The Life of H.H. with the relation at large of what passed betwixt him and the taylors wife in Black-friars, according to the original : likewise particular remarks of his behaviour ever since, which proves (tho times change) him to be the same H.H. still. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription B25973 of text R18702 in the English Short Title Catalog. Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 95KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 37 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2018 B25973 Wing L2029A ocm 11749218

This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. Searching, reading, printing, or downloading EEBO-TCP texts is reserved for the authorized users of these project partner institutions. Permission must be granted for subsequent distribution, in print or electronically, of this text, in whole or in part. Please contact project staff at eebotcp-info(at)umich.edu for further information or permissions.

 Early English books online text creation partnership. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 2, no. B25973) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 199117) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 3:46c) The Life of H.H. with the relation at large of what passed betwixt him and the taylors wife in Black-friars, according to the original : likewise particular remarks of his behaviour ever since, which proves (tho times change) him to be the same H.H. still. Hills, Henry, d. 1689? [18], 54 p. Printed for T.S., London : 1688. Caption title: The prodigal returned to his Father's house. "To the reader" signed: William Kiffen. "A premonition to the reader from the hand of a friend" (p. [5]) dated and signed: July 15, 1672. Daniel King. Dedicatory epistle (p. [11]) signed and dated: Henry Hills ... Jan. 28, 1650. Reproduction of original in Harvard University Libraries.

Header created with script mrcb2eeboutf.xsl on 2016-01-28.

Manually keyed and coded text linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines.

Issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements).

Keying and markup guidelines available at TCP web site (http://www.textcreationpartnership.org/docs/)

 eng Repentance. eebo The Life of H.H. : with the relation at large of what passed betwixt him and the taylors wife in Black-friars, according to the original : likewise pa n/a 1688 73 17549 435 0 0 0 0 0 247.88 F The rate of 247.88 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the F category of texts with 100 or more defects per 10,000 words. 2014-05 Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2014-11 Sampled and proofread 2014-11 Text and markup reviewed and edited 2015-03 Batch review (QC) and XML conversion

THE LIFE OF H. H.

●●th the Relation at large of what passed betwixt him and the Taylors Wife in Black-friars , according to the Original .

〈…〉 likewise particular Remarks of his Behaviour ever since . Which proves ( tho times change ) him to be the ●ame H. H. still .

LONDON , ●… nted for T. S. in the Year 1688.

To the Reader . Reader ,

HEre is presented to thy view a description of the hearts great Apostasie and deceitfulness ; together with the discoveries of Gods great grace and goodness to a soul exceedingly declined and Apostatized from him : wherein God hath indeed made good what himself , Rom. 5.20 , 21. But sin abounded , grace did much more abound ; that as sin hath reigned unto death , even so might grace reign through righteousness unto eternal life , &c. And that his actings are not as the proceedings of men , Jer . 3.1 , 2. They say , if a man put away his Wife , and she go from him , and become another mans , shall he return to her again ? shall not that Land be polluted ? But thou hast played the Harlot with many Lovers , yet return again to me , saith the Lord , &c.

Satan in these last Ages of the World , hath had several forms and dresses whereby he might deceive unstable souls : nay , if it were possible the very elect .

I have with much grief of heart been an observer of the Authors Apostacy from God and his ways , and well know the grounds thereof to be what he hath herein expressed , and much rejoyce at his return : hoping it is reality and truth : and that the end of his publishing this to the World , is to own his own shame , and caution others , that they be not such as wax wanton against Christ , and his pure ( though despised ) ways : Which if it shall be matter of warning to any , the Author hath his end , and it shall be my request to the Lord , for all that profess his fear , that they may watch unto Prayer , being stedfast , unmoveable , yet always abounding in the work of the Lord .

William Kiffen .
A Premonition to the Reader from the hand of a Friend .

REader , whosoever thou art that mayest light upon this Prodigals Confession , who ( through the goodness of God ) is now come to himself ; was dead , and is alive again , was lost , and is found ; who went out full and came in hungry ; As thou art intreated to take notice ( from what the Scripture speaketh ) what the fruit of sin is , so also believe the experience of those that have felt it biting like a Serpent , and stinging like an Adder . If thou beest one that hast turned the grace of God into wantonness , and givest thy self over to lasciviousness , as this poor man hath done : It is a miracle if mercy if ever God bring thee back to his house , to seek bread there , as he hath done this stragling Prodigal . Sweet meat must have sour Sawce , I think he hath experienced it ; and blessed be God that his Servants meet with sauce , when sin is the dish that they would be feeding upon , or rather poysoning themselves withal . I beseech thee take heed , think on sobriety , run not out after vain speculations and notions , as this ( returning wanderer hath done , to his cost . Thou that rejectest the Scriptures , and wilt seem to plead all experience ; Consider , it is good to try experiences by Scripture-testimony : but I pray thee let the experience of this returning out-cast be noted by thee ; and be sure the rod wherewith he hath been whipped , and a more sharp one too , shall light upon thee , if thou account vice vertue , and wickedness thy liberty , as he hath done . Now his heart is burdened , and his life is full of troubles . But let me tell thee , there is more joy in Heaven over one sinner that repenteth , than over 99 such as thou art , that art pure in thy own eyes , and thinkest thou needest no repentance . Thou that lovest not Scripture wholsome expression , but only such as are dished out with new notions ; lo here is a new experimental exposition of the Scripture he speaketh to , and I hope really from his heart ; would thou wouldst consider it .

And you ( dear Saints ) that have seen this man in our Fathers house , and whose hearts are grieved , that for such miscarriage ( as he was guilty of ) he must needs be turned out and saw his going out with sorrow : let me tell you , methinks the things that are here written , do come from some impressions of God upon his heart , and that his repentance is real . God forbid that I should excuse any one in sin , let my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth , and my arms fall from my shoulder-blade , rather than mouth or pen should do that : but to be tender towards returning sinners , I think it is all our duties .

I beseech you confirm your love to him , lest he should be swallowed up of sorrow ; for you are not ignorant of Satans wiles .

Two things ( it may be ) some will object , I shall briefly speak to them .

1. That he hath fallen from so much light , and sinned against so much knowledge and love , and such glorious profession , and been so stubborn in it , that it is a question whether he can ever be pardoned or no .

I say it is true , he hath done so ; but yet if Christ give repentance , there is no question but he will give remission too , Acts 5. And to me it appeareth the one is given , and why then should I question the other ? Truly I think a soul must go far indeed , before any man conclude he is past cure . Remember it was once Moses fault ( though zealous for God ) that he di●… paraged mercy ; I think the Prodigal living in his Fathers house , Rom. 6. knew much of his mind , and of the order of his house , and sinned against abundance of light and love : And yet the time was not out of date to forgive him , when once he came to himself and returned : where sin reigned to death , there Grace reigned through Jesus Christ to eternal life . ●… eter went very far ( you know , if the case be well considered , yet the sweet gracious looks of Christ brought him to himself again . And methinks the case of Manasses ( if seriously considered ) was as desperate as this man's , and yet if I mistake not , God gave him both repentance and pardon .

Besides consider , the Devil that was not afraid to set upon Christ , knoweth well that if he can deceive any soul that hath knowledge and parts , such a one is like to do him the best service , when once deceived ; therefore his assaults upon him might be the more violent , being such a one .

The 2d . thing that may be objected is , That his repentance may be questioned where it be true , Job . 36. because it is not voluntary ; but imprisonment , troubles , fear of the law , &c. hath extorted it from him .

I answer , I cannot conclude so , having heard him express his grief for sinning against God , whom he hath tasted so gracious ; Against his Wife , when he had no cause so to wrong her . But friends , Hos . 2. if God will work ●… n such a way , and bind him in fetters and ●… hains , and then open his ears to discipline , ●… nd command him to depart from iniquity ; ●… hall we say it is not right ? Is not this some●… imes Gods way ? did not he thus bring ●… ome Manasses ? did he not pine out the ●… rodigal ; when do you think in likelihood ●… e would have come else ? If this be Gods ●… ethod , to hedge up Israels way with ●… orns that she cannot find her paths , ●… nd wall her with hewn stone till she ●… oncludeth it is best to return to her first ●… usband ; shall we say the work is not ●… ght because God went not in another way ? ●… et Gods love to us teach us to be loving & ●… aritable towards other ; I for my part ●… nnot but rejoyce in the return of the foul●… t sinner in the world , & magnifie the love ●… God when he healeth the backsliding of ●… y . I say no more ; But the Lord establish ●… ose that stand , and grant that every one of ●… poor wandring sheep , may be brought back to the sold , and may be willing to c●…fess and forsake their sins , as this retur●…ing Prodigal hath done ; And I shall , joyce at the Musick in our Fathers hou●… at the return of any poor starved Prodiga●… and remain through grace

The Servant of Chri●… and of his Saints . Daniel King . July 15 1672.
〈…〉 all the Saints in General , distinguished by what Name or Title soever .

DEarly beloved in the Lord , 't is for your sakes chiefly I became willing to discover this my folly : The which for a ●… g time I withstood , and prevailed ●… er such thoughts , saying , I had al●… a●y made my self a laughing-stock ●… d by-word among all that either ●… ard or knew of me , or at least such ●… th been my demeanor , or rather my ●… sdemeanor , as I could expect no less ; ●… at reason had I then to add more ●… ell to such a fire ?

But observing the dealings of God ●… th me , and finding by sad experience , ●… ery thing I took in hand was dissipa●… d in reference to my liberty ; I made ●… strict enquiry between God and my ●… n heart , Psal . 66.18 . what iniquity 't was I yet ●… arded , that the Lord did not hear my ●… ayer , in not blessing , but rather blast●… g all means I took in hand tending to ●… y liberty : I found it nothing less than ●… y duty to acknowledge my iniquities as to God , so my neighbour , to my a●…versary , Mat . 5.25 . 1 Tim . 55. before men , against whom li●…wise I had dealt treacherously and wic●…edly .

Whereupon presently I resolved 〈…〉 acknowledge and discover to the 〈…〉 most I was able , Lev . 26.40 my iniquity whic●… had committed both against God a●… man , in writing both to my Adversa●… and publickly to the World , the whic●… had no sooner covenanted and concl●…ded within my self to do : Mat . 10.32 . but the Lo●… was pleased ( and that even before I ha●… began to write ) to raise up a mea●… ( even when all my friends failed m●… even when I was without hope , and eve●… where I least expected it ; whereby imediately procured a little liberty t●… follow my calling at home at my ow●… house ; without which , in the eye 〈…〉 reason , both I and a family of seven pe●…sons had been e're this utterly ruined .

The which I had no sooner obtaine●… but began , like the Children of Israel 〈…〉 old , to turn my back upon his great mercie●… as to send Manna from Heaven , rathe●… than I and my Family should perish , an●… grew slack and careless in my performin●… what I had promised , only a little slightly once or twice spake to some friends to speak with my adversary on my be●… lf ; and once or twice sought to be re●… ncil'd to my brethren whom I had of●… ded . And having one day a violent ●… ghting within me , about my neglect ●… d carelessness in performing what I ●… d covenanted to perform , fell imme●… ately to writing for some two or three ●… urs : but a day or two after , upon ●… relating to some what I was about , ●… ey replyed there was one about such work already ; whereupon I imme●… tely diverted my thoughts another ●… y , being glad I had such an oppor●… ity to be silent .

But the time of my liberty being exiled , I returned to prison , expecting ●… d indeed not questioning ) I should ●… e renewed my liberty as before . But ●… s by Divine Providence frustrated ●… rein ; and not only so , but have been ●… er since in all I have taken in hand in ●… er thereunto ; at all which being a●… zed to behold ; I called to mind my ●… mer promise and intention ; upon ●… sideration whereof , I had that say●… brought to my remembrance , when ●… vowest a vow unto God , Eccl. 5.4 . defer not to ●… it ; upon which crying out of the ●… dness and earthliness of my base unworthy heart , that no longer then t●… Rod was on my back my eye was t●…wards my God ; I fell to wrighting , a●… writ a Letter to my Adversary , a co●… whereof is annexed to this followi●… Treatise .

The which hath been so far from b●…ing a means of obtaining my l●… berty ; 〈…〉 that my Adversary hath more violent then ever before , laboured since to hi●…der me thereof , so that I upon no ter●… could procure the least liberty since .

The which severe just hand of G●… on me , caused me to make a new a●… more stricter search into my heart , u●…on which I found I had as yet perfo●…med my promise but by halves ; A●… not hearing of any else ; who for the p●…venting of others from running of th●… sad race , that have taken that pains , 〈…〉 to discover any of the subtile Wiles Satan whereby in this our last age 〈…〉 deceives many poor Souls ; and n●… knowing but that my discovering a●…cording to that small ability God ha●… given me , what the subtilties were 〈…〉 which the Devil captivated and carr●…ed me into those far Countries , mig●… be a means to prevent others from ru●…ning into the like snares ; and for ev●… to stand amazed , admiting the unspeak●… ble love of God towards me , where●… y I was snatched , as a brand out of the ●… ternal fire of Gods wrath and firy indignation .

The consideration of all which ( I ●… ay ) hath now at last prevailed with ●… e to present to your view this ensuing Treatise , The which though it be ra●… her like a Chaos , in respect of my laying ●… own of things so disorderly and indi●… tinctly , then a world wherein every ●… hing is brought forth into its right ●… rder .

Let me therefore take that boldness , as to intreat you to be warned by this my sad experience ; And to take the wise-mans counsel ; Keep thy foot when ●… hou goest to the house of God , Eccl. 5.1 . and be more ●… eady to hear , then t 〈…〉 offer the Sacrifice of ●… ools ; for they consider not that they do ●… vil .

Remember when you make a step towards Heaven , Ex. 3.5 . Jona . 2.8 . Acts 14.15 . you must put off your ●… hoes , you must turn your back upon all ●… he vanities of this wicked world .

Have your eyes always upon your ●… eet when you approach towards God , Isa . 57.15 . Mat . 5.5 & 11.19 . ●… hat ( like the peacock ) you may there●… y be kept abased in your own self , remembering that with the humble & meek God will dwell ; Jam . 4.6 . and that he resisteth the proud , and giveth grace to the humble .

1 Sam . 16.7 . Gal. 6.7 . That 't is the heart God requires , therefore be not deceived , God will not be mocked : Do not think 't will serve your turn to be a constant hearer of Gods word , Jam . 1.23 . Mat . 15.8 . Mat . 7.6 . and not a doer ; to draw near him with your mouth , and to have your hearts far from him , to come to his house amongst his Saints with your bodies , and to leave your hearts at home , to have them in the mean time abroad in the World : Luke 12.34 . for where your treasure is ( that which ) you are most delighted with and in ) there will your hearts he also : where the carcase is , thither will the Eagles flie .

Mat . 24.28.110.26 . Nay remember that you who profess the name of Christ , ought even so to walk , as he before you hath left you a pattern : 2 Pet 3.14 . ye should study to walk spotless and blameless in this present World therein to let your light so shine before , men , Mat . 5.16 . Phil . 2.15 . that they seeing your good works , may glorify your Father which is in Heaven . Rom. 1.10 & 6.2.10.11 . Gal 3.2 & 5.24 .

That the way towards Heaven is upward , and not downward , rising continually from the death of sin , dying continually to sin ; being daily weaned more and more in your affections to this present World and the vain pleasures thereof ; and living daily more and more towards God ; your affections more and more daily in love with righteousness and holiness towards God and man .

And herein be not deceived , thinking it is enough if you but grow in the knowledge of righteousness , if you be but able to speak or make a description of such a condition ; though your heart be as much after the World and the vain pleasures thereof , Mat . 6.21 . as ever before ; though you have no more Power over your corruption , than you had before ; only you find that knowledge is a brave thing to make you appear famous amongst men ; and therefore ( it may be ) your heart may be running out after knowledge , which before was running out only after the World , and the pleasures thereof ; and this is all the change that is wrought in you , that you have left off running after the World , and the pleasures thereof ; whereby to become great and famous amongst men , and now your hearts are run out after the knowledge of the things of God , but for the same self end as before , to wit , to cloth and adorn this body with spiritual riches , Luk . 12.31 . ●… m . 5.3 . or rather pride , that so you might be admired and applauded amongst men .

Now since my intention in writing it is only for my performing of that which I judge nothing less then my duty . If God shall be pleased to make any thing therein a means to advance his glory , either in preventing thereby any from being entangled in these or the like snares , or in causing others to exalt God the more in their hearts , by reason of their beholding what great love he hath most freely manifested to me vile unworthy wretch ; being satisfied in my own heart , that what I have written is not a fiction or imagination of mine , but the truth of what I both by sad and joyful experience observed , and found in these my sad travels ; he hath obtained his desire who is ,

Your unworthy servant in Christ , Henry Hills . From my sad ( as to the outward man ) and miserable yet most just Captivity in the Fleet , Jan. 28. 1650.
THE PRODIGAL Returned to his Fathers House .

THE sadness of this our last Age being such , Epist Jude Luke 15. as that it hath brought forth many ( which that the Scripture might be fulfilled must be , ) who like the Prodigal have left their Fathers House .

Left the Society and Fellowship of the Saints ; left their being obedient to any , ●… ay all the Commands of God : left the Temple or House of God , 1 Cor . 6.19 . their own ●… odies ; left being any more at home in ●… heir own hearts ; not taking the least care what becomes of the Temple of God , Jer 7 Mat . 21.13 . Jer . 5.27 . what pollutions and defilements its filled with ; nay , suffer it to be made a Den of Thieves , a Cage of unclean Birds ; a stie where only are kept Swine : Nay , not only so , but have travell'd so far , far indeed both from peace , truth , righteousness and holiness ( which as it only becomes the house of God , so no where else is it to be found ) they have spent all their Portion , and are so necessitated for Bread , as they would gladly fill their bellies , with the Husks that only Swine feed on .

Yet finding but few of those many , that at last come to themselves , and considering that in their fathers house is Bread enough , return to their Father , confessing they have sinned against Heaven and before him , and are no more worthy to be called his Sons : Psal . 84.10 . Yet would fain be entertained into his house again , though but as one of his hired Servants , finding with David , by sad experience , That 't is better to be a door-keeper in the house of God , than to dwell in the tents of wicked men : And finding none of those few , that have returned from that sad , dangerous and most perilous journey that have ( for the preventing of other●… from running of that sad race ) declared either the danger or misery whic●… attends it , or discovered any of the subtil snares of Satan , whereby he catches , and carries them into those far Countries .

And though it hath been my sad portion to be one of those Prodigals in these our last days : Yet since the Lord out of the riches of his mercy towards me , hath been pleased to make choice of me to be one of those few which at last came to themselves ( though such was the stubbornness of my base heart , as I endured to be beaten with many stripes first , Luke 12 : 47 and considered that in my fathers house was bread enough ; yet mercy enough , notwithstanding my Soul was eaten through with hunger , by reason of the abounding of my Iniquities , my redoubled iniquities , to patdon them , all them ; Psalm 57.7 that there was water enough to wash me as white as ●… now through my inipuities I have made my self as red as Crimson : Yea not only to consider or remember , but to resolve to go to my father .

And no sooner was my heart and eye set thither-ward , Psalm 2 5.11 . crying out with David , Pardon my iniquity Lord , why , as if God should have replyed ) not because they be little or few , but because they be great or many ; as if he should ●… ay , Lord take advantage by the greatness of my iniquity , to discover thy master-piece , thy great love , thy Son , thine only Son , the richest , the choicest of thy mercies : I was ( I say ) but a while here , but I found him , ( to his praise for ever be it spoken ) no less a●… Father to me then he was a Prodigal : for while I was yet a far off , scarce gone two or three steps , scarce cryed out from the earning of my sad unworthy heart , two or three times unto him ; but he saw me , when I was yet a far off : far indeed from peace , truth , holiness or righteousness ; being in the midst of of nothing but Swine , Psal . 12.8 . & 13.13 . my own base filthy lusts , and beset therewith on every side : Yet here he saw me , even thus far off .

[ And come runing ] came indeed so swift , Can . 6.12 . as I saw him not till he met me , and fell on my neck , and kissed me : until he took my sad heart up from his bed of misery , Can . 1 , 2. Psal . 19.20 . & 119.103.8 . Pet . 1.8 . and kissed me with the kisses of his mouth : which indeed are better than wine , and sweeter they were to my taste then the honey-comb : filling me on a sudden , with joy unspeakable , and full of glory .

Wherefore I jadge it nothing less than my duty , to discover , according to that small ability God hath given me , ( though indeed the unfittest amongst the sons of men for such a work , ) the subtil snares of Satan , whereby I was carried into those far Countries . Luke 15. And the parable of the Prodigal being that , by which the Lord was pleased to discover unto me the sad condition I was fallen into ; I shall endeavour by that parable to discover it unto you .

First , Luke 1.5.12 . You find the Prodigal to be a Son .

Secondly , The youngest Son .

1. A Son : That is , such a one as God according to the visible declaration in the Gospel , had owned to be his Son ; a believer , one of the Family or Church of God .

2. The youngest Son . By youngest may be understood , the last converted , or least knowing in the house of God : But to proceed .

The first thing we meet with in this Parable to our purpose is , in verse 12. where we find him asking for his Portion : saying ,

Father give me my Portion . Psal . 12.2 . & 39.25 Ecles . 1.1 〈…〉

Man having lived along time in darkness , being acquainted with nothing but the vanities of this World : coming at ●… ast through mercy to behold some glimps of the light of the Gospel of Jesus Christ shining in and upon his dark heart , Joh . 9. is immediately set on fire of zeal after more of the knowledge of God and his truth , Mark this well . thinking that he is able now to eat any meat , that there is nothing to be done by him , but to get up to the top in knowledge of all the mysteries of the kingdom of Christ : whereby in him is hindred the effecting of that work , which God intended by his sending and giving of him that glimps ; to wit , The discovering in him the filthiness and wretchedness of his own heart , how continually in all its actions it opposes and runs from God and his truth ; loving its own darkness rather than that light , Joh . 3.91 . Joh . 1.9 . Acts 6.19.25 . Joh . 3.19 . which lightens every man that comes into the World ; fearing lest its craft should be discovered ; and therefore it loves darkness rather than light , because its deeds are evil .

Man herein being too hasty catches only the Shell , leaves the Kernel behind him , whereby he becomes fill'd with nothing but air ; puffed up with spiritual Pride , instead of spiritual truth and righteousness ; yet thinks , that because he is now filled with zeal , ( not knowing that there is zeal , not according to truth or knowledge , nor what the mean●… ing of the Apostle was , by saying , 1 Cor . 81. knowledge puffeth up ) and that only after the knowledge of the things of God ; when formerly his heart was set only after the World and the vanities thereof , That without doubt his condition is good ; he goes on firm ground , where three is no need or fear of his slipping or falling ; wherefore he cryes out ,

Father give me my Portion ; Give me all knowledge , that I may be able to dispute for , or against all opinions ; able to answer all objections , &c.

To please this foolish young man , that he might take his fill of the pleasures of the world , as to appear great and famous in the eyes of men ; his Father gives him his Portion , his desire , let s him attain to great knowledge , it being the alone mark his spiritual proud heart aims at , the only garment desirous in his eye , as having a glorious lustre , far transcending those filthy rags of drunkenness , swearing , &c. the which he formerly was only acquainted with , and did wear , and that even a holy-days .

Immediately after , or a while after , ( as some translations render it ) he gathers all together .

Attains to the knowledge of all mysteries , even of the resurrection it self , or at least he thinks so ; which so puffs him up , as he imagines he is what he knows : when it may be he never had the least inward experience of the power of God in subduing any corruption , and in bringing forth fruits of righteousness and holiness from within , but is only at present so busie in following spiritual pride , as that it hath caused him to cease from gross and outward abominations : Next

[ He takes his Journey . ]

He thinks now because he hath gotten this great knowledge , as that he is able to talk and make a description of a state and condition without sorrow : Imagining of that condition which the Scripture speaks of , Rev. 21.4 . when all sorrow shall be wiped from their eyes , &c. Having builded a Castle in the Air , which is ( as he thinks ) a true description of that condition : being so puffed up , as he cannot tell whether he be in the body or out of the body , 2. Cor . 12.2 . that he discerns nor knows no difference , betwixt knowing and being what he knows , imagines he 's got into that condition ; whence he concludes , he is now no more to know any man or thing after the flesh : 2 Cor . 5.16 . that is ( saith puft up man ) not to do any service either to God or man with his body ; but lay that aside as useless , especially in his doing any thing that is commanded him by God .

Hence he comes to leave off his obedience to all the commands of God , saying , what a poor thing it is to be praising and praying to God ? That 's milk fit only for Children , and the like ; that 's only for such as live at distance from God and Christ ; only enjoying Communion with God and Christ by Faith , having not received the promise : Heb . 11.39 . But faith he I have passed all this ; I am acquainted with a condition beyond all this ; I live in the enjoyment of that which you only live i 〈…〉 hope of , &c. And thus he spends his Portion in rioting and wantonness , 2 Pet . 2.18 . which great swelling words of his make him greatly applauded and admired by men .

By this time you may perceive he 's on his journey : well , the first City he enters into , is spiritual Sodom and Egypt ; Rev. 11.8 . where is a people fit for his Company , where is a people who neither speak , act , nor do any thing , either spiritual or temporal but as the spirit moves them ( as they say , ) not that I would have any mistake me , and think I am one who mock at the spirit , and at man for following its motions ; no , I own praying with the spirit and with understanding , 1 Cor . 14.15 as the Apostle exhorts ; But finding by sad experience that many ; nay , the most of those that pretend so much for the spirit , have no rule ( meaning such as lay aside the Scripture as a dead letter , &c. ) either for themselves or others , whereby they be able to distinguish betwixt the motions of the spirit , and the motions of the flesh ; but without questioning rather ( thinking they have no other life , and so consequently no other motions in them but the spirit of God ) what moves them , to go on , indeed following only the motions of the flesh and the lusts thereof . Ro . 1.24 .

Amongst which people presently he is as forward as the best , getting him immediately ( having a portion by him to purchase it ) a garment made of that fashion , trimmed with the richest trimming that in that City is to be got , That is , he hath such a large capacity , as that he hears no high flown opinion from the most knowing amongst them ( which he only looks after ) but immediately it is his own , he not minding any thing else , ●… ut wholly making that his work .

And now being got into the fashion , and arrayed with the richest , and ( if possible ) excelling them , He begins to keep company with the best ; and being a young man scorns to be base , spends freely , and by his good will , will pay all the reckoning , call for what you will ; That is , would have all the talk , being willing to appear a man able to dispute for or against all opinions ; answer all objections , and that to the purpose too .

But it may be by this time Conscience may a little prick , he may look back towards his Fathers house ; In detestation of such a thought , as if he were angry with himself , he replyes .

What have I ascended almost into Heaven , Luk . 9.62 and shall I now come down again to Walk on the Earth ? Have I set my hand to the plough , and shall I now look back ? ( you need not wonder that he useth the Scripture , or rather abuseth it ; for you may find it was of old the Devils wonted course , when he thought he should meet with his match , to come with Scripture in his mouth , as when he tempted Christ . ) As an antidote or poyson against such a thought , he musters up all the failings and imperfections of the Saints : and it may be he hath been a●… eye-witness to some , and they not small ones neither : As perhaps he had formerly been a member of some Church , and notwithstanding he a long time walked apart from them : yet so cold and careless were they ( the which is an evil too common among the Saints in this our last Age , with shame do I speak it ) in that their great duty which by God is required of them ; to wit , to watch in love over their Bretheren , Luk 15.4 . Mat . 18.11 . and with the good Shepherd missing but one sheep only , leaves the ninety and nine , seeking that which is lost , if possible to find it , telling him his faults between them two , &c. As that they do not so much as come once at him ; much less express towards him that love in performing their duty as of them in that case was required , with ( it may be ) many more failings which he of late only took notice of ; whereby he for ever afterwards stops his Conscience from speaking any more , looking either not at all on or towards them except it be as they be represented through their imperfections to his eye ; whereby he never afterwards speaks of them , except in upbraiding of them , saying , they be a people who have the form of Godliness , but want the power , Ro . 2.20 . 2 Tim . 3.5 . and the like . But to proceed ,

Being now in his own conceit , attain'd to such a height of perfection ( though in truth fill'd with nothing but spiritual pride ) he thinks he 's ready to meet the son of man at his second coming : like those Malachi speaks of , who say , where is the God of Judgment ? When comes he ? and the like ; Not minding what is in the next Chapter , where God answers them , saying , Mat . 2. last Mal . 3.1 . I 'le send the Messenger of my Covenant , &c. even he whom ye delight in ( at or lest profess so ) but see what follows ; But who shall abide his coming , and who shall stand when he appears ? Why , as ( if they should reply ) what 's the matter ? Its greater then you are aware of . ver. 2 For he is like a Refiners fire , and like Fullers sope : You are exceedingly mistaken about his coming , not but that he will come , but in the manner and end of his coming : for if you did with the Apostle rightly under●… ta●… d the manner and end of his coming , ●●u would say , what manner of persons 〈◇〉 we to be ? 1 Pet . 3.11 we ought to be all sil●●r for he in his coming is like a Refiners fire ; no● only fire , but the searching of fire , a fire wherein nothing will remain unconsumed but pure silver . Bu●… to return .

As Satan never is wanting in mean●… whereby to accomplish what he hat●… begun , nor never kindled a fire , but likewise will provide fuel to continue i●… with : so at last this Prodigal comes t●… hear of one or other , who are on a sudden filled with strange raptures and revelations , as that the last day is at hand and they be commanded to triumph i●… forth , &c. After which man immediately he run , crying out , none but he ; o●… whom it may be he hears a thousan●… strange notions and novelties more which like a fresh gale of wind blow on his Sails which he hath alway●… hoistered , and that as he thinks for n●… other Haven , but Heaven it self .

Upon which waves ( indeed bein●… only his own fancy and imagination ) h●… having a long time been tossed to an●… fro , even till his portion begins to gro●… small , his great confidence begins to fa●… him , he is put to his last shift , havin●… spent all his portion , all his hopes being gone of ever arriving where h●… thought he had been so nigh : being pu●… now to use his wits , he looks about hi●… and behold though all his portion be ●… pent ; yet he hath a great many good ●… uits of Apparel yet left him , which ●… ay a long time stand him instead , if ●… e do turn them the inside outward ; ●… r more plainly thus .

The Devil ( it being the last Card he hath to play ) tells him , he hath no such ●… ause to be so troubled , for he is arrived ●… fe where he desired : only he is mis●… ken , looking too carnally upon things ; ●… r Christs second coming , which he ●… oks so much for , is not carnally , but ●… iritually to be understood ; saying , ●… he Jews of old , by being tainted with ●… is thy error , rejected Christ at his first ●… ming , I say by reason of the carnalness their expectations , who expected he ●… ould have been some great Monarch earthly King : which dangerous error thine let me therefore rectify thee in , ●… t thou proceed in rejecting of him , ●… w he is come , and so with the Jews ●… ever in vain to expect him hereafter . Thy expectation is for a second com●… of Christ in the clouds ; now herein ●… hy mistake , Christs second coming ●… l not be visible to men , Joh . 14.17 but only spi●… ally in men . Wherefore do but turn ●… se thy Garments the inside outward ; do but spiritually look upon things , and you shall find he is not in Heaven , Deut . 30.13 . nor beyond the Seas , that thou shouldst thence expect him , but he is near thee , even in thy heart , and in thy mouth , he is withi●… thee , &c.

Now the poor Prodigal being almos●… spent , having run himself out of breat●… to keep his credit , is willing to use any shift , begins to follow his advice .

But there arising a great Dearth ] h●… hath no sooner turned his eye inwar●… upon the inside of his Garments , bu●… behold there is nothing but filth , o●… more plainly thus ,

He no sooner comes to turn his ey●… within himself , but behold , whilst 〈…〉 slept , Mat . 13.25 . whilst he hath been all this tim●… abroad , never having so much as cast h●… eye homewards before , Satan came a●… sowed there tares : he having been indee●… a long time one of those sluggards me●…tioned , Prov. 24.34 . whose field and ga●…den , for want of manuring and dressin●… was , the one over-run with Thorns an●… the other with Nettles , and the ston●… wall thereof broken down . The behol●…ing of which unexpected dismal sigh●… his falling into such company on a su●…den , his finding in him nothing but co●… pany of base Lusts , inviting of him it may be to Curse , Swear , Blaspheme , &c. to let these things come forth he is ashamed and loath , saying within himself , shall I who have made such a high profession , as of living above with God and Christ , of having my Conversation in Heaven , &c. shall I now disgrace my self thus ? no saith he , I 'le dye first .

But being necessitated , having now spent his portion : and being in this far strange Country , he must either work or starve , life being sweet : he is willing to any thing rather than perish , become a servant ; And he goes and joyns himself to a Citizen of that Country ( which is the Devil ) who sends him to his Farm , ( meaning the Prodigals heart ) which is now become the Citizens or Devils Farm , to keep Swine : ( you do not read of any thing else the Devil had there but Swine . ) That is , he sent him to his own heart , to keep his base Lusts ( which his heart is now full of , and of nothing else ) which lye ravening within him to come forth like Swine , who for want of Meat , will run crying and ravening up and down .

Next you find , He would fain have filled his belly with the husks the Swine did eat , but no body gave them him : Two sorts of Husks I find the Swine hath to eat , which the Prodigal would fain have filled his belly with .

First , all his great knowledge which the Prodigal had for a long time imbraced as something , he sees now to be but husks , though he would fain have filled his belly with them he cannot ; but Swine eat them up before his face ; that is , they be now turned before him into nothing but Drunkenness , Whoring , Swearing , Cursing , &c. which he now finds compassing him about .

Secondly , by husks I understand vain pleasure , which is represented to mans eye as to be had in acting of those abominations , as Whoredom , &c.

For I conceive there appeared to the Prodigals eye something in the Husks which might serve him to satisfie his hunger with : For we find the reason why he desired them , was to have filled his belly with them ; or it may be the Devil might beget this opinion in him , that it were better for him to let his corruptions come forth , for that was in order to healing , saying , it would be in vain for him to go about to administer a heavenly Plaister , until all the corruption was drawn forth from within .

Or lastly , the Devil might ( in regard he had brought them into this far country , far from all light and truth of the Gospel of Christ , Heb . 1.13 . ) perswade him that God was a God of more purer eyes than to behold iniquity , saying , the meaning of that is , it is only the impure eyes of man that sees iniquity , it 's only the weakness of mans eye , which causeth him to think he sees good and evil ; it being only the imagination of man , which is indeed a lie ; and therefore , saith he , that saying is evil to him that evil thinks ; do but you leave off such thoughts , and presently you will see that all actions and things are like , upon which man swallows presently iniquity as a fish swallows water .

He would fain have filled his belly with the husks , but no man gave them him ; even so 't is with the poor Soul , that though he see nothing but filthy Swine , and they feeding on nothing but filthy Husks , base Lusts , which hurry him into this and the other abomination , which pretend and make a swelling shew of substance or pleasure to be had in them ; but in the using appear to be nothing but emptiness , rather choaking than filling the belly ; fain would he have filled his belly with those husks , but no man gave them him , so must I needs confess to my shame , that such was the wretchedness of my unworthy heart , as that I would fain have filled my belly with those husks , let any abomination come forth , and indeed did begin to eat of those husks ; and as we find the reason why the Prodigal did not fill his Belly , was not because he would not , but because no man gave them him ; so the reason ( as to my shame , so to the Glory of God for ever be it spoken ) why I did not finish up in sin that it might have brought forth eternal death and woe , was not because I would not , but because I was prevented by the love of God , which made me come to my self , to weigh things in the ballance of Truth , searching ( like the wise Bereans ) the Scriptures ( the which before I had laid aside as a dead useless thing , Acts 17.11 . imagining I had gotten that unction whereby I knew all things , and needed not that any man teach me , 1 Joh . 2.27 . needed no mans writings , no not the Apostles and Prophets themselves , but that I had teaching enough ; nay was able to teach others , &c. ) whether those things were so or no , I began to be amazed and confounded in my self , to behold what madness , folly and vanity I had a long time been carried away with .

That I was so foolish as to believe I was travelling towards heaven and happiness , when my own conscience , ( if I had but suffered it to speak ) would have told me that the way I went was quite contrary , that it was the broad Roadway to destruction , and not only my own Conscience , but the experience of the Saints in all Ages , and above all , the Scriptures themselves would most plainly have made it manifest to me : ●… aying , Can a man gather grapes of ●… horns , or figs of thistles . Mat . 7.16 .

O that I should be so foolish as to ●… hink I could carry coals in my bosom and not be burnt therewith ; Prov. 6.27 , 28. That I ●… hould have nothing but thorns and ●… histles growing in my heart , and yet ●… hould expect in summer to gather thereof grapes and figs , that I should do no●… hing but evil , Mat . 12.25 . ver . 33. and yet expect good to come thereof : no , saith Christ , if a kingdom be divided against it self , how can ●… hat kingdom stand ? either make the tree good and his fruit good , or the tree evil and its fruit evil , make both alike .

When I came to my self , I no sooner ●… egan seriously to weigh and consider my condition , but I began to cry out for my self , wondering the wrath of God had not ere this time swallowed me up . O! That I should be so foolish , as to run after the shadow , leaving the substance behind ; That I should follow nothing but the foolish imaginations of my own heart , and not only so but to call them the motions of the spirit of God .

Joh . 4.24 . That I should pretend to worship God in spirit and truth , when I was running from God , and leaving off his Saints and people , turning my back upon all the commands of God .

Joh . 16.2 . To think with Saul , I was zealous for God and his truth , doing God good service , when I was persecuting his servants & Saints , backbiting and speaking evil o●… them ; watching that if possible I might cause any of them to stumble and fall , in leaving off their obedience to the commands of God ; rejoycing at their infirmities ; being glad when I could take any just occasion ( by reason of any o●… their failings ) to speak evil of them .

Mat . 22.11 . That I should be so foolish as to think I was prepared to meet the bride , or Christ at his second coming , when I had no wedding-garment on , Mat . 22.11 . nay instead thereof was clothed with nothing but filthy rags , base lusts , my heart running out after nothing but vanity and lies .

That I should think 't was the way to life and happiness , in order to healing , to let what abominations would come forth , to be obedient to any , nay to every lust .

And not only to act all this at home in my own heart : 1 Cor . 6.15 , 16. to fill the Temple of God with all these idols , but to manifest this my folly to all the World , and to contend for them as things fit to be minded .

I say when I came so to my self , as seriously to behold all this , finding that I was gotten into a way , which was as the wise-man saith , Prov. 16.25 . There is a way that seemeth right unto a man , but the end ( or issues ) thereof are death ; though it did seem to me right , even that which would bring me safe to my expected end , glory and happiness , yet I find the issues thereof was nothing so ; and came at last to see the way I was in , led to destruction .

I said with the Prodigal , , how many hired servants of my Fathers have bread enough , and to spare , and I perish here with hunger ? How many are there , which as yet know not that they be adopted sons of God , as know not their interest in Christ ; who though they do believe , yet they cry , Lord help my unbelief , to whom Christ hath not given an answer : yet such is the fulness of my Father●… house , as they have bread enough and to spare , have so many secret upholding and whisperings of the spirit of life and truth in them , as keeps their spirits from fainting , and moreover gives them many causes of rejoycing : all which at present to consider , wounded me the more ; I perish here for hunger . But through mercy , having some hope yet left as to know those God loves , he loves to the end , and that his mercies endure for ever . Joh . 13.1 . I said , I will arise and go to my Father , and confess I have sinned , &c.

I will no longer lie in this bed of filth , I will arise , Ps. 105.8 . & 111.9 . & 119 8.9 . I will no longer go after the lusts and abominations of my base heart , but go to my Father , go and be obedient to all the commands of God , throwing my self down at the foot of God , saying , Lord though I perish , yet will I trust in thee , yea though thou slay me ; for there is mercy in thee that thou mayest be feared .

And say unto him , Father I have sinned against Heaven , and before thee , and am no more worthy to be called thy Son , &c. I ●… ve sinned against Heaven : against the ●… ecious Gospel of Jesus Christ ; not●… thstanding thou unbosomest that rich ●… e of thine unto me , as when I was in ●… blood , cast out to the loathing of my ●… rson , and no eye pitied me , Ezek . 16.6 . even then ●… casting the skin of thy mercy over ●… e , hiding thereby all my nakedness and ●… formity against this Heaven , all this ●… ercy and love have I sinned .

2. Against Heaven , against the Saints ●… d people of God ; in causing the way ●… truth to be evil spoken of , thy Saints ●… braided and contemned , and thy ●… me dishonoured ; and slighted all thy ●… ecious commands and ordinances , and ●… rned my back upon them , despising ●… d trampling them under my feet : ●… gainst Heaven yet more than all this ; ●… t thinking it enough that I disobeyed ●… l thy commands , despised all thy Saints ●… nd people , casting contempt on them , ●… t invited , ( as much as in me lay ) ●… aused others to do the same .

3. Against Heaven , notwithstanding ●… ou in mercy gavest me many regrets ●… f Conscience by the word and spirit ; ●… et by all these was not I stopped , but ●… earkened to every call , and yielded my self up a servant to sin and Satan , ma●…ing my body ( that should have been h●…ly and spotless , not suffering any defil●…ment to have come to thy temple , ) Cage wherein were all manner of u●…clean birds , a stie full of nothing b●… filthy swine , spent that portion tho●… gavest me with a Harlots .

Lord how have I trampled under m●… feet that holy Ordinance of thy Ma●…riage , in not being thankfully conte●…ted with what thou out of thine infinit●… wisdom createdst for man in the beginning , one woman , that they twain mig●… be one flesh , Gen 2 18.24 . the which being nothing le●… then a figure of that heavenly intendment of thine , the Son of thy love Chri●… Jesus , one Spouse or beloved : But despised and sl ghted this thy institution choosing rather to follow the voice o●… Satan and my own base lustful heart , an●… from thence concluded , 't was lawful fo●… me to have more than one Wife , an●… not only consented within me to this abomination , and violation of this thy law , but brought it forth into action , taking into my bosome another besides my wife , nay herein redoubling my iniquity , taking even one that was then Wife of another man ; And not only done all this wickedness in thy sight ; ●… t called this my detestable abomina●… on , righteous and good , contending ●… r it before men , though it be that ●… hich the very heathens abhor , and ●… e very brand and character of those ●… hom thou intendest shall never ●… e thy face , thy love , thy son , Heaven ●… d happiness , but for ever be cast ●… rth into utter darkness , as the Apostle ●… ul said to the Corinthians . 1 Cor . 6.9 . Know ye ●… t that the unrighteous shall not in●… rit the kingdom of God ? be not de●… ved : neither fornicators , nor Idola●… s , nor adulterers , &c. Shall inherit ●… e Kingdom of God , &c.

Yet O! Lord herein have I sinned a●… inst Heaven , and done all this wick●… ess in thy sight , Luke 12.47 . 2 Chron . 30.9 . Jer . 32.40 . notwithstanding I ●… ew thy will , yet I did it not : though ●… as one that thou settest before thee ●… thy delight , to dandle in the lap of ●… Love : from whom thou intendest ●… ver to turn thy face ; even here be●… e thee have I sinned and done all this ●… ckedness in thy sight : though I knew ●… u wast a God from whom no thought , ●… ch less action could be hid : Lord ●… at shall I say , my sins are as the sands ●… he s●a , who can number them ? So vile , so wretched am I , as I am n●… worthy to be called thy Son : n●… worthy any more to sit at thy table yet Lord I will fain be entertained●…gain into thy house , though but as o●… of thy hired servants , but a door-ke●…per , though but as one that must n●… go into thy house to behold and parta●… of thy rich mercies , but stand at t●… door : Psa . 84.10 for 't is better Lord to be a doo●… keeper in thy house , than to dwell 〈…〉 the Tents of wicked Men .

But when he was yet a great way 〈…〉 his Father saw him , &c. I had 〈…〉 gone far in confession and forsaki●… but was hedged up by my iniquitie●… ready to be swallowed up by them eve●… moment ; so that if I went into 〈…〉 field , into the World , there present one object or other presented it self my base lustful eye , which like thor●… pricked and wounded my heart to b●… hold if I looked into my garden , 〈…〉 heart , Pro . 34.24 . which should have bin filled w●… all precious flowers of divine pleasur●… behold , there was nothing but nett●… nothing but restlesness , and unquietn●… stinging and wounding me ; nay furth●… if I Looked about my heart , beho●… the stone-wall was broken down : 〈…〉 Prayer , watchfulness , nay all power , which formerly I had against sin and corruption , whereby in some measure they were subdued and kept under in me , was now broken down ; so that now I was ready to be led away with every lust : But even while I was thus far off from my body , being the Temple of the Holy Ghost , as it was become the Temple of Idols , 1 Cor . 6.19 . a cage of unclean birds , My father saw me , and not only so ; but had compassion on me , was pleased even when my Spirit was ready to fall before him , with power to bring that saying to my heart , Malachi 3.6 . I am the Lord , and I change not , therefore you sons of Jacob are not consumed ; appearing indeed a God of truth , who said , He would not always contend with man , Gen. 6.3 . lest his spirit should fall before him ; but delights rather in shewing mercy ; even when I was crying out in my own heart , ( from the sight of my being ready every moment to be carried away with one temptation or other ) My God hath forsaken me , bringing that saying with power to my heart , Isai . 50. from the first to the fourth .

Thus said the Lord , where is the bill of your mothers divorcement , whom I have put away ? or to which of Creditors is it I have sold you ? Behold for your iniquities have you sold your selves , and for your transgressions is your mother put away ; Wherefore when I came , was there no man ? When I called , was there none to answer ? Is my hand shortned at all that it cannot redeem ? Or have I no power to deliver ? Behold at my rebuke I dry up the sea , I make the rivers a wilderness , their fish stinketh for water and dyeth for thirst ; I cloath the Heavens with darkness , and make Sackcloath their covering .

All which was unfolded before me thus , O foolish man , why dost thou say God hath forsaken thee , hath sold and given thee up to thy own lusts and to Satan ; divorced thee from being the Spouse and beloved of his Son ? who saith so ? where is the Bill , which lust , nay the devil himself let him if he dare , if he can produce the Bili : which of my Creditors is it to whom I have sold thee ? Behold look well about you , consider , you will find you are mistaken , you charge me falsly : for your iniquities have you sold your selves ; you will find all the fault is in you , what is done , you have done your self , you have sold your self ; the distance that is between us , your iniquities have made , 't is they have separated between you and your God .

Wherefore when I came , was there no Man ? What was the reason think ye that I so often by my word and spirit called to and within you , and you made me no answer ? If I had been the cause of your being gone , why then should I call ? and what was the reason there was none to answer , but only your being separated by your iniquities , being taken up with them , you became regardless of my calls ?

Is my hand shortned at all that I cannot redeem ? you know I was able to redeem you out of , and from your corruptions , and what is the matter now ? have you tryed me , and found me unable now to redeem you , is my hand shortned ? Is there any reason why you should not come to me ? Or have not I power to deliver ? what think ye ?

Are your sins and inquities greater and deeper then the Sea ? What if they be ? there is no reason for all that why you should despair of coming to me ; Behold , At my rebuke I dry up the Sea , though you be sunk as deep into sin as the Sea is of water , yet one word of my mouth can dry up that Sea : though you now swim in your iniquities like a fish in a River , yet I can dry up that River , and make those corruptions in you perish for want of water : And make those Rivers a wilderness , a place where indeed you may solitarily travel , and in your travel be put to great streights , yet a place where you shall see me work wonders ; Ex. 16.15 . where I 'le rather send you bread from Heaven then you shall perish , Ex. 17.6 . and cleave the rock rather then you shall faint for want of water .

And I was followed with this saying . That there was no variableness , no not so much as a shadow of changing in him there was not the likeness of any such thing in him , continually having that saying before me , 1 Sam . 7.1 . Isa . 55.7 . return unto the Lord , and he will have mercy upon you , and to our God , for he will abundantly pardon : to which in my heart I replyed , What shall I do ? whither shall I return ? Upon which I had this saying brought to me , Come out from among all those base lusts , and touch no unclean thing . To which I replyed , how can I come out from amongst them when I am compassed about with them on every side ? Lord I cannot turn my self , but do thou turn me , and I shall be turned , &c. To which I was answered in my own heart ! All that is required of thee , is only that thou wouldst be willing ; do but resign up thy will unto the will of God , it s enough : To confirm the Truth of which to me , I had those sayings brought with power to my remembrance , Lord , if thou wilt , thou canst make me clean , Mat . 8.2 . to which Christ immediately replys , ( as if he should say then there is nothing wanting , ) I will be thou clean : Mat . 20.32 . Luk . 5.13 . and immediately it was so : as if Christ should have said , I am always willing and ready to do you any good , and wait only for an opportunity for you to be willing .

And likewise that saying of Christ , Jo . 3.14 . As Moses lifted up the serpent in the Wilderness ; even so must the son of Man be lifted up , That whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have eternal life . What manner of Person soever he was , though never so wicked , never so vile , yet if he would but give one look up , but throw himself into the arms of his mercy , but say with his heart there is no life to be had elsewhere : and if I periish , I 'le perish here : if he but say , Lord I believe , belp my unbelief ; I believe , there is mercy enough in thee , and that it is there placed on purpose , to save sinners : help mine unbelief ; do thou put out tho●… e doubts of mine , by giving my life , by healing of me : and you need not question but you will find him a God of Truth ; for he in that particular chellenges all the World , saying , who is he that hath sought the Lord in vain ? and therefore look up to me all ye ends of the Earth and be ye saved . Isa . 45.19 . Prov. 1.6.20 . Ps. 37.40 . Isa . 45.21 . But to proceed .

He came running and met me ; so swift was he in coming , as that I saw him not till he fell on my neck and kissed me . O how sweet is it to have the divine dew of Heaven to be distilled upon a poor frozen heart ! of what value is it ! how it makes the soul to melt and cry out with the Spouse , Can . 2.5 . Stay me with Flagons , and comfort me with Appeals , for I am sick of love ! Redoubled love ! such as spared not to restore me again and again , such love as seems to swallow up and forget all my redoubled iniquities ; which discovereth it self so freely , as if I had never been an offender against it !

And as the next thing we hear of the Prodigal is , that his father said to his servant , bring forth the best robe & put it on hm , and put a ring on his hand , and shoes on his feet , &c.

So though I have no cause of boasting ; but rather for ever to humble my self in dust and ashes , because of my abominations , they having been such as the wise man saith ( and I by sad experience have found true in part already ) my wound and dishonour to be great , and my reproach such as shall not be wiped away , Prov. 6.33 . yet will I not be ashamed to own and acknowledg his infinite mercies , which he hath been pleased as a robe put on me ; most sweetly being pleased to take my sad heart out from its flesh and mire , in which it lay wallowing , and fill it with holy and heavenly meditations and contemplations of his rich love ; making me as to loath the ways of my own sinful heart , ( which before I took pleasure in ) so now to be meditating on his law , making nothing else delightful or pleasant to me , but rather trouble and vexation of spirit ; Teaching me now that lesson to commune with my own heart , and be still ; to be continually ( at least desiring so to be ) as beholding his rich love , so my own vile wretchedness , the which causes me to be so far from thinking any thing of my self as not to suffer such a thought ; but to be still , as rather being ashamed to appear or speak , e●… cept to my own shame .

Now I find the slipperiness of mans heart to be such , as that he which thinks he stands , had need take heed lest he fall : that man had need watch and pray continually , lest he fall into temptation . Now not wondering why Paul , 1 Cor . 10.12 . notwithstanding he had so much of the power and Spirit of God , cryed out so because of the body of sin he bare about him , saying , O wretched man that I am , who shall deliver me from this body of Death ? Rom. 7.24 . nor yet why he should immediately as if 't was but the turning of an eye , but looking up to the Brazen serpent , but presently he tells you other news .

Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord ; cause of giving thanks , and that for deliverance too : verse . 25. now not wondering why , as soon as Christ doth but a little slumber , the ship should be immediately covered over with waves , as that the disciples cry out Master , save us , we perish : finding now that Christ is pleased to sleep a little , and to suffer Satan to raise on poor disciples such waves , storms and tempests , on purpose to try his Disciples faith , and befool Satan , Exod . 14.15 . 1 Sam . 12.16 . so to shew his power and willingness in all straights to help them ; and likewise to inform them where their strength lies , that their eyes might be alwayes thitherward . Joh . 5.28 . And now in some measure I behold the needfulness to that saying Paul useth to the Ephes . saying , Put on the whole armour of God , that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the Devil . As if he should say , you being Christians , are not therefore to think you are safe ; that you have no enemy to fear : for you being but now to have an enemy : Mat . 10.23 . he that before was your bosome-friend , is now become your enemie ; that he may be able to stand against the wiles of the Devil : the Devil now is become your adversary , therefore now you must be a Souldier : you must learn to keep watch , to stand centinal , and not only so , but you must be armed too : Mat . 26.14 . your enemy is one who is so strong as you are not able to withstand him , except you be armed : And 't is not any armour will serve you neither , it must be armour of proof : put on the whole armour of God ; it is not a piece of Gods armour will serve thee : for thy adversary is such a cunning warrier , that if thou hast never so little a place left naked , and unarmed , he will be sure to shoot all his darts there , and wound thee there ; therefore put on the whole armour of God : Never think thou art safe till then , nay you must not sleep nor ly still then neither , but must when you have put it on expect to fight , for we fight not , &c.

1 Thes . 5.6 , 7 , 1. Therefore let us not sleep , for those that sleep , sleep in the night , &c. for we are Children of the day , therefore let us watch and be sober : But to return .

The next thing in the Parable , is , he calls for the fatted Calf to be brought in and killed , to make merry .

In regard this is partly included in what went before , it being only an illustration of the height , depth , bredth , and length of the love of God in Christ , unbosomed , and freely held forth unto the worst of sin : I shall say no more of it but this . That such hath been the goodness of God to me , as that he hath been pleased to bring forth and bestow on me his great rich love , by which ( notwithstanding I was fallen from , and become a rebel to it , was gone so far from him , into such a far Country , even to the very brink of Hell ; was dead , nay twice dead , dead before I was his son , and dead again afterwards ) he recovered me , brought me back , raised me from this death ; my son was dead , and is alive was lost , is found ; notwithstanding the darkness I was in was such thick darkness , Isa . 44.21 . as I was lost in the midst thereof ; yet such was his love , as there he found me , and from thence brought me forth into the light , and made merry with the musick of his sweet love : O! I want an enlarged heart to admire it , and the Tongue and Pen of Men and Angels to set it forth .

Lastly , His eldest brother was in the field , and as he came and drew nigh to the house ; he heard Musick and Dauncing , and he called one of his Servants , and asked what these things meant ? and he said thy brother is come , and thy father hath killed the fatted calf , because he had received him safe , and sound : And he was angery and would not go in , &c.

't is not much I have experience of this last pa●… t of the parable , having not as yet been entertained again by the society and people or house of God from which I went ; but whether the reason was because my eldest brother murmured at my Father for killing the fatted calf for me , who had wasted his Estate with harlots , who notwithanding he had manifected his love in Christ to me ; I say had given me this portion , I spent it all , sinned against this his mercy , my eldest brother did question whether my Father had dealt justly in that he ( notwithstanding all this my wickedness ) rather then I should be lost , that he might receive me safe and sound , doth not spare , but kill his fatted calf , manifest to me ( vile wretch ) such a piece of love , as he never discovered to his eldest son , who had alwaies been with him ; kept close to all his commands and ordinances : whether the reason why they rather concluded ( or at lest some of them ) I had sinned the sin against the Holy Ghost , and so 't was not possible for me to be recovered by and into the love of God ; and so did not believe what I said , but at present refused both it and me ; and not only so , but that ( as ever I heard ) they never so much as inquired after me since , though I have been shut up in prison and could not go to them : whether ( I say ) it did not flow from my eldest Brother murmuring . I leave to them whom it concerns to judge ; waiting and longing to re-injoy likewise that mercy , as to have again fellowship and communion with the Saints ; knowing it to be the place ; ( where two or three are gathered together in his name , Mat . 18.19 that he will be in , and that in the midst of them : and likewise finding by sad experience , Heb . 10.24 that so backward and drousie is man , as he had not need let any thing be wanting that may provoke him to love and good works , it being likewise that which as God commands it , so he takes special notice of his people that observe so to do ; as we may find Mal . 3.16 . Then they that fear the Lord speak often one to another : and the Lord harkned and heard it , and a book of remembrance was written before him , for them that feared the Lord , and thought upon his name . And they shall be mine , saith the Lord of hosts , in that day when I gather up my jewels ; and I will spare them , as a man spareth his only son that serveth him . What ? doth the Lord take notice of poor wretched man that fears him , that is tender of every command of his ; though he but stammer before him , because he knows 't is his pleasure , Yea , he will be sought unto ? I the Lord take great notice , he harkned and heard it , and not only so , but a book of remembrance was written before him : such is the infinite love of God towards his poor despised people , that though the world frown upon them , and not think them worthy their taking notice of , yet the Lord he takes such notice of them , as that they cannot meet together , but he will cau●… e a Book of Remembrance to be write , and that before him ; that so he might be sure not to go or do any thing , but that he might behold them , that they might be his choice ones at that day when he gathers up his jewels .

Doth God take such care for his poor people , that when he brings forth and gathers together his rich choice mercies out of his treasury , gathers together his Jewels , as he would be sure none of his people should be wanting , or forgotten , but before him ; that then he might gather up them amongst his Jewels , be as careful and tender of them as a man of his s●… n , that serveth him ?

O! who would leave such a God , such a Father , for the vanities of this World , which to day is , and to morrow is cast into the oven .

FINIS .
A true Coppy of the Letter mentioned in the Epistle which I sent to my Adversary . SIR ,

I Must confess , such hath been my incomparable detestable wickedness towards you , as hath most justly kindled an unquenchable fire of fury in your breast against me vile wretch , most justly causing me to feel the truth of that saying , Prov. 6.34 . For jealousie is the rage of a man ; therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance : So I must needs say , most just is the Lord , in bringing to open view these by my hidden works of darkness . Sir , I must needs out of the shame and bitterness of my unworthy heart confess , that that injury done by me to you is of so notorious a nature , as it is not in the least repairable by me ; nay if I should leave Ages as your slave , and all that time do for you the worst of slavery , it would not be of weight sufficient to counterpoise with that unparalel'd injury done by me to you ; how much less am I ( who have not left me ( except the meer mercy of some Creditors ) not the worth of a penny , nor wherewithal to get a penny ) able in the least in that case to treat with you : B●… t being through mercy made to behold the greatness of my iniquity against God , and injury done to you , as made astonished , ashamed , and confounded in my self , at the beholding of the riches of the love of God , which Paul well said , passeth understanding , if it had not , I had ere this been consumed ; and God himself gives the alone reason , saying , I am God and change not , therefore you sons of Jacob are not consumed ; and knowing it my duty so far as it lies in my power to satisfie all wrongs by me done to or committed against any , to the utmost of my ability , therefore endeavouring ( if possible ) to be at peace with all men ; I am imboldened to tender you the largest satisfaction , that either you or any else can out of my labours , above the maintaining of my poor Wife and Family , whom in the first place the laws both of God and nature teach me to provide for ; And how much more in this case I am bound to have respect to my poor wife , who with you in this case ( and that in an unspeakable manner ) hath so deeply already suffered , I leave to you to judge . And Sir , I must humbly desire you to be pleased to consider , that your keeping me in Prison , doth not only make me ●… ncapable of giving you the least satisfaction ; and if I alone who merited it , did suffer , I should be so far from having a thought of reaping any mercy from you , as I should rather yield up my self a sacrifice , to be consumed on the altar , you will , by the fire of your fury most justy by me kindled : But O! when I behold other suffering for my abominations , it enforceth me to cry out , ( as secretly to God ) so to you now to look being an instrument in his hand scourging those for my iniquities who were not sharers in them with me ) though not upon me , yet upon them , with an eye of compassion ; and I beseech you lest the consideration that you destroy the just ( in this case ) with the unjust , ( if you go on ) stay your hand ; O spare but them , and command what you will of me to the utmost extremity , I shall be willing not only to the utmost of what at present I am able ; but for ever think the utmost I can do , too little , in recompence of your mercy in this particular towards my poor Wife and Family , much less to satisfie that injury which in vilest nature I have done you . O Sir , I beseech you , consider God , who delights in shewing mercy ; and doth afflict , not that he might utterly destroy , but that thereby he might make us the fitter to receive and prize his mercies ; and how honourable a thing it is to be an imitator of so heavenly a pattern , in at last saving those by your mercy , who else are likely to be destroyed by your fury . So ( Sir ) only giving you to understand , that herein I have written nothing but the plain truth and sincere desire of my heart , humbly desiring you seriously to read it ; and upon mature consideration , as between God and your own soul : and if you shall please to send me an answer , it will oblige him who is ,

SIR , Unworthy to be your Slave , H. H. From my Captivity in the Fleet Dec. 12. 1650.

For Mr. Thomas Hams Living at Mrs. Morice's in Swan-Alley Black-Friers . These .

View of part of the many Traiterous , Disloyal , and Turn-about Actions of H. H. Senior , sometimes Printer to Cromwel , to the Commonwealth , to the Anabaptist Congregation , to Cromwel's Army , Committee of Safety , Rump-Parliament , &c.

A Little before the Rebellion in England , He was brought to Town out of His Father a Rope-maker in Maidston . Kent , and serv'd Harrison ( one ●… the blessed King Charles the I's . Bloody ●… egicides ) in the Capacity of Postillion , ●… hough very young ) who preferr'd him to ●… r . John Lilbourn ; who was much taken ●… i th him , being so very tractable and fit ●… r his purpose ; that he put him out an ●… pprentice to a Symonds and Paine then Partners . Printer for his better ●… ualification to serve the Cause , &c. As ●… terwards it prov'd He did to all intents .

He run away from his Master , ( a Prin●… r ) 1642. and Listed himself in the Rebel-Army● nder Essex , and fought fiercely with ●… word and Musquet , ( for he was not ●… et mounted ) at Edge-hill against King ●… harles the I. Then becoming free of four ●… rades ( viz. ) Rebellion , Treason , Rapine ●… nd Murder , he got on Horse-back , and advanced in a very towardly Progress so that , in

1648. He commenc'd Leveller ; but tha●… Trade soon failing , he made himself a●… Independant , and became so considerabl●… among them ; that Cromwel wanting 〈…〉 Printer for the Horrid Remonstrance . ( whic●… was the Prodromus of the blessed King Murder , ) Out steps honest H. H. briskly saying , My Lord , I am a Printer : An●… upon his Vigilance ( not Dexterity ) in tha●… piece of Villany , he was made Printe●… to that Rebel-Army , in which Execrabl●… Imployment and Title , he continu'●… Printing and Trooping several years . And

He Printed the Act , For prohibiting a●… person to be Proclaim'd King of England .

1649. And another Act , For Abolishing t●… Kingly Office , &c.

This was the man that Printed the H●… and Cry after King Charles the I. althoug●… it was Old White's Copy ; but his Ze●… for the Cause was so great , that he cou●…ted it no sin to cheat his Brother Trayto●…

This year was a year of Remark i●… earnest to him , for now he alter'd h●… Title , and became Printer to the Commo●…wealth of England , and Printed the I●…structions for the Sale of the Lands belonging to the King , Queen , Prince and Bishop Deans and Chapters , &c.

He was at Worcester Fight against the ●… ate King , and the next day after the Fight ●… as seen in General Fleedwood's Tent by Mr. B. a Book-binder now living in St. Bartholomew's-Close near West-Smithfield .

He Printed after Worcester Fight a Proclamation for the apprehending ( as he was ●… leased to call them ) Charles Stewart , James Stewart , or any of the pretended Sons or Daughters of the blessed Martyr King Charles the I. wherein was a Thousand pounds reward offered .

In this year ( the Flesh prevailing over the Spirit ) he liv'd in Adultery with the Wife of Thomas Hams , a Taylors Wife in Blaok Friers ; for which he was Su'd , Fined 260 l. and cast into the Fleet Prison , where he lay a considerable time ; and then and there it was , that he writ this Book the Prodigal Return'd , being his Recantation for that crime , by which he procur'd his Re-admittance into the Anabaptist Congregation ; and of this conversion of our Saint , Mr. William Kiffin and Mr. Daniel King ( both living ) are Witnesses , as having each of them written an Epistle be●… ore it , printed for Giles Calvert , Anno Dom . 1651. By this Apostacy , and his hearty Pennance for that Crime , he became Printer to the Anabaptist Congregation ; as appears by the many Schismatical Books , where it is said Printed by H. H. Printer to the Anabaptist Congregation , in whic●… he continu'd several years .

1653. He Printed The government of the Commonwealth , by Cromwell the Protector ( as they call'd him ) and in sundry year as the Pamphlets shew . He Printed ,

The Ordinance of High Treason again●… the Posterity of King Charles the I.

The Ordinance for disposing the Estate under Sequestration .

At that time he was Printer to Oliv●… the Usurper , he became a zealous Preacher amongst the Anabaptists , where h●… thump'd the Tub so furiously , that he wa●… much Noted by the Heads of that Tribe as Patience , Kiffin , Ives , King , &c. Tha●… he caus'd the Congregation to Deposite a●… very considerable sum of money , whic●… was no sooner paid into his hands ; but he and his brother Ives shar'd the money , and left them to shift for a Teacher , fo●… honest H. H. had now other Fish to fry .

He Printed the Act , For Establishing the High Court of Justice ; and another for prohibiting any Correspondency with Charles Stuart .

He Printed the Act , For renouncing the pretended Title of Charles Stuart King of England .

He Printed the Act , For Discovery and Convicting Popish Recusants .

He Printed the Armies Plea against the Restoration of the King .

An Act , For the Security of the Usurper Cromwel .

The Humble Petition and Advice to Cromwel .

An Act , For the Sale of Lands and Estates in Ireland .

He Printed Barebone's Petition against the 1659. Royal Family . He was Printer to Richard the Usurper , Oliver's Son ; and at that time Printing pocket Bibles , he corrupted the Commandments , and made it , Thou shalt commit Adultery ; remembring probably how delightfully he had liv'd With honest Thomas Ham's the Taylor's Wife .

Richard Cromwel being dismounted , and ●… he Rump Parliament got to the Helm , he was then Printer to Them ; and in the same year the Rump being routed by Lambert , ●… e became Printer to the Army again ; then Printer to the Committee of Safety . And ●… n the same year the Rump getting in again , ●… e became Printer to Them again : The man you may see has a Soul of no common Temper ; He ever made it his business ●… o be of the rising side , let what Card ●… ould turn up Trump , he would still ●… ollow the Suit , his heart and hand were ●… lways so well furnish'd .

He was now arriv'd to have the ma●… agement of the Press , and coming to ●… — s Cot — l s he found a Pamphlet in ●… indication of King Charles the II . ( of blessed memory ; ) which much enraged him against the said Printer , insomuch , that he would needs both carry away the mans Printing-Letter , and take him also into Custody , saying , What Print in Right of the King , sure we have had King enough already , carry him before Sir John Backstead ( such another Villain as himself . )

1660. The King being happily restor'd , he got to be Printer to His late Majesty ; but fearing the Act of Indempnity was too weak for all his Treasons , Villanies , Tergiversations and Treacheries , he procur'd a particular Pardon , and then he became a kind of a Church of England-man , or a modest Presbyterian , where he continued ( when profit and interest offer'd ) a Zealot till the year 1678.

When Oates's Plot was brought upon the Stage , and flourish'd , then he became very Zealous in finding out Papists and Popish Books : In order to which , he went into the Kings-Printing-House in Black-Fryers ; saying , Gentlemen , Is there an●… Papists here ? If there be , you must turn out for the Kings-Printing-House shall be 〈…〉 shelter for such Vermine : Nay , Or any th●… are Popishly affected , they must also turn out ▪ Which soon took effect , for poor Simo●… Chamberlain ( being so ) was soon turn'd out A little after this exploit , he instructed on●… of his Sons ( a Glasier by Trade ) to betra●… Turbeveil's Catechisms , the Manuel of Devotions , and other good Catholick Books , then in the hands of Mr. James Thompson in Eagle-Court in the Strand ; which afterwards He and his Pupil Robin Hog , procur'd to be burnt at the Royal Exchange , where he Triumph'd at that Exploit , as much as Sir William Waller did , when he burnt the Crucifixes in Palace-yard , Westminster .

He Printed many of the Monstrous , Horrid , 1679. Lying Narratives and Informations that then invaded the World ; and also the Treasonable Votes , &c. And amongst the rest , he Printed that pernicious and damnable Narrative for which Dangerfield was Disciplin'd ; and himself and others Sued by an Honourable Peer of the Realm , who obtain'd a large Verdict against him ; which Verdict , he hoping to avod , ( the good man ) became ( as he says ) a Zealous Catholick ; we do not hear our Zealous Convert has neither acknowledg'd his Crime to that Honourable Person , nor shewn any Sign of Submission : Nay , he had the Confidence to say , He never wrong'd his Lordship , or the Right Honourable Lady who hath also hath a Verdict against him for Scandalum Magnatum , &c.

It is further to be observed , that in May 1684. when the Stationers had their new Charter from the King Charles II . of Glorious Memory ; this new Proselite most zealously took the Sa●… ament in the Church of England , to qualify himself for Master ●… f the said Company ; ) but being so well known amongst them , ●… is design was frustrated ; as sometime he did before to Capa●… itate himself to be Warden thereof ; which place ( with the ●… ssistance of some , &c. ) he did compass .

This is the brief character of our spick and span new Convert , ●… hich shews him to have been in Religion a very Proteus or Wea●… er-Cock ; and to have run through more Opinions than ever ●… he Wandering Jew is said to have done Countries .

A Convert nevertheless we may allow him to be , and to be●… ieve him to be chang'd also from what he was , as he had often ●… een , and done before : But though he be thus become a Saint ; ●… he Kn — e is as Visible and Obvious as ever , and Honest H. H. is the same Envious , Plodding , Treacherous , Sycophant in his Looks , Words and Actions .

Query , If ever H. H. since his pretended Conversion hath ask'd the Pardon of any one person whom he has Libell'd or Defam'd ? Or so much as acknowledged the wrong ? ( we speak not of satisfaction for the same . ) And also , whether he can be deemed any other than an Hypocrite or Dissembler , until he hath done this ? God cannot be mocked , but the World and his Father-Confessor may .

To shew that according to the Title H. H. is the same as heretofore , and that he the said H. H. was ever for the Mercenary interest part , Religion he still making use of upon all changes , only to serve that end ; for he having Printed by Order the Papers found in the late Kings Closet , and a Bookseller having likewise got incouragement to Print the same , which being accordingly done ; H. H. ( still the same ) sends one on purpose to Trepan not only the said Bookseller but Printer , and used all underhand means to ruin them : This , I hope , cannot be thought by any of the same Religion he now professes himself to be of , done through a true zeal to that Persuasion .

And to the end that none that take the pains to read this Book , may think these are falsities put upon the said H. H . ●… hrough envy to his Greatness ; the Publisher will prove to H. H's . face the truth of each particular , if he hath the confidence to deny any of them .

FINIS .