WHEREAS this Famous Metropolis of England , ( and were the Endeavours of its Worthy Inhabitants equal to their Power , Merit , and Virtue , I should not stick to denounce it , in a short time , the Metropolis of the whole World : ) Whereas I say this City ( as most great ones are ) has ever been infested with a numerous company of such whose arrogant Confidence , backing their Ignorance , has enabled them to impose upon the people either premeditated Cheats , or at best the palpable dull and empty mistakes of their self-deluded imaginations , in Physick , Chymical and Galenick , in Astrology , Physiognomy , Palmistry , Mathematicks , Alchimy , and even Government it self ; the last of which I will not purpose to discourse of , or meddle at all in , since it no ways belongs to my Trade or Vocation , as the rest do , which thanks to my God , I find much more safe , I think equally honest , and therefore more profitable .

But as to all the former , they have been so erroneously practis'd by many unlearned Wretches , whom Poverty and Neediness for the most part ( if not the restless itch of deceiving ) has forc'd to straggle and wander in unknown paths , that even the Professions themselves , though originally products of the most Learned , and Wise Mens Laborious Studies and Experiences , and by them left a Wealthy and Glorious Inheritance for Ages to come , seem by this Bastard Race of Quacks and Cheats , to have been run out of all Wisdom , Learning , Perspicuousness , and Truth , with which they were so plentifully stock'd , and now run into a repute of meer Mists , Imaginations , Errors , and Deceits , such as in the management of these idle Professors indeed they were .

You will therefore ( I hope ) Gentlemen , Ladies , and others , deem it but just , that I who for some years have with all faithfulness and assiduity courted these Arts , and received such signal favours from them , that they have admitted me to the happy and full enjoyment of themselves , and trusted me with their greatest Secrets , should with an earnestness and concern more than ordinary , take their parts against these Impudent Fops , whose saucy , impertinent Addresses and Pretensions have brought such scandal upon their most immaculate Honours , and Reputations .

Besides , I hope you will not think I could be so imprudent , that if I had intended any such foul play my self , I would have given you so fair warning by my severe observations upon others , Qui alterum incusat probri , ipsum se intueri oportet , Plaut . However Gentlemen in a world like this , where Virtue is so exactly counterfeited , and Hypocrisie so generally taken notice of , that every one arm'd with Suspicion , stands upon his Guard against it ) 't will be very hard for a Stranger especially to escape censure : All I shall say for my self on this score is this , if I appear to any one like a Counterfeit , even for the sake of that chiefly ought I to be construed a true man , who is the Counterfeits example , his original , and that which he imploys his industry and pains to imitate and copy ; is it therefore my fault if the Cheat by his Wits and Endeavours makes himself so like me , that consequently I cannot avoid resembling of him : Consider pray the Valiant and the Coward , the wealthy Merchant and the Bankrupt , the Politician and the Fool , they are the same in many things , and differ in but one alone : the Valiant man holds up his head , looks confidently round about him , wears a Sword , Courts a Lords Wife , and owns it ; so does the Coward , one only point of Honour , and that 's Courage ( which like false Metal one only trial can discover ) makes the distinction .

The Bankrupt walks the Exchange , Buys , Bargains , draws Bills , and accepts them with the richest , whilst Paper and Credit are current Coin ; that which makes the difference is real Cash , a great defect indeed , and yet but one , and that the last found out , and still till then the least perceived .

Now for the Politician , he is a grave , deliberating , close , prying Man : Pray are there not grave , deliberating , close , prying Fools ? If then the difference betwixt all these ( though infinite in effect ) be so nice in all apparence , will you expect it should be other wise betwixt the false Physician , Astrologer , &c. and the true ? the first calls himself Learned Doctor , sends forth his Bills , gives Physick , and Councel , tells and foretells ; the other is bound to do just as much , 't is only your experience must distinguish betwixt them , to which I willingly submit my self : I 'le only say something to the honour of the Mountebanck , in case you discover me to be one .

Reflect a little what kind of creature 't is , he is one then who is fain to supply some higher ability he pretends to , with Craft , he draws great companies to him by undertaking strange things which can never be effected . The Politician ( by his example no doubt ) finding how the people are taken with specious , miraculous , impossibilities , plays the same game , protests , declares , promises I know not what things , which hee 's sure can ne're be brought about ; the people believe , are deluded and pleased , the expectation of a future good which shall never befal them draws their eyes off of a present evil : Thus are they kept and establish'd in Subjection , Peace , and Obedience ; he in Greatness , Wealth , and Power : So you see the Politician is , and must be a Mountebank in State Affairs ; and the Mountebank ( no doubt if he thrives ) is an errant Politician in Physick .

But that I may not prove too tedious , I will proceed faithfully to inform you , what are the things in which I pretend chiefly at this time to serve my Country .

First , I will ( by the leave of God ) perfectly cure that Labes Britannica , or grand English Disease , the Scurvy , and that with such ease to my Patient , that he shall not be sensible of the least inconvenience whilst I steal his Distemper from him ; I know there are many who treat this Disease with Mercury , Antimony , Spirits , and Salts , being dangerous Remedies , in which I shall meddle very little , and with great caution , but by more secure , gentle , and less fallible Medicines , together with the observation of some few Rules in Diet , perfectly cure the Patient , having freed him from all the Symptomes , as looseness of the Teeth , Scorbutick Spots , want of Appetite , pains and lassitude in the Limbs and Joynts , especially the Legs . And to say truth , there are few Distempers in this Nation that are not , or at least proceed not originally from the Scurvy ; which were it well rooted out , ( as I make no question to do it of all those who shall come into my hands , there would not be heard of so many Gouts , Aches , Dropsies , and Consumptions : nay , even those thick and slimy Humours which generate Stones in the Kidneys and Bladder , are for the most part off-springs of the Scurvy : It would prove tedious to set down all its malignant race ; but those who address themselves here , shall be still informed by me in the natures of their distempers , and the grounds I proceed upon to their Cure : So will all reasonable people be satisfied that I treat them with care , honesty , and understanding ; for I am not of their opinion who endeavour to render their Vocations rather mysterious , than useful and satisfactory .

I will not here make a Catalogue of Diseases and Distempers ; it behoves a Physician I am sure to understand them all , but if any come to me ( as I think there are very few that have escap'd my practice ) I shall not be ashamed to own to my Patient , where I find my self to seek , and at least he shall be secure with me from having Experiments tried upon him ; a priviledge he can never hope to enjoy , either in the hands of the Grand Doctors of the Court and Town , or in those of the lesser Quacks and Mountebanks .

It is fit though that I assure you of great Secresie as well as Care in Diseases , where it is requisite , whether Venereal or other , as some peculiar to Women , the Green Sickness , Weaknesses , Inflammations , or Obstructions in the Stomach , Reins , Liver , Spleen , &c. ( for I would put no word in my Bill that bears any unclean sound , it is enough that I make my self understood ; I have seen Physicians Bills as Bawdy as Aretines Dialogues , which no man that walks warily before God can approve of ) but I cure all Suffocations in those parts producing Fits of the Mother , Convulsions , Nocturnal Inquietudes , and other strange accidents not fit to be set down here , perswading young Women very often that their hearts are like to break for Love , when God knows the Distemper lies far enough from that place .

Likewise Barrenness ( proceeding from any accidental Cause , as it often falls out , and no natural Defect ; for Nature is easily assisted ▪ difficulty restored , but impossible to be made more perfect by Man than God himself had at first Created and bestow'd it ) Cures of this kind I have done signal and many , for the which I doubt not but I have the good Wishes and hearty Prayers of many Families , who had else pin'd out their days under the deplorable and reproachful misfortunes of Barren Wombs , leaving plentiful Estates and Possessions to be Inherited by Strangers .

As to Astrological Predictions , Phisiognomy , Divination by Dreams , and otherwise , ( Palmistry I have not faith in , because there can no reason be alledged for it ▪ my own Experience has convinc'd me more of their considerable effects , and marvellous operations , chiefly in the directions of future proceedings , to the avoiding of dangers that threaten , and laying hold of advantages that might offer themselves .

I say , my own practice has convinc'd me more than all the sage and wise Writings evtant of those matters , for I might say this for my self ( did it not look like ostentation ) that I have very seldom failed in my Predictions , and often been very serviceable in my Advice ; how far I am capable in this way I am sure is not fit to be delivered in Print : Those who have no opinion of the truth of this Art , will not I suppose come to me about it ; such as have I make no question of giving them ample satisfaction .

Nor will I be ashamed to set down here my willingness to practice rare Secrets ( though somewhat collateral to my Profession ) for the Help , Conservation , and Augmentation of Beauty and Comeliness : a thing created at first by God , chiefly for the Glory of his own Name , and then for the better establishment of mutual Love between Man and Woman : for when God had bestowed on man the Power of Strength and Wisdom , and thereby rendred Woman liable to the subjection of his absolute will , it seem'd but requisite that she should be indued likewise in recompence , with some quality , that might beget in him admiration of her , and so enforce his tenderness and love .

The knowledge of these Secrets I gathered in my Travels abroad ( where I have spent my time ever since I was fifteen years old to this my nine and twentieth year ) in France and Italy : Those that have Travell'd in Italy will tell you to what a Miracle Art does there assist Nature in the preservation of Beauty , how Women of forty bear the same Countenance with those of fifteen ; Ages are no ways there distinguish'd by Faces , whereas here in England look a Horse in the mouth , and a Woman in the face , you presently know both their ages to a year . I will therefore give you such Remedies , that without destroying your Complexion ( as most of your Paints and Daubings do ) shall render them purely Fair , clearing and preserving them from all Spots , Freckles , Heats , and Pimples , nay marks of the Small Pox , or any other accidental ones , so the Face be not seam'd nor scarr'd .

I will also cleanse , and preserve your Teeth white and round as Pearls fastning them that are loose , your Gums shall be kept intire , and red as Corral , your Lips of the same colour , and soft as you could wish your lawful Kisses .

I will likewise Administer that which shall cure the worst Breath , provided the Lungs be not totally perished and imposthumated , as also certain and infallible Remedies for those whose Breaths are yet untainted , so that nothing but either a very long Sickness or old Age it self shall ever be able to spoil them .

I will besides ( if it be desired ) take away from their Fat●ss who have overmuch , and add flesh to those that want it , without the least detriment to their Constitutions .

Now should Galen himself look out of his Grave , and tell me these were Baubles below the profession of a Physician , I would boldly answer him , that I take more glory in preserving Gods Image , in its unblemish'd Beauty upon one good Face , then I should do in patching up all the decay'd Carkasses in the World .

They that will do me the favour to come to me , shall be sure from three of the Clock in the afternoon till eight at night at my Lodgin●s in Tower-street , next door to the Sign of the Black Swan , at a Goldsmiths House to find