EVery maid , nay every whore , in expectation by her good carriage to obtain a husband , will behave themselves in a very demure manner , and couzen the Devil with hypocriticall modesty ; But Prince Roberts Monkey having not so much policy as her Master , laid her self so open to the view of the world ; that every one without peeping might ●●ok upon , nay into the Monkey , so that her bad looks and deformed vi●●ge , and the mad malignant tricks which she plaid in the flower of her ●outh made her despaire of a husband , and to remaine uncourted , much ●ore unmarried in regard of her vicious malignity of her tricks and qua●●ies , she having no portion to guild over these faults or tricks following : ●irst , she was alwayes unconstant changing her affection , oftner then her ●●ock , and it is supposed that she learnt her giddy actions either from ●rownists , or her halfe cosins , which are Baboones : And when as maids ●ould simper and dissemble there desires , this Monkey had a licorish ●●ngue and a licorish taile , she would eat no oatmeal nor lome of walls ●o cure her green infirmitie , but the longest whitest sugar plums she could ●ut in her mouth were most delightfull to her taste , and had such a ravi●ous appetite to fruit that she would swallow all but the stones , and having ●otten a delectable bit in her mouth ( according to the manner of monkeys , ●●e would onely suck the juice out of it and then spit out the rest ; as if she ●ad had no more teeth then are in the gums of an old parish Midwife . And ●ecause she was alwayes a loose bodied thing , and desirous to have been ●ragling all mad to have lost her maiden-head , therefore she was tied to ●he nave of a wheel , so fast that an Italian padlock could not keep a Mon●ey more safe and close from others handling ; moreover this Monkey was and is by nature a notable plunderer not onely of studdies and closets ●nto which if she got she would teare the books , spill the ink , and eat the ●weetmeats , but many times under the colour of love or rather lust , this Monkey in familiar manner sitting by her sweet-hearts would plunder and pick their pockets , which was indeed a very base fault , and a who●● trick : when she was not above fifteen yeers old , an old man that wa● wrinkled and deformed as her self came a wooing to her ; and this she Monkey , ( having learnt to plunder from Prince Robert plunderd the po●● old Gentleman of all his Rings , of his Watch and of his Purse that 〈◇〉 in his pocket , and would never so much as open her mouth to give hi● any satisfaction or thanks for it , so that the old Gentleman paid de●●ly for his wooing , and had onely a sensible feeling of the Monkey , an● her malignant tricks , this Monkey also hath plundred many a young m●● that stood for the Cause , and hath got from them scarfs , gloves , bodkins , Rings and other commodities , and is more insatiate then the city Lottery , for bring in what you will if this Monkey once get hold of it , she will not part with a pin-till till her own turne be satisfied , which was a greedy humour and a trick that a longtime spoild this Monkeys marriage , moreove● this Monkey was alwayes a cunning Jugler , so that when Souldiers ha● received their pay , when there hands were in her placket , her hands woul● be in there pockets , and though they felt the Monkey at the very same instant , yet they had not the power to take such sure hold of her as to carry her before a Magistrate , but she would cunningly slip away from them and leave them no money in their pockets , nor any thing in their hands but a rusty musket or a pike , for she would get away to bed and laugh next day with open mouth to think how she had guld the souldiers , so that the souldiers cried a pox on this Monney , we can never keep any money for this She Monkey . If she went to Church she was alwayes close vaild like a Nun , and when she was in the most holy picture of praying , though her mouth many times opened , yet she could not pray by the spirit but would hold her peace or else the desires of her mumping minde were that such or such a young man were preaching in her pulpit , and indeed many Schollers and preachers after service was done did love to handle the Monkey better then they did their text , and it is thought that some of them would never have married if it had not been for love of the Monkey .

But amongst other tricks that hindered this Monkeys marriage , that was one chief matter , she could never keep her legs together , but would throw them abroad in such an obscene manner , that any of the Cavaleers with a Carbine charged with two bullets might easily enter her maiden Fort , rifle all the treasures of her virginity , and come off safe and sound with a pox to them , and so she would be revenged of her enemies ; for many of the Caveleers that were malignants to the Parliament , were more beaten and foiled by this Monkey then by all their forces , so that their bones in the language of diseases cryed peccavi , or a pox of Prince Roberts malignant Monkey . Her last trick was a very bad quality , and that was , when she was drunk she would let any one take up her smock , if she had it , and so discover her Monkey . Well , every dog hath his day , and every Monkey may get her match . It fortuned , that Cupid , to be revenged of the Cavaleers in Oxford , made him cast his eye , and with it his affection upon this Monkey , and though he could not finde any particular good quality in her , yet he loved her exceedingly in the whole , and most especially he doated upon her Monkey ; after this , wooe her he did , and still when he was on horseback , or on on footback , he still thought upon his Monkey ; once he drew out his sword at Grises Taverne in Oxford , and the close shutting of the Oister , and the opening of it afterward , made him think of his beloved Monkey ; then he would drink healths , and swear ( God dam me ) you shall pledge my Monkey , she is my Mistrisse , fill it all out Sir : But one day the Cavaleer having with too much familiarity angered the Monkey , she bit him very shrewdly , so that the Cavaleer grew exceeding sick , and afterward when he was recovered , he made this conceit on his Monkeys displeasure , and biting bitternesse : Monkey , nay fie , Why dost thou frown on me ? And will thy countenance never better be . A pox upon thee and thy false fair looks , In stead of favors thou givest me French knocks .

But love is a fire not to be quenched , for assoon as the hot Cavaleere was grown coole and healthfull , he desired again to be dealing with his Monkey , and drew a long Letter , the Contents whereof pleased her exceeding well , so that she resolved to be fast joyned in Matrimony to the Cavaleere , and the Cavaleere thought to cock his Carbine , and match his Monkey . The wedding day was appointed to be kept in Nullibi Colledge or Broadgates Hall , a Dinner was provided , but the Monkey sat all dinner time very demure , and was so possest with the strong imagination of what shall be done at night , so that she could not eat a bit , but smiled inwardly to her self , to think how the Cavaleere would tickle her Money ; when dinner was done the Monkey & the C●valeers dance to the tune of Iump to thy Cousin and kisse , and the Mon●● was so heated with dancing , that she was ready to have dropped her m●●denhead upon the rushes : Well , the Cavaleers rested , and toyed with the Monkey , that sat simpering , with a watering mouth , to think of the pleasures she should enjoy at night . At last night , being looked for , came and the Cavaleer , and the Monkey were with great Ceremony broug●● into their chamber , and when they were in bed all the company left them And now the Cavaleer like a blushfull Scholar did his acts in his tenebr●● and what they were you must imagine , suppose them now at there midnight sport , which be done over and under again ; they were early in the morning saluted by this song composed by a Scholar of Oxford on the marriage of the Monkey and the Cavaleer .

The next day the Scholars of Oxford made many Epithalanions in praise of the Monkey . And after they had made this song they gave it to the Cavaleers , who sung it to a merry new tune cald the Monkey , Prince Roberts Monkey is a toy , That doth exceed his dog cal'd Boy , Which through dogged folly , Both barkes and bites , But this delights The Prince when 's melancholy . He puts Sweetmeats and sugar plumbs , Into his Monkeys toothlesse Gumbs Which open like an Oyster , For he doth esteeme A wench I meane ; More then a Nun in Cloyster , And tell his Caveleeroes bold , That live at Oxford uncontrold , When as they are halfe drunkish , Their heat to quench , Wee le have a wench That lusty is and Monkish . All happinesse and joy betide , Vnto the Monkey now a Bride ; Whose Mayden-head was minsty , Her hey nonny no Was mouldy also , Till she married a Cavaleer lusty . But this same Cavaleer did trounce her , And with his Petronell did bounce her , And when he was halfe drunkish , He made her sport And entred the fort , That lusty was and ●onkish .

After the wedding night had been spent in the sweet contents of love , ●he Cavaleere rose out of his bed from his hellish Venus , being worse beaten , and more sore and weak in his back and joynts , then ever he was when he was beaten at Warwick , or any other Town from whence the Cavaleers were repulsed : he thought the Devill had been in the Monkey , that could make him so weak , so wondrous weak , as if he had lost all the bloud in his body ; whereupon he resolved to favour himselfe hereafter , and not to come on in such a furious manner , and endanger the breaking of his Carbine , or fiering it in the Monkeys touchole : so he went poore Cavaleere to get a Caudle made , and took many restoratives to fortifie his back again , intending to keep a good while out of his Monkeys mouth , having been so shrewdly bitten on his wedding night . Now while the Cavaleere endeavoured to recover his strength again , the Monkey after she was married , began to play the second part of malignant ttricks : And first , she began to straggle abroad , and when she got loose , she would run to one Taverne or other with her Gossips , and there they would sit and drink , and condemne their husbands for being too slack in pleasing their Monkeys . For you must now suppose the Monkey was mad , because the Cavaleere did forbear to come on as he was wont to do ; and because she would make the Cavaleere mad , she set a Cullender by her bed side , when she had occasion to make water , she took it and made her distillations therein , so that all her urine ran about the bed , and the Cavaleere lay souced in the Monkey salt pickle , so that her husband being extreamly vext after he had sworne two or three oaths , and 〈◇〉 many farts he leaped out of bed , and left the Monkey to coole herself in the empty bed , but her bed was not long empty ; for after the Cavaleer was gone , a Scholar of Oxford had a great desire to leave off poring in his book , and instead of plodding on the deep liberal Sciences , he had , minde to peep into the Monkeys black Art or Arse , and so accord as to former appointment the Scholar thought to have about with the Monkeys Nunquam Jatis , and thereupon slipt of his breeches and slipped into bed , and so the Scholar perfectly performed his Acts , and came off with 〈◇〉 and so betimes in the morning tooke his vale of the Monkey . But 〈◇〉 behold the last and most divellish malignant trick that the Monkey 〈◇〉 which she performed in this manner . It chanced that after the Cav had a long time forborne the Monkeys bed ; ( as was formerly related 〈…〉 young Scholar of Oxford make him Cornutus , and afterward the next 〈◇〉 that they fell out , she discharged her malice against him in many w which flew as thick as hail shot , and and at last she discharged a bullet that hit the Cavaleer in the heart , telling him that although they had b●●● married but three days , she had not been idle but had made him as a a Cuckold as any in Oxford or in London , when the Cavaleer heard 〈◇〉 he swore Dammee , Dammee , Dammee this Monkey is a Devil , she al broke my back in the wedding night , and now she hath turned a Cava into a Cuckold , I am horne mad , I am worse now then a Round head , I will be revenged upon her for making me a City Cavaleer or Cucko●● I will therefore go to the Tavern , be drunk , and write verses against all whole generation of Shee-Monkeys .

The Cavaleers reply to his whorish Monkey .

The Monkeys excuse to her Husb the abused Cavaleer .