And as they are of various kinds , I shall first Commence with what we call a Nice , Affected Beau : One , who from Ten till Twelve , receives Visits in Bed , where he lyes most magnificently with a long Perriwig neatly laid over the Sheets , extravigantly powder'd , and exactly curl'd ; when the Clock has struct Twelve , that his two hours are expir'd , he begins to rise , and with much ado , about Three is drest , which we must allow to be but a very small time , considering how many little phidling insignificant things he has to adorn himself withal ; as perfuming his Cloaths , using Washes to make his hands white , beautifying his Face , putting on two or three little Patches , soaking his Handkerchief in Rosewater , powdering his Linnen , which he pretends so stink of Sope , he 's not able to bear it ; and chiefly tying on his Cravat , which perhaps is done and undone a dozen times , before it sets with an Air according to his Mind . Between Three and Four he Dines , and his constant Food is either a Chicken , a Rahbet , a Partridge , or for variety , a little fresh Fish ; Mutton , Beef , Pork , or Veal , being too strong for his nice Stomach , and sitter for the grosser and more robust sort of Mortals , as he styles ' em . About Four he bids his Dog call a Chair , and away he marches to the Chocalate-House , where he affirms himself to be a Wit ; and is frequently chringing into Company , though he knows himself not in the least acceptable ; continually interrupting others more serious Discourse , to force out his dry Jests , which are always Foolish , if not downright Nonsense , and never move any body but his own insipid Self . But his chiefest aim is , to converse with the Poets , and be of their Society ; to be familiar with 'em , and ( if he can ) a Cronie ; that when occasion serves , he may make use of their Brains for a Song , or a Copy of Verses on such a Ladies Beauty , which he swears ( when conversant with the Ladies ) to be his own . By that time he has spent an hour at Will's , or the Chocolate-House , 't is almost time for the Play ; and having put himself in Order , adjusted his Cravat and Wig , and daub'd his Face with Snuff , he very soberly enters the House ; first in one side Box , then in t'other ; next in the Pit , and sometimes in the Galleries , that the Vulgar sort may as well behold and admire the Magnificence of his Apparel , as those of Quality : Before the Play's half done , whip he 's at t'other House , and being in the Pit , between every Act leaps upon the Benches , to show his Shape , his Leg , his Scarlet Stockings , his Meen and Air ; then out comes a Snuff-Box , as big as an Alderman's Tobacco-Box , lin'd with a bawdy Picture , and the Hand 's very gracefully lifted to the Nose , to shew the length of its Fingers , its whiteness , its delicacy , and the Diamond Ring ; and having play'd a few Monkey Tricks , the Musick ceases , and the Gentleman descends , bowing this way , that way , and t'other way , that the Ladies in the Boxes may take notice of him , and think him a Person of Quality , known and respected by every body : Then , while the Play's Acting , he turns his Back to the Stage , as disregarding such Nonsense ; and crying , Damme , here 's a dam'd Play ; then speaking to a Masque , Madam , says he , How can your Ladayship sit it ? Why , Sir , says she ? Methinks 't is very tolerable : O ged Madam ! no , the Devil take me if I cou'dn't write a more tolerable one ex Tempore : But if she still persists to commend it , and will needs confute him , as O dear Sir ! I 'm sure you wrong your Judgment now , this Scene is very pretty , and witty ; then the Fop complies a little , and ; with a simple Grimace , He ! He ! Why faith , Madam , this is indifferent , though if such a thing had been out or in , 't wou'd ha' been much better ; still criticising , and pretending to amend what he does not understand : When an Hour or two's spent there , he goes to the Park , and , creeping to a Lady , O Madam , I 'm almost suffocated ; stop my Vitals ! the Smoak of London is unsufferable : How does your Ladyship find it ? yet , not permitting her to Answer ; O Madam , renounce me , if I am not ready to expire ; your Ladyship's most humble Servant : Then the same Stuff to another , always endeavouring to speak Fine , and Unintelli●ibly ; and , not being Master of his own Language , intermixes it with Bombast Latine , and scraps of French , that the Ladies may take him for a Man of Parts , and a true Linguist : When he has pretty well wearied himself with that Diversion , he walks to some Lady's Lodgings in Pell-Mell , or St. James's Square ; where he spends three or four Hours at Ombre , or Tick●ack , and so Home again .

Another sort of Beau , is what we generally style a Hector , or Bully-Beau : One , who having no Estate to subsist on , is sorc'd to live by his Wits ; yet is a Man of Mode , and strives to be soon in every new Fashion , as well as the former , though in every respect , not so extravagantly Tawdry , and Affected ; most of these , though they 'd be accounted Men of Fortune , and Reputation , Persons of great Honour , Vertue , Merit , and Esteem , yet are glad to Pimp and Sharp about the Town to get a Penny ; this Man , by his over Industry , having a little good Breeding , or some other taking Quality about him , insinuates himself into some Countess's Favour , who having a Husband not capable of doing her Reason , secretly entertains him for her Stallion ; that Man turns down-right Pimp , and undertakes to help Men to Whores , and Whores to Cullys ; and if he can but procure a pretty Wench for an old Letcherous Alderman , it may be worth to him sometimes , at least , a hundred Guineas ; then he may Swear , be Drunk , scowre the Streets , knock down Watch-men , and break Windows with as much Authority as e're a Lord in the Kingdom ; t'other Man being a more subtle , crafty Rogue , slily watches his Hits , and hires Men to give him Intelligence of what raw Heirs , who have more Money than Wit , are lately come of Age , and how he shall get acquainted with 'em ; so , by his false Dice , and other juggling Tricks , he finds an opportunity to make his Fortune out of theirs : These are a kind of Bully-Beaux ; though a Hector or Bully Beau , in general , is one who bilks Coaches , runs from Taverns without paying the Reckoning , forces into Play-Houses gratis ; and , though a damn'd Coward , drawing his Sword , and quarrelling with every Body ; but to be sure , either in the Park , at the Play-House , or some other open populous place , where he knows he shall be parted : And , having consum'd great part of his Money at ●a●dy-Houses , and Tennis-Courts , sneaks in at Night at the Royal-Oake-Lottery in Suffolk street , lays two or three Sixpences upon Quarters , and by that means spunges a Supper .

A Third sort is , a Country-Beau : One , who having been bred up in Ignorance , and from his Infancy led a retir'd Country Life , and consequently unacquainted with the Tricks and Cheats of the Town , comes to an Estate before he is ripe of Understanding : No sooner the Old Dad's laid in the Ground , but the young Squire , considering the greatness of his Estate , that he 's at his own disposal , may do what he will , say what he will , and go where he will , without being check'd , or reprov'd by any body , has an itch to be Rambling ; and having wash'd his Face with Milk and Water , put on his best Leather-Breeches , ty'd at Knees with red Taffety , his new blew Jacket , and his grey Coat , with Buttons no bigger than Nutmegs , and smugg'd himself up very handsomly , takes his best Nag , and Gallops up to London ; where he is very kindly receiv'd by the Bully-Beaux , who laid wait for him before hand : He return'd their Complements to the best of his Ability , and is over joy'd at their Friendship ; thinking it no Scandal , but rather an Honour , to correspond with such fine well drest Gentlemen , little imagining their Policy ; they embrac'd him with all the Love and Candor imaginable ; and say , they desire no greater Felicity , than to be esteem'd his Friends . First , they carry him to Westminster to see the Tombs , then on board the Folly , next to Spring-Garden , and to Billingsgate to eat Oysters , Treating him very highly , and not permitting him to pay a Farthing ; sometime after he goes to a Play , and is mightily taken with that Sport ; but seeing the Beaus there so gaily drest , he begins to think his Cloaths not so fine and fashionable , as they shou'd be , and is very ambitious of equalling ' ern , knowing his Means sufficient to afford it ; the Bully Beaus , his true hearty Friends , and Comrades , supply him with all Necessaries , teach him a little Breeding , buy him a noble long Wigg , and all still at their own Costs ; he is amaz'd at their Civility , and knows not how to Recompence 'em : When he has revel'd away three or four weeks , and is become intimate , and very familiar ; one of his trusty Companions makes a motion to take a Game at Hazard , for Evenings being long , they know not how to waste their Time ; he is pleas'd at the motion , but objects , he does not understand the Came ; they are very ready and willing , being a particular Friend , to instruct him ; so having him once safe in their chutches , make his Pocket pay for all the Treats , and an unaccountable Summ of Money besides ; my Country Beau begins to smell a Rat , and has an Inclination to return home ; they are mightily disturb'd , and griev'd at it , sorry he would leave 'em , and hop'd they shou'd soon have him again ; but the Spark sinding out their deceit , and having sold his best Gelding , Mortgag'd his Estate , and it 's like got the Pox by the Whores those Fellows brought him to , fairly and soberly trots down again , upon a Carriers Horse , repenting of his Folly , and resolving to do Pennance for his past Luxury .

A Fourth sort , is a City Beau , the greatest part of which , dwell in Pater-Noster-Rom ; I mean the Mercers Apprentices , and some of the Masters ; Fellows , who , when any new Gawdy Silk is invented , and design'd for a Fashion ; to be sure make themselves Wastcoats of it first , that Folks may take example by them , and they may be the first in the Mode ; to which they commonly add , a black Coat and a pair of white Stockings ; but above all , a light colour'd bob Wigg , very well powder'd ; being thus accouter'd , more like Actors then any thing else ; they stand half a dozen hours at the Door , with their Coats open , that Folks passing by , may see their fine Wastcoats ; and when a Gentleman buys any Silk , they cry , pray Sir let me advise you to this Piece , 't is the prettiest you ever saw ; pray Sir , take my word for 't , there 's not such a Silk again , in the whole Row ; it ha'n't been made above these three days , and I so admir'd it , that you see I have made my self a Wastcoat on 't : But I shall pass by those Whoring Fellows , as not worth my speaking of ; Whoring said I ! Ay! Whoring , Lewd , Vitious , Debauch'd , Drunken Fellows . Are they so ? No wonder then the Sempstresses flock thither in such Numbers .

A Fifth sort , is a Spruce Beau , otherwise call'd a Lawyers Clark : One , who , when his Master , on a Saturday Night , is slipt to Epsom , to take a mouthful of Air , and play a Game at Bagg Gammon with the Parson , dresses himself to the best advantage , powders his Hair , and his Coat to the middle of his Back ; and putting on his white Gloves , a Patch on his right Cheek , and the Brass hilted Sword , which he , and his Fellow Clark , Dash , joyn'd for last Bartholomew Fair ; marches up Fleet-street , with his clean white Handkerchief hanging half way out of his Pocket , that he may look careless forsooth ; and by the way , meets with one of his old Comrades , who cries , How now Jack-Scrible ? Where a pox are you going so Sparkish ? I vow you are a compleat Beau , a mear Beau as I live ; the Fool waggs his Head , smiles , and sets his Cravat right , and is extreamly pleas'd you afford him the Title ; parting with his Friend , he steers his course to the Play ; where he is commonly seen in the 18 d . Gallery , at the two last Acts : These are what sort of Beaus I can at present think off ; when I see what Reception these meet with , I shall furnish the Town with some more , for such Monsters are plentiful enough .

THE Character OF A JACOBITE .

THE Laws of this Land being so well Established by his present Majesty , King William ; the Liberties we enjoy under him being so many , and the Love and Affection which our Sovereign bears us being so great , 't is almost a Miracle that any Person can be a Jacobite , especially one who resides in this Kingdom ; where , by all Men of Sense , Religion , or Understanding , he knows himself so much contemn'd and dispis'd .

Yet as there are different Sectaries , both reasonable and foolish , we must allow Jacobitism to be one , but certainly the most foolish in Nature ; and I shall endeavour to expose it to the best of my Ability , both Edisication , and Diversion ; First then for Edification .

There are a Factions , Disloyal , Seditious sort of People , who have scatter'd themselves up and down this Nation , to insinuate into Mens Minds a good Opinion of the late King James , and wou'd fain perswade 'em , that he was unlawfully dethron'd ; and that King William has no Right to the Crown , but is a Usurper , which is on both sides apparently false ; and every sensible and juditious Man must needs own , First , That King James was uncapable of Ruling in a Protestant Realm , having apostasiz'd to Popery : And then , that his now Majesty coming to our Succour , endangering his Life for our Sakes , and assisting us to recover our Liberties , when we were at the brink of Ruine , is Rightfully , and Lawfully adjudg'd King ; and 't is but his Merit : For who better deserves a Crown , and to have Authority over a People , than he who delivers 'em from Slavery , restores 'em to their Rights and Customs , preserves their Religion ? And by his unparallel'd Valour , subdues all their Enemies . Though by their leaves , our now Monarch , and our late Queen , were no Usurpers ; neither did they desire the Crown , but were sollicited to accept it ; though if they had , 't was nothing but their Real , True , undoubted , and undeniable Due , the Queen being Eldest Daughter to King James , and next Heir , notwithstanding that upstart Brat , the pretended Prince of Wales . And though King James is not dead in Person , yet he is dead in Law , the Decrees of Parliament having render'd him unable to act ; and therefore 't is but requisite that another should succeed him as tho' he were actual dead ; especially when he ran away , and left the Throne vacant . Yet these Jacobites , who with so much Vigour stand up for their Old King , and strive to vindicate his Cause , pretend to be Protestants ; and say , that though their Religion is dearer to 'em than their Lives , yet their Consciences cannot permit King James , though a Papist , to be Abdicated Stupidity ! that any Man who professes Protestantism , can love a Popish Ruler : Nay , who was not only a Papist , a Promoter of Popery , but an Enemy to the Protestant Religion ; as his Actions , his suffering so many Priests and Jesuits , his Erecting such a number of Mass-houses , and his cruel and inhumane Usage to those who were averse to his Opinion , and Institutions , plainly demonstrates . Rediculous absurdity ! and can be compar'd to nothing but this , that a Man who cries , I love my Liberty , my Pleasure , my Freedom , my Ease , and yet adore him who molests me , blocks me up , persecutes me , and unjustly puts me in Prison . No , no , they are no Protestants ; Protestant is a Fallacy , a bare Name , they are Fergusonians , that is , any thing , Protestant , Presbyterian , Papist , Mahometan , Independant , Anabaptist , of any Religion whatsoever , with which they may cloak and smother their Villanies , Treasons , and malitious Intentions ; and by being of so many Religions , manifestly show , they are of no Religion . These are a sort of Seditious busie Rascals that are so prejuditial to a Government , and 't is but his Majesties too much Clemency , that brings 'em to such a height of Impudence .

Another sort of Jacobites are those , who live by the late King James , and depend altogether on his Court ; so , for their Livelyhoods sake , were forc'd to depart the Kingdom with him , though the greatest part left their Hearts behind 'em : These we ought rather to pity , than punish , being , many of 'em , antiently Protestants ; and by him , and his Priests , seduc'd into the Papal Opinion : Yet notwithstanding their great esteem for their King , which was only for their private Ends , they have found their Sallery in France so small , and so ill paid , that most of 'em have begg'd leave to return to their Native Country ; and I question not , but in a short time , he 'll be quite destitute of Attendants .

A third sort of Jacobites are those , who are not content to rail against the King and Government , to Compose , Print , and Publish their scurrilous , false , and malitious Libels and Pamphlets ; but endeavour to deprive our Monarch of his Life , as the late Horrid Plot can testifie ; being a too dreadful Example of their intended Villany . But why do they so ? To what end wou'd they commit such Outrages ? Why ! they tell you , because the King admits not of their Religion . What is their Religion ? a quere very difficult to be answer'd . What Religion suffers such Inhumanities ? What Religion countenances such Barbarities , to murther Kings ? Nay , and in cool Blood ! Subvert a State , and enslave a People ? None . Why then do they act thus ? Why ! For Lucre . They are Ruffins , Barbarians , Atheists , who believe there will be no Judgment , so fear no Punishment , but will perpetrate any Villany for a Reward . This sort of Jacobites is the most pernicious to the State , of all ; and ought carefully to be rooted out , that the King may Live , and be Happy ; the Subjects Prosper ; and Virtue , Piety , and Honesty , florish amongst us , and endure to Perpetuity . But now for a little Diversion .

A Fourth sort of Jacobites , are the Beaus ; Ha! ha ! ha ! they Jacobites ▪ What those Asses , who mind nothing but Witt , Dressing , and going to Plays : those capering Jack-puddings , who throughout the Year don't read a Gazette ? Prithee , Why are they Jacobites ? why ! because 't is the fashion ; the Ladies at t'other end of the Town are generally Jacobites ; so they are under an Obligation of being so too , lest they disoblige 'em ; for if the Ladies discard 'em , they may go hang themselves , their Felicity altogether depending on their Smiles , and corresponding with 'em ; being a Crew of Effeminate , Self-admiring Fools , not fit for the Society of Men : Nay , truly a Man of Sense wou'd scorn to be seen in a Beaus Company , 't would be a scandal to him to converse with such Apes , Wax Babies , who 's gre●test Ambition is to have the gaudiest Sword-string , or the best powder'd Wigg . Monkeys who aim at nothing but Affectation , and smart Repartees , and value themselves chiefly upon their Cloaths . Silly , insignificant Fools , who are always composing Lampoons , and striving to ridicule other Men , little considering an insipid Lampoon , or Panygerick upon another , is a more severe Libel upon themselves . The Age is quite another thing now , then what it was in old Times : In antient days the Philosophers were esteem'd Wise and Learned , for having long Beards . Men and Women were ador'd like petty Gods and Koddesses , for wearing gay Silks , Gold , and great Stocks of Jewels : But now the only way to know a Fool , is by his fine Garb . A modest sober Man minds his interiour parts , more then his exteriour ; yet goes neatly , mixt with a little Gentility , though not Extravagancy : No powder'd Coat , Buttons like Tennis-balls ; a patch on his Nose , broad Silver Loops , like an Actor in the Play-House ; and when he walks , sink and cope , as though he danc'd the Corant or Minuet : And speaking , cryes , Dam me , at every word . What ridiculous Monsters are these ! Fellows that never pass the Streets , but attract the Eyes of more People , then a Merry Andrew upon a Mountebank Stage . Yet , though they see they are laugh'd at , are not daunted in the least , but take a pride to frequent the most populous Places , where they know they shall be most stair'd at . But to return to my former Discourse ; the Women I say , aiming at that modish Name , Jacobite , enjoyn the Beaus to do the like ; and when they are in Company with 'em , will often start up this question ; as , well Sir Novelty , Who are you for , King James , or King William ? He having so much Sense to know the Lady 's for James , placing him first , crys , O God , Madam ! I 'm a Jacobite . Ay , indeed Sir , says she , I 'm o' your Mind ; the Williamites are such slovenly Fellows , — O! Pox take 'em , Madam , nauseous Puppies , I loath the Name of 'em ; I 'm a true Jacobite . Stop my Vitals ! King James has promis'd me a Collonels Commission to secure his Throne for him , when he comes over . But credit me , if James provides no better Collonels and Captains than they , to assist him in the recovery of his Throne , he 'll never come over , nor have occasion for those Nincompoops to secure it for him . But these Fops , who are such violent exclaimers against King William , are as good Williamites , when the Company they are with are so , as the best ; they are always conformable to the Society they are in , lest they should occasion a quarrel : For , tho' they are confounded Hectors , yet are as confounded Cowards ; and though two Beaus , when they meet , are commonly quarreling and damning , yet one 's as fraid to draw his Sword , as the t'other's afraid he shou'd : But 't is time to conclude , tho' the Subject is copious enough for a Sheet more . If this please , it may perhaps excite me to some other such-like Undertaking .