I. WHither the Hollanders Government by States is not better than Monarchy by some Millions , by their usurpation over Royal Privileges and Properties ?

II . Whether Lucian did well to make Hell govern'd by States ?

III . Whether the States of Holland ( who ●eny Kingship to be Jure Divino ) may not lawfully affirm there are no Devils ; since Scripture commands them to deny themselves ?

IV . Whether their Land may not be compared to the Ingredients of a Black-pudding ; since their patches of ground in the water , seem like the knobs of Fat , or Oatmeal not well stirr'd together in the Blood ?

V. Whether we may not judge them cruel and merciless to all who have dealing with them , since they are so to themselves ; for rather than want Fuel , they will fire the very foundation of their being , the Earth ?

VI . Whether we may not call Holland a Green-Cheese in pickle , by reason of its watry situation : And whether lately thousands of its Inhabitants were not souc'd by the English , to make them bear some analogy to their Country ?

VII . Whether they have not a shorter cut to Hell than the people of other Kingdoms and Nations ; since their Country is so low ?

VIII . Whether it may not be called Hell , since all Erronious Tenents , with the Authors of strange and unheard of Villanies flock thither , as to their proper Centre ?

IX . Whether England be not Sampson ; since it hath torn the Dutch-Lyon's Jaws asunder ?

X. Whether any now know what their Hoghen Moghenships are doing ; or whether they know now what to doe .

XI . Whether if a Malefactor were condemn'd to be hang'd , a man could find any other Tree for that purpose than a Willow , which makes them pilfare Timber elsewhere for Shipping ?

XII . Whether a Dutchman can break his Neck by leaping out of his own Window , since he is not like to meet with ground , till he sink to the bottome of a River , or the Sea ; for their Houses stand like Privyes , in Moathouses over the water ?

XIII . Whether Dr. Lamb living there might have feared that Death by Stoning ( which he receiv'd at London ) there being so sew stones , that the living ones are as plentifull , except what are imployed to the Paving of Streets : wherefore it is called the Buttock of the World , since it is full of Veins and Blood ▪ Water ) but no Bones hardly in it ( Stones ) ?

XIV . Whether Holland be not a meer Paradox ; since its Inhabitants fish in the Water for Fire , and having taken thereof , spread it on the Land ; which then appears to the beholders imagination , a Green-Cheese overspread with black-soap . Their Horses are Wood , which carry the Bridle in their Posteriours , and their Bellies contain their Burdens , and the Wind is the Spur that pricks them on ?

XV . Whether if Mount Atna or Vesuvius be Hells fore-gate , Holland is not the Postern .

XVI . Whether that Text ( They are all become abominable , there is none that doth-good , no not one ) doth concern the Hollander ?

XVII . Whether to shake off Allegiance ( as they did from their lawfull Soveraign the King of Spain ) for Christian-liberty , was not Don Quixots Argument to turn loose the Gally-Slaves , because God and Nature had made them free ?

XVIII . Whether the United Provinces ( dis-united by water ) may not be ranked with Magallaus Insula Latronum , or Island of Thieves , who stole his Cock-boat .

XIX . Whether the water they use be not very Cordial , since it is Aqua Coelestis , distill'd from the Clouds : However I am sure it is Aqua fortis , or forti●a , Strong-water I mean ; for using it with one hand , you must hold your Nose with the other ?

XX . Whether they believe the World will be burned ( as some of them were lately at Sea ) since they make it appear by dayly experiment , that its matter is combustible .

XXI . Whether the Dutch Sea Captains have not lately found out the art of flying , without other wings , ( then what their fears p●ocured them , their Sails ) and that it is fit they which come after should understand this old invention , revived to prevent what danger might ensue for want of knowledge thereof ?

XXII . Whether it be not requisite the States should canonize those for Saints that dye in their Service , who since there are but two Worlds , ought at least to be honoured in one ?

XXIII . Whether the Wisemen of Gotham would not have been horribly puzzled to have found out in Holland an Hedge for their Cuckow ?

XXIV . Whether Escutcheons are not in Holland more plentifull then the Gentry , since there every man is his own Herald ; never fearing to have a Coat , if he hath so much wit to contrive one ?

XXV . Whether they regard not their Houses , and Utensils therein contained , more then themselves ; for though they neglect their own formlesse unlickt Cub-Ships , yet to be sure the other shall not want any thing of their native beauty : Hence may be said they keep their Houses cleaner then their Bodies , and their Bodies then their souls ?

XXVI . Whether at any time they are so nice-conscienc'd , as not to turn Religion out of doors to let in Policy ? and whether the most borish among them , if he gets wealth , may not quickly be made a Statesman ?

XXVII . Whether this may not be a real truth , that their Country is the God they adore , War their Heaven , Peace their Hell ; and that they love not any but for Interest ; but the King of Spain they hate worse then the Devil ?

XXVIII . Whether a man may not sooner convert a Jew , then perswade a Dutch-man contrary to his humour ; For Custome is his Law , and his Will is Reason ?

XXIX . Whether in the late expedition at Sea , they trusted not more to their Yard armes , then their own armes , to secure themselves from that mischief would have ( justly ) fallen on them ?

XXX . Whether he may be now said to be a man of Spirit , since that failing him he lost his courage ; neither hath he seldome any but what he borroweth from Brandy ?

XXXI . Whether Pickled Herring , Butter , Onions , and Holland Cheese , be not the ingredients which make an ordinary Dutch-man ; which the heat of the Sun under the Equinoctial in a Voyage to the Indies consolidates ?

XXXII . Whether his Body , Hands and Face are made of the same mole or composition ; for his Body when naked seemeth a Christian-European , but the rest Hellish-Aegyptian ?

XXXIII . Whether they were not bread before manners were in fashion , since they hold civility and courtesie a late uselesse invention , and good for nothing but to steal away mens hearts from their worldly affaires ? Surely they would make good Justices of the Peace , not so much for the slendernesse of their wit , but because they neither respect persons nor apparel .

XXXIV . Whether the love of gain , upon what dishonest ground soever , be not as natural to them as water to a Goose , or carrion to a Kite ?

XXXV . Whether it would not puzzle a Phylosopher to define a Dutchman , whether fish or flesh ; since he draweth his food and breath as much or more from the water then from the land ; however foul I am sure he is .

XXXVI . Whether Dutch-men would wonder to see Iron float , since every thing is so made to swim among them ?

XXXVII . Whether they would not have forborn to use their virulent expressions against the King of Spain , had they not been formerly his Subjects ; neither would they have dared to contend with the King of England , had not they wrong'd his Sacred Majestie and People so much , they knew not how to render him satisfaction equivalent .

XXXVIII . Whether Myn . here will not venture the daubing of his fac'd Cloak , by carrying home three penny worth of Pickled Herring when he meets with them in his walk , rather then go without them ?

XXXIX . Whether when his belly is full , he beareth the resemblance of a full grown Oyster boyled ?

XL . Whether they will not tolerate any thing rather than hinder Traffick ; and will not stick to entertain the Devil ( should they know him so ) and trade with him , should the Fiend assume the habit of a Burgo-master , and shew them Merchandize .

XLI . Whether you may not be what Devil you will at Amsterdam , provided you push not the State with your horns ?

XLII . Whether if any one hath lost his Religion , he may not there find it again , it being an University of all sorts of Opinions , which grow there like stocks in a Nursery , without either order or pruning .

XLIII . Whether by this their boundlesse toleration , they place not their Commonwealth in a higher esteem than Heaven it self , since they had rather offend God then crosse their Republick .

XLIV . Whether the Father and the Son were not created together , since observation tells us , there is not to be found among them any demonstration of Duty or Authority to distinguish them ?

XLV . Whether their women would not have indifferent good faces , did they not marre them in making .

XLVI . Whether a Dutch Saylor is not in continual danger of having his leggs swallowed up , by reason of the wide gaping and yawning of his breeches at knees ?

XLVII . Whether a Dutch-woman may not be compar'd to a Monkey chain'd by the middle , for she had rather want food , then want lincks to hang her keys in ?

XLVIII . Whether a Dutch-man be longer eating his dinner , then an English-man preparing it ?

XLIX . Whether the English have not the better over the Dutch in drinking , ( as well as in other things ) having lost it long since by prating too much over their cups .

L. Whether we mortals may not reckon the Hollander in the Massacre at Amboyna amongst the Gods , since they did there put off all humanity ?

LI . Whether Rudis indigestaque Moles , was not a saying exprest by Ovid , relating to the Hollander ?

LII . Whether it had not been much safer for the Hollander to have made use of their own fails for fewel , rather than to have fell foul on our Coleships ? This I can prove by many Chaldrons of Reasons drawn from theirs and our experience ?

LIII . Whether it is not sitting that the States should now make an Act , wherein it should be lawfull ( as it is thought by some needfull ) for the widdows and Orphans of the deceased in the late expedition , to make away with themselves by hanging in the Air , ( since their Husbands were destroy'd by two other Elements Fire and Water ) lest they joyning issue with some malecontent persons , it should cause an alteration in their Government , and verefie the saying , The mighty shall be brought low ?

LIV . Whether the Commonwealth of Holland hath any other mark of Christianity than the grand prosecution of its interest , which is to make their calling and election Sure ?

LV . Whether the common Proverp , That bought wit is best , may not now be justly acknowledged by the Hollanders with a sad Probatum est ?

LVI . Whether it may not be said ( when the Dutch Fleet set sail to Prosecute injustice ( it being then a hot season after their cold Winter ) That they went out of Gods blessing into the warm Sun ?

LVII . Whether old Van Trump by carrying a Broom in his main-top , did signifie that he would be the Scavenger of the British Seas , or that he would have ●ad the then Commonwealths Cobler to have furnished with old Shooes , or old Boots ? ( will you buy any brooms . )

LVIII . Whether Holland Cheese will not sweat coming on our Coast for car oof our great Guns ; or whether it would not dissolve or melt awa● rather before it comes by the heat of their own Fire-ships ?

L●X . Whether they look not on this as the Essence of their hodge-podge Religion ? That the power of the Sword belongeth to him that can lay hold on the Hilt .

LX . Whether Opdam hath not shewn us , that the speediest way of sayling to the Antipodes , is in a Dutch Bottom ?

LXI . Whether if the Dutch dare play out their game at Ruff , and that they will once more Shuffle , it is reasonable for us to Cut ?

LXII . Whether Captain Smith for sinking one of the Dutch Admirals , may not truly as well as Honourably be said , To have hit the right nail on the head ?

LXIII . Whether he that can say no more at present , hath not a sufficient excuse to hold his tongue .