WIthout either Preface , Proeme or Exordium , my business at the present is to deal with one G. Thomson , a grand Empyrick and Pseudo-Chymist ; and although I was not easily inclined to match my hate so low , and therefore have passed by his provocations in his former inveterate and malicious Pamphlets , yet lest it should be said that no man durst become the Colledges Champion , and take this wild Boar by the Tusks , I was at length resolv'd ( with Gods assistance ) to chastise and correct his impudent and insolent attempts upon the Honour of that Learned Society , and other Learned Galenists and Chymists , of which venerable and vast number , I must acknowledge my self minimus .

And indeed when I consider'd that this Son of the fifth of November , hath done no●hing but made Squibs and Crackers , and great Noises ; thereby taking occasion to ventilate his Spleen and Gall , he having no other way ( it seems ) left him to dispose of that black and hellish Furniture of his Hibernian Soul ; ( his feminine sufferer being long since departed , that principally used to share therein ) I began to question sometimes with my self , whether there were any need to acquaint the world with the impudence and folly of so worthless a fellow . But since he hath been pleased not only to speak proud words , and make great Brags ; but to fall upon me also , by the final letter of my Christian name , and initiall of my Sirname ; and having first abused me otherwise in his unjust pretence to Chymistry , viz. in pilfering what he glories in from my several works extant , and re-baptizing my Medicines into other names , and thence adopting them his own Bratts : whereas his dull brains never travell'd with such admirable and useful discoveries ; I having for many years last past been an Instructer of many Nobles and Peers not only of this , but other Nations , in the mysteries of Chymistry and the Hermetique Philosophy ; of which the world , and my many elaborate Pieces published , are eminent and conspicuous Evidences . These things ( I say ) considered , I hold my self in point of Honour concerned to become my own Compurgator ; although it be by the full anatomizing of this bold Brute in good manners , and Mosstrooper in true Chymistry .

Now whereas he pretends himself a Doctor in Physick , he must give me leave to deny it : and my Negation I will fortifie by the several Reasons and Arguments following . 1. By his own acknowledgment he was but a Chyrurgions Prentice at the first ; by which opportunity he conveniently became acquainted with a few conjuring terms , and hard words , which ignorant people believe can proceed from none but a Doctor ! but I must tell them , every loud noise is not Thunder ; nor is a Chyrurgion a Doctor , although many ( in favour of the Art , and for its dependency upon , and neer relation to , Learning ) have given that respective Epithete to some of his Profession ; neither did ever any ingenious Artist accept of that Title as his own merit , but as the respect of his Friend that afforded it him , though Mr. Th. wiser then the wisest of them , arrogantly writes himself Doctor . 2. If he be a Doctor , he must proceed so , either of Merit , or Grace ; of Merit it cannot be , because he never was of proper standing for it , in an University ; and if it was of Grace , let him tell us where it was ? and when ? and who it was that presented him ? and for what ? and then we shall be able to judge of the matter better . 3. It seems improbable , that he should receive such honour from any University ; because they commonly prefer Persons meritorious ; and sweat them to observe and preserve the honour of Learning , and Learned men : But this man instead of that , makes it his main business to strike at the root of the one , and ruine of the other . Ergo , no true qualified Doctor . 4. If he be a Doctor ( as it appears he hath a months mind to be , by his writings ) certainly he had such a creation , as an impudent Vintue : ( who pretended himself a Preacher ) had Ordination ; viz. from a Captain of a Ship : who being a year or two accustomed to the profaning of the Pulpit , refused at last to take to his Profession again ; deeming the said Captains Ordination good enough ; as without doubt it was , for so unsanctified a fellow . Indeed many such Hedge-Doctors and Hellish Preachers we have now adays ; the first serving to glut the Grave with murthered carcases , the other to send Souls to Perdition .

But to pass by his Doctorship ( for if he will needs be a Doctor , let him be one : I 'll not trouble his Title , if he let but Me , and my Friends escape his Pills ) I come in the next place to consider his late idle Pamphlet .

1. Whereas he boldly vaunts of his Loimologia ; I assert there is nothing in it ( I mean worthy ) that is not taken out of my Theomagia , or Temple of Wisdom , in the second and fourth p●rts thereof , as any that please may read : but I have not ( I confess ) taught him to throw dirt in the face of Physicians , either there or any where else ; that must therefore be an impudent Addition of his own . And whereas he entitles that Pamphlet of Plagiarism , Loimologia ; and Englishes it , a Consolatory Advice , &c. [ which is right Bear-garden translation : ] He might more truely have called it , Ἀπταλογά , or a delusory device ; his impudent aim therein , being onely to pick up a few beggarly pence out of the Pockets of poor people , by perswading them that he is more knowing then a grave and long continued Society of Learned and experienced men in the Art of Medicine : never all this while considering how impossible it is in reason , for a pittiful Dwarf to throw off a Giants Cap.

2. For his commending of his own Antidotes and Preservatives , &c. I would fain know of him , if there be so much vertue and power in them , and this by him understood ; What is the reason that himself did not prove the truth thereof , in the fortifying of his own Phlegmatique body , before he adventured to dissect the Corps of a Patient ( that as I heat , non obstante his quacking skill , dyed under his Butcherly hands ) but was forc'd ( like other ignorants ) from that undertaking , to fall a Sacrifice to sickness , and to his own confidence and shame together ? — If he knew the preparation of my Tinctura Polycaea truely , I grant he might perform admirable Cures thereby ; but I deny that he understandeth it ; for had he so done , himself should never have yeilded to sickness no more then I , though he had been dissecting Pestilential bodies a year together .

The true Tinctura Polycaea , I have largely treated of in my Holy Guide , parts the second and third ; and therein have given such real demonstrations of its true but incredible effects , that the like Medicine is not in the world as yet discovered , it going beyond the best preparation of my Rosie Crucian Pantarva ; with which I have renewed the Youth of persons Aged , and brought a spring into the bones of such persons , that have been totally frost-bitten with age . But what do I mention these things to him , that understands no● Venus from a Hogg , one who is little better then a Thief of the second head , that will be twatling and pratling of Robin hood , though he yet never shot in his Bow ?

3. Whereas this Posteriors of a true Physitian is grieved , that some of the Colledge left the City in this Pestilential time ; I shall tell him , that they did no more now then in other Summers they were wont ; they being persons of eminent Fortune , as well as Learning . And without doubt this Paltry Fellow would have done so too , had he had any abiding place to have flown unto ; but having none , was forced to tarry in his Garret neer Aldgate , cracking of Nuts in his two-penny Crucible , and venting his malice against those worthy persons , many of which would scorn to accept him for their Groom : perhaps his abode there was one main reason that the Bills of that Parish increased to so vast numbers . And yet this brain-sick Fellow cannot be quiet , but like the tail-less Fox , is angry that those Learned Physitians are not as bare and beggarly as himself .

4. For his boasting profanely of Helmonts name , I must tell him , that Helmont may be somewhat to eat for ought he knoweth of him . Helmont was a worthy Learned Person , and of the first Order of the Rosie-crucians , and not a pitiful Quack like Thomson . But see more of Helmont in my Harmony of the World , my Rosie-crucian Axiomata , and the second part of my Wisemans Crown .

5. For his impudent challenge to the Galenists , to take a portion of the corruption of a Plague-sore inwardly : I answer , That it is beneath a General of an Army to play at Cudgels ; or else his impudence might be answered . But what is there in his challenge more , then if an impudent Attorney should challenge a Lord Chief Justice to moot with him ? or a Junior Sophister to go about to mate a Governour of a Castle or City in the Politiques ? would not the one deserve the Fleet , and the other the Stocks ? surely yes . — But to pass this , I would advise G.T. to propose his impudent desires to some of his Brethren the Common Mountebanks ; with whom ( sine dubio ) his motion may finde acceptance : but he had best bē certain of his Antidote , lest the tryal prove as dangerous to him , as did his presumptuous dissecting of the Corps of his dead Patient .

Besides , I must tell him that the matter he moulds into a challenge , hath nothing of wonder or danger in it at all , excepting the unlucky ingredient of his own frontless impudence : For who knoweth not that the Ichorous Venome he mentioneth is of humane Essence ? how then can it be dangerous ? Fulsome we allow it , but not Fatal ; nor any more hurtful , then Maggots in Nuts , or Mites in Cheese . Nay , I am ap● to believe G.T. is of the same opinion also , and probably makes it a principal part of his Dyet ; and that may be one reason he is so subject to the Glanders , as is plain by his so resolute slinging about his filth , that he careth not into whose face it lighteth : But every man knowes , that he which is impudent , must needs be a Heretique in good manners . I will not charge G.T. as guilty of so much knowledge in Chymistry , as to understand what Helmonts Archaeus means , or what my Gamahe's signifie : if he have a minde to inform his judgement herein , let him read my Elhavareuna . — In the interim , I shall make this Anti-challenge to him , viz. — to take ten drops of Aqua Heydoniana , and my self will take double the quantity ; and let him take his Antidote , and I will take none at all : ( for he is no true Chymist , whose body is not always prepared ) and then let the World judge who comes neerest the Elixar , a Quack , or a true Chymist ! Thomson or Heydon !

6. For his abusing the late Lord Mayor , because he did not employ his Quack-ship ; I see not but so gross a piece of impudence and daring ought to be requited by the Beadle of Bridewell ; whose chastizing hand might soon let out that corrupt humour , that irritates his Frenzy to so great a height , that not only a Learn'd Colledge , but Magistracy it self must be confronted by it .

7. For his enumerating several disgraceful epithets together , as Wizard , Figure-caster , &c. since he makes no particular application of them , I shall not presume to dive into his m●licious thoughts about them : Howbeit , I must tell him he hath done but churl-like , in inviting Guests , and making only a Feast for himself . And for that particular Predicter he idly hints at , if he mean thereby any one that studies Astrology ; I tell him , the Stars shall shine , and their Studies be honoured , while such Vermine as Thomson shall be scorn'd both of God and man . But why do I interest my self in anothers quarrel ? that Predicter ( whoever he be ) if at least he deserves that appellation ) is certainly able to vindicate himself from this malicous Fellows Scomma's , and will so without doubt , if the thoughts of an impar congressus prevent not .

Lastly , For the Conjunction of Mercury with Sol and Luna , as he simply mentioneth , I must be content to guess at what he intends , as himself doth at the Distempers of his deluded Patients . He must thereby mean either a real , or Metaphorical Conjunction ; if a real one , let him shew it us in his Ephemerides , if he can ; there having been hardly such a Conjunction ( perhaps ) since he first saw the Expansium of light : but we will allow him capable of coyning crotchers and conceits in Astronomy , as well as in Chymistry . But if he mean a Metaphorical Conjunction , and thereby allude to the late Villanous Theft committed upon the Treasury of the Colledge ; may it not reasonably be presumed , that himself had a hand in the Robbery ? I am sure such an impudent boasting may well suggest to those Learned loosers a jealousie thereof ; from whence they might ( upon suspition at least ) make him answer their Indictment at a Bar of Justice , amongst his Fellow impudents , and perhaps Quondam Companions .