WHither so fast , Will ? What 's the matter , man ? Thou look'st as if thou wast frighted .

I think there 's reason , Tom : for either our wise men are mad , or we are all stark fools ; for the Parliament's Dissolv'd again , and a New One to sit at Oxford , which being so unexpected , passes my understanding to unfold the meaning of it , and therefore I 'll say nothing to it ; but what I do understand is , That we are offer'd brave Sparks to serve us , for there 's Mr. Sweetlips , Mr. Swallow-Oath , Mr. High-Church , and Mr. Sell-Trust , have all writ , and are coming Post to court us to be our Servants ; and being thou art an understanding Coxcomb , that go'st to the Coffee-house , and read'st all the News , I come to ask thee what we shall say to these Gentlemen , who are woundy civil , and very earnest to have our Promises .

I am afraid such Servants will too soon be asham'd of having us for their Masters , and we may repent too late the having such costly Servants . But wil't promise them all four , when thou hast but two to chuse ? Let 's consider them severally : Mr. Sweetlips you know is a Courtier : Now what 's the business of a Parliament ? Does not the Court still strive there to get as much Money and Power as they can ? And the Parliament does or should spare our Money , and preserve our Liberty , as much as lies in their power ; and do'st not see then that chusing such a one is setting the Lamb to the Wolf to Nurse .

Thou say'st right , we should e'en be as wise as the men of Gotam . Well but because he 's a courteous fine Gentleman , and desires to serve me , I 'll tell him , That if ever I have a Boon to beg of the King , or a Wedding-Suit to make in London , he shall have the honour , as he calls it , to be imployed by me before any man ; but in this I must beg his pardon . But then what say'st to Mr. Swallow-Oath , who though 't is true he always herded with the Papists , and was thought one formerly , yet he now conforms to the Law , takes the Test , and rails at Popery as much as any man ; and what shall we do with him ?

Why if thou wilt do any thing to employ or trust him , put a Halter about his Neck , throw him into the Thames , and tie him to an Anchor , and let him swim there for a Bouy , which is the onely use such a man is good for , that will turn with every Tide . But we must have such Parliament-men as will stand as firm as Bulwarks for our Religion and Liberty ; and must be blown up , or batter●d down , before they 'l yield .

Then sure thou 'lt be for Squire High-Church , whom they call a Jure-Divino-man ; for he talks of nothing else but the Church , of which he is so true a Son , tha● 〈◇〉 swears over a Glass of Wine , he wou'd rather break ten Commandments of God , then one of the Bishops ; and cut a hundred Fanaticks Throats , before he would eat Flesh on a Friday : Besides , he is so pious , that he scorns all Laws and Statutes , and proves by Texts of Scripture , The Prince and the Prelate in all Countreys have as much Power as the Turk and Mufty .

Squire High-Church is a very good man to some purposes , but every man in his way , and none good for all things ; I 'll go to Church with him , but I won't go with him to imprison and ruine my fellow Protestants that meet at a Godly Exercise afterward in private , as if we must hang all that have more Piety then our selves . I had rather keep Christmas with him , then Lent ; rather trust his Opinion in things wherein he uses his own Reason , then where he pins his Faith on the Parson's Sleeve ; and rather trust him in a difference betwixt me and my Neighbour , then make him my Representative in Parliament : For his Principle is to be guided by the Clergy , their Principle is to make themselves pass for the Church , and then to take the best way to Preferment in it , and that best way is to make the King and the Bishop absolute , and that 's the sure way to make us all Slaves . Besides , though perhaps he means well , yet I 'm sure he 's mistaken , whilst by persecuting Dissenting Protestants , and magnifying the danger from them , he does that out of Simplicity which the Papists do out of Villany , when they forg'd the Presbyterian Plot to make the Protestants destroy one another , who must needs master the Papists if they united among themselves .

Why sure Tom , thou do'st not mean , I hope , to chuse old Sell-Trust the Pensioner again , though he bids most , and spends freest for it : for my part , I 'd as soon vote for Old Nick .

He that sells dear , may afford to buy so : But we are so much oblig'd to Mr. Sell-Trust for his past Services , that I know not how to requite him as he deserves , but thus : Let 's promise all to Vote for him , if he 'll Treat us Nobly ; let 's drink Sack , and feast jollily upon him till the day comes , and then let 's tell him , There 's a Scotch Proverb which says , If a Man deceive me once , the Devil take Him ; but if he deceive me twice , the Devil take Both : And that since he voted our Money into his own Pocket , 't was but just we should wheadle some of it back again into our Belleys ; but yet because we would not break our words with him , nor let his old Master Danby's new Directions to set them all at work again , produce nothing , we would Vote for him as we said Unanimously , but it should be , That he and the rest of his Brethren , the Pensioners should be all hang'd by the next Parliament : And so we remain yours to serve you thus at any time , honest Mr. Sell-Trust .

Faith I cann't forbear laughing to think of the Jest on 't ; we 'll be sure to do 't : But then who shall we chuse man ?

Who shou'd we chuse , but Mr. Blunt and Mr. Unity ? Men that we know wou'd rather enlarge then lessen the Liberties of an Englishman , and the Pale of the Protestant Religion ; that will not part with any of our Money till we are secur'd of the rest ; that will not be loo'd on the Fanaticks by a Trick , to save the Papists : In a word , Men that we have had good experience of , that they are Complement-proof , Feast-proof , Sermon-proof , and Bribe-proof : And if they don't court us , let us court them , and chuse them whether they will or no ; for they have but the Honour and the Trouble on 't , but we have the Benefit and the Security .

Troth , Tom , agreed ; for I never heard of a Lords Head got in Parliament cheaper then the last was ; and if we had had all the Bills the Commons past , I 'd ha' been content to pay Taxes for one year with all my heart . Well I 'll go whisper this about , and enjoyn Secrecy , that we may not fail of obliging Mr. Sell-Trust , as 't is intended — But hold , I had forgot to tell thee one thing , they all say , That if we have any Exceptions to themselves , 't will please them as well if we chuse their Sons .

Oh Fire ! Murder ! Treason ! Then 't is a plain Design to pack another Club of Voting Knaves to undo us : They care not who 't is , so it be one of their own Gang : Trust none of 'em , Will . A young Devil will cry , I & No , as well as an old one : The young Cock will crow after his Father ; and if thou put'st a young Fox that never robb'd a Henroost into the Goose-pen , thou 'lt soon see how Nature will teach him to play with the Flock . They have a mind to breed their Sons Knaves , and wou'd have us enter them in Parliament for them . Go thy way immediately , and do as thou said'st , satisfie all thy Neighbours , and God speed .

Farewel : I 'll fly about the Town in a minute .