1. MY Beloved , it is my wish and hearty desire , that my Words might make your hard Hearts plyable to the Hammer of Reproof , that even so it might beat them into Leaf-Gold , to adorn the Leaves and Covers of my Volums , and other good and useful books ; and that every syllable I utter , may find a Tabernacle in your Brains , and dwell there in Crowds and Clusters , like the Grapes of Canaan .

2. Come , come Women , away with your Fig-leaves , your Flames , and your slender Excuses ; and when your Husbands ask you any Qucstions , hide nothing from them ; nay , you had even better tell the Inquisitive Fool , if he will know his own disgrace , he is a Cuckold , if truly he is so , then tell a Lie , or an Aesop's Fable for the matter .

3. Be watchful in your Callings ; let the Men be vigilant to scrape together what they can , and their Wives be sure to be good Houswifes , that Friends may have something by the bye , and cleanly Diet , when they make a private visit .

4. As for Pride , it is the first begotten of Lucifer , and has a great resemblance of the Whore of Babylon ; therefore down with it , I say , down with your May-pole Commodes , that Turkish Heathen Fashion , Aped from Lewis XIV's Miss , and rather cut them into snips to make Boys Kites-Tails , rather than stalk along the Streets like Monuments .

5. My Beloved be sure to beg Golden Snuffers , and refuse those that are Prince's Mettal , see they nip well , and be excellently made , that you may snuff the Candles of your understandings , lest they twinkle as in the Socket , or being blown out by a puff of your Ignorance , you become so many Dark-Lanthorns .

6. I say unto ye , be Men that your Neighbours may give you large commendations , and your works be made visible , for your Wives , and your own credit and advantage .

7. Call Earth your Purgatory , and what you get here by over-reaching in your Shops , or at your ordinary Callings , lay it not up to rust in your Chests , like an old Back-sword that becomes useless for want of drawing , but let it be bestowed , as you get it , in works of Charity upon us that laboor for your Instruction , and then it will prove like Honey sucked out of Nettles and Thistles , sweetning your conceits , and making you jump from your Purgatory to paradice at a leap .

8. Be sure you highly prize Sun-shine and Thunder ; that is , plain piercing and rousing Holdings-forth ; for what can benefit you that doth not inform you ; dark and dull Teachers are fearful Judgments to ignorant block-head Hearers .

9. Be not like silly Children , that know not their own Fathers , that is who you ought to love best ; but lay aside your pride and pamperings , to remember your contribution , be sure to be liberal in that kind , though you have a Beaver Hat , a Wigg , a Top-knot , a Commode , or even a Gold Watch the less .

10. Get up in the Morning sooner for shame ; this I speak to the Women that made the last day so thin appearance , for some of you , are it seems , so tender forsooth that you cannot rise in cold Weather to dress you time enough ; but were I by your Bed-sides I 'd rouse you with a Witness .

11. Beware of the Mill , and the circle of the Mill of worldly business , and of the circle of sensual pleasure ; they be traps that take most , and are the Death of all they take , the Mill doth store Hell with you poor Tennants , and the Circle store it with you rich Landlords .

12. You think , I 'll warrant you , all to be saved by hearing of me ; no , no , no such matter I 'll assure you ; for unless you do as well as hear , you 'll come short on 't ; and then at the last day , one will say , I was a hearerof such a one , I was one of Mr. B's Congregation ; why this is true , and if I should be asked the Question , I can't deny it , I must not tell a lye for the matter in such a place ; and then what a fine credit will it be for me to have Taught , and Taught , and yet you never the better , or the wiser for all my Instructions and Reproofs ; then when you see me about to enter , one will catch hold of my Cloak , and another will catch hold of my Cloak , thinking I shall pull you in after me , but indeed I shan't be so Civil , I tell you that ; no , no , no such matter , I would not have you rely upon this , for in good earnest you 'll be mistaken , and that very grosly too ; for I 'll e'en show you a trick for it , and what do you think that will be ? why truly when you think you have got fast hold , I 'll slip the Button of my Cloak , and let you all drop with it ; and whether do you think you will be dropping then ? why even to the dark bottomless Pit , Cloak and all together , and then consider what a sad condition you 'll be in . Therefore let me again advise you , to add to your hearing , works of Charity , you know in what way I mean , and who expects it from you .

13. We find one highly Extolled for Leaving all to become a Preacher , and pray what did he leave ? why truly we read of nothing but a broken Net and a little Boat , it may be some five or six pound value ; but here am I , who have left Fifty pound a Year to come amongst you , to edifie you by my Teaching ; and what does all this come to ? why truly almost to nothing at all , especially to any purpose , for I don't know that I have received above six pound for all the pains I have taken in sweating and straining my Lungs : I have thrashed and thrashed to little purpose , I say , and can make but little Wheat fly out of the stubborn Husk , it is a great sign of a bad Harvest of good Works : You , I say , are so dull and drousie in your performances , or rather too covetous , you would , I believe , have all for nothing by your good wills , you come crouding in shoals from one end of the Town to the other , and stand gaping with your Mouths at half-cock , to be edified by those things I deliver to you out of my pains and studies , but when I come towards a conclusion , and begin to touch your Mammon , O then 't is you begin to shrug and draw in your Horns , one bustles to get out , and another crouds to be rubbing off , treading upon the Toes of his Neighbour for haste , and perhaps tumbling over an Old Woman at her Devotion , or breaking his shins against the end of a Form .

14. There on the other hand a minikin Dame who has sate all the while to shew her three story Flaldal , tricked up with Ribbonds , like a Mare for Sale in a Market or Fair , puts on her Hood forsooth , that might have been as well kept on before , and now pulls it over her face , stealing out without leaving the value of a Mornings Draught behind her in the Bason .

15. Whrt is it you come for my friends ? 't is for some purpose or no purpose , if it be to no purpose , to what end do you come ? Therefore I again admonish you to consider to what purpose you come , and if you come at all , let it be to some purpose ; if you leave nothing behind you , you do not do half so much good as a parcel of silly Sheep upon a Common , for though they nibble the Grass , yet they let fall that from their Posteriors that dungs the Ground and makes the Grass grow again .

16. Now , it may be , some of you may say , why Mr. B — we are not desirous to be behind hand with Sheep , if such a small courtesie as that will do you any kindness , that 's freely at your service ; but though we do receive a mouthful or two of your Pastoral refreshment , yet the price of a few words can surely come to no great matter , they may be worth a T — rd or two , or so , but for Mony we know better what to do with than to give it away for Bottle Air ; No , no , we had rather spend it in Bottle Ale , there 's some substance in that ; thus methinks , sometimes , I hear some of you say , and fancy I see you fingering your Pettycoats and Breeches to leave me what the Cat left in the Malt-heap .

17. But this won't do , it won't do I tell you , there will be no trusting to the hold of my Cloak for such as use me thus . These must go they know not whether , unless they mend their manners , and grow more charitable : You little think how I have sighed and groaned , and groaned and sighed , and all I think to little purpose ; so that if there be any hopes left to work upon you , it is that these Sayings and Friendly Exhortations will make an Impression in your Minds , and be ever in your remembrances : If that expectation fail me , then I shall despair of working my ends , unless I take the method of the Country Curat , which , my Beloven , was this ,

Once upon a time it happened , as the story goes , that the Curate finding his Congregation dull of Apprehension , took an occasion after Sermon to tell them there would be a match of Cudgels played . This pleased them mightily , and to it they went in the Church-yard , so that the Curate , who was better skilled , and withal of able Body , broke a great many of their Heads . But this gave offence , and the Curat was sent for , and reproved for such his undertaking ; when in his Defence he replied , Truly it was a necessity put him upon it , for his Parishioners good ; for being placed amongst a dull sort of People , they for the most part forgot what he delivered to them before they got out of the Church-yard : And therefore he took this method to beat it into their Heads , that they might carry it home with them and edifie .

My Friends , there are four sorts of runnings . There is a running forward in the ways of Virtue , and that I commend to you ; there is also a running away from Sin and Vice , and that 's well enough too : But then there is a running backward from all good , and I 'll assure you that is very bad : But the last running is a complicated Running , and that is a running in Debt , and that commonly runs a Man into Prison , and then though he would run to the Devil , yet there he must stay . My beloved , I charge you beware of this Running .

My Beloved , I have told you of four sorts of Runnings , I must now tell you of four sorts of Stayings , also first there is staying away , that is from Church ; and that 's a bad staying . Secondly , there is a stayinst at a Whore-House , and that 's worse ( and let me tell you by the way , I wish there be none of you guilty of this staying ) ▪ Thirdly , there is staying in an Ale-House or a Tavern , and that I am afraid many of you do from Morning till Night : And then Fourthly and lastly there is staying at home , but that 's only when you have no Mony to spend abroad , and this is even as bad as the other .

My Beloved , as there are four sorts of runnings , and four sorts of stayings , ( which I could easily have made half a dozen , but that I love brevity ; so my Friends , let me warn you against four sorts of Sins . First , the Sin of Drunkenness , and that 's a beastly Sin ▪ for you know it often works both upwards and downwards , and leaves you in a beastly pickle ; but I spare your Ears , because I doubt not you know it by experience , as well as I. Secondly , There 's the Sin of Swearing , which is an unprofitable Sin ; and therefore , I think , you don't use it much . And , thirdly , there 's the Sin of Lying ; and of this I 'm affraid you all come in for a snack , But the fourth and last Sin , is the sin of Whoring , and this indeed is a tickling sin ; and I heartily wish we had not all of us been too often tickled with this Sin . But my Friends , though it has been thus , and though we have been all guilty , very guilty herein , yet let none despair , for dispair is a very desperate thing ; and therefore let no one stand lying in the Gulph of Despair , but fail a rising by a vigorous Repentance .