YOU are pleased to say you have had very ill Treatment from me , tho you believe , I never saw you , nor ever received any Affront or Injury by your means . 'T is true indeed that ( to my knowledge ) I never did see you ; as also that I know of no Affront or Injury you ever did or occasioned me . And I do here assure you , that it was no Private disgust at Dr. T.R. that induced me to write the Discourse that so much offends you , but a Resolution to bestow some Remarks on those who from such poor Piques will set themselves by secret and unfair ways to oppose Truth , Undermine Religion and True Philosophy , and Blast the Reputation of those that endeavour to propagate them . But wherein I have ill Treated you , I shall particularly enquire . And first , you charge me with Insinuating that you are the Beast L. P. and that therefore I have fallen heavily on the Introduction to Sir John Narborough , &c. To which I answer , that I no where call L. P. Beast , nor directly charge the Essays on you . 'T is true , I hint now and then that there are some passages in them very like your way of writing ; and by what you used to talk about Town before the publication of them , as well as what you are now pleased to Acknowledge , 't is plain without going any further , there is ground enough for an Insinuation of that nature . The Reason why I cited some things out of your Writings , was both because ( as I said just now ) I found a strange agreement in Sense and Stile between them and those of L. P. and also that I found several passages there lyable to just Exception : and why I may not make Remarks on such , wherever I find them , you have not yet convinced me .

You solemnly declare you are not the Author of the two Essays ; And yet you own that you assisted towards the Composition of that Elaborate Pamphlet , being induced to it , not by any motives of Reason , but ( such is your soft , gentle and Christian meekness ) by a Private disgust at D. W. But since you say you are sorry that you were tempted to cast your Eyes on some vicious Fragments of those Patch'd Essays , and also that the Author hath made such an ill use of your kind furnishing him with Books and Letters : I declare I am sorry too , that you did not prohibit the Publication of those Patch'd Essays , and which had not you , as you say , toucht here and there , I had never toucht you . You must therefore Sir , thank your self for the unkind Animadversions you complain of ; which how unkind soever they may appear to you , I am sure are not unjust .

You say indeed , that I have a peculiar faculty of bringing forth Monsters , catching here and there a line , and sometimes single words , piecing them together into one ridiculous Paragraph . Had you proved this , Sir , t' would lye as hard on me , as now it doth on you ; but the Instance you give is very short of it . You say , I introduce on my Stage the Monkeys and Apes ( as before I had done False Dice and Trick Tack ) which if any one thinks it worth his labour to compare with your Letter to Mr. Ray , he will soon discover the Venom and Vlcer of this Mercurial Remarker . But , Sir , your Invention it seems is much better than your Eye-sight , for I make no mention of False Dice any where , and not of Tick Tack till 76 pages after this : And for the Monkeys and Apes , 't was your self introduced them on the English Stage ; as will plainly appear if the Reader please to peruse that Letter of yours . In the Place you referr to , viz. p. 51. of my Remarks , I urge against L. P. that though it could be proved that the Fossil Shells were not deposited , where they are found , by the Deluge , yet would it not thence follow , that they were not Shells at all : And for this I bring the Testimony of the most Learned Doctor T. R. who tho he thought some of these Bodies might be scatter'd up and down the Earth by Encampments of Armies , &c. or by Apes and Monkeys : yet calls them Shells notwithstanding . Now in this , Sir , I do you no wrong , for the Passage in your Letter to Mr. Ray is only a little longer , but to the very same sense . Say you there Mr. Loubere , the late French Envoy to Siam , affirms that the Monkeys and Apes are almost continually carrying Shells , and other Marine Bodies from the Sea-side up to the Mountains . All I can be culpable for here , is only that I did not cite the Authority from whence you had this Observation , and that I call that your Opinion , which you had from Mr. Loubere . And is it not so ? don 't you bring this as one way , by which Shells may come to the Tops of Hills ? Mr. Loubere perhaps was so happy as to see the Monkeys and Apes about this important work ; his therefore was knowledge , and yours that relate it from him in that Letter , is Opinion of the Truth of that Fact : which is all I say of it . And therefore , wherein the Barbarity , Vlcer and Venom of this matter lies , you would have done better to have demonstrated , than to have charged it unjustly and unfairly upon me , without doing so .

Next , Sir , you charge me with Jirking at the Boyling and Burning Fountains , which you are pleased to say , are not so much as warm , and even actually cold ( vid. My Remarks p. 59. ) And really , Sir , I can't but think still , that you deserve a little Animadversion for that manner of expressing your self . For if by Boyling and Burning , you mean as other People do , and according to the true signification of those words , you will find very few Persons that will believe the Fact you Relate , viz. that Boyling and Burning Fountains are actually cold . But if by Boyling you mean nothing but a Fountain's bubbling up , I can't see what need there is of a Pompous Account of such a Fountain : For wherever there is a great Pressure or weight of Water , and the Orifice of the Spring but Narrow : Or wherever any Air or Vapour comes out along with the Water , there this mighty Phaenomenon of the Bubbling or Boyling of the Water will follow : And yet it will be no great news to tell the World that you have seen a Spring bubble up , whose Water is cold . And then as to Burning ; if by it you mean no burning of the Water at all , but only , an irruption of some Sulphurous or Bituminous Vapours at , or near the Fountain Head ( which was the Case of the Spring near Wigan in Lancashire , Phil. Trans . N. 26. ) I think still you had as good not have called it a Burning Fountain : And 't is your pretty wording of it only , that I find fault withall ; being satisfied there is in nature in many Places , something like what you mean , without desiring any old Woman to pour those Fountains into my Skull , which ( by a way peculiar to you ) you say she can so easily do .

After this you tell Mr. Wotton that I have some where or other , tho where you know not , a very nauseous piece of Scurrility on himself for his Laborious and Accurate Account of Agostino Scilla : Now Sir , since you discourage Mr. Wotton from Reading my Book , by a witty Argument drawn from its price , you ought to have been so just and kind as to have quoted that Nauseous and Scurrilous Passage : But the mischief is , there is no such thing there . I never mention Mr. Wotton once in all my Book , nor do I charge the Extract of Scilla on him : Indeed I say , that Extract is liable to Exceptions , and that I can prove it , and I say now that the Extracter shall have that Proof whenever he desires it . But where is the Nauseousness and Scurrility of this : Alass , 't is only a poor dis-ingenuous Artifice of yours to prejudice Mr. Wotton and draw him into your Quarrel ; and you practice the very same with reference to Dr. Hook , Mr. Ray , and Dr. Lister : which I doubt not , but those Gentlemen are well aware of : And now Sir , having finished my Answer to the great Charge against me ; pray give me leave to ask you a few Questions , and so I will leave you .

And first Sir , I wou'd fain know whether your calling such pretty Gentile Names as you do , such as , Buffoon , Mountebank , Scaramouch , and Harlequin , Draw-Can-Sir , Leviathan , Fitz-Harris , Pueril Declamator , &c. be suitable to that Christian Meekness , and to those soft and gentle Instructions you have so often been ( as you say ) inspired withall ? and whether it be agreeable to the kind promise you made of not treating me after my own Petulant and Inhumane Manner ? and whether this be not a little suspicious and most disagreeable to the refined part of Mankind ? to give it in your own way . 2dly . May not a man that so soon forgets his promised way of handling Mr. Harris , forget also whether he ever knew the Author of the two Letters or not ? for indeed Sir , there are in them ( as I observe in my Remarks ) so many things agreeable to the Stile and manner of writing used by L. P. that they wou'd tempt any one to think they had the same Original . And truly Sir , there are even in this very Letter of yours a great many Touches which are very like the Masterly hand of L. P. such as the Vlcer and Venom of this mercurial Remarker : ducking in a mighty Volum of vanity : Every old Womans being able to pour the Boyling and Burning Fountains into my skull : And that concluding piece of Elegance , that you are not affected with the Grimaces of Buffoons , and Mountebanks , unless by way of Laughter as in this J. H. his Remarkable Theatre of Scaramouch , and Harlequin : Judge you now of this Hue-in-cry from your Brother of Winchelsey : All which I think are enough to justifie a Remark I have made at the top of my 51 Page : Which I will not here repeat , but leave you to consider of it at your Leisure .