'T Is a Cisalpine Clod , a Gowty Leg of that Huge Monster the World , a rotten Charnel where the Ganymed's supplant the Layses ; a Nest of Lizards , the Merdaille of Nations , and the Excrement of the Earth . 'T is a Hell , whose Cerberus is a great , old , fat Bear , ( the Host of their [ Innes ] Osteria's I mean , which usually stand alone remote from any village , so that Passengers must rest satisfied with the mean accommodation those Tabernae afford ; for he that seems to disgust their feeble Minestra , may chance to meet with nothing at his Departure but an Allegramente for amends : and if you should menace your Host , he will retort with double insolence , knowing that if his Stilletto should decide the Controversie , the next Church is his Asylum , where no Law nor Violence dare attempt him . Pure Saints ! that can convert the Church of God into a Den of Thieves , and make his sacred Mansion a Shrouding-place or Refuge for Assassines and Murtherers . Besides , you are in continual fear both at Bed & Board , by reason of those hellish snares they usually lay to irretiate and massacre strangers ; so that your delight is entombed in a perpetual horror .

As for the People , they are an execrable residue of the Gothes , the spurious Issue of a salacious Messalina , a meer frippery of Bankrupts ; his Bastards that closed the eye-lids of centoculated Argus . And since they were once preserv'd from the invasion of the Gauls by Geese , they merit praise from none but Gozzelings . There are three things that usually deterr men from visiting this Countrey : The first is the horrible Inquisition . The second , the execrable Outrages committed by the Bandito's . The third , those troublesom Bedfellows the Cimici , Fleas in folio , yet so dainty withal , that they will choose their flesh , and cohabit with the fairest skin ; nay , which is worse , they are very noisom to the nostrils of him that destroys them . What stout Champion can endure the biting or sting of the Tarantula , that kills with laughter , if not remedied ; the consideration thereof is enough to procure death , were there not a hope of resurrection from the cure , viz. Dancing . But there are Arguments almost innumerable of greater solidity and weight , than the praementioned : To instance in a few ( because prolixity is inconsistent with a Character ) The Milaneze will teach you to be Juglers ; the Bolognois , Liars , the Venetian , Hypocrites ; the Neopolitan , will metamorphose you into Satyrs for Lust ; the Florentine instructeth in the Artifice of Poyson ; and Rome implungeth you into an impure Ocean of Idolatry & Superstition .

But now let us take a Survey of their stately Fabricks and Towns , whose native Pens have exalted them to a higher bulk , than ever their Pike-axes intended that first dug their foundation .

And first let us consider Rome , that reputed Mistress of the World , and Metropolis of Italy , whose Encomiums hath devoured more reams of Paper , and drunk up more bottles of Ink , than would repair a decay'd Stationer , and we shall find her to be according to their own Proverb : Nido di tradimento ove si cova , Quanto mal hoggi per ilmondo si trova . A Nest of Treason , where more mischief 's done , Than by all Nations else under the Sun .

That Rome that now usurps the Name , is but her carcase or sepulchre , her vice being the cause of her ruine ; which made Scaliger vent this as bitter as true Jest of her , because the wines of Italy last not long : Urbem illam esse novum ●ncetum pessimum veteris vini optimi ; That it was the worst new vinegar of the best old wine : And indeed it is neither founded in suo solo , nor in su● purissimâ & primitivâ puritate . Once Rome was an Hospital for maimed Soldiers , now a Spittle of diseased Opinions . Her streets of old did shine with triumphing Caesars and Consuls in their trophaeal Chariots , now they glisten with the bald pates of Baals Priests , who lacquey his Petrified Sanctity riding a Cock-horse on mens shoulders . Heretofore she maintained one of the noblest and greatest Garisons the world could boast of ; now she supports her self by the most abominable Stewes that ever the earth bore . Old Rome revenged her Affronts with the point of the Sword , but New Rome steeps her Revenge in a Cup of Poyson , which clearly manifests that old Verse no Paradox : — Romae Omnia cum liceant , non licet esso bonus . — At Rome by haly rood , All things are lawful , except being good :

Nay farther hear but what a Character Mantuanus , an Off-spring of their own , bestows upon her : — Petrique domus polluta fluenti Marcescit luxu ; nulla hic arcana revelo : Sanctus ager Scurris , venerabilis Ara lynoedis Servit ; honoranda Divum Ganymedibus Aedes .

Here Simony and Sodomy , like two impudent Sisters , brazen it in publick , and no one controules them : As to the former , consider this Satyrical Dystick : Vendit Alexander Claves , Altaria , Christum ; Vendere jure potest ; emerat ipse prius . As for the latter , our Modern times have furnished us with too too many instances , so that we may sing with the Poet , and have good reason to prompt us to it : Nunc caput es sceloris , qui caput orbis eras . Thou that wast Mistriss of the world , Into a Sea of Sin art hurld .

'T is a market , where Sins and Pardons are saleable , nay Staple-commodities . A Juglers Shop , whose Master plays finely at fast and loose with Oaths and Vows . A Mill , where the blind and ignorant Laity grind for the fat Clergy . A Magazine where more Scripture is stored , than ever their Maker inspired . A Church that depraves the Text , and pins their Faith upon other mens sleeves . A Slaughter-house , where the Butchers bring in all sorts of persons , and now and then a Monarch . A woman that hath been a Whore all her youth , and now is turn'd bawd to Sin . In fine , she 's a Monopoly of profa●eness , and her Inhabitants wallow in wantonness and impiety .

This City that is founded upon seven hills , is the residence of of that seven headed Hydra , the Pope , and here he doth tyrannize over his submissive Vassals , far more than ever Nero or Caligula . He must not pass without a Satyrick nip , and now I think on 't , I could wish my pen were dipt in Lye and Gall , that I might lash him sufficiently : He it is , yet causeth whatsoever he parrot ( or if you will have it Anagrammatically ) praterlike twattles , to pass for Bullion , and current , though hammer'd in the impure mint of his own Chymaerical Pericranium , and speaks freely whatsoever he thinks without contradictions , so that his Ipse dixit will countervail , and over-balance all the Ergo's in the World : His tongue is confited in Pepper , and hath pierc'd the sides of Christendome more shrewdly than ever Mahomets Sword did : He it is , with his Complices , that maintain Error to get them a maintenance ; He dethrones the Deity , and deifies wood and stone ; yet he is there Deus in Terris , The Dagon which they have set up ; the Idol which they adore , whose indulgences make his Kitehin smoke , by the help of his coadjutars the Jesuites , that fetch him fuel from most parts in Christendom . There is no such Pick-purse under the Heavens as his fictitious Purgatory ; and could mens consciences be as throughly purged as their purses , they would excel the Angels themselves in purity . Another trick he hath that helps him to hill up his fatal riches , and that is the Papal Necromancy , or singing and praying for the dead , which doth so flux the pocket , that contrary to the current of all Phylosophy , it makes them cry out , Datur vacuum . He it is that plays the Chyrurgion , and his Clergy-men are the Apothecaries , that exhibit so many Purges and Clysters to the poor ignorant people , blinded with preposterous zeal , that their purses at length cannot hold out longer , but give up the ghost . Not a day passeth , but they extract fresh Silver ( rare Ecclesiastical Chymists ) from the hot furnace of their Purgatory : And when they find that [ Silver ] Luna shines upon any person with her silver rays , then is the time of singing Mass , and praying for the delivery of Souls ; Not a door , wicket , or window in Purgatory , but 't is then open , that Souls may have as free a passage , and swarm forth as thick as Gnats in August . Pretty devices to engross and monopolize all the wealth to themselves : But you know the old Proverb , Malè parta , malè dilabuntur ; Badly come , badly go : witness Alexander the Sixth , who during his Chairship scrap'd together so much wealth , that his son Caesar Borgia loosing 100000 Crownes one night at Dice , broke out into this expression , Germanorum tantum haec peccata sunt : These are onely the Sins of the Germans ; so that 't is evident what the Father gather'd together with a Rake , the Son spread abroad with a Fork : So that sordid Lucre and Gain is practised by the Clergy , and those of the higher , as well as of the lower sphere : nor can there be perpetrated a Crime , how hainous soever it be , but it falls within the compass of a remedy from his Dispensations , provided the Lady Pecunia be your Suada or Oratress , verifying that old saying , Dulcis odor Lucri ex re qualibet . Take this story for instance : Lubin comes from Bresse to Rome and was intreated by Friar Zeno , to beg his pardon of the Pope for having gelt his Ass : Lubin obtained it , who being returned , he demanded whether he had done him the prementioned favor ; Yes replies he , and to be real with thee , without any farther diffimulation , for a few more Julio's there had been a permission for thee to marry thy Ass , if thou hadst had any fancy or affection to a four-footed Bedfellow . Had Castlehaven been a Catholick , he had kept his head upon his shoulders , and not have been executed for his lechery . 'T was an excellent quip bestowed on a Pope by a Painter , who had made the face in the Effigies of Saint Peter and Saint Paul , somewhat more red then ordinary ; and being demanded the reason , he replied as tartly as suddenly , That they blush'd to see the wicked lives of their pretended Successors . And though I hold it profane ludere cum sacris , yet I judge it recreative jocari cum fabulis ; and if the Consistory of Cardinals should seem to be offended with me , if they chance to light upon this piece , I will bid them reflect upon themselves , and blame the accursed pen of that more accursed Author of the Pruril Asinus , who hath turn'd the sacred pages into scurvy Jests , and not onely abused them that God hath created Gods on earth , but even the Deity it self : If it were possible for the Devil to swive a Witch , their mutual copulation could not produce such a horrid Monstar , as the Author of those Queries . Whereas were a man disposed to sport with the holy Writ , he might pick jest out of every verse in the Bible against the Pope , and his Romish Superstition : Take a moderate one for instance , by way of Question and Answer : It is demanded why St. Peter Wept after his denial of Christ ? Answer . Not for his own fault , but because his prophetick Soul foresaw , that his illegitimate successors should confess the name , but deny the nature of our Saviour , taking him in as it were at the gate , and thrusting him out at the back door : nor indeed can any person qui vel unciolam sane mentis habeat , that can lay claim but to a scruple of rationality , but affirm , that the Pope doth imitate St. Peter in nothing but his denial . I was about to insert here an old latine sentence , though somewhat harsh , and no Ciceronian style ( not but that I durst because I am man●mitted from the rigor of the Ferula ) but lest his Holyness ●hould meet with this piece , and in a holy indignation tear it , and carry it to the House of ease , and so it should scortigare sedem Apostolicam , blister his Apostolick Seat ; to prevent which distemper , lest that blister might turn to a disease call'd the Pyles , incident to the Anus , charity commanded me to omit it . 'T is worth your observation , that the Popes do usually arrogate to themselves the names of those Virtues for Sir-names , which they are most averse from ; as Pius , Benedictus , Clemens , and the like ; when as their whole life is but a continued series of villany and barbarism : So that they have made themselves a Ludibrium to all neighbouring Nations . The Jews laugh at this Ecclesiastical Sultan , and his Sanhedrim of Cardinals , and scoff at his golden Legend , and well may it be term'd so ( not for the purity of the substance , but for the vaste heaps of wealth that those forgeries rake into his Treasury : ) who can but smile at their tales of St. Francis of Hobgoblins walking in Church-yards , and of St. Anthonies being in two places at one time : I know a Gentleman of that name that would give much to be endowed with that property , for his soul is divided between two Wenches ; now were he thus qualified , he might enjoy them both at one and the same time . Nor hath the Pope been withstood by those of a contrary opinion onely , but even by those that are of his own brood , and dedicated to the same Superstition ; for the City of Venice stood it out against Pope Paul the fifth , for the priviledge of her Political Government ; And the King of France after that grand clash between Philipe le Bel ; and Boniface wrote to him very resolutely in these words ; Que ta tresgrande sottise scache ; Let your monstrous sottishness or simplicity understand , that we are subject to none but God ; and utterly disown your Supremacy over us . But I presume we have sate long enough in the Porphyry Chair : And since the Ayr of Rome is so contagious and unhealthful that it wants a Clyster ; besides , all the ink in my pen cannot cure the letters and ringworms of the Popedom , we will leave them , and travel to Naples , which according to their own Proverb is , Un Paradiso piantato da Diavoli , a Paradise peopled with Devils , so pleasant is the place , and so vicious the inhabitant : Here Bacchus hath his inner Cellar , and Veus exerciseth her cortine abominations : for it hath been observed that in Naples at one time there have been registred 30000 Courtizano's ; that for paying some small tribute to the Pope , have had a dispensation to play at Stretch-crupper , Whipper-ginny , Tick-tack , In and In , and such unlawful Games as these , cum privilegio .

Jusque datum sceleri canimus , saith the Poet : which may very well be appropriated to this Kingdom . 'T is a place extreamly populous and consequently vicious , so that he that desires to lead a retired life , must not pitch his tents here : for as their gardens are fill'd with Oranges , so their Houses want not their Lemans . 'T is a Maxim here , that Bawdy-houses are to be tolerated in all their quarters , and 't is ranked in the number of Professions , for the profit that accrews to his Holiness thereby is considerable , so that the true Campus Veneris is now found , where the Campus Martius stood before . 'T is confest that she swarms with Nobility , which are seen to trot about all day long , as fast as Pease boyling in a pot , but of such slender Estates , that accordding to Aretines Observation , three Marquesses were found at once eating Figs off of one tree to keep them from starving : they are swell'd and pufft up with large Titles , but their Acres are but few , & their substance small . Here it was that the Morbus Gallicus , as 't is vulgarly term'd , though more genuinely Scabies Neapolitana , was first known in Christendom .

As for the Inhabitant , he is according to the quality of the Soyl , of a fiery boyling temper , which causeth the Spaniard to ride him with a Bit and a Martingal ; and he hath as many Windmils in his brain , and quick-sands in his breast , as the French , or any other Nation , witness those various Innovations : for in two years , she had no less than five Kings , and those fetcht out of several Countries , in so much that you shall hardly read in any History that ever any political Instrument was so often out of tune , having known popular revolutions in less than four hundred years , and that of Masaniello was the last and most violent , like a candle burning at both ends , so that you would judge the people to be so much distracted , as if they had been stung by a worse Reptile than a Parantula . 'T was strange that this poor inconsiderable Fisherman , with a small handful of boyes arm'd onely with fury and a baston , should be such a nine days wonder , and during that interval of time should ride the proud Neapolitan Courser and snaffle him , til he foam'd at the mouth , their Nobility lay then dormant : and this same redounds very much to the disparagement of the Neopolitan Signiors . But to pass by this , they are born in a Luxurious Countrey , and they are taken to be the greatest Embracers of pleasure , and Courtiers of Ladies , and the most indulgent to themselves of any other nation whatsoever : insomuch that no command from the King , can force a Neapolitan Gentleman to march upon any disigne for three months in Summer till the extremity of the heat be over ; Lecherous they are beyond measure , witness the Accusation of Duke Offura Viceroy of Naples , after he was Italianated .

The fifth Article exhibited against him , was : That he entertain'd the Marchiones de Campolatero publiquely , as his Concubine , to accomplish which designe , he accustomed to send the Marquiss her Husband upon remote employments .

The eighth was , He committed Rapes upon many young Maids and Virgins , and bored a Woman at the very Altar , and had to do with another in the Chancel of St. Maries Church , O horrible ! Convert the Church into a Charnel house ?

Ninth , He frequented Nunneries , not out of devotion , but for recreation , or more significantly procreation , our of profane and sacrilegious ends .

Tenth , He made a feast of flesh upon Maundy Thursday , contrary to the Canons to their Holy Mother the Church , and was never observ'd to keep fasting , but feasting dayes alwaies .

Eleventh , He made other feasts for some of the Principal Courtisanos of Naples , & that in Don Pedro de Toledo's garden , whom he compelled to confess with how many Clergy-men they had traded , and commanded an Inventory of their names to be taken immediatly . Blessed saints ! that disapprove of lawful matrimony , but approve of unlawful meretricious actions : it grieves them to see such pure Nunnes flesh , as they do somtimes , barreld up in penitential pickle , yet for all the pretended strictness of their Religion , they can break a Lent to seed upon them .

Twelfth , He would often ride abroad in the Coach with Juana Maria a Lady of pleasure , that was as common as a Barbers Chair , no sooner one was out , but another was in .

Thirteenth , He had always in his House a Morisco slave , on whom he begat a Bastard , and suffered him to be educated in the Mahume●●n Superstition , and after his decease was entombed according to the Turkish Rites and Ceremonies .

Twentieth , He did innumerable other acts of obscenity and wantonness , as inviting the fairest Concubines into his garden , where he had provided as sumptuous as luscious a Banquet for them , after which he commanded them to strip themselves stark naked ( where 't is to be observed he had a fancy to see the naked truth ) whil'st he with a hollow trunck , shet confits at their naked bodies , which they were to take up standing upon their high Chiappins .

Twenty one , He caused a Barber to strip himself stark naked , and shave his Dutchesses quod ad ha●e , she being likewise naked , and he all the while standing by with a great knife in his hand to cut off his privities , if he found any motion in them all the while : a wretched fellow , and egregious Cox-comb , who deserved to wear a pair of horns that should reach from one end of Naples to the other , and that not a condign punishment for his crime .

O old Rome ! All thy Floralia , wanton Feasts and Games , come far short of those of thy modern issue : no Pagan , Turk , Jew , nor Heathen , ( nay , I 'le be loth to say , Hell it self never entertain'd such a Smell-smock , such a Linnen-lifter , as this salacious he-goat , this wanton Satyr , Duke Ossuna . But lest this discourse should be unwelcome to the chaste ears of the Reader , wee 'l turn our discourse to a more pleasing subject ; And begin with the Peasant , who though he passeth all the week in drudgery and servility , yet is so puft up with vain glory and pride , that on Sunday and Holy-days , he will be sure to have his body well cloath'd , though his belly want furnishing ; and his Wife , that works day and night for a hungry living , will be so pranked up , that if you were unacquainted with the phantastique humor of this mimical people , you would mistake this Joan , for some Lady of repute , and honor in the country : And indeed they are all so highly conceited of their deferts , from the Cedar to the shrub , with their imaginary Revenues , and the Chimera's that they hatch in their brains of their own dignity and Grandeza , that there is not one of them but will speak thousands , rather then betray their indigency : One will sit at his door picking his teeth , and condemning the Capon he eat last , when alas poor despicable wretch ! His throat is an absolute stranger to such dainty Viands ; for a dried morsel of bread , hoary and crusted with a second bark , whose leather'd outside would not court a dog arm'd with the edge of appetite , to eat it , would be adainty bit to cramb his empty gorge . Another will beg in this method : First he looks to see whether the coast be clear , before he will utter one Suppliant syllable , and then he approaches with such submissiveness , as a slave useth to his Patron ; yet if any chance to glance that way with his eye , immediately he retreats to familiarity , pressing the justness of his demands , till he squeezes your Alms ; which if it be a penny , or some such inconsiderable sum ( as they judge so small a piece to be ) he throws it contemptibly in the donors face ; but soon after peaceably looks for it , finds it , and hath the grace to say an Ave Maria , or a Pater Noster for the Benefactor . But now I think we have breath'd the Neapolitan Courser sufficiently , let us turn our Bridle , and travel to Venice ; which is taken to be no other then a Boat , that some Castle doth embarque by the Magick Laws of Urgandus , when he would have sayled to great Albion to visit Amadis , as he did in times of the year : and 't is observable , that the world never produced such unheard of Machiavilian Devices to surprize an Enemy unawares , as the Venetian hath been Author of : for here you may see a Pocket Church-book , with a Pistol hid in the binding , which turning to such a page , discharges a plot to ensnare him to whom they bear a prejudice , whilest at his Devotion , when there is least suspition : Execrable wretches ! that make Gods Word the Cloak to palliate all their Villanies and Murthers .

Another of their infernal Inventions is a pocket Stone-bow , which carried under a Cloak , dischargeth Needles with such violence , that it pierceth thorough a mans body and leaves a wound , whose Orifice is scarcely discernable by the most Eagle-ey'd Chyrurgion .

A third , a Walking-staff in appearance , at the top whereof is a spring , which graspt hard , at the end jets forth a Rapier with force enough to kill a man at a yards distance .

A fourth is a Gun , to be discharged with wind , which for six paces fails not of execution , with little or no report . And give me leave to adde a fifth Knack of theirs , which is their Bergamasque hanging up in the third Chamber of the Grand Dogues Gallery ; being an Invention to lock up female frailty ; an irrefragable Argument of the Italian Jealousie , with which inhumane constraint they do so persecute and prosecute their Consorts back and belly , and so cramp them hip and thigh , that if a poor despicable Crab-louse should chance to be cloyster'd up within these ferraments , he hath not room to breath , and what would become of the poor Flea should it be his fate to be thus confined ? I presume he could not take his frollikish Lavaltors . This Enginery of theirs manifests that they have a care of the hinder , not the forepart , altogether insensible of that old saying , Felix quem faciunt aliorum cornua cautum : Surely those men happy are , Whom others Horns make to beware .

Yet I dare be bold to say , notwithstanding this rigid confinement , that no women of what nation soever , do oftner turn their Husbands back out of the Primmer into the Horn-book , or so often dub them Knights of Acteons order . As for the Venetian Ladies , when their stature is promoted by the artifice of their Chiappines , they look like walking May-poles : And their faylings or fallings in the manner afore-mentioned ( for they are most of them she-Astrologers , and love to lye on their backs , contemplating on the Heavens , remembering what the Turks say , when they celebrate their nuptials , Look upon the Stars , consider their number , and let that be an argument to induce you to multiply : ) 'T is to be imputed to the too too much rigor of their Consorts , and Parents : for the proof whereof let his ensuing Story satisfie you , taken out of their own Annals , and that of no meaner a person then the female issue of one of their gowned and grave Senators , who being cabled up by her Father from humane sight , and confined to the narrow round of a Chamber ( then which no thing thwarts the grain of female disposition more ; for they love to indulge their Genius , and have the swinge of their natural fancy ) had a prodigious birth by her over-familiar Play-fellow , her Dog . To this se●ious Historical truth , give me leave to add a pretty story of an ingenious servant to a more ingenious Master , and that one of the Venetian Grandees ; no other then the Magnificentissime Figlivolo di san Mario , who when his wife was sick , and the Physician was to cast her water , was at a loss for a term to bid her make water , that might both suit with his dignity , and please her fine ears that were absolute strangers to such a foul word , as pissing : The Grand Dogue being somewhat troubled , and wanting a Dictionary to furnish him with a word ; his man reading his distemper in his face , desired to be made sensible of the source of this his distemper , ( for it was water that caused it ) his Master to be rid of his importunate servant , not expecting any satisfaction from his tattle or endeavors , discloses the business to him ; which after he had done , he assures him that he would take it upon him , and find out a way to express his minde by circumlocution , to signifie pissing ; which was thus : He boldly accosts his Lady with the Urinal in his hand , saying , Chara Signora , fate quello che fate dinanzi al cacare . I beseech you , Madam , do that you use to do immediately before you sh— Pardon me Reader , if I offend thy nostrils with this unsavory discourse , for I have it onely by tradition , and you receive it from me , as I read it , so that it is the more excusable , especially in this Characteristical Treatise ; But lest we should too too much presume upon your modesty , we will leave Venice with this unsavory discourse , and come to Padua .

That reputed Nursery of the Muses , and Supportatrix of all Arts and Sciences : and here we must consider their gowned Gentry , which are so horribly debauch'd , that we may safely say they study over the Bottle more then Aristotle , and mind their Plate more then their Plato , so much are they devoted to Bacchus , that they could be content to turn Cyniques , so that with Diogenes they might dwell in the cask when the wine is exhausted , and live by the sent of that wainscored room for the future , nor would they desire any other Tomb , than the Barrel ; or at least they could willingly entreat the Gods condemn them to such a death , as the Duke of Clarence had , viz. to be drowned in a But of Malmsey All the Rhetorick they study , is to perswade the Vintner to credit them till the revolution of the Grand Philosophical year ; nor do they imagine any Figure comparable to that of Synecdoche , to pay part for the whole . To drink beyond measure among them , is the highest of Sciences ; falling backward is their star-gazing ; They delight in no musick , but the sweet harmony of Good-fellowship , with now and then a discord . Wine is their Grammar ; Sobriety a meer Solaecism , and to study before the Pericranium is elevated , is a preposterous heusteron proteron . And when they stand in need of a Physician , a Receipt of full Cups ( in their opinion ) is the best Vomit ; and forgetting of Debts , is their onely Art of Memory . They are Copernicans , and explode all ancient and modern Philosophy , adhering solely to his Tenets ; for they love to deal roundly with the world , because they are never so well learned , as when their heads run round : And thus could I expatiate upon their Encyclopaedia of Sciences , but that I fear in the description of this Circulation , I should prove eccentrique , and draw too long a line from the center of my intentions : But that which is more hainous , is , that Murther is so far from being counted a Venial Sin , that it is no Crime at all , as it should appear by their neglect in executing the Offenders . Their mode is here , to go armed with a pair of Pistols , and a Stilletto by their sides ▪ 'T is strange , methinks , to see Minerva so closely linked to Mars , to finde Students in such a Warlike posture : This custom they say , proceeds from some old inbred Dissention between the Vicentines and the Brescians ; which two contrary parties do so fill the streets with slaughter , that no man can walke securely at night for fear of their Chi va la : And which is a more notorious sign of their Barbarism , on the illars of the Porch or Arches , that run before the House of this City , one may discern where Bullets have passed ; nay , so trivial a business is Homicide among them , that if at any time they are destitute of a Body for the Anatomical Lecture , they make it a business of small consequence to kill a poor Fachin or Cobler , to exercise upon him by Dissection , which proves that Simile of Learning to Scanderbeg's Sword , it either does much good or much hurt : for indeed according to the School Axiom , Corruptio optimi est pessimae , The best Wine makes the sharpest Vinegar ; and good wits once depraved , usually sayl into an Ocean of Debauchery : And such are they that have brought an odium upon Minerva's followers . But we will leave them and their Extravagancies , and strike toward Genoa .

Of which place 't is proverbially said , That they have Mountains without wood , Sea without fish , Women without shame , and Men without Conscience : and it is apparent that their haughtiness hath given occasion to those that are least critical to term it Genoa the proud . As to the nature and disposition of the Inhabitant , he is as lofty as his Building , so proud and gallant in his garb , that 't is reported by those that have been so unhappy as to travel there , that the first night of their arrival into this place , a company of Fidlers ( 't is a favour to call them so too ) come to bid them Welcome with their musick : but with so stately a Prologue , and so grave an Apology for themselves , that all the Gentlemen-strangers withdrew from their Seats , and began to salute them , imagining them no less then Magistrates , or persons of the highest degree . So that a Stranger may soon be deceived , as to their education , if unacquainted with their bladder'd insolency . The most dunghil spirit of them all is swell'd with the tympany of Pride : Who could ever imagine that such inconsiderable fellows as they , that blow away their days in mirth , onely to procure a mean livelyhood , that are slaves to all company , should be so ambitious , as to cloath their drossy bodies in such noble array : well may it be said , that the bark is better then the tree , the external shew and pomp , then the internal substance and solidity . They are all attired a like , somewhat tending to the Spanish mode , and of so haughty a spirit , that they will hardly condescend so far below themselves , as to be associates for strangers . Alphonso king of Arragon was often heard to have this expression proceed from him Rex illiteratus est Asinus coronatus ; An illiterate Prince , is but an Ass crowned . But the Genuesian Lady was of an opinion diametrically opposite unto it : so much did she affect the prick of zeal , had the impudence to affirm publickly , Penna non facit hominem , sed Penis : Not the Pen but the P — qualifies a person : Could any one imagine a Faustina so lecherous as to belch forth such an expression , as hath recorded her for a Lady of pleasure ; so strange it is that it would even stagger the faith of a Solifidian to believe it , were it not inserted in their own Annals , and nothing can carry a stronger condemnation with it , then what proceeds from their own mouths . But we will quit this obscene discourse , and pace it to Florence , to see what matter may be found there conducing to the perfecting of this Character .

And we shall finde that for curious illegal tricks of Poyson , they are damnably wicked beyond all comparison . No Nation in the world so vindicative as they : They will poyson with the smoke of a Candle , the smell of a Candle , or indeed any way imaginable ; some of their poysons are mortal by smelling , others given now , may operate many moneths after ; nay , 't is almost impossible to think that the depraved wit of man should ever machinate such damnable Devices for their mutual destruction , unless they had received assistance from Hell . Some of them will attempt to poyson whole Rivers , and not fail of their design , if they can finde out the source . And even to this day at Milan there stands a pillar that doth stigmatize them , call'd Colonna Infantae , raised where a Magicians house was pulled down , who for a time poisoned all the Rivers belonging to the City ; which stands still as an everlasting monument of perpetual Infamy to them and their Heirs for ever . But lest we should be too much stung with this infectious discourse , we will leave it , and seek for an Antidote in Sicily ; but I fear the remedy will prove worse then the Disease . 'T is a Proverb that bears as much truth as antiquity in the front of it . Omnes Insulanos esse malos , pessimis verò Siculos . All Islanders are bad , but the Sicilians are worst of all . They are very inconstant , and wavering like a Weather-cock , and you may as soon cut out a Kirtle for the Moon , as disswade them from their volatil humor ; so that hence arose the Proverb , Gerra Sicula : Sicilian prittle-prattle , according to the pretty tattle of our infancy : Besides , they are of a very envious , suspicious , and destructive temper , uncapable of receiving an injury , and furiously vehement in the pursuit of revenge , as appears by that great and inhuman massacre they made of the French , known by the infamous name of Vesperi Siculi , where an infinite number of French were most barbarously butchered at the sound of a Bell : An irrefragable Argument of their prepens'd malice , that would not allow them a sufficient time time for Repentance . Pluto is deeply engaged to the Sicilian , and the Milaneze , for their true and faithful vassalage unto him ; for it seems by all History , that it is their sole design to people his dominion , and adde as many slaves to his infernal Scepter as possibly they can . You have had an instance in the Sicilian , 't is pity you should want one of the hellish Milaneze , who meeting a quondam friend of his in a place convenient for his barbarous design , and bearing him some grudge , through the rancor of his spirit for some former , onely supposed injury offered unto him , set a knife to his throat , and bid him abjure God , or he would make him sup with Pluto that very night , or if you will have it more plainly expressed , murder him , which the man attended with human frailty , ( as all are , ) and somewhat terrified at the name of death 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , as the Philosopher calls it , did ; which after he had thrice done , he dispatcled him , and like an insulting Hell-hound immediatly after this execrable murther triumphed , saying , That he had sent both soul and body to Hell with one fatal blow : Such unheard of inhumanity , what History can paralel ? No nation under the Sun , in my judgement can be so diabolical : But let us commit them , and all their actions to their Master , bellowing Belzeebub , who beyond all controverfie will in time pay them their wages .