An Enquiry after Plain-dealing, who is said to have forsaken most parts of the world above a thousand years with a defence thereof against all its enemies and opposers, whether they be parasites, sycophants, pharisees, hypocrites, dissemblers, tale-bearers, whisperers, and the whole tribe of Judas.

A DEFENCE OF PLAIN-DEALING .

TO write of Plain-dealing , in an Age wherein Double-dealing is as common in Christendom as in any other part of the World , ( if not more than in some ) and is all the year long as frequent as the fall of Leaves in Autumn , is at best but a bold adventure ; especially for one , who is the unablest of a thousand , the unworthiest of ten thousand .

Some will say it is rashness ; some will call it rusticity or rudeness ; some will condemn it as madness ; and most will judge it to be folly and weakness : but however . I despair not of finding some such as are Lovers of Truth more than of Tales , and who will not be persuaded that true Honour can subsist without common Honesty , or that seeming Justice is one of the Cardinal Virtues , any more than the Picture of a Man is a true Man .

Plain-dealing ! says the Time server , ( whose prime Care is to keep on the warm side of the Hedge ) what makes this Stranger in our Company ? We have not seen him , or exchang'd a word with him these many years . Never since we knew what belong'd to living in the World . Such a Fellow , we heard , came once to Court in King Ahab's days , but got nothing by it but a pittiful Pension of Bread and Water , 1 Kin . 22.27 . Had the King ( or his famous Queen , our bountiful Patroness , who maintained no less than four hundred of us at her own cost ) found him fit for their Service , he had questionless been better accepted of and provided for .

If we let this Fellow alone , cryes the Parasite , ( who seldom feeds but like a Fly , at other Men's Tables , where he seasons his Talk as a Cook his Dishes , to the Tast and Appetite of those he lives by ) we must fast when others feast , and be forc'd to dig or beg , starve or steal , if we mean to live . The ancient Art of Flattery ( which wants not much of being as old as Humane Society it self ) will no longer be studied ; the Craft which hath hitherto supported us , will fall to the ground ; and a Parasite in little time will as rarely be seen in a King's Court or Noble man's House , as a Cuckow at Christmas , if we look not the better about us .

He will utterly spoil our Trade , says the Sycophant , ( who , like an ill-natur'd Curr , is wont to bite without barking ; ) We must either remove him , or not hope to get so much as a Fig by any Information we are able to contrive , though it look as like Truth as one Fig is like another .

We shall not have the liberty of telling a gainful or graceful Lye , nor of feigning any probable Circumstance , be it never so profitable , to help us at a dead lift , will the Tale-bearer say , if this New-fangled Fellow be not banish'd the King's Dominions , and sent back to the Country from whence he came .

Away with him quickly ; there 's not a verier Fool in Nature , cryes the feigned Lowling ( the ambitious Self seeker I mean , who bows and stoops , creeps and crouches , and humbles himself to admiration , in hopes of rising higher ; ) not knowing , it seems , any better way to advancement , than by double diligence to please all men , ( Superiors especially ) in all things , good or bad , right or wrong .

What an ignorant Rustick is this , says the Modern Craftmonger ; for certain this rude Fellow is lately come from Terra incognita , where they live at another rate than in any of the known civiliz'd Parts of the World . If his walking and talking be alike , he belongs without question to the Antipodes , ( his steps are so contrary to ours , ) and his Name must needs be Antipas : If not , he hath out done the famous seven Sleepers , who took but a short Nap in comparison of him , whom Morpheus hath lock'd up in we know not what Cave above a thousand years . It was longer since indeed that so bold a fellow , as Plain-dealing is known to be , could walk abroad quietly , and shew himself safely . All this while he hath dream't of a Foole Paradise , in which there is not so much as one Judas to be found : And now being come to himself , believes his dream to be true , and presumes there are none alive but such as are like him : But a little time will shew him his mistake , and convince him to his shame how great a Fool he is , in hoping to have all the World on his side , when there wants not much of a World to one against him .

Let 's search and see what Mony he carries about him : ( it is not like to be much , if his Name be Plain-dealing , and does not bely it : but if he has any , by that we may conjecture what old fashion'd Age of the World he was born in — He would teach us to be Slaves to our Words , as if a great Cardinal and Statesman had not learn't us a contrary Lesson : and , as if he were wiser than that ingenious Florentine , ( our Oracle ) would have us burthen our selves with being Religious , when by seeming so only we can do our business well enough , and much better than otherwise .

Away with him therefore , he is not for our turn , but is clean contrary to our doings — He is grievous unto us even to behold ; for his Life is not like other men's ; His ways are of another Fashion — We are esteemed of him as Counterfeits ; He abstaineth from our ways as from filthiness , Wisd . 2.12.15.16 .

All this , and a great deal worse ( no doubt ) will be said , by Parasites , Sycophants , Pharisees , Hypocrites , Dissemblers , Tale-bearers , Whisperers , and such like Enemies of Plain-dealing . The whole Tribe of Judas will open their Mouths against it ; will whet their Tongues as Swords , and let fly their Arrows , even bitter words , to do it all the mischief they are able .

If ever this poor forlorn thing ( whose Name we have not yet lost , though little else of it be left ) was hard put to it ; if ever it needed to look about warily to save it self harmless , ( if any such hope remain ) now is the time : for it hath Enemies enough to make a bigger Army than ever Xerxes own'd .

What shall we do for another Jeremiah , ( or some such man of Sorrow as he was ) to lament the loss of it ?

Who will call us the mourning Women , that they may come , and send for the cunning Women ( who are skilful of Lamentation ) that they may take up a wailing for lack of it ; that Nature being helped by Art , our Sorrow may be as great as the grounds of it are just : If any of that ancient facohy of skilful artificial Mourners can be found , now there is more than ordinary need of them , and work for them .

What good Sumaritan hi●● Wine and Oyl enough ( or Money to buy so much as is needful ) to search and heal the Wounds which the Enemies of Plain-Dealing , ( like Thieves and Murtheters ) have given it . How shall this laruised Reed be bound up and strengthen'd ? this smoaking Flax made to flame again , before it be quite extinguished ▪

What good hand will fetch a Coal from the Altar to kindle it ? And when that is done , provide store of Oyl to keep it still burning ? What fervent Elias will fetch down Fire from Heaven , not to consume the Adversaries of it , but infl●●●● t heir Hearts with ardent Affection to so lovely an Object as this ; which the Proverb confesses to have no fellow , be it never so much contemned ?

What able Physician hath skill enough to prescribe an effectual Remedy against that evil Disease ( Double-Dealing ) which is now so Epidemical ? so raging and reigning both in City and Country , that few Families escape it ; or can tell what Ingredients are strong enough to purge out so malignant and predominant a Humour ?

A great disgrace to the fruitfulness of this Island it is , that so noble a Plant as Plain-Dealing should so rarely be found , and thrive so ill among us as it doth : For what else do we lack ( or what should we want , were this as common as it needs to be ) to make England an Earthly Paradise ?

What but this have we need to borrow from other Nations , which we cannot do well enough without ?

But the Christian World , I fear , is generally so ill stor'd with this precious Herh of Grace , that it needs send to Turkey to be supplied : We may rather ●e●ch it from them , than they , if need be come over to us for it with success .

That known Sarcasm which those Infidels use , when their Promises are distrusted by any of their own Sect , hath been justifyed a thousand times over by the false and fraudulent dealing of Christian People , ( so called , but undeservedly , ) and much of●ner I fear it will be justifyed .

We have in England plenty of Cattel and Corn ; abundance of Wool and Clorn ; variety of Fish and Flesh ; store of Arms and Shipping ; Books and Learning ; and a great deal of Preaching and Hearing ; as much as in any Age ever was : but our shameful scarcity of Plain Dealing disgraces all the rest of our Plenty .

When Deborah and Barak went forth to Batte● against Sisera , there was not a Shield or Spear seen among forty thousand in Israel , Judg . 5.8 .

Plain-Dealing is that needful Armour of Proof , without which Religion can never be defended from Disgrace ; that Weapon of Offence , without which the Enemes of our Faith can never be worsted . Let us do what we can , or say what we will , they will never subscribe or submit to the Articles of our Creed , while our Words and Deeds are contrary . Without common Honesty , ( which many of them want not , ) they will not believe that true Religion can have any being . For who sees not how sorry Christians they are who come short of Heathens and Infidels in so main a point of Human Society ?

If any such Shield or Spear as this be found among more than forty thousand in England , our condition is much better than I take it to be . But I doubt , we want much of being as well provided as those old Israelites were .

Diogenes , to reprove his degenerate Citizens , went about with a Lanthorn and Candle at noon-day to seek a man , as he told his wondring Spectators , when they asked what he meant . But Athens was a Heathen Place . It is more to be wondred that Jerusalem was no better stored , when the streets of the City were commanded to be searched , and the broad places ( where the greatest concourse of People was , ) to be examined to the same intent , viz. To find a man ; a just , upright Man , that the place might be spared , Jer . 5.1 . When the Prophet therefore had lost his labour , and wearied himself to no purpose among the vulgar , ( a poor ignorant sort of people , who knew not the way of the Lord , nor the Judgment of their God , ) he went to the Great men of the place , supposing their goodness as well as knowledge to be greater than ordinary : but there he found himself no less mistaken than before . Should the like search be made among us , I would gladly hear that it proves not as vain .

It requires more time than commonly falls to one man's share , to say as much as this Subject admits . A single Tongue or Pen will not serve the turn .

In Grammar there are not words enough to give them their due Names , nor Figures enough in Arithmetick to express their number who are Enemies to Plain-Dealing : Nor am I vain enough to believe they will let any man alone who goes about to pull away the Cushions and Pillows which they lean on who love to flatter and be flatter'd .

He that can Promise himself Peace and Quietness among so many Enemies , hath more Faith than will do him good , and less Experience , than is needful to make him wary .

Hopes are , as Plato calls them , the Dreams of waking People ; but I dream not of any such happiness as that of a quiet Life , if I defend Plain-Dealing , until it shall happen to grow more in fashion ; — Bella , horrida bella , Et Tybrim multo spumantem sanguine cerno .

Doeg , I know , will whet his Tongue like a sharp Razor , working deceitfully ; and pretending to shave the face only , while his meaning is to cut the throat . Under colour of doing the Office of a Barber , he will strive to do the business of Butcher .

Demetrius will bestir himself to make an uproar , now his craft is indanger'd and his Idol undeify'd .

They who dare not lift up their hands ( like Ahab's Arch-flatterer ) to smite Micaiah on the cheek , will not spare to buffet and torment him with their Tongues as much as they are able . The whole Tribe of Judas will lay their heads together to study mischief against me , The monstrous Herd of Parasites , Sycophants , and such like Cattel as would leave neither Root nor Branch of the rare Herb which I write of , in being , could they have their way , will be at me tooth and nail , hoof and horn .

Now , or never look to thy self Plain dealing ! Keep that little ground thou hast left , or shortly thou wilt not have room enough to set thy Foot on .

Now , or never , O Fortitude ! stand by me , while I plead the Cause of this poor persecuted Pilgrim , ( who was anciently an Inhabitant of England , but hath shewn himself so rarely among us these many years , that few People know him ; and the most suspect he is lately come hither from some remote part of the World , to disturb the Peace of the Nation , as if we had not factious Natives enough to save him that Labour . Now therefore , O Fortitude , stand by me . ) Now direct me Prudence ! Assist me Patience ! Be thou my Companion , O Constancy ! Be thou my Patron , O Justice ! If any thing besides thy bare Name and Picture is left among Mortals . Justifie now the skill of Apelles , Zeuxis , or whoever it was that first represented thee to the World with Sword and Ballances . Let thy Scepter sway and govern in humane Affairs . Take thy Sword in hand to cut off all Partiality , Hypocrisie and double dealing . Brandish it against all that abuse thy place and office ; against all that crave thy help in wrong Causes ; against all that call Oppression and Violence by thy Name ; against all that obtrude a false counterfeit Picture of Justice upon us instead of thy divine self . Let thy Ballances be employ'd to weigh the difference of Causes , and not of Persons only who flee to thee for Succor : that none may say thou hast taken an eternal farewel of the Earth , and resolvest to keep residence in Heaven only , till the Worlds end ; which we cannot expect should , without thy Company , continue much longer .

Be thou my Friend , O Equity ! that might and malice oppress me not .

Help me all ye Sacred Powers ! without whose aid Plain-dealing will never be able to support it self . You are the Props and Pillars which must bear it up ; forsake it not now , if ever ye intend to keep it from falling on the ground to be trodden under foot .

I had scarce time to finish my Petition , before Fortitude , knowing me to be somewhat acquainted with the Prince of Latin Poets , cryed out in his words , Tu ne cede malis , sed contra audentior ito . Aen . 6. and told me , that none of her followers used to desist from Noble Enterprises for fear of danger . And because I had sometimes been conversant with another Artist of the same Faculty and Age ; she brought to my remembrance an incouraging passage of his , of a like nature , which was this : Virtus , recludens immeritis mori Coelum , negatâ tentat iter viâ .

Hor. Carm . l. 3. Od. 2.

She forgot not neither , that memorable Saying of the Divine Philosopher , ( as a Learned Christian thought fit to call a less Learned Heathen , whose company , when better at leisure , I had kept and profited by ; ) as fit for her and my purpose , as either of the former , viz. Avida periculi res est Virtus , & quo tendat non quid passura sit cogitat . Quoniam & quod passura est , gloriae pars est . Senec . Cur . bon . mala con . c . 4.

A great deal more she had said , and confirm'd it all by Examples , ( which she carefully kept in her golden Cabinet of History , to be used as Cordials on special Occasions to keep her followers in heart , ) but that she saw me in haste , and knew that I longed to hear what her Sister Prudence ( who stood by her , and is seldom or never out of her Company ) would answer to my Request .

Prudence promised to be on my side , if I would not hereafter trust those who speak one thing sitting , another standing : And advised me likewise never to seek or regard the favour of angry People , if I purposed to have her Company . For which she brought the Authority of as great a Master of Prudence , as ever undertook to give subtilty to the simple , and pointed with her Finger to the place where he saith , Make no Friendship with an angry man . Prov. 22.24 .

Patience said she would abide with me , unless Oppression , her mortal Enemy , caused her now and then to step aside a little . For Oppression , she said , the wisest , as well as wealthiest of Kings , hath assur'd us , will make a wise man mad . Eccl. 7.7 .

Constancy told me , she had been abus'd often by the foul Mouth of Calumny ; which sometimes reproached her with the scandalous Name of Contumacy ; and sometimes reported her to be desperately sick of a pestilent Disease called Pertinacy or Pervicacy , that every body might shun her Company .

Here I was somewhat in doubt what would follow this preamble , and began to suspect that Constancy her self was grown weary of her old Cubical posture , intending hereafter to play Proteus , and act the Chamelion ; but that she continued her Speech , and said , That wise men laugh at the frights and fears of Children and Fools : That honour and dishonour , bad report and good report , is the common road and beaten path to which she hath ever been accustomed since first she was able to travel abroad in the World : That considering People knew her well enough , and would call her by her right Name , though the ignorant or malevolent miscalled her never so often : That the praises of worthless People are no Commendations , nor their dispraises disgraces among the Intelligent ; That her care was to please the best , not the most , who are commonly the worst . Other Discourse to the same effect , which I was not a little glad to hear , she entertain'd me with ; and at last for a close , used these , or some such words : That as hitherto she had not been afraid or asham'd to shew her face in a good cause , so now she resolved that she would not desert me , which indeed was the thing I look'd for .

Justice confessed , that she had not a better Friend upon Earth than Plain-dealing . Without it , she said , it was not possible for her to subsist : And for that reason protested , that if any body did me wrong for taking her Friends part , she would take it as done to her self , and assur'd me , that what ever loss I sustain'd in defence . of so good a cause , should sooner or later be repair'd .

Plain-dealing , said Justice , ( being troubled to hear her old Friend so slander'd and abus'd , as hath been related ; ) if it be not more countenanc'd and practis'd than for too many years past it hath been , my honourable Judges will never be able to sit upright on my Tribunal : my Learned Advocates , who plead at my Bar , will be subject to an old censure , which hath said , that their Art is to urge and inforce Probabilities and pictures of verity more than verity it self ; And , as Didymus , King of the Brachmans , plainly told the great Alexander , their chief study will be to make Lyes look like Truth , and guiltiness to seem as clear as Innocency it self .

My Delight , said she , is to see Judgment run down as Waters , and Righteousness as a mighty stream , Amos 5.24 . And as running water is clear and clean without mud or dirt intermingled , so I love to see Judgment run clearly and cleanly without any mixture of Partiality , Hypocrisie , Double-dealing , or any other filthiness whatsoever . When the course of Righteousness is not stop'd , or turn'd aside by Delay , Might , Malice , Violence , Oppression , or any wrong-dealing besides ; but agrees to the flowing of a mighty stream , which runs swiftly , carrying all before it , and scorning to be hindred or diverted ; This to me , said Justice , is the pleasantest sight in the World ; But , as long as Plain-dealing is out of request , Judgment will be turned into Gall and Wormwood , and the fruit of Righteousness into Hemlock , Amos 5.7.6.12 . Instead of a just upright sentence ( that sweet and pleasant fruit of Righteousness ) nothing will be found but what is bitter and distasteful , like Gall and Wormwood , or deadly and destructive , as the Juyce of Hemlock . My venerable Name will be pretended to wrong and abuse poor feeble people who have no body to take their part , though my whole business is to do every one Right . Wrath and Avarice , with other Vices and Passions , will usurp my Throne , and yet carry the matter as confidently as if not they , but I my self only possess'd it . The person of the wicked , if potent , will be accepted , to overthrow the Righteous , if poor , in Judgment ; as bad as it is to be guilty of such Evil-dealing , Prov. 11.5 . The one will be justified for a Reward , and the Righteousness of the other will be taken from him , as much as the Lord hates and threatens those who do it , Esa . 5 : 23.

Those old Proverbs [ Might justles out Right ; Money masters all things ; As a Man is friended so his matters are ended ] which have been too long in fashion , will never grow out of date till Plain-dealing be more in use ; Laws will never cease to be like Spiders webs , which let go the great , and hold fast none but little flies ; ( as a certain Philosopher finely expressed a foul matter : ) Lawyers will never leave striving to make the worse side look like the better : The Strifes and Suits of their Clients will be perpetuated from Age to Age , and not from Year to Year , or Term to Term only ; and sometimes their Causes , though never so good , will be forced as far back in Hillary as they went forward in Michaelmas Term , like Penelope's Web , which lost as much by Night as it got by Day ; That free Course I delight in will be obstructed by dilatory Pleas , and groundless Demurrs , to keep injur'd People out of their Right . Publick Thieves , as my grave Cato said , will be brave fellows , ( richly attir'd and drawn up and down in Coaches to take their Pleasure ) while private pilferers are kept in fetters , or drawn in Carts to places of Execution . For the same fault one will be punish'd , while another , as guilty , or more , is pass'd by ; That sharp Censure , whose Piercing Point Petronius directed against the Age which he lived in , Jam nunc Judicium nihil est nisi publica merces , i.e.

That Judicature is nothing else but the exercise of publick Merchandise , will be as proper for the present or future times , as it was for his own . And his Question .

Quid faciunt Leges ubi sola pecunia regnat ?

What have Laws to do where Money alone reigns ? will as much need to be asked hereafter as longer since .

With a little more warmth than before , ( as I perceived by the manner of her Speech , which was afterward interrogative , ) Must I , said Justice , be made a Hackney Jade , to be back'd and spur'd by the Passions of ungodly People , ( by Pride , Wrath , Malice , Avarice , and abundance of other bad Riders , ) to carry them to their Journey's end of Injury and wrong ? Must I be sent Poste to serve their hasty and corrupt Humours ? or be used to run the Race of Revenge for them ? Far be this from me . My coelestial Extraction is against it . My Divine Nativity forbids that any such abuse should be done me . Yet this cursed Drudgery , if Plain-dealing , which would ease me of it , be suppressed , I shall never be able to avoid .

He needs as good a memory as Cyrus is reported to have had , ( who could call a hundred thousand Souldiers , which his Army consisted of , by their several Names , ) that would count all the Mischiefs and Abuses , which Justice said could never be prevented without the help of Plain-dealing ; and I think it would tire a Reader of but ordinary Patience to run over the one half of them , were I able to recollect and set them down in order . But it is not my purpose to try , much less to tire his patience .

I will therefore end the repetition of her Discourse with a memorable passage , which I cannot easily forget , whatever others do . Nicholas Clemangis , another special Friend of mine , said Justice , in his time told the world , That in France I was bought and sold like Cattel and Slaves in a Market , and that there was more of me in Hell than in that Kingdom . For which he gave this reason : In Hell no good man suffers , nor any wicked man goes unpunish'd . But in France it was contrary ; The good were there persecuted , the guilty passed by . About which she referred me to his 10th and 13th Books , de laps . & reparat . Just . for further satisfaction .

This Report or Complaint of his she confess'd would fit any other place where Matters are carried as in France ; but God forbid , said she , that ever it should be true of England ; though it cannot be hoped to be otherwise unless the Credit of Plain-dealing be kept up .

In fine , she told me , that none of her Friends Enemies could be her Friend ; and renewed her promise of taking me into protection .

She denied not indeed that her way was many times so blockt up by false Informations and other Impediments , that she could not come at honest people to help them ; nor they at her for Assistance ; but assur'd me withall , that if craft , violence , or any other Enemy which stood in her way should hinder her from doing me Right here on Earth , she would not fail to make me amends in a better place , where now for the most part she keeps residence , though she doth not so closely confine her self there , but now and then she visits the Earth , whatever the Poets have gone about to persuade the World . All shall be well , were her last words .

Est bene non potuit dicere , dixit erit .

Equity , having wondred a while , as just cause she had , that so sweet natur'd a Creature as her self should find so little kindness , and so cold Entertainment among Christians , whose Righteousness ought to be greater than the greatest of all other Religions , Math . 5.20 . whereas that great Man of the East , who had not his fellow upon Earth while he lived , and whose Name will never be blotted out of the Book of Fame while the World stands , was so tender of her , that he despised not the Cause of his Man-servant or Maid-servant , when they contended with him , Job 31.13 . And the Conquerour , surnamed the Great , loved her so dearly , that he would not hear a Plantiff or Accuser but with one of his Ears only ; the other being stopt with his finger , and kept for the Defendent ; by which it appears how close he came up to the Sence of that grave Sentence which was written long after his Death ; Qui statuit aliquid parte inauditâ alterâ , Aequum licet statuerit haud aeqnus fuerit . Sen. Med .

Which in English tells us , that he is not equal himself who judgeth before both sides have been heard , though his Sentence be equal . For it is not Choice but Chance , not Virtue but Hap which in such a case does the business ; which Equity therefore owes him no thanks for : Having wondred a while , I say , at this , at last she spake thus , or to this effect .

That Plain-dealing is as near of kin to her as the Soul to the Body which it inlivens , and as needful for her subsistence as the Eye for the sight of the Body , or the Sun for the Light of the World . That without it she is but a bare and empty Name ; That the Proverb which gives losers the liberty of speaking may go a begging for any service it can do an innocent Sufferer ; And that men made after the Image of God would be far worse treated , and in a sadder case than Balaam's dull Beast ( whom the mad Prophet her Master permitted to speak for her self , ) if Plain-dealing be laid aside .

My business , said she , is to mitigate the severity , and smooth the roughness of Laws , which would sometimes do more hurt than good , if I did not hinder it . For that end my Sister Justice makes frequent use of me as a Lenitive , to keep her from growing over sharp , soure and eager . But if Sycophancy and other Enemies be suffered to shut out Plain-dealing , that it cannot enter my Courts , men will never be to seek of malicious , fraudulent , forced and strained Senses and interpretations of Laws and Statutes to pervert and overthrow the Causes of my Clients .

But if ever I consent to any such Dealing , or any thing else that is contrary to Plain-dealing , let me forfeit my Name , said Equity , for a farewel , and be called Iniquity for ever hereafter . And withall encouraged me not to fear the power , number , or Clamor of any such Enemies as Plain-dealing hath ; or might probably stir up against me for defending her .

Some will say , I had better by far have been silent ; rather than by handling a red-hot subject to indanger the burning of my fingers . But I say , That it is not the badness of the Leather so much as the Knavery of the Tanner which offends me . And I think there are few Dogs so dull and fullen but will bark to see a pudden creep .

Monstrous rarity will make any man that hath a Tongue to speak , break silence , as naturally as hunger will compel him to break his fast .

It is no news to me , That as Flattery gets Friends , so Plain-dealing makes Enemies ; yet I love it not the less ; being sensible that the Sun and Moon may as justly be accused of Idolatry for having been worship'd , and that Wine may as well be condemned for causing Drunkenness , as Plain-dealing can be cryed down for stirring up Strife . The poor harmless Creature never intended any such thing . The pride , rage , and wrath of mankind , with other Affections and Lusts , ( which they labour not to mortifie , nor will take any care to crucifie , let St. Paul say what he will ) must bear the blame .

Well! the worst to be said of it , is , That if by accident it hath been my Enemy , who can tell but that at last it may turn about and become a Friend ? ( A man of more wisdom and greater Experience than any man living , forbids me to despair of such a change , Prov. 28.23 . He that rebuketh a man , afterwards shall find more favour than he that flattereth with the Tongue . ) But if no such turn happen , I am sure however that no honest man can be an Enemy to it . And I heartily wish I could love my other Enemies as intirely and unfeignedly , as this .

Now if the Enemies of Plain-dealing find fault with me for presenting them with a Pearl , and treat me with nothing but pebbles or worse stones instead of Bread ; ( for who knows not that it is proverbially honour'd with the Name of a Jewel , and none but a stranger to the rarity and value of it can deny it to be worthy of the Name , ) I will only answer them , in imitation of what Crastinus said to Julius Caesar , when that great Battel between him and his Son-in-Law ( for the Empire of Rome ) was ready to be joyn'd ; That Plain-dealing will give me thanks either dead or alive .

The rarity of this admirable Jewel is indeed lamentable ; but that makes the value of it the greater . The harder it is to be found , the more it deserves to be esteem'd ; for although it is and hath been long out of fashion , it should never be out of season ; but like Bread and Salt , it ought to be brought to the Table every Meal , let what will else be set on .

To divers other Gems many excellent properties have been ascrib'd , which I cannot tell whether any ones Experience hath yet proved to be true ;

The Emerald and Jacinth are affirm'd to be cordial .

The Carbuncle too , they say , strengthens the vital Spirits , chaseth away Melancholy , and resisteth Poyson .

The Jasper , they tell us , cheereth the heart , stancheth blood , and contributes to Chastity ; which last property is also attributed to the Chrysolite , Topaz , Onyx and Sardonyx stones . And if it be true , this wanton Age hath more than ordinary need of them . As also the Amethist , if it doth not bely its name , but is good against Drunkenness , was never more needful in England than at this time it is .

The Saphir they hold to be a good remedy against Tumors and Inflammations . The Chrysopras is said to remove dimness of sight , and the Turkey-stone to help weak Eyes . The Ruby , we are told , not only cleareth the Eye-sight , but preventeth frightful Dreams .

Against other distempers these and other precious stones have been held Medicinal . Which if it be true , the wonder is the less that we have them so far fetcht , and dear bought .

But let these things be as they will . Let the Students of Natural Philosophy and Physick make good their reports if they can .

The Jewel which I write of , hath all these and many other vertues besides ; which were never more needful among English People than now .

A greater Cordial to cheer the Spirits and keep the heart from sinking into the heels , was never known : For as great a Saint as he was who rejoyced in tribulation , Rom. 5.3 . he confessed himself beholding to Plain-dealing for that rare and admirable sort of joy , 2 Cor . 1.12 .

A more quick and lively Corrasive to fret off proud flesh was never try'd . The King of Babylon had a wonderful Cure wrought on him by vertue of this Remedy apply'd to his Malady ( O rare , and strange ! ) by the hand of a Courtier . Dan . 4.

A better Antidote against Poyson Mithridates himself knew not . Thence it is that Parasites , Pharisees , and all Hypocrites ( whose dissimulation is as deadly Poyson ) can no more abide it , than a Serpent the taste of a man's fasting spittle .

Doth any man know a better Collyrium to clear the Eyes , and help weak sighted People to see themselves as well as other Objects , that none may have cause to upbraid them with the Proverb of being blind at home , quick sighted abroad ? He is no Friend to Mankind , if he will not reveal the Secret .

It contributes to Chastity too , as divers precious stones are said to do . King David never transgressed the seventh Commandment again , after Nathan had plainly applyed the Parable of the poor man's Ew-Lamb to his case . If the like Sinners were as plainly told who will judge them in another World , though they never suffer any Punishment in this , besides the rottenness of the bones , which commonly they are subject to , their number would be less .

Whether Nature is stored with any such Remedy as deserves the Name of a Catholicon , I cannot tell . But Plain-dealing being seasonably and rightly applied , is apt to cure any Spiritual Distemper whatsoever ; And I make no doubt but that the Defect of this excellent Remedy is much the cause that Iniquity abounds so much as it doth .

For the most , it is manifest , love to be flatter'd ; and , as if they were not able to flatter themselves fast enough , are glad to meet with any body that will do them that ill office . Which , because it is seldom or never done gratis , makes the number of Flatterers so great , and the company of Plain-dealers so small , as all good people see and lament it to be .

The work is so sordid , that they need to be well paid for their pains who meddle with it ; yet abundance of dirty folk there are who refuse it not for the love of gain ( though is but filthy Lucre ) which comes by it .

The rest , who think it base and beneath them to foul their Mouths with Flattery , will not open their mouths ( many of them ) to prescribe a dose , dram , or scruple of Plain-dealing to those poor , weak , Sin sick People , who might possibly be recover'd of their grievous Distempers by a seasonable Application of the Remedy they stand in need of .

Many a Pick-thank Tale-bearer and Intermedler has driven a far gainfuller Trade , ( though it is little or nothing better or honester , ) than the busiest or greatest Pick pocket of them all . But if they do not know whose property it is to be medling , let them learn of the wisest , as well as wealthiest of Kings that ever was , who tells them , Prov. 20.3 . It is an honour for a man to cease from strife ; but every Fool will be medling . And to save them the labour of having any thing to do with matters that belong not to them , let them take the same Royal Tutor to teach them who such a one is like , Prov. 26.17 . He that passeth by and medleth with strife belonging not to him , is like one that taketh a Dog by the Ears . And vers . 22. Where there is no Wood there the Fire goeth out : So where there is no Tale-bearer the strife ceaseth . vers . 23. The words of a Tale bearer are as wounds , &c. But in the 25th verse , he saith , When he speaketh fair believe him not , &c.

There are another sort of People , I know , who perswade themselves that Honesty and Honour can subsist asunder ; ( the later , I mean , without the former , for the former depends not on the later . ) The monstrous , Progeny of that wild imagination are those high and mighty Sinners of all sorts and sizes , who think themselves , and are thought by the vulgar , to be honourable , though they have not , sometimes , as much as a spark of Grace , or grain of Goodness to render them really so . But the better Opinion , or rather the very truth is , that as Faith without Works , and a Body without a Soul is dead ; so Honour without Honesty is liveless ; as very a Fiction as all the Centaurs , Chimera's , and Cyclopical Monsters which occur in Poetry , or Romantick History .

Now let any considerate Person tell me , what just cause of wonder is left why Sin is so rife , and Sanctity so rare , while Plain-dealing , like a black Swan , or Phenix is so hard to be found .

But the worst of it is , that much of that Salt which should season the rest of the World , is it self grown unsavoury . Double-dealing is crept in among the Clergy themselves . Church-men too , as well as Tradesmen , and most other Lay-men , are provided of a Heart , and a Heart , as the Sacred Tongue expresses , what we call a double Heart , Psal . 12.2 .

Sacerdos est non fallet ; Christianus non mentietur ; Think not that a Priest will deceive , or a Christian make a Ly , was wont to be said of old ; But the truth of that Proverb is much worn out ; those golden days are gone ; our Silver is become dross ; our Wine mingled with water ; we live in an Iron Age . Jerom's advice to Nepotian ( Sacerdotis Christi os , mens , manusque concordent , that the thoughts , words and deeds of his immediate Servants , in whose mouth no guile was found , should be one ) is well enough known , but as little followed by some , as if it were contrary to Ecclesiastical Policy . And I wish the Fellow in the Play who boasted how well he could King it , had wanted cause to say , That for Flatterers he would furnish himself with the best Divines that Money could procure . For what cannot Money buy ? Was not Christ himself sold for it .

But if Double-dealing is double Iniquity in other men , how many-fold Impiety is it in Clergy-men ?

I will not therefore add to the number , already too great , but do the best I can to diminish it .

And if that which I offer , is a Jewel , ( as hath fairly been prov'd , ) there is no reason the roughness of the case wherein it is lodg'd , should be found fault with .

If real asperity can be objected against it , no less man than the Emperor , who used to say , Non acerba sed blanda nocent , That smooth words are apter to do mischief , than sharp , will become my Apologist .

And the wise King allows the use of words as sharp as goads ( to quicken ) and nails ( to fasten . ) Eccles . 12. For his Tongue needs to be tipt with Steel , to be as sharp as Doeg's , as bitter as Balaam's , as keen as a Rasor , and as cutting as a two edged Sword , that would worthily rebuke so cursed and common a fault as double-dealing is . When as foul and filthy Crimes are found amongst Christians as of old made the Cretians infamous , why should they escape that smart reprehension which no less man than an Apostle hath awarded them , Titus 1.13 . Rebuke them sharply , &c. When the Disease is grievous , and the Patient strong , what good can a mild and gentle Medicine do ?

A desperate Case needs a desperate Cure . When a Patients Life lies at stake , and must needs perish without present help , what Physician of value will spend time in begging leave to do his office ? Is it not a great deal better that unruly Patients should be lanced and bleeded by force , than cast away for want of needful attendance ?

It is known what Creatures they are by whom Pearls are contemned . If I meet with such , let them know that I value their displeasure as little as they value the Pearl which they judge so unworthy of acceptance .

But the main matter is , that when poor-men have Pearl to dispose of , wise-men will be ready to ask whence they had them ? and how they came by them ? that so they may undervalue that , which if a rich man had the disposal of , they must buy at a dear rate .

Some potent Oppressors think it strange to hear their unjust deeds question'd , or complain'd of , and look to be thanked for the wrong which they have done , for fear they should do more : And some crafty Dissemblers are apt to cry peccavi when their Consciences tell them they have not offended ; that by fraud and flattery they may win a Superior's favour , which by fair means they despair of attaining . But a generous mind will rather dye in the Dirt , than get out of it by baseness .

Skilful Flattery hath done many a man more service than real Vertue could ever do some others : But I look on a Flatterer as a Monster , who can neigh like a Horse , and if need be , bray like an Ass ; roar like a Lyon , low like an Ox , bleat like a Sheep , bark like a Dog , howl as a Wolf , and what not ? He can weep with the one and laugh with the other Eye ; can weep without Sorrow , and laugh without Joy . Not Sympathy but Company makes him merry or sorry . Proteus himself was never a greater Changeling , nor Chimaera an odder Monster .

— Rides ? majore cachinno Concutitur : flet , si lacrymas adspexit amici , Nec dolet . Igniculum brumae si tempore poscas , Accipit Endromidem : Si dixeris aestuo , sudat . Nocte dieque potest alienum sumere vultum . Juven . Sat. 3.

Might I have my choice I had rather be , or be thought the worst of those Creatures above nam'd than a Parasite . For in them ( if any thing be , yet ) nothing is culpable but what is natural , which they cannot help : but a Parasite is a voluntary piece of monstrosity ; a Monster of his own making ; His own parent and product .

Nat. hist . l. 2. Noct . Attic . 9.4 . Pliny and Gellius , out of the ancient Greek Authors , tell us of some Families in Africa , who had a faculty of bewitching with their tongues . Whatever it was which they spake in praise of , never prosper'd ; whether trees , corn , children , horses , cattel , or any thing else which was worthy of commendation in its kind . As great and bad Witches are Flatterers . They kill and destroy by commending . So Ahab , we know , was flatter'd to death by his false Prophets , who applauded his purpose of commencing a War which cost him his Life . Now that any should love to be injur'd by this latter sort of Witches , is a greater wonder to me than that such as the former should indeed have been found .

For a Parasite's Tongue ( if St. Austin was a competent Judge , Enarr . Psal . 59. ) is more mischievous than a Persecutor's hand : And a great deal better , in his opinion , it is to be reprehended by any one , tho' never so much an Enemy , or inferior , than commended by such a one .

When a Whelp of that litter had fawn'd upon Sigismund the Emperor , and extol'd him above merit and measure ; he received nothing but blows for a reward . Why dost thou beat me ? O Emperor ! said the Parasite : And why dost thou bite me ? O Flatterer ! said the Emperor , with more reason . For of wild Beasts the Sycophant , of tame the Flatterer bites hardest , quoth Diogenes .

What a happy World would there be , were the rest of this filthy Faculty so serv'd , and no otherwise paid for their pain !

Were those dirty Dogs driven away , there would shortly be room for Plain-dealing .

A Flatterer would not then be taken for a Friend , no more than an Ape is thought to be a Man , though it look the most like him of any other Animal : nor should Tell-Troth be hated as an Enemy .

Briefly ; The bitterest potion of Reprehension would rather be swallowed than the sweetest Poyson of Adulation , if all other men were of Sigismund's mind , as , in this at least , I wish they were .

Whether I can live on herbs , like Diogenes , I know not ; but am sure that my mind doth not serve me to flatter like Aristippus , however : And although I love peace and quietness as dearly as any Man , yet I see no cause to purchase their company by a sordid silence .

I expect to be blamed for writing so freely .

My Answer to that , is , I wish there were no cause for so doing .

Some will be apt to tell me , that Socrates by following Truth too close at the heels got such a kick as had like to have cost him his life . Which made Plato the more wary of speaking his mind too freely .

To which I reply , that I am not insensible of the danger . Flattery gets Friends ; Plain-Dealing makes Enemies . To reprove in the gate is the way to be hated , Amos 5.10 . They hate him that rebuketh in the gate , and they abhor him that speaketh uprightly . Briers and Thorns use to scratch ; and the nature of wasps and nettles is to sting : But whatever Socrates suffer'd , or how crafty soever Plato was to keep out of harms way , Diogenes was and would be Diogenes to his dying day .

It is not the property of good blood , as they say , to bely it self . Sordid fear is worse than Death ; and if every one should shun the ungrateful Office of rebuking in the gate , when would the Mouth of Iniquity be stopped ? or what hope would be left for the poor ? Job . 5.16 .

I know not whether I shall be put to the trouble likewise of answering for defending the Cause of Plaindealing no better . But if that be expected too ,

1. What wonder is it that some wry stitches are made in a work patch'd up in haste , and often interrupted by more importunate business ?

Pluribus intensus minor est ad singula sensos .

2. In the noise of Axes and Hammers it is hard for the best Musitian to tune his Lute , Harp , or whatever other Instrument he delights in .

3. Tho' abundance of humane writings are subject to that just censure which Clemens of Alexandria Serom . l. 1. p. 272. hath passed on the Greek Philosophy , Having shells to be thrown away as well as kernels to be eaten ; and are too often found to be but a mixture of good and bad , a heap of precious and common things met together : yet Pliny the elder ( as his Nephew relates Epist. lib . 3. Ep. 5. ) was wont to say , Nullum esse Librum tam malum qui non aliqua parte prodesset , That no Book was so bad but some good might be gotten by reading it .

If in this which I have written there is nothing at all worth the Reader's While , let him grant me his Pardon for this first offence , and I will give him Security never again to abuse the Press or his Patience whilst I live .