IT was about that time in the morning when the mortals of this side of the Aequinectial Line , are accustomed to Satisfie their Gusto in refreshing Nature by frequent Oscitation and Pandiculation to their Members ; Surfeit with toil , and Disgorging from their Nauseating Ventricle by Eructation , the Crudity's Engendered there through their painful and Laborious Carousing ; and what is wanting that way , Viz . When Carles & queens Gants Rifts and farts before they come out of their Beds . their roaring Borborygius declareth by another in a very sensible way of breathing : This was the time , I say , when the magnificent and much expected Prince of Tartary , Tomambeio Dionigi Cuoulato Pazzeio with his numerous Fleet of 3000. Gundolo's was discovered as they wantonly coasted along the South Shoar of the Forth , with the benefit of St. Abb's blessing ; this jocund and secure Joviality was on a sudden changed through the indescreit Steerage of their Vice-Admiral , who spent his Boltspreet on a goose-nest in that famous Island , or rather Rock of the Basse ; this did so Alarm that plumed Carrion that it was wonderful to see with what fiercenesse and resolution the keckling Militia assaulted the Tartarian Fleet , and in a very inconsiderable space they boorded and were Conquerours of the whole , except of that in which the Prince himself was with my self , who by flight ( surpassing that of the Geese ) gained the Haven of Cockany . These insolent Birds who by this time certainly are vapouring in their Gowns , spacious turbants and tyara's to fortifie themselves against the like Mumchance , staved the whole Vessels , therewith to erect their Domicils with couplins and Rafters : The Prince with his small retinue left him , found a more Hospitable reception by the Consuls Tribuns of the mentioned City , who came to understand this designe , and resolution for celebrating of these Solemnities at Cowper Race , this they understood partly through the Advertisement given them by the Caledonius , partly through the interperation of a Levite amongest them to whom all Languages were indifferent , except that of his mothers . Every one laboured to cheer up this disconsolate and dejected Prince , and according to their own fashion treated him with all sorts and sizes of Mussesles , Cockell'os , Spouteios , Limpettos , Linogustos , Clamos , Buccas , and all of them decently with their own naturall condiments ; Others would have presented him with Scarts , Scouts Buccas , and Kitty-wak's , at the sight of which , his kind heart qualmed , modestly refusing them , alleadging they were descended of these boodly Islanders who had destroyed his Fleet His Highnesse pressed much his departure , and the on they other side urged extreamly his abode amongest them till September , that he might see hemself fully revenged on his enimies by the prowes and activity of Grall , Thom Gosh and others his Mirmidons , famous amongst the Poultriers of Edina ; it is at that season the War constantly commences 'twixt these two parties , seldom the General misseth to banish whom he hath not seized on ( and these are whole Congregations ) to the Indies , notwithstanding of their revengefull allurements , his circumcized Hignesse was more ambitious to prosecute his progresse then have seen any these unctious animals massacred . The next day which was that he used to worship on , he desired to know of the Oricles of the Countrey to avoid scandale , and accordingly with a Machumetan gravity had the patience to lend his Lugs to the out-runing of two Glasses , with their respective Appendixes : By this time he had learned that the day following was called Monday , on which day he might travell securly , but could not be suffered to go till he had break-fast with Car-cakes and Pattylow's , and recived the courtsiee of being creat Burgesse and Gild●brother , all which being orderly done , he was provided with a covenant Convoy and Trench men to compleat his Fifean pilgrimage , the Eschevins conducting him to the City-gates where their Recorder in a grave phlegmatick Speech bid him , heatrily farewel : Our first halt was at the three Tuns in Letha where having spent asmall time in fortifying our Tabernacles . against the marine Exhalations , which useth to Trouble Squeamish Stomachs , we imbarqued in that antient and new Bottom , formerly known by its Owner Captain Watson , but now under the Command of Admiral John Cray ; This is the Vessel that Rescued Don Juon of Austria , at the Battle of Lepanto , when twelve bloody Bashaw's with their Gallies had Grapled with him , and yet their Anteillery was no other but Six old pumps , and two on fixt Muskets : The inevitable Necessity in observing the Tydes dyet , obstructed the Entertainment appointed for us by the Litheians . We had a pleasant Topsail-drow , from the South-east , which is less then half a Glasse running , made us bring the Stones to the score , so that we left speedily Inch-keith , upon our weather quarter ; This islet ( as we learned from our Co passengers ) is Famous for Fatning of Bestial , and most Convenient for Clandestine Coyn , the clink of the Hammer hardly to be heard on either shore : But this being a divertisement for such Virtuosie , as spends their Estates to learn to leave on their Wits , its consideration we leave with them , if there be any itch in their Neck , and thus they my Try it : In another half Glasse our Waftage termined at Burtisland ; this same Town is as Joppa to Jerusalem , the constant place of Arrival of such as are desireous either to be cured by the wholsome Waters of the Spaw , nigh Kingborn , or who are curious to hear the ambiguous Responces of the Athenian Hocus ; Our Treatment here was conform to the Season and Countrey modd , Bisks and Olio's of the choisest pullaile ; John Gibb the Stall-master of the place ( else where known by the name of Post-master ) addressed himself to the Prince , with such Civilities , as are not ordinary to Hackney Superintendants , and furnished us Horses , appearing in View like Greenland Bucks in December , yet indeed swift as the Buffolo's in Lombardie , who are said to be begot by a Siroco . We held on our course towards Kingborn , resolving to view the Spaw , so renowned for its prolifick , Qualities , and so Traversed two Miles of Sands , as fertile with the wanton Shel fish , as formerly Egypt was of Locusts : The Fountain Discovered it self under most pleasant and beautiful Rocks , where Nature displayed her self in her Richest furniture of her pearled Shels in several grotes , some of which even in our sight dropping off the most precious and well informed pearls , as ever the place produced , which moved his Tartarian Highness to confess , that what for its Cascato's , and what for Crotesco's , it is exceeded far any he had ever seen in Europe . In the fountain it self , Neptune hath been often seen ( as the Countrey people confidently affirmeth ) to have been boyling Lobstars , and Crabs at Christmass Eve , and with no other fire , than the heat of the Sun , through situate in the 56 degree of Latitude . The Fountain springs from the Earth in a straight Line , it reacheth the Antipodes : And why ? say they , because it Ebbs and Flowes like the Sea ; That when the Tyde runs from this Hemisphere to them , than by a Violent motion , it is returned in a full Tyde to us : They say mote , that the mouth of the Conduit , from whence the Water guished , hath its Incrementa and Decrementa like to the Moon , only differing in the Variation o its figures , as Circle , Oval , Tozenge , Obtuse , Sharpe , Triangle , Regular ; Pentagon , Hexagon , and Octagon , &c. They said more that there were a Jure Divino amongst them , and he no small Doubt spear , who concluded that it was one of the Quatuor Coluri , but to tell Truth this Companion ended , when we for two hours Contemplared this pleasant Fountain with its promontary , we came to Kingborn , a place for its Situation not unlike that of Lisbon , as to the Valeys and Hills Circumjacent , but indeed the Indian Adventurers Buildings , there come short of the Palaces of the Bait gatherers here : After we had Solaced our selves in the Survey of their Universities , and other their Nurceries of Fish learning , we set one to Kirkealdie , a Town eminent for Navigation , and on that consideration , our Parthian Heroes , would that the Travelling inhabitants of the City , should at the first View , understand by his Habite and Garb , for hitherto he had been cloathed in the Countrey fashion ) what his Territories and Dignities were , and instantly the Master of the Wardrope being advertised , produced the Robes , Vestments of the great Arsacides , for Triming up our Adventurer : Under his twilted Gown of a tawny colour , he had a Shirt of War , or coat of Male , composed of several complexioned Stones , in Mosaical work , representing by Figurs in a Historicall way all the Heroical Atchievements and amorous Adventures of his Progenitors , by his side the Cimater of the great Tamberlin , which for its Sharpness , is a Merciful Account in the Schock of Battell , can raze and Circumcise Beards , without Anoying the Flesh by Phlebotomy , He had the Bow of the great Nimrod , which with Bolts was accustomed to kill Dottrels , Begfigs , and Wood Cocks , for the Entertainment of his sporting Ladies : His head was covered with a black Velvet Cap , doubled with a Parcel of the Fort of the same Gowns that belonged to these Trepaning Elders , who would have Top't the fair and chaste Susanna .

In this order passing through the Town , we perceived some Lady's in Discontent , that they had not been Timously acquainted of the Cavale●do , that according to their custome in such sort of welcoming strangers , they had not saluted us with their perfumed water of Roses , Jasmin and Oranges ; But to make up that mischance , they served themselves of the readiest ; and very decently with their Syringers , Jyrted us with the Odoriferous flavour of Sketbroth , which occasioned us to hasten to the Towns end , where there is a Rinulet famous for the Resort of some Sturdy and Boysterous Nymps who uses to Recreate themselves there , and it seems that they had Notice of our passing that way ; For suddenly at our approach ; they Started the threesome Reel , consisting of Sixteen , all cast in Couples , each Couples being placed in a large Tub , or independent Pulpit , having their Garments Tuckt up to the height of the Baltywhang : Here was old Whisking and Skelping , and the better to keep Cadence to their Levalto's , the palms of their hands , were imployed for Castanietto's , which made more Nimble whitherings on their Breeches , then Drum-sticks at the Dian . But our Chaplain fearing such objects , might swell his highness Concupiscence , hastened us to the Path head , but more renowned by the Names of Hirpletilbin or Pickltilhim : It is a received custome of the inhabitants of this place , to geld all those who laughs at the Go●g , and Greets at the &c. Our passage through this Town , was no otherwise welcomed , then that of those who are inquisitive of its Name , all these Belchings our Prince taking for jovial acclamations . Not far from this Town stands on a high Rock , the Castle of Ravenshough , which before the War was renowned for Hospitality and Good fellowship , but now a Receptacle for Pitcaples Angels , here they shew as the Vestige of a Furnace which Blew up Culverins , Secars and Drakes our of Cordevant Gloves : Nigh to this is the Excellent Spring called Vyne-Weel . of which all of us drank , One of the Company who had formerly been well acquainted with it , affirmed that nothing was comparable to it in curing habitual fevers , occasioned through drowth , and heat of the Liver , and that he himself had had frequent experience thereof . Hence we advanced to Dysart , a place well known for its great Trade of Sea , Coal and Salt ; and truth it is that the Mines of the one , and Alembicks of the other are more happy in their productions then most of thei● Neighbours : Here we contemplate the Beauty of the Vestals who are devoted to serve their Mother the Earth , by Ridding her Bowels of the black stone , they are still in Meditation of Heaven or Hell , as they ascend and descend . On our way towards the Weems , we took nottice of the Flewry verdant Banks , where we found Thestylis the Goddess of Hucksters , occupied in Ramassing of Nettles , who told us they were to serve for the Wedding feast of one of the Aldermans daughters of Buck-haven , this news made us make hast toithe place , and so we passed the Weems , that we might the sooner partcipat of the Solemnities of so glorious a consummation : The Brides here in all Ages having been crackt for their behaviour , our arrival was one hour ere Phaebus hot nodled steeds took stable , so we had time enough to survey the cunning situation and fortification of the place , equall to any other of the World : It lyes under the Brow of a steep Brack , so that it is unaccessible towards the Land , without hazard of Necky's : The Sea Guards the other side , the passages at either end are shut up with a Crosse Cart , which done , the Citizens sleeps securely unless you Allarm them with Souldiers . Our Reception was splendid , the whole Senate accompanying us in their Robes , which themselves in Modesty Term Bilfangls , not unlike to the Gowns with Velvet necks : And yet this Senate because they have Couls and Robes of the Gray-boddin , they plead them to be more Apostolick then these of the Bombacee . The Town Recorder was very full in a Speech , wherein he shew that the Arsacides our Princes Progenitors , had many obligations to their City , that in Thankfulness , their City might have the Education of their young Princes , he minding him that when the Parthians were likely to be subdued by the Romans , that their then Admiral Davy Downy relieved them with a Fleet of Oyster-Dreggers : They again when the Termigrants of the South Coast would have made Invasion on their Fish Territories , that then they were alwise supplied with Lanciers , strongly mounted on Grashoppers from Caramania : Thus he shew the mutual amity and League twixt the Republique and the Parthian Empire . Thus done , we were brought to their Colledge , where we saw the works of the great Magii , who treats of all the several Baits for catching Fish , from the Whyting to the Whale , from the Wilk to the Lobstar ; here we see their Printing-house , wherein there is now at the Presse , a rare piece of Blew-apron Divinity in Rhyme , we had not permission to read it all , but certainly it is Roguish , as you may judge by the Argument , to the Tune of the Old Broom , &c.

Hence we went to their Arsenal , plentifully provided with Hooks Nets , Corks , Leads , Plowters , Creels , and all inventions for ensnaring the Citizens of the Sea . At length we returned to the Bride , whos : entertainment was stately , of Dudds , Leydocks , Carlins , Orgements and Crowdy-moudy , the Musick was ratling of Shells of all sorts , Flute of Lobstar claws , Dulcimers of Partan bodies , and the Lochq●hab●es Organ , which is a Charming cluttering of two Beef ribs and a Hauks Bell , with a nimble agitation of the fingers : The Bride and her Virgins which were of the profession of Dulse-gatherers , had many excellent murgeons with their Gallants ; But the frequentest of all their Pavy's , was , the hooking on of Smacks on others Gobs , till their lips turned blew and parched : The hymaenial hour being nigh , the Bride begun to grin and claw her Elbow , a sign as we took it , to repair to our Lodgings , which accordingly we did , and found our Beds at the Arsenal well , composed of the strongest Harrows , and Linniged with with the finest Nets . The next morning which we longed much for , having given seeming thanks , we left our Foay ( you may guesse what it was ) for Drink Money , a Geordy , each under his own Pillow . We mounted for Cowper , where we arrived the night before the great Race , our entertainment there was so substantial , that I dare not mention the reality of it , lest I should seem to Romantize the Nobility , Gentry and Burgers , every one striving who should out do one another in welcoming the Prince . The next day the hour of Solemnity being come , the Court fenced in the Right Honourable the Lord Provost's name and all ceremonies duely performed , the two Horses which were to carry on the Work ( the one of Noble Eliot , the other of Stout Murray brother to the Barron of 〈◇〉 were led forth to the Score in Pomp , their Rider attended with the Friends of their Respective Patrons , attending them in a most decent and comely order : It was observable to see the difference of the Riders , both of them most expert Horsemen ; For John Ho●me ( mentioned sometime by Calidonius ) hath such a close seat , as one would take him to be a part of the Horse : The other Jamy Hall , so Laborious , that if the horse have any Spirits , he will not fail to send them to his Heels : Being started , they began to flie , and performed their work of six Miles in twelve Minutes , one amongst the Company confidently affirmed , that they made but 26 strokes in the whole course , which I believe , hardly it was carried by Mr. Murray's horse by two horse length : The prize was a sumptuous and large Cup of a great value , which with its Cover ( for it was fashioned like a Bedpan ) sufficient to Tozie a Dozen of Belgick Virtuosi .

The Race of the following day for a Cup of half the proportion of the other , bestowed gratis by the Towns heritable Provost , the Noble Earl , and was carried by a Barb of the Baron .

The third Race for a Sadle of five pound Sterling gained by a horse of Mr. Erskine Brother to the Noble constantly Loyal Hero ; This horse though of 28 years of Age , and had known and experienced horses of the Game against him , yet carried the Prize with a high Train . We cannot omit to shew , that during the time of the Usurper , he concealed his abilities as to speed , lest he might have been imployed in service against his Majesty ; as also since May 29 last , new Teeth hath sprung in place of the Old ones , so that now he may well pass for a four year old : This was the last day of this Years Olympiad at Cowper in Fife , which Town shew well who was their Patron by their Hospitality to Strangers , celebrate in the highest measure . All these sportful recreations were carried on by a most pleasant harmony , and a behaviour free of all contests and contradictions , that as I Learned the Mute Caledonius who was appointed there as a Judge , had this remark , that he had heard many Cracks and no Oaths , save in one inconsiderable Remonstator P●per of the Land of Whigmeria .

Our Parthian Prince being highly satisfied with all that passed , dismissed the Cockany Convoy , gifting every one of them with a Topaz of the Bigness of a Sows Egg , and not far from colour . What entertainment be meets withall as he goes further North we shall give an Account of , if we receive from the Tyfeans who undertook his Couvoy and Guide .

In the last Advertisement there was a mistake of Haddingtown Race , for it is upon the 21. of May next .