The
Experiences
of
Gods
Gracious
dealing
with
Mrs.
Elizabeth
White
.
FRom
my
Child-hood
the
Lord
hath
inclined
my
heart
to
seek
after
the
best
things
,
and
my
Fathers
chiefest
care
was
,
to
bring
me
up
in
the
nurture
and
admonition
of
the
Lord
:
my
nature
being
somewhat
more
mild
than
the
rest
of
my
Sisters
,
I
was
ready
to
think
my self
some
body
,
and
with
the
proud
Pharisee
,
to
thank
God
that
I
was
not
as
others
,
not
considering
that
I
was
but
like
a
Wolf
chained
up
,
which
keeps
its
nature
still
,
as
I
by
the
goodness
of
God
have
seen
,
since
the
Lord
was
pleased
to
lay
his
eye-salve
upon
me
.
I
was
a
great
lover
of
Histories
,
and
other
foolish
Books
,
and
did
often
spend
my
sleeping-time
in
reading
of
them
,
and
sometimes
I
should
think
I
did
not
do
well
in
so
doing
,
but
I
was
so
bewitched
by
them
,
that
I
could
not
forbear
;
&
hearing
of
a
friend
of
mine
,
which
was
esteemed
a
very
holy
woman
,
that
did
delight
in
Histories
,
I
then
concluded
it
was
no
sin
,
and
gave
my self
wholly
then
to
this
kind
of
folly
,
when
I
had
any
spare
time
,
for
two
or
three
years
.
I
had
sometimes
slight
thoughts
of
Repentance
,
but
was
loth
to
set
about
it
,
and
so
I
should
put
the
Lord
off
from
time
to
time
with
delays
,
thinking
still
I
should
find
a
fitter
time
then
the
present
.
I
remember
about
a
month
before
I
was
married
,
my
Father
would
have
me
receive
the
Sacrament
of
th●
Lords
Supper
,
and
I
was
very
willing
to
it
until
I
considered
what
was
requsite
to
be
in
those
which
did
partake
thereof
,
and
then
I
began
to
doubt
that
I
had
not
those
things
whic●
were
requisite
wrought
in
me
,
as
Knowledge
,
Faith
,
Love
,
Repentance
,
&c.
and
then
this
Scripture
came
into
my
mind
,
He
that
doubteth
is
damned
if
he
eat
,
for
whatsoever
is
not
of
faith
is
sin
:
when
I
had
considered
those
things
I
was
filled
with
sorrow
,
and
could
not
tell
what
to
do
,
I
was
loth
to
disobey
my
Father
,
and
more
loth
to
eat
and
drink
my
own
damnation
;
in
this
perplexity
I
set
my self
to
seek
the
Lord
for
his
grace
,
being
at
that
time
somewhat
sensible
of
the
want
of
it
;
when
I
had
thus
done
,
I
began
to
be
comforted
,
verily
thinking
,
that
now
I
had
repented
,
and
could
believe
in
Christ
Iesus
:
and
having
some
notional
knowledge
of
things
,
I
was
indiffe●ently
well
satisfied
,
thinking
that
when
I
wa●
married
,
I
should
have
more
leisure
to
serv●
God
;
and
then
going
to
the
Minister
of
th●
Par●sh
,
to
be
examined
before
I
was
admitted
and
finding
my self
able
to
answer
him
,
●
thought
all
was
well
with
me
then
,
and
so
unworthy
I
went
to
the
Lords
Table
,
not
quest●oning
but
that
I
was
in
as
good
a
condition
a●
any
of
the
rest
which
did
receive
.
But
blesse●
for
ever
be
the
Lord
which
broke
my
false
confidence
,
and
swept
away
my
refuge
of
Lyes
which
I
then
trusted
in
,
and
shewed
me
my
sad
condition
I
was
in
by
nature
and
practise
,
more
clearly
than
ever
before
;
and
this
was
about
a
quarter
of
a
year
after
I
was
married
,
in
the
year
,
1657.
the
Minister
being
upon
this
subject
,
Prov.
1.23
.
Turn
ye
at
my
reproof
,
&c.
being
upon
the
use
of
trial
,
whether
indeed
we
had
turned
to
God
or
no
?
he
bid
us
examine
our selves
by
some
marks
which
he
then
gave
,
and
it
was
at
this
time
that
God
did
begin
to
manifest
his
love
to
me
,
as
I
trust
,
in
my
effectual
vocation
;
here
the
Lord
was
pleased
to
open
my
heart
,
as
he
did
the
heart
of
Lydia
,
so
that
I
attended
to
the
things
that
were
spoken
,
so
that
I
perceived
my
heart
was
not
right
in
the
sight
of
God
,
and
that
my
hope
was
but
like
that
of
the
Hypocrite
which
perisheth
;
when
I
came
home
I
besought
the
Lord
to
turn
me
if
I
were
not
yet
turned
to
him
,
but
yet
I
had
not
that
thorow
sense
of
sin
,
as
I
had
afterwards
:
About
three
weeks
after
,
the
Minister
coming
to
our
house
,
my
Husband
and
I
was
speaking
that
we
would
desire
him
to
pray
with
us
in
our
Chamber
,
but
that
time
he
could
not
stay
,
the
next
day
he
came
and
asked
for
me
,
telling
me
that
my
Husband
told
him
that
I
would
speak
with
him
.
O
how
was
I
surprized
▪
I
could
not
tell
what
to
say
upon
the
sudden
,
I
was
so
hurried
in
my
thoughts
.
O
how
loth
was
I
to
acquaint
him
with
my
sad
state
●
I
was
ashamed
to
tell
him
that
I
was
yet
a
stranger
to
God
and
all
goodness
,
till
it
was
forced
from
me
,
which
when
he
heard
he
did
not
go
about
to
comfort
me
,
but
he
asked
me
if
ever
I
was
convicted
before
?
and
I
told
him
yes
;
and
he
repeated
the
first
vers.
of
the
29.
Chap.
of
the
Proverbs
,
He
that
being
often
reproved
,
hardeneth
his
neck
,
shal
suddenly
be
destroyed
,
and
that
without
remedy
:
when
I
heard
this
I
was
wonderfully
troubled
;
then
there
came
many
sins
to
my
remembrance
,
which
I
had
taken
no
notice
of
before
,
counting
them
small
sins
;
now
the
time
which
was
spent
in
reading
Histories
I
remembred
with
bitter
grief
,
and
I
thought
that
there
was
no
mercy
for
me
,
but
he
perswaded
me
there
was
hope
of
mercy
for
such
as
I
,
and
that
the
Lord
waited
to
be
gracious
to
poore
sinners
,
and
then
I
was
a
little
satisfied
for
the
present
;
but
then
I
was
troubled
with
blasphemous
thoughts
,
which
were
very
grievous
to
me
,
I
thought
I
had
a
heart
worse
than
the
Devil
,
and
wondered
that
I
was
not
consumed
in
some
strange
manner
;
when
I
have
seen
a
Spider
,
which
of
all
things
is
most
loathsome
to
me
,
I
have
been
ready
to
wish
my self
such
a
one
,
esteeming
of
it
to
be
in
a
far
happier
condition
than
I
was
;
I
was
afraid
to
be
in
the
dark
lest
I
should
met
the
devil
;
I
doubted
whether
I
was
elected
,
I
had
read
,
that
I
was
not
of
him
that
willeth
,
nor
him
that
runneth
,
but
of
God
that
sheweth
mercy
:
Then
I
thought
if
I
were
not
elected
,
it
was
to
no
purpose
to
strive
,
for
what
God
hath
decreed
must
be
,
but
yet
I
was
unwilling
to
perish
,
I
could
not
be
so
satisfied
,
although
I
had
but
little
hope
to
obtain
mercy
,
yet
I
could
not
but
ask
it
,
I
was
also
very
frequent
in
hearing
the
Word
preached
and
read
,
not
daring
to
let
slip
an
opportunity
,
but
not
without
many
tears
,
lest
it
should
increase
my
condemnation
:
in
this
condition
I
remained
a
great
while
,
but
not
without
some
secret
supports
from
the
Lord
,
sometimes
by
a
word
cast
in
upon
my
spirit
,
sometimes
I
was
refreshed
I
could
not
tell
how
,
but
I
should
be
ready
to
think
this
was
a
delusion
;
I
remember
the
Scriptures
were
these
,
Isa.
50.10
.
Who
is
among
you
that
feareth
the
Lord
that
obeys
the
voice
of
his
Servant
,
that
walks
in
darkness
,
and
hath
no
light
,
let
him
trust
in
the
name
of
the
Lord
,
and
stay
upon
his
God
.
Iohn
15.16
.
Ye
have
not
chosen
me
,
but
I
have
chosen
you
and
ordained
you
that
ye
should
go
and
bring
forth
much
fruit
,
and
that
your
fruit
should
remain
,
&c.
Lam.
3.25
.
The
Lord
is
good
unto
the
soul
that
waits
for
him
,
and
to
them
that
seek
him
;
It
is
good
that
a
man
should
both
hope
and
quietly
wait
for
the
Salvation
of
the
Lord
,
&c.
These
words
did
support
me
very
much
,
therefore
,
I
write
them
out
and
laid
them
in
my
Closet
,
that
they
might
still
be
in
my
eye
,
that
I
might
when
I
looked
upon
them
be
incouraged
to
hope
in
and
wait
upon
the
Lord
;
but
these
comforts
were
but
transient
,
but
yet
whiles
they
lasted
they
were
very
sweet
supports
,
but
when
gone
I
fell
to
doubting
,
thinking
all
was
delusions
,
and
thus
I
dishonoured
God
〈◊〉
my
unbelief
;
I
doubted
much
of
my
sincerity
often
saying
I
was
an
hypocrite
,
but
if
at
an●
time
I
was
asked
in
what
I
was
one
,
I
could
not
tell
;
but
had
this
Scripture
very
often
in
my
mind
,
There
is
a
way
which
seemeth
right
unto
a
man
,
but
the
end
thereof
is
death
:
And
so
I
thought
I
was
but
seemingly
right
,
and
therefore
must
needs
perish
:
and
in
this
condition
I
continued
a
long
time
,
but
I
heard
that
a
hypocrite
seldome
or
never
doubted
his
condition
▪
and
that
it
was
a
sign
of
sincerity
,
to
desire
a
sincere
heart
;
and
this
I
durst
not
deny
,
knowing
that
I
did
desire
it
rather
than
the
whole
world
.
Thus
being
better
satisfied
,
I
resolved
to
se●
about
my
duty
,
but
all
this
while
I
did
not
see
such
a
high
price
upon
the
Lord
Iesus
as
I
should
,
but
still
I
thought
that
I
must
do
something
to
merit
salvation
,
not
daring
to
venture
my
soul
with
all
its
concernments
upon
Christ
,
therefore
I
should
tye
my self
to
pray
six
times
a
day
,
and
then
I
should
be
satisfied
,
and
thin●
all
was
well
with
me
then
:
but
if
I
at
any
tim●
failed
of
my
number
,
then
I
was
dis-satisfied
and
so
in
other
duties
;
so
that
my
comforts
did
not
flow
from
the
blood
and
righteousness
of
Iesus
,
but
from
my
own
duties
;
but
blessed
be
the
Lord
,
who
likewise
shook
this
foundation
,
even
because
he
had
a
favour
to
me
:
for
being
in
discourse
with
a
friend
,
he
desired
me
to
read
Shephards
sincere
Convert
;
which
I
did
;
and
here
did
I
see
as
in
a
glass
my
folly
,
for
there
were
signs
given
whereby
I
might
try
my self
,
whether
I
did
rest
in
duties
.
One
I
remember
was
this
,
If
I
never
saw
I
rested
in
Duties
,
then
it
was
a
sure
sign
that
I
then
did
;
another
was
this
,
If
I
prized
the
bare
performance
of
duties
so
,
as
to
think
when
I
had
prayed
with
some
life
,
that
I
had
done
very
well
;
and
again
,
If
I
saw
but
little
of
my
vile
heart
by
Duties
,
then
it
was
a
sign
I
rested
in
them
,
and
that
I
was
yet
in
the
way
to
Hell
,
though
in
the
cleanliest
way
,
and
should
certainly
perish
if
I
rested
here
.
Now
this
I
plainly
saw
was
my
condition
,
but
how
to
get
out
of
it
I
knew
not
,
for
now
I
was
in
a
worse
condition
than
at
the
beginning
,
finding
it
abundantly
more
hard
to
deny
righteous
self
than
sinful
self
:
I
thought
it
wonderful
strange
,
that
I
must
be
saved
by
the
righteousness
of
another
,
if
ever
I
were
saved
;
O
this
my
proud
heart
was
unwilling
to
yeeld
to
,
and
yet
I
was
very
desirous
of
salvation
:
But
when
the
Lord
had
led
me
into
my
own
heart
,
and
shewed
me
the
vileness
of
that
more
,
and
that
if
the
Lord
should
leave
me
to
my self
,
I
should
commit
all
kind
of
sin
,
and
that
with
greedines
,
such
was
the
vileness
of
my
nature
,
and
that
if
it
were
possible
I
should
now
live
holily
,
yet
I
could
not
satisfie
the
justice
of
God
for
what
was
past
,
therefore
I
resolved
to
cast
my self
upon
Christ
Iesus
that
sure
foundation
,
which
God
had
laid
and
not
man
,
and
if
I
perished
,
to
perish
here
,
but
much
opposition
did
I
meet
with
from
Satan
and
my
own
heart
,
before
I
could
really
do
it
,
I
could
seal
to
the
truth
of
that
scripture
,
Eph.
1.19
.
That
God
did
put
forth
his
mighty
power
,
when
a
soul
was
made
to
believe
:
but
yet
I
was
not
at
quiet
,
but
had
many
fears
and
doubts
that
all
was
false
,
because
I
had
been
so
often
deceived
,
and
now
I
began
to
●ee
mine
own
vileness
more
than
ever
and
●ound
my
heart
ran
out
to
the
Lord
Iesus
in
love
,
but
doubted
very
much
of
his
love
to
me
,
yet
sometimes
I
should
have
some
perswasions
of
my
interest
in
Christ
,
and
that
his
love
was
towards
me
;
and
whilst
this
perswasion
lasted
I
should
be
very
comfortable
&
be
ready
to
think
I
should
never
be
moved
,
as
David
did
:
but
when
God
hid
his
face
,
I
was
troubled
and
fell
to
doubting
all
again
,
not
having
learned
that
heavenly
skill
of
living
by
Faith
,
but
yet
I
did
not
wholly
cast
off
my
confidence
,
but
had
some
pin
hole
of
hope
in
the
worst
condition
.
I
remember
the
consideration
of
this
scripture
,
Iohn
3.8
.
He
that
is
born
of
God
doth
not
commit
sin
,
filled
me
with
many
fears
knowing
how
apt
I
was
to
commit
sin
,
notwithstanding
my
striving
against
it
:
but
a
little
while
after
I
was
satisfied
,
understanding
the
place
better
,
that
it
was
not
meant
of
sins
of
infirmity
,
but
of
making
sins
ones
trade
,
&c.
and
this
was
I
confident
I
did
not
,
but
rather
trembled
at
the
thoughts
of
it
;
but
when
this
was
over
,
Satan
and
my
own
unbelieving
heart
will
still
be
presenting
something
whereby
to
occasion
doubts
,
so
that
for
the
space
of
one
year
and
a
half
,
I
had
scarcely
any
settled
peace
,
now
and
then
a
good
word
thrown
in
which
would
revive
me
for
the
present
,
but
the
comfort
would
be
soon
gone
,
as
Ezek.
36.26
.
A
new
heart
will
I
give
,
and
a
new
spirit
will
I
put
in
you
,
and
I
will
take
away
the
stony
heart
out
of
your
flesh
,
and
I
will
give
you
a
heart
of
flesh
,
and
will
put
my
spirit
within
you
,
and
cause
you
to
walk
in
my
statutes
,
&c.
This
Promise
I
should
often
plead
with
God
very
sensibly
and
with
much
confidence
:
another
was
Iohn
11.25
.
I
am
the
resurrection
and
the
life
,
he
that
believeth
on
me
,
though
he
were
dead
yet
should
he
live
:
And
whosoever
liveth
and
believeth
in
me
shall
never
die
.
This
I
remember
was
very
sweet
to
me
;
once
when
I
was
in
great
fear
lest
my
heart
should
grow
dead
,
and
when
I
was
with
Child
I
was
much
dejected
,
having
a
sence
of
my
approaching
danger
,
and
wanting
an
assurance
of
my
everlasting
happiness
;
but
whilst
I
was
considering
of
these
things
,
I
had
this
Scripture
set
home
with
abundance
of
sweetness
,
Psalm
.
50.15
.
Call
upon
me
in
the
day
of
trouble
,
and
I
will
deliver
thee
,
and
thou
shalt
glorifie
me
,
and
in
the
time
of
my
extremity
this
word
was
set
home
upon
my
heart
again
,
and
my
good
God
made
me
to
experience
the
truth
of
it
in
a
wonderful
manner
,
for
I
had
speedy
deliverance
beyond
my
expectation
,
which
filled
my
heart
and
mouth
with
praises
to
the
Lord
;
about
three
days
after
a
friend
coming
to
visit
me
,
I
related
to
her
how
good
the
Lord
had
been
unto
me
,
and
how
sweetly
my
heart
was
established
,
but
no
sooner
was
my
friend
gone
,
but
I
was
tempted
to
think
my
faith
was
false
,
but
I
labored
what
I
could
to
encourage
my self
in
the
Lord
my
God
.
But
as
I
lay
in
my
bed
,
I
thought
I
saw
three
men
before
me
,
and
it
was
presently
suggested
to
me
that
these
were
the
three
persons
in
the
Trinity
;
O
then
I
was
very
much
troubled
,
but
I
knew
I
was
under
a
temptation
,
and
therefore
cryed
to
the
Lord
for
help
,
but
was
not
p●esently
delivered
from
it
;
but
I
had
this
Scripture
brought
to
my
mind
,
No
man
shal
see
my
face
and
live
,
Exod.
33.20
.
But
not
being
yet
freed
,
I
began
to
consider
what
I
had
heard
and
read
as
means
to
help
against
such
temptations
,
at
last
I
remembred
,
that
Mr.
Bolton
in
his
Book
of
instructions
for
the
right
comforting
of
afflicted
consciences
,
gave
this
direction
,
after
the
party
had
prayed
for
help
against
the
Tempter
,
and
done
what
they
could
in
repelling
him
by
the
Word
of
God
,
that
if
they
were
yet
followed
by
Satan
,
that
then
they
should
set
about
some
honest
imployment
;
but
now
I
was
in
Bed
,
and
knew
not
what
to
set
about
for
the
present
,
at
last
I
resolved
to
try
to
suckle
my
Child
,
which
I
did
,
and
then
lay
down
again
,
and
found
that
I
was
pretty
well
freed
from
that
temptation
,
and
finding
my self
much
distempered
in
my
head
I
desired
the
Lord
to
give
me
rest
,
and
went
about
to
compose
my self
to
sleep
;
but
as
I
lay
I
thought
Satan
stood
before
me
,
asking
where
I
could
find
a
promise
for
sleep
,
at
present
I
could
not
think
of
any
,
but
after
some
study
this
was
brought
into
my
mind
,
The
Lord
will
give
his
beloued
sleep
;
this
word
comforted
me
,
but
yet
I
could
not
all
that
night
get
any
sleep
,
but
still
thought
I
saw
Satan
laughing
at
me
,
because
I
had
no
sleep
,
and
yet
trusted
in
his
word
;
thus
all
the
night
I
continued
weak
in
body
and
comfortless
in
mind
,
so
that
in
the
morning
I
expected
nothing
but
death
,
then
beginning
to
think
more
seriously
of
my
change
,
Satan
as
I
then
thought
asked
me
where
was
my
assurance
of
my
everlasting
happiness
;
at
this
I
was
very
much
troubled
,
knowing
I
had
not
full
assurance
,
but
yet
some
good
hope
through
the
goodness
of
God
I
had
,
therefore
my
heart
made
answer
,
it
is
true
I
have
no
assurance
,
but
I
have
cast
my self
wholly
upon
the
Lord
Christ
,
and
in
him
only
is
my
hope
,
and
here
will
I
rest
,
and
if
I
perish
I
perish
,
but
sure
I
am
such
shall
not
perish
,
for
Christ
hath
promised
them
eternal
life
.
Thus
being
assisted
by
the
Lord
,
I
vanquished
Satan
for
that
time
:
and
being
thus
at
peace
,
I
quickly
fell
asleep
,
and
dreamed
there
was
a
Ladder
set
upon
the
earth
,
whose
top
reached
to
heaven
,
and
I
thought
I
was
to
go
up
that
Ladder
into
heaven
,
&
that
as
fast
as
I
got
up
I
was
pulled
down
again
,
which
caused
me
to
shed
abundance
of
tears
fearing
that
I
should
never
get
up
,
and
I
thought
something
from
above
drew
me
by
the
arms
,
but
I
could
not
see
what
,
but
at
last
I
thought
I
was
in
heaven
where
all
tears
were
wiped
from
mine
eyes
,
and
I
was
filled
with
rejoycing
,
but
when
I
had
been
there
a
little
while
,
I
thoght
I
was
to
go
back
again
to
the
earth
,
and
this
very
much
troubled
me
:
but
then
I
thought
I
heard
a
voice
saying
,
it
would
be
but
for
a
little
while
,
and
that
I
should
die
in
Child-bed
,
and
that
the
night
before
I
dyed
I
should
have
full
assurance
;
this
very
much
rejoyced
me
,
(
and
I
was
very
desirous
to
know
of
what
child
I
should
dye
,
but
that
was
denyed
me
,
upon
this
account
,
because
I
should
be
always
prepared
,
but
when
I
did
awake
I
was
filled
with
unexpressible
joy
,
earnestly
longing
to
be
dissolved
and
to
be
with
Christ
which
was
best
of
all
,
and
yet
willing
if
the
Lord
pleased
to
suffer
any
thing
which
might
be
inflicted
on
me
.
Then
I
remembred
how
Satan
,
when
I
was
about
to
turn
to
God
,
would
present
the
sufferings
of
Gods
people
to
me
,
thinking
by
that
means
to
turn
me
back
again
,
and
how
I
should
be
discouraged
by
them
but
being
filled
with
the
joys
of
Gods
Spirit
I
thought
I
could
suffer
any
thing
,
not
wondering
,
as
I
had
done
,
how
the
Saints
of
old
could
bear
up
so
bravely
under
their
sufferings
.
But
after
I
began
to
amend
,
my
joys
were
not
so
full
,
as
they
had
been
,
but
I
had
a
more
setled
peace
than
formerly
I
had
,
blessed
be
the
Lord
;
I
had
many
various
changes
in
my
spirituall
state
but
once
having
a
great
sense
of
a
hard
heart
,
and
being
desirous
to
have
it
molified
,
I
was
tempted
to
do
some
great
evil
,
as
the
only
means
to
break
me
;
and
that
it
might
be
the
readier
entertain'd
,
Satan
put
it
into
my
heart
to
consider
the
condition
of
Nathaniel
Butler
,
whose
heart
was
unbroken
till
the
commission
of
that
horrid
sin
of
murder
,
and
then
this
great
evil
brought
him
to
a
sight
and
sense
of
all
sin
▪
this
temptation
was
very
strong
upon
me
,
but
yet
stronger
was
he
that
was
with
me
,
than
he
that
was
against
me
;
for
at
that
very
instant
did
the
Lord
cast
into
my
heart
that
happy
word
,
Rom.
8.3
.
Let
us
do
evil
that
good
may
come
,
whose
damnation
is
just
.
This
word
proved
a
happy
means
to
repel
the
temptation
;
but
yet
this
mercy
I
had
forgot
,
till
the
Lord
revived
it
upon
my
heart
,
almost
two
years
after
as
I
was
reading
the
Chapter
.
And
since
my
Child
was
weaned
,
I
was
in
such
a
state
of
deadness
and
darkness
,
that
I
thought
if
I
was
ever
raised
out
of
it
I
should
never
question
my
condition
again
;
I
was
tempted
to
think
that
the
Scripture
was
not
the
word
of
God
?
I
had
let
out
my
affection
in
a
wonderful
measure
to
my
Child
,
and
yet
my
Lord
forsook
me
not
,
but
dispelled
my
darkness
,
and
filled
me
with
rejoycing
;
O
What
shal
I
render
to
him
?
After
this
I
grew
into
another
damp
,
and
was
raised
again
,
and
I
trust
the
Lord
will
keep
me
notwithstanding
all
the
mist
which
shall
be
raised
in
my
heart
by
sin
and
Satan
,
even
by
his
power
through
faith
unto
Salvation
.
These
Scriptures
revived
me
〈◊〉
several
times
;
when
I
was
in
heaviness
fo●
want
of
the
presence
of
God
at
the
Ordinan●●
of
the
Lords
Supper
,
Prov.
8.34
.
Blessed
ar●
they
that
watch
daily
at
my
gates
,
waiting
a●
the
posts
of
my
door
,
Mat.
20.15
.
Is
it
no●
lawfull
for
me
to
do
what
I
will
with
my
ow●●
This
cheeked
me
and
made
me
willing
to
wa●
at
that
time
;
But
this
is
my
comfort
,
God
〈◊〉
unchangeable
,
who
I
trust
wil
carry
me
throug●
all
the
difficulties
I
shall
met
with
here
below●
and
I
trust
will
ere
long
bring
me
to
the
e●joyment
of
himself
,
where
I
shall
be
past
si●ning
and
sorrowing
.
And
as
a
further
test●mony
of
my
interest
in
Christ
,
by
the
effects
〈◊〉
my
Faith
,
I
have
these
Evidences
.
First
,
My
love
to
God
,
which
is
greater
th●
to
any
thing
in
the
world
besides
,
and
my
G●
hath
left
it
upon
record
,
that
he
loves
them
th●
love
him
,
Prov.
8.17
.
I
know
my
love
is
n●
so
great
as
it
should
be
;
but
I
am
sure
n●
greatest
grief
is
,
that
I
can
love
him
no
bette●
and
in
this
case
God
will
accept
the
will
〈◊〉
the
deed
.
Secondly
,
I
know
my
love
is
sincere
by
th●
because
I
love
the
Children
of
God
,
for
as
is
,
1
Iohn
5.1
.
Every
one
that
loveth
hi●
that
begot
,
loveth
him
also
that
is
begotten
〈◊〉
him
:
and
by
this
I
know
that
I
love
th●
children
of
God
,
because
I
love
God
;
so
tha●
this
is
another
evidence
that
I
am
passed
fro●
death
to
life
,
even
because
I
love
the
brethren
,
1
Iohn
3.14
.
Thirdly
,
I
can
appeal
to
the
Lord
,
who
is
the
searcher
of
hearts
,
that
the
breathings
of
my
soul
are
chiefly
after
holiness
,
that
I
might
be
more
like
unto
the
Lord
Iesus
,
my
desire
is
to
serve
God
in
all
things
,
and
to
have
a
real
and
hearty
respect
unto
all
Gods
commandments
,
&
I
desire
if
it
were
possible
,
that
I
might
never
sin
more
,
but
rather
that
I
might
behave
my self
in
all
holy
conversation
,
as
one
that
hath
indeed
and
in
truth
experienced
how
good
and
gracious
the
Lord
is
:
I
bless
God
I
can
truly
say
,
that
my
hottest
conflicts
are
against
those
sins
which
are
obvious
only
to
the
eye
of
God
,
even
my
sinful
thoughts
,
though
they
come
not
into
action
;
O
many
a
sad
heart
have
I
had
when
I
have
considered
the
vileness
of
my
thoughts
,
and
yet
have
been
unblameable
in
my
conversation
,
and
this
is
still
my
daily
sorrow
,
and
therefore
I
trust
they
shall
never
be
my
ruine
,
but
that
the
Lord
will
shortly
re●oyce
the
heart
of
his
poor
servant
,
in
giving
me
the
victory
over
these
and
all
my
other
inbred
corruptions
,
which
have
so
often
made
a
separation
between
my
dear
Lord
and
my
poor
soul
.
Fourthly
,
I
find
a
great
change
in
any
heart
as
touching
the
Word
of
God
,
for
where
heretofore
like
a
wretch
as
I
was
,
I
esteemed
a
playbook
before
it
,
now
,
blessed
the
Lord
,
I
prize
it
before
all
other
,
and
good
reason
have
I
for
it
,
for
by
it
hath
the
Lord
quickned
m●
and
therefore
as
long
as
I
live
I
will
give
u●
my self
to
walk
according
to
the
rule
of
it
,
begins
the
spirit
of
God
to
open
the
mystery
of
it
to
m●
that
so
I
might
not
only
have
the
Letter
,
b●
the
very
mind
of
Christ
.
Fifthly
,
I
see
nothing
in
my self
that
mak●
me
more
worthy
of
salvation
than
another
,
know
that
I
have
deserved
to
lye
in
flames
,
〈◊〉
well
as
any
that
are
now
in
the
place
of
tormen●
and
that
nothing
but
mercy
hath
stept
betwe●
my
soul
and
everlasting
burnings
,
and
ther●fore
I
heartily
wish
,
that
I
might
always
admiring
of
this
free
grace
of
God
in
chus●●
me
before
the
foundation
of
the
world
was
la●
so
unworthy
a
creature
as
I
am
,
to
set
his
l●
upon
me
,
and
let
go
so
many
thousands
,
t●
were
more
capable
to
bring
Glory
to
his
na●
than
●
am
:
O
the
height
,
and
depth
,
a●
breadth
,
and
length
of
this
love
of
God
in
Ch●
Iesus
,
which
hath
abounded
to
me
a
poor
a●
unworthy
creature
●
it
is
indeed
such
a
love
passeth
knowledge
,
and
therefore
I
can
no●
sufficiently
admire
it
,
whilst
I
am
here
in
body
,
which
makes
me
long
to
be
dissolv●
that
so
I
might
know
it
more
clearly
,
and
swallowed
up
in
the
eternal
admiration
of
Amen
.
And
these
are
my
principles
which
I
tr●
I
shall
hold
fast
even
to
my
death
.
1.
I
believe
that
the
Scriptures
contained
in
the
Old
and
New
Testament
are
the
word
of
God
written
by
the
Prophets
and
holy
men
,
as
they
were
inspired
by
God
,
to
be
the
rule
of
Faith
and
life
to
his
people
:
I
believe
all
that
God
in
his
word
wills
me
to
believe
,
being
perswaded
by
the
spirit
of
God
concerning
the
truth
of
it
;
I
believe
that
there
is
one
only
eternal
God
,
who
hath
his
Being
from
himself
,
and
hath
given
a
Being
to
all
his
Creatures
,
both
in
heaven
and
earth
,
and
under
the
earth
,
and
from
eternity
to
eternity
doth
whatsoever
he
will
:
I
believe
that
this
eternal
God-head
is
distinguished
into
three
Persons
,
the
Father
begetting
,
the
Son
begotten
,
and
the
holy
Ghost
proceeding
from
them
both
,
I
believe
that
God
created
man
in
his
own
image
,
in
righteousness
,
and
holiness
giving
him
dominion
over
all
the
Creatures
,
and
likewise
gave
him
liberty
to
continue
in
this
happy
condition
if
he
would
,
but
he
having
liberty
to
stand
or
to
fall
in
his
own
hands
,
quickly
lost
that
happiness
which
God
had
instated
him
in
,
by
yeilding
to
the
inticements
of
Satan
,
so
that
breaking
the
commands
of
God
he
brought
a
curse
upon
himself
,
and
all
his
posterity
,
so
that
all
mankind
by
nature
are
now
in
a
miserable
condition
,
children
of
wrath
,
heirs
of
Hell
,
&c.
And
I
do
believe
,
that
God
from
all
eternity
knew
what
man
would
do
when
he
had
created
him
,
so
that
Adam's
fall
did
but
usher
in
,
as
it
were
,
a
greater
blessedness
:
for
I
do
believe
there
hath
been
an
eternal
Covenant
between
the
Father
and
the
Son
,
in
the
electing
some
to
life
even
before
the
foundation
of
the
earth
was
said
:
so
that
no
sooner
had
man
fallen
,
but
God
promised
a
Saviour
,
even
the
Lord
Iesus
Christ
who
in
his
divine
nature
is
in
all
things
equal
with
God
the
Father
,
and
that
such
was
his
exceeding
love
and
pity
to
poor
lost
creatures
that
had
broken
his
commands
,
and
said
themselves
liable
to
the
Curse
,
that
rather
then
they
should
perish
,
he
hath
laid
aside
the
Robes
of
his
glory
,
and
took
upon
him
the
nature
of
man
,
but
without
sin
;
and
that
he
was
conceived
by
the
holy
Ghost
,
born
of
a
Virgin
,
and
while
he
was
on
earth
was
loaded
with
reproaches
and
scorns
,
and
did
at
last
suffer
upon
the
cross
for
the
sins
of
his
Elect
,
where
he
bore
the
weight
of
Gods
wrath
in
his
Soul
,
by
his
heaviness
in
his
Agony
,
and
satisfied
the
Iustice
of
God
in
his
body
,
which
was
crucified
till
he
dyed
;
and
I
believe
that
he
was
buried
,
and
that
the
third
day
he
rose
again
from
the
dead
,
having
conquered
sin
,
death
,
and
hell
,
for
believers
,
and
that
he
was
seen
of
his
Disciples
,
and
others
,
forty
dayes
after
his
Resurrection
,
and
in
their
sight
did
ascend
into
Heaven
,
with
the
same
Body
which
was
Crucified
upon
the
Cross
,
where
he
is
set
down
at
the
right
Hand
of
the
Majesty
on
High
,
and
is
become
a
glorious
Mediator
between
GOD
and
Man
,
being
anointed
of
God
to
be
an
eternal
King
,
Priest
,
and
Prophet
to
the
Saints
,
whose
peace
he
hath
purchased
by
the
Blood
of
his
Cross
:
and
I
believe
that
at
the
last
and
great
Day
,
the
Lord
Iesus
,
when
all
his
Elect
are
gathered
in
,
will
rend
the
Heavens
and
come
down
to
judge
the
World
in
Righteousness
,
when
all
Nations
shall
be
gathered
before
him
,
even
they
that
sleep
in
the
dust
of
the
earth
shall
awake
,
some
to
everlasting
Life
,
and
some
to
shame
and
everlasting
contempt
:
and
I
believe
that
those
which
are
alive
at
the
coming
of
the
Lord
,
shall
be
caught
up
into
the
Clouds
together
with
those
that
were
asleep
in
Iesus
,
to
meet
the
Lord
in
the
Air
,
where
they
shal
sit
with
Christ
upon
Thrones
to
judge
all
the
Hypocrites
,
and
unbelievers
,
to
eternal
damnation
both
of
soul
and
body
in
Hell
,
where
the
worm
dyeth
not
,
and
the
fire
never
shall
be
out
;
and
the
wicked
being
gone
into
everlasting
punishment
,
I
believe
that
the
Righteous
shall
enter
into
Life
eternal
,
where
they
shall
for
ever
be
singing
of
Praises
,
and
Hallelujahs
to
Him
who
loved
them
,
and
washed
them
from
their
sins
in
his
own
Blood
.
These
are
my
principles
,
and
I
trust
the
Lord
will
so
fix
me
in
them
,
that
I
may
never
be
tossed
too
and
fro
with
any
contrary
winds
of
Doctrine
,
as
too
many
in
these
latter
days
are
;
nay
I
am
even
at
this
time
perswaded
by
the
Lord
,
that
I
shal
not
be
l●d
away
by
the
errors
of
the
wicked
,
because
the
Lord
hath
not
only
rightly
informed
my
judgment
concerning
these
things
,
but
hath
also
given
me
good
Hope
,
through
grace
,
that
he
is
my
Father
,
the
Lord
Iesus
having
dyed
for
my
sins
,
and
risen
again
for
my
justification
;
and
this
is
that
which
brings
comfort
to
my
soul
,
and
makes
me
to
rejoyce
,
though
not
seeing
,
yet
believing
,
even
with
joy
unspeakable
and
full
of
glory
;
so
I
doubt
not
but
the
Lord
Iesus
my
dear
Redeemer
,
will
so
support
me
by
his
grace
,
that
whatsoever
my
condition
hath
been
or
shall
be
here
in
this
little
moment
of
time
,
yet
that
I
shall
not
fail
of
salvation
through
Christ
in
heaven
for
ever
,
for
in
him
only
is
my
hope
,
and
I
will
make
mention
of
his
righteousness
;
and
of
his
only
,
who
is
the
Lord
my
righteousness
;
and
therefore
to
him
be
all
the
glory
given
now
and
for
evermore
,
Amen
.
This
confession
of
my
Faith
and
my
Experiences
was
written
in
a
time
of
sweet
peace
:
my
reasons
why
I
writ
them
were
these
1.
Because
formerly
when
I
had
enjoyed
the
sweet
presence
of
God
,
and
been
for
the
time
filled
with
rejoicing
,
yet
when
God
had
withdrawn
the
light
of
his
countenance
from
me
,
I
presently
fell
to
questioning
all
the
dealings
of
God
with
me
,
and
so
dishonoured
God
by
my
unbelief
,
so
that
now
being
under
the
sense
of
love
,
and
being
desirous
for
the
time
to
come
to
glorifie
God
more
in
the
great
work
of
unbelieving
,
I
write
down
my
Experiences
,
hoping
they
may
be
sweet
supports
to
me
in
a
time
of
darkness
.
2.
My
desire
to
treasure
up
the
Experiences
which
I
have
had
of
Gods
goodness
to
me
,
was
●●other
reason
why
I
write
them
,
knowing
●w
apt
I
am
to
let
slip
out
of
my
remem●●ance
that
which
is
good
.
3.
I
have
been
often
called
upon
to
see
that
●y
principles
be
right
,
and
to
make
sure
my
●idences
for
heaven
;
and
therefore
that
I
may
●●stifie
my
obedience
to
God
and
his
Word
,
●nd
that
I
might
increase
my
joy
in
the
Lord
,
●y
believing
more
firmly
what
the
Lord
had
●one
for
my
soul
,
I
set
about
the
work
of
heart-●arching
,
to
see
what
I
could
find
in
me
that
●rought
me
within
the
compass
of
everlasting
●●essedness
;
and
some
things
I
found
,
blessed
be
●he
Lord
,
which
I
thought
was
worthy
to
be
re●orded
,
which
was
hss
own
work
in
me
and
for
me
,
and
therefore
I
write
them
down
,
and
heartily
desire
that
God
may
have
the
Glory
of
his
own
grace
:
for
I
know
that
he
only
hath
wrought
all
my
works
in
me
,
for
of
my self
I
am
not
able
to
think
a
good
thought
,
speak
a
good
word
or
do
a
good
action
.
And
I
trust
that
the
Lord
will
perfect
that
which
concerns
me
,
and
not
forsake
the
work
of
his
own
hands
,
that
so
I
may
be
to
the
praise
of
the
glory
of
his
grace
all
the
days
of
my
life
.
Amen
.
FINIS
.