Love at a loss, or, Most votes carry it. A comedy. As it is now acted at the Theatre Royal in Drury-Lane, by His Majesty’s servants. Written by the Author of The fatal friendship. Trotter, Catharine, 1679-1749. Transcribed from a digital facsimile in Eighteenth Century Collections by Lily Sarah Glaubinger EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2021 ESTC T68204 </seriesStmt> <notesStmt> <note/> </notesStmt> <sourceDesc> <biblFull> <titleStmt> <title>Love at a loss, or, Most votes carry it. A comedy. As it is now acted at the Theatre Royal in Drury-Lane, by His Majesty’s servants. Written by the Author of The fatal friendship. Trotter, Catharine, 1679-1749. Printed for William Turner at the Angel near Lincolns-Inn Back-Gate London 1701 Parts of several page scans too faint to make out. eebo Love at a loss. Catharine Trotter 1701 Lily Sarah Glaubinger 82 31654 16 0 0 0 0 0 5.86 B The rate of 5.86 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the B category of texts with fewer than 10 defects per 10,000 words. It has been proofread

Love at a Loss , OR , Most Votes carry it . A COMEDY .

As it is now Acted at the Theatre Royal in Drury-Lane , by His Majesty's Servants .

Written by the Author of the Fatal Friendship .

LONDON : Printed for at the Angel near , 1701.

To the Honourable MADAM ,

THere are some Natures so firm , that 〈◊〉 Applause cannot Transport ; Consensus of 〈◊〉 ( which none are free from ; they are still dissatisfyd or distrustful of themselves , when most admired in the World , but 't is common for the least vain , when oppress'd with Calumny , to assert themselves , and by reflecting on what they find of most worth in their performances , to support themselves under their ill Fate , and take their Revenge in despising the Judgements that condemn'd them ; 't is thus perhaps , Madam , I have encourag'd my self to offer your Ladyship this Trifle , which I confess was once too little my Favourite to have design'd it such an Honour ; I never thought of making any pretence to a Talent for Comedy , but writ this when the Town had been little pleas'd with Tragedy 〈◊〉 , mingled with one of mine , which since the tast is mended , appear'd alone ; and this lay by me a considerable time , till Idleness reminded me of filling it up , thus it was piec'd with little Care or Concern for the success ; not intending to establish my Fame upon it , till some of my Friends assuring me I need not apprehend losing any by it , and the Censure it met with since , endear'd it to me , made me earnest to have it clear it self of the injurious Report it suffer'd under , by appearing in Print , and with the Protection of a Lady whose Character wou'd be its Vindication , and whose tast of Poetry made her a proper Patroness to things of this Nature , and indeed that Quality is most peculiarly yours . Such an universal Complaisance of Temper I never yet met with in a Person , so capable , of so distinguishing a Genius as your Ladyship , and have often observ'd with wonder , that a Lady that knows how to relish the noblest things , and has the finest Entertainment in her self , can appear delighted with the most trivial Amusement in condescension to the Capacity of others : 'T is this , Madam , has made you the Darling of all your Acquaintance , even those who cannot tast your agreeable Wit in your lightest Conversation , and the solid Judgement of your more serious Reflections . 'T is this has secur'd you more than others , of a distinguish'd Merit , from that Malice and Envy which usually pursues the most deserving ; and you must permit me , Madam , to insist on this alone of all your shining Vertues ; I have reason to value that most to which alone I owe the greatest Blessing of my Fate , the share you are pleas'd to allow me in your Friendship ; you , Madam , who are engag'd with so much worthier Subjects of it bless'd in an Excellent Husband and fine Children , to whom ( with all a Mothers Tenderness ) by the strictest care in their Education their Infant years are capable of ; you fill all your Duty , and have the highest sense of your Happiness in Sir , who is indeed a living Instruction of the Moral in the last Verses of this Comedy ; and so well recommends his own Worth by his Respect and Value for you , and ( in an Age when Wives are scarce look'd on but as the impediments of a Man's Pleasure , or at best a Convenience in the setling his Affairs , without aiming at a Satisfaction in her self ) has found his Felicity , in making yours . Thus possess'd of all you can esteem as Solid good , you yet can condescend to let me be a part of your Satisfaction ; I boast it Madam , indeed , but without vanity , as my good Fortune only ; which tho' I may blush to think how partially bestow'd , is not less mine ; and I confess my self so interested to rejoyce in your Foible , when so Advantagious for me , to wish you may always take for merit in me ; the mighty value I have of your Kindness , with the fondness of my Heart for you , in all the possible Respect of

Madam , Your Ladyships intirely devoted And most humble Servant ,
Dramatis Personae .

Men . Mr. Wilks . Mr. Mills . Mr. Williams . Mr. Toms . Mr. Cibber . Mr. Pinkethman .

Women . Mrs. Knight . Mrs. Verbruggen . Mrs. Oldfield . Mrs. Powell .

Servants .

PROLOGUE . WHat must be done to make a Play succeed ? The common Methods are all over try'd ; We want Assurance to expect Applause , Or hope a kind full House without some Cause . Fain wou'd our Authress please , and please you so , That to her self you shou'd the pleasure owe ; We think she 's safe by forces of her own , And like her Native Isle depends on none ; Let her be so by well conducted Scenes , Nor be secur'd , intrench'd behind Machines ; Less by a Name from Italy or France , By Clinch of Barnet , or the Ladder Dance ; Gladly she does disband all Foreign Aid , Let Mother Wit defend an English Maid ; To your own growth for once indulgent prove , The Manufacture of this Town is Love ; Love in great Minds bears indisputed sway , A shapeless Anarchy when that 's away ; The dangerous Paths to Wealth and Fame we tread , Assur'd the toylsome way to Beauty leads ; Love and bright Beauty are the Heroes care , The first learn here , the last view shining there .
EPILOGUE . Spoken by Lesbia WHat certain Hazards do Poor Women run ! They hear , believe , they tast , and are undone ; As they to Men their yielding Hearts resign , And think to meet such after-Claps as mine . Lest therefore , the mistaken Sex should plead Custom from me to venture and succeed , And without Hymen leave , too rashly prove The Dangers that attend unlawful Love . Let those whose Breasts of softer Mold are made , And seem more liable to be betray'd , From me these Observations rightly take That Vertue is esteem'd for Vertue's sake , And Hands , and Seals , and Oaths cannot secure A mind like Man's unfaithful and impure , Tho' I by chance have gain'd the wish'd for Prize , And have my Lover fast in lasting Tyes . When once possess'd , we like fine Garments shew , That last a while , and are flung by for New , And tho' ten thousand LESBIAS may be seen , Where is that Man alive would act BEAUMINE ?
ACT I. SCENE I. Enter Lucilia and Lysetta Lu.

DOes the fool think to threaten me into Love ? Hearts must be won a softer way .

Ly.

Ay Madam , but our Fear often does the Mens Business as well as our Inclinations ; more Women have sacrific'd their Vertue to Reputation , than ever Love has ruin'd ; and if they can but make us kind , what need they care why we are so ?

Lu.

Cleon seems indeed to be of that Opinion .

Ly.

Every Man is , that would be master of his Pleasure .

Lu.

Phillabell has told me a thousand times , he shou'd not think me his , unless my Inclination gave me to him .

Ly.

Because he finds that his best Friend , if he wou'd refuse you from any other , it does not much recommend his Love.

Lu.

That 's your Notion , but ever since I have begun to know my self , your Maxims are not Oracles with me , you shall no more debauch my Reason .

Ly.

Why Madam , what false Maxims did I ever give you ?

Lu.

Shou'd you not have warn'd me of the Deceit and Treachery of Men ? Instead of that , what did you entertain me with , but Tales of happy or unhappy Lovers ? All to insinuate the violence of Cleon's Passion ; How did you represent him to my vanity , adoring , dying for me ? I thought it a fine thing to be courted in Rhimes and Extasies , tho' ev'n in that distinguishing Age he never pleas'd me , which you knew ; and therefore to move my pity , made my credulous Ignorance believe , that if I wou'd not give him some hopes , he must infallibly die for me ; the poor Innocent thought she was oblig'd in Conscience to save a Man's Life !

Ly.

Lord ! Madam , what ado is here about nothing ! Where was the harm of writing a few kind Letters to a Man ? Is there ever a Lady in Paris , that has not done more for half a dozen before she can resolve to Marry one ? And a Wise Husband wou'd no more Repine at that , than he wou'd that his Cloaths does not come directly to him from the Weavers ; all the little Gallantries do but Fashion her for his wearing .

Lu.

Phillabell loves too nicely , not to grudge the least kind Thought for any other Man , and shou'd this Cleon expose your Letters ( for so I must call 'em , since I was but the Scribe of what you dictated ) I 'm utterly undone , my Reputation ruin'd ; and what is worse , Phillabell lost for ever .

Ly.

That wou'd be a base baulk to a Young Lady , just upon the point of yielding to her Wishes ; to morrow is to be the happy Day .

Lu.

Was to be , but Cleon 's resolute to hinder it ; Can you invent a way to Countermine him ? You have been cunning to undo me , employ your Art for once to save me .

Ly.

Madam , whatever the Event has been , my aim was never to undo , but serve you ; if I had known that you cou'd never have lov'd Cleon , or foreseen your passion for Phillabell , I had not engag'd you so far ; but since 't is past recalling , we should only think of preventing future Mischiefs ; but all my Counsels will be suspected .

Lu.

Indeed I believe you wish me well , prithee Advise me .

Ly.

You must by no means undeceive Cleon till you are Marry'd ; persuade him that you love him still , and only Marry Phillabell in Obedience to your Father ; give him some hopes of making him Happy afterwards .

Lu.

Well , and what will this do ?

Ly.

Do ? Is there any Man that would not rather have another Man's Wife than make her his own ? 'T will do all that you would have it , make him as eager for the Match as you are your self ; instead of preventing it , as his Letter threatens .

Lu.

But can I endure he should imagine I would wrong Phillabell so basely ?

Ly.

What are you the worse for his Imaginations ? Besides , you can easily disposess him of 'em , when you have once secur'd your Husband .

Lu.

Methinks 't is so dishonourable a Deceit I can't relish it .

Ly.

Nay if you scruple the Cheat , you may keep your word with him .

Lu.

Prithee be Serious .

Ly.

Well Madam , this is certain , unless you give him hopes false or true , he will not fail to expose all your Letters to Phillabell ; I need not make you apprehend the Consequence .

Lu.

'T is such a fatal one , I would not at any rate prevent it ; but you know he 's not allow'd to visit me , 't is impossible for me to see him to day in private , and to write a Letter after the manner propos'd , you wou'd be putting it more in his power to Ruin me , than I have ever done before .

Ly.

Ay , but at the same time you give him the Power , you shew him that 't is against his own Interest to use it ; and when you are once believ'd ( which his Vanity will help you in ) and have gain'd a little time , twenty wiles may be thought of to get the Letters out of his Hands .

Lu.

My Case is desperate , and therefore the Remedy must be so ; once more I will be govern'd by you , he sends me word he shall be in the Walks this Evening , you shall carry the Letter thither to him .

Enter Lesbia . Les.

'T is seasonable to wish you Joy to day , Lucilia ; tomorrow Phillabell will give it you , and then my Wishes would be needless .

Lu.

He is indeed a Man to make a Woman happy .

Les.

Ha , ha , ha , are you practising the decent Gravities of a Bride against to morrow ? Prithee , away with that sullen Look , or I shall think you are angry with this impertinent Day for stepping between you and the Wedding one .

Lu.

You are not so much in hast I find ; but my Dear , what if you shou'd Marry Beaumine to morrow , 't would be friendly to keep me in Countenance .

Les.

No , no , I won't lose the Pleasure of making Observations upon you .

Lu.

But tell me seriously why you delay your Marriage so long .

Les.

Phough , I came to divert my self with talking of your Wedding , and you wou'd make me dull with the Thoughts of my own .

Lu.

Believe me Lesbia , if I did not love you , I would not urge you farther ; but I am vex'd to hear some malicious Reflections that are whisper'd of you , and must ask you why you give the Occasion .

Les.

Some fitter time I 'll tell you .

Lu.

Lysetta , we wou'd be private . — Now be free with me . ( Ex. Lys.

Les.

Well , if I must lay aside my Mirth a while to tell you a sad Tale . — You have often heard me speak of one Grandfoy , whom I lov'd before I knew Beaumine .

Lu.

You have told me he was false .

Les.

I thought him so , but he has since convinc'd me that I wrong'd him , tho my Suspicions were , you know , well grounded ; he 's still the Man which he appear'd at first , all Truth and Goodness , and loves me more than I can now deserve .

Lu.

I shall think you deserve a great deal of him , and if you decline so Considerable a Match as Beaumine for his sake .

Les.

When you know my Story , I fear you 'll say he ought to despise me .

Lu.

That 's impossible , but pray my dear go on .

Les.

Just in the height of my Resentment against Grandfoy , Beaumine first saw , and lov'd me , he address'd to my Mother , who easily gave her Consent , his Fortune being very Considerable ; to be short , her Commands were Sacred to me , and I believ'd it would be some Revenge upon Grandfoy , which was the Chief motive of my resolving to Marry Beaumine ; he propos'd to have it secret whilst his Mother liv'd , because she design'd him for another ; no Priest wou'd Marry us without her Consent , he told me then it was the tye of Hearts that made a Marriage ; but fearing mine should Change , to make me sure , he writ a Contract , which we both sign'd with our Blood ; and to confirm it , he led me to the Holy Altar , where he Vow'd to take me for his Wife — I don't know how to tell you the rest .

Lu.

You e'en took him for a Husband , Is it not so ?

Les.

He often importun'd me to live with him as such , and at my refusal , lost all the natural Gaiety of his Temper , and much avoided seeing me ; my Mother dying , he came to condole with me , I saw my self unguarded , and willing to Engage him in my Interests ; I flatter'd him with all the artful Tenderness I could affect , this made him press me more eagerly than ever ; agreeable as he is , I never lov'd him much , and yet I don't know how he found the yielding Minute , betwixt you and I , Lucilia : Is not there one of which we are not Master ?

Lu.

I will believe so for your sake , tho I think it would be always in my Power to refuse a Man any thing that is not fit for him to ask : But how did Beaumine behave himself afterwards ?

Les.

Very Fond at first , but now grows Careless , and sometimes Insolent ; still he let me hope that he would Marry me after his Mother's Death , which satisfy'd till Grandfoy assur'd me she dy'd just after mine , tho' he Conceals it from me .

Lu.

That does not look as if he meant you fairly , but your Contract will oblige him to do you Justice .

Les.

If it cou'd , I wou'd not Marry him against his Inclination .

Lu.

What do you resolve on then ?

Les.

I must first know certainly what he intends .

Lu.

His Intentions seem so indifferent to you , that I must believe yours are more for Grandfoy .

Les.

Indeed he shews so generous an Affection for me , it Claims all my Gratitude , and since I find my suspicions of him were unjust ; Did not my Honour Oppose it ? I confess I could love him more than ever .

Lu.

Does he know of your Affair with Beaumine ?

Les.

He does , and made me promise , that if upon the Tryal I found Beaumine unfaithful , I would be govern'd by him ; to confirm my word I gave him a Ring , which was Beaumine's first Gift to me ; you have seen me wear it .

Lu

Did not Beaumine miss it ?

Les.

I told him I had lost it , which he easily believ'd , not having ever heard that I lov'd another , and I have taken care as far as Art wou'd go , to persuade him that I love him , for that I thought both my Interest and Duty .

Lu.

I wish you may not find your self abus'd ; the World is much mistaken in him , if he has any Thoughts of Marriage , but to rail , or make his Jest of it .

Lys.

A Man of this Age must no more speak well of it , than of Religion , and yet perhaps there 's as few Marriage haters as Atheists .

Lu.

What then can put the Men upon professing it ? One wou'd think it can be neither much for their Honour or Interest .

Les.

At first to gain the Reputation of Wit , by affecting a singularity in their Notions ; and since that by Imitation , or Humour , they are become the common Topicks of Raillery , many take up with it for want of Resolution to bear with their being the Ridicule of their Companions .

Lu.

And is this your Opinion of Beaumine ?

Les.

I believe there 's more Humour and Affectation , than any serious Reflection in it ; and have less reason to fear his love of Liberty , than some other Chains .

Lu.

Why are you Jealous of him ?

Les.

Only of his rambling Temper , he takes care to give me no particular aim .

Lu.

He seems indeed to make love to every Woman , and mean it to none .

Les.

Miranda and he were mightily pleas'd with one another to'ther day , she happen'd to come in when he was with me ; she gave him leave to visit her , and talks of him perpetually ever since ; he does not seem to think much of her , or I should apprehend her a dangerous Rival , she 's so much of his own Humour .

Lu.

But she 's engag'd to another too .

Les.

Ay , and says she loves him .

Lu.

'T is strange she shou'd , there can't be two more opposite Tempers than Constant's and hers .

Les.

And what pleasure she takes in Teazing and Tormenting his Gravity .

Lu.

And in pleasing every Man else .

Les.

Well , Coquet as she is , I shou'd not be pleas'd to have Beaumine pursue the Acquaintance .

Lu.

Then he has not made her a Visit yet .

Les.

He does not own it to me .

Lu.

I shall see her to day , and if I hear any thing of him , you shall be sure to know it ; for if he is not sincere , the sooner you are undeceiv'd , the better . — My dear , Will you go to my Closet with me ? I have a Letter to write in haste , t will be quickly done , you 'll excuse me for a Minute .

Les.

I expect to see Grandfoy immediately , and must take my leave of you .

Lu.

May all you undertake succeed to your own Wishes .

Les.

I scarce know what I wish , only all happiness to you .

Ex. severally ,
SCENE changes to Phillabell's Lodgings . Enter Beaumine and a Servant . Beau.

Is your Master busy ?

Serv

He 'll be a 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 to see you , Sir , I am sure .

Beau.

Tell him I 'm 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 this poor Fellow , Ex. Serv. he might have been a fit Companion- for us Men of Spirit and Pleasure , but for this damn'd dull Matrimony .

Enter Phillabell . Ph.

Beaumine ! What sudden dearth of Wine , or kind Women , has reduc'd thee to thinking ?

Beau.

Only a sense of my Friend's Misfortune , I came to condole with you ; Faith Phillabell , I am heartily sorry for thee .

Ph.

For me ! Why , what 's the matter ? I know no cause you have , I was never so satisfied , so easy , so full of Joy , as in this minute .

Beau.

Why is your Marriage broke off ?

Ph.

Broke ! Heaven forbid ! You wou'd have reason to condole with me then indeed .

Beau.

And are you certainly to be married to morrow ?

Ph.

I hope so .

Beau.

Strange ! but he 's mad poor Man .

Ph.

Why , Did you hear any thing to the contrary ?

Beau.

No , and therefore am amaz'd to hear such agreeable Words , as satisfied , easy , full of Joy , out of the Mouth of a condemn'd Man , if thou art in thy Senses .

Ph.

Oh a Satyr upon Marriage , Is that your Intent .

Beau.

Faith , I would willingly reclaim thee , if thou art not too far gone , to hear Reason .

Ph.

I cou'd never find any reason why a Man shou'd be uneasy in the Possession of a Woman that he loves , only because he enjoys her without breaking Humane or divine Laws .

Beau.

What are Laws but Chains to our Wills , our Inclinations ? Destroyers of Liberty , the dear Prerogative of Nature .

Ph.

But Libertinism is not a Priviledge to be very fond of , and that 's all we are deny'd .

Beau.

'T is better to be lost with Pleasure , than preserv'd in Pain .

Ph.

The pain of being always my Lucilia's , won't much employ my Philosophy to support it .

Beau.

And are you sure you will be always of this Mind ? Do you imagine she will be always young , always handsome , and that you shall always love her ?

Ph.

I am sure she will always have Wit , good Humour and Vertue , and by consequence , that I shall always love her .

Beau.

But what if all that you call good Humour shou'd prove Affectation nothing else , and Vertue , but the Art of well dissembling ?

Ph.

To dissemble well is vertue , or what we can't distinguish from it .

Beau.

Ay , ay , but the Disguise is always laid aside , when there 's no farther need of it ; when you are enter'd into Bonds , 't won't be worth her Pains ; the fear of losing a Lover , only can make 'em careful to please ; if you but saw the fond endearing , Lesbia , what Arts she uses to engage me , how well she thinks 'em all return'd by one kind Word or Look ; and then the tender Niceness of her Passion ; she lost a Ring the other day which I had given her , never was any thing so moving as her Complaints ; I told her she shou'd have one twice the Value , but that would not appease her , she said 't was the first Present I had made her , and she fear'd the Loss , a sad Presage that she should lose my heart ; nothing could comfort her but my repeated Vows of never changing ; Are there such tender Sentiments in Marriage ? You 'll find a cold Civility the best part of their Entertainment , after a Months Enjoyment .

Ph.

I should expect no better , if I had chose an unthinking Coquet , or one whose broken Fortune might make her snatch at the first hope of repairing it ; but Lucilia is reserv'd and prudent , her Fortune equals mine ; she has refus'd many considerable Matches , and I have reason to think my self the only Man that has found the way to her Heart ; I know she hates Cleon , and treats with Scorn or Coldness , the rest that languish for her ; In fine , I have all the Security for a lasting Love and Happiness , that Reason can desire or give .

Beau.

Lasting ! Why , thou hast nam'd the very Bane of Love and Happiness , what , that 's old can Charm to Extasy ? Or not be dull with being oft repeated ?

Ph.

And what that 's new can be relye upon ? Or how can you enjoy a Happiness , that you are always in danger of losing ?

Beau.

Rely'd on , O most firmly Phill , ( Sings ) They still are constant whilst possest , and can do more for no man . — — And faith , fickle as they are , they must be plaguy quick to make me complain of losing them ; but if any of 'em shou'd run out of my Arms , to another's , ( for then she is sure to have the Start of me ) I have always One in hand that supply's the Vacancy .

Ph.

Nay that 's the way indeed not to be much griev'd at their Loss ; for betwixt two , you can't be very fond of either .

Beau.

You 're mistaken man , it makes me very fond of both ; if they knew Nature , a Woman wou'd never fear losing a Man so much as when the Coyness or Jealousy of one , has vex'd him , he fly's to another that with Kindness restores his good Humour ; and when her over-fondness has cloy'd him , he returns to the first for fresh Appetite ; for by one of these Extreams , the Woman always lose us , they are either so capricious , they grow troublesome , or so tender , they grow dull ; but temper'd thus , they give the Relish to each other .

Ph.

If you cou'd convince the Women of this Doctrine , you might both have your Ends by it ; but whilst they are of another Opinion , whatever Advantage it may be to them , you ll hardly find your Account in it ; He that pursues two Hares , will catch neither .

Beau.

Still he has the greater Pleasure in the Chase , to observe their different Crossings , Windings , and little Arts ; sometimes their very Fear , you know , makes 'em run full into the Hounds mouth ; but if you do not give over too soon , there 's none of 'em but may be wearied out , then seize the panting Quarry , and she 's yours .

Ph.

Well , give me the Woman that resigns her self upon Deliberation and solid Reason , that as it makes the gift more valuable , so more secure .

Beau.

That is , more insipid .

Ph.

There 's no disputing Tastes , the very Trouble of continual fresh pursuits , wou'd make Variety disgustful to me .

Beau.

Which gives me the highest Relish ; but I need not endeavour to convince thee , thy Wife will do it effectually , since thou art resolv'd to purchase Wisdom at the dearest rate , experience ; What a lamentable Figure thou 'lt make , preaching it to others , as a Fellow at the Gallows does Honesty , when 't is too late to make use of it himself . — — But I 'll leave you to prepare for your solid Blessing . Will you meet me in the Walk this Evening ?

Ph.

If I have nothing else to do , perhaps I may .

Beau.

I Gad , I beg thy Pardon , I forget thou 'rt a Man of Business . Honest Matrimony . Adieu .

Ph.

Well , well , laugh on , I am contented you shou'd have your Jest , so I secure my Happiness ,

With a chaste Wife , like my Lucilia , true . Beau. I , with a Mistress , ever Gay and New . ( Exeunt severally .
ACT the 2d . SCENE Lesbia's Lodgings . Enter Lesbia and Grandfoy . Gr.

I wou'd not appear in your defence , till you have try'd Beaumine to the utmost , that he may have no pretence against you .

Les.

I never gave him any yet , nor can he find an Excuse now for deferring our Marriage , since the only Obstacle he pretended , is remov'd by his Mothers Death .

Gr.

But I advise you not to take notice of your knowing it , nor shew any distrust of him , if he has the least Honour , the Confidence you seem to have in him , will be a stranger Engagement .

Les.

But shou'd he still refuse me ?

Gr.

You promise then to be dispos'd by me ; I wear the Pledge of your Fidelity .

Les.

Won't it be a bold Venture to put my self in the power of a Man I have injur'd ?

Gr.

Unless in your unjust Suspicions of me , you only have been injur'd , your Misfortune with Beaumine has a thousand Excuses on your part , as unhappy as it makes me ; O Lesbia , that I should ever think it reasonable to wish you anothers ! To force a Man to deprive me of all I value !

Les.

'T is scarce reasonable indeed to value me now so much , as to care whose I am .

Gr.

I have such an Opinion of your Sincerity and Vertue , that even now , would you consent to be mine , I should receive you as the greatest earthly Blessing , but that you have refus'd me , unless Beaumine , by a declar'd infidelity , entirely release you .

Les.

Imagine with what difficulty I do it , whilst I receive such Proofs of Love from you , whom I have had too much Kindness for , ever to be indifferent to , or equally to value any other .

Gr.

Curse on that Fate that forc'd me from you so abruptly , to make me lose that Kindness , by seeming false , then , when I lov'd you most , and ever must , tho' now your Heart 's anothers .

Les.

I fear Grandfoy , you are still but too dear to it .

Gr.

Yet you refuse the Offer I have made to marry you .

Les.

'T is the only Return I can make to so generous an Offer ; if my own Honour did not oblige me to it , I owe it to your Love and good Opinion , for 't is the only way I can deserve 'em .

Gr.

How little does Beaumine deserve this Treasure that values it so lightly ! I must approve the Vertue that undoes me ; and to preserve it as free from Suspicion , as it is of Guilt , I 'll leave you , since you expect Beaumine , for your sake I would not have him know me , unless he force me to revenge your Wrongs .

Les.

You are in all things Noble .

Gr.

If you are for the Walks this Evening , I shall see you again ; Cleon sent this Morning to desire I wou'd meet him there , he has something to ask my Advice in , I suppose some Love Adventure , for that 's his only Business .

Les.

His only Discourse indeed , but the great Talkers of Intrigues , as of Religion , have usually the least of either ; and indeed whatever a Man studiously affects to seem , 't is a shrewd Sign he 's conscious of not being it in reality .

Gr.

But the reality of Intrigues are generall private , and only to be known by talking of 'em , which , believe me , is the Chief Part of the Pleasure to many of our Sex.

Les.

I fancy only to those that are allow'd no other Part , but they who are truly well receiv'd among us , if not in Gratitude to those who have oblig'd 'em , will be cautious to secure their Designs upon others ; Love is not to be rais'd like Valour , by Emulation .

Gr.

I don't know what it may do towards kindling a Flame , but I am sure 't will encrease it ; many a Woman from a little liking to a Man , has become passionately in love , only upon finding another was pleas'd with him .

Les.

Then she must know it by her Rival's Indiscretion , and not his Vanity , for that only shews his Weakness , but the other the force of his Merit ; but indeed , if Cleon should rely upon that , his Mistress would scarce find any Occasion of Jealousy ; his Vanity appears too grosly , the good natur'd Fool his Brother , is the more supportable .

Gr.

Poor Bonsot , he always means well ; but unluckily makes more mischief by officiously endeavouring to prevent it , and pretending to know every body's Business .

Les.

Then his Bulls are diverting enough , they fall so naturally from him .

Gr.

As near Relations , I must bear with ; and would hide their Folly's . But we shall forget our selves , till we give Beaumine occasion of Jealousy , which , tho' sometimes our Sex find their Ends in , 't is always a dangerous Expedient for yours , for what you gain in Inclination , you lose in our Esteem . Fear of a Rival will enflame Desire ; But the Distrust of her soon quench the Fire .

Les.

That way leads to the back door , you 'll be secure from meeting him . — — Few men would use as Grandfoy does such a Confidence as I have had in him ; but sure never any ( Exit Grandfoy Woman made the Experiment before me ; if the Lover can but be kept ignorant , no matter what he discover , when secur'd a Husband ; I must own those Women have more Courage than I ; Cheating in all other Cases , may be only playing the Knave ; but any Deceit in Marriage must be egregiously playing the Fool , when the very Injury we do , gives the Power of revenging it .

Enter Beaumine . Beau.

Ay , at home , you 're as sure of finding an old Mistress , as a Creditor that expects you to pay him an old Debt , in good Humor too , I warrant ; I was afraid , Madam , you had not been come home yet .

Les.

How cou'd you imagine that , when I had hopes of seeing you ?

Beau.

Ay , I thought so ; well , this is the Dev'l ; Faith , Lesbia , I do what I can to be very fond of you ; but if you will take pains to hinder it , I cannot help it .

Les.

I don't know that I have done any thing to displease you .

Beau.

Why , there 's it , you shou'd do something to displease me , Love is an active , restless fire , That without Agitation , must expire .

Les.

I thought a constant Fuel of lasting Worth and Kindness , would preserve it .

Beau.

It may keep it in , but 't will burn very dimly without blowing , Lesbia .

Les.

I wish I knew the Art of doing it .

Beau.

Why you should go abroad , when you 're sure I shall come to see you ; look angry or cold upon me , without telling me why , when I would caress you ; and when I expect you should be fond of me , make me suspect you are thinking of another ; in short , vex , perplex and disquiet me , that supplying me always with something to employ my Thoughts on , they may have no leisure to wander .

Les.

I rather take Care by the regularity of my Conduct , to shew you what you may always expect from me ; for tho' these Arts may be agreeable in a Mistress , you would scarce be pleas'd with 'em in a Wife .

Beau.

Nay , thou hast thought of a way now to put a Man out of his Humor , with a vengeance , but the worst Contrivance to raise an Appetite you could have found out ; you have all of a Wife , but the Name , the want of that flatters me with an imagin'd Liberty , and you must bring it in , to spoil a Man's Fancy .

Les.

I like your Railery , Beaumine , since I don't doubt but your serious Thoughts are to make me that in earnest , which the Name of , serves you for a Jest .

Beau.

Ay , ay , there will be a time for serious Thoughts , Respect and Reverence , which Wives should have , and that you know , is paid to Antiquity , Lesbia ; but Love and Raptures , for the young and free .

Les.

Thus , I can never be satisfy'd , or angry with this Man ; Is it impossible for you ever to answer seriously and directly , Beaumine ?

Beau.

Why truly , if you would have my Thoughts , I wou'd counsel you against the most unaccountable Extravagance , you are designing .

Les.

What 's that ?

Beau.

You have now a great deal of my Love , 't is certain Marriage won't add one Jot to it , and very possible it may extreamly lessen it ; Now would any one in their Senses , that were in Possession of a good Estate , without any prospect of bettering it , put it to the Chance of a Dye , whether they should keep it or lose it ? I am thy own , and keep me as thou hast me ( Sings ) Thus ever Frolick , ever gay .

Les.

Thou art the most agreeable , tormenting Devil ; — — But pri'thee , tell me , what I am to expect .

Beau.

Expect — — Why , that the old Woman will die , and that — —

Les.

But will the old Woman ever die , Beaumine ?

Beau.

Humph ! pugh , what 's Age and Death to us , my Love ? They are melancholy Thoughts ; we 've Life , and Youth , and Liberty , my Lesbia , ( Sings ) And live a thousand years a day .

Les.

Thus may this gay Humour fool me on for ever , I must try him farther . — — Well , thou art the madest Fellow , sure there is not your Peer in France , unless Miranda , 't is pity Fate has not joyn'd you ; What did you think of her ?

Beau.

I thought very well of her whilst I saw her , but have not thought at all of her since ; she 's a very Coquet , pleas'd with every man , and pleases all whilst with 'em ; but no sooner out of sight , than she forgets , and is as easily forgot .

Les.

She has not forgot you so soon , I assure you ; but have not you refresh'd her Memory ?

Beau.

Not I , upon Honour .

Les.

I 'm glad of it .

Beau.

Why ? You would not have been Jealous .

Les.

No , but I think 't will be better you should not visit her at all , for I know she likes you .

Beau.

Not visit her because she likes me ! Now hang me , if I can find that out to be a good Reason .

Les.

It might be dangerous to fan a Fire , that 's yet but kindl'd .

Beau.

Nay , I have no Design to see her ; but what Whim of yours is this ? She likes any thing for her Diversion .

Les.

But talks of you in Heroicks .

Beau.

A new Humour .

Les.

And is very importunate to know , if there 's any Amour betwixt you and me .

Beau.

Curiosity , I hope , did not satisfy her .

Les.

She seem'd so much concern'd , I cou'd not deny her positively ; but betwixt Railery and Earnest , left her in doubt , which made her so uneasy , she said , she would soon see me again , and hop'd I woud be more sincere with her .

Beau.

By no means , I charge you , Women of her Humour are always prying into the Intrigues of their Companions , by gaining their Confidence , or raising their Jealousy , to make 'em the Jest of the next Company ; never trust any of your own Sex , especially such a giddy Thing as Miranda .

Les.

Since you desire it , you may be sure I 'll be cautious , tho' I know she was serious .

Beau.

I suppose you can't think you have any reason to fear her .

Les.

If I had distrusted you , I wou'd not have told you of such an agreeable Rival ; and I expect in return of the Confidence I have in you , you should avoid a Woman , that I believe loves you .

Beau.

I Gad , a very nice piece of Honour , I must have no mind to a handsom Woman , because you have let me know she has a mind to me ; Well , as far as Flesh and Blood can reach it , I 'll act this Romantick lover .

Les.

Then you won't visit Miranda .

Beau.

No , since you would not have me , not that I think there 's any danger in it , but I 'm very indifferent in the Matter ; if she happen to fall in my way , and Mischief should ensue , — — remember you were my Tempter .

Les.

I dare trust you .

Beau.

Well then , to put my Vertue to the Proof . ( Going .

Les.

Where are you going ?

Beau.

To Miranda .

Les.

Pshaw , you 're always fooling , but I have Business .

Beau.

So have I , but what 's yours about ?

Les.

Our Marriage .

Beau.

And mine is Love , I cannot think of two Things at once , so directly opposite , so first for that of greatest Moment . ( Going .

Les.

But will you tell me — —

Beau.

How Miranda receives me ; what Favours she refuses , what she grants , All , all .

Les.

But Beaumine .

Beau.

But Miranda .

Les.

Pugh , that 's a Jest .

Beau.

Then you don't believe I 'm going to her .

Les.

No , I 'm sure you won't .

Beau.

Now the De--l take her for not being Jealous , that I might have a right to deceive her , for I 'm afraid I cannot forbear ; but 't is no matter , there 's no truth in these Cases ; and since We all are false alike in love , 't is clear , He that dissembles best , is most sincere . ( Exit Beau.

Les.

Thou Magotty , barbarous , good humour'd , ill natur'd Toad ; he is gone as fleet as Winds , but I as fast shall fly , Since , whilst a stale , try'd lover I pursue , If he escape me , I secure a new . ( Exit aft . Beau.

SCENE changes to Miranda's Lodgings . Enter Lucilia and Miranda . Lu.

Nay I protest you 're to blame , Miranda , to use a Man thus , that dotes upon you .

Mir.

If he does not like the Humour , what makes him dote on me ? We 're both pleas'd with one another , only have different ways of shewing it ; he 's fond of my Gaiety , I laugh at his Gravity ; he whines , I sing ; he takes care to shew his Fidelity , I to make him jealous ; that 's his way , this is mine , we take several Roads , but I fear both lead to the same dreadful End , we shall e'en meet at last in Matrimony , tho' I am for going the farthest way about .

Lu.

Since you are resolv'd to go through the Journey , 't is the wisest way to make it as short as possible , for fear you should spend too much of your Stock of Love , or be robb'd of it by another upon the Road , and not have enough to subsist on when your Travels are over .

Mir.

I 'm not so extravagant in my Expences of it , and for Robbers , there 's more danger of them in our place of Rest ; for tho' Matrimony is too strong an Edifice to be demolish'd , its Guards and Enclosures are weak and easily broke thro' , and Love is a Treasure not to be confined , it flips like Water from the hand that would restrain it ; if you would secure it , leave it lose and free .

Lu.

But 't is impossible you can love Constant , and not have a Mind to marry him .

Mir.

Indeed I don't love him so well , but that I had rather torment him , than he should torment me , rather have variety of Diversions lie heavy upon my hands , than the Affairs of my Family , I like the Squeaking of a Fiddle , better than the Squalling of Brats , and an obsequious humble Servant , better than a surly Lord and Master .

Lu.

I fancy 't is some other humble Servant you like better ; this Beaumine you were talking of , runs mightily in your Head .

Mir.

In my Head ! in my Heart , in my Sleep , I dream of him , sigh for him , die for him ; O 't is the easiest , gayest , wildest , most engaging , every thing that suits my Humour ; I long for him again , if he likes me well enough to visit me , I shall grow so fond of him .

Lu.

Why , you can't love 'em both .

Mir.

I 'll swear , I do extreamly , I love Constant best at a distance , Beaumine when he 's with me , to think of one , laugh with t'other , he diverts me , t'other improves me ; one will make the better Husband , t'other the more agreeable Gallant .

Lu.

Well , wildly as you talk , I don't doubt but you 'll make a very good Wife .

Mir.

I don't doubt but he 'll make me so , take a full Revenge of my Tyranny when he has got the Power in his hands , therefore I resolve to raign as long as I can . But here come my Soveraign Elect ; I thought , Sir , you had Business with my Uncle , ( Ent. and therefore left you without hopes of this Happiness so soon .

Con.

I thought , Madam , you had Business , that you ran from me so abruptly , when I was talking to you of what concerns me nearest ; but it seems 't was only to be rid of me ; I 'm sorry my Company is so displeasing .

Mir.

'T is a strange Lover that won't give his Mistress leave to think of him ; I came but to sigh for you in secret .

Con.

Sigh in secret , when we may smile together ; O Miranda , sure you but abuse my doating Heart , and make my love your Sport .

Mir.

Why , what 's Love , or any thing else good for , unless to divert us ?

Con.

I might have thought indeed , your sprightly Temper could not long brook my heavy , sullen Nature , but tell me freely I am troublesome ; and as I never ask'd your Uncle his Consent , till you permitted me , so will I not now use his Authority , but leave you free , to chuse a Humour that may suit you better .

Mi.

Don't disturb your self about that , I shall quickly be as sullen as you , when we 're marry'd , no doubt .

Con.

That wou'd but hinder our Resemblance then , for sure that happy day that calls you mine will quite dissolve the earthly part of me , refine this Mass , and make me Spirit all .

Mir.

Leave you the Ghost of your departed Love . And me to mourn in Tears my wretched Fate . That your's expir'd too soon , mine liv'd too late . There 's Rapture for your Rapture , Canstant .

Con.

Well dear Tormentor , don't weary out my love then e'er , you use it , but cherish it whilst young and vigorous , and it will be immortal .

Mir.

Then I must keep it in its Native Air , for they say Marriage is a very Cold Climate .

Lu.

I believe indeed it kills the hottest hasty Plants , but preserves and often produces such solid Fruits are most fit for constant Nourishment , and bears Sweets of its own growth too , Miranda .

Mi.

Well , seriously Lucilia , I have been trying this Month to compose my Face for the Wedding day ; for I fancy if one has not a most Reverend Countenance , one will never be thought in earnest at so unreasonable a thing , as taking for better , for worse ; it looks so like a Jest or stark Madness .

Con.

Keep your mad Countenance then , and do it in Jest .

Mi.

Ay , but that surly one of yours , Constant , has such a Husbandly Air , 't will spoil the Jest ; I never look upon it but I 'm afraid I 'm marry'd already .

Con.

I 'll endeavour to put on a more agreeable one ; turn , any thing to please you .

Mi.

Then 't is resolv'd we will be Kings no more .

Con.

O when my Life ? My Joy , now I am Gay as thou art .

Mi.

Nay that has undone all again , those laughing Eyes bring to my Thoughts that Charming Fellow , that Danc'd and Sung himself into my Heart ; I must have some time to drive him out again , and then Constant . — —

Con.

Who ? What is 't you talk of ?

Mi.

O such a Grace , such an Air , such a Humour ; if you knew him you must be fond of him for love of me , he 's just my Counter-part .

Con.

I know she rally's , yet it tortures me .

Mi.

What in the dumps ! Nay don't be Jealous .

Con.

No , no , but 't is intolerable Cruelty , to make sport of what my Life depends on .

Mi.

'T is in Concern for your Life I would delay this Marriage , for if in the height of my Passion the tempter shou'd come in my way , he makes an Attack , Duty opposes , Inclination assists him , Prohibition Strengthens it , Nature prevails , runs away with me , you pursue and cut his Throat , I break my Heart ; you can do no less than Stab your self to compleat the Tragedy , and prevent all this Mischief . — —

Con.

We 'll take care to avoid the Tempter .

Mi.

That can't be done without having him always in my Thoughts ; no , no , Constant , you have a better way of Curing a Womans Love , being perpetually with her ; and since you have found it so effectual an Experiment , I 'm resolv'd to try it upon my new Inclination , till he has said all the fine things he can , shew'd all his Humours , play'd over all his Tricks , left nothing farther for Imagination to work on ; but grown as dull to me as a Book I have just read .

Con.

Or as I am to you now ;

Mi.

Then you 'll be new again , like one that has been long out of Print , and I am always fond of the Second Edition , Revis'd , Corrected and Amended ; but be sure you take care never to let me peruse it thro' , reserve something for my Curiosity , Constant ; for you know the best Books when we have studied 'em perfectly , are thrown aside , or only kept for Shew , and any triffling Novel that we never met with before , entertains us better .

Con.

Thou art never to be thoroughly known , the more I study Thee , the more I am perplex'd ; find something clear enough to engage my search , but still too doubtful to determine on ; Wou'd you provoke me first to break a Contract you Repent ? Or is 't to try my Constancy , you thus Torment me ? Are you not satisfy'd ? What Fool but I cou'd have endur'd so much ? But , Madam , I 'm not made to bear for ever .

Mir.

What , is it ' nangry now ? And what wou'd it do ? Can it break its Cage ? Flutter about , tire it self , and hurt its Wings ; and to what purpose ?

Con.

I am thy Slave , Miranda , but 't is the more ungenerous to use a Creature in thy Power so inhumanly ; I dote upon thee , dote on that very Humour that distracts me , be serious once to free me from the fear of losing thee , and ever after I wou'd have thee Gay , as Nature form'd thee .

Mir.

For ever after I am sure , be dull enough , and therefore now indulge my natural Gaiety ; but let me see what time of the Moon is it , about the Full , I may be dispos'd .

Con.

Still in Raillery , I beg thee , I conjure thee .

Mir.

Well , I am good Natur'd , and since you are so impatient — —

Con.

O speak .

Mir.

I am resolved — —

Con.

When , when , my Charmer ?

Mir.

As soon as possible to engage my Charmer , grow weary of him as fast as I can , return to you with new Pleasure , then here 's my hand on 't .

Con.

O torture , torture , 't is too much , Miranda , you may find , fond of my Prison as I am , I 'm not so strongly chain'd as you imagine .

Mir.

Alass , and will you leave me ?

Con.

Well , Madam , you shall no more insult . Ex. Con.

Mir.

Not these two hours I 'll engage .

Lu.

Nay he can never return after this .

Mir.

Only half a dozen times a day , he makes and breaks these Noble Resolutions .

Lu.

I 'm sure you deserve to lose his Love , and for my part , I 'm amaz'd , it has subsisted so long with such ill usage .

Mir.

O ! the Men's love is not so easily Starved as Surfeited ; 't will live upon the lightest airy hope , tho' soon destroy'd with fondness , we lose Lovers by over care , than neglect , Lucilia .

Lu.

You wou'd make 'em very ungenerous Creatures , but I believe Gratitude , is as strong a tye to them , as to us .

Mir.

Just as strong indeed , and if you wou'd speak your Heart as freely as I do , you wou'd own we take most pains to appear agreeable to a new Acquaintance ; put on our best Looks , shew all our Wit , all our good Humour , every thing that may engage , whilst a Lover we have well enough secur'd not to fear losing , is receiv'd and entertain'd as negligently , as a Cousin German .

Lu.

On the contrary , if I would use any Arts , it shou'd be to please a Man , who by prooffs of a lasting Affection had engag'd mine , and I cou'd never think it return'd with sufficient Tenderness .

Mir.

Think , but I speak of what we do without thinking , the natural Effect of such a Composition as Mankind are of , Vanity is Inconstancy .

( En. Beau. Lu.

Of which behold the very Abstract ! Lesbia must know this . ( Aside .

Mir.

This wild Creature here ! And who the duce expected him .

Lu.

There was no need of Expectation to make the Blessing dear .

Mir.

Psha , because I jested ; Wou'd he were hang'd for coming .

Lu.

Nay , now I shall believe you love him in Earnest .

Mir.

I 'll swear , so shall I too , I was never so confounded in my Life . ( Apart . Love him — — Ay , I love him well enough — — any where else — — but methinkes here — — I don't know — — I wish he had not come .

Lu.

Well , I 'll leave you , for I believe he wishes so too , finding me here .

Beau.

A very odd Reception , maybe , she does not know me again ; but I 'm sure , Lucilia does , and this goes to Lesbia immediately ; but no matter ; I know how to make Peace with her , when I have settled my new Conquest .

Mir.

Wish she had not seen him here , What can that mean ? Is she my Rival too ? ( Apart .

Beau.

I fear I am unwelcome , Madam , tho' I had not ventur'd without your Permission .

Mir.

Pardon me , Sir , I was persuading the Lady to stay , the more to oblige you in return of this Favour .

Beau.

The Lady knew better how to oblige me .

Mir.

I don't doubt but she knows much better how to please you .

Beau.

She has only put me in the way of being pleas'd , but that depends upon the fair Miranda ; which if she design , she need only be her self again ; indeed that Gravity is no more becoming , than natural to you .

Mir.

why d' ee think I affect it ?

Beau.

That I can't tell , whether you are displeas'd with seeing me , or mightily pleas'd , and have no mind to shew it , those Eyes must better inform me .

Mir.

Whatever they say , I find you can make a favourable Interpretation of it .

Beau.

I confess , Madam , I love to be easy , and to give every thing the most Advantageous sense it will bear , if it ben't the way to Truth , I am sure it is to Happiness .

Mir.

Giving yourself false hopes , is the sure way to meet with Disappointments .

Beau.

Not at all , Vanity gives a Man Confidence , and that 's successfull with the Fair as well as the Great .

Mir.

Why , do you believe any Woman ever lov'd a Man because he had the Vanity to fancy she did ?

Beau.

At least it gives him a Chance for being belov'd , which he can never have without the Courage to Attempt ; for Example , Madam , had I modestly said to my self , Beaumine , thou' rt a very disagreeable Fellow Miranda can never like thee , 't is in vain to hope it ; I had certainly not come near you , you had thought of me no more , or had lost the Advantage of your thoughts , however favourable .

Mir.

And you have the impudence to tell me , you believe I shall like you .

Beau.

And does not every Man that tells you he likes you , mean the same thing ? But I beg your pardon , Madam , I confess 't was very indecent , so unmodish a thing as speaking Truth to a Lady .

Mir.

Which is so far from offending me , you could not have oblig'd me more , than by telling me your thoughts , to give me the pleasure of disappointing you ; and to shew you how vain , how mistaken you are , how little an Opinion I have of you ; I must tell you when you came in , I was thinking you the most fickle , inconstant , falsest thing in Nature .

Beau.

Now cannot I help thinking , you won'd not have troubled your Head whether I was false or not , if you had not been concern'd in it .

Mir.

And do you imagine I can like a Man I had such an Opinion of ?

Beau.

We are naturally fond of our own Resemblance , and by that Rule to gain Miranda's good Graces ; I can't be too false , or too volage .

When present we 'll love , when absent agree ; ( Sings . I think not of Iris , nor Iris of me . Mir.

Nay , now you have vanguish'd , there 's no resisting that , the very Image of my own Heart , I can make the Exchange without missing it ; but not a word of Sighing , Dying , Fidelity , Constancy , or any of that dull form ; for 't will immediately be sensible of being out of its Element , and return upon the Wing .

Beau.

And upon peril of losing mine , let me never hear you have the least remembrance of me when I am from you ; not a word of me in Heroicks to Lesbia .

Mir.

For fear of spoiling your Amour with her .

Beau.

What jealous ? That 's against the very end of our Agreement , but I don't care if we do clear Accounts to this day , and begin upon a new Score of roving .

Mi.

In which we 'll strive to out-do one another in Extravagance ; but first , how far you are engag'd with Lesbia .

Beau.

That you may be judge your self , whether she can have any Concern in me ; know , she told me you had a Penchant to my Person .

Mi.

By which I conclude she was jealous .

Beau.

And do you think then she would have ventur'd to let me know of so dangerous a Rival ?

Mi.

'T was in Raillery no doubt .

Beau.

Ay indeed , she did railly enough upon it , that the Gay , the free Miranda , should be caught at last ; therefore not only for fear I should suspect you of Constancy , but if you would not be the subject of her Mirth ; Speak of me for the future with more caution .

Mi.

And Lesbia's Jest , I suppose has occasion'd me this favour .

Beau.

Why really , Madam , I might protest , and lye , and swear ; I could neither eat , nor rest since I saw you ; but if you 'd have the Truth , I have always found among all other Attractions , Kindness only has resistless Charms , and by the means you 've gain'd secure your Conquest .

Mi.

A way by which most of your Sex are lost ; but why may not you be as particular as I am ? This plain dealing of yours has Charm'd me beyond all things , and sure 't is as much out of the road for a Woman's Affection to be engag'd by Sincerity , as a Man 's to be secur'd by Kindness .

Beau.

Ay indeed , you are seldom to be satisfy'd , unless we engage for as much more Love than we have , as we are willing to release you from paying ; but I am no dissembler , Madam , and must confess my Love for you is none of those violent Passions that will of course abate ; 't is in so moderate a degree , that even your Fondness could not lessen it .

Mi.

And mine so indifferent , your sincerity can't disturb me ; so without a scruple , confess what Interest Lucilia has in you .

Beau.

Really , Madam , she 's at present very indifferent to me , but I believe , I shall shortly have a violent Passion for her , she 's going to ruine an honest Friend of mine , and I shall hate her heartily for it .

Mi.

How will she ruine him ?

Beau.

Marry him , How can a Woman ruine a Man else ?

Mi.

O mischievous ! But to shew you that I know she is not indifferent to you , she said her self , you would wish she had not been here at your coming .

Beau.

And thereby hangs a Tale . ( apart ) Faith , Madam , she was in the right on 't , I had much rather have had you alone ; she knew my thoughts , and comply'd with 'em , I thank her , the first Favour she ever did me , or I ever wish'd from her ; so now , I hope all past Accounts are clear'd .

Mi.

And for the future . Beaumine

( sings ) We 'll neither believe what either can say , So neither believing , can neither betray . Beau.

And at this rate our loves must be eternal , there 's no danger of Quarrels or Satiety .

Mi.

Ay , if all lovers had follow'd our Example , we had not heard so many Complaints of faithless Nymphs , and perjur'd Swains .

Beau.

But they must be perpetually dangling at one another's Elbows ; and the little time they are parted , enquiring after every Action or Step they take , for fear they should go astray .

Mi.

So tire one another when together , and torment themselves assunder ; and no wonder , they soon break a knot , that with drawing too strait , sits uneasy upon them , and is the weaker it self , bursts upon the least irregular Motion .

Beau.

Well , Madam , that we may profit by others folly's , I believe it 's time to part before we are weary of one another .

Mi.

For now we have told all our thoughts , we are in great danger of growing dull ; next time we meet , ten to one , but we shall be quite of another mind , and so new again ; In order to it , I 'll give you a Song made by a Heroick Lover of mine , perhaps it may infect you with Sighing , Whining , Dying Love . — — Who 's there ? Desire the Gentlewoman in the next Room to walk in ; you 'll oblige us , Madam , with the Song I gave you last to learn . ( After a Song . ) Well Beaumine , How does it affect you ?

Beau.

I melt , I languish , am all transport , now , ( Sings a Line of the Song ) What shall I say to work upon thy Soul !

Mi.

O most Apish ! How ridiculous a Man appears when he would cross Nature ! He may as well expect to be finely shaped by putting on another Man's Cloaths , because they fit well upon him they were made for , as to please , by affecting the most agreeable Humour in another , it hangs as awkwardly upon him , and is as easily perceiv'd not to be his own .

Beau.

Then I must e'en stay from you till I am so much forgot , my own will be new again .

Mi.

Which need not be long , I assure you , out of sight , out of mind .

Beau.

A pleasant way of inviting me to return soon ,

Thus whilst the Artful Sex in words deny , The secret sense , and their kind looks comply . ( Ex. Beau. Mir. Thus we gain Lovers , and secure our Fame , We promise nothing , and they nought can Claim . They fancy Pleasures when we speak of Pain , And hopes enough , their Passion to maintain . Ex. Mir. .
ACT the 3d. SCENE the publick Walks Enter Lesbia and Lucilia . Les.

By his manner of speaking I cou'd not imagine he wou'd visit her , this is a new way to deceive by speaking Truth .

Lu.

A sure one , 't is so little expected from a Lover .

Les.

I 'll never forgive it him , What pretence can he have to excuse this ?

Lu.

If he get off now , 't will be a Master piece of his Art indeed .

Lys

Impossible , I wish we may see Grandfoy here to Night ; he said he was to meet Cleon in the Walks , and I wou'd willingly have his Advice how to behave my self now , before I see Beaumine .

Lu.

I 'm mistaken , if that is not Beaumine , coming this way with Phillabell .

Les.

The very same , and gay as Innocence it self .

Lu.

There 's no avoiding 'em now , they 're so near , they see us .

Les.

Well , I won't disappoint you , for I know you wou'd be so peevish all this Evening ; if you shou'd not speak to him now , there wou'd be no enduring you , tho' he was with you so lately .

Lu.

You 're mistaken , tho' I never think I see him too often , I could have spar'd it now ; since Cleon is to be here , their meeting might prove of ill Consequence , considering that Coxcomb's Design I told you of ; 't is not yet the time he appointed me to send my Answer , but we 'll go off soon , and oblige them to go with us , if we can .

Enter Beaumine and Phillabell . Beau.

So the Friends are together , and all 's out ; well ; I must take the old way of complaining first , when we know our selves in fault .

Ph.

I 'm pleas'd at this unexpected good Fortune . Madam , the sight of you gives me soft pleasures that compose my Soul transported ; now my happiness approaches , with my impatience of one day's delay , and Joy to think it is but one .

Beau.

Indeed Lesbia , I did not imagine you had so much indescretion , but Women can no more forbear talking of their Amours , than an ill Poet of his Verses ; tho' they equally expose their folly , by what they design to gratify their Vanity with , and usually prove as tiresome to their Hearers , unless such as have ill nature enough to divert themselves with every thing that 's Ridiculous in another .

Les.

I don't know what you aim at , but I think indeed Women deserve to be laugh'd at , that boast of any king Thoughts , for such faithless things as Men are .

Beau.

You 'll guess what I mean , when I tell you I have seen Miranda , and know all you said to her .

Les.

You 'll know what I mean , when I tell you I heard that before , and guess what you said to her .

Beau.

Really , Madam , so you may , you gave me cause enough to suspect you had let her know of our Engagement , and I resolv'd to see her , to find out how far you had discover'd ; I was never so out of Countenance in my Life .

Les.

'T would have been a wonder to have seen that indeed , for I 'll swear you have an extraordinary assurance .

Beau.

To be so laugh'd at , to hear you so ridicul'd , for being overreach'd by a Creature that professes abusing every body ; you wou'd have been asham'd to have seen your self so describ'd , so mimick'd so . — — I did not know what to say for my self or you .

Les.

She abus'd you , if she told you I said any thing positive .

Beau.

Positive , but such signs , such things — — O Lesbia , Lesbia , that you cou'd be caught by such a shallow Artifice .

Les.

I 'm sorry , Sir — —

Beau.

Well , you know I love you , and can easily forgive you anything ; but I hope you 'll be more cautious hereafter .

Les.

I think Beaumine , 't is time our Engagement were made known to every body .

Beau.

Ay , ay , We 'll write each others Name on every Bark ,

The Winds shall bear our Vows to distant Climes . And Eccho every tender word rebound . Les.

Good Romantick Sir , Will you condescend for once , to Answer directly a little intelligible sense ?

Beau.

O ! that were to wrong my Love , a Lover , and speak sense ! To answer in cross Purposes , in broken Murmurs , and disjoynted Words , expresses Passion .

Les.

Do you think I 'll be always put off with this trifling , Beaumine ?

Beau.

O ! mighty things have been produc'd from Trifles , the cackling of Geese once sav'd the Capitol ; Men's promises have gain'd many a fair one , and Women's Favours lost 'em many Lovers ; Trifles , trifles all , but great Effects .

Les.

Is not that to tell me I have lost you , by what you think a Trifle ?

Beau.

No , to shew you I don't think your Favours a Triflle , and have no mind you shou'd lose me , I wou'd have 'em still Favours , the more to engage me , and not turn all to Duty .

Les.

Had you talk'd thus to me at first , Beaumine . — —

Beau.

You had lost a great deal of Pleasure , Lesbia , and laugh'd at me for a Fool .

Les.

Which is something better than a Knave .

Beau.

Good words , good words , Madam , Knaves are precise , protesting , plotting , thinking Creatures ; but you 'll find this mad , maggoty Fellow , a very honest Fellow at last .

Les.

At last .

Beau.

Well , if you 'll have me marry you just now , I 'll run and fetch a Priest immediately . ( Going .

Les.

I think you 're mad in earnest , Why Beaumine ?

Beau.

O Gad , I forgot , the Canonical Hour is over . ( Sings ) But if I ever play the Fool , dear Cloris , I am thine . — — Well ( turning to Phill. ) What can you have to say to one another all this while ? You are agreed upon the Premisses , are convinc'd of that mutual Affection ; and to answer for the future , can only serve to call the Sincerity of the present in question .

Lu.

Why so , Sir ? I think 't is rather a Proof of the present , a sign we find it so great , we believe it will always last .

Beau.

Ay , Madam , but if I hear a Man swear to a thing done out of his Sight , tho' it may happen to be true , I shall think he has a large Conscience , and scarce believe him in what he might now ; and indeed , we may as well swear to any thing done in Japan ; as for our future Inclinations , they are no less out of our knowledge or power .

Ph.

I think a Man that knows himself not to be of a wavering Temper , if he has well consider'd the Merit of his Choice , may venture to promise for his Constancy , without prejudice to his Honour .

Beau.

But to what end should he promise ? Will it secure his Inclination one Minute the longer ? O but it secures the Woman he would engage . — — Madam , my Friend 's a very honest Fellow , I believe he thinks what he says ; but 't is your fault , if you take his Word for what he cannot know ; we had rather you should rely upon the Power of your Charms ; and if the Ladies will force us to add Perjury to our Natural levity , the Sin must lie at their Door .

Les.

'T is a Folly indeed to rely upon their Word for future Inclinations , since few of 'em can answer for their future Actions .

Beau.

Really , Madam , our Actions are generally guided by our Inclinations , this is not an Age of much Mortification . But are not you for walking , Ladies ?

Lu.

I 'm a little tir'd ; What think you of going off Lesbia ?

Les.

I 'll wait upon you , Madam .

Ph.

We 'll attend to your Coach , Ladies .

Lu.

Maybe you would not leave the Walks so soon .

Ph.

Well , come back and take another Turn or two . To morrow early as the day , I 'll visit you , and hope your Wishes ; my fair Bride will meet me .

Lu.

You never yet could come too early for 'em .

Beau.

What a deal of tenderness are they going to morrow to destroy !

( Sings ) Wou'd you , wou'd you love the Nymph for ever , Never , never , never , never , never let her be your Wife . ( Exeunt . Enter Grandfoy , Cleon , and " Bonsot . Cl.

Let me expire , my false Nymph , going off with her Lover ! Before my face ! In the very place where I sent her Word I would be tonight ! The inexpressible Confidence of a faithless Woman !

Bon.

Nay Brother , don't be angry , I dare say she meant no affront to you , only to make him believe she don't care for you .

Cl.

Then she 's the greater Jilt , Brother .

Bon.

Humph , Pugh , Lord , you will think the worst of every thing ! Do but look how loath she is to leave you ; she stands still all the while she goes .

Gr.

That 's an extraordinary Art indeed .

Cl.

I don't doubt her Affection . — — But the Fellow 's rich , if she consulted her Honour or Happiness ; Is such a Grossiere as Phillabell to be preferr'd to me ? I protest , I almost pity her .

Gr.

Ay , ay , e'en let the weakness of her Choice be her Punishment , 't is below your Resentment .

Cl.

Nay , 't is not that I value the Creature , but then to disappoint my Rival will be a good Revenge for his presuming to hope , where I had once made my Pretensions ; therefore he shall see all her Letters ; I can't but think how sillily the Fellow will look , Ha , ha , ha .

Gr.

But you don't consider what a Kindness you 'll do your Rival , in preventing his Marriage with such an undistinguishing Coquet ; I fancy they 'll better revenge you upon one another .

Cl.

I Gad , thou art in the right , Couz .

Bon.

Ay faith , that 's well said , I hate Mischief ; and then you know , Brother , 't would vex you more , if she should refuse you , after you had shewn so much Concern for her .

Cl.

Impertinent Suppositions ! to shew you the impossibility of it ; I 'm now positively resolv'd to pursue my Design .

Bon.

Hay , why , I meant , in case , d●e see . — — Pugh , Brother , you are so hasty . — — I would have said , Psha , do not be so ill-natur'd . — — But I mean , that is , suppose , he should be very fond of the Honour of being your Rival . — — Ay , d' ye mind that now ? And so force her willingly to marry him .

Cl.

Then wou'd I , after they are marry'd , expose her Letters to the whole Tawn ; that will be an immoderate pleasure , rat me .

Bon.

That might breed Quarrels now between a Man and his Wife .

Cl.

She 'll be the more sensible of the ill Judgement of her Choice .

Bon.

Phough .

Gr.

O but that is not en Cavalier , 't will be look'd upon as Vanity .

Bon.

Ay this will do — — but now I think on 't better , I don't believe he 'll be angry — — being a very humble sort of a Man ; he 's likely to be Proud that you shou'd be vain of his Wife's Letters .

Cl.

Vain ! No , no , the Town know well enough , if I wou'd boast , there are Ladies of more Wit and better Judgment than Lucilia , that have afforded me de Quoy .

Bon.

Ay Brother , the Lady , you know , that never work'd in her Life , and made you a Cravat all with her own Hands .

Gr.

What , she drew the Picture of his Cravat ?

Cl.

O no , she really made the very Lace I have on , now you know Women of a great deal of Wit never work ; but as love once rais'd a Blacksmith to a Painter , so it made her descend from her nicer Speculations to this Mechanick Employment ; that I might wear the product of her Fingers .

Gr.

O wonderful Effect of Passion ! I confess .

Cl.

Ay , if you consider the Elegancy of the Work.

Beau. and Ph. En. here unseen . Gr.

O extreamly Elegant .

Cl.

That 's a very fine Ring , I never saw thee wear it before ; some Ladies Favour undeniably , come confess , confess .

Gr.

Why , yes faith , 't was a Ladies Favour .

Cl.

She must be of Quality by the Value of the Present .

Gr.

'T was given her by another Lover , his first Present too .

Cl.

O most obliging ! But how did he bear it ? ( Here he sees the Ring .

Bon.

Ay , if he shou'd hear of it now what a deal of mischief might come on 't .

Gr.

I laugh'd heartily at the pains he took , and the Presents he made , that she might be the less afflicted at the loss .

Cl.

Kind Cully — — so she pretended she had lost it .

Gr.

Ay , the Jest is — — pr'thee Cleon turn this way . ( Seeing Beau.

Cl.

This is the place I appointed to send the Answer of my Letter .

Gr.

Damn your Letter , pr'thee come . ( Ex. Cl. and Gr. in Confusion .

Bon.

Hey day , what vagary's this ? He 's afraid of some body I think .

Beau.

Ha! This confirms me — — dam'd Jilt .

Bon.

And this Gentleman seems Angry , I have a good mind to stay and hear what he says , that I may prevent their quarrelling together whilst they 're asunder .

Ph.

How now Beaumine ! What 's the matter ;

Beau.

Did you know him that turnd off just now ?

Ph.

Very well , 't is my Coxcombly Rival , Cleon , don't you know him ?

Beau.

Pox of your Rival , t'other , he with the Ring I 'd know .

Bon.

Ay , 't is so .

Ph.

But why so fretful ?

Beau.

Plague ! do you know him ? Can't you Answer ?

Ph.

Why , I do not know him ; but what if I did ?

Beau.

O dissembling Witch !

Ph.

What 's this Passion for ? Who has offended you ?

Bon.

I hope , Sir , you are not angry with the Gentleman you enquire after ; he 's a Relation of mine , Sir , and a very Honest Gentleman , I dare say , if he offends any body wilfully , it must be without his knowledge .

Beau.

Then you may give him the knowledge , Sir , that he wilfully wears a Ring I may make bold to take from him , Sir.

Bon.

O Lord , Sir , as for that , if you have a mind for the Ring , I 'll engage 't will be at your Service ; my Cousin's a gonerous Person , that does not value such a Trifle , nor the Person he had it from , in comparison of your Friendship , I dare say , Sir.

Beau.

Why , do you know the Person he had it from , Sir ?

Bon.

Ay , Sir , any body may know her ; a meer common Creature , she 's kept indeed by a Coxcomb , a soft headed Cully .

Beau.

You know him too , sir , I suppose .

Bon.

A Fellow not worth knowing — — but the Wench is very fond of my Cousin , and a Man does not know how to deny a Woman .

Beau.

Very well , Sir — —

Bon.

I tell you the plain Truth , to shew you that you need not quarrel with my Cousin about the Ring ; for he does not care this for it , nor the Lady neither , you may have them both , if you please , Sir.

Beau.

You are very impertinently Civil , Sir.

Bon.

O Lord , Sir — — nay I must say that for my self , I am a very Civil , good-natur'd Fellow , I can't abide to see People when they are at quiet and in good-Humour , quarrelling with one another .

Ph.

That 's a strange sight indeed , Sir.

Bon.

Ay , Sir , I hope you 'll persuade your Friend not to be in a Passion for nothing ; about something of a Ring and a Lady , a Jilt not worth his Concern , Sir ,

Beau.

That I am very well convinc'd of , sir , your Cousin and the Lady , and the Ring , may go to the Devil for me , as they please , Sir ,

Bon.

Oh , Sir , your very humble Servant , that 's all I desire , that they may have leave to go to the Devil in quiet , Sir , I have no more to say , Sir ; I 'll be sure to tell him how Civil a Person you are , and I don't doubt he 'll have the same Complaisance for you , begin your Journey when you will ; he 's none of the hottest Cholerick Fellow , when ever he 's in a heat against any 't is in Cold Blood ; your very humble Servant , Sir , I 'm extreamly oblig'd to you indeed , Sir. ( Exit .

Ph.

What a soft officious Fool this is ? but pr'thee what Concern have you in the Ring you talk'd of ?

Beau.

By Heaven , the very same I gave to Lesbia .

Ph.

Ha , ha , ha , ha , ha , why , thou can'st not be Jealous , what of Lesbia ! The fear of losing thee , you know , will keep her faithful .

Beau.

Who cou'd have suspected ?

Ph.

O never think it , she that valued not the loss ; but as a sad Presage thy dearer heart would follow ; ha , ha , ha .

Beau.

Prithee leave thy fooling .

Ph.

Were she a Wife indeed ; but Lesbia , she whome nothing cou'd console , but thy repeated Vows of never changing ; ha , ha , ha .

Beau.

Lesbia false ! where shall we look for Truth !

Ph.

Not in a Woman that has sacrific'd her Honour , but such a one as my Lucilia ; O what a Treasure ! This makes me more impatient to be Master of it ; 't is an Age till to morrow , wou'd she this Night were mine .

Beau.

Why , truly , when a Man is to be hang'd , a Nights Reprieve gives him but so much time to torment himself with the Apprehension . O I cou'd Curse the whole jilting , Hypocritical Sex.

Ph.

They are all Lesbia's , but thou mayst Rail , thy Malice cannot reach Lucilia ; the Abstract of all goodness , so true , so innocent ; I had much ado to persuade her t'other day , that any Woman cou'd be false to her Husband , or even pretend to love where she did not .

Beau.

And you believe her ? Is there any of 'em that cannot talk of Sincerity ?

Ph.

O! 't is stamp'd on all her Actions ; then she 's so reserv'd , she hated Cleon for his Impudence , he has made her blush a thousand times with the Liberty of his Discourse and Actions , Is not that her Governess ?

Beau.

I think so .

Enter Lysetta , with a Letter , which going to hide as she sees Phill. . She le ts fall accidentally . Ly.

This is the place , but I don't see Phillabell here ! Then I must not stay for >Cleon . ( Ex.

Beau.

She 's in mighty haste , what have we here ? A Billet doux ?

Ph.

I believe 't is Lysetta's , you had best call after her .

Beau.

The Direction gives me a Curiosity to open it — — Nay now . Phill. I 'm made a Convert to Marriage . ( Reads it to himself .

Ph.

What can have wrought such a Miracle !

Beau.

Why a Proof of thy Lucilia's Vertue and Sincerity ; Do you know her Hand ?

Ph.

Perfectly .

Beau.

Is this like it ?

Beau.

Is this like it ?

Ph.

The same to Cleon , some severe repulse I suppose .

Beau.

Ay , really , 't is pity to use the Poor Man so severely .

Ph.

She never thinks she can use him ill , or me well enough . ( Reads ) You are ignorant what force the first Engagments have ; and you as little know my Heart , when you imagine it capable of loving any thing — — but you . — — Am I awake ! — — If I marry Phill. 't is to obey a Cruel Father , who will Sacrifice me to his Interest — — the rest is yet more baseness , it can't be Lucilia's

Beau.

No , no , Lucilia's ! you know she hates the impudent Fellow , for making her blush so often .

Ph.

I can scarce Credit to my own Eyes .

Beau.

O! why should you against so much Sincerity ? 't is stamp'd on all her Actions — — I dare swear 't is in this — — she can't think it possible for a Woman to be false to her Husband , or pretend to love where she does not , there 's a Treasure ! 't is an Age till to Morrow ; Shan't we have a Wedding to Night , Phill ?

Ph.

I 'll not believe it .

Beau.

Never , never , were she a Woman that had sacrific'd her Honour indeed , but one so reserv'd as thy Lucilia ; ha , ha , ha , Prithee le ts have the Wedding to Night , Phill. Come , hang delays .

Ph.

Torment me , Am I thus paid for all my Doting love and generous Trust ?

Beau.

The sure Reward of trusting ; What should hinder people from being false , when they are certain not to be suspected ?

Ph.

'T is a base Principle .

Beau.

A Woman's Principle .

Ph.

Nay , I can joyn with thee now in Railing .

Beau.

Let 's bid defiance together , to the whole Ensnaring , Damn'd , Lying Sex.

Ph.

Agreed , and yet there was such pleasure in believing , I could almost wish I had not been undeceived ; had she but Truth , she were an Angel.

Beau.

May be so , for I am sure she could not be a Woman ; betwixt you and I , what a couple of Coxcombs we are to dote upon what we despise ! I see you love this Lucilia still , and to confess the Truth ( now neither of us can laugh at t'ther . ) I find Lesbia's infidelity strikes deeper at my Heart , than I thought any of her Sex could reach ; she has in gaining and loosing , spoilt more of my good Humour than the whole Kind could be worth in exchange .

Beau.

O! A meer liking only , she is young and Airy .

Ph.

And new .

Beau.

Ay , if you could add kind , I do not know but those two Monasyllables might have more force to make me bear Lesbia's inconstancy than all Seneca's Morals ; but there is an old Mistress of mine that still Rivals them all ; the faithful Bottle , shall we try it ?

Ph.

I care not if I do , for I fear I shall never forget Lucilia , but when I forget my self .

Beau.

Come along then , this is a Mistress we can both enjoy without being jealous of one another .

Loves Niggard Spirit must the bliss engross , Companions wou'd the happiness destroy , But wine does all its Charming pleasure lose , Unless we generously Share the Joy. ( Exeunt . Enter Lucilia and Lysetta . Ly.

Ay , this is the unlucky place .

Lu.

There 's no hopes of finding it , I am undone , I shall be expos'd to the whole Town ; nay for ought I know , Phill. himself may have found it .

Ly.

This comes of a Woman's taking pains to do good , labouring out of her own Vocation . O! Madam , there 's Cleon coming this way , now you may e'en carry your Message your self , that it may be sure not to fail .

Lu.

'T will be the likelier to fail , I cannot speak such things as you made me write , or if I should , 't would be with so much Constraint , he must perceive it false , you know I can't dissemble .

Ly.

I know you have practis'd it as little as any Woman , but trust Nature , Madam , trust Nature , and consider a young Husband will do you a great deal of good , your Sincerity , — — e'en have none at all , 't is not a Vertue for this designing World ; Nay , on my Conscience , I don't know why it should not be thought as much a Vice to prostitute our minds to every Fool , as our Bodies ; Truth is the Chastity of the Soul , and should not be expos'd to any man that would put it to the Proof . — — Here he is , Have a care of your metaphorical Chastity , or you may be forc'd to keep the real one , for Phillabell ; and if that does not frighten you . — —

Lu.

Peace fool .

Enter >Cleon . Cl.

I hope I have not miss'd the Letter , for I cannot positively determine whether I shall condescend to hinder her Marriage or not , till I know how she expresses her self . Here in Person ! This is Excess of Civility indeed , I always thought her well bred . — — This unexpected favour , Madam — —

Lu.

And undesign'd , Sir , I assure you .

Ly.

O! Sir , the most unfortunate accident , my Lady sent me with a Letter to you , but meeting with one here , I was afraid should see me , I dropt it in my Surprize ; my Lady , in a fright , came hither to look for it , but in vain , 't was gone , and no body knows what mischief may be done with it .

Cl.

Was the Subject of it Dangerous ?

Lu.

Indeed it was .

Ly.

It complain'd of your injustice in suspecting my Ladys Love , because she was forced to Marry another ; and said such kind things of hereafter .

Cl.

Was there a Superscription .

Ly.

Ay , ay , your Name was upon it .

Cl.

O very well , that will be an excuse for what it contains to those that know me .

Lu.

Ridiculous Vanity ! There need not much pains , I find , to persuade this thing , he is belov'd .

Cl.

So , Madam , you marry Phill. to express your Aversion very Emphatically ! But how do you shew your Affection for me ?

Lu.

By not marrying you .

Cl.

That is a favour I confess , but methinks , not very particular ; I 've a World of Rivals in it .

Lu.

O that cant't be avoided , but you are the only Person I particularly resolve never to marry .

Cl.

As a Proof of your fondness .

Ly.

Ay Sir , my Lady fears she should have such a World of Rivals , she cou'd never be easy with you .

Cl.

O Lard , Madam , there 's no Danger , but really I think , when a Man is singularly Eminent , he shou'd never Marry ; for he injures the Person he bestows himself upon , by exposing her to the Envy of your Sex , and the rest by giving 'em despair ; it was worth the care of the Government in this scarcity of Persons of Merit , to forbid Monopolizing ' em .

Lu.

Indeed I wou'd not injure my Sex so much as to Monopolize such an extraordinary Person as Cleon ; this Fool can't be flatter'd too grossly . ( apart .

Cl.

Well Madam , since you are pleas'd to prefer me to Phill. in your Esteem , I won't distrub his imaginary Felicity ; but I was thinking it might not be amiss to shew some of your obliging Letters to my Friends , that it might justify to the World , ( who might judge you by your Choice in a Husband ) the niceness of your Wit and Judgement .

Lu

O by no means Sir , they 'l conclude you would not have done it bu by my Consent , and take it as an effect of my Vanity .

Cl.

You are in the right , Madam , there may be cause to suspect it , and Vanity is of all Follies the most Odious .

Lu.

And yet he thinks himself agreeable ! nay really I think vanity a very harmless thing ; it does no body any hurt , those it deceives are the better for it , having no other quality to make 'em satisfy'd with ' emselves ; the rest of the World know , that like all other Artificial Lights , 't is only to supply the defect of the Natural , and as they burn the brighter in the darkest Nights ; so it appears most , where there 's least Merit .

Cl.

Justly observ'd , Madam , Vanity is a very charitable Flatterer ; I have known it encourage an unbred , ill drest Fellow , to make Love to a Lady that every body knew I was well with .

Lu.

That might make him despair of pleasing her indeed , but I hope the Lady judg'd better of your Merits .

Cl.

Yes faith , Madam , she judg'd him blockhead enough , for that dull Animal a Husband , avoided me , to secure her Vertue , and carry'd him out of Town , to shew she was asham'd of him ; and if that did not mortify his Vanity — —

Lu.

And secure him from Jealousy , it shew'd her Discretion , as great as her Judgment .

Cl.

No , strike me dead , it had been wiser to have stay'd , and giv'n him a Cause of Jealousy ; the only excuse a Woman can have for Marrying a Man she does not love , is to secure her pleasure with the Man she does , 't is a way among the Women of Condition to contrive for their Interest before they Marry , and their Inclination after ; but the Rustick had infected her with his stupid Society , 't was only want of Modish Conversation , a finish'd good breeding .

Lu.

Well , to shew you I am better Bred , and not to be spoil'd by the stupid Conversation of a Husband , I 'll always have it with the Ceremony of a New ; and the Coldness of an old Acquaintance , never have the same Diversions , and seldom the same Bed.

Cl.

Very courtly upon Honour , then for your Lover , Madam , he must make one in all your avow'd Pleasures for a blind to the secret stoln ones , be always with you at Cards , hand you to your Coach from the Play , be very free together in publick , to appear the more innocent ; then he must be very intimate with your Husband to make him the more secure of you , — — and the Town the more suspicious .

Lu.

I don't doubt but with your Instructions to prove as Modish a Mistriss as a Wife , I promise never to avoid you , to secure my Vertue .

Cl.

Then I have no Obstacle to fear for all the Women I have address'd to , wou'd never see me again , knowing the only way to Conquer , was to fly ; I shall certainly Attack , Madam , and then you will not find your Vertue in Danger — — but no vertue at all , I am positive .

Lu.

Indeed , I positively believe there will be no Vertue at all in the Case , I shall not once struggle with my inclinations to resist you .

Cl.

A , a , it wou'd be in vain , but a little for decorum — — the poor thing is strangely fond ; well , Madam , that I may be happy hereafter , I will be secret now , and if you please , appear at your Wedding more gay than the Bridegroom .

Lu.

You 'll be a welcom Guest ; but I dare stay no longer — — live upon hopes — — substantial Food enough for thee — — Vain , empty things , more solid cou'd not bear . who 're nothing else themselves , must live on Air. ( Ex.

Cl.

Well , I profess this is a very generous Age , these Marry'd Men are at the Expence of what we don't care to do , and we in Return do for them , what they never cou'd do ; In mutual Charities we pass our lives , They keep our Mistresses , we please their Wives ! ( Exit .

ACT the 4th . SCENE Miranda's Lodgings . Enter Miranda and her Woman . Mi.

O , ay , I 'm within to her , desire her to walk up . ( Ex. This is a very quick return of my visit , how fond Lesbia and I grow of late ; there are not such dear Friends and constant Companions in the World , as Women that are Jealous of one another — — O! my dear , this is so obliging .

( En. Les.

I cou'd not deny my self the Satisfaction any longer , and I hope you 'll take it kindly ; for there 's no body I desire more to be believ'd a Friend to , than Miranda .

Mi.

And no body , I assure you , desires more to be yours ; but how can I think you mine , when you are not free with me ? You always speak with so much reserve .

Les.

Indeed , if I had any secret to impart , I shou'd do it freely ; but since Beaumine has been to visit you , no doubt he has convinc'd you , you had no reason to think there was any thing between us ; you may engage with him as you think fit , without any injury to me .

Mi.

I engage with him ! Lord , I but jested — — Sure you did not think me serious , — I had a Curiosity indeed to know your Amour ; but did you imagine I cou'd have any design upon such a vain , pert , unaccountable Creature ?

Les.

This is certainly affected , I 'll be hang'd if the Traytor has not caution'd her too against trusting me ( apart . ) you gave him much better Epithets once , Miranda ; but instead of thinking him that Charming Fellow , I find now you extreamly dislike him .

Mi.

No extreams indeed , he 's perfectly indifferent to me .

Les.

'T is true , that 's all he deserves to be , I see nothing extraordinary in him .

Mi.

You thought much better of him once too , Lesbia — — Now have I a shrewd suspicion , this faithless Swain has made us distrust one another , that he might the better deceive us both ; Well , if it is so , I 'm resolv'd to torment her , and be reveng'd of him ( apart . ) Well , my dear , since you assure me you have no concern in him , I 'll confess my weakness ; that 't was with all the difficulty imaginable I constrain'd my self for your sake , not to make a return to such tender , engaging Things , as I thought him uncapable of saying .

Les.

O villain — — No doubt he can say what he pleases , Madam .

Mi.

O! but in a manner so persuading — — and yet , till you confirm'd it , I wou'd not believe him , tho' he vow'd he had no love for you , and told me all you said to him of me .

Les.

Traytor ! — — As a Friend , Miranda , I advise you , not to rely too much upon what he tells you ; for to my knowledge , you are not the only Person he makes addresses to .

Mi.

Nor is he the only I 'll receive Addresses from ( Sings ) He 's fickle and false , and there we agree — — We shall have the more Adventures to entertain one another with ; so be diverting always , always new , and I 'll engage to secure him the more , by not endeavouring to confine him .

Les.

Secure him ! Sure you forget you 're engag'd to Constant .

Mi.

No , but I 'm in hopes very soon to torment him out of his Love or his Senses , that I may have my Liberty .

Les.

Phough , now I find you Jest indeed .

Mi.

The D—— 's in me , I think , I 'm so possest with this giddy Humour , it gives a Tincture to my most weighty Affairs ; but if I cou'd look languishing , and sigh — — O the dear Charming Man ! there is no Joys , no Life without him ! t would not half express my Heart ; now I have found he 's not insensible , and then you know his Fortun 's very Considerable , I can't see how I can do better .

Les.

Whether you are in earnest or no , Miranda , I must tell you seriously , it won't be for your Reputation to receive from a Man of his wild Character .

Mi.

Really ! I 'll swear I shou'd not have thought so , having met him at your Lodgings .

Les.

I intend to get rid of him as soon as I can .

Mi.

O! If everybody throws him off I 'm resolv'd to receive him , for by being so scandalously general , he 'll be forc'd to be particular ; and 't is many a Pious Man's Case , who wou'd never have been Honest if he had not lost his Credit , never Vertuous if his Appetites had not decay'd ; 't is the best thing you can do for his Reformation , and my Happiness .

Les.

Well , well , Madam , however you flatter your self , I don't doubt but you 'll find your self as unhappy with him as he has made others ; so your Servant Madam , I shan't trouble you more with my Counsel , but you 'll Repent . — —

Mi.

What ? Nay Lesbia , I can't let you go now , 't is so obliging to be mov'd at this rate for your Friends good — — Come , come , had not you better confess , what this concern enough discovers ; if you wou'd be sincere with me , I cou'd tell you a Secret worth two of yours , and wou'd give you more satisfaction than all your own Art or Resentment ever can .

Les.

Perhaps I cou'd tell you something too , that wou'd undeceive you , but I have no great Encouragement from the use you made of what I hinted before for your Advantage , repeating it to Beaumine , and ridiculing me for it .

Mi.

The lying Toad ! may I never have a Secret of my own worth keeping , or of anothers worth telling , if I said one word of it , but 't was a wonder I did not ; for if I discover any thing of my self that can make a Jest , out it comes at all adventures ; but when I am thro'ly trusted , tho' with a Jest , I can keep it without bursting , and faithfully will , I promise you .

Les.

Then I will own to you , Beaumine and I are so solemnly engag'd , that if he has made you any Proposal , he 's the most perfidious Man on Earth .

Mi.

Nay , then 't is past jesting , and I must tell you , what I said was only to try you ; all his Discourse to me was a meer Gallantry , and with his usual Gaity of Humour ; yet by the care I find he has taken to hinder us from confiding in one another , I apprehend he may have some farther Design .

Les.

Then if you 've none upon him , you may assist me in one I have of Consequence .

Mi.

With all my Heart , for whatever little Inclinations I may have , they only amuse me for the present ; but the more endear Constant to my serious Thoughts , whose plain Dealing and true Affection I find no where equal'd , and will get the better of my fickleness at last .

Les.

But that I desire you to disguise from Beaumine , and to pretend you are dissatisfy'd with your Uncle's Choice , which will encourage him to declare himself , if he has any serious Designs , and you carry it on handsomely .

Mi.

Let me alone for that , I have acted an indifference for Constant long enough to be perfect in 't En.

Wo.

A Gentleman , Madam , that calls himself Bonsot , inquires if you are here .

Mi.

O! By all means let him come , that Creature can never be unentertaining , if we can furnish no occasion for his good Nature to do Mischief in , the Elegancy of his Bulls must divert us . ( En. Bonsot .

Bon.

Since you command me to do my self this Honour , hope , Madam , you 'll forgive my intruding without your leave , where I have no business , being 't is a Concern of Consequence brings me .

Mi.

Then it seems , Sir , you have business here .

Bon.

Ay , with this Lady , Madam , I was to wait on you at your Lodgings , and was told you were at Miranda's ; so having something to say to you , I came to let you know it , because I can't inform you of it here .

Mi.

Pray use your liberty , Sir.

Bon.

Your very humble Servant — — Why , look you , Madam , my Brother sending me , I came of my own accord , to desire you will tell your friend Lucilia ; that he don't know , but he 's very certain , Phill found the last Letter she writ to him ; for I saw him just in the place where it was lost , mightily concern'd at a Paper he had in his hand ; I knew by his voice he was in a Passion , but he was not within hearing /

Les.

I thought you heard his voice .

Bon.

Ay , Madam , but I could not tell what he said , for tho' I was pretty near 't was at a good distance .

Les.

Well , Sir , I 'll be sure to tell her what you don't know , but are very certain of .

Bon.

That will be very kind , Madam , but if I could meet with him I warrant I 'd appease him . ( En. Woman .

Wo.

A Gentleman below , Madam , desires to wait on you ?

Mi.

Who is it ?

Wo.

The young brisk Gentleman that I told your Ladyship would make a rare Gallant for you when you are married ; but he looks sullen enough now for a Husband .

Mi.

Beaumine , on my life , let him come up — — now if you 'll step into that Closet , you may be witness of the whole Scene .

Les.

With all my Heart , this is lucky ; but should not Bonsot retire too ?

Mi.

No , he may stay if he 'll be sure not to discover your being here .

Bon.

You need not fear me , Madam , I never discover a secret , unless it should happen to be something I don't know .

Mi.

In , in , he 's coming . ( Enter Beaumine .

Beau.

I was told , Madam , Lesbia was here .

Mi.

She 's just gone .

Beau.

Do you know whether ? Madam .

Bon.

No , Sir , I can assure you she does not know .

Mi.

Now , do you think to make me Jealous , or is it to make your self new ? It is indeed extreamly new ; but no very taking way of addressing to a Woman by shewing a Concern for another .

Beau.

Faith , Madam , the Concern I have for her at present , need disturb no body but my self , for I do hate her heartily .

Mi.

Which would not disturb you , if you had not rather lover her heartily .

Bon.

Nay , why so Madam ? I don't believe the Gentleman had rather love her ; but a Man may love a Woman that he hates , whether he will or not , and then 't is not his fault .

Mi.

So you have mended the matter .

Beau.

A Man can't bear to be impos'd upon .

Mi.

And now can a Woman impose upon a Man , when they have no Interest in one another ? As you would have me believe .

Bon.

There you are too hard again , Madam , mayn't a Woman impose upon a Man ; meerly out of a jilting Nature , tho' she have no Interest at all in it ? Especially if she finds him fond and credulous .

Beau.

I have a rare Advocate — — Well , Madam , in Anger as well as in Wine there is Truth ; I confess , Lesbia once had such an Interest in me , as would have cost the best part of my Possessions to satify ; but thanks to the Vertue of her Sex , she has forfeited .

Mi.

What a Debt upon your Estate ?

Beau.

Upon my Liberty , the most unreasonable of Debts ; but I 'm releas'd and — — seiz'd again by another , but there 's no more bond and Judgments against me : I shall only be your Prisoner at large , you may call me in when you please , Miranda .

Mi.

How can I trust you , when Lesbia that had so fast confin'd cou'd not secure you ? — — Come Beaumine , honesty own , you broke lose from her to give your self to me , 't will be far the better Complement , and more generous to her than to wrong her every way .

Bon.

Really , the Gentleman seems to me a very Honest Gentleman , that wou'd not wrong any Lady unless it were in a just cause ; I warrant if he had not been in love with you or some body else , he wou'd never have forsaken her , but when a greater Merit claims his Heart , d' e see , a Man has right of his side to do wrong to the less worthy .

Mi.

Most solidly and eloquently argu'd .

Beau.

'T is such a well meaning blunderer — — I 'm extreamly oblig'd to you , Sir.

Bon.

Not at all , Sir , I always endeavour to make a right understanding between any Persons that I am acquainted with , tho' they are Absolute Strangers to me .

Beau.

Ha , ha , ha , very charitably done indeed , Sir , — — but Madam , on my Honour I have not injur'd Lesbia — — Ha , I feel my Liberty , ( Repeats ) lighter by what I 've lost I tread on Air — — Have a care of your self , Miranda ; she has left a plaguy deal of Love upon my hands , and if you shou'd be forc'd to bear it all — —

Mi.

I dare undertake it , like Aesop's choice of the Bread , tho' the heaviest Burthen at first , being our constant Subsistance , 't will wast every day , and soon be light enough .

Beau.

Then you must resolve to have no other Subsistance .

Mi.

Oh such a dry Diet — — a little Variety to make it Relish the better , but if you are for Devouring it so fast , let 's e'en make but one Meal on 't , Marry , and there 's an end ; What think you of that Beaumine ?

Beau.

Think , Ay — — Faith , we must e'en do 't without thinking , or we shall never have the Courage .

Mi.

Nay but I 'm Serious .

Beau.

What , before we 're Married , time enough after , this is a Time for Gaiety and Joy , Ha , my fair Bride , here let me Plight my Vows on this soft Hand . Const. Enters here unseen .

Con.

So Close !

Beau.

But now I think on 't , there 's a Matrimonial Rival in the Case , he 'll certainly forbid the Banes.

Mi.

Ah , Name him not , I am so sick of his fulsom , whining Stuff .

Beau.

I 'm afraid there 's more Love than you 'll confess , by what I have heard of the Matter .

Mi.

They talk of putting us together indeed , but sure you 're more a Man of this Age , than to think Love a consequence of Marriage .

Bon.

Ay Pox , Love is never any part of the concern in Marriage ; some indeed Marry only for Love , but then — —

Beau.

Ay , Madam , 't is sometimes the cause of it , Love has many extravagant Effects .

Mi.

His Love may be the cause of it , for it makes him so indefatigable a Tormentor , that if you have not Courage enough to free me , I must marry him at last , for that 's a sure way to be rid of him .

Con.

Fortune has found you out a quicker way , my Passion now no longer shall Torment you , nor I be more the Subject of your Mirth .

Mi.

What must I say now ! If I undeceive him , it will discover Lesbia's Secret ; besides I lose the dear pleasure of Teazing him .

Bon.

What can I contrive now !

Con.

Is there excuse for this ungenerous usage ? Had I by violent Means , or indirect pursued you , but how oft , Miranda , with bleeding Heart , and gushing Eyes , have I sworn rather to place you in anothers Arms , than fetter you in mine against your will ? Why then , if I were so uneasy to you , could you not rid your self with Honour of me ? Why this unfair proceeding ?

Bon.

Nay Sir , I must needs say , the whole fault was partly mine , of their being so good Friends , for when they first met , this Lady was Jealous of another , and he was in an Anger , they seem'd to have very little kind thoughts for one another , but you must know , I , Sir — —

Con.

Have very well Reconcil'd 'em since , I see Sir — — So far engag'd Anger and Jealousy between ' em ! O faithless Woman — — What pretence .

Mi.

Well , who can tell when to believe these Lovers ? 'T was but yesterday he swore , I was too great a Good to be engros'd , Nature design'd me an Universal Blessing ; and now I must make no body Happy but himself .

Con.

Miranda , you 're a Woman . — — Sir , this is no proper place for our dispute .

( Going Beau.

Now must I fight with him for having taken his Mistriss from him , and with her Relations for not taking her .

Bon.

Oh , Madam — — Pray Sir , hear me , for you must know , I was with them all the time they were alone , tho' some Body , that shall be Nameless , would have had me go , but I assured her , I could keep a Secret.

Con.

You would have obliged her more , in giving her a privater opportunity , no doubt . O Torture ! ( Apart

Bon.

Pugh , that was as I told you , a Person that must be Nameless .

Con.

Sir , I am not in a Humour to be Fool'd with ( Going )

Bon.

Fool'd , Sir !

Mi.

This is carrying the Jest a little too far , tho' — — Constant ,

Con.

Madam .

Mi.

I would fain know upon what Terms we part , before you go .

Con.

Terms of never meeting , I know no other can be made between us . ( going )

Mi.

But one thing more . — — I am considering which of us must wear the Willow , Can you resolve me ?

Con.

Am I your Jest ?

Mi.

Well , but in Earnest now , stay but a Minute .

Con.

What to be more Abused ? I have been Fool'd enough .

( As he is going Lesb. comes out of the Closet and stops him . Lesb.

Stay to be disabused .

Con.

I know enough .

Beau.

Lesbia here ! then I 'm afraid , 't is I have been fool'd .

Bon.

Lord , that she should discover her self ? But do what she will , I 'm resolved not to betray my Trust.

Les.

Nay , you shall stay and know the Truth .

Beau.

I know , Madam , that you are a very Virtuous , Generous Person .

Les.

Thou the Basest of Men , but I have not leisure to upbraid thee , till I have Justified my Friend .

Bon.

So , more Mischeif forwards , I must not betray my Trust.

Les.

I dare affirm , she had not now a Thought of wronging you , for 't was at my Request , to try Beaumine's Truth , she gave him this obliging Reception , Bonsot can witness — —

Bon.

I scorn to betray my Trust , Madam . — — As for me , Sir , I can't say Lesbia was here before , but I can affirm this to my knowledge , that Miranda had no design of quarrelling with you , but you not being here , d' e see , and this Gentleman a very engaging Person , she could not be so hard-hearted , you must hink , to put him quite in dispair .

Con.

Do you Insult me , Sir ?

Bon.

Sir ,

Mi.

He does not know his Humour .

Bon.

Why should you be so peevish , Sir ? What if she had sent him away in dispair , and he had gone and hang'd himself ?

Con.

Then you might have hang'd with him for Company , Sir.

Bon.

Oh , oh , oh , to do you Service , Sir.

Les.

An Officious Coxcomb not worth your Anger , but what I have 〈◊〉

Con.

You 'll Pardon me if I believe her self , she has 〈◊〉 to deny , but Justifies her Infidelity .

Les.

That was , I suppose , her too scrupulous Care to conceal what I Entrusted her with ; but I saw there could be no other proof of her Innocence , but my appearing , which must convince you 't was a Plot between us ; What else could I be hid for ? You need not conceal it now , Bonsot .

Bon.

Nay , nay , don't think to draw me in so , I knew better things , this is all to make a difference betwixt you and Miranda ; now , I see the drift on 't , but don't mind her . ( to Beaumine )

Con.

Your Witness is not well enough Instructed .

Bon.

Oh , as to that I know all , and if you will have it , Lesbia did hide her self indeed , not that there was any Plot against Beaumine ; but Miranda having a desire to be alone with him . — — Not that she designd to injure you , Sir , ●ing you should know all . — — to Con. ) Not that she would have betray'd you , Sir , but for fear he should discover it . — — to Beau. ) Tho' there was no harm , but you might have been Jealous , and made a Fighting 〈◊〉 . — — to So you might have been kill'd , Sir. — — ( to Beau. ) And your Life in danger , Sir. — — ( to Con. ) But the Lady having a great Value for you , Sir. — — ( to And fearing to lose you , Sir. — — ( to Con. ) And as I was saying . — — Ay Pox , I 'd fain have you both satisfy'd .

Con.

What Impertinence is this ?

Beau.

Is it not my turn to complain now , Madam ? — — Well , there is no Confiding in you Women , your Vainity , or Jealousy is sure to betray 〈◊〉 ; but if ever I trust two to know one another , with the same Secret s●… You are the strangest Incontinent Creatures .

Mi.

And have you the Impudence to complain of 〈◊〉 that you were endeavouring to deceive !

Beau.

Why , have not you both deceiv'd me ?

Mi.

Ha 〈◊〉 , if I could not be fond of him again for this Humour \ . But you , I hope Constant , are now convinced .

Con.

Yes , Madam , tho' I before took Pains to Cheat my self , now every Act of your Disdain and Coldness , upbraids the folly of my blinded Passion , that would believe they rise from any Cause , but strong Aversion .

Mi.

One would think , a Woman of my Fortune , need not to be so desperate at these years , to bestow her self upon on that is her Aversion .

Con.

You knew my Credulous Nature fit to work on , and now I should deserve to be so used , be made the Tool you meant me for , if I again believed ; but no , Miranda , I 've broke my Chain , and here I throw it from me ; Thus from my Injur'd Heart , I 'll throw you too for ever . ( Going .

Mi.

O come back , I beg you .

Con.

Never .

Mi.

Then he is lost indeed , and I am wretched .

Bon.

But , Sir , pray consider , as the Lady was saying , she 's a young Lady , and a Rich Lady , and might have any Body she pleases , I would Marry her with all my Heart , my self , tho' I 'm resolved never to Marry , so what need can she have — —

Con.

None of me , Sir , so pray give me leave .

Bon.

Nor of any Man for a Tool , Sir , for this I can say , she had no design to have a Gallant , for as soon as the Gentleman talk'd of Love to her , she propos'd Marriage .

Con.

She was very forward it seems . — — I must be gone , Sir.

Bon.

Forward , Sir. — — Oh , I suppose that . — — Nay , hear me , Sir.

( As he offers to go , Bon. still stops him . Con.

Provoking Coxcomb .

Les.

This is Barbarous , for shame , Constant , you won't leave her thus in Tears .

Con.

Tears , come , Madam , you need not hide your Mirth , ( Taking her handkerchief from her Face . I can Laugh with you now , Ha! she weeps indeed ! O let those pretious Drops fall on this Bosom , soften this stubborn Heart , that would contend against thy Virtue , and its own Perswasion .

Bon.

Ay , I knew I should Reconcile 'em at last .

Mi.

Why will you beleive ? These Tears , may be dissembled .

Con.

No , thou art Truth itself , and my Proud Heart wanted but this excuse for its Submission ; Can you forgive me ?

Mi.

Indeed you were unkind , tho' you had reason , for , I confess , I have not us'd you well .

Con.

Do you confess it ? 'T is too large Attonement ; O that in this soft Minute I could hear my Charmer speak me Happy ; Tell me , Miranda , when will you be mine ?

Mi.

Indeed the Apprehension of losing you was so dreadful to me , that now , methinks , I can't be secure of you too soon .

Con.

Shall it be to Morrow then ?

Mi.

You Dispose of me .

Con.

To Morrow then , Miranda , makes us one ; O my Transported Soul leaps at the Thought , as if it would break forth , to speak its Joy ! it will not stay , but flys to meet with thine through this lov'd Bosom , and take an Earnest of our coming Bliss . — — To Morrow , my Miranda , O my Love !

Les.

I wish you would take an Earnest large enough to subsist on a day or two longer , I shall be at a loss else how to divide my self betwixt you , and Lucilia .

Beu .

You may engage your self here , if you please , Madam , for I believe Lucilia will have no great occasion for you to Morrow , unless it be to condole with her .

Les.

Condole with her ! for what ? Only for being disappointed of a good natur'd Cuckold , Madam , that 's all .

Bo.

That is Pitty !

Les.

Scandalous ! you are such an Enemy to Vertue , none that profess it can scape your censure ; what is' t you mean by these Accusations ?

Be.

Why , I mean that a very civil Letter which she design'd for her Gallant fell by chance into Phillabell's hands , at the very same time that the Ring you had giv'n yours , happend into the sight of your humble Servant .

Les.

I suppose you both wanted an Excuse for your constancy , and so fell upon this Invention .

Bo.

No indeed , Madam , 't is not his invention , the thing is true only , 't is a mistake ; a Ring there was , but you know Sir , I told you 't was giv'n by a Wench , a very Jilt .

Be.

I believe you , Sir , indeed .

Con.

As you have been an Instrument in this division , I hope Miranda it will be your care to reconcile these Lovers . I must leave you to give som Orders for to Morrows happy busiuess .

Mi.

Come , what say you to it ? Will you accept of me for Arbitrator ? I 'll be a very Impartial Judge .

Be.

Lesbia I have still some regard for your Honour , and would be loath to publish your baseness .

Mi.

Will you , Beaumine , do her Justice , if she is innocent , and can clear her self .

Bea.

Ay , ay , if the Sky fall , Madam .

Les.

I dont doubt my Justification ; but that must be defer'd .

Bea.

Venus forbid ! Upon the assurance that was impossible , I was just going to make her the Promise .

Les.

Methinks , Beaumine , it wou'd become you , at this time , to Answer Miranda's question in a more serious manner .

Bon.

Seriously then , be it known Lesbia , there is a Law that excludes any one from witnessing their own Cause .

Bon.

That 's a very silly Law tho' , for does not one know their own Cause best , and are most concern'd to clear themselves , right , or wrong ?

Beau.

Therefore , Sir

Les.

But if I shou'd bring Proofs ?

Beau.

Ay , ay , there are Proofs that the Earth moves , and that it does not move , every thing can be prov'd ; but where we are concern'd the strongest Argument is always on the side our Inclinations are for ; so first make me sensible you were innocent .

Les.

Are you resolv'd then

Bea.

Never resolve any thing , I did resolve to believe you faithful , you resolv'd to deceive me , both I have been disappointed ; little said's soon amended , Words are but wind , all Promises are either broke , or kept , Proverbs flow against you /

Les.

Intolerable trifler , Beaumine , I shall find a way to force a juster answer from you .

Bea.

( Sings ) Womens rage like shallow Waters .

Bon.

I gad I love to see People merry , come , Madam , never spoil Company , you see this Gentleman 's pleas'd ; here 's no body out of humour now , but you .

Les.

Here no body has cause , but I.

Bon.

Pugh , not a whit , I 'll engage Beaumine will never give you any farther trouble .

Les.

Prethee Bonsot , I 'm not in a humour now to be pleas'd with your good natur'd impertinence .

Bon.

Ay , ay , this is always my reward for taking pains to do good , when People are in a peevish mood , presently I 'm impertinent .

Mi.

Come , come , a Truce with your anger till a better opportunity of clearing the Debate .

Les.

I had almost forgot Lucilia , she must know of the Letter he talks of , ( a part ) Adieu , my dear , 't is late , and time to leave you , Ex. Les.

Bon.

I must follow her , for I never leave People till I have argu'd , or teas'd , 'em out of their anger ; and , Sir , if you don't find her as fond of you as ever she was in her Life , next time you meet , say I 'm an officious , impertinent , insignificant , Fellow ( Ex. Bon.

Bea.

That will be an extraordinary Obligation , indeed , Sir.

Mi.

Well , Beaumine , you must consider too it grows late , and that I must begin to think of the vertues of a Wife's Discretion and Obedience .

Bea.

Ah! that 's a Vertue I must have too , but mightily against my will when you command me to leave you ; this has been a very Tragical day to Lovers , Phillabell his Mistress false , Lesbia lost a beleiving Coxcomb , I my hopes of the most agreeable Woman in France , and she I 'm afraid will find her self in a greater distress than any of us , for faith Miranda , what ever the unexperienc'd may fancy of Marriage . As those who furrow'd Fields at distance view , May think 'em smooth and flowry as they shew ; But he that enters , curses what they praise , Finds 'em deceitful , toilsom , rugged Ways . ( Ex. severally

ACT. V. Scene , The Walks . Enter Bonsot with Grandfoy . Bon.

COusin , I say , trouble your self no more about this matter , Beaumine is throughly satisfy'd , for you must know , I told him the Person you had the King from was a common Gilt , a Wench you had no value for , and he presently beleiv'd me .

Gr.

Thy Folly 's so ridiculous , it mocks my Anger ; wou'd thou cou'd'st once be sensible how unluckily thou ever toil'st against thy own designs , thy good Nature then wou'd surely Silence thee — — to be always medling where you have nothing to do , in things you know nothing of !

Bon.

Ay , ay , I know nothing , I don't know that he was in such a Passion with you , if I had not hinder'd him , he 'd have cut your Throat before now , without giving you time to say your Prayers .

Gr.

Better he had , than she had been abus'd , the Woman in the World whose Honours I am most concern'd to vindicate , and most to him .

Bon.

Why , her Honour 's ne'er the worse for what I said of her ; but to please you now , I 'll go to him again , and tell him I was mistaken ; that the Lady never had a kindness for any Man but you — —

Gr.

That will mend the matter , indeed .

Bon.

Well , then you shall see how I 'll manage it , ( Going

Gr.

Prithee Bonsot be quiet , all the kindness I ask of thee , is never to intend me any .

Bon.

But wou'd not you have me do Justice to a Lady you say I have wrong'd ?

Gr.

No , no , I am just going to Beaumine , where I have appointed him to meet me , and shall find a way to do her justice my self .

Bon.

O ho , then I 'll go with you .

Gr.

Indeed you shan't , Sir.

Bon.

Try me but once , If I don't make all well again — —

Gr.

Pray , hold your tongue , Sir

Bon.

Well , I will hold my Tongue then , if you 'l let me go , for I know you 'l begin a Quarrel now , and put Beaumine out of his good humour , and then he 'l never let you go to the Devil in quiet , Cousin — — O there 's my Brothers Rival , I must talk with him , stay for me but a little while now .

Enter Phillabell . Gr.

Little enough , I promise you — — a lucky deliverance . ( Ex.

Bon.

Sir , your humble Servant — — happening to see you take up a Letter in the Walks , I imagine it might be one my Brother expected there , because he did not receive it .

Ph.

If he wou'd know what it contain'd , no doubt the Lady that sent it will inform him .

Bon.

Ay , Sir , but that is not the thing now , I can tell you more , because you have reason to take it ill , to shew you have no reason , Sir.

Ph.

No reason , Sir ?

Bon.

Not a dram , Sir , upon my word , for you must know all the kind things in it , were only to pacify my Brother , for fear he shou'd shew you the rest of her fond Letters , not but she really design'd to Marry you .

Ph.

I don't question it , upon my word , Sir.

Bon.

Ay , Sir , to be sure she was in earnest with you , she admitted you to the House , when he cou'd only see her by stealth .

Ph.

Confound ' em .

Bon.

And then , you have a much better Estate than he , Sir.

Ph.

I believe she was sincere with that , Sir.

Bon.

So I hope sir I have satisfy'd you , and since you know she design'd you her Sober choice , and only to play the Fool a little with him ; you won't be angry if he shews you her Letters , and I may have leave to wish you Joy , Sir.

Ph.

Joy Sir , thou busy trifler , hence , and don 't provoke my Rage , what Devil sent thee , when I am going to Lucilia , whom I wou'd meet as calmly , as if I were not Injur'd .

Bon.

Injur'd , why don't I tell nyou Sir , I 'm certain she designs to Marry you . — —

Ph.

Thy Folly gives thee a Priviledge , to abuse men safely ; there 's no way to resent it , but by flying from impertinence . ( Ex.

Bon.

Psha , psha , as I was saying , Sir , — — Phough , why so fast Sir , — — that Men shou'd be such Enemy's to truth , they don't care to hear it , tho' for their good ! Every body runs away from me , when I wou'd tell it 'em if I were a Monster ; — — O yonder 's Beaumine , I 'll go satisfy him , and then to see what humour Lesbia's in , and then to my Cousin , and my Brothers , I 'll go to 'em all round ; I do take a deal of pains , and do a World of good — — to no purpose . ( Ex. Bonsot

Enter Lucilia and Lysetta Lu.

This comes of taking your pernicious Counsels , they have always been fatal to me .

Ly.

I 'm sure I meant well , tho' it falls out so unluckily ; who cou'd dream of such an accident ?

Lu.

Dream , for ought I know the fool hir'd you to betray the Letter to Phillabel .

Ly.

Nay Madam , I know you can't suspect my Fidelity to you .

Lu.

How dare you talk to me ? Get you out of my Sight .

Ly.

Dear , Madam , have patience , if you 'll be advis'd all may be well yet .

Lu.

You 're very free of your wise Counsels indeed , but I 'll hear no more of ' em .

Ly.

Nay , good Madam , be pacify'd , I know I have been the cause of this Misfortune , and therefore I would fain do you some Service , that may recompence it .

Lu.

What Recompence , what Service can you pretend to do me ? Has he not seen the Letter under my own hand ?

Ly.

If you can but deny it confidently enough , I don't doubt your coming off , for all that .

Lu.

Deny it ! What when he has the proof in his possession ? What cou'd that signify , unless to shew him I had join'd Impudence to Infidelity .

Ly.

Nay , it must be manag'd artfully , you must seem angry with him as if you suspected a Forgery ; you know I can counterfeit that hand , insinuate that to him cunningly ; do you observe me , Madam ?

Lu.

Well , what does all this tend to ?

Ly.

'T is a nice business , and will require no little artifice , but let all your Care be , very slyly to give him a Suspicion of me .

Lu.

Do you think he 'l be impos'd upon so ? It can but make him doubt at most .

Ly.

Ay , but I have a further Plot ; we may be thankful for this time to be prepar'd for him before he comes , instead of repining at the accident ; how lucky it was that Lesbia should hear of it , and that you were not at home when Phillabel came last Night , before she had give'n you notice , of it .

Lu.

I shalll be little the better for it , I 'm afraid .

Ly.

Look you , Madam , take my advice ; he 's a Lover , and by consequence credulous ; that will make him believe you enough to have a mind to examine me ; and being jealous , he 'll probably doubt you enough , to do it immediately that we mayn't have time to lay our Heads together , 't is very likely he 'l come directly from you , to look for me , then let me alone for the rest of the project . I engage to return him to you , the most Satisfy'd , humble thing , begging pardon , calling himself a jealous pated Coxcomb , and you the most innocent injur'd — —

( Enter . a young Woman , Servant of Lucilia's , neice to Lysetta . Wo.

Madam , here 's Phillabell coming up .

Ly.

Dear Madam , will you follow my Directions ?

Lu.

Well , well , be gone , I hear him .

Ly.

Neice , come with me Hussy , I have business with you , quick quick .

( Ex. Ly. and Neice . Lu

I hate deceit , but sure 't is of all others the most innocent to cheat a Man to a belief of truth . How my heart trembles ? You seem disturbed , can there be any cause of Sadness on this day ?

( Ex. Phil.

Why , Madam , not on this ?

Lu.

Does Phillabell ask why ! He who so often swore this day wou'd pay the Sum of all his Wishes .

Ph.

Alass there 's nothing Man so much deceives himself in , as the means to his own happiness ; I thought to make you mine the certain way , but unless your Heart cou'd be secur'd , all other ties is wretched Slavery .

Lu.

That you need not doubt , for whom I 've laid aside my Virgin-Modesty , to confess I lov'd you .

Ph.

You have told me so indeed , but are you sure th' obedience of a Daughter had not sway'd you against your Inclination ?

Lu.

Heav'n can witness , that you are much less my Father's choice than mine .

Ph.

Have a care , Madam , what you call Heaven to attest , and deal with me sincerely , for I am come as one that truly loves you , to offer you my Service , in whatever way can best conduce to make you happy .

Lu.

Your Service ! Can any thing in nature make me happy but your Love ?

Ph.

I wou'd not have you made a Sacrifice , and if you fear t' offend your Father in refusing me , confess it generously , I 'll take it upon me , seem to fall off , and whatever his Resentment may proceed to , I promise you to bear it all , rather than expose you to it .

Lu.

I don't know what you mean , this is strange Language to me .

Ph.

Does this speak plain enough ? ( Gives her a Letter , and whilst she reads , says ) so unmov'd ! She must be practis'd sure in falshood .

Lu.

What 's the design of all this ?

Ph.

You best know that , Madam .

Lu.

I know it ! What to disguise your own Inconstancy , must you tax me with such baseness .

Ph.

Why , you won't pretend to deny your own hand Writing , I hope .

Lu.

My writing ! Who dares say I writ it ?

Ph.

O Woman ! Woman !

Lu.

This is a Master-piece of Villany indeed !

Ph.

I was not prepar'd for this turn , I confess ; but who can reach the depths of Woman's artifice .

Lu.

'T will be enough to wrong my Love by your Infidelity , without this Forgery to injure my Reputation ; this from a Man , whom I despis'd all others for !

Ph.

I forge it ! I have not the art of counterfeiting so well as you , Madam , but I may learn in time of so perfect a Mistriss .

Lu.

You have found a much better for your purpose , I assure you .

Ph.

That wou'd be a prodigie , indeed .

Lu.

There 's few can exceed my sweet Governess , who I don't doubt was employ'd in this Contrivance .

Ph.

Employ'd , by whom ? For what ?

Lu.

To sacrifice my Honour , for your base ends .

Ph.

O Madam , you need not distrust her , 't was not she betray'd you , Fortune was my only Friend in this matter .

Lu.

Indeed , I shall hardly take your word for it ; perhaps you imagine I don't know her Skill in counterfeiting my Hand , tho' she might have told you I did .

Ph.

Is' t possible there can be a deceit in this ? If my Reason wou'd be as soon convinc'd as my fond Heart , I cou'd not think her false one minute . Lysetta Counterfeit her Hand , to what end ? And yet I can see nothing of that confusion , or disorder in her Looks , which Guilt , wou'd naturally have , upon so unexpected a Discovery ; what can resolve me in this Hell of Doubts ?

Lu.

So there 's some hopes , it begins to work ( apart ) I see you are surprized , to find your Accomplice so soon suspected .

Ph.

Madam , I thought you had known me too well to believe me capable of such a Villany ? If you are innocent , we are both abus'd .

Lu.

I thought too my Vertue had been better known , and I will clear it , if my false Governess dare deny it , there may be ways to force the Truth from you , and her .

Ph.

There may be ways too , Madam , to make her own , what ever you Please .

Lu.

You may prevent that if you please , but I suppose you 'l be loath to lose so good a pretence for denying my Innocence , if I should make it appear .

Ph.

O cou'd you look into my Heart Lucilia , it wou'd tell you , that with the forfeiture of half my reason , I wou'd believe you 're wrong'd , so much I wish itl but tho' I shou'd be easily convinc'd , yet for you sake , that there may be no room left for malice , I 'll tax your Governess before you see her with this Forgery , as if I knew it her's that perhaps may induce her to confess it .

Lu.

You may do as you think fit .

Ph.

Till then believe I suffer more than you ; what different effects does Passionate Love produce !

Fearful to lose , we quickly jealous grow . And wishing to be lov'd , soon think we 're so . ( Ex. Lu.

Now , if Lysetta play her part as well , who can condemn this harmless Artifice ? the main point's that I love Phillabell , and despire Cleon , are Truths , where then wou'd be the Vertue or Wisdom , to let him know some disagreeable Circumstances , which wou'd make us both really uneasy , tho' there were only an imaginary reason for it ; but happy are those who have ru'ld their Lives , with so much prudence , that every action may appear bare fac'd ; for to be forc'd to the least disguise is some violence to an honest nature , and tho' 't is not disus'd to injure others , 't is a corruption , at least a blemish to do Injury to itself ; yet wou'd the Men dissemble no otherwise with us , we cou'd easily forgive 'em , but they were baser Arts ,

All their past faults , with impudence reveal , And only those which they intend concel . ( Exit
Scene changes to the Walks . Enter Beau-mine and Grandfoy . Gr.

Thus , Sir , least my Sword shou'd fail to do her Justice , I have endeavour'd to convince you know how little Lesbia has deserv'd such unhandsom Usage from you , and am ready to confirm the truth of what I have said with the hazard of my Life . We need to go no farther , Sir , this place is Private , and convenient .

Be.

To give me Satisfaction , Sir , for you have done me such an injury .

Gr.

I thought , Sir , what I have told you with so much frankness , and Lesbia's Letters , which you saw , refusing the Offer I had made to Marry her , and mentioning on what account the Ring was given me , were proofs that we never Injured you .

Beau.

Why , that 's the mischief on 't , you have convinc'd me she has been so Honourable , that I must be Married , the greatest misfortune you could have drawn me into , that I know of , indeed , Sir.

Gr.

Then it seems you don't Love her , Sir.

Beau.

Because I have no mind to marry her ? Then no Man ever did Love , for no Man ever had , or can have a Mind absolutely to marry any Woman .

Gr.

Why , has not many a Man married meerly for Love ?

Beau.

Ay , Sir , and many a Man has taken a House he liked , with a considerable Fine upon it , because he knew it would not be let otherwise , but I 'll be hang'd if any man had not rather have it without .

Gr.

And be the more unwilling to pay it , after he has been long in Possession .

Beau.

But rather than forfeit his Word , or his House , for I find there 〈◊〉 Love as well as Honour in the case .

Gr.

Well , Sir , if you resolve to do her Justice upon any Motive , t is all that Lesbia can require of you ; but since we both have a Claim to her , nothing but our Swords can decide it .

Bea.

O , yes , Sir , she can do it much better , for tho' it 's true , Women are seldom favourable to Merit , we must own they are better Judges than the most Judicious Sword in Europe ; the Advantage is , the Person she rejects , will be in a better condition than may be his chance if we fall to cutting of Throats . — — For him she chuses , I can't promise it , indeed .

Gr.

You talk very little like a Lover ; I wish her Choice were placed where ' t wo'd be Welcomer ; but I prefer Lesbia's Satisfaction to my own and therefore am content to submit to her Sentence .

Beau.

Wisely resolved , Sir , a Man of Honour , should not decline fighting upon any reasonable occasion ; but where it can answer the end — — If it be for Revenge , Stabbing a man is a very substantial one ; but for a Mistress , how the Devil does my Sword know her inclinations ? If it happen to dispatch the man she likes , I am sure to be hated the more for it ; if a man she dislikes , there was no danger in him ; so it can never be to any purpose . Come , Sir , let us try other means , Capitulate with the Lady ,

Women by force of Arms can ne're be won , Unless the Guards within , betray the Town . Sound a parley , ye Fair , and Surrender . ( Exit . Singing with
SCENE the 3d. Lesbia's Lodgings . Enter Lesbia and Lucilia . Lu.

You see how dear this foolish Gallantry had like to have cost me , if your timely notice had not put me upon my Guard.

Les.

This comes of being so hasty to run into an Amour , before the Heart engages , we must retreat , and know not how to do it with Honour ; but when Love leads us on , how ever dangerous the consequences are it makes 'em easie to us .

Lu.

But 't is indeed a strange folly so hazard our Reputation , only for the vanity of securing a Conquest , the Prize is so little worth , in respect of the Venture .

Les.

What think you of the contrary fault , affectig an indifference , for those we really love ?

Lu.

That 's as much a greater folly , as our own happiness is of more consequence to us , than other Peoples Opinion .

Les.

How blind we are to our own faults ! Now don't you see that what you have been condemning , you are at this instant guilty of , flying Phillabel , when you most wish to meet him ; and seeming angry with him , when you know he 's in the right .

Les.

But 't wou'd not be wise to know it , as our Affairs stand , and I have ordered Lysetta to tell Phillabel I am at your Lodgings , if he comes here I can't avoid him , and so give him an opportunity of reconciling himself , without seeming to desire it .

Bon.

I 'll engage Madam , he 'll come , I 'm sure I said enough in your defence , to satisfie any reasonable Man.

Les.

No doubt , a little harmless Artifice is sometimes necessary , and for a young Beginner , you have preformed pretty well , but Lysetta's Part was manag'd with wonderful dexterity .

Lu.

The Design indeed was cunningly laid , and happily effected .

Les.

Hold ; is not that Phillabel's Voice below ?

( Enter Phil. and Lu.

I think it is , now for my last Deceit , Madam , I 'll take my leave of you /

Les.

Nay , now indeed you shan't .

Ph.

Be so just to hear what I have to say , before you condemn me , Madam .

Lu.

I have heard you say too much .

Bon

Now what can she be angry at ?

Ph.

But here Lysetta , Madam , come , you must speak the truth .

Lys.

I beg your Pardon , Madam , I did not think any harm wou'd come on 't , but truly I did write some Letters in your Name to Cleon ; indeed I did not intend to do you any injury by it .

Lu.

No injury ! What else cou'd induce you to it ? Who set you on ?

Ly.

No body set me on , but Cleon took care to pay me so well for deceiving him , that I thought it worth my pains .

Lu.

It seems Phillabel , you have great Power with her , to make her confess all this .

Bo.

What is she Jealous of her ? — — Oh , Madam , there 's nothing in that but Money too ; he has only given her Money enough , take my word for it .

Lu.

So I imagine , Sir.

Bo.

Psha , you think 't was upon some slippery account now , but 't was only to make her own this Cheat , I can answer for him .

Ph.

Prithee give me leave to vindicate my self , Bonsot .

Bo.

With all my heart Sir , now I have satisfied her as to the main point .

Les.

Ay , like all the other Universal Friends , commanding every one alike , their Praises always injure .

Ph.

I took her in the very fact , Madam , my good Genius led me thither just as she was writing , and so intent upon her Treachery , I came into the Chamber unperceiv's , heard her , admiring with her Niece her Skill in counterfeiting your hand so perfectly ; when I had heard enough , I snatch'd the Paper , which was to the same effect of that I shew'd you , it having miscarry'd , she was writing it again , which left her no room to deny her guilt , nor me to doubt your innocence .

Lu.

'T was happy , since it proves a means of putting an end to this Cheat , and gives us power to punish the Author of it , which she shall find severely .

Ph.

But first , Lucilia , let us think of our own happiness , that no new chance may cross it .

Lu.

'T is not enough that you believe me innocent , since Cleon , and perhaps by his Vanity , many others suspect me of infidelity , I must not let you share in my dishonour .

Bo.

Why , Madam , 't will make your part the less .

Ly.

If I might hope for pardon of my fault , by making some kind of reparation , I wou'd tell Cleon , how I have all this while abus'd him .

Bo.

And let me alone to appease him , I 'll tell him 't is all but a sham , to a certain purpose .

Lu.

I hope he knows his Brother well enough , to esteem what he says as it deserves .

Les.

Upon those terms I must become her Intercessor .

Ph.

And I have reason to join with you .

Lu.

You have too much power with me to be refus'd any thing you desire .

Ph.

Then you are mine again , at your Feet receive my thanks , and let this hand give me Possession .

( as he kneels , Beau. Grand . and Cleon , enter . Bo.

See now how good Griends I have made you , and here comes my Cousin , and Beau. together , I thought I had made up matters between them too .

Beau.

So. this is th way on 't , when the Women have play'd us false , we must submit , and beg pardon , for having the impudence to see it .

Ph.

Oh , Beaumine , my Lucilia's innocent .

Beau.

Ay , ay ; so they are all , if they have but cunning enough .

Ph.

Thou' rt a meer Infidel .

Beau.

No faith , Phill. no offense to thee . I 'm e'en as credulous a Coxcomb as thyself ; prithee don't laugh at me , there are two evils you know that go by destiny .

Ph.

Of which I shou'd least expect Marriage to be thine , indeed .

Gr.

My Cousin Cleon , Madam , met us as we were coming hither , and wou'd needs have me bring him to wait on you .

Les.

Being your Relation , he must be welcom to me , but I 'm sorry it happens at a time when things are in sucj a posture , that I cannot be so easie , so much at liberty as I shou'd , to be entertain'd by so extraordinary a Person .

Cle.

That is , she would be alone with me , ( apart ) O , Madam , I shall find a happier opportunity , but since I cannot enjoy it now , I 'm extreamly pleas'd to meet such good Company here , I have a great respect for these Lovers , and wish you Joy with all my heart , upon my words , Sir.

Ph.

O , I thank you , Sir , but must desire another favour of you ; you receiv'd some Letters in this Ladies Name , which I expect you shou'd return .

Cle.

In that Ladies Name , Sir ? Then it seems she is not asham'd of her Name , that she has told you where to find it ; — — I protest , I resolv'd to conceal 'em , but if you have a mind to have 'em publish'd , Madam , I can put 'em in the Press , they will be a very extraordinary Epithalamium .

Lu.

Sir , you have been deceiv'd , those Letters never express'd my Thoughts .

Cle.

Very probable , Womens words seldom express their Thoughts , I did not doubt but you had more kindness for me , than they exprest .

Ly.

Ah , Sir , my Lady never thought one word of what was writ , 't was all of my contrivance ; I confess , Sir , I was loath to let you despair .

Bo.

Heark you , Brother , this is only a Plot to make you part with your Mistress the more easily ; but don't you seem to know it , and yet dont be angry neither .

Cl.

But seem as good natur'd a Fool as you ; Brother , you had the best contrivance last Night in the Walks to keep me from despair — — but not one word of your Ladies Thoughts .

Lu.

I 'll be sworn I spoke truth , but abusing a Man , is complementing him , when Vanity's the Interpreter .

Ly.

Well , Sir , since the deceit is discover'd , I suppose you won't think my Letters worth keeping .

Cl.

Her Letters — — Madam la Governante , when you grant me the favour , I desire it may be in the same shape , you made me the promise in last Nighit .

Ly.

Ay , ay , Sir , this shape is only put on , that we may keep it with the more security .

Cl.

O , I apprehend .

Ph.

I hope , Sir , you believe Lucilia had no had in deceiving you ?

Cl.

Pasitively , I assure you , Sir.

Ph.

And be so ungenerous to refuse the Letters .

Cl.

Sir , I happen to have 'em all about me ; I had some thoughts you might have a curiosity to know how well she cou'd write before you Marry'd her , they 're at your service , Sir , if you please to peruse ' em .

( gives the Letters . Ph.

I have not the curiosity indeed , Sir ; here Lysetta .

( gives 'em her . Cl.

The best bred Husband in the World , rat me .

Bo.

I told you I shou'd satisfie him , Sir ; now you must know he thinks the Letters were Lucilia's , for all this .

Ph.

Does he so , Sir , I shall find a way then , to convince him they are not .

Bo.

Hay , why are you angry at that ? Nay , rather than you shou'd quarrel , I 'll tell him my self , that she only order'd Lysetta to write ' em .

Ph.

What you say is of so little consequence , I care not what you tell him .

Bo.

Ay , ay ; this is always my reward ; but for all that , I shall never give over — —

Ph.

Being impertinent , I dare engage for thee ; 't is the happiest , tho the most incurable Distemper a Man can have , and both for the same reason , he can never be made sensible of it .

Beau.

Among the many interposers in Affairs , they have nothing to do with , who , when they laugh at this officious Medler , will consider him as their own Picture ?

Lu.

Well , I am happily come off , but through such dangers , such anxieties , as might warn all our Sex against those little Gallantries , with which they only think to amuse themselves ; but tho' innocent , too often gain 'em such a Character of Lightness , as their future Conduct never can efface ; nay , tho' I have succeeded better , I find within , all is not as it shou'd be , a secret check , that so entire a confidence as Phillabel has in me , is not return'd with that plain , open , artless dealing it deserves ; that will be the lasting punishment of my childish fault .

Les.

Grandfoy tells me , Beau. you will both submit to my choice between you .

Beau.

So we agreed , Madam ; I 'm impatient to know which blessing I must lose you , or my liberty .

( Enter Con. and Les.

Miranda ! and Marry'd I 'll engage , by that affected gravity .

Lu.

Miranda Marry'd at last !

Mir.

Ay , you may give him Joy ; for 't is the first Day of his Reign .

Con.

Of my happiness indeed , but 't wou'd be ungrateful to use it to the prejudice of your Power , from whom I have receiv'd it .

Mir.

I beginto be terribly afraid , I shall certainly love you , and you have lov'd me so fast , you must be near the end of the Race , before I am set out .

Con.

O! 't is an endless Race ; endeavour but to overtake me .

Beau.

This is a dreadful Omen to me , Madam ; there was so much Sympathy between us , I 'm afraid it reaches to our Destinies too .

Mir.

Do the Planets encline to Conjunction then ? I cou'd not forbear coming to enquire how your Affairs went ?

Beau

Very ill indeed , Madam ; there is but a Womans inclinations betwixt me and Ruin , which wou'd certainly give her to that Gentleman , if I were as fond of Marrying her , as he is ; but your Sexes Darling , Contradiction , I fear will carry it .

Mir.

What , Lesbia in profound Meditation ?

Les.

Advise me , Miranda ; I 'm a little puzzled in this Affair .

Mir.

Divided betwixt Love and Honour ?

Bo.

Now I advise you , Madam , in this Case .

Les.

What , without knowing it ?

Bo.

Let it be what it will , I am never of Honour's side , it 's good for nothing but to make People uneasie , and I wou'd have every body please themselves , whether they can , or no.

Les.

You must teach em the Art then — — But prithee shoul'd I , out of a foolish scruple , tie my self to Beau. when we are weary of one another ;

Mir.

Or lay the Yoke upon a fresh Lover , that will hold out longer .

Les.

And bear it easier ; how shall I resolve ? I think they had best throw Dice for me .

Mir.

E'en put it to the Vote .

Les.

With all my heart .

Mir.

What say you , Gentlemen ? Lesbia is so unwilling to disoblige either of you , she 's resolv'd to be his , that has most Voices for him .

Beau.

What she pleases .

Cr.

I shall never dispute her will.

Cl.

This is extreamly new ; but I don't know why it shou'd not be brought into a Custom to Marry , as well as to Divorce by Vote ; unless indeed , that getting rid of our Wives , will be more for the general good .

Mir.

Well , sir , which are you for ?

Cl.

Since there is so good a Relief , for him that will soonest be weary of her .

Gr.

That I grant , is on Beaumine's side .

Mir.

What say you , Constant ?

Con.

I am for him that loves her best .

Gr.

That favours me .

Bon.

I am for him that won't quarrel with her .

Beau.

That 's likely to be me , for I shall be least with her .

Lu.

I am for him that can plead most right in her .

Beau.

Ah the Devil ! that 's me again .

Ph.

I am for him that she loves best .

Mir.

And I for him that she loves least .

Beau.

That has undone me ; 't was pure Malice , Miranda .

Les.

The odds are on Beaumine's side , whether I declare I love him least , or best , there 's a Vote for him ; his right is indisputable , he says he shan't quarrel with me , and he 's weary of me already ; so there can be but two against him .

Beau.

You 'll find hereafter there were more ; my late suspicion of you gave me such disquiets , as shew'd me how dear you are to me , and the proofs of your innocence confirm my Love , with my Esteem .

Les.

Which to preserve , and for all our quiets , I propose that for the future , Grandfoy , be a Stranger to us .

Bon.

Oh! that 's cruel — — Sir , my Cousin has a great kindness for you , and your Lady , I 'll engage he 'll do her no harm .

Beau.

Oh , no Sir.

Gr.

I must submit , but may have still , I hope , some pretence to your Friendship .

Beau.

You have deserv'd it Sir , and are welcom to share with us this Days Diversions .

Con.

I have ordered some Musick , with your leave , Madam , we 'll employ ' em .

After a Dance . Ph.

'T is time now to think upon the ceremony that yet remains to make us Master of our wishes .

Beau.

Which perform's , I resolve to shew those Marry'd Men , whom I have laugh'd out of the fondness , or civility , for their Wives , that I I have learn'd by their weakness , how to avoid giving 'em a Revenge , and will so shamelesly boast of loving mine , that 't will put railery out of countenance ; and by preserving my complaisance for her , shew I know how to value my self .

For treating them with rudeness , or neglect , Does most dishonour , on our selves reflect ; If that respect which their own Merit drew , We think , by their becoming ours , less due : And as in chusing , we their worth approve , We tax our Judgment , when we cease to love .
FINIS . Æ