YOu have serv'd me but two days , and are you weary already ?

Pray add the nights to the days ; for I have not slept since I came into your service .

Love has ordain'd us for these Journeys ; and will , I hope , bring us at last where we may rest quietly .

Yes , to the last Inn of all Travailers , where we shall meet Worms instead of Fleas ; Lovers never rest quietly till they lodge at the sign of the Grave .

P●ithee be patient Laura .

If I had been waiting-woman to Will of the Wisp , I could not have wander'd with so much uncertainty as when I follow a Mistress led about by Love .

But , Laura , I follow you now .

You may with ease enough when I 'm so tir'd that I can go no farther ; this is the pretty Foot belonging to a Leg ; which ( though I say 't ) was fit to lead a Dance in Hymens Hall .

And does it limp now , and grow weary of the errands of two days .

Take heed , Laura ; I see light .

Why , what would you see , darkness ? are not your eyes made for the light ?

'T is a Man ; He seems to seek some body with a Lanthorn .

He seeks me here by appointment .

I 'l retire to this Portico .

Doe , whilst I accost him .

What is he ?

'T is Sancho , Don Ferdinando's Steward ; he was my sworn Brother over a Possit , he is by the length of his Beard and the heat of his Constitution , a very Goat .

For Heaven's sake lose no time .

You need not fear his loss of time ; I use to call him my Brother-Brevity ; He is so thrifty of his speech , that his Tongue does seldom allow his thoughts above two words to express them .

Laura !

Are not you my Brother Sancho ?

I am .

Have you contriv'd a way to conceal my Lady in your Masters house ?

Yes .

Can you admit her now ?

No.

May it be to morrow ?

It may .

I 'l attend you in the morning .

Doe .

Pray name the hour .

Nine .

My Mistriss is very sensible of your care , and would know if I may have leave to give you this Gold ?

You may .

Neither .

Are we both acceptable ?

Both. — He looks on the Gold .

'T is very Gold ; and Signior Sancho you shall find me to be as true metal as it .

I 'l try . — Offers to kiss her .

Not so soon , good Signior Sancho , Bring me to the Wedding night , and then try if , like Gold , I can endure the touch .

Humph! —

Lovers may pretend to have true Metal , but Mariage is the Touch-stone .

Of Fools . aside .

Hands off , good Signior Sancho . You want sleep , Good night , Pray let me go . —

Passe . — Exit Sancho .

Come , Madam , we may hasten home , Nine is the appointed hour when you shall have admittance .

After I have sought opportunity , I am afraid to find it .

Madam , I do not yet understand your intrigues of Love . You are afraid to find the opportunity you seek , and I , poor wretch , seek more opportunities than I fear I shall find .

Lord help thee , ! thou dost want a great deal of sorrow to make thee a little wise . Exeunt .

Sir , by your favour , you are either mad , or the Devil is malicious to bring you to Madrid , at so unseasonable an hour , after riding post , or rather flying , without meat or drink , as empty as wild Hawks , and as uncertain of your Quarry .

I confess thou maist be tir'd all over , all but thy Tongue , and that can never be weary . The Street where we are now , is that which I have sought .

What will you do here , go see Don Ferdinand when 't is past Midnight ?

Yes , and this very night I 'l visit Isabella .

'T is ill to have an empty stomach , but worse to have an empty head .

Remember 't is past One , a season when Don Ferdinand's Gates are always shut : we have ridden this morning from Burgos . I know no kind of Lovers but Owls would have chosen the night for a journey .

To love nothing but sleep and eating is to be a Beast in the habit of a Serving-man .

How I hate raillery ?

And I eating and sleep , in comparison of this Picture of Isabella .

You are one of those who are fill'd with wild-fire at sight of a cold Picture ; and if Master Painter , has luckily drawn a Snout of Ivory and a Mouth of Coral , which perhaps does inclose an ill Tongue and worse Teeth , then he makes you mad of a Mistress ; Will a Picture reveal whether her crooked body be arm'd with a Coat of Mail , or whether she be some Skeleton whose Beauties lie at night upon her dressing-cloth ? you 'l not be much pity'd if men find you ill provided of a Woman , since you 'l be gull'd with one before you have seen her .

Thou art as froward at this time o' th night as a wak'd Child .

Wou'd any Man keep patience about him when he must run in the dark from Street to Street , and grope out his way like a blind Man without a Dog ? or stand so long under a Balcone ( lifting himself upon one leg to stare higher about him ) till he shift his feet as often as a Stork ?

Todelet !

Don John . !

My Picture was rarely drawn : and sure it could not chuse but please my Mistriss .

I know the contrary .

What sayst thou ?

I tell you it has rather displeas'd her .

How the Devil canst thou know that !

Alas , I know it too well .

Hah ! tell me how ?

Traitor , 't is well thou dost not use to speak truth , for else I should search for thy life in the very bottom of thy Bowels .

You may , Sir , and begin as my Throat : But in piercing my body , I pray spare my Doublet for I made it new at Burgos .

Pox of your Railery , Tell me what thou hast done ?

Sir , put your anger up first .

I never had so much cause to let it out , But speak , and let not Fear fright Truth from thee .

Sir , when we left Flanders —

Well proceed .

You having your Brother ki●l'd , and a Sister carried away by stealth ( not knowing where , nor how , nor wherefore , nor by whom ) you rode so fast that you left all your judgement a great way behind you .

To what purpose , Villain , dost thou open these two wounds ? proceed apace to thy Picture .

Sir , I go as fast as I can ; but your anger interrupts me so , that I 'm fain sometimes to go back to recover my Tongue , though I have nothing within me but what is much to the purpose .

Why dost thou not render it in few words ?

I cannot , Sir , for I always speak things in order , but for your Picture which I had e'n forgot —

Was ever Man so tir'd with the tedious length of nothing ?

We were but newly return'd to Castille when Don Ferdinand de Rochas propos'd his Daughter to you in Marriage : her Picture was made a Present to you , and the offer of Twenty thousand Crowns in portion , and then you ( t'inchant her with your own Picture as much as you were charm'd by hers ) made haste to send her it : and so , as the Proverb says , put an old Cat to an old Rat. It was a Lovers stratagem , and villanously subtle . But Heav'n ( not always a Friend to Lovers ) ordain'd a success in spite of expectation .

Art thou about the History of the World ; and wilt thou not finish it till the World ends ?

Yes , Sir , but I must refresh my memory , for it is almost weary .

I would thy Tongue were so too .

You remember that your Painter ( in thankfulness for the great reward you gave him ) wou'd after he had drawn your Picture , take a little pains about mine .

I know that : but proceed .

Then you likewise know it cost me nothing , Well , that Flemming's a brave man . None of your Jan Van Lievens , nor your Elshamers , nor your Brauwers , nor your Joes Van Winghens ever drew like him . Then give him but a Rummer , over a Pickell'd Herring , and he will drink so kindly , as if he had the Heart of a Whale .

Wilt thou never conclude ? hast thou sold , burnt , eat , or drank my Picture ? Have I it yet , or was it sent to Isabella ? speak and be quick !

If you have not patience to stay awhile rather than hear ill news , but will needs ride Post to overtake the Devil , I will leave Flanders and goe the nearest way to the purpose .

Still wilt thou be tedious ?

Nay , Sir , since you love unwelcome brevity , know when I was to send away the last Packet , I would ( being a little curious ) compare the workmanship of my Picture with yours . I set them opposite to one another , turning my Eies often from this to that , and being call'd for in haste by the Post-Boy , I put my little Picture in the Packet instead of yours !

How ? yours instead of mine ?

Sir , your Picture had the happy laziness to stay here ; but mine was destin'd to ride Post with the Devil to your Mistress .

Canst thou live , or I either , after I have heard this ?

Good Sir , make use of patience as I did . Time , which wears out sorrows as well as joys , has since th' unhappy accident given me a few quiet nights , and I have ceas'd to grieve for fear of being sick .

Dog ! what will she say of thy horn-face , and of thy Badgers Nose ?

Alas , Sir , she will not think you very handsome , I mean in my Picture ; but if we were both our own Painters we should not want Beauty .

Peace , there comes one who perhaps knows Don Ferdinand's house , Goe , ask him .

Well , speak low .

Perhaps he●l expect a reward if he tells us . In Madrid you must hold out your Money if you do but ask what 's a clock ?

Unlucky Rogue , wou'd he would cudgel thee .

He has not leisure to do it ; he seems in haste .

Who goes there ?

Not to displease you , Sir , where dwells Don Ferdinand ?

This is his house .

Are we in the right already ? for this bout my Master has reason , the Father-in-law is found ; and the Son-in-law-elect has nothing to do but to knock .

I begin to find my self a Fool for having shew'd them where my Master is secretly enter'd , and whence I expect he 'l presently come forth ; I must find some expedient .

Does he dwell here ?

Yes , but he is sick , and does not love noise , what are you ?

We , Sir , are Night-walkers ; or rather men of Norway , a Norhern-Countrey where he is curs'd , who does not sleep continually , for my part I never sleep ; and that 's my Master , Sir , the greatest waker in the World .

Or rather the greatest Robber . He shall give me satisfaction for what he lately took from me ; I know him well enough , and you were with him .

You are very chollerick , and I think somewhat mad . If I were so too , you would have little safety but in flying . Sir , as sober as I am , I can scarce keep my hand from my hilt .

Sir ! Sir ! advance a little , I begin to grow soft , and were it not dark , I should appear somewhat pale too .

Approach Sir , come on towards me . I 'l make you civil .

How ! Don of the dark ? are you so brisk ? but I shall take the pains to drive you a mile hence : for though you are Two ( wou'd I were rid of 'em ) if you dare follow me as fast as I 'l lead the way , ye shall come to a better place for fighting .

Say you so , Sir ? I 'l follow you , stay ! I hear a noise . It seems to be above us .

Pox on this chollerick Curr ! if his barking had not frighted me , I had , perhaps , without any danger , broke his very bones : but whence the Devil comes that other Devil ? Don Lewis descends from the Balcone .

Stephano !

They are going .

Sure that 's his Man whom he calls : he who gets way before us .

Either I am much cousen'd , or I am watch'd . But the noise of a quarrel will fright Isabella . In care of her I must neglect my honour . Let 's steal away , since it must be so .

Stay , or thou art dead . Stay but one thrust .

My Master has mettal , but I 'm no Touch-stone to try it on .

Give me thy name , or I 'll take thy life .

I am Don Todelet of Segovia .

Three curses on thee , and a thousand on him that leapt from the Balcone . What 's become of him .

He flew through the dark like Lightning , and I like a furious Fool , follow'd him like Thunder , till the invisible Rogue threaded a Lane as narrow as a Needles Eye . Well , I 'm the Hercules whom you alwayes expose against Two . You are a little prompt , but , by your leave , Master ; is it the Custome of Madrid to scape thus out of a Windore ?

Did'st thou perfectly discern him ?

Yes .

I am amaz'd .

And I , if it were possible , am quite confounded .

I must not here take up a quarrel at the first bound .

Methinks your mind is a little troubled .

It is ; and I have much cause , but let 's consult upon 't .

That 's well said ; I never found my self so much inclin'd to reasoning , and , if you please , let 's consult soundly .

I was born at Burgos ; left poor , but of a long race exempted even as far as my self , from all disgraces .

Very well .

At my return from the Warr to Burgos , I found my self attacqu'd with two different Evils . I had a Brother murder'd and was rob'd of a Sister ; though she was bred with all the cares of honour . And this makes me exceeding chollerick .

That 's ill , very ill , exceeding ill .

D. Ferdinand chose me for a Husband to Isabella ; and she has receiv'd thy Picture instead of mine .

That 's not very ill .

We treated of this bus●ness in secret ; and I took horse for Madrid , where I now arrive late at night .

That 's a little ill .

Without seeking out a Lodging my love leads me directly hither .

That 's a little too soon .

I met before Don Ferdinands House a Serving-man who thrusts me , by design , upon an Almain-quarrel .

That 's very true , but somewhat unwillingly , like a Coward as he is .

Perhaps 't was for fear of scandal ; for he did not approach us like a Coward .

How did the unlucky Thief come then ?

He came on like the Lover of Isabella .

That 's very ill .

'T is that which will wound my head more than his sword .

Let 's fall to reasoning agen .

Ah! no more reasoning , when reason grows superfluous . But prithee mark the counsel which Love suggests to me . My hope lies in thee . To morrow , my dear Todelet , thou must pass for my Master , and I for the Man . Thy Picture is to work Miracles . What ayl'st thou ? dost thou shake thy ears ?

These kind of disguises smell too much of the Cudgel . I 'ld rather proceed to reasoning agen . For what will the world say ? Don John is grown the Man , and Todelet the Master , and by ill fortune too ; for perhaps , at last , your Mistress may love me , and I her .

Fear not that ; for then the mischief will be mine : but I , being Tod'let , may get acquainted with my Rivals man . I 'll be a Lover from the Kitchin to the Garret ; and my Presents shall open the Locks of every bosome : whilst thou ( eating like a Shanker , and drinking like a Hole ) shalt shine in gold Chains like the King of Peru , without having any share of my sorrows .

I begin to like the Invention .

Thou shalt be feasted and cramm'd at Don Ferdinands ; whilst I am choak'd with my jealousies .

But may I not ( to represent Don John the better ) give your shoulders now and then a tast of the Cudgel ?

Yes , when we are alone , without Witnesses .

BEttris , make up your Packet , without thinking to reconcile me by long rattle ; I 'll have no more of you .

Truly , Mistress , I 'm ignorant of the cause of your anger .

You know it not ?

If I do , may I never be haunted agen by men of Honour .

'T is no matter , I dismiss you .

Well my conscience is clear . If I have ever fail'd to serve you may I burst like a boy'ld Pudding for want of pricking . But let Flatterers goe fine while Truth must be shut out o'dores and walk naked .

Yes , Dame Betteris , you are innocent : You have not open'd my Balcone to night , nor have walkt bare-footed to make less noise ?

Alas ! is that it ? I left your lac'd linnen drying on a Line , and went into the Garden for fear some body should steal it .

Perhaps I was at prayers .

What , so loud ?

Yes , that heav'n might hear me .

And 't was no man , but my linnen , that leapt down from my Balcone .

Pray do not believe it .

I saw it , Bettris.

Ah , my dear Mistress , it is true . But Don Lewis —

O Heav'n ! how that name hurts me ? was it Don Lewis ?

Yes , Madam , your fair Cousen .

My fair Cousen ! Thou black wretch ! for what design had he admittance ?

If 't is a great sin to be charitable you have cause to be angry . But if you will but hear me speak —

You may speak long enough before I believe you .

'T was last night when that delicate Don Lewis came to see you , and because it rain'd I let him into the Hall ; and , much against my will ; for I am tender of scandal : but the poor man , being impatient , went up ; and presently after I heard your Father Don Ferdinand spit aloud ( for he alwayes coughs when he spits ) and will be heard farr enough . I 'll warrant him as sound as any man of Madrid .

Well , proceed to the ill purpose .

At this noise Don Lewis sav'd himself in your Balcone , which he found half open , and I lockt him in till you arriv'd with the old man ; with whom you discourst too long , and made Don Lewis impatient agen .

Troth we were very uncivil to him .

I stay'd till you were a bed ; and then ( being in my nature alwayes inclin'd to charitable deeds ) I went to free him from his imprisonment .

Good heart !

He said he must needs speak with you one moment , but I warrant you , I was sharp enough ; and told him plainly that your Curtains were drawn .

That was severe indeed .

I saw tears fall from his eyes , and at the same time felt a few Pistols drop into my hand . He conjur'd me with such sweet words ; calling me , my Heart , my dear Bettris , and then put on my finger a Diamond-Ring ; which did so vex me that I was ready to fly in 's face .

That had been too cruel .

Nay , 〈◊〉 but that his suff●rings wrought me agen into pitty ; for truly I cannot hate the man . But in your int'rest I know no body .

I thank you , good Mistress Bettris.

But when he saw I was so much in earnest that my face was all fire —

He saw the flushing of your anger though it were dark ; but indeed all kind of fire is most visible at night .

He leapt from the Balcone into the Street ; where I heard them cry , kill ! kill ! and this is the notable cause of your putting me away .

Well , you 'll forgive me if I must needs be too blame .

I built my happiness upon your Marriage . But if my zeal to serve you were known to Don John ( who they say is come to Town ) I should hope for as ill success as I have now .

How ? Don John , too ? the man I fear and most abhorre . After my rage against Don Lewis do you think to asswage me with the mention of Don John ? Fare you well , Maid of Honour , let me see you no more .

Let the Devill take Don Lewis who is the cause of this .

What 's the matter Bettris , are you weeping ?

Your Daughter , Sir , has dismist me from her service , and for nothing , Sir , but for wishing her favorable opinion of Don John , because he deserves it , and you desire it .

That 's a small cause for your dismission ; but I 'll endevor to reconcile you . Bid your Mistress come hither . Exit Bettris. They have often little quarrels ; sometimes for a Curle disorder'd , or a black-Patch mis-plac'd ; and more often they differ in expounding of Dreams : but this is no time for expulsion of servants . If Don John D' Alverad come , ( who is expected to night ) I 'll throw away my Staff , which is my Third Leg , and with my other Two lead 'em a Dance .

Sir , you are perhaps , contriving my Marriage with Don John ; but I hope you 'll ordain me a death less cruel .

Minion , you are for some unexperienc'd Gallant , that never travail'd but Northward , and that was to observe the variety of Flaxen Hair , and to bring home Perewigs for Presents at Court ; who spends the morning in tyring good men with the repetition of ill Verses , and in the afternoon lies stretcht out at length , in his open Gilt Coach , like the Image of Laziness drawn in Triumph through the City . — The Baggage laughs when I would have her weep .

Sir , you have reason to be angry ; but I 've as much cause to laugh when I behold this Picture of a Suitor so deform'd that he seems ridiculous .

You judge of a Man by his Picture ; let me see it . — How the Devill have I baited my Hook at Court , that I have been six Months a fishing for this Cods-head ? yet many have told me that D. John d' Alverad was a person highly esteem'd .

If he had been tollerably handsome your command might be obey'd ,

Well , however you shall promise me to use him civilly , and I 'll then find a remedy for your grief . Enter Lucilla , vail'd . But here comes a Lady that will not shew her self , I wonder who let her in , and would not first ask , whether we would be visible ? Madam , without seeing your face , or inquiring your name , you may freely command me .

Don Ferdinand , I expect no less from your civil reputation . I come to you for refuge , and beseech you without any witness I may tell you my misfortunes .

You may Daughter retire . Exit Isabell .

I would I could so express my griefs that you might find some excuse for my faults . But if you could number my tears perhaps you would confess that my eyes have been sufficiently punisht by my Crimes .

This Stranger has no ill behaviour .

This stile is somewhat Romantick . My foolish Daughter never read Romances , but , for my part , I esteem Amadis and all such antient and discreet Records of Love and Honour . Madam you seem not a person to whom a Gentleman should refuse any thing .

Sir , I must then give you the trouble of knowing my Race , and of hearing my misfortunes . My Race you will easily know , for my dead Father often told me , that he had made a friendship wi●h you at Rome , and that you are a person both obliging and brave .

I owe him much for that Character , and shall be ready to pay the debt to you .

Sir , Burgos is the Town where I receiv'd my first being , and unfortunately the flames of Love . My Mother dy'd at my birth , and my Father deceas'd soon after her when he perceiv'd the misfortune of my love . His name was Diego d' Alverad . He bred me with great care and bounty , and he had much hope of my Infancy ; but alas ! it was a false hope . My Two Brothers were no less cherisht by him , and I as much by them ; with whom I happily liv'd . But oh , how love did change my destiny !

A thousand curses take that Devil Love , it imbroyles us all .

A Stranger who came to see the Triumphs at Burgos did in those Turnements appear to have no equal . We first saw one another in an Assembly ; I was courted by him , and did endure his Courtship , or rather I was charm'd by him . He pretended to love me ; and I lov'd him , but now , Sir , let my tears speak for me .

Sure all Lovers were born in April : they never mention Sun-shine without a showr after it . This may teach me to marry my Daughter to some Gentleman whom she does not love . But , Madam , pray proceed .

The rest is fatal , Sir , and full of shame . Alas my fault depriv'd me of a Brother , and my afflicted Father soon dy'd after him . My passion had so overmaster'd my reason , that I still ador'd my unfaithfull Lover , whose return to Burgos I did two years vainly expect , and at last found that I was cruelly forsaken : and then I forsook my Kinred , and , cursing fatal Love , am hither guided by madness to seek that false man whom more than justly I ought to hate .

Is not this sufficient to teach Parents to marry their Daughters without any least mention of love . Madam , how the Devil could you be cousen'd with love ?

Alas , Sir , he told me he would be faithful . But Women shou'd never believe that beauty can sufficiently oblige the hearts of men , especially if men be so handsome as to prevail on women .

I am glad Don John's Picture renders him ugly .

Oh Don Ferdinand ! I am a fearful example for having too much believ'd a cruel Tyger , who triumphs over me , disguising his name as falsely as his faith : a name which no man seems to know , yet I am certain he lurks hereabouts . To you I address my self as my last remedy , and I demand your ayd to find him out . I know the quality you bear about this place may apprehend him , and force him to do me reason .

I shall be one of Cupids Baylies , and watch to arrest a man for debts of love .

I 'll not alledge my Father nor his memory , but by your own glory will conjure you , and not oblige you by any phrase of flattery .

Madam , to be short , I am your humble servant ; and such I have been ever to your Father , who did me the honour to call me Brother . Dispose of all my power ; my Daughter shall endeavour to asswage your griefs .

Your Nephew , Sir , desires your ear for something of importance .

Madam , my return shall be sodain . Bettris lead her to my appartment , and admit my Nephew presently .

The chance is odd that this Lady proves the Sister of my elected Son-in-Law . I must present her to him if he will see her . My Nephew and I will joyn our powers to seek her Lover , and to do her Justice . Enter D. Lewis .

O dear Don Lewis , my brave Nephew , what brings you hither , how may I serve you ?

If you can imploy no other whom you love more than me , nor that loves you more than I do , I 'm at your service . What is that Paper in your hand ?

I 'll read it to you .

Do , for I have lost my spectacles .

reads .

The younger Brother of him whom you kill'd upon some love-accompts , departs from this place to day to goe where you are . I know not perfectly the occasion , but am certain that to give you notice of it is not ill done by your Servant Don Pedro Ossorio .

Where did you incounter him who is slain ?

In Burgos .

Was he a Cavalier ?

Yes , and my great Friend .

In single Combat ?

No , by mistake , in the darkness of the night .

Tell me the manner of it .

You remember the Triumphs at Burgos for the first Infante . A Friend of mine invited me thither to shew me the common valour of our Nation in the Joco de Toros . The night after the Triumph he led me to see the Ladies at a Ball , where I was conquer'd by a Beauty , and she by me ; but this great happiness soon turn'd into a great misfortune .

Well , Sir , proceed :

I was allow'd the honour the next day to give her a visit , lov d her sincerely , and being one night together I heard an attempt to break open the dore . I saw her tremble and drew my sword for her safety . She took the Candle and blew it out . The dore was open'd , and I was attacqu'd , and in the incounter , not having the use of my Eyes , there sell at my Feet one mortally wounded ; the darkness made my escape easie . But in the morning I was overwhelm'd with grief , being inform'd that the person slaine was Brother to my Mistress , and the same intimate Friend , who invited me to Burgos .