IF Homers {αβγδ} were turned into a curse , t wer scarce long enough to nestle this brood of Cocatrices , this bastard spawne of Serpents , or if they were got by univocall generation , the Devill t was that playd the Pimpe . Eight card●s i th stock , and nought bu● Noddy Knave ; so many add●e egges together will give Robin a good friday nights supper : A litter of Young Pha●isees but that the one boasted what they did , the other performe contrary to what they boast .

Had Saturnes Virile but got a man as it produced a Venus , this frothy Monster had been be ; see what you want sir ; No habadasher can furnish you with such wares , Whoremasters , or Hypocrites , Drunkards , or perjured of all sorts very good choyce ; an Exchange of prophanenesse , Long-lane full of Brokers ; a gallan● dish of Medlers , yet not worth a pin if not rotten at heart ; a trick or two of Iesuits shuffled with a Mournivall of Asses : It puzled my Logick to ranck them into any predicament till I thought of Platoes Division of all things into good and evill , as the summum genus of this category of mischiefe fits John Arrowsmith , a very single eyed man , but of a body so corrupt t will dampe the force of fire at the last day to turne it into glasse , so that were I an Apothecary I would buy it for drugs . After this poysoned carcase had killed one wife he endeavours yet further , Orestes like , to commit an act of particide upon his Mother , by already lopping one arme of this glorious University ; Oh might he have Orestes his fortune , be tormented with as many Hags as hell can spare , till he become a wanderer and a vagabond upon the earth : The Covenant is his minion , and no lesse then foureteene bastards hath he lately gotten by that Strumpet , which with a blasphemy almost as large as the prophanenesse of the object he applauds as able to bring men in fellowship with the Father and the Sonne .

Next enter Hodges , the best Belzebub that I know ; Oh how many godly sisters has the white of his eye converted : Hypocrisie and oppression are but Embrio sins , scarce halfe fledged with him , in comparison of an inutilis conventus , as he tearmes it on a Sunday night , an offence unpardonable : One who hath set a whole Colledge on fire , and is now runne away in the smoake ; but how came he a holy brother ? Why , what obstacles will not the ambitious desire of preferment maugre ? Thus Jupiter like to fullfill his lust , he turnes himselfe into a Cuckow : But fetch me some whip coard , I le lash that Hereticall Dunce Moubray , till he can decline Copia , a disgrace both to Grammer Phylosophy and Divinity : Yet such spurious Cions has this Reformation inoculated ; that which is storyed of Pelops served up as a Banquet to the Gods , and afterwards quodled to life in a Caldron , but that the Gods disdaine such course fare might be true of him . Flea him , and I le maintaine a Landresse shall buy his skin to plight Cuffes with . But stayst for an Oedipus who can resolve this Riddle , how many Theames will buy a hat ? Mr. Collier will undoubtedly unfold this mystery next Tearme . The custome amongst the Ancients to subscribe to their Pictures {αβγδ} is of no use with him ; this beast hath marke enough in his forhead to distinguish him from any other : had he been living when Noah coupled his Creatures he could not have found a paralell meet for him : If Babell were now to build , the confusion of tongues could not hinder its erection , each of these Sophies have two at least , but that this hypocrite might excell all his fellowes , he has got fifteene ; but how came he by all this learning ? His Nurse used him up to a bit and a line ; thus Magister artis ingenique largitor venter , negatas artifex sequi voces . But roome for Boanerges with his granado throat ; Jam taudem adest Decanus vester ; A man as zealous against Papists as Protestants , yet each morning to patch up the unworthinesse of his prayers , he lines them with the smoaking incense of the grease of his fingers : Had he been in Adams case , God would have changed his curse from the sweat of thy browes to the cleanesse of thy teeth : thou shall eate thy bread , and then poore James might even have starved . The effect which was produced by the flowers of Sicily , might be attributed to his breath , though proceeding from a contrary quality , the Dogs cannot hunt for the stinck on t . Naturalists tell us that in ground rightly manured , seede will spring forth in two dayes , James shall give them halfe a mile , and yet out runne them ; were it but set in his cheekes the fatnesse of the soyle would certainely hasten the maturation . Pliny reports of some creatures in Africa , ( as quid non portentosum fert ista regio ) that have no mouthes , and live onely by smelling to he●bes : Happy wee that weare not those {αβγδ} , For the rammish perfume of this Scullion would certainely choak us : But I le not baite this Beare any longer : have at the Bull of Basan now truely turned into Apuleius his Asse , John Pawson in his majesty . That which is commonly beleeved that men doe but act over that Scene , which their Forefathers set forth in the first edition , proves false heere , for malice and knavery the world cannot produce a parallell . Machiavell certainely had beene his Pupill had they but been contemporaries : What shapes cannot this Impe put on ? See the Dive●l himselfe with a Bible under his arme : His Religion is unknowne as Ioves birth-place , his Actions like Herules , his beasts drive a contrary channell to his professions ; thus is this quicksilver Ape , Puritan in sh●w , Iesuite in practise : He has pickled up as many Oaths ( which he keeps in souse ) as ever Priest did pardons , & heel vent thē accordingly : give him but Mid●s●is request he shal swear ●is supp●sed that Calvin lived seven ages before the floud . Hocas Pocas , heere I have you , and there I have you , thus doth this Pilot steere his course that what winde soever blow shall drive him forward ; he had the Moone for his Mother , and better had it beene she had laboured an ecclipse then brought forth such a Sonne : Nor are his designes thawctfuller of decit then malice , a large example of which these dayes sufficiently afford ; 't was to see the golden hornes of authority on anothers head , that prompted thee to chase that Noble Stagge : What but the seed of Tigers could beget a spirit so exasperated against every thing that squares not with his owne appetite ?

Nor is my taske done yet , this Hydra hath more heads left still : there s Sikes too , a Saint over head and eares ; this Uulcan sure was borne without co●junction ; he lookes as if his soule had taken leave of his corps , and gone to hell to fetch the platforme of a new Reformation : View him as he directs to the aire in the Chappell , for few other Auditors he has , and he speakes like Fryar Bacons Image ; nay the Ayre her selfe could almost be content to make a gap in nature , lest such horrid treasons as he belcheth forth should be harboured in her bosome . Thus doth he snivell forth nonsence as the coach horses of the Sunne spew light through their nostrills : Sure he tooke the patterne of his prayers from the Queens staires at Greenwitch , which as t is reported , stand by Geometry , thus doe his words like Globes in the aire hang pendulous ; t were a taske too heaw for a thousand Curtius's to stop all the Chasma's in this one mans devotions . There s Heron to , that Boote catcher of Trinity , one who hath served out more Apprentiships then ever Iacob did , to obtaine a bleareeyed Leah , phanatique ignorance : Cincinna's plow-sheare was turned into a Scepter , and as if this hedge-Hog had the same knack too , he 's translated newly from a have you any worke for a Cooper to a non placet reverentiae nostra : Morralists say that old men are twice children ; this Nestor has out lived his wisdome long since , and is now ready to commence Doctor of his faculty of ignorance . There are more whelps in this kennell still ; but I have not stones enough to knock them all on the head : one of them they have sent before to Hell as harbinger to prepare lodgings for the rest of his fellowes : his Epitaph written by my deare friend , I shall heere insert , with which I 'le conclude .