise than you expect , when you do , says Don Rodrigues . And why , I pray , replies Don Pedro. Because , says Don Rodrigues , the person you would see is at the greatest distance with simplicity of any I know . I shall comply with time and circumstances , replies Don Pedro. To be real with you , added Don Rodrigues , I know not well how Madam Virginia will entertain us , it 's above eight days since th●t she hath treated me with all possible rigour and aversion , return'd my Letters without ever opening them , and sent me word she would never see me , because not long since she found me in the Church , speaking to a young Lady , with whom she saw me the same day in a Coach , and upon this occasion it was that you saw me so sad and melancholy . It matters not , says Don Pedro , let 's go and see them however , and take it from me , you will sooner satisfie her by vindicating your self in her presence , than with all the Letters the whole Academy of Eloquence could furnish you with .

Hereupon the two men-Cousins went to see the two women-Cousins ; and the fair Virginia permitted Don Rodrigues to vindicate himself , which he found it no hard matter to do . Don Pedro thought them both handsomer than any he had seen of the sex before , not excepting the imprudent Seraphina , nor the counterfeit Matron Elvira . Violanta , who had dress'd her self that day richer than ordinary , in order to have her Picture drawn , dazzled the eyes of Don Pedro so far , that he immediately broke the resolution he had taken , never to love any Woman unless she were a Fool. For his part , Violanta was no less taken with him , it being his fortune to speak things so obliging upon her Picture , among which some infinitely witty and smart , that they wrought in her an admiration of his excellent parts , and no small satisfaction at the first sallies of his courtships .

But here I cannot avoid making a little digression , though it be onely to tell those who know not so much , that your set-speeches to Gentlewomen , and your serious Students in the Academy of Complements , are a sort of people that would be good at the putting off of whipp'd Cream and Syllibubs , and are charg'd with , nay , convicted of , an aery fl●tuous eloquence by persons of good understanding and judgment . If this word of advertisement be well consider'd by the publick , some would find the conveniences of it equal to those of a good receipt against the Flies in Summer , and ag●inst stinking Breaths all the year long . Don Pedro , who had solemnly sworn never to marry unless he met with a Woman the next degree remov'd from an Ideot , made it appear that the Oaths of Gamesters and Lovers are not obligatory , though the late Casuists had not been so indulgent as to dispense with them . He was so infinitely taken , as with the beauty , so with the wit of Violanta , that despairing to obtain any favour of her but what might be granted without any prejudice to her honour , he was resolv'd to marry her , if she had no aversion for that kind of life . He many times gave her occasion to make some discovery of her thoughts , as to that particular ; but either she understood him not , or at least would not , whether it were that she lov'd her freedom , or could not entertain any thoughts of Marriage .

All went hitherto very prosperously on with these four Lovers ; but misfortune comes ever when 't is least expected . One day it happened , that the two young Gentlemen having tyred their Tailors , Barbers , Millaners , Shoomakers , Sempsters , and all those other Trades which young Gallants put upon the rack when they would dazle their eys whom they pretend to adore , or to say all in a word , made themselves as fine as Castor and Pollux , and not making the least doubt to become Masters of the out-works at least of the places they besieg'd , there comes an unlucky Scrich-owl , I mean an old Servant-maid , to acquaint the two Cousins , that the Indian Spark , Husband to the fair Castilian , was come to Madrid , without so much as sending a Letter before him from Sevil , where the Ship came in ; that the two fair Cousins knew not what he meant by his surprising them in that manner , and intreated the Gallants to have patience till such time as Virginia had made such discovery of the humours of her Indian , as to know how to deal with him , and that they should not onely forbear visiting them , but even appearing before their Windows , till further order .

Thus was all the trimming , scouring and poudring of that day clearly lost , nay , as if upon this account of their Mistresses they had a remorse for their vanity , for two days after , they had no more care of themselves than if they had been irreprievable Malefactors . They understood from common report about the Town , that the Indian ●nd Virginia had been privately married ; that he ●as naturally jealous , a person of experience , as being turn'd of forty years of age , and had taken such order in his house , and was so vigilant over the actions of his Wife , that her Gallants , if she had any , could not hope so much as a sight of her at her Window . The further order they had been promised came not , and they thought long to expect it . They made their appearance in the Street where their Mistresses liv'd , and rode up and down , as they were wont , before their doors , yet could never see , either going in or coming out , any face they knew , or meet with any Boy or Maid they had any acquaintance with . They one day saw the Husband go in accompanied by his Brother , a person handsome enough , and so young that he was then a young Student in the University . All this did but add to their affliction , and heighten the trouble they were in . They went forth betimes in the morning , they came not home till 't were very late , and spent both time and pains to no purpose . At last one Holiday , being upon the Sentry , they saw coming out , at the Break of Day , one of Violenta's Maids to go to Mass . They made her stand at the Church-door , and through the persuasion of a many Presents Don Rodrigues prevailed with her to carry a Letter to her Mistress . The business of it was this .

THE LETTER . Madam ,

I Find a greater unkindness in your oblivion of me , than I feel torment in my own jealousie , since there is no remedy for this latter , now that you are at the disposal of a Husband . However you are not to think your self beyond the reach of my importunities , though you have discharged me your remembrance . I beg of you , as the last favour I am to expect , to let me know whether I have yet any ground to hope , or must resolve not to live any longer ,

Yours , &c. DON RODRIGUES .

They followed the Maid at a distance ; she delivered the Letter as she had promised them , and having made a sign to them to come near the house , she dropped out at the Window the Answer you are like to read .

THE LETTER .

A Jealous man , that hath not been married long , is but little from his Wife , and cannot so soon think himself dispensed from the duty he conceives lies upon him , to express his tenderness over her and observe her actions . There is some talk of taking a journey to Vailladolid , without my company , which if it happen , I shall vindicate my self , satisfie my engagements , and pay my debts .

This Letter , which they both with a certain emulation kiss'd a hundred and a hundred times , reviv'd their decaying hopes , and nourish'd them for some days : but at last , not hearing any thing from their forgetful Mistresses , they renew'd their marches and countermarches before their windows , spent whole nights there ; and could not see any going to and fro , no more than if the house had been haunted and no body liv'd in it .

But one day it happen'd , that , these two despairing Lovers being in the Church , comes in Mistress Bride ; Don Rodrigues went and kneel'd down close by her , as t' were to outface an old Gentleman-Usher that had brought her thither . He in few words made his complaints to her ; she in as few excus'd her self , and at last she told Don Rodrigues , that her husband was not yet gone to Vailladolid , though he talk'd of going every day : that her impatience to have a private meeting with him was no less than his ; and that she knew but one way to satisfie his desires , which absolutely depended on Don Pedro. My husband , said she , is a man , whom , when once fallen asleep , the shooting off of great Guns would hardly awake , and it is four or five days since we spoke one to another , by reason of a little difference that is happened between us , which is not yet ripened to a● overtures of reconciliation . I have been at m● Cousin Violanta to supply my place in the Bed but she is not well , and in regard she and D●● Pedro are the onely persons that are privy t● our Loves , and that I am unwilling there shoul● be any more , though it concern'd my life , w● must make use of him in her stead , and , if he loves you so well as to do it , prevail with him t● go into bed to my husband after he is fallen asleep . There seems at first to be something o● hazard in such an enterprise ; but it being consider'd withall that my husband and I are at ● distance , and that he is not easily awak'd , doub● not but all may prove well enough as I imagine to my self ; and this is the utmost I can do for you .

This happy stratageme of Love , which Do● Rodrigues was so hot to understand , upon the first proposal of it , prov'd a cooler to his desires when he had heard it ; for he was not onely in doubt whether his Cousin would act the dangerous part which was impos'd upon him in that extravagant adventure , but was in suspence , whether he should so much as propose it to him . His Mistress continu'd firm to her resolution , and , as she parted with her dissatisfy'd Gallant , assur'd him , that if the proposition she made to him were not well entertain'd and put in execution , as she had directed , there were never any thing to be hoped from her , nay she gave him leave to forget her , though a time had been she would sooner have sign'd the sentence of her own death .

The time and place broke off the discourse between Don Rodrigues and his Lady ; she return'd home , he to his Camrade , who could not get a word from him , so much was he troubled that he must either make a request to him which he thought so unreasonable , or live without a happiness which is ever much more valued before the enjoyment than afterwards . At last , being gotten together into a private Chamber , Don Rodrigues having done himself all possible violence , made the extravagant proposition to Don Pedro , allaying it what he could with those circumstances which might render it the more entertainable . Don Pedro could not at first imagine but all was in jest , but his Cousin on the contrary protesting he spoke seriously , so far as to confirm it with such Oaths as convinc'd him he was in earnest , he would needs make some sport at it , telling him , he was very much oblig'd to his Mistress , for providing him an entertainment with so sweet a Gentlewoman , and that no doubt it was an expression of Violanta's gratitude towards him , who being not , by reason of her indisposition , in a capacity to requite the services he had done her , and thinking her engagement a burthen , turn'd him over for the payment of it to her Cousin's husband , with whom he must expect a very pleasant night's lodging .

Thus did he endeavour to divert both his Friend and himselfe with witty descants on so odde an adventure , but Don Rodrigues was in such a distraction of thought as that he minded them but little , and was so cast down , that his Cousin could no less than pitty him , and was somewhat in fear how dangerous the consequences of his despair might be . Don Pedro was a person naturally daring enough , one that had run through many adventures , and durst undertake any thing thoug● never so extravagant ; he had also a great love for Don Rodrigues , so that , all put together , he was content to supply the place of the fair Virginia , thoug● with the hazard of what mischief he might receive from an exasperated and jealous husband . Being therefore fixt in his resolution , he embrac'd his Cousin , and rais'd him to Life again by telling him what hazard he would run , to procure him the enjoyment of his Mistress . You shall not be , said he to him , so extreamly oblig'd to me as you imagine for what I shall do for you , I find my self inclin'd to undertake it as an action of honour , wherein I pretend to as much reputation as if I had behav'd my self ever so gallantly at the storming of some strong place .

Things thus concluded , word was sent to Virginia , that her proposition was accepted ; she appointed the time that very night ; the two Cousins came according to appointment , were conducted into the house with as little noise as might be ; and Don Pedro was forc'd , in the presence of the fair Lady , to put off his cloaths , as being desirous her orders should be observ'd with the greatest exactness . Don Pedro being thus stript to his linnen , she brought him , as softly as if his way had been pav'd with eggs , and with the greatest caution imaginable , to the dangerous bed-side , and , having drawn the curtains , and turn'd down the cloaths as easily as might be , held the daring Don Pedro by the arms , while he gingerly laid himself down in the bed , who haply now began to repent him of his confidence , and no doubt contented himself with such a part of the bed as that he came not near the middle .

Having thus dispos'd of him , she went her ways , lock'd the chamber door without ever minding the noise she made in doing it , which Don Pedro was troubled most of all at . Her business now was to get to Don Rodrigues , whom I am apt to believe she paid , like a gallant good natur'd woman , what ever she was in his debt , at least as much as he would take of it .

Don Pedro in the mean time was in a condition much different from that of his Cousin's , who no doubt was over head and ears in the embraces of a fair Lady that was a bed with him , while this over-charitable Kinsman lay in fear of nothing so much as of those of a sordid man , who , to his great misfortune , was a very troublesome bed-fellow . Then did he begin to reflect , but too late , on his foolish presumption , that being what he should have done before he engag'd himself in such a design ; he blam'd himself , call'd himself fool , and acknowledg'd that the injury he did a husband was one of those that are unpardonable , if he himself were to pass his sentence upon it .

But it was not long ere these sad reflections were interrupted , and his just fears heightned by his Bed-fellow's turning to him , and casting his burdensome arm about his neck , as if he would have embrac'd his wife . Don Pedro somewhat frighten'd at those unwelcome caresses , the more haply because accompani'd with certain words imperfectly uttered , made a shift to disburthen himself of the arm which he thought more weighty than a far heavier burthen , and slipp'd his neck from under it , taking great care not to do him any hurt ; and having so done , he got to the bed-side , with his body so far over , that he had much ado to keep in the bed , wishing his life fairly at an end , and blaming onely himself for running so great a hazard to comply with the passion of two indiscreet Lovers . He had hardly time to breathe , and recover his spirits ever so little , ere the unquiet Bed-fellow thrust in his legs between his ; which last action , added to the foregoing persecutions , made him look pale as death it self . At last , whil'st one came still nearer , and the other remov'd , day comes on , very expectedly to Don Pedro , who was not able to stand out any longer against his Adversary , who had thrust him as far as he could go .

He got out of bed as gently as he could , and went to open the door , which he found very carefully double lock'd , a misfortune as indigestible as any of the precedent . As he was trying , to little purpose , to thrust back the lock , it flew open of a sudden , and the door had almost taken him over the face . Virginia comes into the room as it were in much haste , and ask'd him loud enough , Whither he made such haste ? Don Pedro entreating her with a low voice to speak more gently , ask'd her whether she were mad to hazard in that manner the waking of her husband , and desir'd her she would let him out . How ! go out ? replies the Lady with a loud voice . No , I would have my husband see what bed-fellow he hath had to night , that he may see the fruits of his own jealousie , and what I am able to do .

Having so said , bold as a Lioness she took Don Pedro by the arm ; then , in such disturbance as that he had not the strength to get from her , open'd the shutters of the windows , without letting go her prize , and dragging him to the bed-side , drew the curtains , saying aloud , See , Mr. Jealous-brains , whom you have had to your bed-fellow ! Don Pedro was not so scared , but that he had the confidence to look into that dreadful bed , where , instead of the imagin'd Satyre , he found his amiable Violanta , who had lain with him , and not Virginia's husband , who was gone into the Country eight days before . The two fair Cousins jeer'd him most unmercifully , never had a witty man such a task to vindicate himself , or betrai'd a greater confusion . Violanta , who was extremely a lover of mirth , and spoke things handsomly and ingeniously , made her Cousin almost burst with laughing when she related what frights she had put Don Pedro to , whenever , pretending to be between sleeping and waking , she got any t●ing near him .

This baiting put Don Pedro , who was still in his shirt , almost out of countenance ; so that it was a long time ere he could recover himself out of the confusion he was in . At last Virginia took pity of him , and left him and her Cousin to themselves , to make up the accounts that were between them , which were of some consequence , for it took up their time from morning till it was noon . From that time , while the Husband was in the Country , the two he-Cousins and the two she-Cousins had frequent meetings , and made their advantages of the opportunity . The Indian being return'd , onely Don Rodrigues far'd the worse for it ; for Don Pedro , by the assistance of the Servants whom his Presents had brought to his Lure , made a shift , for two or three months , to spend most flights with Violanta , who was at her own disposal , and , since her Cousin's marriage , lodg'd in a part of the house whereof she had the command , and which had a back-door that opened into another street . He was so deeply in love with her , that he earnestly wish'd himself married to her , but when he made any Proposal of that nature to her , she so handsomely put off the discourse , that he knew not whether it were out of design , or that she minded not much what he said to her . At last , to confirm the general opinion , that this world is a Stage of perpetual changes , Violanta began to remit much of her passion , and by little and little grew to that coldness towards Don Pedro , that he could not forbear complaining of it , and , not knowing what to quarrel at , charg'd her with infidelity , reproaching her , that she had entertain'd some other Gallant into her favour .

But instead of recovering himself by this means into that place in her affections which he had formerly possessed , it made him so insupportable to Violanta , that she did not onely forbear the kindnesses she did him in the night , but could not endure his company in the day time . Yet was he not a jot cast down at it . He , by the charms of a many Presents , prevail'd so far with one of the Gentlewomen , treacherous enough of her own inclination , as that she discover'd to him , that her Mistress was extremely taken with her Cousin's Brother-in-law , who was then just come from the University ; that he was a very handsome young man , and no less in love with Violanta , than Violanta was with him . To act something notorious for the perfidiousness of it , this wicked Wench advised him to pretend himself sick , to send his Mistress notice of it , complaining as if she were the cause of his indisposition , which , by reason of the likelihood of it , might be credited ; and , in a word , to pretend it so seriously , that her Mistress might not be so vigilant , nor stand so much upon her guard , as she had ever done , since she broke off her correspondence with him . Don Pedro plaid his part as well as if he had been an old Actor at it . Violanta perceiv'd not the Mist that was cast before her eyes , and the perfidious Author of the Plot , had no sooner brought her Mistress's new Adonis into that chamber , but she went to open the gate to the jealous Don Pedro.

He comes all fury into Violanta's chamber , and surprises her already in bed , and her young Exerciser putting off his cloaths to lay himself by her . He went with his sword drawn streight to his Rival , haply to frighten him a little . The young man had his wits about him , so that taking up one of his shoes , and holding it out as one would do a pocket-pistol , aim'd at Don Pedro's face , so confidently , that Don Pedro , who mistrusted no such thing , and doubted not but that he would have shot at him , slunk down and turn'd of one side , in which interval the young man got out at the door . Violanta , who was resolv'd to make an absolute rupture with Don Pedro , broke out into a laughter , and jear'd at his fear of being pistoll'd with a shoe . He took her abuses so heinously , that he fell a boxing of her ; she had him by the hair ; it came to a bloudy scuffle , insomuch , that at last , the hard-hearted Granadin , having used her so unmercifully , that she was forced to cry out Murder , made his escape into the street , just as Virginia , her husband , and all the servants , arm'd , as it were to engage an enemy , that had beat up their quarters , came into Violanta's chamber .

In the mean time Don Pedro gave Don Rodrigues an account of what had passed , and , not losing any time , went and proffer'd his service to the Duke of Ossonne , who was to depart the next day to be Vice-Roy of Naples . Don Pedro expected him at the Port , where they were to embark , leaving his dear Cousin extremely troubled both at his departure and the occasion of it . He continued six or seven years at Naples , much respected by the Vice-Roy , who allow'd him very considerable pensions . He receiv'd also no small summs out of Spain , so that there was not any person in Naples liv'd at ● higher rate than he did , which made him more considerable in Italy than most of your Spaniards , who go thither as much out of a design to grow rich , as the French do to spend their mony . He travell'd to Sicily , made some stay in the more eminent Cities , and , being return'd into Italy , spent two or three years at Rome , as many at Venice , visited all the places he thought worth it ; and , at last , having been fourteen or fifteen years out of Spain , ever in love , or , if you will , ever making it his main business to satisfie his lust , still engag'd in some adventure or other , and more and more confirm'd in his opinion , that a man could not be safely married to a witty woman , an humour took him to put a period to all his extravagant courses , and to return to GRANADA , to see all the friends he had left there .

But the greatest motive of his departure out of Italy , was , that his returns of mony fail'd him , through the disappointment of his correspondents ; or , at least , his Exchequer was grown so low , that he had hardly so much as carri'd him to Barcelona . There he sold what cloaths he could spare , to buy him a Mule , and keeping onely the best he had for his journey , he took his way towards his dear Country , without any retinue at all , the servant whom he had brought with him out of Spain being , in all probability , dead of the Neapolitan disease , and his stock so small , as would not haply defray the charges of another .

He left Barcelona at the break of day , to avoid the heat , and the importunity of the flies , which in August are very troublesome , so that by nine of the clock he was gotten four or five leagues in his way . He rode through the middle of a pretty large country village , where a certain Duke of Cataloniae pass'd away part of the Summer , as having in that place a fair Castle that stood upon the road . The Duke was an antient man , and had to his Lady a woman of an excellent humour , a great both lover and maker of sport , and about twenty years of age . He was that day gone abroad upon some hunting-meeting , and was not to return till the next . The young Dutchess standing in a Balcony of the Castle cast her eye on our Adventurer of Granada . His goodly presence and the state of his riding rais'd in her a desire to have a sight of him nearer hand ; besides , that she was of an inquisitive nature , and suffer'd few strangers to pass through the Town without sending for them . Though he had resolv'd to bait some leagues off the place where he then was , yet could he not civilly answer a request made to him from the Dutchess with a denial , amounting to no more than his waiting on her onely as long as the urgency of his occasions would permit . She was beautiful as an Angel , and the Granadin was one that felt a certain warmth diffuse it self through his whole body , at the sight of such beauties , though they were not Dutchesses . He , on the other side , was a person every way graceful , and the Dutchess took much pleasure to see men of his making ; to redeem , in some measure , the time she mis-spent with her husband , who , to her great misfortune , thought her so handsome , and was so infinitely taken with the pleasantness of her behaviour , that he imagin'd he never saw her enough , though she were seldome out of his sight .

Don Pedro , being a person of excellent parts and good judgment , found the Dutchess much diversion by giving her a relation of his Travels , and soon observ'd her to be of a nature much inclin'd to mirth and a pleasant passing away of the time . She inquir'd particularly concerning the Gallantry at Naples , would needs know whether the Women there have much freedom , and whether the Gallants of Italy were comparable to those of Spain . In fine , Don Pedro was confirm'd by the questions she put to him , that if she were not very well read in the business of Courtship and Gallantry , it was not for want of good-will . She would needs entertain him at dinner to both their mutual satisfaction : soon after dinner he would have taken his leave of her , but she would not by any means permit it telling him her Lord would not return that day , that he must needs be her guest , and very obligingly adoing , that persons of his worth being very rare in Catalonia , they were not to be parted with till some extraordinary necessity forc'd them away , and consequently the happiness of their company was to be improv'd to the utmost .

She thereupon led him into a Closet , which by reason of its spaciousness was very cool , adorn'd with Pictures , Porcelane , and other Rarities , and furnish'd , besides all things suitable to the greatness of the person , with a sumptuous Couch , cover'd with a Satin quilt . Having seated him on it , he related to her his adventures at Granada , Sevil , and Madrid , as also those he had met with in Italy , which are not come to my knowledge . The Dutchess heard him with much attention , and he told her at last , that he was resolv'd to marry , if he could but meet with a woman simple enough to secure him , as to those inconveniences which witty women run their husbands into . An Estate I have , continu'd he , plentiful enough , and though she I shall marry have no fortune at all , so she be well brought up , and not over-deformed , I shall not scruple to marry her ; though , to be sincere with you , I should rather make choice of one that were unhandsome , so she were simple , than a handsome one that were not . Ah how strangely do you misapprehend things in my judgement , says the Dutchess to him , or , what do you mean , when you say , well brought up ? I mean a virtuous woman and of good reputation , replies he . And how is it possible a woman that 's little better than a natural fool can be virtuous , says the fair Lady , since she knows not what Virtue is , nay is not in a capacity to learn ? How do you imagine a fool can have any affection for you , having not the apprehension to know you ? She will be wanting to her duty , yet not be sensible of it ; whereas a woman of understanding , in case she should be distrustful of her own virtue , will make a shift to avoid the occasions which may endanger the loss of it .

Their contestation took up much longer time , th● Granadine maintaining , that a woman should aspire to no greater knowledg than that of loving her husband , being faithful to him , and careful of the government of her house and children ; and the Dutchess on the other side desirous to convince him , that a simple woman was not able to do any thing of all this ; nay that , though she were handsome , it would not be long e'r she would be thought troublesome ▪ They were both satisfi'd of one another's wit and judgment , and the mutual good opinion they had conceiv'd one of another was soon heightned into an affection , nay , I may say , something yet greater . There was not onely a difference between the Granadine and the Duke , as to age , understanding , and person , but the former was of such an exact composure as the world haply afforded but few like him ; and if he was thought such by his Dutchess , he in requital thought her the handsomest woman he had ever seen . He was bold as a Lyon , and never had the opportunity to be alone with a woman , but he made proffer of his service to her . If it were accepted , he did the best he could ; if offence were taken , he cast himself on his knees , and calling himself first the presumptuous Ixion , he crav'd pardon so ingenuously and with such exquisite hypocrisie , that either his offence was pardon'd , or haply it would not have been taken amiss if he offended again . I never thought , said he to the Magnetick Dutchess , to have met with a person able to force me out of an opinion wherein so many experiences had confirm'd me : but I must withall confess , I never was before oppos'd in it by a person extraordinary as you are , whose soul alone , without making any advantage of your beauty ( which yet defies the world to parallel it ) may exercise what jurisdiction it pleases over all those who have apprehension enough to acknowledge , that your excellencies are greater than those of all other women put together . You have cur'd me of one error , but suffer me to groan under something else which is so much the more dangerous , and hard to be cur'd , by how much I take greater pleasure in my sickness , and satisfie , by enduring it , the noblest ambition man can be capable of .

I have now forgot what other hyperboles he drew up together , to engage the Dutchess's virtuous inclinations ; as also what reserves of pathetical impertinences he was forc'd to make use of ; for , he was upon a very hot and dangerous service of Courtship . Nor could I ever learn with what countenance the Dutchess entertain'd a Forlorn of Love and Gallantry so confidently brought up ; whether she receiv'd the amorous charge suitably to the fierceness of it ; or made the weaker resistance out of hope of better quarter . These particulars , though much desirous of it , I could never have any account of , and onely have it from one of the Dutchess's Gentlewomen , since dead in France of the King 's Evil , that the Closet-door was lock'd upon them at two of the Clock , and that they were there together till Supper-time ; and besides what the Gentlewoman said , I know my self by experience , that Opportunity makes the Thief . Night came on , the indulgent Deity of stollen Loves ▪ but Don Pedro and the Dutchess were prejudic'd rather than oblig'd by it , for out of a regard to Civility , and to keep the Servants from talking , ( whose jealousies ever magnifie things to the great prejudice of Truth , a Virtue they are profess'd enemies to ) they call'd for lights , which , being brought , were darkned by the two bright eyes Heaven had bestow'd on the Dutchess , and which then out-vy'd the Stars with their lively sparkling . Her complexion , which now had doubled the hue of its native carnation , appear'd brighter to Don Pedro than the Sun in a Summers day , and his face too had a little touch of the violent inclining to red .

But as they were beholding one another with much confidence and satisfaction , an alarm came to the Dutchess , that the Duke her husband was come into the Court. All she could do upon so sudden notice , was , to dispose her much astonish'd Gallant into a Closet where she kept her perfum'd waters , and , having lock'd him in , to cast her self on a Bed . The Duke , who was a man of threescore years of age at least , comes into his Lady's Closet , and finds her fresh as a rose upon the bush . He told her , that a Letter he had receiv'd from the Vice-roy had occasion'd his return sooner than he expected . He was grown very hungry , ordered to be brought him into the Closet what there was ready , and the Dutchess , though she had no great stomach to eat any thing with him , while her Gallant shook , or haply did something else , for fear , yet took a Chair and sat near the Table . She was of a disposition extreamly inclin'd to make sport , and so divertive , as that it , in a manner , retriv'd her old husband into youth again , so much was he pleas'd at every thing she did . It was an ordinary thing between them to lay extravagant wagers , and that most commonly when she had some occasion or humour to get money out of him , which the simple man took great delight to loose , as one that inexpressibly doted on so excellent a woman .

He never admir'd her so much as at this time ; She , to heighten his admiration , told him a hundred pleasant stories ; at which the good Duke was ready to burst with Laughing ; for eating with a good stomack , and at the same time laughing very heartily , he was two or three times so near choaking , that they were forc'd to give him such thumps in the back , as he would have taken very unkindly at another time : but through God's mercy , he got no hurt , onely a crum or two miss'd their way down his throat . At last , the Dutchess , who had a malicious humour to make sport at any thing , would needs divert her self at the cost of her imprison'd Gallant . She told the Duke , that it seem'd a long time to her since they had laid any wager ; and that she would gladly lay a hundred Pistols with him , upon such a match and tearms as they should agree upon . The Duke told her he was at her service , and expected what she would propose . The Dutchess made many proposals to him , which she was confident he would not accept ; and at last she ask'd him , whether he would lay any wager , that he nam'd all those things , requisite about a house , that were made of iron . The Duke took her up , though he thought the wager very extravagant , and having call'd for pen , ink , and paper , as soon as they had taken away , and his Almoner said Grace ( for the Duke was a man of good example ) he writ down the names of all the Iron things he could think on ; But such was the Dutchess's good fortune , as that he forgot to set down Keys . She caus'd him divers times to read over what he had writ , and having ask'd him whether he had any thing to add , she folded up the paper , and told him she would take time to examine it , and in the interim acquaint him with an adventure had happened to her , one of the most pleasant he had ever heard of .

I was gotten , continued she , presently after your departure , to one of the Balconies of the Castle which look towards the Road , where I had not been long , ere I spy'd passing by , mounted on a Mule , a man of a goodly and graceful presence , who , by the rate of his riding , seem'd to be employ'd upon some business that requir'd more than ordinary expedition . I was very desirous to know what might be the occasion of his haste , and thereupon sent a Page after him to bring him to me . I must needs acknowledge , I never saw a handsomer Man , nor one more likely to make the gravest Matron , or strictest Nun , break their vows of chastity . I ask'd him , Whence he travell'd and What he was ? He gave me an account of himself with so much gallantry and ingenuity , that he enflam'd me with a desire of more of his conversation . I prevail'd with him so far as that he was willing to stay the remainder of the day in the Castle , and give me a relation of his Adventures , which must needs have been very remarkable , and consequently very pleasant in the relation . He acquitted himself answerably to my expectation , and I must confess , I was never better pleas'd with any story in my life ; and I shall not think it much to let you participate of the pleasantness of it .

She thereupon acquainted the Duke what had happen'd to Don Pedro at Granada , Sevil , and Madrid , whereat the good man , who made as much sport at a foolish story as any Duke within a hundred miles of him , spent his spleen in such violent and immoderate Laughters , as occasion'd those as well of the Dutchess , as the chiefest of the Duke 's Menial Servants , with whom he innocently liv'd in great intimacy and familiarity . She afterwards acquainted him what had happen'd to her Gallant in Italy , which was also very pleasant , as I have been told , but the particulars I could never learn . Onely this I know , that the Duke laughed so heartily thereat , that Don Pedro himself , lock'd up as he was , could hardly forbear . She told him what an ill opinion he had of all women that pretended to any thing of wit , the reasons which he alledg'd to maintain it , and those which she had urg'd in opposition thereto .

At last , having found her husband , and all that were present , nay Don Pedro himself so much sport that they were weary of it , she told the Duke , that the Gallant of Granada , after the relation of his adventures , grew so presumptuous as to make his applications to her , and had done it with so much address , that , not knowing how to take it am● from a stranger , that he was so confident in ● Courtship , as to aim at her enjoyments , she ● so taken with him that it was no hard matter w●● him to perceive it . To be short , to what e●● should I detain you longer , continu'd the Dutchess , such a person may attempt any thing , an● not be thought too confident . We spent mo●● part of the day together , to our mutual satisfaction , and would have been together still , had you not come upon us when I least expected you ▪ I shall not dissemble with you , I was both troubled and surpriz'd at your return . My lovely stranger seem'd to be more astonish'd than I was ; I with much precipitation got him into my Closet of perfum'd waters , whence he hea●s me if he be not dead out of fear : but confiden● in the influence I have over you , and being of my own nature , unwilling to dissemble , even in those things wherein the freedome of my humour might prove prejudicial to me , I would needs find you matter of d●●ersion at the cost of that poor Gentleman , whom I will set at liberty as soon as you are departed to your Chamber , and dismiss him that he may return to Granada , where , he says , he goes to find out a woman simple enough to be his wife .

The Dutchess accompany'd her relation with so much ingenuity , freedome , and likelihood , that the Duke began to quit his mirth and to take things in good earnest . He grew pale ; was afraid his Lady had said no more than what was true ; nay , could not forbear asking her for the Key of the Closet , where she said the Granadine was lock'd up . She fell to some other discourse , and thereby heightned both his jealousies and his fear ; he ask'd her a second time for the key of the closet ; she deni'd to give it him . He would needs have it , and started out of his chair in a great fury . Not so fast , my Lord , not so fast , says the Dutchess to him ; before you ask for keys so hastily , pray have the patience , leisurely to read the Inventory you have given me ; you have forgotten to set down , keys , you cannot deny they are usually made of iron , and that you have lost your hundred Pistols , which I accordingly expect to be immediately paid me ; and know withal , that it was onely to convince you that you had lost , as also to put you into so good an humour as that you might part the more freely with your money , that I have entertain'd you with so pleasant a story . Take heed another time you be not so easie of belief , as to receive for true what is pure fiction and Romance . There 's no probability , that so many extraordinary adventures should happen to the same man , and much less , that I should have related such a story , if it were true .

The Dutchess spoke this with such a confident indifference , that the Duke was more easily induc'd to believe all she had said was fabulous , than he had been to think it true . He laugh'd at all , as if he had been little better than out of his wits ; he admir'd the miraculous ingenuity of his wife , and oblig'd all his domesticks that were present to a like admiration , who were haply as credulous fools as their Master . Do but see , for God's sake , said he , breaking forth into loud exclamations and laughter , do but see , with what artifices she hath satisfi'd me that I had lost my wager . The Dutchess was ready to burst with laughing , her Gentlewomen were not much behind . Don Pedro in the closet was forc'd to adde to the Dutchess's perfum'd waters , the better to smother his joy . At last having given his Steward order to deliver his Lady the hundred Pistols , he took his leave of her and went to his own lodgings , often telling her , one while , that she was a female Devil , another , that she had a wit and invention beyond the Devil . The servants repeated the same thing after their Master , so that till he was abed and asleep , nothing was talk'd of about the house , but the damnable wit of the Dutchess .

In the mean time , the Dutchess being paid the hundred Pistols by the Steward , caus'd the chamber-door to be lock'd ; and having brought Don Pedro out of his imprisonment , not fully recover'd of the fear she had put him into , she press'd him to acknowledge , that a witty and discreet woman may , without prejudice to her honour , salve a misfortune , whereof the very thought would make a simple one die for fear . She would needs have him eat of what her Women had brought up for her self . He intreated her to excuse him , and to dismiss him as soon as might be . She gave him the hundred Pistols she had got of her Husband , with a Gold-chain , and her own Picture , which amounted to as much , and desir'd him to remember her , and to give her an account of his further Adventures .

Having thereupon embrac'd him with much affection , she recommended him to the conduct of her Women , who put him and his Mule secretly out at a back-door . He thought it no prudence to lodge in that place , but to ride forward two Leagues , to the Town where he thought to have din'd the day before , when the Dutchess retain'd him .

As he rid along , what had hapned to him with the amorous Dutchess was perpetually present to his thoughts . He could not sufficiently admire , at least as he then thought , the readiness wherewith at first sight she entertain'd his affection , even before she knew him ; her confidence to make so strange and pleasant a story to the Duke , which yet was but too true ; and lastly , her subtilty in salving all by applying it to the Wager . He could not also but admire the easie nature and simplicity of the Duke ; he pitied him , and , after all accidents and circumstances weigh'd , was confirm'd more than ever in the opinion , that a witty Woman was of a difficult keeping ; and thence inferr'd , that , if the Dutchess had not been over-confident of her own wit , she would not so easily have executed what she had been so desirous to do , nor have been guilty of a presumption so incredible as to declare it to her Husband .

In fine , from all the Adventures he had run through , and all the experiences he had of mankind , he deriv'd a certain confidence , that he should never run the hazard of being unfortunately married , either by not taking any Wife at all , or marrying one so simple , as knew no difference between love and aversion .

Amidst these reflections he arriv'd at Madrid , where he found his Cousin Don Rodrigues possess'd of his Father's estate , and married to his Cousin . He understood from him , that Violanta was married ; and that the fair Virginia was gone to the Indies with her Husband . From Madrid he took his journey for Granada . He alighted at his Aunt 's , who entertain'd him with inexpressible kindness , and acquainted him that Seraphina led a Saint's life in the Nunnery , and that her beloved Servant was dead , out of pure grief and indignation that he had not prevail'd with her , to quit the holy life she had oblig'd her self to , and marry him .

The next day he went along with his Aunt to see young Laura , Seraphina's daughter , she had been put into a Convent at four years of age , and might then be about sixteen or seventeen . He thought her beautiful as all the Angels together , and withal simple beyond all the Nuns that came into the wo●ld without wit , and were taken out of it ere they got any . He view'd her very seriously , and w●s extremely taken with her beauty . He oblig'd her to speak , and could not but admire her simplicity and her innocence . He doubted not but that he had found out what he sought ; and what made him have a greater inclination for Laura , was , that he had had a great love for Seraphina , and perceiv'd her daughter to be much like her , though incomparably more handsome . He acquainted his Aunt that she was not his daughter , and how that he had some intentions to marry her : His Aunt encourag'd him in his design , and acquainted Laura therewith , who expressed not any either satisfaction or dissatisfaction thereat . Don Pedro took order for the furnishing of his house , hearkned out for such Men-servants as were in some measure remarkable for their sottishness , laid out for Maids as simple as the Mistress that was to govern them , and had much ado to find any . He made her cloaths as rich and sumptuous as any could be had in Granada . All the persons of quality about the City were at the Wedding , and were no less satisfi'd with Laura's beauty , than dissatisfi'd with her want of understanding . The ceremonies of the wedding were over in very good time , so that the new married couple were left alone . Don Pedro order'd his Servants to go to their beds , and having sent away his wife's maids , after they had undress'd her , lock'd the chamber door .

Having thus order'd things , Don Pedro , out of a transcendency of prudence , which was the greatest madness in the world , put in execution the most fantastick design that could fall into the imagination of a man , who had all his life been accounted a person of understanding . Being more fool than his wife was simple , he would needs try how far he might trust her simplicity . He set himself in a chair , caus'd his wife to stand before him , and said these words to her , or others haply no less impertinent ; You are now my wife , a happiness for which I hope I shall have cause to bless God as long as we live together . Let it sink very deeply into your mind , what I am going to tell you , and observe it exactly as long as you live , both for fear of offending God , and displeasing me . At all these hony'd words , the innocent Laura made very low courtzies , whether seasonably , or not , is no great matter , and look'd on her Husband as timerously as a Boy newly sent to School would on an imperious Pedant . Do you know , continu'd Don Pedro , what kind of life persons that are married do lead ? I know nothing of it , replies Laura , making a courtzie lower than any before ; but if you will teach it me , I shall be as perfect in it as in my Ave-mary , and then another courtzie . Don Pedro was the most satisfi'd man in the world , to find his wife much more simple than he could well have expected . He drew out of a closet that was in the chamber a suit of Armour , very rich and very light , which he had sometime worn at a magnificent reception , which the City had made for the King of Spain . He put his idiot-wife into them , he put on her head a little gilt Head-piece cover'd with a plume of feathers , girt a short Sword to her side , and having put a Lance into her hand , told her , that the duty of such married Women as would be accounted virtuous , was , to watch their Husbands while they slept , arm'd all over as she then was . She made him no answer ; but with her ordinary reverences , which had not haply been at an end a good while , if he had not commanded her to take two or three turns about the chamber ▪ which she did by chance with so much Majesty , ( her natural beauty , and Pallas-like accoutrements contributing much thereto ) that the over-subtil Granadin was in a manner out of himself for joy to see it . He went to bed , and Laura continu'd in the posture he had left her in , till five in the morning .

The most prudent and most circumspect of all the Husbands that ever were , at least who thought himself no less , got up , put on his cloaths , disarm'd his wife , help'd her to put off her cloaths , and having dispos'd her into the bed out of which he rose , kiss'd her over and over , and wept out of pure joy that he had found , as he thought , what he look'd for . He order'd her to lie a bed till it were very late , and having commanded the Maids not to disturb her , he went to Mass , and thence about his occasions ; for I had forgot to tell you , that he had bought an Office at Granada , such as might be that of a perpetual Major or Sheriff .

The first night of the Nuptials was spent in the manner you heard , and the Husband was such a Coxcomb as to make no better use of the second . But Heaven punish'd him according to the use he made of his Talent . There happen'd a business , which oblig'd him , all excuses laid aside , to take post the same day , and make all the expedition he could to Court . He had no more time allow'd him than to shift himself , to put on other cloaths , and to take leave of his wife , whom he commanded , upon pain of God's displeasure and his own , exactly to observe , in his absence , the life that married women were to lead .

Those who have any thing to do at Court , are uncertain how long it may be , ere they are dispatch'd . Don Pedro thought not to have staid abroad above five or six days , but his business kept him there like a Burre , now sticking to one Courtier , anon to another , for four or five months ; in the mean time , the simple Laura neglected not her duty , spent the nights according to her Husband's order , in armour , and the days that succeeded them in such works as she had learn'd among the Nuns .

Much about this time came a Gentleman of Corduba to prosecute a Law-suit at Granada . He was , as to his internals , no fool ; as to his externals , handsome enough . He often saw Laura in her Balcony , and thought her very handsome : he often pass'd and repass'd by her windows , a kind of Courtship ordinary in Spain : and Laura , on the other side , so let him go to and fro , without either knowing what it meant , or indeed having any desire to know . A Citizen's wife , of mean quality , who liv'd over against Don Pedro's house , being of a nature extremely charitable , and concerning her self much in the exigencies of any she saw distress'd , soon took notice both of the affection of the Stranger , and the insensibility of her fair Neighbour thereof . She was a woman could manage a business with abundance of conduct and circumspection , and the principal quality she profess'd , was that of making Matches , and solliciting venereal causes , whether they were just or unjust it matter'd not , so they brought in something to make the pot boil . And this employment Nature seem'd to have design'd her for , as having furnish'd her with all the accomplishments requisite in such as would be eminent therein ; for she had some skill in making of Periwigs , she had a pension from all Chamber-maids , and Waiting-Gentlewomen , to sell their Lady 's cast cloaths and their own , and other things which your meaner sort of Gentlewomen make a great show with ; she distill'd several sorts of Waters , she had some secrets for the beautifying of the body , and above all , she had confidence enough to pretend to some skil in Chiromancy and Astrology , and upon that account , lay under some suspition of being a Witch . She so constantly saluted the Gentleman of Corduba every time he pass'd by her Neighbour's door , that he could not but imagine it done out of some design . He return'd her Salutation , went to her , and with the fame labour became acquainted with her , and improv'd that acquaintance into Friendship ; he made her privy to his Love , and promis'd her a very good reward if she prov'd a successful sollicitress on his behalf to her Neighbour .

Upon this encouragement ( instructions she needed not any ) the old piece of Brokery bestirs her self immediately ; she soon prevail'd with the simple Servants to let her in to the Mistress , under pretence of shewing her some rarities which she had to sell ; She commended her beauty , bemoan'd her being depriv'd so soon of her Husband's company ; and , being left alone with her , brought in some discourse of the gallant Gentleman who pass'd by her doors so often . She told her that he lov'd her beyond his own life , and was p●ssionately desirous to become her servant , if so be she would permit him . Truly , truly , I am very much oblig'd to him , replies the innocent Laura , and should gladly entertain him into my service ; but the house is now full of servants , and till some one of them be dismiss'd , I dare not entertain any in my husband's absence . I will write to him about it , if this Gentleman be desirous I should , and doubt not but he will do any thing I shall press him to .

The tempting Gipsie needed not so great a discovery to be satisfi'd , that Laura was little remov'd from simplicity it self . She therfore made her apprehend , as well as she could , after what manner the Gentleman was desirous to serve her ; told her he was a person of as great an estate as her husband , and that if she were desirous to make any trial of it , she would bring her , as a present from him , Jewels of great value , and what else she should desire . Alas , Madam ! says Laura , I have so much of what you speak of , that I know not what to do with them . Nay , if it be so , repli'd the Satanical Ambassadress , and that you do not much care whether he make you any presents , do him but the favour as that he may give you a visit . That he may do when he pleases , says Laura , there 's no body hinders him . That will do very well , replies the Old one , but it were better , if none of your Servants knew of it . That 's no hard matter , replies Laura , for my Women lye not in my own Chamber , and I go to Bed without their assistance , and that very late . Take this key , which opens any lock about the house , and , about eleaven at night , he may come in at the Garden-gate , where there is a little pair of stairs that lead to my Chamber .

The old Crone upon that took her by the hands , and kiss'd them over and over , telling her she would go and revive that poor Gentleman , whom she had left half dead . How comes he to be in that condition , cries Laura not a little frightned ? 'T is you are the occasion of his death , replies the old tremptress . Laura grew pale , as if she had been convicted of a murther , and would have made protestations of her innocence , if the wicked Agent , who thought not fit to make any further trial of her ignorance , had not cast her arms about her neck , and , assuring her the sick party would not dye , taken leave of her .

It may be well imagin'd she was not so neglectful as to leave behind her that miraculous Key , which open'd all doors . There may haply be some body , who ▪ upon reading what is here said of that Key , will think he hath play'd the Critick rarely , when he shall say , that it was enchanted , and that this passage betrays something of fable : but whoever he be , let him know thus much from his most humble Servant , that the M●sters of Families in Spain have such Keys , which they call Mistress-keys , and accordingly take heed another time , how he carps at what he understands not . But now I think on 't , let him take what falls within his narrow apprehension which way he pleases : may I be thought as impertinent as he , if ever I trouble my head with it .

Nor shall I care a jot if he think this very digression impertinent ; let him make a Parenthesis of it if he will . I know he is impatient to know what the old woman does . She is just gone to the amorous Gentleman , who is at her house entertaining a Daughter of hers ; one her Mother designs to be her successor in the Discipline of advancing the enjoyments and accommodations of Mankind . Knocking as hard as she could at the door , the Gentleman began to suspect he might be betray'd ; but the Daughter understood it to signifie the happy success of her Mother's intercession , as having learnt from her , and she from the common proverb , that , Who brings good news is not afraid to knock at the door . She comes into the room with an infernal smile in her countenance , and gave him that account of her furtherance of the business , as made him ready to leap out at the windows for joy . He rewarded her very liberally , and expected night with much impatience . It comes at l●st , though never the sooner for his expectation . He gets into the Garden , and with as little noise as might be to Laura's Chamber-door , while she was walking very seriously up and down the Chamber , all in Armour and a Lance in her hand , according to the wise instructions of her extravagant Husband ▪ There was one small light , and that plac'd in a remote corner of the Chamber , the Door being wide open to receive the Gallant she expected ; but he seeing the glimpse of a person all in Armour , made no doubt but there was some treachery in the business . His fear at that time over-master'd his love , how violent soever it might be , so that h● made more haste to be gone than he had to come thither , imagining he could hardly get soon enough into the Street . He went to his Proxey , and acquainted her what danger he had been in . She , to vindicate the sincerity of her procedure , went the next day to Laura , who presently ask'd her , Whether the Gentleman were still sick , and why he came not according to appointment ? He is neither sick , nor hath fail'd to come , repli'd Satan , but finding a man all in Armour walking up and down your Chamber , it frightned him away ▪ Laura at this burst out into a laughter , she could not recover her self out of for a good while , which the Old one knew not how to interpret . At last , not able to laugh any longer , and making a shift to speak , she told her Neighbour , that it must needs be the Gentleman was never married , and that it was she her self who walk'd up and down the Chamber in Armour .

The old woman was still to seek what Laura should mean by that , and for a good while could not believe she was well in her wits ; but after abundance of questions and answers , she apprehended what she could never have believ'd , as well , of the simplicity of a young Maid of sixteen years of age , that should know any thing almost ; as the extravagant precaution her Husband had bethought him of to secure his Wives honour . She thought it her best course to let Laura continue in her error till she were undeceiv'd by her expected Gallant , and so , in stead of betraying her surprize at the strangeness of the thing , she joyn'd with Laura in laughing at the fright she had put the Gentleman into . Another appointment was made that he should give his personal appearance at her Chamber that night . The old woman satisfied the Gallant , and both admir'd the sottishness as well of the Husband as the Wife .

Night came on , he gets into the Garden , thence up the private stairs , and found his Lady all in Armour , upon duty , as she us'd to be . He embrac'd her though all clad in Iron , and she entertain'd him , as if she had known him from the longest day she could remember . At last he ask'd her , Why she was all in Armour ? She made answer , smiling , that she might not put them off , nor pass away the night in any other posture , and told him , since he seem'd not to know so much , that it was the life of married women , and that to fail in the observance thereof was a very great sin . The crafty Cordu●se had all the trouble in the world to undeceive her , and to persuade her that she was abus'd , and that the Life of married persons was quite another thing .

At last he prevail'd with her so far as that she was content he should disarm her , and to learn of him another way of exercising Marriage much more commodious and pleasant than that which her Husband made her practise , which Laura acknowledg'd to be very inconvenient and wearisome . He was not sloathful in disarming her , he help'd also to undress her , as not finding her ready enough at it , and having soon put off his own Cloaths he laid himself by her , and made her confess there was a vast difference between his Precepts of Marriage and those her Husband had given her ; he read her all the Lectures he could upon that subject , and she was so far apprehensive of hi● instructions , as that she grew not weary of learning , plying it very hard as long as her Husband continu'd at the Court. At last she receiv'd a Letter from him , which acquainted her that he was upon his return , and that he had dispatch'd his business at Court , and the Corduba-blade having also dispatch'd his at Granada , the crafty Companion return'd home , without so much as taking his leave of Laura , and I think without the least regret for the loss of her company , nothing being so frail as the Love a Man hath for a Woman that 's little better than a natural Fool.

Nor was Laura on the other side less indifferent , but receiv'd her Husband with so much satisfaction , and betray'd so little resentment for the loss of her Gallant , as if she had never seen him . Don Pedro and his Wife supp'd together to the great satisfaction of both . Bed-time came on . Don Pedro went into Bed as he was wont to do , and was much astonish'd to see his Wife in her Smock coming to ly down by him . He ask'd her in a great fury , why she was not in Armour ? So I should indeed , said she to him , had not another Husband taught me a more pleasant way for a Woman to pass away the Night with her Husband . It seems then you have another Husband , replies Don Pedro ? Yea , that I have , says she to him , so pretty a man , and so handsome , that you will be ravish'd to see him ; and yet I know nor when we shall see him , for since I receiv'd the last Letter you sent , I could never set Eyes on him .

Don Pedro , smothering the trouble of his thoughts , ask'd her , Who it was ? She could not give any further account concerning him , but in requital proffer'd Don Pedro to shew him what the other Husband had taught her . The unhappy man pretended himself sick , and it 's not unlikely he was so , at least in his mind . He thereupon turn'd from her , and bethinking himself that he had made choice of an Idiot to his Wife , who had not onely done what blemish'd his Reputation , but thought her self not oblig'd to conceal it , he call'd to mind the wholesome advice of the Dutchess , who no doubt would have been pleas'd with the account of this last Adventure of his . He thereupon detested his Error , and was satisfied , though too late ; That a virtuous and discreet Woman knows how to observe the Laws of Honour ; and if , out of frailty , she chance to break them , that she can conceal her miscarriage .

At last , taking heart , he resolv'd to submit with patience to a misfortune that was not to be remedied . He continued for a time his pretence of being indisposed , to see whether the Lectures of his Lieutenant had done any thing besides reaching his Wife what he had done better to have taught her himself . They lived together some years afterwards ; he had always an eye over her Actions , and , before he died , ( having had no Children by her ) he left her his whole Estate , upon condition she would become a Nun , and go into the same Convent where Seraphina was , whom he acquainted that Laura was her Daughter . He writ to Madrid , to his Cousin Don Rodrigues , and sent him the History of his Life and Adventures , and acknowledged that his embracing of so erroneous an opinion had reduced him to that misfortune which he feared most of any , and against which he thought he had used the greatest precaution .

He died ; Laura was neither troubled at it , not glad of it ; she went into the Nunnery where her Mother was , who finding the Estate left by Don Pedro to her Daughter to be very great , founded a Convent , and became the first Abbess of it . The History of Don Pedro was divulged after his death , and served to satisfie those that made any doubt of it . That , without wit , Virtue cannot be perfect ; That a witty Woman may be Virtuous of her self ; And that a simple Woman cannot be such , without the assistance and good directions of some other .